A/N: So many to thank for reviews of the last chapter and beyond. I hope I got everyone: Dragon and Sword Master, Assault Godzilla, "Joshua," "Hope," 1740, kurukurupa, Zorda200, thenate12, the end of everything, Irish Shift, RukiYuki, Jacob Flores, "Guest," myownlilbubble, LordMentat, Mad Hatter Stories, tomboy8888, "Guest," lildee-dee245, Kit Eliza King, Snowy Analia, jobanansan, "mm6iwl," "Guest," Just Veia, "Guest," The Last Kenpachi, trickstercast, Speed Reader, and NC2001. I have no excuse for not updating in nearly two years except the words just weren't there. Hopefully the last chapters of the story will make up for it. Yes, you read that right, I have finished the story. By the time you finish reading this note, the rest of the chapters should be posted. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bleach characters, manga, anime, movies, etc. The belong by copyright laws to Tite Kubo et al.

The Kurosaki Affair

Wedding Morning Confusion

Ichigo knew there was something odd going on when he woke up on the couch in his father's living room. The smell of his father's cologne and his sisters' assorted fragrances had long since buried themselves into the fabric of the furniture, so he was certain of where he was. The question became why was he there and not in his bed, and more importantly, in his house? The smell of breakfast wafted to him from the kitchen, and after a moment of inhaling the familiar scent, his brain finally supplied the answer.

"Mom!"

Bolting upright, the Soul Prince nearly fell off the couch as he turned towards the other occupants of the room. His sisters sat at the table, both openly amused and in various states of dress. Isshin hovered over Masaki, the latter threatening him with a wooden spoon if he dared to mess with her food.

"Good morning, dear," she called from her position in front of the stove. "How are you feeling? Kuchiki-taicho and Lieutenant Abarai had thought you'd be more comfortable recovering here then at home."

"Recovering?" Ichigo asked blankly. What idiocy had he gotten himself into this time?

"Well, in your quite jovial mood last evening, you drank rather heavily, I'm afraid. I hope you don't have a nasty hangover or Rukia-chan is not going to be happy."

"Er, no, I'm fine," he commented distractedly and promptly tripped over the coffee table his father had moved just so he'd stumble. Long limbs wind-milled for balance and he glared at his sire when the older man laughed loudly. "My mind just hasn't woken up yet," he continued slumping heavily into his old chair.

"Better perk up fast, Ichi-nii," Karin advised. "You've got about ten minutes to swallow breakfast before you need to get ready."

"Karin!" Yuzu scolded. "He has more than that. Fifteen at least," she added, a tad bit of mischief in her eyes.

"Now, now, girls, don't tease your brother," Masaki said, placing her son's food in front of him. "It's his wedding day after all, and he's bound to be nervous."

"Not really," Ichigo commented distractedly before taking a bite. He was just glad the day had arrived.

"You're not?" his mother questioned, absentmindedly slapping Isshin's hand away from her plate.

"Nah, this is just another step in our journey together."

His sisters exchanged a look and then tilted their heads at him meaningfully. "Right…" Karin said in total disbelief. "So I guess you're not worried at all about where Renji-san and Byakuya-niisan are."

"Nope. They're next door."

"Or about what they're doing?" Yuzu added.

Slight unease skittered down Ichigo's spine. "I'm sure, two relatively intelligent men can fend for themselves for the morning…" he trailed off just as a loud explosion filled the air.

"Oh, dear," Masaki murmured as Ichigo bolted from the table and out the door. "I should set a couple more places, shouldn't I?"

"Depends," the older twin commented.

"Depends on what?" the matriarch asked.

"On whether or not Onii-chan beats the culprit unconscious," Yuzu answered for her sister. Both shrugged and went back to eating. Now things were back to normal.

Ten minutes later, swearing a blue streak and carting an unconscious Renji over one shoulder, Ichigo returned to his family's table, Byakuya calmly behind him. "Don't bother feeding this idiot," he grumbled, tossing his red-haired friend to the ground. "You can feed that one, but don't cater to him," the former ryoka hooked a thumb at his almost-brother-in-law.

"Kuchiki-taicho, please, have a seat," Masaki gestured to the chair Isshin had just pulled up. Byakuya took it as his due and sat regally at the end of the table. She put some breakfast in front of him and watched with well-concealed amusement as he studied it for several moments before eating.

"What happened, Ichi-nii?" Karin asked, pulling at the collar of her robe. Yuzu had convinced her to put one on, not knowing when other males might make an appearance. She admitted it had been a good idea, but wished she'd tightened the sash herself. Making a mental note not to let her sister do it again, she glanced at Renji briefly before continuing to eat.

"Che, I'm not sure how, but he made the rice machine launch itself through the window of the kitchen. The kitchen's a mess and I'm pretty sure Rukia's going to blow a fuse and freeze all of us into popsicles when she finds out."

"I have put in a request for emergency aid, Kurosaki," Byakuya informed the younger man. "All will be well before she comes home."

"Oh, my…" Masaki murmured, her teacup forgotten in her hand.

"Oh, so a regular day," Karin chuckled. Standing, she took her dishes to the sink and washed them while the others continued to eat. Her sister soon joined her, and they made quick work of the pots and pans that had been used in the preparation of the meal.

"Karin, Yuzu, you are dressed inappropriately to be in front of my adjunct and myself. Please return to your rooms and prepare yourself accordingly." The twins stared at Byakuya for several seconds before shrugging and returning to their rooms. Isshin and Ichigo, noticing the captain's discomfort, chuckled lightly.

"But, Nii-san, you're family." Ichigo tried to copy the tone he knew his sisters would use had they chosen to say anything. He saw Byakuya's eye twitch and considered it a direct hit.

"Hn, family or no, their attire should not be seen out of the bedroom."

"Give them a break, Byakuya. They're about to be trussed up like holiday presents. At least let them be comfortable. And they're actually covered more now than they have been before. Heck, I popped over for something one day and found them painting their toenails in nothing but their unmentionables." Ichigo silently cringed at that memory. "I do believe your sister taught them that trick."

"Do not remind me," the older Shinigami ordered. He'd had the misfortune of discovering the same thing last year when he'd forgotten to announce himself before entering Rukia's room at the estate. She had been distracted between doing her nails and talking to Ichigo, so she hadn't realized it was him until the door had already been partly opened. Three tatami mats had to be replaced thanks to the spilled nail polish that had come at him in lieu of kido. He was rather thankful, but the memory still haunted him on occasion.

Masaki, listening to the exchange with wide eyes and a compressed mouth, gave up trying to hold her laughter in. Isshin joined her after a moment much to the consternation of her son and the captain. Several minutes passed until she could speak and when she did, it was a bit breathlessly. "That is definitely a story to save for the grandchildren, don't you agree, Isshin?"

"I'm filing it away now, dearest." Isshin grinned, wondering how he could reinvent the story to his liking. No doubt there was more to the story of Byakuya finding Rukia in her underwear, but he'd just make up the details they weren't sharing.

"There is no need to tell the next generation."

"Ah, forget it, Byakuya. I know that look in Dad's eyes. He's going to do it and sound like a complete pervert when he does."

"The Kuchiki heir will not…"

A loud snort interrupted Byakuya's proclamation and they all turned to find Renji coming back from his forced nap. "What'd I miss?"

"Just breakfast," Ichigo answered as the clock chimed the hour. "Time for us to get to the hotel. Mom, are you going to come with the girls and Dad?"

"I will. We'll be along shortly, dear. I believe our dresses are all with Uryuu-kun and Matsumoto-san volunteered to do our hair and make-up, so we really just need to shower and get ourselves there in time. Don't worry about a thing."

"Not worried about you. Him on the other hand," Ichigo muttered as he stared at his father's unshaven face and slightly messy hair.

"I clean up quite nicely," Isshin proclaimed, a little insulted. "In fact, when I married your mother, I was dressed in a suit that was all the rage at the moment."

"If you're talking about that green atrocity in your closet, you need help."

"Why, yes, I am. It even still fits. I was going to wear it today, as a matter of fact."

Ichigo exchanged horrified looks with Byakuya and Renji. "Please tell me you're joking."

"I do believe he's quite serious, dear," his mother answered for her husband.

"Ise-san is going to kill us. I never thought about getting him a suit. If he shows up in that sickly green horror story, she'll kido him into next week."

"Maybe she has a kido that'll change it black," Renji suggested hesitantly. "Without the smokey scent."

"She has a kido for everything else…" Ichigo murmured hopefully.

Byakuya sighed internally and pulled his soul phone out of his pocket. "I will contact Ise and Ishida. You two go get ready as much as you can here. Leave this situation to me."

Masaki watched the two younger men dash away to get ready while Byakuya talked calmly to someone on the other end of his phone and her husband moaned pitifully next to her. "And on that note, I think I'll excuse myself. Do try to behave, dearest," she commented before going to do the dishes left on the table.

Thankfully, unbeknownst to Ichigo and his dad, Chad had come to the same conclusion yesterday and had roped Ishida into a last-minute costume change for the former captain. He had supposed if this was the only emergency he'd had to handle as best man, he should be content.

However, knowing everyone as he did, that was probably hoping for too much.


Rukia woke up slowly, the large bed she had slept in the night before reluctant to let her leave its comfort. Allowing the sunlight that drifted in to warm her eyelids, she eventually opened her eyes and took stock of where she was. Orihime was on one side of her, the healer's long limbs draped in four different directions. Tatsuki had taken up the other side, pillows positioned to aid in helping with her pregnancy. The lieutenant could feel Rangiku and Momo's reiatsus coming from another bedroom while Nanao was out in the large dining/living area already well on her way to taking immediately control of any disaster that might arise.

Climbing out of the middle of the bed without waking the others was a bit difficult but she managed to dismount the high mattress with only a small thud. Wandering into the other room, she inhaled the scent of breakfast and roasted green tea. "Ise-san," she murmured softly, pushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. It stayed where she put it but knew that it was now resembling a demon's horn instead of a lock of hair.

"Good morning, Kuchiki-san. I trust you slept well," Nanao inquired gently. A cup of tea sat at her right elbow while her to-do list was on her left. A small plate of toast sat in front of her. Her soul phone was within easy reach and Rukia figured that the other lieutenant was anticipating any eventuality.

"Quite deeply, which may have been partially due to the alcohol. Is there anything that I should be reminded of from last night?"

"Negative," Nanao said briskly as her phone rang. A glare was sent its way and the Kuchiki bride almost felt sorry for whoever was on the other end. "Captain Kuchiki, this is a surprise. I trust you are not about to tell me that some disaster has fallen the groom."

Rukia sank down into one of the chairs at the large table and dragged a cup towards her so that she could partake of the tea that was calling her name. She listened with half an ear to her colleague's side of the conversation and almost choked on the mouthful of the beverage when Nanao screeched in denial:

"He will most certainly not!"

Nanao's panicked reiatsu must have alerted the others to the serious problem because everyone immediately gathered in the center room and stared at their friend. "What's up?" Rangiku inquired, long blonde hair resembling the snakes of a medusa. Her grey eyes were still blurry with sleep, but she was far more awake than she seemed.

"Ise-san?" Orihime questioned while Tatsuki made a dash for the nearest bathroom. She'd find out what was wrong in a minute.

Momo was almost afraid to ask because of the look in the other lieutenant's eye. She'd seen that expression before, and it usually boded ill for everyone in her line of sight. "Ise-san?"

"Captain Kuchiki, please inform Kurosaki-taicho that if he dares put on that sorry excuse for formal wear, not even Inoue-san's flowers will be able to piece him back together." Nanao hung up on the other Shinigami official, knowing she'd regret her rudeness later.

"I'm a bit lost," Rukia admitted. What did her father-in-law want to wear?

"Your dearest daddy-to-be wanted to wear the same suit he'd worn to get married to his wife in, which wouldn't have been a problem except for the color."

"There's something wrong with the color?" Weren't they all black?

Tatsuki walked back in on Nanao's last statement, pausing to finger comb her short locks. "Let me get this straight… Kurosaki-san wants to wear the suit he got married in." Her face turned green, and she bolted back to the bathroom. When she returned, she sank into the nearest chair and sighed gustily. "You cannot, I repeat, cannot let him wear that disgraceful fashion statement. It's hideous. You've seen a picture of it, Orihime. Remember?"

Putting a finger to her chin, the Rikka wielder hummed under her breath. "Oh, that! Yeah, no. That's a definite no, Rukia. We need to call in reinforcements." She went to get her cell to call Ishida, leaving the others to look on in confusion.

"What's so horrible about this suit? I can't believe it's that bad," Rangiku commented, snagging a piece of fruit off of the platter on the table.

For an answer, Nanao pulled up a picture on her phone and pointed in her friend's direction. Rangiku choked; Rukia, having taken another sip of her tea, gave the blonde an impromptu shower and Tatsuki just rushed to the bathroom again.

Momo, the only one that couldn't see the photo, and thus the problem, made her way over to Rangiku to help her dislodge the fruit in her trachea. Turning her head briefly to look at the picture, she paled at the sight of the ugliest suit she'd ever seen. "Oh, please no."

"Exactly," Nanao stated briskly.

"Good news, everyone!" Orihime called, waving her cell in the air as she rejoined the others. "Sado-kun and Uryuu-kun already thought of this! A new suit will be waiting for Kurosaki-san when he gets here."

"Crisis one averted," Nanao muttered and silently wondered how many more fires she'd have to put out before the day was over.

"Don't even think it, Nanao," Rangiku whispered hoarsely.

"Think what?"

"You already thought it, didn't you?" her friend accused. "You were wondering how many more fires or problems we'd have to fix before the day was over."

"Guilty," the other lieutenant admitted.

"We're jinxed now."

"Probably, but then, did you expect any different?"

"From this wedding? Nope." Smiling broadly, Rangiku gave her friend a one-armed hug before going to shower.

"Good thing I didn't mention the other event on our hands." With a gusty sigh that she would have gotten scolded for, Nanao finished her tea and rose to begin her own ablutions. It wouldn't do to linger over breakfast.

The Kurosaki Affair had begun.


Ishida approached the suite where his fiancée and the others resided, careful to search for any negative feelings in the reiatsus contained within. Since no one seemed to be in a bad mood or distressed, he knocked loudly and waited until someone answered. It didn't take very long for someone to call out on the other side and he wasn't surprised when Rangiku Matsumoto was the one to open the door.

"Ah, Ishida-kun! Come in! We're mostly decent," she grinned, her smile making him suspect that she had gotten her hands on some champagne a tad early. Her hair was done up in some old fashion curling method and thankfully she had a robe over her plentiful assets that was not gaping in the front.

"Matsumoto-san. I trust you all had a good night."

"Oh, the night was fine. Our wake-up call was a little frightening."

"Don't remind me. When this is all over, I'm going to suggest that Ise-san personally go and burn the thing into dust."

"What a lovely idea," Nanao said, coming out of the bathroom. Her make-up and hair were already done, and he could see stockings sticking out from the bottom of her robe.

"Yes, I thought so. I just stopped by to see if you ladies needed anything that I could help with. I will be joining the men shortly and convincing an ex-captain that he must wear what we chose. I received a call from Yoruichi-san; her gang, plus the rest of the wedding party will be here shortly. She's bringing Yachiru personally to the suite. The twins and Kurosaki-san have just arrived and are on their way up."

"I think we're good for the moment. No one has gotten into their dresses yet, as Rangiku insists that we get our hair and make-up done first. It's going to be a long process." Nanao paused to look at her sheet and frowned for a moment. "If you happen to come across Teineina-san, please tell her I'd like to speak to her in person. There are one or two details that'd I'd like to clarify."

"As you wish. How is the bride?"

"Cool as an iceberg," Tatsuki said with a shake of her head. The pregnant martial artist was sitting at the table giving herself a manicure. "Never seen a bride so not nervous."

Ishida doubted his friend had seen many brides, but he got her point. "After what she's been through in her long life, did you really think she would?"

"I suppose not," Tatsuki mused. "So what's the ETA on the groom?"

Glancing at his watch, Ishida adjusted his glasses before answering. "If they can make it here without running into much traffic, about ten minutes. Chad's waiting to escort him to our launching area. Where the new suit is waiting for an unsuspecting idiot."

Nanao was about to make a comment but the elevator door dinged, making her realize that they had left the door open. Ushering the ladies on the conveyance into the suite, she politely but insistently made Ishida leave before closing the portal firmly. The Quincy's reiatsu permeated amusement, not annoyance so she knew she hadn't been too abrupt in her actions.

Giving at the last two bridesmaids and the mother of the groom, the Eighth Squad lieutenant hummed under her breath for a moment before welcoming them with a smile. Calling the others to attention, she made introductions to the ones who didn't know who Masaki was and then proceeded to plop Karin in a chair so that Rangiku could do her make-up and hair.

"Try not to make me look like an idiot," Karin grumbled at the busty adjunct. "Nothing too fussy."

"Of course, not. I'll have you know I'm known for my fashion sense."

"Yeah, but that's what Dad said about himself, and we all know how that turned out."

"Your dad never had a lick of fashion sense that he didn't get out of an outdated magazine," the older woman informed the college student as she began the process. "I was his lieutenant, don't forget."

"Hey, that's right. I bet you have loads you could tell us. Hey, Mom, did you know Matsumoto-san was Dad's lieutenant?"

"I remember him mentioning it a time or two," the Kurosaki matriarch said, sipping at a cup of tea while watching the young women around her chatter happily. Some of them were significantly older than she was but they were acting far younger than their years would suggest. "Say, where is my daughter-in-law?"

"Meditating. I believe she has gone to commune with her Zanpakutou. I suggested perhaps her sword spirit would feel less left out if she spent some time with her." Nanao placed a hand on Momo's shoulder her to get her to stay still a moment while the older woman adjusted a hair pin. It wouldn't do for the whole thing to come undone before the ceremony even started.

"Oh, what a lovely idea. I'm truly grateful for what you've done for my children, Ise-san," Masaki said. She would have said more but a knock on the door forestalled any more conversation until they could find out who was on the other side.

Yachiru and Yoruichi came in a few moments later, one sedately with the elegance she'd been born with and another with the boundless energy only someone her age could possess. Yoruichi was dress in a pale lavender gown that hugged her figure from chest to thigh before flowing freely to her ankles, while Yachiru was in a very simple short and t-shirt ensemble that had been allowed because her flower girl dress was currently still hanging in the closet with all the other bridal party dresses.

"Yoruichi!" Masaki called out, getting up to gently hug her friend. "It seems like forever. And who is this cute little girl?"

"I'm Lieutenant Yachiru Kusajishi of the Eleventh."

"Oh, my. Such important people here for Ichigo and Rukia's wedding. I'm going to know all the people in charge before I even graduate the Academy."

"Yup! Okay, where's that dratted dress I'm supposed to wear? Kenny says I have to play nice in it and not get it dirty or ripped until the day's over with."

"Why don't we get your faced washed first?" Tatsuki asked, coming in with a wet cloth. "I can detect a smidge of chocolate on the corner of your lower lip."

Yachiru pulled a face but didn't budge while the offending substance was removed. "Where's Lieutenant Shorty?"

"Right here," Rukia answered, coming out of the bedroom she had shared with Orihime and Tatsuki. Her hair was pulled up away from her face, ice crystals glittering in her dark locks. The hair combs that had been used resembled a small crown, sparkling in the sunlight that came through the suite's windows. More ice dangled from her ears, throat, and wrists, clearly a present from her Zanpakutou. "Sode no Shirayuki thought my flower girl might like to wear some unique, one of kind jewelry to match me." She held out a hair comb, necklace, and a bracelet towards the younger girl, waiting to see what she would do. One never knew with Yachiru.

"I don't want them if they're cold, Shorty," Yachiru said honestly, but touched them anyway. "Why aren't they cold?"

"You'd have to ask her that. What do you say?"

"Okay." Yachiru turned to Matsumoto and proclaimed, "You have to made me look good."

"Don't worry, squirt, I will," her fellow Shinigami said. Another knock on the door stopped anymore demands and upon discovering that it was the wedding planner, they put aside all Shinigami talk when the door was opened to admit Teineina-san. The hotel employee smiled at the large gathering and gave a happy little sigh. Such a wonderful wedding party this was. So far, no one had caused any disturbances or made any unreasonable demands. It was such a joy to work with a group as calm and collected as this one.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm so glad that you're all looking so rested. We only have a couple hours before we must be downstairs, but I can see that will be no problem. Does anyone need a hand with anything?"

"Only a couple of hours?" Rangiku gasped. "Shihoin-san, could you lend a hand? I'm not going to be able to get everyone done with that amount of time left."

"Who should I torture first?" the ex-captain asked. Gold eyes alighted on Yuzu, who had been chatting quietly with Momo and a fanged grin made a brief appearance before she swooped in to begin her mission. Yuzu gave a squeak of surprise but went without protest.

Nanao came to a stop next to Teineina-san and smiled thinly. "Now you will begin to see the true chaos this lot can create."

"The hours always seem to fly by the bride's group while the groom's group are always ready far earlier than you'd think."

"Clearly you have overestimated our compatriots. Some of the men are more dithering than you'd think and considering one fire I already put out this morning, I think it's best not to believe that they won't cause a delay of some sort."

"A fire?" Teineina-san asked. Why hadn't she been informed?

"Yes, the groom's father wanted to wear a suit in an atrocious shade of green that is better left to the imagination."

"I thought the suits were already handled."

"As did I. Apparently, the groom forgot someone quite important. Leaving his father to his own devices when it comes to fashion is never a good idea."

"It couldn't have been that bad," the other woman mused. Not about to argue with the other woman, Nanao simply pulled up the photo on her phone and showed it to her.

A large thud had the others turning to look at their de facto leader. "What have you done to my wedding planner?" Rukia asked. The human woman was laying on the floor in a seeming faint.

"I simply showed her the suit your father-in-law-to-be wanted to wear."

"Oh, dear. We really need to burn that thing," Orihime murmured before calling on Ayame and Shunō for help. They really couldn't afford to have any more people drop at the sight of the thing. The next one might end up dead.

Try explaining that one to the police.