Chapter 27: Don't Look A Gift Werewolf In The Mouth. It Will Bite Through You Entirely Too Easily


"Maya"

He said my name like it was dripping honey. His smokey eyes locked on mine with such intensity it was difficult to look away. I didn't want to look away. Everything about him was mesmerizing. The way he moved, slow like a predator eyeing his prize. His looks, the powerful eyes, perfect body and rolled-out-of-the-bed-like-this hair.

"Maya"

His voice. Like my name on his lips was everything he could ever desire.

And just as he was about to touch me, my conscience got the better of me.

"Enough, Desire"

The gorgeous adonis in front of me pouted with utterly kissable lips.

Stay strong, Maya.

"Desire, cut it out"

A sigh escaped his lips and a blink of an eye later, Desire stood in front of me in her preferred form, the same violet woman she wore when we had our Fade encounter during the whole Ponnor business.

"I truly do not understand you. Other humans would not hesitate upon the opportunity of being pleasured by the man of their dreams. And as a free favor, no less" she rested her cheek on the palm of her hand and regarded me like I was a puzzle. Or a very interesting bug.

So, yeah, the desire demon I met a couple of times before decided to haunt my dreams with images of sexy men wanting to ravish me. This was third time already.

I took a moment to take in the ridiculousness of the situation. No no, the ridiculousness that was me still saying no to this.

Damn my morals.

"I'm one of those people who think too much, like, all the time. I could never forget it's you and that's just… a hard pass" I grimaced. Thinking about me accepting any remotely sexual favors with Desire turned man gave me the heebie jeebies.

Ew. No offense to Desire, but ew.

Desire shrugged an elegant purple shoulder, utterly unaffected by my refusal "Suit yourself"

"You've been visiting me for a while" I said "Why are you trying to…" Seduce me? That didn't sound right.

"I am attempting to repay my debt. I told you this"

Right. Silly me "Er, but I don't really want a man…"

She raised an eyebrow "Is that so? I am not usually wrong about mortals' inclinations, but if you prefer woman…"

Geez "No no, that isn't it. I mean I have other types of desires"

There was a glint in her eyes "I see. And what may those be?"

I thought about it. She was asking because she wanted to grant my wish, right? I still wasn't entirely sure why, but…

"You know, I've only been able to be aware in my dreams when you visit me; as soon as you leave I wake up. But I still feel rested in the morning"

"So?"

I mumbled under my breath and a green orb of light appeared beside me.

I looked back at Desire with a big grin on my face "How would you like to visit more often?"


"GYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Kallian cursed as she slashed her foe "Damn it, someone help her!"

"Busy!"

"GAAAAAHHH!"

I kept on shouting my head off, running for dear life as I was chased by a BIG ASS SPIDER.

A BIG ASS SPIDER!

I don't think you understand the implications of that, so I'll say it one more time.

I WAS BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING GIANTNORMUS SPIDER.

Not even Combat Tactics could save me this time.

But even in my chaos, I knew I couldn't keep running because it was gonnafuckingcatchmehelpmepleaaaseee!

I heard its quick steps creeping up behind me.

Jesus fucking–!

Wait! I'm a mage!

In a show of unparalleled will fueled by mind-numbing fear, I swung my Lightning Rod off my back, turning to face the– the thing, in one fluid motion.

"Flame Blast!"

Fire exploded from the tip of my staff, engulfing the monster who screeched and writhed in pain. I didn't even register that awful smell that usually accompanies burnt flesh. I was too busy channeling more magic into the spell, willing the flames to become hotter by the second. At one point, the spider flipped over, long legs curling together, letting me see a glimpse of Zevran, who stood behind it, frozen in mid-step with his daggers drawn.

The spider wasn't moving anymore, but I wasn't fooled. Oh no, those little -big!- shits played dead as well as any other living being experiencing extreme fear, when the threat they're facing is too strong to flee from. I could just see it, as soon as I stopped my attack, it would turn over and… and...

Ugh, die bitch, DIE!

I stopped only when I was almost out of juice, Spell Wisp, Rock Armor and Flaming Weapons the only spells still in play.

I frightfully peered at it as soon as the magical fire died down. The only thing I could see were ashes. I'd burn it to a crisp.

I looked around, breathing hard. The rest of the guys and girls were keeping a respectful distance, staring at me. They just… stared at me.

When nobody moved, I made a sad face, my eyes growing wide.

Both Kallian and Alistair stepped forward but were beaten by the big furball that was Scout.

I hugged him fiercely as soon as he made it into my embrace.

God I love this pup.

"But I hate spiders" I mumbled against his furry neck.

Kallian reached down and patted my head "I could tell"

The amusement in her voice was almost offensive.

It's okay though, I would be too.

"Well! That was quiet the display"

Bite me, Morrigan.

Alistair let out a snort. Did I say that out loud? Ugh, whatever.

Just don't do it as a spider. Please.

"You lack control, bas-saarebas"

I opened one eye to see Sten looking down on me gravely.

So, I show a little phobia and go from basalit-an to bas-saarebas, huh? Wasn't even sure what that meant but I knew it wasn't good.

"I don't wanna hear that coming from you, man" the guy who murdered an entire family because he couldn't find his sword.

The big guy raised both eyebrows, surprised by the venom in my voice. He didn't exactly ease off, but he didn't keep pushing, at least. Guess that's something.

"I don't understand how you can face everything we have until now, but spiders are too much?" Leliana giggled.

"I don't know. I just… I hate spiders" I repeated lamely.

"Perhaps it is a good idea to get this… matter of yours under control, yes? Before it presents a problem, that is" Zevran said.

Get your shit together before anyone gets killed. Delicately put, bud.

I sighed "I know, I know. I will. Eventually" I burrowed my face on Scout again. Ah, yes. Avoidance at its finest.

"May I suggest sooner rather than later, child? I know this it is a daunting process, but surely you realize something must be done. There will be more" Don't say it! "spiders on our way forward" Waaahh.

After a few more seconds of avoidance, Kallian voiced her agreement with Wynne, forcing me to answer.

I shook my head and stood with an exasperated sigh. I'd heard this argument before. But it's never been so urgent for me to do it. Until now, apparently "I know! And I know the treatment for arachnophobia. Its HELL"

"What's a hell?"

"I think it's her way of saying the Void"

I ignored Kallian and Alistair and concentrated on the academic explanation "The best-known treatment for phobias is exposure to the object of fear. As…" I gulped "As high as the patient can stomach it"

I could see Morrigan's eye light up like a Christmas tree "Oh? Should I help you in this endeavor of yours, then? I would be most delighted in lending you a hand"

"Yeah, you just have the best disposition don't you" Alistair scoffed, walking up beside me.

"No, she's right. It would probably work best with her help…" My face contorted and I flung myself at Alistair before bursting into sniffles.

His arms immediately closed around me, even as he patted my back awkwardly.

Let me make this clear. I only hugged him because he was the closest one. Don't misunderstand, okay?

… Yeah, okay.


As you might have guessed, we were currently in the middle of the Brecilian Forest. That meant we had to leave the horses behind at the Dalish camp because, skittish as horses tend to be, taking them into a werewolf infested land didn't seem like the brightest move. Most of our stuff was still near the beginning of the forest proper though, on the road between it and Southron hills where Bodhan and Sandal had decided to wait for us, the cart making it hard to travel surrounded by so much vegetation.

But I digress. Let me give you a run-down of what's been going on in the last few days. First of all, it took us three days to get to the West Brecilian Forest and the actual start of the quest. When we finally got there, we happened upon another of those flowers Leliana liked, which made her and Kallian share a warm, fuzzy-inducing look. It was adorable, but I felt bad for Al, who had to witness the exchange. Poor guy put on a brave front though.

I feel ya, buddy.

On the other hand, the Andraste's Grace was beside a great bear -labeled conveniently by Survival- guarding a corpse. So that took the romance down a notch, what with the ground covered in blood and stuff.

We then ran into Swiftrunner -hehe, get it?- the werewolf beta. He was big, even towering over Sten. A pearly white set of pointy teeth betrayed his lethality. The only reason I didn't pee myself was because we'd already fought a group of them -plus a couple of actual wolves and blighted wolves- shortly after encountering that flower I mentioned before. Thank goodness we outnumbered them or some of us would be missing body parts right now. I kept my squishy self out of range and provided support while the melee fighters engaged directly, and still felt myself flinch every time I heard them howl. Let's just say, I was very glad Kallian used her powers of Coercion -who said I'm the only one with skills?- to send the beta wolf away.

The conversation went more or less like I expected it to.

Swiftrunner spoke with a guttural growl that could be called a voice if I was feeling generous. Of course, the fact that he could talk alone made him more civilized than they expected him to, which gave our fearless leader pause.

After Kallian successfully persuaded him, Swiftrunner admitted to not wanting a confrontation with us. But neither could he trust us, and so he decided to retreat and leave us at the forest's mercy.

Bit negligent, if you ask me, but what do I know.

But something he said kept bugging me.

There was no way I remembered the game dialogue word for word. But when he mentioned Zathrian, he said the elf had been seen going towards the West Brecilian Forest, barricading himself behind wards to do Maker knows what. No matter how faulty my memory was or how long ago I last played Origins, I would not have forgotten that. Had my presence changed things this much? But what could I possibly have done to warrant changing the story this much? Duncan was on the other side of the map right now, so he shouldn't have anything to do with the Dalish either.

So what was going on?

I kept mulling it over and thinking what I was gonna do about it when we run into… them. Ugh, no living being should have eight legs and be the size of a bear. That's a life-cheat. And I knew about those.

We kept going, crossing the bridge where Swiftrunner confronted us and heading east, by-passing an ironically tranquil creak, thoughts of messing up a universe on hold as I concentrated on trying not to die.

We fought more werewolves after that. Along with a group of darkspawn with a freaking Ogre in their ranks. I wanted to try my new spell combination, but the enemies were coming at us from different angles and jumping down on us from hills making it hard to set up Paralysis Explosion. In the end my biggest contribution was trapping the nightmare of a creature in a Force Field. That was okay. My time would come.

Found a wounded elf named Deygan. Patched him up a bit and returned him about a third of the way back, before running into Mithra and her Dalish patrol -thank fudge-, who took him back with gratitude.

Back into the woods we went.

We got lost and took another route leading -I think- southeast. Got attacked by a murderous tree -#thisismylifenow #rangedattacksforthewin #thatlookedlikeithurt-, collected some elfroot and a bear attack later, we found ourselves gazing at our first set of old ruins.

Having been over a week since this whole mess began, you can imagine the sight of it perked me right up. By the way, I love nature and everything, but I had about my fill of it already. I couldn't wait to get to Denerim after this.

"Alright, take it easy people. I have a feeling we're gonna encounter something as soon as we get in there"

"Is that more knowledge of the future?" asked Kallian, high on alert.

"Yes" except not really. It was more a self-respecting gamer knowledge.

I aimed as far as I could with my staff and casted "Glyph of Repulsion"

A blue circle of light flashed once almost at the center of the plant infested ruins.

Okay so I was getting kind of impatient about using my new spell. Sorry not sorry.

"What are you doing?" asked Morrigan snottily.

I gave her a confident smile over my shoulder "You'll see"

We approached the clearing made by the crumbling constructions carefully.

"GRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Boom. Ogre.

Told ya~

"Stay back!" I yelled, a maniac grin on my face.

"What?!" Alistair stopped mid-step, looking back at me like I'd gone bananas. He was half-right.

"Trust me!"

Kallian caught my eye and nodded, even as Alistair was already backing up "Pull back!"

I exhaled a breath and I aimed again "Glyph of Paralysis!"

Instead of the glyph blinking into existence, a circle of light blue smoke puffed softly, expanded until it almost dissipated. In its place, a cloud of electric-blue energy smacked down on us, propelling the remaining smoke to explode in a violent gust.

I didn't miss my que and finished with an unnecessary swirl of my staff. I'd been practicing for a while.

Wow.

I heard a victorious laugh, followed by cheers. I turned to find the companions rushing past me to take care of the Ogres. I raised my hand when I saw Kallian approaching. She looked confused for a second before her lips split in a toothy grin, raising her hand to give me a sonorous high five before moving on to help the others.

Hehe. I did good.

With a nod to myself, I hurried to join them.


Job done, we began looting the area. There were rubble and corpses all around. We also stumbled upon an ancient grave that tickled my memory.

"Don't touch that" I slapped Zev's hand as he reached over to sweep the spiderwebs away.

He shook his hand exaggeratedly "Shame, I preferred it when you ran into my arms"

I chuckled and gave him a shoulder bump, turning to address Kallian "Pretty sure that's gonna spawn some high-ranking demon"

Kallian gave it a speculative glance "Do you remember anything else about it?"

I racked my brain until I got a headache "I think this is part of a larger quest… if its what I think it is we'll find another one like this somewhere in the forest. If we complete it, we'll get some cool loot, probably"

"Probably?" Morrigan raised an arrogant eyebrow. Oddly enough, her statement didn't carry as much censure as I knew it could. Baby steps.

I hummed "I'm getting old you guys. My memory isn't what it used to be"

Wynne chuckled "Oh I understand what you mean all too well"

I smiled at her easy attitude.

"Old? You can't be that old. You don't look much older than me, at any rate"

I quirked an eyebrow at him "I'm 25 years old, man"

Alistair did a double take. Yup, looking young was my bane during work as much as I hoped would be my blessing in the future. Fingers crossed.

I chuckled "Definitely older than you huh? What are you, like, twenty?"

"Twenty-one" he grumbled "As off the month before last"

My turn to do a double take. Wut?

"Your birthday was in…" I gave my brain a mental shake, trying to remember the Ferelden months "Guardian?"

Al blinked at me "Does that mean naming-day? If so, then yes. By the end of the month"

I gaped "Are you kidding me? We knew each other then!" I covered my mouth with both hands, immediately regretting it cause they were filthy "Oh dude, I'm so sorry we missed your birthday"

Kallian gave me an odd look "I'm not sure I follow"

"I believe naming-days are celebrated were Maya comes from, yes?" said Leliana.

I nodded, understanding also downing on me "Guess you don't? Almost everyone does in my world"

"Oh! Since that's the case, should we begin doing so from now on? I'd be glad to get to try one of the cultural peculiarities from another world. Might there be more of your fascinating music involved?"

I created a monster when I introduced Leliana to the music app in my phone. Lost an entire battery charge that day. Wonder what she'd think of the Happy Birthday song.

"That sounds like a great idea!" Kallian was right behind Leliana.

I gotta admit though, I was so on board with this plan I was basically already sailing.

Of course, not everyone was.

"Tis a foolish notion and a waste of my time. I wish to take no part in this" Morrigan stated dismissively.

Wynne was kinder "I'm afraid I am too old to be reminded of my years. I would be happy to celebrate with the younger ones, of course"

"It does sound quite feisty" offered Zevran "Alas, I do not know the date I was born, so I'll just tag along to your commemorations. Pity" He said that, but didn't sound very put off about it.

Sten said something in qunlat that was obviously a refusal. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't understand that one.

"That leaves Kallian, Alistair, Maya and me" said Leliana.

The dog barked his disapproval.

"And Scout" Kallian added peppily "I don't know when you where born, but we'll pick a date. Oh! Maybe we could share my birthday"

Scout gave her two happy barks and proceeded to rub his head against her… well, he almost reached her chest, actually. I bet she could ride him into battle.

Pfft, that would be a hell of a sight.

"What about the grave" Sten's words cut right through the warm mood like a whip.

"Ah, right"

Kallian made the final decision to wait and see if we encountered a second tomb like this one to make sure it was the same one I was referring to.

Tired form a long day, we decided to walk a bit more before backtracking a bit and setting up camp. As Zevran and Sten pointed out, the curved ditch that followed after the ruins was a poorly defendable position should we be attacked at night.

I was so tired I only had time to thank my lucky stars it wasn't my turn to keep watch before sinking in sweet sweet sleep.

Hopefully, I'd get to see Desire in my dreams today. Playing with my spells in my dream-space was a good way to pass the night.


I didn't realize how I missed the actual plot line until we got back to it. Let's try not to do so much relationship work all at once in the future, yeah?

By the way, does Maya seem a bit more cheery than she was before? She is meant to be. A little more like how she was at the beggning, when she still wasn't convinced this was all 'real'.

And may I say, your support is greatly appreciated and makes me happy beyond words. Really, you guys rock.

Stay healthy!