After a long while passed, I teleported to Sakura's side. "What'd I miss?"
She jumped before swatting my head. "Get back to the medical bay right now!"
"But they healed me!" I whined as I gave up control over the body.
Fucking finally, Maso grumbled as he took the reigns.
"I don't care! You need your rest!" She yelled at me.
"Nu-uh. I've slept for two days straight. I don't need more rest," I sassed, my hands on my hips.
My little sis growled at me while shaking her fist.
"How dare you?!" Gai-sensei yelled as he suddenly punched me into the wall.
Oh, this is the shit, I thought as pleasure ran down my spine. I peeled myself from the wall and looked back at him with slight confusion. "What'd I do?"
"You not only did the primary lotus, but you also did the reversal! You know you're not allowed!" Gai-sensei scolded, his hands on his hips.
"Actually, you only said I can't attempt it again. You never said anything about pulling the moves off," I corrected, earning another punch, that one sending me just a bit further than the last. I quickly returned to the man and listened to his scoldings.
"You aren't supposed to do anything with those techniques, and you're also not supposed to use the hachimon! Did you forget about last time?!" The man with rather well-defined cheekbones continued.
"No. But since I took my seals off, I'm all clear," I said, making him pause for a split-second in confusion. "Long story. Please continue, Gai-sensei."
"I can't forgive your actions, Ren!" He announced.
"Oh, right!" I exclaimed before holding up my index finger. I looked past him and saw that Kakashi-sensei was gone with Uchiha. I also saw that Orochimaru was nowhere to be seen, so I rushed over to Hokage-sama. "Hey, old man."
"Not now, brat," Anko said as she stepped into my path.
"Yes right fucking now. Where did Orochimaru go?" I hissed softly at her, making her click her teeth.
"We don't know. It's none of your concern anyway. We took it over," she said before motioning for me to go back.
"How could you say that? The fucker was literally right there," I whispered while motioning to where the Otogakure sensei was just previously standing.
"What?" Anko asked as her brown eyes widened.
I stared at her blankly before angrily whispering, "Are you fucking telling me you dickheads didn't realize the snake was right there?!"
"You were probably mistaken," she replied, getting herself under control.
"Yeah, because I could mistake the person I put a fucking chakra seal on," I snapped, only for Hokage-sama to step in.
"Let's calm down. You're 100% sure?" Hokage-sama asked me seriously.
"I'm willing to bet all the money I own on it," I replied truthfully, making his eyes darken. "Where are Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke? Orochimaru may have gone after them."
The old man gave a small sigh. "Kakashi took Sasuke to put a seal-"
I teleported to Duckass immediately and got ready to pull out a kunai. I saw the darkness of the room before spotting the snake smirking at Kakashi-sensei.
"Ah, speaking of which..." Orochimaru trailed off as his eyes landed on me.
"You spoke of the devil, and now he's here," I stated as my eyes narrowed, my teeth barred angrily.
Kakashi-sensei immediately grabbed me and pulled me behind him. "You're not getting either of them."
"Oh, I only intend on gaining the Uchiha blood. I find the other boy more as a potential experiment really," Orochimaru stated, making a small shiver run up my spine.
Kakashi-sensei's grip on me tightened as his muscles tensed up even more. He was ready to spring into action should Orochimaru decide to attack.
"Hey, boy, have you ever heard of mokuton?" Orochimaru questioned, completely ignoring my teacher's presence.
I narrowed my eyes at the snake as I peeked around my sensei. "Of course. Shodai Hokage-sama was an expert at it as the Senju blood ran through his veins. But my technique has nothing to do with their clan! I don't have any Senju blood!"
"How very interesting..." The yellow-eyed man mused before chuckling. "It appears I have to do some research on you."
I held up a middle finger. "Fuck yourself."
Kakashi-sensei shoved my hand down before pushing him behind me once again.
I gave an annoyed sigh before just shoving Kakashi-sensei to the side a bit. I internally cringed when Orochimaru used his paralysis genjutsu on my sensei, but continued forth nonetheless. "Why the fuck are you interested in me?! I have zero interest in you!"
"That's for me to know," he cooed, making me cringe back a bit.
"Okay... Creepy..." I then smirked and put my hands on my hips. "So Kabuto's your little spy, huh?"
"You found out?" Orochimaru asked, his smile becoming just a bit forced.
"That's right. Your paralysis genjutsu... Kabuto really can't pull it off as well as you," I stated as my body posture gave off as much sass as humanly possible. "And that's not adding in the fact that him failing so many times in a row is super fucking suspicious. Then again, he gave himself away when showing us his info cards to help us as the beginning. You wanted Uchiha from the start, right? You used Kabuto to give Duckass here some pointers and help him through the exam, especially when the second part came around. I'm assuming his teammates are also in on it."
"Yes, you're certainly a prodigy," Orochimaru stated while licking his lips.
I chuckled softly before pointing at his face. "That's right. And this prodigy knows you're weak right now."
"Oh?" He asked, amusement clear on his face.
"That's right," I agreed as I crossed my arms. "You can't beat Itachi, so you settled for second best and went after Sasuke. Am I right?"
"Ku ku ku... That theory of yours is very entertaining, however-"
"You can't beat the mangekyō," I interrupted, making him jolt.
"You... know about it, huh?" The sannin asked as his smile showed his frustration.
"Of course I do. I also know Itachi's move set like the back of my hand," I boasted before pointing at my left eye. "Sannin or not, I'm impressed you could handle it."
The man remained silent though the way he glared at me told me all I needed to know.
I gave a small chuckle as I closed my eyes and crossed my arms once again. "Though, since I know all about it, I can also say with great certainty that you're getting weaker. Not only that, but you're using a jutsu that's running out of time, and fast."
"And just how do you know all of that?" Orochimaru growled at me, fury clear in his voice.
"I didn't, but my bluff seemed to work," I answered before opening my eyes. I glared straight into his eyes as I gave a wide smirk. "For a legendary S-Rank criminal, you sure are like putty in my hands. You should remember your place before you anger a manipulative little monster like myself."
The man blinked before his eyes widened in surprise. He suddenly seemed to calm himself down and gave his usual smile. "I'm glad I decided not to kill you. You're definitely proving to be interesting."
I was taken aback and felt a bit hesitant at my next move. I could no longer read his emotions and body language, leaving me in the dark about how I should manipulate him next. "I would say the same thing, but I'd never hold interest in you."
"In due time, I'm sure you will," the snake said, confidence in his voice. "Though before that, I do want to know something from you..."
"And you think I'd actually tell you the truth?" I growled.
"If you know as much about Itachi as you claim to, then explain why he left after killing his clan. Did he really do it just to test his strength, or was there something more?" Orochimaru asked.
Why the fuck would he care? It's not like knowing that will help him, unless... I chuckled softly before shaking my head. "I see, I see... Well, I have just recently discovered something interesting about Itachi in that regard, but I'm not spilling the beans that easily. I'll give you a hint though..." I put my left hand up to my collarbone, my palm hovering over my scar. My right hand, meanwhile, cupped my left elbow. "They say blood is thicker than water, but, in all actuality, the quote is wrong. You see, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. For the sake of that brother's blood, Itachi left behind the water of the womb that connected him to his family, nuclear or otherwise."
"And you're that brother, huh?" Orochimaru questioned, making me deadpan.
"Are you fucking retarded? I was only seven years old. What sane person allows a seven-year-old to convince them to slaughter their entire clan? Man, are you on drugs or what?" I asked the moron before waving him off. "Anyway-"
He blinked a few times before giving a hum. "But that wouldn't explain that particular chakra..."
"What chakra? The only chakra I have is my own," I snapped with narrowed eyes.
Orochimaru gave me a chilling smile, indicating to me that he knew something I didn't.
Kill him.
How?! I internally screeched as I narrowed my eyes at the sannin.
I don't know! Sado screamed back.
"So you don't know everything..." Orochimaru concluded before giving a chuckle. "I wonder how you'll try to figure that out."
Aim for the balls.
That's a really low blow... I thought as I quickly pulled out a kunai. I then quickly teleported to him while swinging my kunai towards an internal organ.
The man dodged back before grabbing ahold of my arm.
"Ren!" Kakashi-sensei yelled before I held up my other hand.
"If you're not looking to use me as a pawn, and if you're not intending on killing me, what purpose do I serve you?" I questioned with narrowed eyes.
"You're going to be a very entertaining experiment for me, as I said earlier," Orochimaru replied as his grip on my arm tightened.
"I'll take a raincheck for never," I stated as panic filled my mind.
"Then how about a bet?" He asked as his smile darkened.
I can't bet with him! I internally screeched. I felt Kakashi-sensei's chakra begin to move before Orochimaru once again paralyzed Kakashi-sensei.
The snake then smiled as he extended his hand out for my left collarbone, only for me to grab it and glare at him fiercely.
"Just tell me that fucking bet or let me go," I snarled as my grip on his wrist tightened, my chakra beginning to leak out as my control had begun to slip.
"I'm willing to bet you'll leave the village soon," Orochimaru replied as that smirk of his widened.
I felt horror bubble to life in my chest. When I had the feeling of not being around much longer...
"You seem like you've already thought of that," he pointed out, making me grit my teeth.
I lowered my head as my teeth went full-on barred. "You think... you're intimidating me? Well then... Let me tell you, here and now, about this thing called being a sibling. I am not going to leave this village any time soon, and I'm sure as hell not going to leave Sakura unless I'm 100% sure it'll end up with her full approval." I lifted my head up and glared dead in his eyes, my anger pretty much exploding at that point. "I'll take that bet, and I'll put my own fucking life in the pot. You're going to lose, Orochimaru, so you best back out while you still have the brain to."
"R-Ren..." Kakashi-sensei gasped.
I tightened my grip on Orochimaru to the point of fracturing the bones that collectively made up his wrist. "Then again, your snake brain must be so fucking small that you couldn't possibly comprehend the meaning of bonds. If there's any need for proof, we can look no further than your own past. You abandoned your teammates, abandoned your village, abandoned those that held their bonds with you dear... Heh. I bet, in just over three year's time, someone is finally going to put you out of your misery."
"As amusing as that'd be, I can already tell you that you're going to lose that bet," Orochimaru replied as he tried to pull his right hand away from my grip.
I used his divided focus to jerk my right hand free from his left hand. I grabbed ahold of his hair, like an asshole, and pulled it towards me. "I never said you'd stay dead, but physically... You're a goner. And I'd go so far as to say that the Uchiha you desire to possess will be the one to end your pathetic excuse of a life."
Someone suddenly wrapped their arms around me and jerked me back, causing my grip to loosen on Orochimaru from the shock of it.
Said snake quickly jumped back, allowing the person who grabbed me to jump back as well, me still in their grasp. The snake glared at me fiercely as he held his right forearm. "You're going to regret this, Haruno Ren."
"The only thing I'll regret is not getting a good punch in before you bite the dust," I growled out.
With gritted teeth, Orochimaru took his leave, his eyes promising that he wasn't done with whatever he was planning.
Kakashi-sensei shook slightly as he pulled me impossibly closer to him. His breath came out in short pants as he put the majority of his weight on me. Of course, the two of us ended up on the floor before he asked, "What were... you thinking...?"
I grit my teeth as I got the majority of my anger under control. "I don't know... I've never been that angry before without someone hurting Sakura pretty bad." I gave a deep sigh before leaning against him, my eyes closing. "When he grabbed me, I just started..." I made a loud noise of frustration, unable to make words out of the emotions I felt.
"We'll talk about it later," Kakashi-sensei mumbled as he dropped his head down on my left shoulder.
I took in a deep breath before finally shoving all of my emotions down. "Right, right. Are you okay? That paralysis genjutsu is pretty bad."
The man tensed up behind me. "You... You also went through it, right?"
"The first time was probably the worst," I mumbled as I remembered being ripped to mere shreds by the wind. I opened my eyes as the feeling of the kunai piercing through my skull sent shivers down my spine. "The second time, I managed to overcome it halfway by a mere fluke. And then Kabuto tried using it on me, but it wasn't nearly as effective as it was when Orochimaru used it."
"I see... In any case, you really need to stop doing such stupid things," Kakashi-sensei scolded before adding softly, probably not realizing he had said it out loud, "You're going to kill me from worry."
"I'm rather impulsive, but I'll get it under control once the chunin exams are over," I promised.
The jônin released a huff of annoyance. "I didn't mean by sealing yourself away, which I still don't approve in the slightest."
"I've gotten everything worked out. There's no need to worry," I assured the man before trying to get up. I failed to get far as Kakashi-sensei's grip tightened. I was pressed tightly against his chest and looked over my shoulder with a raised brow. "Er... Something wrong?"
"I want you to promise me something," Kakashi-sensei stated, causing me to frown.
"I'm not exactly the best with promises..." I said as I looked away, internally cringing at the mere thought of making such a pact.
"I want you to promise me that you'll at least consider some repercussions before you throw yourself into a dangerous situation," the silver-haired man requested.
Yeah... Not gonna happen... I thought as I gave a deep sigh. "I'll try. That's the best I can do."
"I need you to try hard then," he said as he looked at me with pain in his black eye.
I stared silently for a second before making a slightly disgusted face. I actually want to say yes. He's becoming a key player in my everybody. Fuck, how is he becoming an everybody? Just earlier today I said he'd never become close. Why is this happening to me? I'm going through an emotional crisis at the age of 12. What the fuck is wrong with me?
"I see..." Kakashi-sensei mumbled as he released his hold on me. He stood up and turned his back on me, his focus directed at Uchiha.
I began to reach out, but stopped myself short upon feeling a burning sensation in my right arm. I pulled it back to me and moved my arm warmer. I stared down at my bruised skin that was in the shape of the snake's hand. I probably couldn't feel him increase the pressure of his grip over my own adrenaline and anger. This isn't the pleasant kind of hurt, that much is certain.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Kakashi-sensei asked, making me jump slightly. He was standing over me, looking over my shoulder like some kind of creep.
"N-no," I replied as I quickly fixed my arm warmer. "What about you? Did he do anything to you guys before I showed up?"
Kakashi shook his head as he held Uchiha like he was a sack of potatoes. "To be honest, you showed up and escalated things to an alarming height."
"I-I'm sorry," I apologized with a small bow before looking at the seal that was around Uchiha's curse seal. "Hm... That one's the fūja hōin, right? Not to be rude or anything, but how much power did you put in it?"
"For what Orochimaru may have planned...? Even this may not be enough," Kakashi-sensei answered, uncertainty clear in his tone.
I bit my lower lip before nodding. "Okay. I'll look into things on my end and see if there's anything I can do to strengthen it. I suppose I should also ask around about that curse seal too. Maybe I could find a way to remove it in the future. Hm, that'll be a lot of research."
The black-eyed man put his hand on my head, snapping me out of my rambling. "Before any of that, you need to make it through the preliminaries. Gai looked pretty upset with you, so you're going to need to explain things to him thoroughly. Besides, you need to support Sakura right now."
"Of course..." I muttered as I closed my eyes.
Kakashi-sensei ruffled before shunshining us to Konoha's hospital. He handed Uchiha over, demanding that ANBU protection was placed on the duck, before bringing us back to the tower arena.
"Kakashi-sensei! Haruno-kun!" Uzumaki-kun announced as he looked back at us.
"Hey," Kakashi-sensei replied with a mock salute.
"Yo," I said as the same time, avoiding eye-contact with practically everyone.
"What do you mean "hey"?! Kakashi-sensei, how's Sasuke-kun?! Is he alright?!" Sakura asked, completely ignoring my existence.
I pointed over at Gai-sensei before just slipping away, realizing that my presence wouldn't be missed at all. I cleared my throat as I stood next to Gai-sensei, only to be ignored. I looked to Lee-senpai, but quickly realized he was going to ignore me too. "Okay... We're going to have to do this the hard way..."
Tenten-san gave a deep sigh as she moved away, Neji also moving away out of slight respect for my nonverbal request.
"Gai-sensei, Lee-senpai..." I got onto my hands and knees, my head touching the ground as I looked at the floor with a remorseful expression. "I know that you can't possibly forgive the stupid actions of an arrogant fool such as myself. I also know that it will take some time for you two to actually trust me again, but please understand that I acted the way I did for reasons that are confidential until I've been given the okay by Hokage-sama."
Sakura gasped in surprise, making Kakashi and Naruto look at her in confusion. "He's..."
The two followed her gaze and saw Ren giving one of the most sincere bows possible to Gai and Lee.
"I've only seen him to that twice before," Sakura mumbled, catching their attention.
"Really?" Kakashi questioned.
"Yeah. Both times he ended up crying, and... They were both times that he apologized to me," Sakura explained softly, making the jônin's eye narrow slightly.
"What happened?" Naruto asked tactlessly.
"Well, the first time was..." Sakura trailed off as she looked away. She soon looked back at Ren and said, "Um, the second time was when we were both around seven years old, I think. We were visiting him in the hospital-"
"Why was he in the hospital?" The blonde interrupted rudely.
The girl gained an irked look before replying, "Because he was found unconscious in the middle of the street by the village gates the previous night. Now would you let me finish?"
"S-sorry," The kyūbi host apologized.
Sakura cleared her throat before looking at her brother once again. "When we got to his room, he suddenly bowed down at my feet. He apologized and made me the one promise he hasn't broken."
"What do you mean by that?" Kakashi questioned.
The girl rubbed the back of her neck with a slightly unsure expression. "Well... Ren has always been bad at keeping promises. He typically doesn't last more than a week without breaking one. But that promise..."
"What was it?" The silver-haired man pressed.
"Ren promised that he'd do everything he could to make, and keep, me happy." Sakura looked down at the ground as she allowed details about the memory to fill up her mind. "It came out of nowhere really. We hadn't even said anything when he threw himself at the ground. He broke down crying and wouldn't stop no matter what we said. He kept insisting upon me accepting that promise, and he's kept it ever since."
"You said it was when you were seven, right?" Kakashi questioned, earning a nod and a confused expression. That'd place it around the time Itachi left. If what Ren said was true about him meeting Itachi on the night he killed his clan, something more must have happened. If it honestly effected Ren that badly, Itachi probably did something more than that carving.
"Is something wrong, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura inquired, snapping the man from his thoughts.
"No, not really. Your brother must have a special place in his heart for those two if he's willing to bow down like that, right?" The sharingan-wielder asked.
"No... During those two times, what Ren was like..." Sakura lifted her head up before looking Kakashi dead in the eyes. "This isn't out of sadness. If you look at the way Ren's holding himself, then it's clear he really respects those two. He's apologizing like that because he honestly means it and wants those two to know that he means it. I believe that is what Ren's goal is."
Kakashi blinked a few times in surprise before looking over at his amber-eyed student. He stared at Ren for a moment, and then everything became clear to him. Sakura is right. He wants to convey his message with the utmost sincerity. But if that is the case, then all the other times he's apologized so far... Was he not actually sorry, or is this something that means a lot to him? Just how connected are Gai's team and my student?
And of course, Naruto just stood there in baffled, the majority of the conversation flying over his head as he stared at Ren with confusion all over his face.
Lee-senpai was the first to break. He gave a deep sigh before kneeling down. "Is it really that bad, Ren-kun?"
"It's a matter of national security, so yes, it's really that bad," I said as I kept my eyes directed at the floor.
Gai-sensei gave a rather annoyed sigh as he finally stopped giving the silent treatment. "Once you're allowed to talk about it, I want you to explain everything."
"Of course," I said before Lee-senpai put his hand on my shoulder.
"We were worried, you know," the green-clad boy said softly. "The last time you tried the primary lotus, you ended up in pretty bad shape. You also promised to not ever try using the chakra gates after the catastrophe that it caused. So considering that you used both and then went ahead and did the reversal move... You could have killed yourself."
I quickly pulled my lips into a smile as tears formed in my eyes. "Yes, I understand. I'm truly a... horrible person."
Gai-sensei brought his foot down of my head, smashing it into the ground with a nice heel-kick. "Idiot! Saying such things will not rectify the situation! If you truly feel sorry, then get up and show us you're fine!"
"R-right," I mumbled as I quickly got to my feet. I wiped the blood coming from my nose with my arm warmer and kept my eyes directed towards the ground. "Um... I-I really am sorry."
"Making mistakes is a part of youth," Gai-sensei's said, although it was clear he was still a bit upset with me.
My hands fell to my side as my head tilted down. "Yes, but as you said earlier, it simply can't be chalked up to youth. My actions will surely cause several problems in the future."
"Idiot!" Gai-sensei delivered a solid punch to my face, sending me flying into the railing.
As my body dented the metal pipes, I groaned in both pleasure and annoyance.
"Ren! Listen up, and listen up well!" Gai-sensei demanded, causing me to immediately stand before him with a serious expression. "It's true that I said your actions weren't merely youthful mistakes. It's also true, however, that you've realized the errors in your ways. Therefore, we're going to call it even here!"
"Even?" I repeated questioningly.
"As Lee here-" Gai-sensei put his hand on Lee-senpai's shoulder. "-said earlier, we were worried. I allowed that worry to control my words, which you've clearly taken to heart. I shouldn't have pushed it so hard when you had your reasons, but I also have my own. You're apologetic, as am I right now. So we'll call it even and go forwards from there."
"Of course," I agreed, only to receive two annoyed expressions. "Er... Is... there something I missed from that?"
"Ren! It's high-time that you return to your youthful self!" Gai-sensei declared, earning a nod of approval from Lee-senpai.
That's easier said than done right now, I thought while looking away. "Yeah... About that... I'm going to need a solid five minutes of alone time before I can be normal again..."
"Then please take those five minutes of alone time immediately!" Lee-senpai exclaimed, making me look at him in surprise. "I- uh- We want you to recover as soon as possible, Ren-kun!"
"Ah, right," I muttered before forcing a smile. "I'll be back soon."
"We're waiting!" Gai-sensei yelled as Lee-senpai nodded along.
I gave a nod before walking back over to my team. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom quickly."
"You'll miss the next fight," Kakashi-sensei pointed out.
"Puppet Bitch will win," I said, waving him off as I headed off to clear my head.
Of course, that time was spent finding empty rooms so I could freely throw around furniture to calm myself down.
I soon returned with all of the stress out of my system. I felt somewhat better, but I wasn't perfect as I brought myself up to the second floor. I saw that the match between Kankuro and the other Orochimaru spy was ending, so I looked at Sakura pleadingly. "I need you to punch my face."
"No," she said, not even sparing me a single glance.
"Please?" I asked, only for her to push me away. I huffed before looking at Kakashi-sensei. "Please punch me."
"What?" The man asked as he looked down at me with alarm.
"Punch my face," I stated, making him look away.
"Uh... Is that really-"
"Either punch me, or I'm actually going to start betting," I snapped.
He punched the top of my head and yelled, "For the last time, you're not betting!"
I allowed the pain to turn to pleasure and quickly returned to my old self. "Heh. I bet you're just jealous that my betting skills are better than yours."
"No, I'm angry because it's another thing to add to the pile of your already existing delinquency," the sharingan-wielder replied with a narrowed eye.
"Psh! No one yelled at the Legendary Sucker when she was still a kid!" I yelled stubbornly.
"Well she didn't break into various places, lie to ANBU officers' faces, and more," he sassed.
"Cut me some slack. Every child goes through a rebellious stage," I muttered as I looked away.
"What child is so rebellious, they'd literally break into high-security places just for some highly-guarded documents?" Kakashi-sensei asked.
I looked away for a split-second as several names came to mind. "Do...? Do you really want me to answer that, or...?"
"What people did you associate with when you were still young?!" He exclaimed.
"A now S-Rank criminal, an apparently suicidal person, Kiba-"
"Don't bring me into this!" Kiba barked at me, making me realize that practice everyone else was listening in on my argument with Kakashi-sensei.
"-Akamaru," I continued, ignoring Dog-Boy, "That one ANBU member that was assigned to watch me for a while when I was still a little kid-"
"Wait, what?" Kakashi-sensei asked, making me pause.
"Oh! I never told you that story!" I exclaimed as a large grin came to my face.
Sakura immediately started snickering and covered her mouth to hide her amusement.
"Okay, so it all started during the Natsu Festival back when I was, like, four. So I played kingyo sukui at the festival, right? I managed to get myself a goldfish that I named Tsukuyomi. Naturally, he died within a week because he was a festival goldfish. I was so distraught over the fact he died, that my parents got me a newt to replace the dead goldfish." I took a moment to force down the laughed that wanted to bubble up. "I- Hehe- I named him Haku."
"Is this the story you started talking about on the bridge?" Kakashi-sensei questioned, making me nod.
"Now, shut up. Okay, so I felt that my newt was feeling lonely one day, so I convinced Sakura to help me sneak him out and take him to a nearby training ground with a creek so we could find him a girlfriend," I explained, only to see that Kakashi-sensei was already facepalming as Sakura was starting to lose her shit in the background. I quickly flipped him the bird before continuing on. "We got there and played around in the creek while trying to find him a girlfriend, right? We didn't find any, so I had packed up Haku again and was waiting for Sakura when all of a sudden, out of fucking nowhere, these arrows start falling from the sky!"
The jônin raised a brow skeptically.
"I ended up freaking out and dropped Haku's little jar, causing it to break. Haku, bless his little newt soul, started walking back towards the creek like a man on a mission. I dived for him, only to get an arrow through my knee. I watched on in horror as Haku walked through the storm of arrows as Sakura stood frozen just out of way of the arrows. Everything fell silent as an arrow pierced the ground before Haku. Haku stared at the arrow for a few seconds before simply walking over the arrow. Shock came to Sakura and I as we watched that newt literally crawl over all the arrows before making it to the bank of the creek. He looked back at us, and in that moment, we understood..."
Sakura had stopped her giggling, probably remembering the way that Haku looked back at us.
"He had to leave, and he was never coming back. His destiny was taking him towards places unknown, and he had to follow it. We knew all of that..." I stopped the dramatics and smiled once again. "Mainly because he, who was actually a she, told us."
"Wait, what?" Kakashi-sensei asked, clearly not understanding anything that was happening.
"Yeah. As it turns out, a criminal broke into the village and ended up transforming herself into a newt that my parents just-so-happened to buy. When we brought her out there, she decided to escape no matter the cost. At the same time we were there, a group of shinobi were going through some training, and she used their arrows to aid in her escape." I giggled as I remembered the face Sakura made when Haku started talking. "Oh gods, it was hilarious. You see, she had started to float away in the river when I lunged for her and grabbed her tightly. She didn't tell us she was a shinobi, you see, so I thought she was just a talking newt, right?"
Sakura began laughing again until she started choking on her spit. She slammed her fist into her chest a few times, but the smile never left her face.
"So-" I released a few loud laugh as I covered my hands with my face. "So then- fuck- Ahem. That's when the ninjas that were training found us. Of course, they immediately notice the arrow sticking through my knee and rushed over. I was so busy screaming at Haku and flailing her around that I totally forgot about the arrow."
"No, no. You forgot it," Sakura butted in as she smacked my shoulder.
"What?" I asked only to see her motioning to my missing detail. "Oh! That's right! Fuck, you're right!" I then waved my hands around while trying to get myself under control. "Okay, okay. As they found us, one the shinobi yell out, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?!" And I yelled back, "Does it look like I'm okay?! I've found Omoikane in newt form! My pet newt can speak!" It was-" I burst out laughing while holding my gut.
Sakura slapped my back a few times while holding her gut in her other arm. "Those ninja all looked at Ren like he was crazy! You should have seen their faces! It was like they were looking down at a drunken mental patient!"
"That fucking newt was so terrified, it literally flopped over and pretended to be dead!" I continued on. "I refused to let her go, even as I was literally being carried to the hospital! All throughout out the process of getting the arrow removed, I screeched like a banshee if anyone so much as looked towards my newt!" I coughed a few times before finally managing to get my laughter under control. "In order to keep my mind off of the pain, one nurse talked to me about Haku. That's when one of the people there, who just so happened to be a medical nin, asked to see my newt. He said he wanted to see if my newt was a summoning, which I was totally excited for, right? I mean, my talking newt could have been a ninja summoning! So I showed him Haku, and he immediately grabs it and threw it at the ground as hard as he could. I was freaking out when a puff of smoke suddenly filled the room because I thought he killed my newt for some odd reason."
Sakura finally managed to get herself under control, but still used me as support until she could properly hold her own body up.
"That's when this fucking chick begins to rush for the window, her hair matching the color of the newt's skin. I realized she was my newt, so I, in spite of still having half of an arrow in my knee, lunge for her and manage to tackle her to the ground somehow. I demand that she turned back into a newt and wouldn't let go even as she tried to jump out of the window." I laughed as I remembered her horrified face when she realized that she couldn't get me to let her go. "So then, an ANBU member shows up, right? Apparently Sakura had explained everything to a few of the shinobi, and one of them remembered that there was possibly a criminal still in Konoha. So on a hunch, they reported it to a passing-by ANBU member. That ANBU guy didn't realize that I was hanging onto her, so when he came out of nowhere and slammed her into the ground, I was crushed under her."
Kakashi-sensei's face suddenly morphed into a expression of realization as he mumbled, "The Hospital Newt Incident..."
"Oh my gods! You've heard about it?!" I asked as a large grin practically split my face in half.
"I remember that Risu had to do so much paperwork afterwards from one of her subordinates, she was a living hell to work with for the next month straight. All she talked about was Ahiru's mess up that nearly caused a kid's spine to break in half," Kakashi explained before looking down at me. "You were that kid, weren't you? And after everything was said and done, Hitsuji had to follow you around in order to make sure you weren't dealing with any permanent injuries or the like."
"And by the like, you mean he had to make sure I wasn't going to hate Konoha or anything, right?" I asked with a smirk and a raised brow.
The man with the name akin to a scarecrow shrugged. "Protocol is protocol."
I shook my head before waving it off. "So anyway, I needed to stay in the hospital for, like, three days after getting smashed into the ground like that. And so, long story short, my sister and I were banned from ever having a pet ever again."
"Ren forgot to add in how he had an obsession with seeing if animals could talk for the next year. Every time he saw an animal, he tried getting it to speak until either our parents or I dragged him away. He typically screeched loud enough to get the birds to fly away when we did that." Sakura snickered at my embarrassment expression. "And the thing that stopped that obsession was the takoyaki incident."
"You can't speak of it!" I screamed as I covered her mouth. "We agreed to never speak of that day again! Why are you trying to forsaken me?!"
"What's... the takoyaki incident?" Kakashi-sensei asked as he looked between the two of us with a raised brow.
Sakura smirked widely behind the hands that covered her mouth, an evil glint entering her eyes.
"For the love of all that is somewhat sacred in my life, please don't tell him," I requested as I moved my hands to her shoulders.
As she chuckled, I began to fear for the worst. She opened her mouth, only for Uzumaki-kun to butt into the conversation while pointing down at Kankuro.
"2 on 1 is cheating! That's allowed, Kakashi-sensei?!" The blonde yelled.
"It's not cheating... That's just a doll," Kakashi-sensei explained while looking at the idiot with disappointment.
"That's puppeteering jutsu. It's controlling a doll and using it as a weapon with your chakra. It's the same as a shuriken or any other tool," Sakura explained.
I saw that the idiot still didn't understand, so I gave a deep sigh. "Hey, did you play with action figures when you were a kid? It's like that, only bigger... And a weapon."
"Oooh!" Uzumaki-kun said loudly, making Sakura deadpan behind me. "Geez! There's a bunch of weirdos here."
"Like you're one to talk..." Kakashi-sensei commented.
"Haha, good one!" Sakura said, earning a nod of approval from me.
Kakashi-sensei leaned down and out a hand on Sakura's shoulder. "This is no time for laughing. Sakura..." He pointed towards the green screen and said, "Look."
I looked as well, and my eyes widened in shock from the sight.
Haruno Sakura
VS
Yamanaka Ino
"Shit..." I mumbled as my shoulders sagged quite a bit. I wasn't predicting a good outcome for either of the participates in the next fight...
