"Are you kidding me!" Shouting as I stepped into the empty residents' lounge save for Alex.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw me.

"Dude, what the hell? How did you even know I was here?"

"I have spies everywhere." Responding.

"That means your whipped boyfriend told you." He snorted.

"Are you nuts! The biggest test of your life and you miss it!" Walking over to him "I mean I understand you care about Tommy and yeah you care about Morgan don't deny it but you can't help anyone if you don't pass this test." Plopping down in anger next to him.

"We can't help Tommy period." He said quietly.

All my anger drained out of me.

"Robbins did the surgery I came in towards the end. There's nothing else we can do for him. We just told Morgan." Alex dejectedly told me.

"Oh, Alex I'm so sorry." Whispering to him.

He was quiet for a moment.

"Soon I'm going to go and help Morgan…make him comfortable for the next steps."

Not knowing what to do I leaned my head against his shoulder hoping to give him comfort.

"I know that this isn't what you want to hear right now but you're a great doctor. I mean it. You left the most important test of your life to come back here and be with your patient because that's how much you care." Softly telling him.

"And I know you don't want to hear this either but you, Morgan, Arizona you all did everything that you could it's just..." Sucking in a shaky breath "It's just his time to go."

"So I'm going to sit here with you, " Reaching my arms up I hugged him "And hug you until it's time for you to help the sweet child and his mother because we're friends and that's what we do."

Amazingly Alex didn't push me away. Instead, he reached his hands up and held onto my arms. We sat there like that in the empty lounge in silence.


I walked the hospital waiting for Alex to finish with Morgan. He told me to go home but I said I wouldn't leave.

I texted Lexie to say I was here, and she said she was at the fifth-floor nurse's station. By the time I got there, I could see Mark was there too.

"Oh God," I muttered under my breath.

Moving closer I heard him ask "It wasn't me, was it? That split you two up? The fact that Avery and I working together. The fact that you have to see me all the time," He began.

Oh no you don't.

"Hey, guys!" Greeting a little too loudly to startle them both.

"Oh, uh Barton what are you doing here?" Mark asked me confused.

Deciding to not let everyone know that Alex was back I went with the boyfriend excuse "Just dropping something off to George."

"How are you both?" Looking back and forth to both of them.

"Fine." They both said at the same time causing me to raise my eyebrows.

"That's good." Telling them.

"Oh be aware Zola has the stomach flu so careful when you go home." Turning to Lexie.

She grimaced "Great thanks for the heads up." In her eyes, though I saw a silent thank you for interrupting Mark.

"No problem." Meaning it for many different reasons.

"I'm going to get my stuff and head home. I'll see you later." She said to me, "Bye Mark." Lexie added before walking away.

"Bye," Mark responded as he watched her walk away.

I stared at Mark for a long few moments before he cracked and said "What?"

I added to the silence for another handful of seconds before saying "Think about what you're playing at here Mark. Be careful and don't be cruel. Not to her." Stoically telling him.

I walked away before he could say anything.


My phone rang.

"What?" Mumbling as I woke from my sleep. Glancing behind me I saw George still sleeping. We crashed and fell asleep in one of the on-call rooms in the hospital.

Picking up my phone from the table I saw it was Arizona.

"Arizona?" Questioning as I answered the phone.

"Hey, I need your help to get Karev to go to San Francisco he still has a shot if he makes it on time." She said to me.

"Say no more." Rising from the bed as I gathered my things. "Be there in five." Hanging up the phone.

George stirred and began to wake up.

"Hey go back to bed. Arizona just called. I'm going to try and make some magic happen to get Alex to San Francisco. I'll text you with an update. Love you." Rushing out to him with a quick kiss before I ran from the room.

I got to peds just in time to see Alex and Karev arguing.

"I'm never going to get there in time." He said.

"Yes, you will." Running up to them "Because you have me and I have money." Huffing out as I leaned on my legs "Damn I'm out of shape."

"Kid what can you do?" Alex questioned me.

"Charter a private jet that's what." Pulling out my phone and going to Google.

"What! Charlie I can't let you do that." Alex said to me.

"Yes, you can because you have no say. The world needs Dr. Alex Karev and the world won't get that unless you take these boards. Now come on get your shit, change into your suit and I'll meet you in the residents' lounge. Now go!" Yelling at him.

Alex stood there standing at me like a dumb idiot.

"Now! Now! Now!" Clapping my hands together.

He fumbled and then ran down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

Turning back I was barreled into a hug by Arizona.

"Thank you so much Charlie." She whispered to me.

"Don't thank me yet. Still got to get him there." Laughing as I pulled away "I got some calls to make. Wish us luck!" Darting down the hall.

"Good luck!" She called after me.

First I dialed Derek. He picked up but I didn't even give him time to say hello "Hey no time to talk I'm chartering a jet to get Alex back to California to take his boards. I'll text you before we take off. Hopefully, I'll be home by tonight."

"Um-what-what?" He stumbled.

"Can't talk have to call jet companies! Love you! Text you soon!" Hanging up the phone before he could stumble anything else out.

Poor Derek.

I ran down the halls of the hospital bouncing from one company to another who would fly us on such short notice.

"Barton! What the heck are you doing!" Jogging past Dr. Bailey "No running in the hospital!"

"Sorry, Dr. Bailey I have to find a jet to get Alex to San Francisco!" Shouting back at her. Turning the corner I heard her yell out a huge "What!"

It made me burst out laughing.

Running to the on-call room where I hoped George still was, I threw open the door and scared the crap out of him.

"Huh!" He jumped up in bed.

"Sorry, babe!" Running over to him "But I gotta get Alex to California. Can't explain too much now but I'll text you when we get to the runway." Giving him a kiss and then running back out the door.

"Oh, love you." Stopping to come back into the doorway before dashing off again.

By the time I got to the residents' lounge, my left side felt tight.

"Jesus I really have to start working out again." Panting out as Alex slipped on his suit jacket. "You ready to go? Don't bother with the tie! I can do your tie on the plane." Yelling at him.

"Come on I found us a company. Money man, you'd be so surprised what doors it can open." Smirking at him.

"I'll bet." He rolled his eyes grabbing his suitcase.

"Let's get you to San Francisco!" Cheering as I pushed him from the room.


"Move your ass Karev!" Shouting behind me.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" He shot back as we ran the halls of the hotel in San Francisco.

"God help future patients then!" Firing at him "Come on room 1152 we're almost there."

When we finally threw open the door his examiners were getting up.

"Hey!" Alex panted out.

"Here Dr. Karev is here." Joining him as I let out a huge breath and pointed to him. I doubled over trying to get air into my body.

"Hi-I am so, so sorry to interrupt. I'm Dr. Karev. I was stuck in Seattle helping a patient, and well uh I don't want to bore you with a bunch of travel crap." He told them.

"Crap? That was a nice jet! Though to be fair that was the only jet I'd ever been on." Still struggling to even my breath.

All three of them stared at me.

"Right irrelevant, sorry." Standing up straight again.

"Your time was set for 9:00 this morning." The female examiner said to him "We were here. We called your name."

"Yeah but I was with a patient, you get that?" He asked them.

"We all have patients, Dr. Karev. Yet we were here." She told him nonchalantly and it made me want to scream at her.

"So, what you just fail him for doing his job?" Demanding.

Both examiners gave me the look an adult gives a temperamental child. It made me boil.

"I'm sorry but who are you?" The woman asked me in a belittling tone.

"Charlotte Barton, who do you think got him here." Standing up tall to match her.

"Dr. Karev you failed the first of the three sessions. There are still two more to go. You can fail one session. Let's hope you have better luck with the other two." The other examiner said.

"We'll see you in an hour." The examiners nodded and then left the room but not before the woman did a once-over on me.

Once she was gone, I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Bitch." Muttering under my breath as Alex began to curse in panic.

"Hey, hey calm down okay. One session fail that's okay. You still have the other two sessions to kick ass okay so just breathe." Attempting to calm him.

"Yeah but that means I have to get freaking perfect scores on the next two sessions!" He shouted.

"And you will!" Shaking his shoulders "Don't let the doubt creep in now. You know this shit Alex just calm down. Let's get out of here, grab something to eat and then you come back and smash this." Staring straight into his eyes.

Finally, he nodded and we left the room. When we left the room we saw someone doubled over a maid cart throwing up.

"Meredith?" Inquiring thinking the person looked familiar.

Instantly she stood up and she and Cristina stared at us like we were Siamese twins.

"Charlie!" She cried before doubling back over to get sick again.

"Cristina." She threw her hand up in a half-hearted attempt before handing Meredith some more tissues.


"You told Derek you were fine." Sternly staring down at Meredith as I handed her some Gatorade.

We were hanging out in the hotel lobby. Alex had grabbed him and me some quick breakfast and I made sure he sat down and ate it all while I mothered Meredith.

"This is this biggest test of my career I wasn't going to miss it." She took the Gatorade from me like a stubborn child.

"Well, that sucked." Jackson came into view but stopped short when he saw me.

"Charlie!" His eyes went wide.

"Long story." Waving my hand at him "Here take some water, hydrate." Handing him a bottle.

"Karev you made it back here? How?" He asked Alex as he drank his water.

"One annoying midget." He smirked at me.

"I am not a midget! I'm 5'4 damnit!" Stomping my foot.

Everyone laughed at my antics.

"You know it's bad enough we have to take this stupid thing, but now having my mother here." Jackson shook his head in annoyance.

"Your mom is here?" Raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah, she is proctor along with Webber," Cristina told me.

For some reason, I noticed Jackson's eye twitch. I made a mental note to follow up on that later.

Now all I said was "Hey clear that out of your head. You gotta focus." Leveling my eyes at him.

Jackson gave me a long stare, then nodded.

Cristina's phone dinged.

"Come on we gotta get back." They all stood. I made Meredith finish her Gatorade before letting her go.

"Now go slay. I'll be wandering around here so don't worry about me." Saying to her "See you in a bit." She nodded and left with Cristina.

"I did not get your ass here on a jet for nothing so go in there and show them why Alex Karev deserves to be a doctor." Speaking to Alex.

He nodded but before he could leave I grabbed him in a quick hug, "For luck." Whispering to him and then let him go.

Last was Jackson "I can tell something is up but right now at the moment, you need to focus. Forget about your mother and focus on you because it's about you. You, Jackson Avery." Setting my hands on his shoulders for my mini pep talk.

Jackson took a deep breath and I could sense him trying to calm himself.

"You got this." Saying one more time "You're Iron Man." Grinning at him.

He opened his eyes and smiled before he grabbed me into a big hug "We'll talk after all this is done." Softly saying to him.

I gave him one final squeeze and then stepped away. I raised my hand in a fist "Love you 3000."

"Love you 3000." He laughed as he fist-bumped me and then went off to session two.


"What's new Lexie?" Answering my phone from my spot in the hotel lounge.

"Derek just told me that Julia asked Mark if he wanted to have a baby."

"What!" Bellowing out causing several people to stare at me.

"Sorry." Blushing as I scampered away to the lobby and outside.

"Wait hold the freaking phone. Start over." Requesting.

"Apparently Julia told Mark this morning that she wants to have a baby." She explained, "And then Derek and I were working, and he told me."

"What did Mark say?" Asking.

"I don't know I bombarded Derek with so many questions he left."

I let out a sigh "God damnit Derek." Closing my eyes in frustration.

"Now I have to head into surgery with both Mark and Derek and I…I…" She trailed off as her voice cracked.

"Lexie." Softly saying.

"I love Mark." She cried over the phone "I love him, and everything is messy and it doesn't make sense and I don't make sense." Lexie sobbed.

"Honey please don't cry." My voice sounded all funny because I was trying hard not to cry with her.

Damn Mark.

And Derek.

And just all men.

"How could I ever tell him now?" Lexie cracked as she continued to cry.

"Look I don't know a lot for being 18, but I know things are good, and right, and wonderful when you have that feeling. That connection. I feel that for you and Mark, for the both of you."

"I just want Mark to see what's literally right in front of him. An amazing love that could last and I want him to come to his senses before it's too late." The air in my lungs cut off at the last part as I thought about the plane crash. At him telling Lexie he loved her moments before she died.

"I want to tell him that I love him. I want to but-but" She panted "I open my mouth, and nothing comes out. And everything is terrible." Lexie sobbed.

Raising my head to the sky I wiped some tears that were escaping from my eyes. My heart breaking for my friend.

My friend?

"Lexie." My voice cracking "I know that we haven't known each other for very long but can I say that I consider you a good friend and I love you. I love you like family because you are my family." Telling her as I wiped more tears away.

Lexie became silent on the other line and I wondered if I had gone too far and made it weird like I usually did.

"You're my friend too Charlie and I love you too." She softly said and I let out a huge breath.

"Okay good because no matter what happens you need to know that I am here for you. For anything. I will help you and I will protect you." Sniffing out and hating myself for not being able to hide it.

I will protect you. I need to.

"Thank you, Charlie," Lexie whispered.

My throat closed from emotion.

"I need to go the guys are going to be coming out of their second session soon I want to make sure they're okay. If you need anything just text and I'll try and answer as soon as I can. Just try to breathe." Gently telling her.

"Okay, okay thanks." She responded before hanging up.

Grounding my palms into my eyes I took some deep breaths before heading back into the hotel. When I got there everyone was shuffling out of their rooms like confused, pissed off zombies.

First, I went up to Alex "Hey second round, how did it go?"

He smirked a cocky grin "Piece of cake."

"That's good but don't get cocky. That's what happened to Caesar. Go get some fresh air, walk around and stretch."

Turning around I saw April dart down the hall but didn't have time to say anything. Meredith followed but Cristina held up her hand and followed her.

Yeah better her to deal with a sick Meredith.

Onto Jackson "Come on let's walk for a few." Slipping his arm through mine "What's going on?"

"Where to begin?" He shook his head.

"My mother is proctoring in the room next door to mine." He began and I let out a groan "And she's in my head. The name Avery is in flashing lights in my mind. If I fail, then I'll be the Avery who blew it." He spit out.

"Jackson you're more than the name that's given to you. Being an Avery shouldn't define who you are. Don't let your mother get in your head. She's not taking the test you are.

"That's not the only reason why she's in my head." He slowly said and I stopped to look at him.

He closed his eyes and ground out "This morning I went to her room to get something and Webber opened the door…in a robe."

"No!" Gasping.

"Oh man, that really sucks I am so sorry." Lamenting to him. I can't even imagine.

"And there's more." He said.

"What else could there be!" Raising my voice.

He looked around at the empty hallway before turning back to me.

"April and I slept together." He said.

My mouth hung open.

Dumbstruck I was honestly dumbstruck.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You picked this week, the most important test of your medical life to sleep with your best friend." Heatedly and slowly hissing out.

"You are all fucking idiots." Shaking my head "How did I even survive when I was at the hospital. It will be a miracle if any of you pass."

"Jesus I've turned into Dr. Bailey." Shaking my head again.

"One more thing." He quietly added.

Slowly I turned around and stared daggers at him.

"What?" Simmering.

"She well…um…" Jackson closed his eyes and pinched them together "She-when we slept together, she was a-"

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Cutting him off as I shouted in his face.

His silence was all the answer I needed.

I threw my hands up beyond done.

"Okay Jackson I love you; you know I do, but I need some air otherwise I am going to Hulk out on you." Bristling as I moved past him and went to the elevators.


As much as I loved my friends I couldn't wait to go home.

I was very much done with the past 48 hours and I was ready to go back to Seattle. Which was why as soon as everyone was done with their third session, we would all be going home. Sitting out in the hall as I waited for everyone to finally finish I only wanted to go to bed.

Streaming Fleabag on my phone though helped pass the time.

A door opened. I looked up and saw Alex slam it closed.

He was fuming.

He threw his satchel on the floor.

"Woah what the hell happened." Slowly and carefully getting up. Alex slumped against the wall and for a split moment he looked like he was about to cry, but the look went as quickly as it came.

"I blew it." He responded, "I freaking blew it."

"You don't know that." Crouching down to meet his level.

"Kid I started yelling at them about me and patients and how they should get it and their freaking trick questions. It's over." He ran his fingers over his head angrily.

Pausing for a moment I tried to think of what to say "Then you'll take it again and next time you will pass because, and sorry to beat a dead horse, you're a great doctor. I know that if you had the choice you wouldn't turn back time and do anything differently in the last two days because that's who you are."

Alex looked at the ground defeated.

I put my arm on his shoulder, "Come on. Let's go home."

He looked up at me and I gave him a small smile.


We left the hotel and I texted Meredith saying I was bringing Alex back to Seattle. Then I texted Derek to tell him we were coming home.

After the two-hour flight home, I had an uber take us back to the hospital.

"Do you want to face Arizona now or tomorrow?" Asking him as we stepped out of the car.

Alex looked to the hospital and let out a big sigh.

"Tomorrow." He waved his hand towards the building.

"Well come on then. I'll drive you home." Fishing out my keys.

"Don't you want to say hi to lover boy." Alex joked.

"One, George is already home. Two, I'm fucking exhausted. I just want to shower and go to bed. Three, even if George was at the hospital he would understand. Let's go." Walking towards my car.

On the ride home I tried to keep things light.

"Sorry to make us fly commercially like poor people on the way home." Joking with Alex.

It got a chuckle out of him.

"Does it feel different?" He asked me.

"Does what feel different?" Inquiring in confusion at his question.

"Having all this money now." He clarified.

"No, not really." Answering without hesitation "Like I said I grew up very grounded and when I went into the system…well things were tight wherever I went."

"I don't think about it too much. I mean I still work." Saying.

"Yeah but you don't have to."

"I want to. I think it makes me feel more grounded ever since getting the money. I'm not some spoiled little heiress. I've always worked. Always kept busy. Always looking after people. It's just how I've always been."

"Though between the past several weeks, it would be nice to have a break." Sighing wistfully.

"You really can't talk about what happened in New Orleans?" Alex questioned skeptically.

A plane crash flooded into my brain unfiltered and true.

"No." Swallowing my suddenly dry mouth "Can't talk about it."

Nor can I tell you that you're one of the seven whose life could be lost if I don't get to you in time.

I rubbed my eyes "You've had less sleep than I've had, how you are not crashing right now?" Asking him.

"Lot's of training." He laughed.

When I pulled into the driveway it was midnight.

"Thank you." Saying aloud as I parked the car.

"Amen." Alex grunted.

A phone pinged.

Grabbing my phone I looked down "It's not me."

Alex went still.

"Oh God it's the results isn't it." Looking at him.

He didn't answer he just kept staring down at his phone.

"Screw this, no I can't I'm going to delete it right now." He fired out.

"No!" Grabbing his phone from him, slightly stunning him.

"You need to know otherwise you'll always wonder." Telling him.

"Know what! Charlie I failed!" He yelled at me.

"Then let me at least see the proof." Countering back at him.

For a long tense minute, we stared at each other until he let out a curse and then turned around.

I took that as a sign to go ahead so with slightly wobbly hands I opened his emails and clicked on the results just sent to him.

I read the words but couldn't find my own to speak.

"What?" Alex questioned pacing back and forth.

"What does it say!" He yelled.

Raising my head from the phone I stared at him.

"Just get it over with kid." He spoke miserably.

"You passed." Whispering to him.

Alex went perfectly still.

"Wh-what?" He muttered.

A huge grin spread over my face "You passed Alex."

"If this is a joke it's not fucking funny." He was still deadly serious.

"Look, read!" Shoving his phone in his face.

After a minute he spoke.

"Holy shit." He whispered to himself.

"You passed!" Shouting with joy as I jumped up and down next to him.

"Holy shit." He repeated to himself only louder this time as he looked up from his phone.

He was smiling from ear to ear.

"You did it!" Renewing my jumping before barreling him into a bear hug.

"I'm so freaking proud of you!" Hugging him tight "Now just suck it up and hug me because this is a great, ecstatic moment damnit." Giggling.

To my shock he hugged me back.

Together we stayed like that for several long seconds before he quietly said to me "Thanks."

My grin grew wider "Anything for family." Softly responding.

He stepped back and let out a laugh of disbelief. But the smile was still on his face.

"Uh let's not tell anyone yet. I want to see if the other passed when they get home." He said.

I nodded and made a lock and key sign before I opened the front door.

The house was quiet and even though it was late Derek was still up.

"You didn't need to stay up and wait for us." Yawning as I dropped my bag.

"I didn't mind. Meredith and everyone else should be arriving at the hospital soon." He said, "Plus I wanted to see you." He came over and gave me a hug.

"You should go talk to Lexie." He whispered into my ear.

My insides turned.

Pulling away I gave a silent nod.

"I'm going to bed," Alex said.

"Go rest you deserve it." Sharing a secret smile with him.

I waited till he went upstairs before asking Derek "What happened?"

"It's best if you hear the whole thing from her." He sighed.

Nodding I made my way to her door.

Knocking lightly I said "Lex it's Charlie. Alex and I just got back. Are you okay?"

There was muffled noise on the other side and I waited till she opened the door, well I had hoped she would open the door.

She did and what I saw broke my heart.

Lexie's eyes bloodshot and red, her face puffy from crying. She was in her pajamas and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Lexie, what happened?" Gently inquiring.

She sniffed and opened the door further so that I could step inside.

Once it was closed, she said "It's over."

"What? What's over?" Softly asking as I led her back to bed to sit down.

"I-I told Mark. I finally told Mark I loved him." She hiccupped "It just came flying out of my mouth. You know? Like finally and…and…" She began to start crying.

My chest constricted but I waited for her to get the words out.

"And he just stood there." She put a hand to her chest trying to get the words out "He just stood there, and then Julia came over!" Lexie sobbed into her hands.

"Oh my God!" Gasping as I gathered her in my arms and began to rock her back and forth as she let it out.

"What happened then?" Dreading the answer.

"I guess they were going out on a date or whatever, and he-he left with her. He just turned around and left with her. Mark put on a happy smile and said goodbye and they left. It was like I wasn't there-or I had said nothing." Lex cried harder.

As I held her all I could think about was putting Mark Sloan's' head through a brick wall.

Multiple times.

"I just-I can't." She tried speaking in between sobbing and breathing.

"Sshh. Just breathe okay. In and out, deep breaths." Hugging her closer to me. My face felt wet. I don't know when I started crying.

"I know this feels like the end of the world. It isn't, but right now you can cry and be upset as much as you want. You can mope and hate life because you've earned it. So you cry and wallow and if anyone has anything to say about it, then they can answer to me." Sternly telling her as I smoothed her hair.

The two of us stayed intertwined that way until I lost track.

"I'm sorry you must be exhausted. I should let you get some rest." She raised herself from my chest and wiped her bloodshot eyes.

"No, I'm alright really." Squeezing her arm, "Do you want me to stay with you for a bit longer?"

Lexie shook her head "No I think I'll be okay." She attempted to muster a tiny smile for me.

"Just remember tomorrow always begins as something new." Smoothing her hair giving her a small quirk of my lips "And no matter what happens I have your back." Reaching down to squeeze her hand.

"Thank you Charlie," Lex whispered and I brought her into another hug.

"Try and get some rest okay. And if you don't feel up to it then don't go to work tomorrow. We'll hang out." Hoping to cheer her up.

"I'll think about it." This time her lips did form a brittle smile.

Smiling back I opened the door and quietly shut it. I stood in the hallway for a long moment before I made up my mind.

Walking into the living room I found Derek still on the couch.

"You're still up?" Questioning.

"Yeah Meredith just got back." He said.

"And?" My eyes wide in anticipation.

"She passed of course." He grinned and I hopped up and down before bringing him into a hug.

"Oh, that's freaking great! I'll give her, her own hug when she's no longer patient zero." Laughing as I stepped back.

"What about everyone else?" Asking as I picked up my bag.

Derek paused and it made me turn.

"Who?" My body itching in dread at the answer.

"April." He finally said and my body slumped.

"Oh shit." Knowing that she would think her not passing was due to what happened between her and Jackson.

"I'll try and talk to her tomorrow." Sighing.

"How's Lexie?" Derek asked.

"How do you think she is?" Responding back but not with any sarcasm or anger. Just depression.

"Do you know the whole story?" Looking at him.

Derek nodded.

"Right." Grabbing my keys.

"Where are you going?" He questioned.

"Where do you think." Deadpanning as I walked to the door.

"Charlie it's one in the morning you can't go see him now!" Derek said.

"The hell I can!" Exclaiming.

"Your family, your sister-in-law is broken in there. Now it's my turn to go and scream at the man that caused her pain. And so help me, Derek, if you try to stop me, you are going to regret it." Heatedly telling him with fire in my eyes.

Derek waited a moment and then cursed under his breath. Not waiting for anything else I yanked open the door and shut it behind me.


I didn't think much as I drove to Mark's apartment building. I didn't think about how late it was. Or that he was probably sleeping. Or that he might have Sofia. Or that Julia might be there.

All I felt was pain.

Lexie's pain and my frustration.

Having never been here before it took me a bit to gather myself, but I finally found his door.

I pressed the doorbell three times and pounded on the door before it swung open to reveal a slightly sleepy Mark standing there.

"Hmm Charlie it's past one in the morning what are you doing here?" He rubbed his eyes, "Has something happened? Is everyone okay?" He started to wake up.

"Is Julia here?" Cutting to it.

"What? No-no she isn't here? Why?" He was confused.

"Good." Stepping forward and shoving him roughly. I caught him by surprise, but I did it again, and again shoving him further into his apartment. The anger building with every movement.

"Barton, what the hell are you doing?" Mark grabbed my hands to keep me from shoving him back again. I roughly yanked my arms from his grasp.

"You fucking idiot!" Yelling at him "Do you know how truly stupid you are?" My fury rising with every fresh breath in my body.

"She tells you she loves you and you say nothing!" Crying out as I pushed him again.

"No instead you leave with Julia!" Screaming out shaking my head as tears spilled from my eyes.

Damn my freaking crying!

"You leave with Julia! You break Lexie's heart! You fool your own!" Shouting at him.

"A day will come where you're going to regret this Mark Sloan. The day will come when you realize damnit that you love Lexie Grey only-" I was starting to choke up "Only it's going to come too late and you'll regret it for as long as you live."

Not long. Because after Lexie dies. Then you die.

"You're going to be too late and then you'll hate yourself. You'll spend every second wondering why you didn't see it before. Why you didn't say it sooner." More tears spilling from my eyes "And inside you'll be utterly alone and miserable because you missed out on the best thing that could have been yours."

Sniffing I wiped my eyes and looked at Mark. His jaw clenched, muscles tight, standing straight. Though in his eyes I could tell he was entirely defeated.

"Make no mistake a line was drawn here today, and I pick Lexie. I love you, Mark, I do. I see you as family I never thought I'd get but-this-" Gesturing between us "No more. I'll be civil and polite, but I can't be friends with someone who plays the joker and fools themselves with false happiness. Because no matter how much you tell yourself that this is the right thing, and it's what you want, you can't always ignore the nagging voice in the back of your skull saying that you're not happy." Roughly wiping my face as I willed myself to suck it up and to stop crying.

"And for the love of God if you're really going to commit to this then stay the fuck away from Lexie. If your mind is convincing you that being with Julia is what you want, then fine. But I swear to God if in a few weeks you flip flop and tell Lexie that you're having second thoughts then so help me," Leveling my stare at him "You break her heart one more time then it will be the last time you ever do it." Steeling my voice in cold wrath.

"So either get with the fucking picture and do everyone a huge favor and cut the crap and say you love her and make it stay that way. Or. Stay. Away." Edging on the venom.

Forcing my legs to work I pushed past him, opened the door and slammed it shut.

Leaning against the wall I let out a shaky breath.

Images of plane parts and Lexie's cut-up face, and the wretched tone in Mark's voice when he told her he loved her filled my head. Then the cold distant look that crossed her eyes when she died appeared.

Covering my mouth with my hand I stifled a few sobs before taking a minute and gathering myself. As I left the building I realized that Mark had never once said a word during my entire one-sided screaming match.


The house was quiet when I came home.

That's how it should be. It was close to two in the morning.

Achingly I made my way upstairs to my room. Putting my bag down I sat on the edge of my bed wanting nothing more than to disappear into the sheets.

Closing my eyes I ran a hand through my hair and puffed out a large, frustrated, exhausted breath. Opening my eyes I stared straight ahead for a moment not particularly thinking about anything.

I got up and peeled my dirty clothes off me and changed into my pajamas. I stood in front of my bed and looked down at it. After a few seconds, I picked up a pillow and hefted my blanket into my arms, and carefully made my way downstairs.

Knocking quietly on Lexie's door I didn't get a response. As softly as I could I opened the door and found Lexie asleep in bed, though her bedside light was still on.

Dropping my pillow and blanket on the floor next to her bed I turned off the light and shut the door.

Getting down on the floor I made myself comfortable, mentally thanking Lexie for having a carpet, and snuggled under my blanket.

My eyes were drooping closed when I heard a noise.

"Hmm?" Lexie stirred.

"Go back to bed." Softly murmuring from my spot on the floor.

"Charlie?" She questioned in the darkness.

"It's alright go back to bed." Repeating myself.

"Are you on the floor?" She asked.

"Yes so please try not to break your neck when you trip over me in the morning." Mumbling as I snuggled further into the floor with my blanket.

Silence.

I was almost asleep when I heard a gentle "Thank you." Emerge from the darkness.

Sleepily I crawled my hand out from under my blanket and reached up, fumbling along her blanket until I found her hand and grasped it in mine.

Sleep took me soon after.


Loud beeping woke me up.

"Oh my God, what time is it?" Angrily mumbling as I sat up on Lexie's floor.

"Sorry, it's my six am alarm." She yawned as she turned her alarm off.

"Jesus." Sighing as I flopped back down on the floor.

It was quiet for a few minutes and I thought that she had fallen back asleep but she didn't.

"I don't know what to do." She said.

"About what?" Asking with my eyes still closed.

"About today. About work." Lexie let out quietly.

Opening my eyes I sat up and looked at her.

"Here's what you're going to do. First, call out because you're taking the day. Believe me, you've earned some me-time. I'll go tell Mer and Derek. Second, we're going to go back to bed until at least 10. Then we'll get up and I'll treat you to brunch." Grinning as I got up off the floor, "And a pedicure." Winking at her.

"No Charlie, you don't need to do that." Lexie shook her head, but I cut her off.

"Third we will go see a movie. I know you wanted to go see the new version of Emma and honestly so do I, and George would love for us to go together so I don't have to drag him. Fourth, we'll get takeout from anywhere you want and then come back and binge The Great British Baking Show."

I walked to the door and turned back "Sorry but there's no arguing. Now back to bed." My grin widening as I slipped from the room.

Stifling a yawn I went to the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. God, I looked tired. But what could I expect on less than four of sleep?

Making my way upstairs I knocked on Mer and Derek's door a little uneasy, hoping Meredith wasn't still sick.

Speak of the devil, she opened the door.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Taking a step back just to be sure.

"I'm better now." She smirked at my antics.

"Good, good just checking." Nodding still wary, "Do you both have a minute?"

Meredith opened the door.

"Derek, Charlie needs to talk to us." She called to the bathroom. Zola was still sleeping in her crib.

The door opened and I could tell Derek had just finished shaving.

"So," Crossing my arms and leaning against their dresser "Did Derek fill you in?"

Meredith nodded "Yes he did. How is Lexie?" She inquired gently.

"Not great which is why I'm making her play hooky today."

Derek appeared that he was going to start arguing but I held up my hand "She's earned a day to herself. You can survive one day without her." Narrowing my eyes at him as if to say challenge me.

After a long stare, he relented and said, "Yeah you're right."

"Good now we're going back to bed and then I'll keep her busy for the day." Walking to the door "I'll let you guys finish getting ready."

My hand was on the doorknob but I stopped and turned back to Derek "Oh and if Mark asks about Lexie at all and how she's doing, you can tell him from me, that he can go to hell." Smiling sweetly and leaving the room before either of them could say anything.

I then went to George's room and filled him in on the past two days as best as I could. He understood why I needed to spend the day with Lexie. We shared a few kisses and then I took my exhausted self back down to Lexie's room.

Gently I opened the door and found her fast asleep. I quietly shut the door and nestled back into my cocoon on the floor, asleep within minutes.