Paperback Writer 3.9
"Give it up, Underdog. You don't win this." Armsmaster says as his new Halberd unfolds.
I'll be clear here. I am under no illusions that I'll be able to defeat Armsmaster in anything resembling a fair fight. Even in an empty parking lot like this, with no cover from my ranged attacks in sight, I can't say for sure if I've got the terrain advantage - I don't know what kind of ranged weapons he's got packed into his weapon. In fact, I'm still nearly guaranteed to fail to defeat him in an unfair fight; that's how much he outclasses me. And to be clear here, I'm talking about a mutual defeat, where I wreck my body so bad that I won't be able to escape with Regent. Logically speaking, there's no reason for me to do anything but run away.
「Yeah, there's really no way for me to win here!」I reply with a shrug. For a moment, I see the tension in his jaw relax a bit - this is the closest I'll get to him being off guard. My grin widens.「But...」
I drop a small mountain of screws on him, enough to bury him up to his armpits.「That just means it's business as usual!」I shout, following up with a salvo directed at his immobilized limbs. Panacea's probably already on her way here, so it doesn't matter how much I maim him, right?
"Engage Normandy protocol." Engage what now?
Armsmaster's armor pulses with electricity, and then the screws engulfing him explode outwards, flying away from him. I have to hastily dismiss all my weapons back to wherever they come from to avoid being turned into swiss cheese.
...Come to think of it, Ajimu did call this power "Swiss Armory". I wonder if-
"You know, I never had the chance to use this feature before." Armsmaster says. "Iron Rain died before I got the chance to fight her, and Kaiser's weapons are all anchored to the ground. Honestly, it was on the chopping block if I ever ran out of suit space."
He walks forward menacingly, and I throw screw after screw at him as he does. However, the electricity arcing along his suit strikes anything approaching him, sending it flying away. Armsmaster smirks. "But I kept saying to myself, 'I'm sure I'll find a use for an electromagnetic deflection field someday'. And it just paid off. Your weapons won't work. You'd need something at least the size of a car to have any-"
I immediately drop a screw the size of a car on him.
「Thanks for the tip!」
Unfortunately he jumps out of its impact zone, and the next thing I know the flat of a halberd impacts my face. I stagger back a bit, but I'm able to deflect the follow-up hit with my stolen halberd
I shout to my partner in crime.「Regent! Now would be a good time to - aaaand he's gone. Guess that's what I get for trusting a villain, huh?」
Armsmaster answers my question with an uppercut to the jaw. I'm knocked backwards, but I take advantage of this opportunity to have a pair of screws erupt from the ground of the parking lot, launching us in opposite directions. I barely have time to stand up before he's already racing towards me, though.
「Is this a bad time to say that I'm sorry and I didn't mean it?」I ask, narrowly dodging a syringe that he launches at me. 「I'm taking that as a yes.」
I then begin launching more giant screws at him, which he weaves through expertly on his way to bludgeoning me unconscious. Car sized isn't working. Jeep sized, then. Truck sized. Boat sized. Building size-
[Something] breaks. I can feel it, in the back left corner of my brain. The screw comes out much smaller than intended. Only about the length of my arm.
「Eh?」Is all I have time to say before his deflection field launches the thing back at me, forcing me to jump aside to avoid it. I try a few more times, but I can't get larger screws to show up.
"What? Out of gas already?" asks Armsmaster as he delivers a leg sweep that I narrowly avoid by jumping over it.
「You know, I didn't even think I had gas to run out of, but here we are!」 I say, sweating bullets. Oi, [Blank Page], now is really not the time. Stop eating the strongest parts of my powers please!
「Tell you what, let's call it a draw and meet here again next Monday for round two.」
"Counteroffer: you come quietly now, and I won't potentially give you brain damage by knocking you unconscious," he deadpans.
I stroke my chin. 「Okay, but what if-」
An engine revs loudly. Armsmaster glances to his right, towards the sound, and then tries to jump out of the way. Unfortunately for him, a few screws slam into his left shoulder in midair, and even with his anti-metal field active, Newton's Third Law is still in effect - he's not impaled by the screws, but he is placed firmly in the path of the rapidly accelerating armored PRT van.
If it had been a normal car, and Armsmaster had been on the ground, the vehicle would have been the one to come out the loser in this encounter. However, PRT vans are rated as safe for impacts on par with what a Brute 4 could dish out. The airborne Tinker doesn't stand a chance.
「Five bounces! That beats my record!」 I remark. He's already staggering to his feet, though. That armor of his is something else, huh?
The passenger door of the van is flung open as it screeches to a stop, revealing a familiar smirking face, now wearing sunglasses.
"Come with me if you want to live," says Regent in his best Schwarznegger impression.
「Running away feels pretty bad, but I still have other stuff to take care of before I get caught!」 I yell to Armsmaster as I climb into the passenger seat. He's already running for his bike, but I have a solution for that. Some two dozen screws sprout out of the inside of his tires, ruining them - or rather, out of the front tire, the closer of the two. Nothing comes out of the other one. Did my range decrease too?
I sigh as I slam the door shut. 「Once again, I couldn't win.」
Regent chuckles. "Nah, you did great. Stalling for the getaway vehicle is like half of what we do in the Undersiders, so I think you'd be a decent fit."
「Eh, I'm not really looking to join you guys. I just need to ask Tattletale some questions,」 I say.
"Man, and here I was hoping to replace Brutus," he replies with a chuckle.
「Who?」
"One of Bitch's dogs."
「I'm still not a real dog, you know.」 I sigh. 「I think I might change names now that I'm on the lam anyway. I'm leaning towards 'Minus'.」
"Well, whatever floats your boat man."
…
「...By the way, why aren't we moving?」 I ask nervously.
"Because I'm still in park," the villain says matter-of-factly.
「...Why are you still in park!?」
"Well, you haven't put your seatbelt on yet. Honestly, which one of us is the law-abiding citizen here?"
Behind us, I hear Armsmaster's engine revving. Did he have a backup tire?
「I'm buckled! I'm buckled! Just go already!」 I shout.
"Finally. God, do you want us to get pulled over?" He says with a grin on his face as he floors the accelerator.
「I don't think the seatbelt is what I should be worried about!」 I exclaim as I look at our pursuer through the side mirror. Is he doing a wheelie!? He didn't have a spare tire, he's just driving after us with one wheel!
A carpet of sharp screws erupts from the asphalt behind us as we speed away.
「Oh god, he's driving on top of them!?」
If only I'd been able to pop the back tire too!
...Well, he's in range for me to do that now, though. Screws erupt from his back wheel, sending him skidding off the road with a loud screech of burning tires and tearing metal.
...Panacea's nearby, so he'll be fine. Probably.
