Vampire Trap (With some Boss Mabel)

A/N: read notes at the end.

Michael PoV

"Ok, just drink this," I said, tipping a sort of salty smoothy down Thompson's throat. "This will help replace your fluids. Immediately after I want you to eat something high in protein. Got it?"

"Mhmm," he said, finishing off the glass. "Oh man, that's disgusting."

"Yeah, sorry. Kale, fruit juice, milk and a half dozen raw eggs don't make for a purrade parfait."

"I don't even know what that is," he said weekly.

"It's basically a milkshake with a ton of ice cream," Wendy said. "How are you feeling big guy?"

"Like crap. I hate to admit it, but this terrible smoothy is actually helping. I'm kind of hungry though."

"We'll get you something to eat," she assured him. "Won't we Michael?"

"Uh, yeah. We'll make a night of it. Just you, me, a stake, some mash potatoes and about 50 gallons of water."

"Really, that much?" Wendy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I was just exaggerating," Michael replied. "Would your parents mind much, Thompson?"

"Nah, they left this morning to go visit some hot spring spot in Washington. They'll be back by the end of the week."

"Ok, cool. I'm gonna go raid your fridge and find us something to eat. You good?"

"Yeah," he replied with a yawn. "I'm just gonna take a quick nap." He then laied down on the couch he was sitting on and began snoring.

"Ok then," Michael said, walking to the kitchen. "Come on Wendy, you can help me find something to eat."

The next day

Dipper PoV

Waking up after any kind of sexual activity is the best feeling ever. Hands down, no questions asked. After a quick dinner made by Michael, the man, teen? Supernatural dude who can supposedly be a walking talking nuke? Lets just call him kid. That kid can sure make a meal out of practically nothing.

And then me and Mabel went to sleep after kissing and touching a bit more. We didn't do anything sexual beyond that, it was still a little sensitive, and fell asleep in each other's arms. In the morning, I woke up to see her already awake, eyes open and just looking at me. Not in a creepy way, but she had a look on her face. Soft, and curious, like she was thinking about something and actually giving it serious thought. Nothing against her, but my sister can be kind of an air head. I smiled, so did she and I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

"Good morning sis," I said.

She laughed a little, "Good morning to you too." She moved her hips against mine and grinded them a little. If I wasnt hard then, I am now.

"Woah," I said. "A little eager there, aren't you?"

"Eh," she said and then turned around, her back facing me. "I just like teasing you."

"Of course you do," I said, circling my arms around her and pulling her close against me, my hips against hers, and my dick pressed against her but. We sit there, in silence, just enjoying the moment. And if we know each other like we actually do, we're both wondering how we got ourselves in this situation.

But worrying about the future later, i moved my hand down to the hem of her nightgown, pulled it up over her stomach and then put my hand inside of her underwear.

"Dipper!" She breathed out. She didn't shout, she was just surprised. But I didn't say anything, I focused on finding her crotch, found it, and started to work her slit. Moving my finder up and down, making her moisten.

"Dipper," she sighed. "Ah!" I hit a part on the top of her slit with my index finger. Rubbing up and down, she moved the sleeve on one of her arms to her mouth and bit on it, trying to muffle the sounds of her own pleasure, her other arm gripping mine. After a few minutes her breath hitched, her grip on my arm became a painful vice and her whole body shuttered for a split second before she let out a breath in a big exhale and said, "Ah!"

We then lay there, her breath labored, chest heaving. She shakily turned around and I pulled my fingers out of her panties, now slick with cum. We looked at each other and then started to laugh, her face flush and a bit sweaty, me, just blushing.

We stopped when we heard footsteps approaching from the staircase. Uh oh, did Michael hear? Then he came up to the door and knocked softly.

"You guys decent? I heard laughing and was wondering if you wanted breakfast. Eggs and toast ok?"

We looked at each other, and smiled.

"Yeah!" I call back to him. "That sounds perfect! Me and Mabel are gonna get dressed, see you down stairs?"

"Sure, take your time," he said. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower real quick. See you all in a bit."

He walked back down stairs, and soon we heard the water running in the old pipes. I looked back at Mabel again and, again, we laughed. Who knew I was so good at lying? This will definitely not come back to bite me later.

"Here, get up real quick?" Mabel said. She got out of bed and stood up, her nightgown falling back over her pale skin and purple colored panties. She stood in front of me as I stood up. She then got this mischievous look on her face, got on her knees and pulled down my shorts, my very hard member flopping out of my pants as she did, standing full at attention. She wasted no time in putting it in her mouth and she started sucking.

"Oh!" I said. "S-shit!" I fell back and sat on the bed, Mabel popped off in surprise.

"Dipper!" She appeared scandalous. "I didn't know you had the vocabulary to cuss!"

I put a hand on her head. "S-special c-circumstances." Then I gently moved her head back towards my crotch. She got the hit and started to suck again. It wasn't like last night where she was almost afraid of every move she made, she seemed to get into it and was making as much saliva as she could to slick up my dick, and sucked a little bit making slurping noises tugging on the head with the suction. Needless to say I didn't last long and after a minute I came into her mouth with a shout, "Ah!"

It was only one spurt but it felt like the best thing ever, like someone hit the pleasure center of my brain, which I guess Mabel did. She let me go and sat back. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear, and swallowed. Um.

"Hmm. Not bad, not something I'll be eating all day, just keep drinking sweet juice and we'll be just fine!" She wiped some slobber and a stray strand of cum with the back of her hand and smiled a full braced smile.

"I'm going to need to borrow those trashy teen novel's you said you have."

"Later, bro-bro. Let's get dressed and go eat." I got up, and tucked my slobber covered, still twitching member back in my shorts and got dressed for the day. By the time we were done and heading down stairs, the shower stopped.

Michael PoV

After we treated Thompson, me and Wendy decided to have dinner there, eat with Thompson, I walked her home and went back to the Shack to feed the twins. Both of them were wet from a recent shower and really happy for some reason. They went to bed after I got them something to eat. And in the morning I broke the news to them.

"You guys can't leave the Shack after dark," I told them.

"Um, why?" Dipper asked.

"Because there are vampires about and I have to kill them," I deadpanned to them.

"Aaaaaah!" Mabel screamed out.

"Don't worry," I said, cleaning out my ears to try and get rid of the ringing from them. "I'll have them dead by the time Stan gets back from his 'vacation'."

"What!?" she said, seemingly appalled. "NO! Don't kill them!"

"Wha!? Why not?"

"Because it's a vampire! One of the most romanticist things in the entire universe!"

"What?" Me and Dipper said at the same time.

"Mabel, no," I continued. "Even before I started the Soul Society in the World of the Living, I've encountered vampires before. Their ruthless, blood thirsty, and most of all, smart," I emphasized. "They're not mindless beasts, they're just as human like you or me… aside from them being a vampire that is, but they can think, they can plan, they can learn. If you fight them and survive, and they survive, they can come back. They can learn from you, figure out your weakness. Physical or… someone else," he said looking to Dipper. I could see his throat move up and down as he gulped. "And yes, they can be romantic, seeing as vampires are more or less immortal, they choose their partners for life… or it's a complete ruse so they can get them and eat them… and not in that way," I said, seeing Dipper and Mabel's smirk. "Seriously, whatever porn you guys are watching, moderate it a bit. This is serious."

Their smiles fell from their face. I sighed and said in a more gentle voice. "This is dangerous," I said. "By now they know that I'm gunning for it… or him or her," I said looking at Mabel and winking. She smiled back. "So, I'm going to enforce a curfew. Be back into the Shack an hour before sundown. I'm gonna go into town before we open up and get some garlic and UV lights. Most vampires have an allergy to garlic, and depending on how evil, sunlight is most fatal."

They didn't say anything. Then Dipper said, "But what about at night? What will you do then?"

"Well… I have to be in the town, where there's more food. But… out here in the middle of nowhere, where there is little in the way of back up… yeah, that might be bad. One sec."

Knowing that this could kill me if I took too long, I brought out a small green pill. The Gigai, also known as Alpha. I popped it into my mouth and swallowed it dry. "Excuse me," I said. Then, they don't see it, but, my soul gets forced out of my body. My body falls to the floor as my soul floats around before I settle to the ground.

"Um… what just happened?" Mabel asked.

I concentrated hard for a second then my soul became visible. "I just separated my soul from my mortal body and put Alpha inside of it. See? He's getting up."

My body does and he gets up, rubbing his, uh, my, this is gonna confuse me. He guts up rubbing his ass. "You think you can give me a heads up next time, sir?"

"Sorry," I say. "But, I'm gonna need you to run a few errands for me."

"Ugh, first baby sitter, now errand boy?" He complains. "What's next, stable cleaner?"

"Actually, since you opened your, uh, my? Oh god, this is gonna kill me. Since you opened your/my mouth, you can go into town and get about 19 dozen cloves of garlic, and about, hmm, carry the 3? 15 sets of UV lights," I said doing some quick mental calculations.

"Ugh, fine," he grumbled out.

"And then," I continued.

"Oh fuck my life," he grumbled.

"Then you can clean the outhouse. Since we don't have a stable, mind you," I said while chuckling.

"I hate you," he said.

"You hate me…?"

"Sir. I hate you sir!" He grumbled out.

"Good mod soul. Now, go do those tasks. Meet me back in front of the Shack at about noon. Any longer and I might die," I said walking to the wall.

"Wait, what does that mean?" Dipper said.

"Oh nothing," I said. "Just, if I keep my soul separated from my body for too long, the bond that keeps my soul to my body alive would fade and crumble, and I wouldn't be able to return to my body… meaning I might die. So, see yas!"

With that I walked through the wall and went to the forest to train.

3rd Person PoV

"Welp, I better get to it," Alpha said. "Who knows when I might bet a break next. Do you guys need anything while I'm out?"

"Hmm, nah," Mabel said. "We're good. I'm gonna have to get ready for opening pretty soon. Hurry back though, k? Come to think of it, the outhouse does need cleaning."

"Ugh," he grumbled but stalked out of the door and onto town.

"And you sir, Dipington," Mabel said rounding on Dipper. He froze in his seat, and got pounced on. Well, more like she surprised him by leaning over to kiss him on the lips. They separated and she said, "That's a sneak peek of what's to come later. I need you to go into town and pick up a box of condoms before too many people get up."

"Is it even open yet?" he asked a little flushed and red in the face.

"If it isn't, you can be first in line and be in and out with no hassle. So, hop to it mister! Get that skinny little booty in high gear!"

"Yes ma'am!" he said and hopped off the stool and ran for it. Apparently the power of boners is enough to overcome even the most embarrassing moments…. Maybe.

"Now then," Mabel said. She drank the last of the milk in her cereal bowl, set it down with a line of it dripping from the corner of her mouth and a few pieces of cheerios stuck to her chin. "Time to find out how to be a boss!" She bent down under the table and took the book that props up one of the broken legs. The table then went lopsided and a bowl slid off and smashed to the ground. "I'll clean that up later," she said as she flipped through the book, How to run a business, 1984 edition.

Some time later

Dipper, Soos, and Wendy walked into Stan's office, where the big chair was turned away from them. Dipper had come back a few hours ago, and now, with 15 minutes until opening, Mabel had him go around telling the other employees to come to Stan's office, saying that Stan wanted to talk to them. Oh, and when he got back he raced up stairs and hid a small box of condoms in his sock drawer.

"You wanted to see us Mr. Pines?" Soos asked as the group approached the desk.

The chair turned around to reveal Mabel with some plastic glasses frames on her face and a suit jacket and tie over what looks like shoulder pads. She scooted the chair forward a bit so she can rest her elbows on the desk.

"I'm sorry Soos, but Stan is no longer with us. I'm in charge now," she said with a grin.

"Oh no!" Soos suddenly shouted. "He's dead! It should have been me!" He got on one knee all dramatic like and started sobbing.

"What? No, no!" Mabel said. "It's not like that. He's just on vacation because we took a bet if I can make more money than him on vacation."

Soos stopped crying. Then stood up and said, "Thank you for clarifying that," and wiped away a stray tear.

"Mabel, are those shoulder pads?" Dipper asked.

"Yup! I read that if you look big and strong you can inspire respect between you and your employees! I read it in the book that's been holding up the kitchen table," she said holding up How to be a boss, 1984 edition.

She got up and walked to a black board. "You see, there are going to be some changes around here. Starting with this anagram… that I forgot to write down! But, the point of all this is to be the very best that you guys can be! And we can do it, as a team!" She held out her hand in the center. "So, 1, 2, 3, go team?"

"Nah, that's… a bit too much," Wendy said.

"Fine, fair enough," Mabel said a little disappointed

They went to the gift shop where she had them lined up. "So, to separate myself from Stan, I'm going to be making some changes around here… for you guys!" They looked at each other. "Wendy, what's something that I can do to make your working experience better?"

"Well…" Wendy said thinking. "Stan never let's my friends hang with me while I'm working."

"Say no more. From now on, it's an open house!"

"Sweet!" she said and ran off to go and text her friends.

Mabel went around the counter and was rummaging around. "And Soos," she said bringing out a foam questionmark. "I believe THIS, belongs to you!"

Soos gaspsed. "Questiony! I can't believe it!"

"Follow your dreams, my son!" Mabel said as Soos ran off to go and change.

"And as for you Dipper!" Mabel said. She brought out the wolf costume. "Oh no," he muttered, but then she put it in a box that wasn't there before. "I'm saving this for later," she said, giving him a discreet wink and her usual smile. Dipper face palmed, but secretly smiled.

"What I actually want you to do is to go out into the forest and find me an attraction that will blow Grunkle Stan's expectations out of the park!"

"You got it sis!" Dipper said and ran off. He went to the corner of the room where a giant morning star on a chain was resting. He struggled to lift it up, but once he got it on his shoulder he opened the window and hopped onto the window sill. "Dipper out!-AGH!" He screamed as the weight from the spiked ball brought him out of the window and onto some trash. "I'm ok!" He shouted at them.

"He'll be fine!" Mabel said to no one in particular. "Now, let's open up and get this jar filled!" She said holding up a fairly large jar. It then slopped out of her hands and smashed to the floor.

"You dropped the jar," Wendy said, but Mabel immediately replied with, "We'll get another one," without changing the smile or her poster.

Somewhere in the forest.

Michael was sweating. He was panting heavily. His sword was stuck in the ground, point first at the edge of the clearing he was in. His hands were sparking static electricity and smoking. Littered around the grounds of the clearing were the remains of wooden golems, basic humanoid dolls about 3 feet high. Some smashed to pieces, others cut cleanly in half. A few were blasted apart to smoldering splinters.

He was training. He cursed, "Damn it. 5 dozen training golems and I'm already tired. It hasn't even been that long since my last workout session… Shit," he straightened up and wiped his brow. "Guess I'm gonna just have to train harder."

He thrusted his hand out and it started to glow. "Reparo," he said. All of them flew black together and repaired. "Now," his hand started to glow a different color, candy blue this time. "Fire, wind, earth and water. All the elements come together to bring forth life and to follow my command." The wooden dolls glowed blue and then took on the shape of a fully grown human being. Then they became material and turned into people. About 10 looked like Tanner, another 10 looked like Red, 14 looking like different people. And only 1 looked like someone we haven't seen before. Michael looked at it. It was a male, about 14 or so, 5'10, about 130 pounds of lean muscle. "Andrew," Michael whispered. Then he shook his head and got into a fighting ready stance. "Ok then, let's begin again."

And they all attacked him at once.

Almost noon time, at the Mystery Shack

Mabel was running, well, walking really, around the Gift shop, making sure that the customers are happy and paying. "Thank you, thank you all! Yup, that's the Mabel difference," she was saying here and there. She went up to the shelf where the jar was more than a quarter of the way filled. She smiled to himself. All of a sudden, Alpha, the mod soul occupying Michael's body comes in. He walks up to her and says, "I'm gonna need a 5 minute break, boss. That outhouse took longer to clean than I thought." Then he leaned in and whispered, "Michael also came back. You can't see him now because he's immaterial, but his time is running out. If he doesn't get back in his body, he won't be coming back."

"Uh, yeah sure. Take a shower while you're at it too. Here, I need to go and sort this money anyway."

They both walked into the 'employee's only' door, just as Wendy's friends walked in. "Oh, sweet! You guys made it," she said.

Once inside the kitchen, the real Michael faded back into existence, though, he looked a little static-y.

"Oh god, finally!" He gasped, his voice had a strange echo to it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red fingerless gloves with a skull in blue flames. He put it on and slapped Alpha. He coughed out a green pill that landed in a bowl of fruit. "I'll wash them later," he said hastily. His body collapsed, face down, butt up. "Oh, that's undignifying," he muttered.

He then stepped into his body, his legs turning transparent. "Come on, come on. Work!" he shouted to it. Then he started to fizzle out and the particles were absorbed into his body. He then gasped and shot up. "Oh god, I'm exhausted!"

Almost immediately he started to sweat and bruises formed on his face and knuckles. "What happened to you?" Mabel asked.

"Training," he said standing up. He went to a cupboard and pulled out the first aid kit. From it he took out a roll of gauze and began to wrap his knuckles. He walked over to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack, then said, "It's going a bit more rough than I thought it would," he winced as he put it to his face. "But, that's to be expected."

"So what are you gonna do now?" Mabel asked.

"Now? Take a shower, do some work around here, some push up before and after dinner. And come up with a plan for the vampires."

"Hmm," Mabel said. Suddenly there was a crash coming from the gift shop. "What the heck was that?"

"I dunno," Michael said. He put the ice pack down and materialized his sword. "Let's go see if there's any trouble." They both ran off, and entered the gift shop. Once there they saw that it was just Wendy and her group of friends playing hacky sack with a shrunken head. "Oh, false alarm," Michael said as he vanished his sword.

"Hahah!" Nate said as he passed it to Robbie, "Kick it!"

He did, right into a little boy's face. "OW!" he exclaimed and started to cry.

"Aw crap," Michael said and rushed back to the kitchen to grab the ice pack.

"Charlie! No, your face, it's ruined!" shouted a woman, presumably the boy's mother.

"Oh no," Mabel said, coming forward with a jar. Michael came back with the ice pack and held it to the boy's swelling black eye. "Here mama, have a refund, I am so sorry this happened," she said, handing the woman some money. She took it, but then reached into the jar and took quite a hand full and then left. Mabel held up the jar and it was half of what it was.

Mabel rounded on Wendy and her friends. "What the heck guys!? You need to be more careful, outdoor games are for the outdoors for a reason!"

"Woah Mabel, chill out," Wendy said. "You're starting to sound like Stan," she smiled slyly.

"Wh-what? No! No I'm not!" Mabel tried to defend herself.

"Trying to bring me down from my fun high? Yeah, sounds like Stan," Wendy continued to needle her.

"Ok, that's enough," Michael said coming up to them. "Wendy, take your friends outside and send them on their way. One injury is one too many."

"Oh, and who made you the boss?" Wendy said to him, but her smile faltered as she saw the look on his face. It was impassive, stern, almost like the face of a mountain. He left no rooms for argument. The overhead lights flickered and stopped. He took a breath.

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Your friends need to go before they break, or hurt, someone else. Now," Michael said in an almost emotionless voice. She nodded and rounded her friends up and started to push them away. Before she made it to the door, he put a hand on her shoulder and said to her, "Have them all call me later. We need to have a conference call to discuss a plan I'm coming up with for our little, uh, night time problem. Got it?" She nodded again, a confused look on her face, who is this guy? She left and closed the door.

"W-wow," Mabel said, coming up behind him. "You handled that pretty well. How do you do it?"

Michael looked at her. "Mabel," he started. "Being a boss isn't about being the nicest, or the meanest to get them to follow you. It's about leadership. About knowing what you're doing. You managed to make a good amount today because they responded to what you were selling in attitude. But it's not all fun and games trying to run a business. Take what happened right now? What if he got hit hard enough to fall over and hit his head. He could have been bleeding, meaning lawsuits, hospital bills, all that bad shit. And yes, I do know what I'm talking about. I have to run an army. Hell, I have to give a state of the union speech in July to the House and the Senate."

"Wow… I had no idea that it could be so rough."

"It is and it isn't. I'm just a bit more extreme in my methods because most of my soldiers are potential walking talking nuclear bombs."

"Wait, seriously?"

"That… might have been an over exaggeration. But, yeah. Potentially. Especially the Captains. It's a bit hard to explain, but, you have work to do. And I have a shower to get to, so, see ya." he then walked out leaving Mabel feeling worse than ever. But then Wendy came back in and rang up about $200 worth of souvenirs from about 5 people and her smile was back.

Later in the day Dipper came back with something big in a sack. "How the hell did you manage to get that thing?" Michael said when he saw it. "And how are you still alive for that matter?"

"Oh, you know, shorts and determination," he said cheekily. The thing inside the shack then bit on his arm with the sack caught in it's mouth. "Gah!" he explained and then punched it a few times. "I'll go ahead and get it into it's cage," he said dragging the sack into the shack.

"Uh, Mabel," Soos's voice came from behind them. He was hiding behind a bunch of port-o-potty's peeking his head over. "I'm starting to have second thoughts about Questiony."

"Nonsense Soos!" she said enthusiastically. "You just gotta get out there and do it! The only thing holding yourself back, is you! So, I'm gonna go over and get that beast into the cage while Michael and Wendy close down shop. Go and write yourself up an act that you can do tomorrow. See ya Soos!"

She walked away and left Soos there to fend for himself.

Inside

"Get that thing inside its cage!" Dipper was yelling.

"Where the heck did you get this thing?" Michael yelled back.

"Kill it with fire!" Wendy shouted from behind the door threshold.

"I got it!" Michael shouted. "Bakudo No. 71!" he flash stepped behind the Gremoblin and placed his hand on it's back. "Rikujokoro!" 6 rods of light formed around them and shot towards the monster, trapping it in it's immobile hold. Michael dropped his hand and said, "Or, binding spell number 71, six light rod restraint. Whichever you prefer."

"Wow… that was… wow," Dipper said.

"Yeah, I know," Michael said. "I didn't even know I would have been able to pull that off in the first go. Surprised the hell out of me too."

"Yeah," Dipper said. "I actually think the, uh, whatever language you used is better in that phrasing."

"It was Japanese," Michael replied, while walking in front of the creature. He points a finger at the creature. "Hado 1. Shô." And as if something punches it with the force of a tanker truck, it goes flying into its cage, the light restraints shattering on impact. Acting quickly, Michael springs forward and slams the gate shut and locks it.

He looks back at everyone, but jumps out of the way as the creature slams against the cage. "Well…" he said. "I'm gonna go and lock up now. Everyone, just… do whatever. Soos, come and help me. Wendy… you know what to do. Bye everyone."

They went to do just that.

Later when the shack was locked up, Michael made the twins dinner and set up the UV lights inside the threshold of all the doors, and strung up a few cloves of garlic around the windows both downstairs and up. He was especially careful about not forgetting to set up the anti-vampire set up in the twins room.

"Alright," he said when he was done. "I've done all I can here. I would have set up a few spells for good measure, but I used up a lot of energy setting up a ward around that monsters cage. I have a feeling that simple steel isn't gonna hold against a monster like that."

"You are so going to have to teach me how you did that!" Dipper said. "I especially want to know how you even know all of this stuff! How did you know about the vampires when no one in town has died? Who even taught you any of this? And! And… and who even are you?"

He looked really excited, both of them did. Both Dipper and Mabel were wearing their sleepwear, Mabel had on her purple nightgown with a floppy disc graphic, Dipper some simple sleep shorts and red shirt. Michael on the other hand was still dressed in jeans and black T, running shoes and his sword casually strapped through his belt loop on his left side. He was also still sporting some of the bruises he got from training, a black eye, a scratched lip and one of his knuckles were still taped up. He didn't look as bad as before, but still looked like a biker beat him up.

Michael closed his eyes and sighed. He was exhausted. "I would be happy to answer all of your questions, but not right now." He opened his eyes and looked down upon them. "I'm not a normal human being, if you haven't figured it out and accepted it by now, that's on you. You both saw the amazing things I can do, and I did learn them from someone. But explaining all of that to you guys would take an incredibly long time and I'm already late going to my meeting as it is."

He knelt down and placed his hands on both of their shoulders. "I'm not trying to blow any of you off or trying to dodge any questions. I have a problem that's arising and I want to stop it before it gets bad."

"Has it even gotten bad?" Mabel asked, a bit confused.

Michael stood up and dug out his phone from his pocket. He tapped on it and said, "Not exactly. But it's one of those situations where if you leave something alone it'll cause trouble, like a flat tire you put rubber cement on, or let a fire die out and left it without checking for hot embers. Simple things that could be overlooked by anyone, but can cause a problem. This is what I mean," he held out his phone for them to see. It was a series of news clippings and reports, specifically autopsy reports.

"What is this?" Dipper asked as he read what was on the screen. "'Lone hiker found mauled by animals', 'camping party lost and presumed dead after evidence of fight in the camp site', 'remains recovered in the Idaho cascades, foul play suspected.' Michael, what is this?"

He pulled back his phone and locked it. "Random reports scattered haphazardly throughout the pacific northwest. Lots of monsters attack humans and then stage it to either look like an animal attack or a mugging gone wrong. How they were compiled like you saw was because a Hunter developed an app that scrounges the web for any unusual news stories that use keywords such as 'unusual animal attack' or 'mysterious accident' as well as autopsy reports released by coroners who are either baffled by how a person died or put key phrases like 'unusual death' in the reports. Hunters use this and can better track down possible monsters. All of the reports in the area suggest vampires in the Oregon vicinity. What tipped me off was a man found with his throat ripped out by an animal not too far from Gravity Falls."

"Yeese," Mabel grabbed her throat. "Well, he was a hiker in the middle of the woods, what if it was a wolf or something? Raccoons can be vicious!"

"Also squirrels!" Dipper said. "Let's not forget about the squirrels!"

"Oh yeah," Michael agreed. "Squirrels are fucking terrifying! But it wasn't either of those theories, even though they were pretty solid," he smirked at them and the twins smiled. "No," Michael continues. "I didn't show you the next page because they were photos amd were not pretty, you don't need to see that," the twins gulped, but nodded. "The serrations around the tear wounds match the patterns of human teeth with really big incisors, and traces of human saliva found around the wound, and the body was drained of over 90% of his blood." The twins lost some color to their face.

"And yes, a regular human could have gone crazy and tore out this poor mans throat because he wanted to, but what sealed it as a vampire attack, was that upon closer examination of the saliva revealed a pathogen, not unlike rabies, was found in the trace samples of saliva. The coroner written it off as a mutated strain of rabies, but it's not. And the closest town to where that man was found, is Gravity Falls. So, I'm not taking any chances. I'm the Head Captain of the Soul Society in the World of the Living. It's my sworn duty and purpose to protect the human race from enemies it can not protect from itself. And I swore on my honor that I would protect you two from any proceved threat that may do harm to you two."

He got on his knees again and hugged them. "You two are like the little brother and sister I never had, but wished I did. I'm gonna lour in these vampire murderers, and slaughter them before they have a chance to do any harm to you two." He let them go and looked them both dead in the eye. "No leaving the house until sunrise. No arguments. Agreed?

They smiled and nodded. Mabel sprang forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Promise!" She hugged him, and though Michael was surprised he hugged back. He smiled, and looked at Dipper.

He smiled too and said, "I promise."

Michael nodded and stood up. He walked over to Dippers bed and sat down. "Now then, Alpha will take care of things while I'm away. I'll be back in a couple of hours." He took out the little green pill from his pocket, brushed off the lint, and swallowed it whole.

This time they could see Michael's soul spring out from his body, he floated in the air before taking off through the wall, a draft following him. Michael's body slumped backwards and was still. After a few moments Alpha groggily got up and winced. "Wow, he really did a number on himself in training today." He looked at the twins. "He already left?" They nodded. "He left me to watch after you two?" More nods. "How long is he gone for?"

"He said a few hours," Dipper said.

Alpha nodded and got up. He walked out of the room, "Good night!" He called over his shoulder.

"Good night!" The twins called back to him as he closed the door. They looked at each other as huge grins formed on their faces. Dipper walked over to the light switch, and flipped off the lights.

Michael's PoV

"So you'll send it in the morning?" I was talking to my lieutenant, Eva Gomez on my phone. "Thank you Eva. You're sending who? Nob don't send Red, she has enough on her plate with the tour. Well who else can make the trip and not be missed?" I listened for her responce. "Her? But she can't even use the gate! And even if she could she doesn't have enough spirit energy to make it through-" I stopped as she interrupted me. My eyes widened. "Already she can hear it? So soon? That's unprecedented, it usually takes several months at the earliest. If you're sure, you can send her. Maybe I can get a gauge of her power before I send her back. Ok, thank you. See you soon Lieutenant Gomez."

I hang up my phone and turn back to face Wendy and her friends.

"Sorry about that," I say to them. "I was ordering us some gear. Tomorrow we make our mark, and gank us some vamps. Who else is excited as I am!" I smiled at them and waited for them to get as pumped as I was. But they gave me nothing, not even Lee and Nate offered so much as a smile.

"What?" I asked.

"Michael," Wendy said. "This plan you laied out for us, it's not the best."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I thought it was pretty straight forward. Lure them into the center of town, stab them in the face and get rid of the bodies by piling them up in an empty field and letting the sun burn them to ash. Simple, right?"

"Yeah, that's too simple," Wendy said.

"I don't follow."

"Ugh!" Robbie groaned and threw his head back. Him and Wendy were sitting on the couch with his arm thrown over Wendy's shoulder. "That's exactly it! You're going to lead them into the exact center of town, where anyone can watch, come out and get hurt! And how the hell can we even fight against them! We have no weapons!"

"I have axes," Wendy said.

"And I am a weapon," I said.

Robbie got up and walked over to me. He towered over my by a good six inches and I had to strain my neck to look up at him. He has a really big nose with a lot of nose hair.

"Oh yeah?" He shoved me and I took a few steps back to gain my balance.

"Woah!" Wendy got up. "Robbie what the hell!"

"What?" He looked back at her. "He's not so tough. If someone doesn't take him down a peg, he would have gotten us all killed."

"Never do that again," I said in a chilling cold voice.

"Oh yeah?" He turned back to look at me. "What are you going to do about it?" He moved to shove me again, but I grabbed his hand. "W-what? Let go of me you little freak!"

I looked at him dead in the eye, no expression on my face. The lights flickered. "Ok," I said. And shoved him back, he flew off of his feet and landed back on the couch.

"Robbie!" Wendy shouted. She moved to check on him, and I grabbed my sword from the coffee table next to me.

"Woah!" Tambry said. She held up her phone b either to call 911 or to tape it, I didn't know, or care about it at this moment. They were all in for a show.

I unsheathed my sword, tosse the scabbard onto the ground. I held it pointed up. Blue aura glowed around me as my sword glowed as well.

"All of heaven's wrath is now my weapon!" I shouted. I turned my arm so my sword rotated counter clockwise. "Awaken, Odinheime!" As my sword was turning it became energy and elongated until I was holding a 1 inch wide, 7 foot long pole with sharp tips at either end, electricity crackling off of both me and my zanpakuto.

"First of all," I said. "I wasn't kidding. I am a living breathing weapon. Second. Did you actually think I didn't take into account the location of where the battle will take place? Of course I thought that having a fight in the middle of town would attract unwanted attention and potentially hurt innocent people! I was gonna put a kido barrier around our space so that no one could see or hear us. I'm not stupid you know!"

I looked at them all, taking in the look of horror on their faces. I sighed and closed my eyes. When I opened them the blue aura around me was already fading. Odinheime shrunk down and became a sword again.

I bent down and picked up the sheath. "Sorry about that. I don't like being shoved. The point is, I know what I'm doing, but I can't do it alone. I've been running myself ragged for the past few weeks and I don't want to make a mistake and get someone hurt or killed. I need help." I looked at Wendy. "I'm sorry. I should have clued you all in." She nodded and turned back to Robbie.

A timer dinged in the kitchen. "Oh!" Tompson said. "Pizza rolls are done! Let's go eat everybody!" Everyone got up and went towards the kitchen, the fight forgotten at the prospect of unhealthy food.

They all filled passed me as I put my sword back into its sheath, though, as Robbie walked passed me I snatched his arm before he could leave. No one noticed and we were left alone in the living room. "Let me make this clear," I said. I up turned to look him in the eye. "Do that again and I won't just let you off with a show of force. I will rip off your face and stab you in the heart. And FYI, when activated my zanpakuto can hold a charge of over 3 million volts of electricity. No one will be able to find your body after that much power renders your very bones to atoms. Understand?" He was sweating, he gulped and nodded. "Good!" I said cheerfully. "Let's go eat!" I let go of his hand and left him there, possibly pissing his pants.

Mystery Shack

Dipper and Mabel were making out on Dipper's bed. Both were wearing nothing but their underwear, Dipper was on top of his sister, and his arms pinned on either side of her. Mabel had her arms wrapped around his shoulders and legs splayed on either side of him as he had both of their crotches pinned against each other.

Dipper started to move down, kissing along her neck and torso along the way, marveling at her budding breasts as he goes.

Mabel giggled. "Dipper! That tickles!"

He smirked. "Sorry! I'll just get on with it."

He kissed at one of her nipples and moved down, now on his hands and knees. He hooked his fingers under the hem of her underwear, they were white with a pink band and bow, and pulled them down. She lifted her butt off the bed to help and he slipped them off of her legs, leaving her completely bare.

"I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to this," Dipper said, his face completely red.

"Me neither," Mabel agreed, her face also red.

Dipper then leaned down and tasted her little slit, licking right along the line. Mabel breathed in. "Oh fuck yes!"

Dipper whipped his head up. "Woah! Where did you learn how to talk like that!?"

Mabel grabbed his head and shoved it back down. Dipper got the message and continued to lick. Using his fingers he spread open her lower lips a bit and licked right along the pink of it, sucking on the top a little. Her juices were flowing and tasting really sweet, most likely from all of the sugar she eats. Her breathing gets more and more hard, and Dipper sticks a finger inside the little hole he noticed. She arched her back, her juice became like a goo as she came.

"Fuck!" She shouted.

Dipper got up and sat on his knees, his chin dripping with girl cum and a very hard erection straining against his white underwear.

A minute later Mabel sat up. "Get the condom," she said. Dipper smiled, nodded and leaned over. He reached behind his bed next to the wall and got out a plastic bag. He got a box from it, tore it open and got a little square package. He tore it open and took out the rubber ring.

"I got the smallest size they had, I don't exactly have a lumberjacks log, but you were right. The teenager running the counter didn't even blink when ringing me up. He did throw in a little packet of lubricant though. I guess he took pitty on me."

He tried to put it on, but found that he tried it on backwards, the rubber strained and ripped. "Oops," he said. He tossed the broken condom into the bag, and got another one. He managed to get it on right, but his fingernail ripped it on the side. "Oh come on, really!?"

One more try, but this time he ripped it in half when trying to open the packet. "I'm cursed," he said.

"Here," Mabel said, grabbing a packet for herself. "Let me try." She managed to open it, and slid it carefully onto his dick. It was going a bit soft, but at her touch hardened again. "How come I'm the level headed one?"

"I have no idea," Dipper said. "You ready?"

"Yeah." So much for level headedness. She was shaking, as was Dipper. She lied on her back, legs spread wide as Dipper got over her, and lined himself up.

"Hear, spread your pussy open."

"And you said I have bad language!" She laughed.

"Mabel!" She laughed again but moved her hands down to open her lips.

Dipper grabbed his member with one hand and rubbed it along her pussy. Once he found the hole he was looking for, he pushed. There was some resistance but the head went in. They both hitched a breath. Dipper let go of it and put his hand back on the side of Mabel's head. They were both breath hard, Dipper had sweat forming on his brow, both could feel the others heartbeat.

Looking each other in the eye, Mabel nodded and Dipper pushed himself in all the way.

"Ah!" They both yelled. Mabel had tears in her eyes.

"Do you want me to take it out?" Dipper asked, beginning to panic. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug, both were shaking.

A few moments later, Mabel moved her hips. Taking his cue, Dipper pulled back a little bit. She sucked in a breath but didn't say anything. He then slowly moved it back in.

"This feels so good!" Mabel whispered into his ear. Dipper didn't say anything. He just pulled back and thrusted again. He continued to do this slowly for a few minutes until he hitched in a breath, jerked back and slammed back into her with a grunt. She squeaked, a bit of pain and surprise, but it felt good as warmth rushed into her.

Dipper's release left him a ragged mess, sweat dripping down his nose and fell onto the pillow. He almost collapsed onto Mabel, but managed to hold himself up and he slipped out of her. He then noticed the condom broken and a strand of white goo connecting the slit on the head of his dick to her pussy.

"Uh oh," he said. Then he fell forward and passed out. Mabel was already asleep.

A/N: this has been a loooooong time coming. I have no excuse. I lost my mojo for writing, this story especially. My Star vs the forces of evil story is pretty much complete, it just needs one more chapter to tie in the ending before I start the sequel for it. This one though, it's my bread and butter. It has a lot to go before I finish it. But I will get it done. I wouldn't say I have my mojo back, but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna finish this story and then the next and the next.

Dipper: Uh. What happened? I feel like I've been asleep for years.

Oh yeah. I forgot I used to do this. Fun though!

Mabel: you look like the guy from my dreams? Are you my soul mate?

No. I'm not. And that guy is not me. He may look like me, but its not. He is me from an alternate universe. I could explain string theory to you two, but I'd doubt it would stick. Heh heh. Quantum physics pun.

Mabel: I don't get it.

Dipper: I do!

It doesn't matter. See you both in the next chapter!