Murderer

Alex drove her car for what felt like hours. She never really paid attention to what turns she took, all Alex wanted to do was escape the reality of what she had just done. Never did it occur to her that a witches life would end by her hands. For the past five years, she had come to terms with the fact that she would watch her brothers and sisters fall, but at the hands of vampires or werewolves, even half crazed humans, not her own.

Watching those who she had fought alongside die was painful, but Alex had always used her pain as a way to push onwards, to keep going and remember what they had died for. But this witch, this young girl who was barely older than Elena or Sarah, was now dead because of her. Alex was a murderer.

Tears stung her eyes, and she forced herself to pull over before she killed someone else. She tore off the seat belt and stumbled out of her car. The road was silent and dark beside the faint light of a street light about thirty meters up the road and the small light that lit up the wicker bridge sign.

Alex wanted to scream as she looked at the sign. Everything brought her back here. She threw her car door closed and kicked it as hard as she could, again and again. It didn't matter that the young witch had been trying to help a vampire; it didn't matter that she was their enemy. The girl was a child and was probably being manipulated by the evil original to do his bidding. Alex knew that she could have been saved if only she'd had the chance to speak with her. Instead, Alex's rash actions had resulted in the girl being impaled by a broken leg of a table.

Moving away from her car, Alex walked up onto the bridge. Once in the middle, she pulled herself up to stand on the barrier and look over the water of the river. Everything was too damn complicated. Why did she have to be a witch? Why did Elena have to be a doppelganger? Why did her parents have to die? Why did she get to live while that girl died?

Her body began to tingle, telling her that a vampire was close by, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Alex was busy being miserable and wallowing, vampires, could wait until later. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the barrier. It was wide enough that she could tuck her legs beneath her.

"I was concerned for a moment that you were going to leap into the depths below."

Alex sighed and turned to look at Elijah. He stood there, dressed in an expensive suit and had a soothing smile gracing his lips. "And deprive you of my presence?" she said, "never."

Elijah smile widened. "That would be a shame."

Alex felt her chest warm, and for a moment, the pain of what she had done faded.

Elijah hopped up onto the barrier, beside her, and took his own seat, daggling his legs over the edge. "What has you out here so late? With Niklaus on the loose, it isn't safe for you to be out alone."

Alex sighed. "Thanks for your concern, but I'm more than capable of defending myself." She paused, then said, "Too good, apparently."

Elijah frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We found your brother," said said.

"Did you?" he asked, surprised.

Alex nodded. "Inside Alaric."

Elijah asked, "Is that the older man with the constant look of constipation on his face?"

"What?" Alex looked at him, confused.

"The high school teacher," he said.

"Yeah, um. Constipated? Really?" Alex couldn't help but smile. The comment about Alaric had never been something she considered. Thinking back to his expression, she had to admit Elijah had a point.

Elijah shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I could not think of another word for it." They fell silent for a moment, the hum of the bugs flying around and over the water filling the silence.

Sitting beside Elijah, Alex felt unsure about how comfortable and calm she was. Her magic seemed to enjoy his presence, unlike any other vampire where it screamed at her. As they sat side by side, everything inside her relaxed. It had been the same when she had met him at the Mystic Grill. There had been no repulsion, no tense feelings. It was like her magic was greeting an old friend, someone whom she could trust.

Elijah broke their silence and asked, "Inside him, you say?"

Alex nodded. "Yep. Been in there for some time apparently. Knows all about you and our agreement." Well, she thought he did. Alex had been careful not to spill everything she knew or planned to do.

Elijah asked, "Did you leave him inside the high school teacher, or is he tied up in your living room?"

"He was tied up," said Alex. The feeling of dread returned full force. "I attempted a spell to kick him out but was interrupted by a few of his friends. A couple of witches turned up to help him."

Elijah frowned. "He does seem to have a constant number of witches working for him."

Alex winced. "Yeah, well he now has one less."

"You killed one?" he asked.

Alex nodded. Hearing someone else say what she had done made the pounding regret that much harder to contain. "She was impaled by the leg of a broken table, choked on her own blood." Tears fell down her cheeks, and Alex tried to contain a sob.

Elijah surprised Alex by bringing his hand up and placing it on her shoulder. He squeezed it gently and said, "I take it from your reaction that you haven't killed someone before?"

Alex shook her head. "I've killed vampires, plenty of them. But never a human, or another witch."

"If she was working for Niklaus and trying to help him, you did the right thing."

Alex gripped the edge of the barrier and took a deep breath. "How is killing a young girl the right thing? She was a human, not some emotionless beast." More tears fell. "What about those who loved her? Her friends and family? I took her away from them." She wiped the tears away and clenched her eyes shut. "I'm no better than a vampire."

Elijah snorted, amused. "I don't know if I should take offence to that or not."

"What part?"

"Mainly the emotionless beast part." He twisted his body to face Alex more. He said, "I understand why you would believe that vampires are driven by nothing by hunger, after all, there are many vampires in the world that want nothing more than to watch the blood flow. But there are others who want nothing more than to experience the world. To experience culture, music, food, romance. You call us emotionless, but as a vampire, I feel everything even more deeply than you could ever imagine." He reached out and put his finger under her chin, bringing her face up to look at him. "I have loved and lost, experienced joy and happiness beyond anything you could imagine. I have seen the darkest parts of this world and how horrible everything can truly be. Do you know what my thousand years have taught me?"

"What?" Alex sniffed and wiped away another tear.

"That without the worst parts of the world, how do we know what is good? What is pure? What is right?" He reached forward and caught a stray tear as it fell.

"I suppose we wouldn't," she said.

Elijah smiled. "Exactly."

Alex pulled away from his hand and asked, "What does this have to do with me being a murderer?"

"Alexandra, what happened was not your fault," he said. "From our brief acquaintance, I can see how protective you are of your family. How much you love them. That kind of devotion means you would do anything if you believed it would save them. Defending them and yourself from the witch was not for a malicious reason. You had no intent to hurt her, which means you didn't murder her. It was an accident."

"Regardless, I stole her life."

"No." Elijah grasped her hand. "Niklaus did that when he pulled her into his war. If you want to see a murderer than think of him. Over our thousand years, he has slaughtered innocence for no reason other than he was bored." He pulled her hand into his lap and drew his finger across her palm. The sensation sent a new tingling feeling through her body. It was strange but oddly nice. "If he isn't enough, then I am guilty as well. I have killed and slaughtered those, most who probably didn't do it."

Alex wasn't sure how to react. Elijah was an original vampire; as he said, he had killed countless just like Klaus, just like every vampire. But sitting here he was trying to offer he comfort, he was being kind. Humanity was flowing out of him, and it was something she had never seen from a vampire before. Sure, they had claimed to feel love, happiness, loss, regret, but she had never believed them. They were monsters, weren't they?

Keeping her eyes locked on Elijah's fingers as they traced the lines of her palm, she asked, "If, as you said, feel things so deeply, how do you live with yourself?" A monster would have no regrets. They did what they wanted because it suited them. A monster would never wish to go back and change that.

"There have been many times when I didn't think I could deal with the regret." Elijah took a deep breath and sighed. "There were plenty of occasions that the idea of flipping my humanity switch would just fix everything, but I've witnessed what vampires with no emotions do and that truly is horrific." His fingers laced between Alex's and squeezed gently. "I have even reached a point where I thought that maybe ending it would be better for everyone, and I wondered how far I would need to push Niklaus before he either daggered me for eternity or he may just finally kill me for good. What I remind myself though is that there is so much more to this world than pain and regret and that I made a vow to my siblings, always and forever."

The look of love that overflowed Elijah's face as he spoke about his family made Alex shiver. Never had she seen someone had so much determination or desire to keep their family face, and she had never thought that she would see it on a vampire. "What does always and forever mean?" Was it a promise to protect one another? A word that no matter what they would love one another? Alex was curious as to how far these siblings would go for each other. If it was her, nothing would stop her from keeping Jeremy or Elena safe.

"It means that we will always stand by one another through everything." Elijah smiled as he spoke. But it didn't last, the smile turned into a grimace. "I have told myself that every single thing I have does is to honour that pledge; not everything was, somethings were selfish, but I never claimed to be perfect." He seemed to content.

The dread in her stomach made it seem impossible for her to ever get to that point. Alex wished that she was able to just let it go, accept that what was done was done. But she had killed someone. "You have had a thousand years to come accept what you have done, I only have eighty years, if I'm lucky."

"Exactly, so why waste your tears on something that you can't change and wasn't your fault."

Alex shook her head and pushed herself up. She stood on the barrier and said, "I'm still no better than a vampire."

"Maybe you never were." Elijah shrugged and followed suit. He stood up and looked down at her. "Vampires aren't so different from everyone else. Werewolves, witches, humans. We just sit at the top of the food chain."

Alex frowned. "Now, I don't know if I should be offended."

Elijah smirked and let a soft chuckle fall out. "Has anyone ever told you that you are a lot like Nadia."

"No, no one." Elijah's comment filled her with pride. No one ever spoke of her family, her grandmother most of all. It helped her feel closer to them knowing that she was like them in some way.

Elijah said, "She had the same passion and confidence about her. Scared of no one and wanted to help everyone." He stepped off the barrier and landed gracefully on the road. He held out his hand to help Alex down. She took the hand without complaint and hopped down. "Nadia cared for everyone. Vampire, human, alike."

"Did you love her?" Alex asked. It was a bold question. But the fondness in his voice every time he spoke about Nadia showed the connection he had with her.

Elijah nodded. "I did. Not romantically, she was probably the one person who I could have ever considered my best friend."

"You said she saved your life?"

Again, he nodded. "Yes. But that is a story for another day. For now, remember what I have told you. Go home, rest. And tomorrow we will need to come up with a new plan."

Alex sighed and nodded. "Be careful," she said. "Klaus got away, and he might still be in Alaric's body. Either way, he knows your against him."

Elijah nodded. "I will."

Alex watched as he disappeared into the darkness. The dread she had felt when she arrived at the bridge was still present and thumping inside her. It was contained and Alex felt comfortable enough to deal with it. Elijah's words had been surprising, comforting and confusing. Never had Alex ever considered that a vampire, let alone, an original vampire, would be of comfort to her.

Whatever had happened between them, the affection he had shown her as they sat on the bridge, the comforting words, it couldn't be what she focused on. It was confusion and stranger. What she needed to do was find Klaus and stop him. It would give her something to focus on, rather than whatever had just happened.