Chapter Twenty-Three: Plans to Save a Life

Hawks wondered if fate was determined to make the people he cared about suffer. First he let slip about the Commission to Tokoyami, now… this.

Miruko has been ordered to infiltrate the Meta Liberation Army.

Miruko has been ordered to infiltrate the Meta Liberation Army by the Commission.

How did I let this happen?

Hawks was completely unsurprised that Miruko did a complete one-eighty after their talk. Instead of avoiding him, she stuck to him like a bee on honey and refused to leave his side when he would otherwise be alone. Hawks knew it was because she did not trust him not to run off to the Commission and sell his soul for her safety.

Her mission had not started yet. There was still time. He could save her from this, somehow.

Because there was no doubt in his mind that Miruko would face the same fate as his future self had if she accepted this mission.

Miruko had as much undercover work training as any Pro Hero.

Which was close to none considering she was a battle Hero specializing in public Villain take downs.

If she approached the Meta Liberation Army as she was, they would kill her, probably to send a message to the Commission or the public. Or both. There was no doubt about that considering they would not allow her to expose their top brass as the Villains they were. Based on Green's toneless info dumps, many members of the Meta Liberation Army were indoctrinated to the point of being fanatical and would kill people they had known for years if they so much as joked about Destro being a terrorist. That included their current leader, Re-Destro, who had murdered his own secretary for such a slight in the voices' timeline.

So Hawks had to either stop Miruko from going on this mission or somehow train her in the finer aspects of espionage in the short amount of time before it began. That included laying the groundwork for making a believable reason for her to want to join the Meta Liberation Army.

However, most of those reasons would have to be shown publicly for them to be believable, which could be a huge blow to Miruko's reputation considering how… controversial— and to some, outright treasonous— those reasons would have to be.

Hawks had no idea what she had done to piss off the Commission so badly, but it was clear they wanted her to suffer. In fact, he had a bad feeling the Commission would make her commit to her 'optional' mission even if he walked into their lab and offered his literal brain for them to pick apart.

So he sat in his office when he should have started patrol hours ago, his thoughts going a mile a minute as he tried to come up with a way to get Miruko out of the mess she'd found herself in. Again and again he glanced towards his phone and scrolled to the Commission President's number, but he never called her as Miruko's final words to him this morning echoed in his head.

"Don't call them. Don't try to meet with them. I mean it when I say I won't forgive you if you give yourself up for me. If I've pissed them off enough for them to do this, you know they'll keep on trying."

Hawks slumped in his chair and caught sight of his miserable reflection in his full cup of coffee. He looked away and rubbed his chest, which felt strangely tight.

I don't know what to do.

"I know the Commission can be cruel, but this is outrageous!" Silver exploded. "Miruko's mission makes no sense!"

"The Meta Liberation Army isn't even a threat at the moment." Green added, his frustration jabbing at Hawks like a scalpel to the head. "They've been stewing underground for years and didn't get a reason to head back into the spotlight until after All Might retired. There's no reason to send Miruko after them now. If the Commission wanted to take them down, they could use other resources."

They don't care about taking the MLA down. They want to take down Rumi as cruelly and humiliatingly as possible, Hawks thought. The MLA is just the convenient gun they're pointing at her head. He hunched over his cooling cup of coffee and gripped his hair. Please, is there anything you know from your past that would explain why they're gunning for her?

"Nothing. We did not know her well." Red said sadly. She hesitated, reluctance clear in her presence, but pressed on. "Gold… I think they fully expect her to fail. They probably know— or at least suspect— that Rikiya Yotsubashi is the leader of the MLA. He's the CEO of the Deternat Company, which supplies Quirk support and lifestyle gear to the public. A lot of people rely on that gear to function normally. If he's arrested and his business goes down, it would cause chaos."

If they won't let me investigate Endeavor because it could cause a disturbance, they definitely won't risk Re-Destro and his top accomplices' identities going public, Hawks acknowledged miserably. But if Miruko does survive a while, then they get some juicy information for a bit. Isn't that nice? He took a breath and shoved his fear away. We need to account for not getting her out of this. What can you tell me that I can pass on as intel I coincidentally stumbled across?

"Slidin' Go is a member." Green said instantly.

"Fuck that guy." Orange snarled.

"Agreed." White said darkly. "He acts affable but don't let his smile and rather—"

"Stupid looking." Orange sneered.

White ignored him. "—odd appearance fool you. He's completely loyal to the Meta Liberation Army and is quite dangerous."

'Kills people for laughing at Destro's legacy', dangerous?

"Most likely. As I said, he's completely loyal to the MLA and takes personal offense at those who threaten the hierarchy."

So approaching him as Miruko's first contact would be a bad idea. How did other me get into contact with the MLA?

"Through the League of Villains and Dabi." Pink replied.

Hawks wondered how she got that information before remembering her and Yellow's investigation into other him's mission. So that route's out. We are not letting them unite. He dragged a hand through his hair and felt a few strands yank loose. We need to make Miruko's interest believable. That would mean she'd have to show some interest where people would notice. But doing that could ruin her reputation and give the Commission an excuse to revoke her Hero license.

He tried not to think 'And kill her.' but the implication lingered between them.

"Either way, the Commission gets what they want." Purple said darkly.

Hawks gritted his teeth. They're not. We won't let them.

"Hawks?"

He sprang back from the table, knocking over his chair and coffee as he summoned razor-sharp feathers to hover at his shoulders. Mockingjay raised her hands peacefully, completely calm despite the floating weapons mere inches from her face.

"It's me."

Hawks winced and reattached his feathers to his wings. "Sorry."

Grey eyes scrutinized him. "You're terrified." Hawks stiffened. "I can hear it in your voice. What happened?"

Hawks opened his mouth, shut it, and glanced around furtively before remembering that his office may be the only Commission-free place he had. Many would be horrified that he was considering telling Mockingjay the truth— even the voices were hesitant— but they did not know Katniss like him.

"The Commission's pressuring Miruko into a mission that might get her killed."

The reaction was instantaneous. "What do you need me to do?"

Mockingjay's voice came out as a low growl, far beyond the range most human vocal chords were capable of. It made Pink and Green startle, while Yellow twitched nervously. To Hawks, however, her quiet fury was a relief.

"Kat, I know your workload is already awful but I need you to find everything you can about the Meta Liberation Army. And…" he hesitated. "Maybe can you… contact your old teacher? For Rumi."

He braced himself for the heavy question to linger uncomfortably in the air, because if there was one thing he knew about Mockingjay, it was that she hated anything from her past being brought up. To his relief— and surprise— she did not even blink.

"Got it." She headed out, only to pop her head back through the door. "The request for assistance went through. I don't know who they're sending yet but they'll be here later next week."

"Good." Hawks said after a pause.

With everything else going on, he'd almost forgotten about the murder investigation.

He was too tense to feel guilty.

Mockingjay walked out and Hawks knew he would not see her for the rest of the day. Maybe the week.

"Voice manipulation." Yellow said.

Hawks blinked. Huh?

"Mockingjay's Quirk is..." His confident voice dimmed. "...some type of voice manipulation?"

Hawks's lips quirked upward. You're close.

"'Close' is another word for 'wrong.' Awww."

Green was the only voice not to laugh. In fact, his distress lapped at Hawks like icy waves. The source of his anxiety bubbled to the surface.

"The mall incident is this Saturday."

Hawks swallowed. His hands felt tingly so he rubbed them together, trying to force the feeling back into them. Yeah. I know. He took a breath and squared his shoulders. Think we can convince Miruko and Aizawa to go shopping?

XXXXXXX

Hawks went home to Miruko's apartment that night, if only because he knew she'd stress out if he didn't. She met him at the door with an unopened beer in her hand. He plucked it from her fingers and shoved it back into the fridge, giving her a water instead.

"No." he stated.

Miruko's expression twisted. "Hawks, I know my limits—"

"No." Hawks repeated vehemently. "You've drunk more in the past week than you have in a year."

"Like you would know that." she muttered.

Hawks stiffened. "Rumi..." He said, forcing his voice to remain steady. "Please tell me you didn't drink because I was missing."

Her red eyes met his and shifted to the side. "Not that much."

Hawks blinked rapidly. The thought of his friend being pushed to drinking by his disappearance made him queasy. He breathed through his nose to counter the nausea. "Okay. Okay. Since we've got some time, let's talk spying."

Miruko huffed but followed him to the counter. "You're offering to give me spying lessons, Baby Bird?"

"They will help you stay alive." Hawks said, sharper than he meant. He forced his feathers to lay flat and sat across from Miruko. "What is your exact mission?"

"To identify the leaders of the Meta Liberation Army, discover their bases, and bring them down." Her tone was unnervingly flat.

Hawks realized she had also figured out the Commission wouldn't let any of that happen. Not unless it benefited them. "When are you supposed to start?"

"Last week." Miruko said unrepentantly.

Hawks winced. "I bet they're happy about that."

She shrugged. "I wouldn't know. They're just… lurking right now."

"Stalkers." Yellow whispered out of obligation.

"It's more proof this mission is unnecessary bullshit." Miruko continued.

"You can still refuse." Hawks reminded her.

A rough hand ruffled his hair. "No, I can't." Miruko avoided his irritated flail and leaned back in her chair. "I'd say I have another week or two before the Commission starts sending more threats."

Hawks kept his expression stoic despite the churning of his stomach. The fact that the Commission might forego all pretenses and just kidnap him for use as a hostage— and lab rat— was a nerve-wracking but definite possibility. He should try to find non-syringey and subtle ways to make them more reassured in their grip over him and hopefully lessen the pressure on Miruko. If they had one Hero doll to play with they might ignore the other.

He thought about his bill and tried to calculate how much he more would be in debt if he borrowed more money from the Commission to pay for an apartment. He didn't know why he bothered. He'd never pay it off regardless.

Maybe he should try to put some distance between himself and Rumi—?

Nah. That would never work. The Commission already had their claws stabbed into her. Besides, if he did try to act angry, she'd see right through it and know what he was trying to do. He and Rumi knew each other too well.

"So what's your thoughts about my chances, Mr. Spy Expert?" Miruko asked sarcastically.

Hawks did not smile. "You're an awful choice as a spy. You show your feelings on your face, you're emotional and easily-angered, you tend to kick things you don't like, you blurt your thoughts, you insult people and love to press their buttons, and you're so well-known they'll likely never trust you."

Miruko hardly blinked at the harsh appraisal of her spying abilities. She knew she wasn't meant for this type of mission. "Then how do I beat my own limitations?"

"Your best chance is to use real thoughts and emotions as your base. They need to see you as valuable or they won't let you in the door. And connections with individuals within the Army will be important. They'll need to trust you. So again, sprinkle in bits of truth." He put on a blank expression to avoid frowning. "Be careful though. Using those methods may make you accidentally reveal information you shouldn't. It might give them an inkling of how you tick, which also gives them a better chance to emotionally and mentally manipulate you if one of them feels inclined." Hawks wrinkled his nose. "You should read their book, too."

He glanced distastefully at said book— which the Commission had 'helpfully' supplied for Miruko— and resisted the urge to blow it up with Orange's Quirk. Blowing up the Commission's 'gift' would not make the mission go away.

"Are you sure?" Orange asked flatly. "Cause blowing up some Commission buildings is sounding like a great idea right now."

Hawks slipped up and scowled. Don't joke about that.

"Not. Joking."

Miruko matched Hawks's expression, albeit for different reasons. "It's going to have some content about 'sacrifices for the greater good' that'll make me want to throw it in a volcano, isn't it?"

"You'll have to keep that kind of thinking to yourself." Hawks warned sternly. "Work on your poker face. You can't huff and roll your eyes if you disagree with them. Find parts of the book you can at least pretend to believe in. In case it wasn't clear: aspects of the Meta Liberation Army are more like a cult of fanatics than an organization. They encourage the lower ranks to sacrifice their lives for their cause in suicide attacks. There have been rumors they turn people into living bombs. Any slights against the word of Destro is met with violence at best."

"You know, more people might believe in their cause if they didn't act like brainwashed psychos." Miruko muttered.

"Do not call them 'brainwashed psychos'." Hawks snapped. He forced himself to calm down. "Think of this instead: Some of them aren't fanatical and legitimately believe in their cause; to make Quirk regulation less strict for the benefits of people."

"So they decided to join a Villain-class terrorist organization that promotes sacrificing your life and the lives of innocents to do it." Miruko growled.

Hawks repressed a wince by glowering. "The devout followers will kill you if you say things like this, Rumi."

Miruko's scowl faded away and she slumped. "I know. I'm not trained for this."

"Heroes with heteromorph Quirks rarely are." Hawks stated. "Our animal traits are too recognizable."

"Which is why I'm approaching the MLA as me." Miruko slumped and laid her head in her arms on the countertop, hiding her face. "I'm not taking on an identity. I can't because I'm too recognizable. So when I infiltrate, it's as Miruko. They'll know who I am, and I'll have to convince them that I believe in their cause. I know how these missions work." She raised her head, and her expression was hollow. "I'll have to do awful things to cement my loyalty to the organization. A terrorist organization. If I don't, I'm dead. If I do, I hurt people." She reached up and gripped her head, red eyes glassy. "I'll have to hurt innocent people."

Hawks walked around the countertop and hugged her, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. "You won't."

"I will if—"

"You won't." Hawks repeated. "Because you are one of the most stubborn people I know. If anyone can figure out a way to keep their trust without resorting to hurting innocents, it's you. You're too mulishly stubborn to let them manipulate you. I bet you'd actually turn it on them and get some of them to realize they're going too far."

She chuckled humorlessly. "You have more faith in me then I do."

"Well, you're encouraging like that with me." Hawks said, deceptively light. "It's only fair I throw your boundless belief back at you." He returned to his chair and propped his elbow on the countertop, leaning on his hand. "We need to figure out distress codes."

"Not here." Miruko said firmly.

"No duh." Hawks replied sarcastically.

It hit him just how much Miruko did not know about her new 'profession' and panic expanded in his chest like something had taken hold of his heart and twisted it. He tried to still his shaking hands by gripping his pant legs.

"I know some people who can teach you more efficiently than me."

Miruko shot him a furious look. "I won't—"

"They're not Commission. It's a friend of… our friend." He dare not speak Katniss's name here.

Miruko relaxed. To be honest, it stung that she had assumed he'd let the Commission anywhere near her for this. He'd never let anyone go to the Commission for training after what they had done to him.

Miruko doesn't have enhanced interrogation training.

Flashes of his future self's fate plagued his mind. Hawks's hands were shaking rather badly. And his skin felt cold. And his breathing was fast.

He pushed through it. That won't happen to Rumi.

"We might be able to assist her as Ennea." Green said abruptly. "A Vigilante outside the law can have access to missions and info Heroes legally couldn't."

Can Ennea give us evidence that could take down the Meta Liberation Army right now?

"...No." Green said with clear reluctance. "But we know where their base is. It will take a lot of planning— the whole city is MLA— but we might be able to find something if we infiltrate it."

Hawks could only accept his word.

Miruko peeked at a page in the middle of Destro's book and scowled. He took the book from her before she could rip it and flipped to the chapter about the rights people should have to use their Quirks for self-defense. He turned the book around and pointed at a passage.

"There. You at least agree with this, right?"

To his relief, she actually read the page. She did not look any happier.

"Yeah." Miruko snarled. "I agree that Quirk usage shouldn't be so restricted. Except for the part right after that where 'The only path to true freedom is to completely destroy all that seek to oppress our true selves. The status quo must be burned in order for a free world to rise from its ashes. Although feeble cowards shall protest the act of war, 'innocent' blood must be spilled for the world to change. 'Innocent' for there are no innocents in war. All those that accept the corruption of our laws are as guilty as those that enforce them.'" She slammed the book shut. "Cult-ass bitc— Oh, do excuse me…" She cleared her throat loudly and pointedly. "I meant to say so-called 'Freedom fighting'-ass bitches."

Hawks stared at her tiredly and resisted the urge to screech at her or put his head in his hands. He knew she understood subtlety and how not to anger people. However, her instinct was to be unsubtle and speak without a filter. That was fine in most places but not when infiltrating a political minefield of an organization that would happily shoot her in the head for saying something rude.

Miruko noticed his tired glower and took a breath before smirking mockingly. Whether it was at herself or the book, Hawks could not say.

"At least I'm not joining the League." she joked.

Pink and Yellow disconnected themselves from Hawks like their lives depended on it. Hawks gripped his hands together so tightly he could feel his nails digging into his palms.

"Ha." he choked as he did not think about missing wings and blood and torture and turning to dust—

Miruko shot him a confused stare but he avoided her gaze. She looked down at the counter and Hawks recognized the expression she wore when she was debating whether to do something. He let her think as he sorted his own thoughts and tried to figure out how to make sure she did not insult an important MLA Commander and get assassinated.

"I found that thing you had." Miruko said abruptly. She paused and made a shooting motion with her hand. "You know, hidden in your stuff?"

Hawks heard her, but what she said failed to mean anything. He stared at her uncomprehendingly until Red gasped and he remembered the gun she had created.

He hadn't gotten rid of it. It was still hidden in his boxes of clothes.

I'm such an idiot.

"It's not what you think." he said hastily, which was probably the stupidest response he could give. Yet Miruko expected him to teach her not to mess up and say stupid things? What a joke.

Miruko gave him a neutral look that was so unlike her that he had to fight the instinct to freeze and brace himself for a blow. "And what do I 'think'?"

Hawks avoided looking at her, trying to think of a logical explanation.

"I'm so sorry!" Red apologized.

It's okay. We all forgot. Hawks forced a laugh. "Um… I'm going to be in the next Space Saga movie and that's a prop? Surprise?"

Miruko's ears flicked down and she crossed her arms.

Hawks chuckled nervously. "I don't know what to say."

"How about where you got it and maybe why." Miruko said flatly.

Hawks winced. "Funny story…"

Miruko sighed.

It was a tired, disappointed sound that sent a disproportional burst of panic through Hawks's veins. Okay, she was upset so how could he calm her down maybe a joke but she'd already gotten annoyed at the last one so that wouldn't work so maybe he should just suck it up and let her yell at him—

A hand landed on Hawks's head and he stilled. Miruko was scowling but she ruffled his hair gently, not pulling the locks or using it as a grip to slam Hawks's head into anything.

"You're doing that thing again."

Hawks did not reply.

Miruko's jaw clenched with a soft cracking sound. "Not even a peep of protest. I really freaked you out, huh? Sorry, Baby Bird."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Hawks denied.

Miruko hummed vaguely. Her red eyes were sharp. "It has something to do with your other Quirks, doesn't it?"

Hawks went still. Even his feathers were rigid, his wings pressed against his back.

"Shit, she knows." Yellow moaned.

"I'm not a Nomu." Hawks blurted.

Miruko frowned. "Hawks—"

"I swear I'm not." Hawks interrupted, pretending his voice did not sound close to hysteria. "I-I don't have proof but I'm not a sleeper or anything!"

"Hawks, I—"

"I can't explain it exactly because you have that mission and it'd be dangerous for you to know because others could find out and know." he pleaded. "But I— I swear I'm not hiding anything maliciously I trust you really I do I just wasn't sure how to tell you that this happened because I didn't want you to be mad and I know I kept it secret for selfish reasons and I'm an awful, stupid hypocrite but I didn't mean to—"

"Hawks." Miruko interrupted loudly.

Hawks's rambling stuttered to a halt. Miruko's hand lifted like she was going to reach for him but it fell to her side without touching him.

"I don't care."

Hawks heard the words but they failed to make sense in his jumbled mind. "What?"

Miruko rolled her eyes. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

Hawks stared at her in nervous disbelief. "But… you mentioned it?"

Miruko blew a lock of white hair out of her face. "Yeah. But that doesn't mean you owe me an explanation." She huffed and dragged a hand over her face. "Dammit, I messed this up. I just wanted you to know I found it and hid it…" She glanced at the walls. "…somewhere else so you didn't freak and think it got stolen. I'm not mad at you for keeping things to yourself."

Hawks chuckled uncomfortably and tried not to fidget. "I knew that." His hands stilled, fingers twitching nervously, and he hid them in his lap. "You really don't want to know?"

"I do." Miruko admitted. "But I'm not gonna force anything outta you. And for the record, I know you're not a Nomu or sleeper or traitor or anything."

She had no proof except his word but she meant it. He knew she burned with curiosity but she meant it when she said she would not invade his privacy. She meant it when she said she believed him.

The smile Hawks gave her was real. "You're too nice, Rumi." I don't deserve that.

She groaned and flopped dramatically down on the countertop. "Noooooo. Don't ruin my bitchy image!"

"You're ruining it yourself." Hawks teased.

He listened to her grumble and stared absently ahead, focused on his mental notes on how to keep this wonderful, amazing, understanding person alive

He blinked and Miruko's worried face was inches from his. She drew back.

"You drifted."

Hawks's heart sank. How long?

"Out loud." she said quietly.

Hawks put his head in his hands. "I can handle this. I'm fine."

"You're shaking." Miruko noted. "And you look like a raccoon. When's the last time you slept?"

Hawks squinted. "Um..." Any help, guys?

"Last Monday you got a couple hours." Purple supplied and Silver gave a horrified spluttering sound.

"Last Monday." Hawks parroted.

"That was more than a week ago."

"I know. But we are not making this about me." Hawks said sharply.

Miruko gave him her most unimpressed glare. "Go to bed, Baby Bird."

"We're in the middle of a conversation."

"You're in the middle of a nervous breakdown."

She grasped his hand and pried it open, revealing deep gouges in his palms. And blood. He hadn't even noticed the pain. Miruko left the table and came back with some peroxide and some cotton swabs. She wiped away the speckles of blood.

"I always forget how sharp your nails are."

"That's why I keep them short. Domesticated birds aren't supposed to have talons, apparently." Hawks quipped, though it came out breathy. His chest felt tight and his shoulders were stiff all the way down into his arms.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you, you know." Miruko murmured. "Part of it, anyway."

"You don't have to protect me." Hawks said.

Green stirred but kept his thoughts to himself.

"Well, I want to." Miruko stated. She finished bandaging his hands and picked up the supplies. "Try to sleep. We can talk when you're not running on fumes."

Hawks opened his mouth to protest but she'd already left. He stared unhappily at the doorway before grabbing a notebook. He opened it and began writing instructions, all in code.

"You should sleep."

I can sleep later, Green.

"This is not healthy." Silver lectured.

Not you too.

"Even I think you're pushing it." Purple added.

I'm not going to waste time sleeping, Hawks snapped.

"Oh, so you can 'waste time' freaking out instead?" Orange sneered. "How does that help anyone?"

Hawks repressed a flinch. I'm fine.

"Hawks, breathe with me." Green said suddenly.

Huh?

Hawks looked at the page he'd been writing on. The words were blurry and his ribs pressed against his lungs, squeezing. He laid his head on the counter and struggled to draw in breath.

If Rumi dies, it'll be my fault.

"No it won't—"

Yes, it will be. She's taking this mission to protect me. The Commission knows about our Quirks. I bet they're just pretending to keep their word and are planning to lock me up whenever they choose. And the mission they're making Rumi do has her infiltrate part of the group that tortured and killed future me, in case you forgot. Plus there's the serial killer who's already murdered five people. It'll make the news soon and with our luck the Commission will hint I'm not working fast enough. Then there's all the other cases the Commission gave me, none of which I am completing. The Commission, that I accidentally told my intern about. My damn teenaged intern now has a target on him and he doesn't even know it! And then there's Saturday. If we fail, we lose our best chance to arrest Shigaraki with minimal risk and casualties. I could get Midoriya killed. I could get a bunch of people killed if All For One decides to send Nomu to help his apprentice. Blue eyes flashed through his mind and Orange tensed. Not to mention Kaetsu is still out there…

Hawks glanced out the window, all too aware the Heroes previously standing watch had been called away to different missions. He laid his head back down.

I can't do this.

"Yes you can." Pink said fiercely. "That's just your exhaustion talking. Yes, it's a lot to deal with but you're going to be okay."

Hawks shook his head back and forth as his vision went grey.

"Gold, stop!" Red shouted.

Hawks blinked and saw feathers in his hands. A few of the tips had blood. Where had it come from? He dropped them in the trash and rocked back and forth, gripping his elbows.

"I feel dizzy." White slurred.

"Go to Rumi." Green said sharply.

I can't. She's already done too much I can't make her deal with me I'm already going to cause her death I can't

"She won't mind. Go."

Hawks stumbled out of the room to Miruko's. He hit the doorjam instead of entering the room and went down with a thud. Miruko bolted upright, ears ramrod straight. She shoved her blankets off and rushed to his side.

"Hawks?"

He tried to speak but no sound came out.

She swore. "I shouldn't have left you."

Miruko pulled him over to the bed and guided him onto it, sitting next to him. He immediately curled up against her side and gripped her arm. For some reason, his fingers would not unbend no matter how much he tried. He tried to let go he tried he tried he tried because he wasn't supposed to seek comfort.

As the hours passed, Hawks's anxiety did not fade, even as his body decided it was getting too tired to keep his heart beating so frantically and slowed it down, leaving him exhausted and cold. Miruko stayed up with him the whole time, never scolding him or demanding he release her arm, instead petting his hair in a rhythmic, soothing motion. She was going to be exhausted in the morning. Again. Because of him.

I'm a burden on her, Hawks realized.

The voices might have said something but they were lost in the static.

Hawks's throat and chest felt tight and his eyes burned but he did not cry. He still hid his face in Miruko's shoulder even though he knew he shouldn't. She did not push him away.

He almost wished she did.

I'm sorry.

XXXXXXX

Mockingjay was in the middle of a stakeout when the phone in her pocket buzzed. It was one of her many burner phones so she immediately turned her gaze away from the building she was scouting to check it. It was a message from 'Berubetto'.

'Hey, Kuwai! I know you're working reeaallly hard on our group project but with the new job and my public speaking class, life is just killing me right now. The teacher is being a bitch and added debates to the curriculum. Debates! Who's going to use that stupid stuff in the real world other than politicians? Me, apparently! I may be procrastinating on it a bit but I'm so busy I can't even help my brother with his homework. Could you keep working on the final project without me? It's just until I have time to breathe. I swear I'll make it up to you!'

Mockingjay read the message again and closed her eyes. Why do I always have to care about self-sacrificing idiots?

She sent a message to 'Berubetto' that she was more than happy to keep researching on her own and settled back to continue her observation. So Miruko was going through with her mission to infiltrate the Meta Liberation Army then. At least, she was willing to once she could no longer delay it without the Commission deciding to go through with their threats. Hawks could not be happy about that. Hell, Mockingjay was not happy about it.

But if Miruko thought she could hold off or distract the Commission with 'compliance' to give them more time to prepare, Mockingjay would trust her to. Miruko was not dumb. She knew the Commission wanted her to give up her life or give up Hawks's. And until they had a plan to push one of the hostages to safety without the other being taken out, they had to play along.

Mockingjay could only hope they had enough to free them both before Miruko was pulled too deep in her sham of a suicide mission. If not, then she had no qualms about burning it all down. She had done it before and she would do it again.

So Mockingjay perched far from the Detnerat building as Beetee chattered in her ear and sliced through their security, carefully extracting what intel he could find.

Miruko and Hawks would not end up like Finnick and Prim, dead before thirty because a Hero organization saw them as disposable.

She would make sure of it.

XXXXXXX

Hawks either passed out or fell asleep. He must have because when awareness returned he felt groggy. His body felt heavy, as if he had been sleeping for far too long. He tried to shift but it was as if his limbs were made of lead.

Something felt… wrong. He could not say what, though the answer lingered at the edge of his consciousness.

After some struggle, Hawks's eyes cracked open. Bright light burned into his retinas and he winced, raising a hand to cover his face. He tried to anyway. Tried, because he could not lift his arms.

Hawks snapped into alertness and saw white. White ceiling, white walls, white lamp above him. He tried to lift his head but there was a strap across it, keeping him pinned. His gaze swept around his surroundings, taking them in, and his heart turned to ice.

There was no denying it.

He was in some type of lab.

Hawks stopped trying to break free and laid his head on what was likely a dissection table, struggling to calm his breathing. Had the Commission lost patience and simply taken him from the apartment? If they had, was Rumi okay?

Guys, what happened?

Silence.

None of the voices answered him.

Not even a whisper.

It was if they never existed in the first place.

Hawks's heart ran a marathon in his chest but he forced himself to stay as calm as possible. The voices had probably sealed themselves off again like they had the last time the Commission had him. That was a good thing. He did not want them to suffer too.

Hawks began mentally preparing himself for whatever was coming, forcing himself to remain logical and detached as he reassured himself that he would not be killed or permanently damaged. He shifted as much as he could in a futile attempt to get comfortable and noticed his back was flat against the cold table.

In a snap, he finally realized what felt wrong.

His wings were gone.

His wings were gone.

Hawks choked on a scream. He knew screaming would only draw the attention of his captors so he stifled it by biting his tongue. There was no time to panic. He had to get out. Who knew what awful things the Commission would make Miruko do in exchange for his 'safety'.

Hawks listened carefully as he inspected the bindings with his hands and ankles, feeling the material as best he could. If he dislocated his thumbs he might be able to get his hands through. Before he could try, he heard footsteps approaching. A shudder passed through him but he schooled his expression. Showing fear would not stop them. In fact, it would just make things worse.

Hawks focused on Miruko and how she'd pay if he disappointed the Commission. It helped him relax, as did the realization that he wasn't in pain, so maybe his wings weren't permanently shorn from his back. The Commission had cut part of his wing off before to see if it regenerated from the damage— it had, though it took a while— so maybe they left some wing bone that he wasn't noticing.

Although since he wasn't hurting, the Commission had probably used a Quirk to temporarily remove them while they… worked. They would not want to damage them, after all. Damaged wings took time to regenerate, time he could be using to work.

Any calm he grasped slipped into the void as his captor walked in. He had never seen him before— not even in the voices' memories— but he recognized him on sight. It would be difficult not to, with all the wires and scars on his face.

"How interesting." All For One said.

The Villain leaned over Hawks and the skin where his eyes once were split apart, revealing cold eyes. All For One grinned down at him, lips stretching so much the tubes warped his features.

"Very interesting." he repeated. "I've been waiting a long time to meet you, Hero."

Hawks wondered why the hell All For One would be interested in him but realized what must be happening. He was experiencing someone else's memory again. Likely Green's.

All For One's twisted smile widened. "I never expected a gnat like yourself to be worthy of my attention, but here we are. You should be proud."

Hawks kept silent. If this was Green's memory, all he could do was wait it out. Green was okay— mostly— so he'd be rescued or escape before things went too far. It was weird that Hawks was aware these weren't his memories though. Usually he lost track of himself.

All For One leaned close to his face and he smelled sickness and decay on his breath. A deceptively gentle hand pressed against Hawks's forehead, just enough to be uncomfortable.

"How curious. Even now, when you're helpless and afraid, you can hide things from me. Who are you protecting?"

No one, Hawks thought even though this was a memory and was not real.

All For One chuckled. It was an awful sound, like the rasp of a dying man more than a laugh. "You don't even realize what you've done. Or what's happened to you."

The hand on Hawks's head moved and he repressed a flinch, reminding himself this was not real. All For One brushed his hair back almost like Miruko did. But while Rumi's touch calmed him, Hawks's heartbeat quickened until he could feel it pounding in his chest and throat.

But he would be fine. Green still had his Quirk, and this was not real.

All For One hummed thoughtfully, almost sounding impressed. "I cannot take your Quirk." he noted. "Is it because I am attempting to use my Quirk through this one, or because of something inside you?"

Hawks's heart crawled into his throat.

"I've been watching you very carefully. I know your body adapted to having multiple Quirks. True, there are a few issues but you're mostly stable. Why, if I did not know better, I may think you were merely mine or my brother's descendant." All For One mused. "However, I do know better, unfortunately for you and All Might. So tell me…" He grasped Hawks's chin, forcing him to look at him. "When did he choose you as his successor for One For All?"

Confusion warred with Hawks's unease before he remembered this was Green's memory. He kept silent.

"And here I thought he'd predictably choose that student from UA." All For One sighed. "I suppose he does have some intelligence in that hero-addled brain of his. Why, I never would have looked into you if not for the interest of one of my subordinates. You were hidden in plain sight; Barely trained in One For All's use and away from Toshinori's protection."

Before Hawks could do more than wonder how Toshinori was connected to this, All For One calmly reached for him and large hands wrapped around his throat.

"I'm not normally so brutal," All For One said in the disinterested tone of someone who most certainly was. "But for you, I'll make an exception. Don't worry; you'll only feel like you're dying. You'll wake up safely in bed. I don't want you to die yet. After all, you've done something none of your predecessors have managed to. And my doctor would love to see you. Perhaps I should schedule an appointment."

His hand slowly tightened. Hawks tried to struggle but he was pinned, strapped to a table like he was already in Ujiko's tender care. His vision blurred and he felt his neck creaking beneath the pressure. But it wasn't real. It was Green's memory.

Then how did Green survive?

Panic tore through Hawks but before he could scream, something slammed into him with the force of a bullet train and his vision went green.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

The lab around Hawks shattered like a broken mirror as everything vanished in glowing green light. The last thing he saw was All For One's shocked expression morph into a smile.

His eyes fluttered open and he squinted at an unfamiliar ceiling. Before he could panic, Ochaco Uraraka leaned over him, eyes wide with shock. Except… she looked older?

"Holy shit."

Hawks's jolted upright and locked eyes with Denki Kaminari. An adult Denki Kaminari.

Hawks gaped at him before forcing his gaze around his new surroundings. He was in UA's new dorms. Along with Uraraka and Kaminari— Pink and Yellow— he saw Tenya Iida, Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Hitoshi Shinso, and two humanoid figures made of light.

One was red and clearly female. Occasionally the red light would flicker and Hawks thought he saw a glimpse of dark hair. The other was certainly male, composed completely of a steady orange glow. Hawks could not see their features, but could tell the red one had a long, spiky ponytail and the orange one had a hair cut short around the back with longer, messy hair up to the top.

He did not have much time to inspect them further before Orange spoke.

"How the fuck, Green?"

"Language." Tenya Iida—Silver— snapped.

"How the fucketh, Green?" Orange said instantly.

"How? Gold here? Here now? How?!" Yellow spluttered.

"I don't know!" Izuku Midoriya— Green— squeaked. "He was in pain and scared and I just did it!"

Hawks opened his mouth, shut it, and closed his eyes.

After a few seconds he blinked a few times and was still in the UA dorms in his head.

He tried to voice his own 'How the hell, Green.' but only a croak came out. Although he had not really been strangled, his body seemed to think he was. Was this his body? No, it wasn't. It was a mind construct thingy… in the mind construct thingy in his head.

As if his situation wasn't weird enough already.

How the hell, Green?

"We can still hear your thoughts." Green whispered, stunned. "But apparently you can't hear ours here?"

Hawks stared uncomprehendingly at him.

"Are you alright?" Shoto Todoroki— White— blurted. "We saw your nightmare but we could not wake you up until Green did… whatever he did."

A shudder passed through Hawks but he smiled. I'm okay. It was another memory, right?

Green looked distinctly uncomfortable, shifting from side to side. Hawks noticed his cheeks were still dotted with freckles. It was so weird to be able to see him. "Er, no. I was never captured by All For One." As Hawks's skin drained of color, he hurried to continue. "But he doesn't have a mind-walking Quirk."

Hawks wasn't so sure about that. It felt so real. Like the Villain had manifested himself into his nightmares or something…

"I swear All For One doesn't have any abilities like that." Green reassured him.

Hawks's breathing evened out. Okay. Mundane nightmare it was then.

"After the week we've had, I'm not surprised." Pink sighed.

Hawks blinked at her, gaze zeroing in on the small scar by her right eye. He didn't know she had a scar. How had she gotten it? He didn't ask.

This was so weird.

"It was some nightmare." Yellow breathed. "We couldn't get in at all. I swear you were blocking us."

Silver scowled and glared at Yellow sternly. He blinked in confusion at the tall, glowering man—Looks like Tenya had another big growth spurt.— and twitched, yellow eyes widening in horror as his hands waved frantically.

"Not that we blame you!"

Hawks glanced at him uncertainly but let it go. No offense but how do I get out?

"Sick of us already?" Hitoshi Shinso—Purple. Holy crap Hawks was finally seeing those kids' future selves.— asked dryly.

No. But my body's probably unresponsive right now. I don't want Rumi to think I'm catatonic again. We could get sent to the hospital.

More than one voice—future Hero— winced.

I can come back later, Hawks continued. That is, if Green can do a Green again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Green asked nervously.

"It mean you're so heroic you break mind physics and shit." Orange said dismissively.

A slow smile stretched across Green's freckled face.

"That's not a compliment you damn nerd!"

Hawks stifled a laugh as Orange lunged for Green, who yelped and fled across the room. As much as he wanted to stick around and watch the show, he had no idea what was happening outside. For all he knew, medics might be using a defibrillator on him. He opened the door and eyed the black abyss outside, taking a readying breath.

"Wait!" Pink called.

She whispered something to Yellow and Silver and they all hurried to Hawks's side. Before he could ask, he found himself trapped in a group hug. Hawks blinked in confusion and looked to the first person in his line of sight for an explanation, who just happened to be White.

Rather than explain, White wandered over like he had just so happened to decide to go this way and solemnly joined the hug. Hawks's confused thoughts must have transferred because Pink pulled away.

"We promised we'd figure out how to hug you, remember?"

A hesitant smile stretched across Hawks's face. Thank you.

"Ugh." Orange groaned. "You're all so mushy."

Hawks stared at him and smiled sweetly.

Orange tensed. "Don't you fucking dare—"

Hawks dashed over to him and caught him in a brief embrace before bolting for the exit.

Orange's cursing followed him as he traveled through darkness, feeling less like he was walking and more like he was being pulled forward.

He blinked and recognized Miruko's ceiling. He turned his head to see she was asleep. She hadn't noticed his… in-head visit. Good.

"Are you going to be okay or are we gonna have another anxiety attack?" White asked.

"Tact, White." Green sighed.

"My apologies."

It's okay. You have a point. But anxiety attacks aren't something you can really predict—

Hawks paused as he realized what he said.

He laid on his back and stared hollowly at the dark ceiling. I really do have PTSD and stuff, huh?

"Yeah." Green said softly. "I think most of us do."

Even Orange did not object.

Hawks shut his eyes. I'm sorr— He stopped and exhaled slowly. The Commission is already happy with me. This is going to please them sooo much more.

"I do not intend to be cruel but they will not be—" White paused. "Oh, I understand."

"I'm serious about kicking their asses." Orange stated.

"I agree. We won't let them hurt you anymore." Green said calmly.

Hawks felt a trickle of unease at the latter's words. Green—

"No. This has gone on long enough. Now they're threatening you— and by extension, all of us— to get Rumi killed. Something must be done."

Hawks's mouth went dry. They're a pillar of Hero Society, he reminded them a tad nervously. We can't do anything without causing chaos.

"Then maybe we need a little 'chaos' to save the world." Silver said levelly.

Hawks could picture his eyes glinting behind his glasses. His unease tripled and his breath caught in his chest.

That sounds very close to Villainy.

"It's not." Green said. "We can stay within the law, except for Ennea, of course." He paused, gauging how he might react, but pushed on. "Gold, with the Commission in power, it will be too easy for Villains like the League and Meta Liberation Army to cause everything to collapse. Hero Society can't stay as it is for it to survive. Things have to change. And we will change them. Legally."

That was wrong. Green was wrong. He was wrong wrong wrong wrong

Hawks swallowed and kept his thoughts to himself. What are you planning?

"Nothing yet." Green said evasively. "But Gold… the Commission is our en—… an obstacle as much as the Villains. They'll kill Heroes like Rumi and forcibly take kids like Eri in the name of 'peace' and everyone ignorantly applauds them. They shouldn't be able to do that."

Hawks almost wished Green was the manipulative type. Then he could hesitate instead of agreeing—

Oh. No no no he didn't mean that. He wasn't agreeing. He wasn't. He... Oh, who was he fooling? What was he thinking? What was wrong with him? The Commission did so much for him and Hero Society but he was wondering if they were bad? He was the bad one. He was so ungrateful and selfish and stupid. How could he think of the Commission like that after they did so much for him and Hero Society? They gave him chance after chance even though he was a mistake, and they saved so many people. How could he ever forget that? He knew how; because he was a selfish hypocrite. Did good Heroes need to remind themselves they were supposed to be a good person? No, they didn't.

Hawks blinked rapidly because his vision was blurry and tinted grey for some reason. He hoped he did not drift again. It didn't feel like he was drifting. His chest was too tight and his breathing was too fast and his hands were shaking.

Green's alarm and guilt just made it harder to keep himself under control because good Heroes did not cry. "Gold, you—"

"Green. Enough." White said sharply.

"But I—"

"Green."

Green went silent.

The voices allowed Hawks a moment to keep himself together, politely ignoring his shame at acting like this. And now he was whining like a miserable brat again

"Hey." Pink soothed. "Let's just focus on one goal at a time."

Saturday, Hawks thought, clinging to the not-bad, undeniably heroic goal with a pathetic amount of desperation.

"Saturday." Pink agreed. "Let's plan for that first."

Hawks spent the rest of the night laying awake as they planned how to hopefully remove a dangerous enemy from the board. Hours later, he still felt echoes of All For One's hands around his throat.

Just a nightmare, he reminded himself. Just a nightmare.

That was all it was. A nightmare from stress and anxiety about the future, where their next choices could ruin absolutely everything.

But it would be fine.

Everything would turn out okay.

It would all be okay.

XXXXXXX

A/N: Next chapter will be up the 6th-ish.