Isabella

"I just don't understand!" I exclaimed. My head falls back over the arm and I sprawl out on the couch. "He can't just leave!" I scoff. "Wait… can he?" I turn my head towards Victoria, who has patiently listened the entire time, I've ranted about Edward.

"What do you think Bella?" she simply asks.

"What do I think about what?"

"Do you think it was fair of Edward to leave?"

I shrug my shoulders. "He promised that we would always be together- that he'd never leave. I was stupid enough to believe him." I mumble the last part under my breath.

"You didn't answer the question, Bella. Was it fair of him to leave?"

How was I supposed to respond to that? I didn't care about Edward. He could fuck himself in a hole for all I cared.

"Edward means nothing to me. He can do whatever he wants. I'm better off without him." I felt numb as the words poured out of my mouth. I fidgeted with the bracket in my wrist. I couldn't bring myself to take it off. Something was stopping me.

"Can you look me in the eyes and say it to my face?" She gathers my attention. I glance at her and quickly look away. She was doing her weird staring thing again. I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"There's no shame in admitting that you still care about Edward. It's normal for you to feel heartbroken and still have feelings for him. He's always been a huge part of your life."

"I've tried to let him go but every little thing reminds me of him. It's impossible not to think about him."

Victoria nods her head thoughtfully. "You're still wearing the bracelet he gave you."

I shrug and drop my hand. I've been twisting it around my wrist for the past twenty minutes. I tried taking it off but every time I was left feeling cold and empty. I know that this possibly can't be good. Our relationship wasn't the healthiest, I've heard about several times but I never really listened until now.

"You know he sat outside my room at two o' clock in the morning? I woke up to knocking on my window. He had climbed the tree in my backyard. Apparently he thought that was the best way to get my attention."

Edward left three days ago. He tried to say goodbye. He called, texted and of course I didn't respond. I mean… why would I? He's an actual idiot.

Victoria's mouth drops open just a little bit. "Di-did you tell your dad?"

"No." I shrug. "Charlie probably would have shot him. I don't want him dead. Besides… I could sue him for harassment. He claimed that I was holding him back but he doesn't leave me alone. He's a fucking stalker! "

"Isabella-"

"I just don't under-stand!" my voice cracked. "He promised we would always be together. I trusted him. I leaned on him for everything!" I sit up and cover my face with my hands. Snot was dripping down my nose and sobs broke from my chest. "Wha-what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, honey." She moved across the room and sat beside me. "Don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong." She hands me a box of tissues and rubs my back in soothing circles.

"Then why'd he leave?" I mumbled. "I gave him everything he wanted and he still left."

"There's nothing you could have done or said differently. He made this decision completely on his own. Don't ever try to change yourself. You're perfect just the way you are."

"I just want the pain to stop. Why can't somebody love me?" I whimpered in a meek voice. Victoria stares at me as if she's consoling a small child. I hung my head and didn't even attempt to wipe away the fallen tears.

Hours could've passed and I wouldn't have known. I eventually sit up but my body feels drained. It hurts to move, think, or do anything. My heart hurts the most if that's even possible. I didn't think this could get any worse than before.

"How are you feeling now?" Her voice is neutral, showing no emotion. "Sometimes all you need to do is let it out."

I shrug my shoulders. Tired. That's how I felt.

"What am I going to do?" My voice is hoarse. "Everybody's going to know and I-I can't go to school like this. They'll all attack me."

"Do you have anybody you can talk to?" she asks. "Perhaps a friend or your brother?"

Rosalie. I think. Rosalie will understand. She'll help me. She'll know what to do.

"Rosalie left yesterday to go back to school. She told me that I could call her for anything."

"Then how about you give her a call. It sounds like you girls are pretty close. If she meant what she said then I'm sure it's fine to call her."

I shrug my shoulders. I'm sure she was just saying that to be nice. Nobody actually wants to listen to my problems. That's what drove Edward away.

ooOoo

"Are you sure you're alright?" Charlie sighed. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and stared at me as if I was about to fall apart.

I slung my backpack over my shoulders and said, "I'm fine." for the billionth time.

"I can schedule an extra session with Victoria sometime this week if you'd like." he suggested.

I purse my lips and will myself to stay calm. I was going back to school today and Charlie was a nervous wreck. I have been calm- eerily calm and it had everyone on edge. It's like they were waiting for me to explode. I just learned to accept the fact Edward's gone and there's nothing I can do to change it.

"...Bella!" Charlie waved his hand in front of my face, gathering my attention. I spaced out… again.

"I've got to go." I grumbled. "Emmett's waiting for me." I zippered up my jacket and slammed the door shut in Charlie's face.

Why didn't they get it? I don't care about Edward anymore. I couldn't give a bigger fuck.

I hop in Emmett's car and shut the door. He gives me a look but doesn't question my attitude. He realized that it was best not to say anything. Everyone grieves in their own way and this was my way. Not everybody may think it's the healthiest but it's what worked for me.

Five minutes later Emmett pulls up in front of the school. I rest my hand on the handle but don't make any move to get out. Going to school was like being fed to a pack of hungry wolves. I wasn't ready to be eaten alive.

"It's only for six hours." I turn my head towards Emmett. "It's only for six hours and then I'll be here to pick you up at two o'clock." he says.

That's easy for him to say. Everyone loves him. He's practically a god in the eyes of Forks. No one would dare mess with Emmett.

"Edwards a dick. You don't deserve him."

I don't respond. I yank the door open and slam it shut behind me. People stare as I march into school with a blank look on my face. I don't care about Edward. Edward is nothing to me. I'm better off without him. I don't care about Edward.

I walk through the halls to my home room, ignoring all the curious looks. I greet the teacher with a small smile and take a seat in the back of the room. I stick my earphones in my ears and turn up the volume all the way until my ears were bleeding.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

One by one students start to trickle in and I remain mostly invisible. Nobody ever bothered me back here. I scoff to myself, knowing that this was just the beginning. Somebody was bound to say something but I would be ready. I wasn't going to let them tear me down again and again and again.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

Become so tired, so much more aware

By becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you

I smiled and laughed and joked around at everyone's snark remarks. They were waiting for me to crumble. My cheeks hurt from the constant smiling but as the day passed, my resolve was slowly being torn down. If I cried then I'd give them what they want and I wouldn't do that. Even if it killed me in the end.

Can't you see that you're smothering me?

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you

"Keep your head up, Bella." I whispered to myself. "Don't let them get to you." I walked into the lunchroom and immediately the comments started. I couldn't hear them but knew what they were. Some people stared at me in pity while others in cruelty. I held my head up high and had almost made it to the front of the room before it happened.

I froze in between the table of cheerleaders and football players and let out a gasp. A big glob of mashed potatoes landed on my face. It dripped from my chin onto my brand new shirt. It stuck in my hair and burned my skin. I clenched my hands into fists and my heart thudded in my chest. People were laughing. Everyone was pointing. I was crying and screaming. Everything hurt. Everything burned. Blood rushed through my ears and everything became blurry. I had to get away but I was frozen in place. I couldn't move. I was blinded by the hot tears running down my cheeks as I wiped away the clumps of potato. I had to get out of here.

Stop crying, Bella. Don't be a baby!

"C'mon Bella." there's a tug on my arm and suddenly I'm being dragged out of the cafeteria. It's not until we get around the corner of the hallway that I finally realize who it was.

Angela.

We enter the bathroom and dump our bags on the ground. She proceeds to wet a paper towel and wipe at the stain on my shirt. We're both silent and can barely look at each other but she continues to do everything she can to help. I don't know how long we spend in the bathroom but she gives me an extra shirt from her backpack and hairbrush. My hair was dripping wet because I just spent the last ten minutes trying to get mashed potatoes out of my hair. I lean against the stall and sink to the ground.

"Why?" is all I can say.

"They were tormenting you. They threw mashed potatoes at you and the look on your face…" she breathed. Her eyes well up with tears and she suddenly looks away. A lone tear falls down her cheek that she hastily wipes away. "I couldn't let them treat you like that. After everything you've been through…"

"I don't need saving-"

"I never said that you did. Everybody needs help sometimes."

"Not from you." I scoff. "When I needed help you weren't there. Whatever you're trying to do now is not gonna work."

"Just let me take you home Bella." she sighed. "We can tell the nurse that you're sick and I can drive you home. I know you must be hurting after what happened with Edward…"

"Just stop!" I roar. "Why can't you understand?" I push myself up off the floor and punch my fists against the wall.

I don't care about Edward. I don't care about Edward.

ooOoo

"R-rose." I cover my mouth with my hand to muffle the sounds of my crying. Emmett and Charlie were downstairs and I managed to escape to my room before they could stop me. I couldn't let them see me like this. I wouldn't.

"Bella?" her voice rang out in concern. The phone shook in my hand as I struggled to gain control.

"What's wrong, Bella." Her voice was firm leaving no room for excuses. There was shuffling in the background before it became quiet.

"E-every-thing." I hiccuped. "He broke up with me! Everyone knows and I just- I just can't go back! I ca-n't Rose-"

"Sweetie, take a breath. I need you to breathe for me. I don't understand what you're saying. You can't go back where?"

"Sc-school." I take a shaky breath before saying. "You don't know what they did to me. I can't go back there."

It's silent on the other end for a moment and I hear a door shut close. "Tell me what they did, Bella." she finally says.

I recount the entire day from start to now. The food incident, the sly remarks in the hallway, and Angela. I went back to class after lunch which was a fucking mistake. Angela said that I should've left. I should've fucking listened to her.

"And you're in your room now? In bed?" she wants to confirm. I humm a yes and snuggle deeper under the covers. The light hurt my head. Everything hurt my head. I wanted to stay in this darkness.

I think she sighs in relief. "Have you talked to your dad or Emmett about this?"

I shake my head no before realizing that she can't see me. "No." I whisper. "I haven't told them about it. I don't want to."

"Bella, they can help you-"

"I can't do it, Rose." I cut her off. My voice was firm and she knew that there was no other way to convince me.

"Then how about talking to Victoria?"

"I just had an appointment though…"

"There's no shame in going back for a second one. Sometimes we need help, Bella." her voice was soft and understanding.

I told everyone that I was fine. I was supposed to be fine. People don't freak out like this after a breakup. I'm unstable and a wreck and a freak and that's why nobody wants to be around me. I have too many problems.

"Bella, are you listening to me?" she huffs. "If you don't want to talk to Victoria just yet or Emmett or Charlie, how about you talk to Esme?"

"I can't tell her about me and Edward!" I cry. "That's w-weird! She's his mother!-"

"I don't mean about the breakup, honey." she tries to calm me down. "I'm talking about what happened at school today. She's always been here for you before, hasn't she?"

Rose was right. She was always right. I could talk to Esme. That wouldn't be weird would it? I'm supposed to go over there tomorrow anyways for tutoring. Carlisle's helping me get back on track with everything.

"I guess I could…" I think out loud.

"I'll always be here for you Bella." she says. "You know that right?"

"Yes." I say unconvincingly.

"Just try to stay… safe." she whispers. "Don't do anything you'll regret. I know that life seems tough right now but it won't always stay this way, alright?"
I don't believe her but I hum in agreement.

"Call me again in two days? I want to make sure you're alright."

Two days?! That was like a week away! It was almost as though she could feel my panic through the phone. I needed her. I needed her right now. I couldn't wait another two days!

"If it's urgent, then you can call or text me again but I want you to try to work through this with the people around you. You've got to give yourself more credit, Bella. You are one of the strongest people I know."

Strong? I'm not sure if that was the right word to use.

ooOoo

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, your support means so much to me! Going back to last chapter, somebody asked how many chapters I'm planning on doing. Right now my plan is to do about ten chapters for junior year which means I should write about another eight chapters and then ten chapters for junior year. Thats my plan at the moment so if I stick to plan (which I probably won't) the story may end at fifty chapters I believe (but who knows it may go longer or end shorter). Anyways I hope you all enjoy and have a good week! Thanks for reading!