Chapter 13: All I Am
Hi lovliesss!! Hope you're all well! I thought I'd update ASAP after that horrible cliffhanger, hahahaha sorry!! Thanks for the sweet reviews. You probably hate me now but you'll love me at the end. Promiseeee. Anyways enjoy darlings and Happy PADDYS day from Ireland!!
(P.s. I changed the name of my last chapter (benzodiazepines) to soulmates, so let me know which one you all liked better xox)
"Shit, Erin." Jay scrambled out of the bed, covering himself with the blanket. Erin just stared at the pair in the bed. She'd recognise that blonde hair anywhere. "Erin."
"I should leave." Erin reached for a bag a went to the clean laundry basket and put some clothes into it as she was not going in that room. She subconsciously ran into the nursery and put a baby grow or two in. "Sorry." She muttered as she walked past him. Why was she apologising?
"Erin it was a mistake, stop being like this!"
"A mistake?" Erin turned around eyed Jay. "A MISTAKE!?"
"Erin-"
"I tried to play Miss Nice with you and it clearly didn't work, Jay. So I am giving you an option. This kid will not be a yearly subscription. You will not come in and out as you please, I have no problem being a single mom. You can break up with me if you like, we are not in any kind of subscription but your daughter is different. It's her or whatever shit you've been doing."
"You're being a hypocrite." He had a point. Screaming at him for getting high was kind of unfair, but they had a kid on the way. They weren't just work partners anymore. "So what if I did a few things, didn't come home a couple of times?"
"No Jay, no. I have spent 5 months forming this little girls heart and I will spend 4 more, that's 9 months Jay. 9 MONTHS!!" She got all up in his face. "And I will not let you break it in 9 seconds Jay. I have been there, done that and I will not let my daughter sit up all hours of the night crying for her daddy to come home to her. And I'm bring a hypocrite because I have too, Jay."
"You know what? Fine. Go be a single mom if you want!" Jay mocked. "I'm not even put out for this crap anyways."
Erins heart just broke. He didn't want her. He didn't want their baby.
What had just happened?
This is not Jay.
This was never him.
This PTSD was changing him.
And she didn't know how to deal with it.
How to be there for him.
She just turned and left. She never wanted to see Jay Halstead again.
"You okay, baby?" Allie came out of the room in her lingerie. "Come on back to the room." Allie pulled Jay back into the bedroom for round two when he didn't answer.
This was bad.
Really bad.
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Lindsay sat in the booth of a little diner downtown. She had stopped to get something to eat since she had nowhere else's to go. She wondered what Jay was doing right now. 'Allie probably.' She thought. She wondered why is said the things he said, if he really meant it.
She was drawn out of her thoughts when she heard the familiar voice of Kelly Severide call her name.
"Lindsay, hey. You okay?" Kelly asked, coming over to her seat. "Hey, whats up?" He sat down across from her, he wiped her tears that had fallen onto her cheeks. "Erin what's wrong." He gently asked.
Her and Kelly had dated for a short time a few years back. But at the end of the day, they just didn't love each other like that. Erin moved onto Jay while Kelly was now dating Stella, but the two were still thick as thieves. They even met up every now and again for dinner or a drink and just caught up as they cared a lot about each other.
Erin just shook her head as Kelly put his hands over hers. "It's silly."
"If you're crying in a diner while you're supposed to be at work. There's something wrong." Kelly laughed, causing Erin to crack a small smile. "Is the baby okay?"
Erin suddenly felt bad that Kelly suspected something happened to the baby. When Kelly found out she was pregnant he was really excited and couldn't wait to be 'fun uncle Kelly.'
"No, no. Don't worry, she's okay. Her feet are currently tap dancing in my ribs." Erin laughed.
Kelly smiled and nodded. "Then what's up?"
Erin looked at him and sighed, Kelly seeing how hesitant she was.
"Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?"
Erin nodded. She has told Kelly a lot of personal things as has he. She knew she could trust him. "It's Jay."
"What happened?"
"His father came back. He went mad. Fell back in with his ptsd, and I-I don't know what to do." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "He did some drugs, got drunk, didn't come home." Then she looked down at the ground. "Cheated."
"Er." Kelly comforted. He couldn't believe what Erin was telling him.
"Kelly, you know my drug history and now Jay too? My kid can't be raised by two addicts."
"Hey. Don't say that. You and Halstead are two of the strongest people I know. This little woman is very lucky." He indicated to her stomach. "Listen, I must say, Halstead and drugs? I'm a bit surprised. But after I give him a little lecture for cheating. He has a big ass family behind him."
Erin nodded. They did. They had a really big family that consisted of cops, firefighters, paramedics, doctors and nurses. And they would be here for them through anything.
"Did he really cheat? Doesn't sound like him."
"Yeah. It's embarrassing." Erin laughed. "She's this blonde skinny lawyer and I'm just a useless fat pregnant detective." She laughed, wiping more tears.
"No. Don't say that. You are an amazing, beautiful, very intelligent mama detective."
"I love you, you know that Kel?" Erin laughed.
"C'mere." Kelly enveloped her in a hug. "I am right here." He felt Erin start to sob in his arms.
"I'm sorry." She lifted her head and ignored the few tears still hitting her cheeks.
"Let me walk you to your car."
Kelly walked her to her car. "You can come back to 51 if you want. Gabby and Sylvie will be there." Kelly offered, honestly wanting to keep an eye on her.
"No, it's good. I should probably go to the district."
"Right, promise you'll call me later on."
"Yeah, I will." They shared another hug.
"Love you." Kelly placed a kiss on her head.
"You too." Erin smiled, waving to Kelly as she got into her car and drove off.
Kelly was right.
They'd get through this with their family by their side.
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Erin sat outside Hanks house in her warm car. The heavy rain pelted against the car window. She almost didn't want to leave it, just stay in there forever.
It was late. Nearly 9pm. She left her and Jays apartment pretty early this morning. Instead of going by the district or going to Hanks house, she just spent the day driving around the city, besides when she bumped into Kelly this morning. She even had an appointment at Med that she half expected Jay to show up at. But of course, he didn't.
She knew she couldn't go back to that apartment. Seeing the apartment in that state petrified her. He wasn't even alone in the apartment for an hour before it had drugs,drinks and blonde women in it.
She slowly got out of her car and opened the back door and took out the overnight bag she packed. She shut the door and began to walk up to the door.
When she got up to the porch, she gently knocked on the door and suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her.
She's stayed in Hanks hundreds of times. Obviously, she lived with him for years. And even afterwards she'd stay with him during tough cases or during holidays, still did sometimes, but it has obviously decreased with Jay in the picture. But now, here she was, a detective, soon to be mom, 32 year old woman, asking her dad if she can stay with him all because of a man.
How could she let herself sink so low?
"Erin."
She was brought from her thoughts, but instead of Hank at the door it was Al.
"You okay? Come in, it's raining kid."
Something just snapped in her. It brought her back to her teen years. God awful men, abusing her physically, mentally. But then suddenly have that wash over comfort of Hank and Alvin. Them two were always there for her, taking care of her. Being a safe haven to fall back on and just feeling that safe haven-homey feeling was comfortable and sedimental. She practically fell into Al's arms, Hank suddenly appearing in the doorway too.
"Hey kid, what's up?" Al pulled her inside to the hallway, not letting her go from his arms.
"He-he does-doesn't wan-want us." Erin managed through sobs.
"What?" Voight asked, barely understanding what the young woman was trying to say.
"Erin you're soaking." Al noticed. He began to take her jacket off and then her beanie.
After a few more minutes of Hank and Al comforting her, Hank finally spoke.
"Go take a shower, come back down and we can talk, okay? I'll order you something to eat."
Erin just nodded and gave her best attempt of a smile. She took her muddy shoes off and waddled her way up the stairs, straight up to the bathroom.
She eyed pictures that were on the wall from when she was a teenager and wished to go back to those simpler times.
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'Mouse, man I screwed up." Jay sighed as he opened the door to his friend.
"You're a fucking idiot, mate." Mouse shouted, storming into Jay and Erins apartment. "She's pregnant with your kid! Your kid, Jay! And you could of potentially impregnated another woman. Allie for that matter!"
"Oh God." Jay ran at hand through his hair and plopped down on the chair.
"Please tell me you used protection Halstead." Mouse murmured, getting angry.
Mouse loved Jay. He really did. Jay was the reason why Mouse had such a great life right now. But God did he loved Erin and that baby like family. And he would not settle for the way Jays been acting recently.
"Em- I- I don't know." Jay muttered, trying to remember the events from a few moments ago. "God dammit!!!" He stood up and kicked the coffee table. "I told her I wasn't ready."
"Ready for what?" Mouse asked, dreading the answer he knew was coming.
"For her, the baby." He muttered. "I don't even know." He plopped back down on the chair, tears brimming in his eyes.
"Jay..." Mouse sighed, his acknowledgment that Jay had seriously fucked up, evident in his voice.
"Her face. Mouse I have never see her face like that. She wasn't pissed or sad or disappointed. She just looked- looked finished. Fed up. I mean every single man in her life, bar Hank has just walked all over her and- and she just looked at me like I was just another to add to the list."
"You messed up big time man. Did you go to her appointment today?" Mouse was pretty up to date with Erins schedule. With Erin being in the bullpen all day and Mouse being there when the team were out in the field, the two got really close.
"Shit."
"Do you know where she is now?"
"Hailey's, Kim's?, Hanks probably. But she won't want to see me. I already tried calling her."
"Can't blame her." Mouse muttered. "I meant I'll call them. Make sure she is there."
"Yeah. Thanks man."
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"Yeah, she's here Mouse. Thanks for checking." Hank hung up his phone and slid it back into his pocket. Al gave him the 'what was that about look?'
"Mouse wanted to make sure Erin was okay after the whole thing with Halstead. Apparently he's with him now, him and Lindsay had a row."
"Probably why she said he didn't want her."
"I'll kill him Alvin." Hank started to grow pissed.
"I know you will. But whatever happened with them two, she doesn't need you acting like a hooligan. Erin comes first. Halstead later."
"Wise Alvin." Hank murmered, sipping his burbon. Suddenly the door rang.
"I'll get it." Al said.
"Erin! Your dinners here!" Hank called from the bottom of the stairs. While Alvin payed for the food, Hank then went into the kitchen and got the necessities they needed for dinner and set the table. "Erin!"
"One minute!" Erin called from her old bedroom upstairs.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She had thrown on some old sweats and a tank top she still kept at Voights, which were obviously a little tight with the expanding bump. Her hair fell down her shoulders, water droplets still falling from it. She stood up and put the fluffy pink housecoat that still hung on the door of her old room. She took one last look at herself, making sure her eyes weren't still red from the crying she definitely did in the shower. And with that, waddled down the stairs.
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The 3 ate in complete silence.
"Erin you've barely ate." Hank noted.
Normally Erin could wolf down anything, especially now that she was eating for two. But she barely ate any of her Chinese food.
"Not hungry." She murmered as she played with her food with her fork.
"You may not be-" Al took a bite of his food. "But that baby sure is."
With that in consideration, Lindsay agreed to finish her food.
After dinner, Erin went into the living room while Hank and Al cleaned up. She knew she had to come clean about everything going on.
The drugs.
The drinking.
Not coming home.
Him cheating on her.
Him not wanting to be a father.
And well that she was practically homeless.
"So, you gonna tell us what's wrong with you and Halstead?" Hank asked, sitting beside her on the chair, Al in the armchair across from them.
"Why you getting upset kiddo?" Al asked when he saw a tear roll down her face, her wipping it away just as fast.
"Jay." She sighed. "He's a mess."
"How?" The men said in union.
Erin sighed. She was just going to come out with it all.
"When he came back from the trip with his dad, he was- messy. His father was was still being a horrible man. The night we decorated the nursery, you know he went to his army buddies house."
"The one who killed himself and his family." Al stated.
Erin nodded. "After that he just stopped coming home. He stayed out at night and drank. That night he was staying at Mouses, yeah bullshit." Erin sarcastically laughed. "He went out and got high. Xanax. Came stumbling in the door well after midnight. Didn't know what he was doing. I called Will and Mouse, next thing we know, Jays gone. Then we find him in the bullpen. The whole nightmare freak out happened."
Hank shook his head. Yes, Jay was struggling, but what he put Erin through in just a few short days, really really pissed him off. "Unbelievable."
Erin was his girl.
"What was your row about today?" Al asked, sensing a little tension.
Erin laughed sarcastically. "That's the best part." She tried to say as strong as possible. She knew she needed a little comfort if she would get through this without breaking down, so she laid her head on Hanks shoulder, wiping a few stray tears. Hank placing a gentle, encouraging kiss on her still damp hair.
"I came into the apartment. He wasn't even alone for an hour. There was a line of coke on the coffee table."
"What? Halstead? Xanax is one thing, but cocaine?" Al asked.
"You think that's bad? There was a needle in the baby's room." She started to get upset. "I walked into the bedroom and-and he was just there having sex."
"The little bastard." Hank pulled Erin closer.
"He said he wasn't ready."
"He's not going to be ready for the wrath that is hurting you." Hank shouted.
"Hank." Erin cried, sitting up and turning to look at him. "If he doesn't want to be a part of her life, that's his choice. I don't care. I'll raise her. But I will not have him checking in and out whenever he pleases. He's either in 100% or out 100%."
"I know but-" Hank started.
"What?! You think I can't raise a kid!?" She stood up and started to pace. The stress of the day finally coming out. "Because I can! I can be a cop and a single mom. No problem." She then went over to the drink of burbon Al had in his hand and took a chug of it, but immediately spat it back out into the glass. "Why do I always do that when I'm pregnant?!" She placed the glass back in Al's hand and went and over to clear her mouth of the alcohol with her glass of water. "Sorry Al." She muttered, Al sarcastically raising the burbon-spit drink.
Hank smiled and shook his head. "I know you can raise a kid." He got up and put his hands on her shoulders. "But he can't treat you, or the kid like that."
"I'll get over it. I always do."
Hank and Al's heart broke. It was true. Really was. And she always had to.
"Anyways." She wiped her tears. "Can I stay? Well we stay?" She smiled, looking at her hand covering her bump. "I just can't go home. Not right now."
"Of course. You never have to ask." Hank smiled.
"Right I'm going to head to bed." She laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Night." She enveloped Voight in a bear hug, him placing another kiss on her hair. "Night Al." She bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Sorry about the drink." She smiled.
"No worries, night kiddo."
And with that she waddled her way upstairs.
"Breathe Hank." Al had to remind his oldest friend, knowing that Erin was now safe upstairs, he could finally get angry.
"That bloody bastard!" He muttered in a harsh tone. "I swear when I get my bloody hands on-"
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Hank went to answer it, Al
sighing and rubbing his face.
"You little shit!!!" Al heard Voight scream. He ran out into the hallway and saw Hank literally strangling Jay.
"He-y!" Jay tried to shout.
"Hank." Al warned, and grabbed him off of Jay. "Erins upstairs, don't let her hear this. She doesn't need anymore stress." He purposely eyed Jay.
"Listen." Jay began. "I was high."
"That's your excuse?" Hank screamed.
The rain was currently still pouring and the 3 men were getting soaked.
"Let's go inside." Al suggested.
"He's not coming in my home! He will go nowhere near Erin and my grandkid!" Hank shouted.
"Hey! That's my girlfriend and my kid!" Jay defended.
"Funny. A few hours ago you didn't want them."
"I was high!!!"
"Right let's bring this inside. And use your inside voices please." Al pushed the two men inside. "Erin is asleep."
"Can I see her?" Jay asked.
"No." The men said in union.
"We're talking about you Halstead." Al said, the men all sitting down in the living room. This would be a long ass night.
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When Lindsay woke up the next morning, her first thought was Jay.
She hated waking up to an empty bed. She hated being separated from him. She hated that he was hurting and that she couldn't do anything about it. She hated that life still loved to throw curveballs at her.
She sat up and the first thing she saw was her baby bump. Her hand was resting gently on top of it and she couldn't believe that in 15 weeks her daughter would be here with them. She still couldn't get over the fact that at some point, she didn't want her. She'd never forgive herself for that.
"Hi baby girl, it's your mama." She cooed at her bump, rubbing her hand over her tummy. "I can't wait to meet you in a little bit. But I have to tell you that it might just be us two for a little bit. I mean we won't be completely alone. You have all your aunts and uncles. Grandpa Hank cannot wait to meet you. We all love you so much, baby. And I promise I'm going to take such good care of you. And I will do everything I can to make sure your daddy comes back to us. Because I may not act like it. But I need him and so do you." Erin smiled and wiped a few kiss tears from her eyes.
Every morning and night since finding out she was pregnant, she and Jay would talk to the baby, even playing some soft, gentle music. But here she was, all alone, promising her baby girl to be strong for her.
She had to be.
She pulled herself out of bed and waddled to the bathroom. She instantly smelt her favorite food. Homemade blueberry pancakes. She went and brushed her tea, washed her face and then put some slippers on and waddled down the stairs.
She checked her phone. 9:34am. 'Can't remember that last time I slept that long.' She thought, smiling at how she should be grateful as once the baby came, she'd be getting 0 hours of sleep.
"Hank." She called as she waddled the hallway into the kitchen. "Morning-" She stooped immediately when she saw who was sitting at the breakfast counter, cup of black coffee in hand.
"You have some nerve coming here Jay." She eyed Jay.
What in the world was he doing here?
She tried to think of her chat with Kelly yesterday, but she was honestly pissed.
"Erin-" Hank said, standing at the stove.
"This is unbelievable." She pushed past the two men, going to sit at the kitchen table, them both being able to face her. "This is why men's pockets are so deep. All the audacity that they carry." Erin just had to put a little sarcastic comment in there.
"Erin." Hank warned, placing her breakfast in front of her, sitting across from her.
"Why are you siding with him!? Last night I could of sworn you were going to kill him."
"Erin just listen to him." Hank sighed.
"Go ahead. I don't have all day." Erin spat, turning to look at Jay.
"Erin, I have been nothing but a dick to you this entire pregnancy-"
"Jayyy." She interrupted. "Do you really want to do this again? Because I remember not so long ago when you forgot to tell me you were married, and you delivered that big speech about how much of a dick you were, blah blah. I do not care."
"Erin listen, I've never been able to admit that I need help. But you have. Because you're strong. Stronger than me. And I don't know how you did it because-" he started to get emotional. "When I came back from overseas, my mom was dead, dad was a deadbeat, me and Will had an awful relationship and my friends from the army were taking their own lives left right and centre. And I fell in bad with some people. I swear to you, I've never used anything stronger than benzodiazepines. And I don't know, everything with dad and me and Will fighting and Dom killing himself. I felt guilty. Horrible. Brought up memories, memories of women and children dying from the war when I saw Emma and Kara. So I took the pills again because I remembered how well they numbed everything. I didn't want you to hurt. Hurting you is the biggest fear I have. Disappointing you. Because when I tell you, you this kid mean everything to me. I mean it. You are all I am, Er."
Erin wiped the lose tears that had fallen from her eyes, only now noticing that Hank had left the couple alone.
"What about the coke and heroin? The needles was in the baby's room!" She cried.
"I swear to you, they were Allies. She was at the Marine bar that I got the stuff from. I don't know why, she has no relation, but she was. And I took her home, also I don't know why."
"To have sex behind your pregnant girlfriends back maybe?"
Jay rubbed his face and moved closer to her. Vacating the seat across from her. Jay completely shocked when she didn't move or flinch when he put his hand over hers.
"I love you. I love you. You, Erin. No one else. And nothing I can do or say can remotely forgive what I did."
"Get help."
"What?"
"I want you to get help. I know first hand about drug addictions and I'm not bringing my kid up around it. And that goes for both of us."
"He is." Hank appeared from doorway. "Support group for veterans."
"Good."
"I am sorry Erin." Jay apologised.
"I know you are."
A few moments of silence passed when Erin finally spoke.
"Do you want this?"
"I apologized."
"That's not what I asked. Do you want to be a dad?"
"Of course I do, Erin."
"Just like that?"
"What?"
"A few hours ago you had doubts. I want you to think about this, Jay. Think about the consequences. This isn't just changing job or moving into a new apartment. This is a baby. I already told you, this baby is not a seasonal thing."
"Er-" Jay began.
"Go home. I can tell you're hungover, go sober up. Shower. Sleep. I'll be home after work. Then we can talk." She then stood up and took the plate of food Hank made her and covered it up. "I'm going to go get ready. Okay?". She even went up and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."
Jay didn't say anything. Just stared at his unbelievably amazing girl. Maybe girl.
"You got a good one with her." Hank brought Jay from his thoughts.
"Yeah and I screwed up massively." Jay sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.
"Halstead if I can forgive you, anyone can."
"It's not that easy."
"Jay. She wants you to get help. Because she loves you. And you love her. When she fell down that rabbit hole after Nadia, who got her out? You did, Jay. And yeah, maybe you could of had your midlife crisis when she wasn't 5 months pregnant with your daughter, but after everything Erins been through. Both of yous. Yous need to move on and start your lives as a family."
"I told her I didn't want a family with her though!" Jay grew irratated.
"Jay I told you. Get your help. She'll understand. She's needed help before too."
"Yeah." He sighed.
Hank then looked at his phone. "God she takes ages to get ready."
"That she does." Jay laughed. "I should probably get home then. Clean up."
Hank nodded and clapped his back as the pair walked to the door. "See ya, Halstead. And please for the love of God, mind yourself."
"I will, Sir." And with that he went and hoped back in his car.
'Did I seriously just crash in Hank Voights house?' Jay shivered. Never ever again.
"Erin! Let's go!!"
"Do you think I should get him a dog?" Erin asked from the top of the stairs.
"Excuse me?" Hank asked.
"I should get Jay a dog."
"No you shouldn't."
"Why?" Lindsay asked, walking down the stairs.
"Because you both work demanding jobs and don't have time for a dog, may I remind you, you're having a kid."
"I know but-" Erin started as they hoped in Hanks car.
"Erin where in the world do these ideas come from!" Hank laughed.
"I think it'd be good for him."
"Erin."
"I'm getting a dog."
"Of course you are." Hank shook his head.
That woman was a handful.
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"You're going to have to explain that again." Hailey said.
Erin, Kim and Hailey were currently out at lunch as intelligence had no new cases. Erin deciding to finally come clean with her besties.
"He's going to get help, he'll be okay." Erin sighed, sipping her drink. "Some veteran support thing. His dad really messed with him. Plus I'm getting him a dog."
"A dog?" Hailey laughed.
"Yes." Erin took a bite of her food.
"Why?" Hailey scrunched her brows. A dog? Seriously?
"Erin, he had a sex with another girl! How are you so calm?" Kim asked, perplexed. "You're pregnant! And talking about getting a dog!"
"He needs help. And he's going to get it." Erin told them. "And I'm very aware I'm pregnant, Kimberly."
"I'd be pissed." Hailey shrugged.
"You should totally go hookup with Adam." Kim laughed. "I mean me and Hailey have, why not you?"
"I would never do that, not again." Erin laughed, totally unaware what she just spilled.
"What?" The two girls asked in union.
Erin realized what she just said and covered her mouth. "Shit."
"You had sex with Adam?!" Kim nearly screamed the restaurant down.
"Kim!!!" Erin slapped her friend. "And no not sex per day, more just-"
"Just what?!" Hailey couldn't stop laughing.
Typical Adam Ruzek. Sex with every girl in the unit. Why is anyone shocked?
"It was like a month after he joined intelligence. We stayed in Molly's after the team went home, got a little too drunk. And then..."
"Then..." the girls laughed.
"Adam had some weed."
"Weed!?" Kim questioned.
"Oh cmon, it's Adam, he was a few months out of the acedemy. We were both stupid and drunk." She smiled. "But anyways we smoked it on the roof of his car at like 3 in the morning. It was like January and we all know, Chicago January's are cold, so one thing led to another. Suddenly we were in his car, clothes were shed, there was kissing and some other stuff but we stopped before it led to sex."
"Just stopped? I mean you were both high and drunk." Hailey laughed, not believing it.
"Well... someone saw us and knocked on the window and told us that Adam's ass wasn't an attractive thing to look at or hear."
"Wow." The girls shook their head.
"I swear, if this leaves us 3 I will kill yous." Erin warned.
"Your secret is safe with us girlfriend, but we stayed in your house for 2 weeks and you never told us!" Kim laughed. "I mean we spilled deep goss during does days."
"Because it's Adam." Hailey muttered, sipping her drink, answering for Erin. Erin just pointing her hands in Upton's direction, indicating she was right.
"Does Jay know?" Kim asked.
"God no."
"Lindsay you naught woman!" Hailey giggled.
"You's are bitches." Erin smiled. "But I still love yous."
"And we love you." Hailey winked.
"A toast?" Kim suggested, jokingly raising her glass of water. "To Halsteads recovery and to Erin and Adam."
The girls just burst out laughing. Erin was so grateful to have girlfriends to make her forget all of her problems.
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"So you's are gonna like talk tonight?" Will asked.
Him and Jay were currently in the apartment, Will sipping a beer, Jay a water.
"Yep."
"You got lucky with her. You had sex with some 'blonde beach babe barbie doll' a few hours ago and she's willing to move ahead."
"I know. You don't need to see a song about it." Jay sighed, Will just rolling his eyes in response. "Plus Allie is not a 'blonde beach babe barbie doll.' She's a horrible, manipulative witch."
"Since when does Allie do drugs- actually you for that matter?"
"Can we not talk about this?"
"This is probably bringing up a lot from Afghanistan-"
"Will. I said no."
"Okayyy."
After a few moments Will spoke again.
"The nursery is cute."
"Yeah."
"You's pick a name out?"
"That's another thing to add to the list." Jay laughed, shaking his head. "She's been a boss this whole pregnancy. No drugs, coffee. Seriously she eats like a vegan." Jay smiled at his mamabear girl.
"Yeah, Nat was telling me. Refused any pain medication and planning for a natural birth. Good luck. But hey, if anyone can do it-" Will began.
"It's Erin." Jay finished.
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Jay looked at the message Erin just sent him. She'd be home in 5 minutes and he was lowkey nervous. Will had just left and was just putting everything away from their dinner when Jay heard her keys in the door.
When we went out to greet her, he was shocked to see she wasn't alone.
"Erin-"
"This is Milo." She replied happily.
Jay looked at the dog. He was a black Labrador Retriever, but from the size of him, he still looked like a puppy. His name obviously being Milo. Jay also saw that he was wearing that bright yellow strap that all service dogs wore.
"And what's Milo doing here?" Jay smiled awkwardly.
"Well, he sort of lives here now."
"Erin, we can't have a pet."
"Yes we can. He's a service pet. Platt helped me pick one out. He's for you."
Jay just looked at her. She was honestly crazy. Literally crazy but he couldn't help but smile. She wasn't really an animal person, but here she was, getting him a dog.
"It helps with your PTSD. He'll know when you're having a panic attack or a bad dream. He can alert someone or just be there for you. They're amazing Jay."
"Wow." Jay went over and bent down beside Milo. "Hey buddy." Milo immediately jumping into his new owner.
"Erin we can't keep him though."
"Well too bad. We are."
"Erin how do we give him the attention he deserves."
"Jay. I didn't buy a dog for the lols. This is for you. He will help you get better. Plus he's a service dog. He can go anywhere with you and he's trained to be alone for hours. It'll be okay. This is just another part of your recovery."
"You're amazing. And I'm sorry for the way I treated you lately." Milo must've noticed Jays change in demeanor and immediately started to nuzzle into him, providing him as much comfort.
"I love you. And taking you for getting the help." Erin bent down in front of him, rubbing her hand over Milo.
"When's your first meeting?"
"Tomorrow, actually."
"I'm happy to hear that."
"Come here." Jay sat up and went to the chair, Milo immediately following.
Jay sat down and pulled her into his lap and turned the telly on, Milo standing gaurd.
"Aw we've to let him up, babe." Erin laughed.
"On the chair, seriously Er?"
"It's fine, it's leather. Here boy." Erin patted the chair.
Milo immediately jumping up to sit in their laps.
One day at a time it would all get easier.
With time.
With family.
With patience.
With a whole lot of love.
Seeeee! All is well in Chicago! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
Also what do you think of the whole Kelly/Erin thing? I will alwayssss stan Linstead but I love Kelly and Erin together but their friendship is even cuter even though we didn't see it much on the shows.
Also the whole thing with Adam? I couldn't help it. It was too hilarious. So Adam tbh.
So anyways yes, Jay is okay! He will be getting the help he needs. Also any names idea for baby H? Milos sis needs a name! (I couldn't help but throw a dog in the mix lmao dunno how I'll make it work but whatevsss)
Anyways hope you all enjoyed and are all staying safe and being kind!
All my love x
