Chapter V: No Matter How I Look At It, It's You Guys' Fault I'm Not Talented!
Daily Life
Immediately after we exited the courtroom, Higruashi-san and I went to meet up with Mom in her cell. Luckily for us, she was up to speed from watching the trial through the camera in the courtroom, so we didn't even need to tell her the outcome.
"Excellent work, Chiyuri," Mom said. "You did well helping everyone uncover the truth and find the killer. It wasn't an easy or pleasant task, but because you succeeded, nine lives were saved, including both of ours."
"Thanks, Mom," I said.
While I still felt disturbed by witnessing Kirishima-san's execution, and knowing I'd helped cause it, I also knew that from a utilitarian perspective, one person's death was preferable to everyone else's, especially when that person was willing to let nine others die for his own survival. If Kirishima-san was a spotless, he wouldn't have any objections to my thinking of it this way.
"By the way, I don't suppose your memory has returned?" Mom said. "Then again, on second thought, I suppose the problem is that you didn't lose it to begin with, wasn't it?"
"Yes, that's exactly it," I said. "I can remember everything that happened since I woke up in the hospital room, but I still can't remember anything that happened between then and when I went to bed last night."
"That's certainly strange," Mom said, "but if you couldn't create new memories during that time, it's the only natural result."
"Indeed," Higurashi-san said. "One thing I've been curious about since seeing Nagato-san contract her disease is what happened to our memories of the past few years. Were they erased like math problems written with chalk on a blackboard? Or were they stolen from us and taken somewhere, like a spy taking classified documents?"
"It's hard to say," Mom said, "since I don't know of any technology that could erase people's memories, and doubt that anyone could have developed such a thing in the past two years, unless it was a top secret research project."
That sort of memory altering device sounded as though it would be useful for a spy- if someone was about to blow the spy's cover, the spy could wipe their memory instead of having to murder them- so any government would be tight-lipped about working on that sort of thing. Of course, the device would probably be useless if it wasn't portable or concealable, like if it was a large stationary machine rather than a device that could fit into the spy's pocket.
"In any case," Mom said, "the diseases that affected the six of you seem utterly unnatural. There are many reasons why I wish Kirishima-san hadn't committed murder, including that we could use his scientific expertise right now."
One of the most tragic parts about the killing game was how many talented young lives were being claimed. Not only would the world have benefited from these teenagers growing up, refining their skills and putting them to good use, but we could often have been helped by them, even the more esoteric talents (although I recall that Yamazaki-san disagreed). I wouldn't have been as much use to the group as some of the others, but I could still solve a mystery, and I had people who would grieve for me if I died, so I refused to throw away my life.
"That reminds me," I said. "Kirishima-san gave me his notebook at the end of the trial. I haven't had a chance to read it, though."
"Then I think you should do so, Chiyuri," Mom said, "since he entrusted you with that information. It's getting late, though, so you may want to do it later."
I yawned and nodded. Even though I felt surprisingly healthy, and had spent most of the day in bed, I was still tired after a long day, so I said good night to Mom, took the elevator up, said good night to Higurashi-san and retired to my cabin.
Inside my cabin, I had trouble getting to sleep, so I sat in bead, wearing my nightgown, and took a quick look at Kirishima-san's notebook.
Some of his observations were things we'd already noticed before. He'd included a folded up map of the world, and had charted our progress, as well as the location of the islands. According to his calculations, the fourth island was somewhere in the middle of California, so either he'd made a mistake, or we didn't actually set sail from Japan. He wasn't the Ultimate Geographer or the Ultimate Cartographer, so either outcome was plausible.
Kirishima-san also had detailed accounts of the weather and the temperatures. They weren't all that unusual for what I assumed was the spring in the seas around Japan, but despite occasional rain, there hadn't been much variation in the weather. He also included records of daily events, as well as most of the significant conversations he had. Unfortunately, his records of his conversations weren't very detailed, and most of them involved Akira-san, so I didn't learn much from those.
One thing Kirishima-san found especially odd was a lack of living creatures, particularly on the third island. As an experiment, he'd left out a piece of meat on a rooftop outside the prison on the third island (making sure that he wouldn't be punished for littering). In normal situations, a seagull might swoop down to eat it, or flies would gather around it as it rotted, but he'd never seen any birds or insects during his time on that island. After the Despair Diseases had broke out, he'd collected a blood sample from Kumakura-san on the second day (noting that Kumakura-san had winced in pain), but was unable to detect any signs of the virus in his bloodstream. In conclusion, he'd suspected that somehow, the Despair Diseases had fooled the body into thinking that it was infected, and causing it to increase its temperature according;y, but could not discern the cause.
Kirishima-san had also made note of what we'd learned on the island in minute detail. Most of the details were similar to what Akira-san had noticed, but I found a list of our names taped onto a page in the notebook.
Azuki, Akira, Unit NWP-001
Asakura, Yuichi, Unit NWP-002
Higurashi, Nobuhiro, Unit NWP-003
Himemiya, Himeno, Unit NWP-005 (Kirishima-san wrote a note saying "Unit NWP-004 seems to be listed as out of order")
Karita, Satoshi, Unit NWP-006
Kirishima, Seita, Unit NWP-007
Kojima, Shigeru, Unit NWP-008
Kumakura, Kotaro, Unit NWP-009
Kurogane, Hikaru, Unit NWP-010
Mihama, Miharu, Unit NWP-011
Nagato, Chiyuri, Unit NWP-012
Nagato, Yukari, Unit NWP-013
Sasaki, Sayuri, Unit NWP-014
Tachibana, Taiga, Unit NWP-015
Tachibana, Tatsuki, Unit NWP-016
Tsukimura, Kanae, Unit NWP-017
Yamazaki, Hide, Unit NWP-018
I didn't know what the unit numbers meant, possibly because I hadn't been down to the basement of the office complex, but Kirishima-san also mentioned that there was a total of 24 units inside, so most of them were in use. In any case, this was potentially important information- the first piece of evidence besides the newspaper on the second island that mentioned us, and the only one to list us by name.
I flipped through his notes since then, and found that most of his observations about the fourth island were similar to mine. Eventually, I got to the part at which he started writing about the diseases.
At the end of the notebook, there was one last entry.
The die is cast. Kumakura-kun is dead and I have begun my plan to frame Nagato-kun. While my goal is to succeed, should I fail and be executed, I will leave this journal behind as a record of my observations throughout the killing game. I do not believe there is any way to prevail in this irrational and unfair "game," but anyone who is determined to try may use this information however they see fit, since it will be of no use to me.
So to whoever is reading this now, I assume you are willing to try to end the killing game, in spite of our successive failures. To that, I say this- I cannot lie about your chances, but you have my sympathies.
-Seita Kirishima, the Ultimate Geneticist, Class 32 of Talent High School.
I closed the notebook and set it on my desk. Unsurprisingly, Kirishima-san's observations had no information that would help end the killing game, and the information that it had raised more questions than answers. It was only natural to assume that thanks to Monokuma constantly moving us around, and not staying on one island for more than a few days, no one would come to find us, but we had not seen any signs of life on this trip besides the seventeen of us. Even more disturbingly, the Despair Diseases did not act like ordinary illnesses. Something was going on here, but what?
For now, I was too tired to think much about it, so I changed into my nightgown and said my prayers, asking God to show mercy on the souls of the dead and watch over the living. After I was done, I climbed into bed.
The only thing that enabled me to sleep that night was the fatigue from the trial, as well as staying up late to look over Kirishima-san's notebook. Akira-san had laid down her life so that we could live, and Kirishima-san had once again endangered the group. How many people would survive? And would one of the people Akira-san saved "repay" her by sacrificing everyone else?
A part of me wondered if being indifferent was safer. In the past, not many people had cared about me, so there weren't many people I cared about, either. I was shocked when one of my schoolmates had been stabbed, but I hadn't known the victim, so I wasn't personally affected. The first two murders were a horrifying wake-up call about how cruel people could be to each other, but I didn't know any of the victims or killers very well. Akira-san was the first person whose loss deeply affected me, since she waws my first and dearest friend.
Some would do anything to be free of that pain, but I knew better. The murderers had chosen not to care about how their actions would affect others, which was why they could seek to graduate without remorse holding them back, and there was a time when Tatsuki-san had only cared about her sister. Tatsuki-san, however, was starting to change for the better so I had no desire to go back to the way I was. Even if I ended up feeling grief, sorrow and regret, the fact that I felt that pain was proof that I had a heart, so I would be grateful for it.
Day 26
I woke up by myself once again. As pleasing as it was to make it through another class trial, I wished Akira-san had been able to make it with me. Part of the reason why we were so desperate to get through the class trials at any cost was that doing so was the only way to protect those we cared about. Our successes couldn't bring back the dead, so the number of people in the class was whittled away over time.
That being said, the number of people I cared about had grown. In the beginning, I'd only truly been close to Mom, and while I'd admired Akira-san, I wondered what would become of her. Now, apart from Mom and Akira-san, I had a good partnership with Higurashi-san, was friends with the rest of the girls, got along well with Kurogane-san and... could tolerate Karita-san. That only left Asakura, but as they say, you can't win them all.
The weather was rainy for much of the early morning, but would clear up by breakfast and wouldn't resume until after sundown. I wished we had an Ultimate Meteorologist among us so we could make sense of what was going on, and determine whether this weather was natural. If It was, then we could turn our attention to more relevant matters. If it wasn't, and we could find out why it wasn't, then we had a possible chance of finding a clue of some sort.
At breakfast, the four remaining girls sat around one table, while the four guys sat at the other table. Higurashi-san had noticed that we were rather spread out, and so suggested that we each sit at the tables together, one or boys and one for girls. Since most of my friends were girls, I agreed to the proposal, especially since a certain someone would end up at the other table.
As soon as we sat down to eat, Tatsuki-san checked her watch. Musicians like her were probably busy, so it was only natural that she'd keep close track of the time. I'd heard that manga artists like Sayuri-san were pressed for time with strict deadlines, and Himeno-san probably had archery practice and other engagements, so that left me as the only surviving girl who had very much free time.
"So, it's after 7 AM," Tatsuki-san said. "If Kumakura-kun hadn't gotten killed, if I'd been targeted instead, or if Kirishima-kun had gotten away with his crime, I would be dead by now."
As morbid as Tatsuki-san's observation was, she was remarkably calm, if somber, while sharing it. Maybe it was because this wasn't the first time she'd escaped death, even if one didn't count the class trials in which she was a spotless (or even the one in which she was the blackened).
"And if the latter had happened, the rest of us would be dead, too," Himeno-san said. "Not to mention that if you'd died of your disease, one of the other infected might have been the next to become terminally ill. Like Kirishima-san said, there's no reason for you to feel guilty about your stroke of good fortune. What happened was out of your control, and all you can do is be thankful for the fact that you're still alive."
Speaking of hypotheticals, if Akira-san hadn't triggered the trap in the office complex on the third island, then both Himeno-san and Tatsuki-san would be dead now... and Akira-san and Mihama-san would be alive. As much as I wished that things had gone differently, I wouldn't have been willing to accept saving the latter pair's lives at the cost of the former' pair's... and neither would Sayuri-san, who lost two friends.
"I suppose you're right, Himemiya-san," Tatsuki-san said. "It does mean a lot coming from you."
"I'm glad you think so, Tatsuki," Himeno-san said. "For what it's worth, I'm glad we survived this long."
"Me too," Sayuri-san said. "I wish Miharu-chan and Akira-chan were still here, but I think they would say the same thing if they were, too."
Tatsuki-san smiled, and said "Thank you."
"By the way, girls, I'd like to ask you something" Tatsuki-san said. "Is it all right if I use your first names, too?"
The three of us nodded without hesitation. It did feel a bit awkward having Tatsuki-san be the only one who called us by our last names, especially when she didn't necessarily feel the need to go the extra mile with good manners, like Himeno-san and I often did.
"I don't see any reason why not," Himeno-san said. "It wouldn't be fair to say no to you after we've been calling you 'Tatsuki' all this time."
"I agree with Himeno-chan," Sayuri-san said. "Personally, it'd be less awkward if you'd do the same for us."
"You won't hear any arguments from me, Tatsuki-san," I said. "I don't often use first names, but I've gotten used to using yours. Try calling me 'Chiyuri' until it rolls off your tongue."
While I was entirely serious, Tatsuki-san let off a chuckle, then nodded.
"I'm glad to hear that," Tatsuki-san said. "Thank you, Himeno-san, Sayuri-san, Chiyuri-san."
"It's our pleasure," Himeno-san said, "but the '-san' isn't mandatory. The same goes for you, Chiyuri."
"I'll keep that in mind, Himeno-san," I said, "although using first names on my friends, even with honorifics, is a bit of a new thing for me. The '-san' honorific happens to be my go-to honorific for virtually everyone, from some of my mom's friends to my classmates, so I hope you'll understand."
"Oh, I do," Himeno-san said. "It would be another story if you were using '-sama' and acting like a servant, or even a slave, but '-san' is respectful without necessarily being deferential, so it's fine. I waited at least sixteen years for Kanae to call me 'Himeno,' so I can wait sixteen more for you girls to do the same."
I saw a smile on Tatsuki-san's face. For better or worse, it was good to think about the future. It was also good that she'd come to consider us friends, after initially not having been close with anyone besides her sister. If her case proved anything, it was that people could make mistakes, but they could also change for the better.
I was so busy thinking about that I forgot that Monokuma was scheduled to pay us a visit, and was surprised when he showed up between our tables.
"Hello class," Monokuma said. "It's good to see you're all well again. I don't think any teacher's seen more than half of their class get sick except on the day when a popular new video game comes out."
The prospect of the majority of us faking being sick to stay at home and play the game was rather farfetched. Only Kojima-san and maybe Kurogane-san were gamers, and only Karita-san and Kojima-san seemed like the type to cut class. Besides, if the game was on a home console, then it would be impossible Kojima-san to play it without getting caught by his parents- assuming he had any, that is.
After being distracted by that thought for a moment, I came to a more important realization- I didn't know that much about many of my schoolmates- and realized there were a few reasons for that. One part was that we hadn't known each other for very long. Another part is that I hadn't spoken with many people apart from Mom, Akira-san and Higurashi-san for the first couple of weeks. Yet another part was the fact that some people weren't willing to talk about certain things for various reasons; I hadn't told anyone about my status as an illegitimate child besides Akira-san(and Mom, who obviously already knew), partly because I was still ashamed, and partly because I was afraid how people would react if they found out.
"So now that another murder's happened, I suppose we're sailing to the next island," Higurashi-san said. "Is there going to be any 'preparation' for the island?"
"Nothing too major," Monokuma said, "but since we're visiting a college, I'd like you all to dress appropriately. Later today, I'll be dropping off some suits for each of you in your cabins, and I'd like you to wear them on the day we make landfall."
While I was worried about what Monokuma had in mind for a college, I had to admit I was a bit excited to dress up a little. I'd worn skirts, blazers, button-down shirts and even neckties for most of last year (save for the summer, when I wore a plaid jumper dress instead of a blazer and skirt), but this was my first time wearing a proper suit. Akira-san would probably want to wear trousers in lieu of a skirt, but maybe Monokuma could be flexible on that regard.
"One more thing," Monokuma said. "I believe I owe you the fourth digit for the passcode- a 7. Any questions?"
After writing down the new digit, I raised my hand.
"There's one thing you haven't told us, Monokuma," I said. "What order do the digits go in? And what slots are they for?"
"All in good time, Nagato-san," Monokuma said. "I'll tell you the full password once you get the last digit. Until then!"
Monokuma left, at which point Higurashi-san cleared his throat and stood up to address us.
"It appears we know where we will be headed next," Higurashi-san said. "Once there, please dress according to Monokuma's instructions. I understand you may be uneasy, but this is a small request that does not appear to have any repercussions."
"Maybe not," Karita-san said, "but I'm still kind of surprised that he knows my exact clothing sizes."
"It's possible he has access to the forms we submitted when we ordered uniforms," I said, "or at least whoever's working with him does."
"In other words, your mom, right?" Asakura said. "Or maybe you?"
My temper flared for moment, but I was calm enough to know that now was not the time to lose my head. I then took a deep breath to calm myself, before shaking my head.
"No," I said. "None of the teachers at Talent High School, Mom included, are responsible for collecting the forms or reviewing the data. The order forms, which are usually submitted online, go directly to the uniform manufacturer."
I thought about the clothing store we saw on the first island, but knew there was no link between that store and the school. That store mainly specialized in traditional Japanese clothing, while Talent High School's uniforms were Western-inspired blazer uniforms; even the sailor fuku and the gyakuran that Sayuri-san and Asakura wore were inspired by European navy and army uniforms. None of the other clothing establishments we'd seen had anything like school uniforms available- there were costumes on the second island and workwear and business attire on the third- so the company that made Talent High School's uniforms probably wasn't involved.
"Interesting," Karita-san said. "Is it connected to anyone we know? Himemiya-san perhaps?"
"My family owns more than a few companies," Himeno-san said, "but school uniform manufacturers are not among them. If one person from such a company is involved, it would be a third party, unrelated to anyone here."
The discussion ground to a halt as we realized we were getting nowhere. As tempting as it would be to assume that an eighteenth person was the one responsible for all our misery, and that none of our classmates, living or dead, had betrayed us by luring us into the killing game, Monokuma knew that truth wouldn't cause any despair in us. Perhaps if we found as many clues as possible and made sense of them, we'd find the traitor, but what then? I didn't want to answer that question.
After breakfast, I walked over to the bridge and took a look at the keypad, pondering what the last digit to the passcode could be, and what order the numbers would be in. Ordinarily, Kirishima-san would do this, but with him no longer around, the job fell to me.
While math was my strongest subject, I struggled to crunch the numbers and find out how many combinations we were dealing with. One of the five digits was the number Monokuma had yet to reveal, and there were ten different numbers that could go in each slot- multiplying those together, there were 50 possibilities for which slot the missing number was for and what number it actually was. As for the other four digits, we knew what they were, but not what order they were for, or what slots they belonged in. Even if we were able to guess the missing number, then there were dozens of combinations as long as we didn't know the order... which only Monokuma knew.
I looked up at the Gatling guns on the ceiling, which would reduce me to a fine red spray if I put in an incorrect combination, and let out a long sigh. One of my mom's bad habits when it came to technology, which I'd worked to break her of, was making short passwords that weren't just easy to remember, but also easy to brute-force (although at least she wasn't sentimental enough to use my or my father's names as her passwords). Of course, her passwords were still six characters back then and consisted entirely of letters, so cracking the keypad should have been even easier than cracking her password. If not for the threat of death, we could have gotten the door open on the first night...
As I came to that realization, I also asked myself the question- "And then what?" What was so important that Monokuma locked it behind the door? Would we be able to take control of the ship and sail back to civilization? Could we use the radio to call for help? Would we find the person who was behind all the death and suffering? Or was there nothing inside, and was this nothing more than a red herring to tantalize us?
The only thing I knew for certain was that unless we found an alternative, another murder would happen before we found our way inside there. As naïve as it sounded, I had no desire for that, so I was willing to give up on getting inside the bridge if it meant that everyone who was still alive right now would survive.
After I was done, I met up with Higurashi-san on the deck, just after the rain stopped. We were just starting to pull away from the island, so it wasn't fully out of sight.
"If you don't mind my asking, Higurashi-san," I said, "how are you holding up?"
"As well as could be expected, Nagato-san," Higurashi-san said. "This is the fourth time I've failed to stop a murder... and it doesn't help that the culprit shared a cabin with me."
"I see," I said. "I've... been through something similar, so I have some idea of what you're going through. Maybe the two of you weren't friends, per se, but..."
Higurashi-san sighed.
"It's... complicated," Higurashi-san said. "I wasn't completely unaware that Kirishima-kun's true character was like this, but I'd hoped that he cared about the group as a whole, not to mention me. As they say, the darkest place is below the candle."
"Yes, that is true," I said, "but while it may not be much consolation, you only knew him for a little over three weeks, and didn't seem particularly close. In middle school, I shared a class with some students for three years, and I barely knew more than their names, their appearances and their ranks in the class."
Higurashi-san seemed like someone who would be fairly popular at his old school, so I wondered if my remark was much him, I must have seemed like such an introvert that the only reason I wasn't a shut-in was that I actually went to school. In any case, he wasn't convinced.
"So it's impossible to know fully know everyone in this class in such a short time?" Higurashi-san said. "You're not wrong about that, but I feel as though any leader, from a class representative to the Prime Minister, should know the people they are responsible for. Perhaps people in the killing game may be willing to deceive their classmates, especially me, but that fact does not change."
We were at an impasse of sorts in this discussion- I was talking about how things were, and Higurashi-san was talking about how things should be- so we dropped the subject right there. Higurashi-san was realistic enough to concede my points, as well as to acknowledge that sometimes, sacrifice was necessary, but a part of him still believed he should be doing better. I couldn't fault him for feeling that way, especially not after so many of us had died with so little to show for it.
Higurashi-san and I decided to visit Mom in the morning, and told him about Monokuma's news. Mom was especially interested in the next island, since while she wouldn't set foot on it, she wanted her daughter and other students to be safe.
"So our next stop is a college?" Mom said. "I'm uneasy about what Monokuma is planning, but I expect that it should be a relatively safe environment, at least compared to the third island."
"I think so, too, Mom," I said. "At least it isn't a place with a lot of weapons or possible hazards, like a military base... unless the college in question is some kind of military academy."
While there could be worse places to stop by, our killers were a creative lot, employing a board, a knife and a pillow to carry out their crimes. They'd used other items to facilitate their crimes, but except for the pharmaceutical chemicals used in the last murder, most of them were household items.
"You also mentioned that you got another digit to the keypad to the bridge door," Mom said. "In other words, there's only one to go, isn't there?"
"It seems that way," Higurashi-san said, "but we don't know what order those five numbers go in."
"Yes, that's true," I said, "and there's the Gatling gun. Even if the first four numbers are 1137, in that order, that's still over a 90 percent chance of whoever tries to guess the combination ending up being riddled with bullets."
For a moment, I tried to calculate the odds of us surviving for this long, but realized it was probably best not to think about it. Even if we had a 50-50 chance of success each time, then there was a 93.25 percent chance that the majority of us, myself included, would have been executed by now. With that sort of math, it was only natural that Kirishima-san would have taken a 50 percent chance of escape over a 25 percent chance of surviving and making it to the sixth island.
"So neither luck nor persistence will help you solve this problem," Mom said. "Do you know anything that might help you to deduce the combination?"
"Nothing that I can think of," I said. "I checked Kirishima-san's journal and the various numbers we found here, but can't think of anything that would contain those numbers or point to the missing one. Even if I did come up with an idea, I wouldn't try it unless I was absolutely sure that it was the combination."
"A wise choice, Chiyuri," Mom said. "Please do not risk your life needlessly, and please make sure the others understand that, too."
Higurashi-san and I replied with "Yes, ma'am." If nothing else, the killing game, which was devoid of practice trials, second chances or mercy, forced us to take things seriously. Unfortunately, the same went for the killers, and I shuddered to think how cunning the next person to seek graduation would be.
After leaving Mom and taking the elevator back up, I parted ways with Higurashi-san. I took a walk through the below decks area and found my way to the lounge. Karita-san was there, and after noticing I was alone, he greeted me. I responded in kind, before taking a seat near him.
"I'd like to ask you some questions," I said, "since you're the only survivor of the anti-Higurashi group with whom I'm on speaking terms."
That wasn't the most elegant name for the people who didn't vote for Higurashi-san, but it would have to do. It wasn't as though we had any political parties on this ship... and, of course, the anti-Higurashi crowd hadn't been very unified to begin with.
"Oh, that group doesn't exist anymore," Karita-san said, "since any organization needs at least two things- a common goal and members committed to accomplishing that goal. Right now, we don't have either, so you can consider us disbanded."
"Are you sure about that?" I said.
"The only ones of us left are Himemiya-san, Asakura-kun and myself," Karita-san said, "and Himemiya-san left the group a while back- you can confirm it with her if you're not sure. That leaves me and Asakura, so we can't really hold meetings as we are now."
"I guess not," I said, "but what about the common cause? Isn't questioning Higurashi-san's leadership enough?"
Karita-san shook his head.
"Nope," Karita-san said. "Assuming we did get Higurashi-kun to step down as our leader, what would happen then? Would we elect someone to replace him, or would we continue without a leader? We couldn't really agree on that, so it all fell apart."
"When you put it that way, it's not too surprising," I said.
"Not at all," Karita-san said. "I think the only commonality that the six of us had was that we didn't have all that much faith in cooperation, since we knew that all it took was one treacherous and selfish individual involved in a cooperative endeavor to mess everything up... which was why getting us to work together was a lost cause. I suppose the only way to get us, as a class, to work together is to wait until all the untrustworthy students die."
I sighed. Even though the killers had wronged us, I didn't believe they deserved to die for their crimes, especially not Akira-san, who hadn't wanted to harm anyone. As for Tatsuki-san, the one blackened who had avoided execution, she'd stayed out of trouble so far, so while her sister shouldn't have died, it was proof that murderers didn't necessarily deserve to die.
"A day may come when you're proven right, Karita-san," I said, "but I don't want to see anyone else here die if we can help it."
"You're honest, I'll give you that," Karita-san said. "It's a shame that there's little reward for such a quality in this world."
Karita-san got up and left, leaving me to think about what he said. I believed that God would reward the virtuous and punish sinners, but what about the world? Ordinarily, the law would be the main way of regulating behavior, but not only did it have a mixed record even in the best of times, but could we even rely on it if we returned home? Maybe we couldn't, which was probably part of the reason why Karita-san was so cynical.
I found Himeno-san and Tatsuki-san sitting near the pool on the deck. Both of them were in the middle of what seemed like a serious discussion, but stopped talking and turned to face me I approached.
"Perfect timing, Chiyuri-san," Tatsuki said. "Himeno-san and I wanted your opinion on something."
'Specifically me?" I said.
"Yes," Himeno-san said. "We want to know whether you believe you can forgive Kirishima-san."
I paused to think. It had been less than a day since the trial, so his actions were fresh on our minds. I wanted to say "yes" because of my religious beliefs, but would that be right?
"That's a difficult question," I said, "because while he was the blackened in the last trial, he actually committed three separate crimes. The first, obviously enough, was killing Kumakura-san. The second was endangering everyone else's lives by trying to graduate. The third was framing me for murder."
"True," Tatsuki-san said, "but he couldn't have committed one without the other two. He killed Kumakura-kun because he was desperate to graduate, and probably wouldn't have gone that far if he didn't have to. Framing you for the crime was only done to make it easier for him to get away with it, and because he knew that you'd be executed anyway. I'm not saying what he did is right; it's just that he's a pragmatic person who thought it was necessary, and didn't see anything wrong with it."
I nodded. If we were playing by the rules of a civilized society, he probably wouldn't have gone this far, if only because he didn't feel any need to. In the worst-case scenario, in which I was falsely convicted and sentenced to death, I would be the only other innocent who would have to die. Mom would spare no effort to overturn my conviction, but even if I ended up going to the gallows, she'd be the only person to lose a child over this miscarriage of justice.
"No, I understand," I said, "but he wronged the class as a whole, and myself and Kumakura-san in particular. I can accept that he's paid for his crimes against the group as a whole and forgive what he did to me, but what about Kumakura-san? He's dead, and so can't decide whether to forgive Kirishima-san."
Once again, the fact that I didn't know Kumakura-san very well bothered me. He seemed like a nice person, but he'd voted for all three killers, so he probably would have done the same with his own. But was it for the sake of survival or to punish the killer? I'd never know.
"I agree with Chiyuri," Himeno-san said. "I realize that there's no point in hating Yamazaki-san for killing Kanae now that he's dead, but can I forgive him on her behalf? I'm not so sure."
"I... I see," Tatsuki-san said. "As I thought, Kojima-kun will never forgive me."
I almost laughed at how Tatsuki-san had put it. She had killed him, so she wasn't wrong to feel guilty about that, but all the tragedy at the costume party had started because of Kojima-san. If Taiga-san had been the victim and Kojima-san had been the killer, Taiga-san would probably be faced with the question of whether she could forgive Kojima-san, rather than forgive herself.
"Maybe not, Tatsuki," Himeno-san said, "but it would be hypocritical of him to hate you without acknowledging his attempt to kill your sister. As for the rest of us, I have noticed that you have changed for the better, and are willing to give you another chance."
"I feel the same way," I said. "I think we all realize by now that we don't gain anything when someone gets executed apart from avoiding death. Just be grateful for your extended lease on life, and make the most of your time."
"Thank you, both of you," Tatsuki-san said. "I'll do my best."
We had dinner together. Sayuri-san, apparently looking to lighten the mood, struck up a conversation.
"So, girls," Sayuri-san said, "the four of us are on a ship without any adult supervision whatsoever. What would you like to do that you couldn't get to do back home?"
"I honestly don't know," I said. "A lot of things that girls my age would like to do- going to parties, doing karaoke together, eating at a fast food joint- would require friends."
In other words, I wished I could invite the three of them out for such things, but didn't know if it would be possible. If we got back, it was likely that Talent High School would be shut down and we'd have to go back to our old schools... and that was the best-case scenario. Sayuri-san's school was in the same city as Talent High School, so it wouldn't be too hard to see her, but Himeno-san and Tatsuki-san lived in different prefectures from each other and from us.
"After Kanae and I were invited to come to Talent High School, we came up with a few ideas," Himeno-san said, "including some of the things Chiyuri mentioned. Considering our upbringing, there were a few other ideas, such as reading manga, working at a part-time job, staying up late and wearing casual clothes, especially anything made of denim."
"Good plans," Tatsuki-san said. "How have you been faring with those?"
"Let's see..." Himeno-san said. "I did read some of Sayuri's manga in the lounge, and have actually finished all the tankobon volumes. I stayed up late sometimes, but only on the times when we had trials that ran late into the night. I briefly worked part-time under Chiyuri at the bookstore on the last island. As for denim, I did wear overalls to the island, so that my hakama wouldn't get covered in mud."
I was struck by a sudden burst of inspiration.
"That reminds me," I said. "You three still have your overalls, right?"
"Yes, I do," Tatsuki-san said. "I got three pairs- one each from my and Taiga's costumes, and one from the farmer costume. I gave one pair to Sayuri-san, another to Himeno-san and kept the third pair for myself."
"Great," I said. "Since I found some overalls on the third island, let's hold an informal Denim day tomorrow. All of you are free to wear button-down shirts and overalls, if you'd like a day to take a break from your uniforms and wear matching outfits."
As the others agreed, I actually smiled. We'd endured so much death and tragedy thus far, but it was nice to actually plan something fun for a change.
I stopped by my cabin and saw that Monokuma had dropped off my suit- a dark skirt suit with a white button-down shirt, just like Mom's, but with a matching black necktie. I took an early shower, and after getting out, changed into my suit instead of my nightgown. As I looked myself over in the mirror, I smiled, since I knew that while I wasn't an adult just yet, I at least looked the part.
I then decided to visit Mom. Since money could often be a bit tight at our house, Mom had suggested that I wear a suit instead of a kimono for Coming of Age Day, as well as for my college entrance ceremony, since I could also wear it to job interviews or work. Since I had no way of knowing whether I would make it to either milestone I wanted to treat her to the sight of her daughter in a suit while I still could.
"You look nice, Chiyuri," Mom said "Business attire really suits you- no pun intended."
"Thanks, Mom," I said. "If I do become a teacher, I guess I'll wear this every day... but maybe not the tie."
"It depends on what school you work for," Mom said. "Some places require you to wear a suit, while others are more casual. In the latter, it may be more appropriate for you to wear a blouse with a skirt or trousers, or a casual dress. If you're overdressed, you may not face any consequences, and it's likely that no one will say anything, but they will most likely judge you unfavorably."
The problem with unwritten rules was that the punishments were less formalized. At St. Mary's and other high schools, not wearing the uniform according to the standards would get you sent home to change, but if you were under- or overdressed for work, people might think less of you, even if they didn't say anything outright.
"So essentially I have a decision with right or wrong answers, but not much guidance," I said.
"That's what being an adult is all about," Mom said. "You're free to live your life as you see fit, but you're responsible for the consequences."
"I know," I said. "I guess the same goes for the killing game. The rules are minimal compared to at school, but the stakes are much higher."
In the case of an actual school handbook, such as Saint Mary's, twenty-odd rules wouldn't even cover the regulations relating to personal appearance. Of course, the worst punishment allowed in the school handbook(apart from cases that required the school to notify the police) was expulsion, and the death penalty wasn't mentioned, even as a joke.
"Quite true," Mom said. "Mistakes can be good learning experiences, so I personally think that children should be willing to experiment and take risks- within reason, of course- while they're still young so they can learn from them."
"That's an apt way of putting it," I said. "Monokuma expects to teach us something on this cruise, but will also punish most infractions with summary execution. His methods of teaching are certainly different than yours."
"That they are," Mom said, "but I also believe that when it comes to teaching how to live your life, it's best to show, rather than tell. Children are intelligent enough to read between the lines and learn by example, so you should trust them to do just that. You turned out just fine, Chiyuri, so I'd at least like to say that I played a role in that."
"I'm sure you did, Mom," I said.
Despite saying what I had, I wasn't sure just how "good" of a person I had become.
I said good night to Mom, returned to my cabin, changed out of my suit and into my nightgown, said my prayers and went to bed.
Monokuma Theater
Ever heard of "Death of the author?"
Basically, it means that the interpretation the work's creator intends doesn't have any more weight than the one the average Joe reading it comes up with...
...which is great, 'cause I don't have any idea what I'm doing when I write these.
Day 27
I woke up once again, then went about getting dressed. I was halfway through putting on my skirt when I remembered my plans for the day, and put on my overalls instead.
It was surprising how old habits died hard, even in the killing game. The only adult authority figure was locked away deep in the bowels of the ship, and our schedules were completely blank apart from what Monokuma dictated, but most of us wore our uniforms (or their equivalents) every day and generally ate, slept and did various other activities at the same time. It seemed as though our routines were the only thing we could cling to in times like these.
There would be rain for much of the day, so we couldn't really spend any time on the deck. Apart from that, I hoped that today would be a relatively quiet day for once, just like yesterday had been.
I headed to the dining hall and sat with the other girls, whose outfits matched mine.
"So the rest of you are taking part, too," I said. "Thanks, girls; it's like we're a quartet of farm girls."
"I reckon I should be the one thankin' you, Miss Nagato," Himeno-san said in an exaggerated country accent. "Y'all gave me an excuse to do what I always wanted."
The rest of us gaped at Himeno-san for a moment, at which point she broke down giggling, and we followed suit.
"Oh, I must apologize," Himeno-san said. "That was unlike me."
"I'll say," Tatsuki-san said. "I'm guessing that you can't act like this at home, right?"
"Not at all," Himeno-san said. "I was expected to use formal speech when talking with my parents and our guests. Kanae was expected to do so with her 'betters'- in other words, virtually everyone else. We're also expected to dress well at home, even when Kanae's 'off-duty' as a maid and doesn't wear her kimono, so we obviously can't wear overalls, jeans or even pants."
Himeno-san was painfully aware that social castes could exist even in democratic societies, in which everyone was ostensibly equal. As such, it was both amazing and fortunate that she'd turned out as well as she had.
"Wow," Sayuri-san said. "I guess it would be a pretty scary experience if I went to meet your parents?"
"Not as much as you might expect," Himeno-san said. "You seem like a reasonably polite and respectful person, so you'd do just fine as long as you dress well and remember to call me 'Himeno-san' around my parents; I'm fine with 'Himeno-chan' or even 'Himeno', but don't recommend that you do so in earshot of my parents or siblings. Apart from that, my parents only ask that anyone who befriends their daughter be a respectable individual... although their standards would be much higher if you wanted to marry me."
Himeno-san tried to play it off as a joke and Sayuri-san laughed, but for a moment, it seemed as though Himeno-san was serious about it... for better or worse. Maybe she was interested in Sayuri-san, but if she was, she'd named the biggest obstacle to their relationship- the Himemiya family. A part of me wanted to tell Himeno-san that Sayuri-san loved her, or suggest to Sayuri-san that her feelings were reciprocated, but if neither of them was ready to move forward, then it would be foolish of me to try to force one or both of them to confess.
Monokuma didn't show up at all that day, so Higurashi-san and I didn't have much to report when we stopped by Mom's cell after breakfast. Mom then joked that she didn't have anything to talk about, either.
"By the way, Chiyuri," Mom said, "I see you're once again in casual attire."
"I hope you don't mind," I said. "The girls and I decided to wear matching clothes today and take a break from what we usually wear. Himeno-san was particularly enthusiastic, since she can't do anything like this back home."
"It's perfectly fine," Mom said. "I imagine that you get tired of your uniform sometimes; there are days when I wish Talent High School had Casual Fridays or something similar. Besides, the 'school trip' aspect went out the window the moment Monokuma took over."
I nodded in agreement. While part of the reason why I called Mom "Nagato-sensei" at school was out of respect for her position as our teacher, those were rules that were set in place by our school, and that respect was for a position that had no power in this killing game. In truth, while I could get used to calling her "Nagato-sensei," I felt more comfortable calling her "Mom."
"Speaking of school trips," I said. "I wish we could've just come together on a normal trip with the seventeen of us- no Monokuma, no school rules, just a fun vacation for a class of students and their teacher."
I realized I was including Asakura too, but I knew I could just steer clear of him. He probably wouldn't have been as much of a jerk if not for the killing game placing stress on all of us and causing us to distrust one another.
"Me too," Higurashi-san said, "but that would mean including the traitor, wouldn't it?"
"I believe so," I said. "I don't know why they betrayed us or even what role they played in setting it up, but maybe it didn't have to come to this. It probably sounds like wishful thinking, but..."
"No, I understand," Mom said. "As a teacher, it's difficult for me to suspect any of my students, let alone my daughter. I imagine that it isn't any easier for you to do the same for your mother or your friends."
I thought for a moment about the word "friends." While it definitely didn't apply to Asakura, and probably didn't apply to Karita-san, I could happily consider Himeno-san, Sayuri-san and Tatsuki-san to be friends, like I had with Akira-san, and I got along well with Kurogane-san and Higurashi-san. In that regard, my life had changed for the better since the start of the killing game, and while nothing was worth the price we'd paid to get this far, I could at least see the change as a good thing.
I met up with Kurogane-san in the lounge. He was reading a book on go strategies, probably trying to keep himself sharp. If I became the best there was at anything I was passionate about, I'd also do what I could to avoid losing those skills.
"Hello, Nagato-san," Kurogane-san said. "That's a pretty nice outfit coordination plan you girls had going today."
"Thank you, Kurogane-san," I said, "although we had something similar on our last day on the third island. The only difference was that back then, two thirds of us took part."
"Well, we guys would try to follow suit, but for two things," Kurogane-san said. "First, we don't have any matching outfits, apart from the suits we got for the next island."
I chuckled softly, but realized Kurogane-san was getting to the point.
"And second," Kurogane-san said, "we don't have nearly as strong of a sense of unity. I like and respect Higurashi-kun, even if we aren't quite close friends, but that's more than I can say for the other two."
"That's putting it mildly," I said.
"It certainly is," Kurogane-san said, "but for all of Asakura-kun and Karita-kun's faults, they haven't betrayed our trust or tried to kill anyone...unlike some people I can name."
I paused for a moment, unsure of whether it would be better to assume I knew what he meant or actually ask..
"Do you mean Tatsuki-san?" I said.
"I actually had Kojima-kun in mind," Kurogane-san said. "Surprisingly enough, I feel more conflicted about him than anyone who actually ended up killing people."
Kurogane-san's point spoke for itself. Tatsuki-san and Akira-san both regretted their actions, which were motivated by a desire to protect a loved one and purely accidental, respectively. As for Yamazaki-san and Kirishima-san, their murders weren't justified, but we could understand why they felt they had no other choice.
"Because you don't understand why he did what he did?" I said.
"That's right," Kurogane-san said. "I would probably feel betrayed if Kojima-kun had ended up being the blackened, but if he'd told us why he'd killed someone in order to graduate, at least I would feel a sense of closure after his execution. But since he was killed, the only answers I can expect are the ones I come up with by myself... and they aren't very pleasant ones."
The facts available to us seemed to tell the story- Kojima-san was willing to kill Taiga-san (and possibly Tatsuki-san) in order to save himself and Akira-san. Everyone else's lives would have been sacrificed, including Kurogane-san, the person who was closest to Kojima-san. If he'd set out to graduate, he must have willingly accepted the consequences that would result from that. Tatsuki-san knew that, too, which was why after making the same mistake, she was willing to go so far to atone for it.
"I... wish I could put a more positive spin on this," I said, "but your conclusion isn't necessarily wrong. In the end, it's up to you to reconcile your good memories of Kojima-san and his misdeeds, and decide what you think about him."
"I'll do just that," Kurogane-san said. "Thank you, Nagato-san."
I smiled and said "You're welcome, Kurogane-san," and thought about the person I was closest with among the dead- Akira-san. Her death had been tragic, but she'd made good use of her last minutes, charging us with ending the killing game. Perhaps the others weren't as affected by her passing as I was, but at the very least, I had this one last memory of her to treasure, and knew I could remember her fondly.
At dinner, the eight of us ate together. As we did, it was easy for me to see a greater sense of camaraderie at the girls' table than at the boys' table... which wasn't saying much.
Eventually, just after the girls had finished, I heard a conversation begin at the boys' table, which was a few meters away.
"So, we got another digit to the passcode today," Asakura said. "I guess that means one more murder and Monokuma will let us into the bridge?"
"Assuming he can be believed, yes," Higurashi-san said, "but while I admit that another murder may happen, I have no intention of simply letting it happen."
"Big talk, coming from you," Asakura said. "You sure did a swell job of preventing the last four murders."
I then stood up and took a few steps toward Asakura, causing the other girls to look at me with concern written all over their faces. A part of me knew I'd likely come to regret this, but I felt as though I had to do something.
"Please, Asakura-san," I said. "It's fair to criticize Higurashi-san, but it would help if you shared your input on what you think we should do."
"That's hilarious!" Asakura said as he stood up and walked toward me. "Did you forget that you're one of the top three suspects for the traitor on my list, along with Higurashi and Karita?"
"Perhaps you don't trust me," I said, "and I can't fault you. But I would like to do right by all the people here, even you."
"So you can stab me in the back later?" Asakura said. "You might've fooled Azuki into thinking you belong here with us, but unlike her, I'm not a stupid bit-"
Before I knew it, I'd closed the remaining distance between us and punched Asakura in the face.
Asakura staggered back for a moment, his nose starting to bleed, but raised his fist, half out of anger and half out of reflex and sent it speeding towards my face like a bullet. I tried to move out of the way, but his fist landed a glancing blow on my cheek. Before he could retract his fist, I punched him again in the largest target available- his chest, and we started exchanging blows to the torso.
Asakura's fists didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought, probably due to the mix of adrenaline and rage that was pushing me onward. I'd felt this way on only one other occasion in my life- the time I'd gotten into a fight with one of my bullies, who'd claimed my mom was a prostitute and asked me to "share" my mom's earnings with her. That anger and resentment had always been a part of me; I'd merely kept it under control most of my life. If Akira-san hadn't intervened during my last argument with Asakura two weeks and islands ago, I'd have probably lost control back then.
Within moments, the rest of us moved to break up the fight and separate the combatants. I felt myself being yanked back by my suspenders, making me briefly regret choosing to wear something with straps that could be pulled on. The other girls crowded around me, partly to protect Asakura from me, and partly to protect me from him, while Kurogane-san and Karita-san held on to Asakura. Higurashi stood between us, willing to take the next blow if Asakura or I broke free.
"That's enough, you two!" Higurashi-san said. "The last thing we need right now is petty conflicts like this!"
I went limp, and the other girls loosened their grip a little, albeit remaining prepared for sudden movements. Meanwhile, Asakura also stopped trying to break free, and the other boys backed off.
"Are either of you hurt?" Higurashi-san said, as he glanced at Asakura. From what I could tell, Asakura had a few bruises and a bloody nose, but his teeth were undamaged.
As Higurashi-san stepped closer to better examine Asakura, Asakura slapped Higurashi-san's right arm away.
"Get your hands off me," Asakura said, before grabbing a napkin from the table for his bloody nose and rushing off to his room.
As the other girls released me, knowing I wouldn't go after Asakura, I collapsed to my knees and a tear streaked down my cheek. The fury within me, a fire that fueled my attacks and burned away my inhibitions, had been extinguished. Now that it was gone, I was now starting to feel the injuries I'd received, as well as a keen sense of regret.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." was all I could say.
"We'll... talk about this later," Higurashi-san said. "Ladies, could you please take Nagato-san to the nurse's office?"
The girls collectively nodded, and Himeno-san helped me to my feet before leading me below decks.
The girls took me to the nurse's office and looked me over. I had a few bruises on me, but luckily, all my teeth were intact. Tatsuki-san and Sayuri-san picked up some supplies and went to check on Himemiya-s
"Are... are you mad at me?" I said, sounding more like a six-year-old than a sixteen-year old.
"Do you want me to be?" Himeno-san said. "I could yell at you if that would make you feel better, but I'm not sure I could do so wholeheartedly."
"Why not?" I said.
"I suppose it's because I can't judge you," Himeno-san said. "If Asakura-san had insulted Kanae or Sayuri that way, I'd certainly have lost my temper. As for you, Akira and Tatsuki, the odds of my lashing out aren't quite as high, but Asakura-san wouldn't want to bet on me keeping my cool."
I'd heard that longer odds meant larger payoffs, but couldn't tell what Asakura hoped to gain through saying such hurtful things.
"I... I understand," I said. "You're certainly honest."
"I hope you don't take not being in the 'certainly' category personally," Himeno-san said. "I think of you three as my friends, so I wouldn't take kindly to Asakura-san badmouthing any of you, even if I might not go so far as to hit him."
"No, it's fine," I said. "I just noticed that you put Sayuri-san in the same category as Tsukimura-san."
As Himeno-san blushed, Higurashi-san stopped by.
"Ah, hello, Nagato-san," Higurashi-san said. "How are you?"
"She's bruised but doesn't have any serious injuries," Himeno-san said. "What about Asakura-san?"
"I ran into the other girls on the way back," Higurashi-san said, "and they told me that Asakura-kun refuses to speak with anyone. I'm worried about leaving him to his own devices, especially since he's rooming with Karita-kun, who was grinning rather unsettlingly when Nagato-san first punched Asakura-kun."
I recalled my first meeting with the Cabin M4 boys, and how Karita-kun had derived a certain amount of schadenfreude from Akira-san badmouthing Asakura. I had to admit that I had, too, so it would be hypocritical of me to judge him, but I realized that Karita-san, like me, put on a façade for the sake of others and hid his true nature. His conflict with Asakura was a cold war of sorts, but he still hated his cabin mate.
"By the way, Nagato-san," Higurashi-san said, "I spoke with Nagato-sensei... your mother... about this, and she wants to see you. She's not angry with you, she just wants to talk things over."
"I... I see," I said. "And what about you? At this point, I feel I should tender my resignation as your assistant."
"That won't be necessary," Higurashi-san said, "since Asakura-kun was also at fault in this dispute. Just be more mindful of your actions in the future, and there won't be any need to punish you."
I nodded.
"Thank you very much," I said. "I won't let you down again."
I bowed as deeply as I could without tipping over, in a mixture of gratitude and apology. Higurashi-san was no longer as idealistic as he had been at the start of the killing game, but he was still a kind and forgiving young man, so I owed it to him to repay him for this second chance.
I went down to see Mom. She greeted me with a concerned expression, seeing a large bruise on my face that wasn't there when I saw her this morning.
"Good evening, Chiyuri," Mom said. "Higurashi-san told me what happened at dinner. Are you all right?"
"Yes, Mom," I said. "Apart from a few bruises, I'm fine."
Mom smiled, then sighed.
"As your mother, I'm disappointed in you," Mom said. "I taught you better than to raise a fist against a classmate in anger. You should have known better."
"Yes, ma'am," I said. "I'm sorry."
Mom paused for a moment.
"However, I will say two things," Mom said. "First, I would give a similar punishment to Asakura-san if I were his mother, both for provoking you and for fighting back. Knowing her, I sure his mother would do the same."
"You know his mother?" I said.
"She's a coworker of mine," Mom said, "as the secretary to the headmistress of Talent High School. She's always been polite to me, but we keep things purely professional."
I faintly giggled, knowing that the apple had fallen quite far from the tree. I could only imagine how her son had turned out the way he had.
"And now for the second thing," Mom said. "I'm fully aware that I've asked a lot of you during your time at Talent High School- to treat me as your teacher while school is in session, to respect someone who refused to respond in kind, to get along with schoolmates who scorn you for something that was my fault, and to treat others better than they treat you. All this, before the killing game even began."
"I know, Mom," I said, "but I chose to come to Talent High School. I wanted to be seen as special for some reason other than that I was an illegitimate child, and to be of some use to you. I chose to strike Asakura. I need to take responsibility for my actions."
"That's fair enough," Mom said, "but it's also only fair that with the standards on you as high as they are, I shouldn't be too harsh on you for one instance of you losing control and acting in anger, especially when Asakura-san was also at fault."
I nodded, then sat up and listened to attentively to what Mom would have to say
"Therefore, as punishment, I expect you to write an apology letter to Asakura-san," Mom said. "The length matters less than its sincerity, but I would recommend no less than two paragraphs and no more than two pages. Likewise, there's no specific deadline, but I'd like you to do it as soon as possible- by breakfast the day after tomorrow, at latest- and show it to me before you deliver it to him. Does this sound like a fair request?"
"Yes, ma'am," I said.
"Good," Mom said. "You have your homework, so I'll let you get to it."
I got up, said "Good night, Mom," and left.
I went to the warehouse for some supplies, and saw Tatsuki-san inside.
"Hello, Chiyuri-san," Tatsuki-san said. "What do you need?"
"Some supplies," I said. "I'd like some foundation to cover up the bruise on my face. More importantly, I'd like stationery and an envelope for an apology letter to Asakura."
"Leave it to me," Tatsuki-san said. "Even if I'm the Ultimate Guitarist, I'm not a natural beauty, so I know a thing or two about good makeup that works well on camera."
Tatsuki-san showed me to the section where the makeup was being kept. She helped me pick out a good brand and taught me how to apply it. Afterward, she showed me to the office supplies section, where I found some proper stationery to use to write the letter, as well as an envelope to use for it. If I was going to apologize, I wanted to do it properly, and using a piece of paper from my notebook would be as inappropriate as a fancy restaurant using paper plates and plastic silverware.
"Well, there you go," Tatsuki-san said. "How's the foundation working?"
"Quite well," I said. "Thank you for the help, Tatsuki-san."
"You're welcome," Tatsuki-san said. "Unfortunately, you're on your own when it comes to your apology... at least making one that Asakura-kun will accept. He and I never got along even before I killed Kojima-kun, so there's nothing I can say or do to earn his forgiveness."
"'Say or do,' huh?" I said. "You know, Tatsuki-san, I don't think I've ever heard you apologize for what you did... but I have heard you express how much you've wanted to make up for it. I guess what I'm trying is that I know you're sorry, even if you haven't said 'I'm sorry,' you know?"
"That's very perceptive of you," Tatsuki-san said. "It's because an apology feels rather hollow and insincere on its own, as if I'm trying to mollify the one I hurt rather than make amends."
I paused to think. Tatsuki-san's point rang true, since while I regretted getting into a fight with Asakura, I was still angry with him over his insulting Akira-san, so I mainly cared about avoiding future trouble with him.
"Well, you're not completely wrong," I said, "but an apology's about expressing your regrets, and it's up to the other person to grant you forgiveness. Why not give me a shot?"
Tatsuki-san nodded, then took a deep breath and bowed deeply.
"Thank you very much, Nagato-san," Tatsuki-san said, in a formal tone. "I would like to apologize to you for my killing Kojima-san, and for my subsequent attempt to graduate. It was a cowardly and selfish action that cost Kojima-san and my sister their lives, and endangered the rest of the group. I may not be able to earn your forgiveness, but I would give anything, including my life, to take back my decision. Failing that, I will be willing to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to protect this class."
I smiled, then laid a hand on Tatsuki-san's shoulder.
"Apology accepted, Tatsuki-san," I said. "Please stand up."
Tatsuki-san complied, teared up and gave me a faint smile. She would continue to feel guilt over killing Kojima-kun and causing her sister's death for as long as she lived, but knowing that someone had forgiven her would help soothe the pain and make it more bearable. If Tatsuki-san could endure that pain, then I hoped that the killing game would never break her.
I returned to my cabin and got started on the letter of apology. I knew I couldn't realistically expect to succeed, but if I had to do it, I might as well make a sincere effort.
I began with the salutation. I had to check the list of students on my handbook (which had updated to show which ones were deceased) to look up his first name, since I didn't trust my memory of hearing it once. At least with people like Himeno-san, Sayuri-san and the twins, Akira-san had called them by their first names enough that I remembered them when I switched to first names.
Dear Yuichi Asakura-sama,
After writing that down, I realized that I'd finished one of the only two easy parts of the letter. The next was the point of the letter- the apology. I considered beginning with "Please accept my apology," but recalled what Tatsuki-san had said. His view of me was no better than mine- which was odd, since he hated a(admittedly repentant) murderer less than someone who'd unwittingly taken his title and punched him in the face, it would be foolish to take his forgiveness for granted.
I would like to apologize for hitting you. It was shameful of me to lose my control and act so irrationally and violently. Regardless of what motivated me, nothing justifies striking a classmate, and I take full responsibility for the fight that I caused.
While I honestly felt awful about the whole episode, I also knew that even Asakura had to admit that he'd provoked me. Of course, I knew that I couldn't hold his hitting back against him; the only thing I begrudged him for was what he'd said about Akira-san.
In the killing game, too many of us have given in to our baser instincts, being willing to harm our classmates, or otherwise see them come to harm, for our own benefit. Our only hope of overcoming it is to be enlightened enough to put the group's well-being over our individual desires, and not solve our problems with violence. My selfish actions were a disservice to our collective effort, and I will endeavor to do better for the sake of the group.
As much as I dearly wanted to add "not yours" to the end of it I realized this would defeat the purpose. I didn't like Asakura, but antagonizing him in an apology note would be utterly tactless.
I do not expect you to forgive me for harming you, but I hope that you understand that I am truly sorry for my disgraceful behavior. I wish you a swift recovery from the injuries I caused, and hope you will escape from this killing game alive.
I'd said all I needed to, so I signed the letter with "Sincerely, Chiyuri Nagato." I then took the envelope, wrote "Yuichi Asakura-sama, Cabin M-4, Ursa Major" on the front, and my name on the back.
I realized it was getting a bit late, and the Night Time announcement had played while I was writing the letter, so I decided to call it a night. I was tired enough that after getting into my nightgown and saying my prayers, I fell asleep almost immediately upon getting into bed.
Monokuma Theater
Step 1: Make a load of cash
Step 2: Find a profitable way to invest said load of cash.
Step 3: Make an even bigger load of cash.
Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3.
Day 28
I woke up a bit early today, and put on my uniform this time. Immediately after getting dressed, I took my letter and the envelope with me and went down to Mom's cell. Luckily for me, Mom was as early of a riser as she was on the days she worked as a teacher, so she was dressed and ready to see me.
I showed her the letter, and she nodded approvingly.
"That's very good, Chiyuri," Mom said. "Please deliver it to Asakura-san as soon as you can."
"Will do, Mom," I said, as I put the letter into the envelope and sealed it.
Mom smiled warmly. Earning Asakura's forgiveness wasn't a realistic proposition, but by extending an olive branch, I'd earned Mom's forgiveness.
"I guess that's it for this morning meeting," I said. "Unless something comes up, I'll stop by in the evening."
"As always, I appreciate your reports," Mom said. "Until then."
I said goodbye to Mom for now, then took the elevator back up. When I thought about it, seeing Mom in the mornings and evenings wasn't too different from most days when I had school and she had work. The only difference between then and now was the possibility that one or both of us might perish between our morning and evening meetings, and never see each other again.
At breakfast, I walked over to the boys' table, and approached Asakura.
"What do you want, Nagato?" Asakura said as he turned around to face me
I bowed deeply, extending the letter to him as I did, and said "I'm so sorry, Asakura-san."
Asakura took the letter from me, opened it up, and glanced at it for a moment. My letter was short, but I doubted he could have read all of it in the second between when he opened it up and started to tear it to shreds.
"Please stop, Asakura-kun!" Higurashi-san said. "Nagato-san may have wronged you, but the least you can do is read her apology."
"Yeah," Karita-san said. "At the very least, it's not such a good idea to litter all over the dining hall floor.
Asakura nodded, then got up and left. After he was gone, I sat down with the other girls.
"How's your face, Chiyuri-chan?" Sayuri-san said.
"It's feeling a little better," I said.
"I'm glad to hear that," Sayuri-san said.
I nodded and thanked Sayuri-san for her concern.
"If you don't mind my asking, Sayuri-san," I said, "would I have been fired if Asakura and I had gotten into a fistfight at your studio?"
"Probably," Sayuri-san said, "but it would never have come to that. Asakura-kun wouldn't have made it past the job interview with his attitude, even if he was an amazing assistant."
Himeno-san glanced at Sayuri-san, seeming not entirely convinced by what she'd heard.
"I believe the same would be true if Chiyuri were a maid and Asakura-san were a butler," Himeno-san said, "but most people have the ability to disguise their true natures. One of the head maids is harsh with her subordinates, and berated Kanae for even minor mistakes, but is incredibly respectful, even sycophantic, around my family. Asakura-san must have some at least some ability to hide his true nature... but chooses not to practice it."
Maybe that was why Asakura hated Karita-san so much, since while he was open about his disdain for others, Karita-san was willing to pretend to be friendly. Alternatively, Asakura-san might have seen some signs of Karita-san's true nature that we'd missed, and despised him all the more for his dishonesty. In any case, the two mixed like oil and water, and it was a wonder they hadn't killed each other by now.
"Do you think that practicing that ability makes him dishonest?" I said.
"It is what it is," Himeno-san said. "If you saw me at home, I'm sure that you'd be disgusted by how fake my behavior would seem to you."
"I'm the last person who should judge you," I said. "For years, I acted like a good girl, hiding my bitterness and anger toward those who spread rumors about me or refused to give me a chance. Akira-san was the first person besides Mom that I really cared about, and one of the few people whose death truly affected me. The me who punched Asakura was the me who I really am. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I'm a better person than I really am."
"You're better than Asakura-san, I'll give you that," Himeno-san said.
I chuckled.
"That's not much of a relief," I said.
"I know," Himeno-san said, "but I did mean it. Besides, Chiyuri, I do think that you've become more honest with yourself, and do appreciate this side of you more."
As the others nodded in agreement, I thanked them. There weren't many who unconditionally accepted me for who I was, so I would treasure my bonds with those people forever. I couldn't help but wonder if one of them was hiding their true nature, as well as their role as the traitor, but I quickly put those thoughts out of my head. Not only was it not pleasant to have to doubt my friends, but if we pursued the traitor, it might very well lead to an innocent bystander being killed, much like Tsukimura-san had been.
I took the dishes to the kitchen, and saw Higurashi-san staring intensely at the sink, which could easily fit several cups, plates and sets of silverware in its large rectangular bowl.
"Here's my and the other girls' dishes, Higurashi-san," I said.
"Thank you, Nagato-san," Higurashi-san said. "Please put them over there for now."
Higurashi-san pointed to the counter, and I placed the dishes there. I noticed some burnt materials inside the sink, as well as a gasoline lighter by the side of the sink.
"What's inside the sink?" I said.
Higurashi-san laughed nervously.
"Your apology letter," Higurashi-san said. "I suppose... this is Asakura-kun's way of rejecting it."
"You could say that," I said. "I can understand if he's still angry with me, but this is low even for him. Mom didn't condone my getting into a fight with him, but my letter got her seal of approval, so he should at least have taken the time to properly read it."
"Indeed," Higurashi-san said. "Wrongdoers are not necessarily entitled to the forgiveness of those they have wronged, but anyone who wishes to make a sincere apology deserves to be listened to."
In other words, while my apology letter had been a resounding failure as far as Asakura went, it had succeeded in helping repair Higurashi-san's trust in me.
"Speaking of which, I'd like your opinion on something," I said. "Politicians and other public figures often make public apologies, but people deride them as insincere or only for good PR. What do you think?"
Higurashi-san paused to think for a moment.
"There are many people who are like you describe," Higurashi-san said, "but others who genuinely regret what they've done and want to change their ways. I guess the way to tell the difference is to compare their words with their actions."
"Quite right," I said. "What if I told you I wasn't as good of a person as I tried to seem like?"
Higurashi-san shook his head.
"Maybe you do try to downplay your less admirable qualities," Higurashi-san said, "but overall, you've proven a trustworthy member of this class. You've made mistakes, as have most of us by this point, but you aren't a liar or a hypocrite. You're one of the ones I count on the most, and I'll need your help in the days to come."
"Thank you," I said. "I'll do my best."
At this point, I realized one of many factors behind my poor self-esteem for much of my life. I'd always tried to be someone I wasn't in order to be accepted by my peers, and felt guilty due to knowing that I wasn't that good of a person. Some of my schoolmates must have realized I was forcing myself, and probably dismissed me as a fake. With that in mind, it was hardly surprising I hadn't had many friends.
Now, however, things were different. Rather than try to be someone I wasn't, all I had to do was be the person my friends saw me as, a person they perceived as a result of my actions. Doing so was well within even my ability, so I resolved to be my best self from here on out.
I met up with Sayuri-san on the deck after breakfast.
"Hello, Chiyuri-chan," Sayuri-san said. "I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you being willing to apologize to Asakura-kun, despite, you know..."
"Thank you, Sayuri-san," I said. "Have you had any problems with him?"
"Not exactly," Sayuri-san said, "since he mostly seems to leave me alone. That being said, I can't forgive him for how he's treated my friend, especially since he won't apologize for it."
That was the sort of relationship I wanted to have with Asakura, albeit because it was all I could hope for. Of course, now that I'd made actual friends, it was disappointing to acknowledge that the most I could hope for from some people was "grudging tolerance..." and with others, I couldn't even expect that.
"On a related subject," Sayuri-san said, "Tatsuki-chan's been going around and apologizing to others."
Sayuri-san repeated Tatsuki's apology, which more or less was completely identical to the one I'd heard yesterday evening.
"Ah, yes, that's what she said to me," I said. "What do you think?"
"I think it'll be good for her to get that off her chest," Sayuri-san said. "Of course, we had a nice talk about apologies of various sorts. I think that there are times when you recognize you owe someone an apology, and times when you need to stick to your guns and insist you've done nothing wrong."
"What would count as an example of the latter?" I said.
Sayuri-san paused for a moment, realizing that as appalling as Asakura's behavior yesterday evening had been, I still owed him an apology for hitting him. As such, our dispute probably wasn't the example she was hoping for.
"There's a manga called Yuri Has Two Mothers," Sayuri-san said, "about a girl named Yuri who's the adopted daughter of a lesbian couple. A lot of social conservatives spoke out against it, saying it was promoting subversive ideals. The manga artist, a woman who's rumored to be in a lesbian relationship, said that in a couple decades, her critics would be in the ones who are in minority."
"Wow, that's bold of her," I said.
"I think of her as my role model in some ways," Sayuri-san said, "since while the story's less about romance and more about Yuri growing up in a world where same-sex couples are commonplace, the author is true to herself, even if some people hate her for it. My editor feels the same way, saying that while the publication I draw for has certain standards that must be met, I shouldn't try to please everyone, lest I end up not pleasing anyone. My goal is to write a good story that the target demographic will enjoy, and stay true to the vision that drew readers in."
While I wasn't a writer, I had to agree with Sayuri-san's perspective on artistic integrity. Magical Girl Sakura hadn't been nearly as controversial or quite as innovative as Yuri Has Two Mothers, but its fans agreed that it was made with genuine passion, and only the harshest critics said otherwise.
"You know, Higurashi-san said something similar," I said, "namely, that I should be true to myself."
"I think so, too," Sayuri-san. "The phrase 'be yourself' can be a bit of a cliché, and some cynical people think it's saying you don't have to improve, but I know better. I think it means being willing to change and improve yourself, but also becoming the person you want to be. In my case, I've always seen myself as a manga artist, which is why I've tried to hone my art and writing skills, so I can do as well as possible at that role"
"I agree," I said. "That's what I'll try to do from here on out."
I knew that there were many things that were beyond my ability, but at the very least, I had taken the first step toward changing myself. Maybe saying "nothing is impossible" was a cliché, not to mention unrealistic, but I realized I couldn't afford to be held back by what I thought was impossible anymore. From now on, I'd do what I could, knowing that it was usually better to try and fail than not to try.
At around noon, I spotted Asakura eating by himself in the dining hall, since no one else was willing to eat with him apart from our boys' and girls' tables. Wanting to avoid another encounter with him, I started sneaking back down the stairs to below decks, waiting for him to get done.
Before I got to the bottom of the stairs, I spotted Karita-san in the hallway, and he put a finger on his lips. I took a deep breath to calm myself, then descended to the bottom and got within a few paces of him.
"It's all right, Karita-san," I said in a voice that was soft enough that only he could hear me. "I won't scream."
"Glad to hear that," Karita-san said. "As someone who also doesn't want to get spotted by Asakura-kun, making a scene wouldn't help either of us."
Karita-san and I decided to head to the kitchen for the mean time. After confirming no one was around, I decided to ask him some questions.
"So, Karita-san, how has sharing a room with Asakura been for you these days?" I said.
"It's bearable," Asakura said. "We're still keeping with the system of dividing our cabin into thirds- his side, my side and the neutral zone, and don't cross into each other's side or step into the neutral zone at the same time. When we are in our cabin together, we don't really talk. The same went for after your fight with him last night; he just sat on his bed sullenly muttering to himself, and eventually calmed down enough to go to sleep."
"I've noticed that," I said. "It's almost like you two get along."
Karita-san winced, then shook his head. He seemed unflappable in the face of the killing game- maybe a little too unflappable- but I must have struck a nerve this time.
"You really think so?" Karita-san said. "You think that not talking to each other is better than bickering all the time?"
"I... I guess," I said. "It's better to at least tolerate each other than to argue all the time, right?"
"I'm not so sure," Karita-san said. "My mom had a falling-out with her sister and stopped talking to her when they were young adults. As for my folks, they argued all the time, but usually managed to make up. I'm not sure which relationship was more dysfunctional, but in the former case, nothing ever changed between my mom and my aunt."
To me, the most disturbing part of Karita-san's tale wasn't his feuding parents or the estrangement between his mother and maternal aunt- it was the fact that he referred to all his family members in the past tense. Had something happened to them even before he was invited to Talent High School, much less before the disasters that ravaged Japan and the rest of the world? If it had, it would explain why neither of his parents had said anything about their son becoming a criminal.
"Anyway, Asakura-kun and I know that we don't like each other, and if we talk, we'll end up fighting," Asakura-kun said, "which ended up happening the few times I tried to make conversation with him. So we pretty much keep to ourselves and share the room together, hoping we'll eventually get through this."
"I don't hold out any hope of you two getting along," I said, "but Cabin M1 is, um...vacant as of the last trial. Since there's now a 1:1 student-cabin ratio, might one of you want to move to M1?"
"No dice," Karita-san said. "I checked with Monokuma and he said students had to stick with the cabins they were assigned. Besides, one of the keycards to M1 is back with Kumakura-kun's body in the hospital, while the other is in Yamazaki-kun's execution chamber, which is inaccessible to students... even assuming the fire didn't cause the card to melt or otherwise become unusable."
I quickly checked my handbook and saw that Monokuma had added that rule. It was somewhat surprising that it had taken this long for one of the cabins to empty, something that would have happened at the end of the first trial, at earliest, or the next murder, at latest. It was very surprising that Asakura and Karita-san were the only pair of roommates who hated each other... and it was most surprising of all that they were the only pair that was still together at this point."
"Ah, right," I said. "I suppose it's only like Monokuma to put us in situations that might lead to us murdering each other."
"That's Monokuma's MO in a nutshell," Karita-san said. "He pushes people's buttons and gets what he wants. I know that he's dangerous, but I can't fault him for that, since we're not so different."
Asakura walked by the storage room, not noticing us, at which point Karita-san and I went to the dining hall and ate separately.
I'd always had a gut feeling that Karita-san was untrustworthy, and wondered why I felt that way. Maybe it was because his talent, one that encouraged him to lie and exploit others. Maybe it was his cynical and detached attitude to the killing game, something that his affable demeanor failed to completely hide. Maybe it was because he had at least one person who couldn't stand him and no one he seemed to care for, which meant he had no reasons to hesitate to graduate. So far, he hadn't betrayed our trust, but that didn't mean it was wise to place our trust in him.
Karita-san finished lunch first, and headed back down below decks without saying a word to me. A few minutes after he left, I finished eating, then washed my dishes. I returned to the dining hall and sat down, at which point I heard the sound of someone playing a guitar on the deck. I stepped outside and saw the one person possible- Tatsuki-san, who stopped playing as soon as she saw me.
"Please don't mind me," I said. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."
"Oh, no, it's not that," Tatsuki-san said. "I'm just worried that I'm out of practice, and don't want to embarrass myself in front of you."
Since I didn't have much of an ear for music, and hadn't heard much of Dragon Girl's music, it was hard to tell how much of Tatsuki-san's fears were well-founded and how much were self-deprecation. It was even harder for me to convincingly tell someone else about the quality of that performance, without a "Take my word for it" disclaimer.
"It sounds... fine," I said, "although I guess your standards are much higher than merely 'fine.'"
"They are," Tatsuki-san said. "l don't know when or where I will get to play next, but I'll need to practice if I want to avoid making a fool out of myself. What better time to start than now?"
I nodded approvingly.
"I still remember the last conversation I had with Kumakura-kun before he was killed," Tatsuki-san said. "He said that any worthwhile accomplishment requires hard work, discipline and the drive to improve yourself. If I don't want to go to seed as a guitar player, I'll need to practice, and if I want to live a worthwhile life, I'll have to work hard at being a good person. Of course, the former's a lot easier than the latter."
I had to agree. Unless you had some talent for solving the mysteries, then the most any good spotless could do was stay out of trouble and cooperate with the investigation. We knew that this was a matter of survival, not saving anyone, so Tatsuki would be hard-pressed to save anyone's lives just by being good.
"I know it's a lot more complicated," I said, "since there may not be a right answer as to what you can do. For now, though, I think that the first step is living well."
"Then I'll do just that, Chiyuri-san," Tatsuki-san said. "Please, have a listen."
Tatsuki-san nodded, then started playing from the beginning so that I could listen and evaluate her performance. I didn't notice anything too out of place, so maybe Tatsuki-san wasn't as rusty as she thought. My feedback wasn't nearly as useful as that of a music enthusiast or guitar instructor, but Tatsuki-san seemed to appreciate the performance and thanked me.
Dinner was mostly quiet tonight, with no one wanting a repeat of last night's drama, myself least of all. I noticed that Asakura wasn't at the boys' table, but Karita-san reassured me that he'd gone back to their cabin with some food. Karita-san's word wasn't the most credible, but Higurashi-san offered to verify it. Sure enough, Higurashi-san was able to confirm that Asakura was alive and well, and had eaten that evening.
Just before I retired to bed, Higurashi-san and I went to see Mom, telling him about Asakura burning my letter.
"I... I see," Mom said. "All I can say is that it's the thought that counts."
"True," I said. "It's a good thing I didn't expect him to respond in kind."
"Neither did I," Mom said. "I simply saw the apology as a way for you to be the better person. I'm obviously biased, but that's what you are compared to Asakura-san."
I chuckled. To my knowledge, Mom was more consistently polite than I was, so it was unusual for her to be so blunt.
"That's setting the bar fairly low," I said, "but thanks, Mom."
As Mom smiled and said "You're welcome," Higurashi-san had a concerned expression on his face, knowing that my attempt to apologize hadn't even come close to solving our current problem with Asakura.
"I'm a bit worried by this development, Nagato-san," Higurashi-san said. "Considering that Asakura-kun has a grudge against you, and considers you one of his top three candidates for the traitor, I suggest that you exercise caution around him. It is possible that at the next island, he may try to kill you, me, and/or Karita-kun."
"I'll second that, Higurashi-san," Mom said. "Chiyuri, please be careful. The last thing I want is for anything to happen to you."
"I will," I said.
"The same goes for you, Higurashi-san," Mom said. "If you get the chance, please pass the news along to Karita-san."
"Yes, ma'am," Higurashi-san said.
Higurashi-san and I said good night to Mom for the moment, but left her feeling uneasy. Even without a motive in play, tensions were already rising, so it would likely only take one small push for yet another murder to occur. There were only two questions- who would be the killer, and who would be the victim.
I retired to bed that night, but had trouble getting to sleep. My mind went back to all the people who had ever bullied or said mean things about me, Asakura most of all.
The idea that someone was willing to kill me was not entirely new, since I had imagined it ever since finding myself inside the killing game, but the idea that I was being specifically targeted made my skin crawl. Did he really hate me enough that he was willing to kill me? Was he so convinced I was the traitor, despite lacking any real evidence? And was he truly willing to murder a person with his own hands? Not even my former bullies would go this far, if only because some of them were popular girls who valued their images.
My escalating conflict with Asakura wasn't solely my problem, even if I'd had a hand in fueling the flames. If I was murdered, we'd be forced into another class trial, in which all our lives would be in danger. It would be arrogant of me to imagine that I was the only one who could solve the murder mysteries, since it wasn't true for Akira-san, either, but I wouldn't be able to help the others if I ended up dead myself.
Maybe this was why the traitor had chosen to play the game with all of us. They'd wanted to use their own life as the bait to incite us to murder, thereby leading Yamazaki-san to try to kill Karita-san, and end up killing Tsukimura-san to cover his tracks. Perhaps some of us thought that we'd be saved, or at least safe, if we killed the traitor, but I knew that the hunt for the traitor would cause more problems than it would solve. I was determined to put a stop to that witch hunt, even if I didn't know how.
Monokuma Theater
I've got a fake 10,000 yen bill right here. It's worthless, right?
But the thing is, it's such an excellent fake that no one knows that it's not real.
Not the guy who rings up my groceries.
Nor the lady at the bank.
Hell, I'm not even sure myself.
So there's only one question.
Even though it's fake, does that matter if no one thinks it is?
Author's Notes
This chapter shows a side of Chiyuri that she often keep repressed, and gradually gets her to be more open with herself. Keep in mind that while she does try to treat people well, she's also a slightly cynical individual who has a lot of pent-up bitterness over years of ostracism and even bullying for being the daughter of an unwed mother. You may recall that she snapped and got into a fight with classmate in elementary school (as she admits in Chapter III, Part 1), and the only thing that's changed is that she's learned to control her temper.
We're about two thirds of the way through the story, and there are eleven installments to go. Five of those will be in this Chapter, which may be a bit longer than the ones before it. This part got done a bit early, but the second part may not be out for a few weeks.
Incidentally, since there will be at least one murder, who do you think will survive? As a bit of advice, it would be a good idea to pick five to seven possible survivors, since there will be at least one more murder.
The omake shows a discarded apology letter draft that Chiyuri wrote to Asakura.
Edited to fix a typo and add a little about the suit.
Omake
While in the middle of writing my apology letter, I got out the stationery and wrote a more honest letter, channeling both my anger and the part of Akira-san that lived on inside me.
Asakura,
I'm sorry for hitting you in the face after what you said about Akira-san. I should have aimed at your crotch instead.
Of course, this is not even my greatest regret when it comes to you. That would be meekly staying quiet despite your rudeness and letting you walk all over me. There are doubtless many other people who enabled your unacceptable behavior, and they and I share responsibility for the person you have become.
There's one question that I've asked over and over since meeting you; "Does Asakura really hate me this much just because I got the same title he did?" Now, I think I know the answer. While you may or may not have technical support skills that are superior to my own, that doesn't mean you're necessarily more worthy of the title. Perhaps you're afraid that even if we got the same title, I'm more likely to keep mine.
Consider the Ultimate Lifeguard, a boy one year our senior. He adeptly proved his skills at rescuing people, but one time, he got distracted by a bikini-clad woman, resulting in a man almost drowning and being saved by a third party. Video of the incident was posted online, and he was quickly stripped of his title and expelled. All it takes is one offended customer posting about you on a blog entry to have a similar effect, and I can imagine a multitude of people eager to write the post that will end your career.
So no, you do not deserve the Ultimate Tech Support title. Talent High School deserves an Ultimate who will not bring shame to the school, and my classmates and I deserve a fellow student who will treat us with respect.
Go fuck yourself.
Chiyuri Nagato
I let off a smile as I felt the cathartic release of writing something like that, even though I knew better than to show it to him, since my goal was to make amends, rather than further antagonize him. Even if I decided to tell Asakura what I thought of him, I'd do so when I was calm enough to be polite, rather than merely vent my outrage at him. Instead, I hid it away in my desk and got to work on my actual letter of apology.
