A/N: And the beat goes on... Katara and Aang have had a fight. Aang is coming back to his family as if he hasn't been gone a quarter of the year and the last trimester of his wife's pregnancy. One cannot simply walk back into family life and make demands. Toph and Zuko are trying to walk that thin line between friends and friends plus. Zuko tells the story of the time they went to see the Ember Island Players perform The Boy in the Iceburg by Pu On Tim.

Disclaimer: All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.-William Shakespeare. Fan fiction is for actors...

Chapter 8-Of Love and Marriage (Part 5)

"Still mad at Aang, Kat?" Zuko asked without looking up from his paperwork. Katara grunted in annoyance. She opted not to answer the question as she and Toph sat in the Fire Lord's study playing gently with Tenzin on the couch. Tenzin gripped Toph's finger delicately and cooed at his mother Katara. "Awww, Sugar Queen. Tenzin is so cute!" Toph exclaimed. Katara beamed and began to preen like a proud mother does. "Oh, I know right? He has Aang's hair and such beautiful gray eyes and…" She stopped when she realized she unsuspectingly fell for Toph's baiting. Her shoulders fell. "I hate you so hard." She said dryly. Zuko snickered from his spot and Toph crowed in victory. "Ha Ha! Finally! All it took was another pregnancy for you to dumb down enough." She sighed loudly. "Life is good…" Toph whispered.

Katara took Tenzin's hand off Toph's finger and scowled. "I don't think that's funny, Toph. I haven't gotten dumber since I've had children. My priorities on what's important to think about have shifted. Thinking about whether you are going to trick me is not a priority anymore. Toph smirked. "Ok, Katara…" Katara glared at Toph though of course she was unfazed since she couldn't see it. Katara sighed and began shifting Tenzin who was fussy. "Hey, I gotta go feed my little guy. Don't you two do anything that would potentially create an international incident." Katara quipped as she walked out the door. "No promises." Toph called behind her.

Zuko shook his head at his two friends' antics. He spoke gently to Toph once Katara closed the door. "You didn't have to call her dumb, you know. She's already sensitive from her fight with Aang yesterday morning over the kids. I don't think they've made up." He said concerned. Toph shrugged then frowned. "Wow. That sucks, but I wasn't really calling her dumb. Katara just never fell for the joke before. She is practically a genius. It was just deeply satisfying to get her after all this time." Toph explained. Zuko hummed. "I suppose if that's what you're into…" he teased lightly. Toph smirked. "Nah, I'm more into the tall and brooding types with really large—" Zuko cut her off. "No! Don't say it." He warned. Toph rolled her sightless eyes. "I was going to say really large positions in government but you're nasty." She finished with a sneer. Zuko laughed loudly. "No, you weren't." he challenged. Toph laughed with a snort. "Well, I guess we'll never know will we, your highness?"

Zuko laughed again and stood up. In two steps Zuko crossed the room and leaned over Toph effortlessly balancing himself on the back of the couch. Toph felt his warm breath on her neck and ear and shivered. "I could find a nice position for you if you'd like." He whispered seductively. Toph remained motionless lest she melted from his proximity and heat. She swallowed hard. "What kind of position, my liege?" she whispered a slight smile forming on her lips. Zuko stood up again and smirked. "I need an ambassador from the Earth Kingdom to the Fire Nation." Toph sat stunned with her mouth open. She can't believe she allowed herself to get played by Zuko. First time for everything she supposed. Zuko continued. "I thought about King Bumi of Omashu, but he freaks my Council out…a lot. I also thought about Haru, but I think he still hates my guts for some reason. It's hard to get a read on him."

Zuko rubbed his face tiredly. "What about you? Would you want to be an ambassador and come to the Fire Nation on occasion and give me advice on how to deal with the other nations?" he asked. Toph laughed. "I'm practically an ambassador already. I think you should get someone who doesn't have a metalbending school to run. You know I have to go back to Yu Dao by summer, right?" Zuko looked up thoughtfully. "You know the council doesn't really meet during the summer anyway because most of us are travelling to Ember Island to escape the heat. You'd be an amazing ambassador and I think you should consider it. As a bonus, it'd be nice to see you more often." He said sincerely. Toph threw her head back and groaned. "Ugh, you can't get all feely-feely on me! I'll think about it, Ok?" Zuko smiled. "That's all I ask." He said.

Through lunch and dinner Aang and Katara continued their cold war. Katara wasn't speaking to Aang for his audacity to tell her what to do with the children when he was practically an absentee father. She also didn't appreciate his insinuation that she was becoming a coarse and less refined woman because of the one word she used at breakfast. Aang was angry that his wife was becoming a woman he didn't recognize anymore who cursed in public and sent four-year olds to school and made decisions about their family without his input. Toph tried to give them some insight, but Aang and Katara quickly cut her off and stormed off in opposite directions. Toph decided the best plan of action was to stay out of their way until they resolved their issues.

It was bedtime now and Katara was feeding Tenzin in the nursery. Bumi, Kya and Izumi were all dressed for bed and waiting patiently in Bumi's sitting room for Aang to come and tell them a story like he promised. It was well after the time he said he'd come and Zuko and Toph decided they would help get the party started. "Ok, to make up for the last time I did a story I didn't finish, I'm going to tell you about the time when we all went to see a play by the Ember Island Players. The name of the performance was The Boy in the Iceburg by Pu On Tim and it was about—" "Pu…On…Tim?" Bumi interrupted snickering. The girls looked at each other and covered their mouths trying to hold in their laughter. Toph snickered at the unintended pun and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. Zuko frowned playfully. "Yes kid, don't interrupt. It's a very unfortunate play made by a person with a very unfortunate name. It's about your father and the rest of us too from the Fire Nation's point of view before the war ended. The play was a disaster." He said shaking his head.

Toph guffawed when she remembered certain embarrassing details about some of the play's characters. Zuko looked at Toph suspiciously. "Was the play funny?" Kya asked. "It was hilarious!" Toph answered jubilantly. "My part was played by some huge burly dude who did a sonic yell to "see". I felt so honored. I even got his autograph!" she chirped. The girls looked at their aunt Toph in awe. "Why did you get his autograph if you couldn't see it?" Bumi asked doubtfully. Toph sat still and "looked" in Bumi's direction. "Why do ask so many questions when you should be listening to the story? Silence…" Toph demanded. Bumi pouted and Zuko chuckled. "Yeah, there were some pretty shocking events that happened during that play. For example, your father was played by a woman." At that the children howled with laughter. Bumi's mouth hung open and he gawked at his Uncle. "No way! No way! He's definitely a man. Why would they do that?" Bumi squealed.

"Remember, when we set out to save the world, we were all just children. I was the oldest person in the group, and I was only 16. Your father was still a boy when he fought and defeated my father."Zuko smirked. Toph smiled at this and added, "Yes, and don't forget Aang hadn't hit puberty yet so he still had that really high and girly voice. Aside from the airbending, that was why I call him Twinkletoes." The children looked at one another and asked together, "What's puberty?" Zuko elbowed Toph just as she was about to answer and he whispered, "No! Not your job…" Toph grinned maniacally and sat back folding her arms. "Sorry kids! You'll have to ask your parents." She said smugly. The children groaned and whined in disappointment.

"Ask their parents what?" Aang inquired as he entered his son's bedroom in a yellow silken night shirt and bed pants. Kya asked as innocently as the dawn. "What's pooberty, Daddy?" Aang's eyes went impossibly wide and he stammered. He looked to Zuko and Toph sharply, "What in the world have you been talking to our children about?" Zuko hid his smile and tried to remain serious. "We were talking about The Boy in the Iceburg by the Ember Island players and how your part was played by a woman." Aang rolled his eyes. "Gah! That was the worst play ever! Whose bright idea was it to go anyway?" Aang complained. "Snoozles and Fan Girl's idea." Toph said. Aang sighed wearily. "Yeah, I remember now. Well Zuko was right. Some hyperactive woman with no hair played my part and danced around like a fairy princess. It was quite biased I think." Katara came in with baby Tenzin at this point and smirked. "I dunno Aang. It seemed pretty accurate to me. You are more in touch with your feminine side, what you saw that night was the truth, remember?" Aang frowned at the memory of Toph's words from all those years ago. Toph and Zuko howled with recognition and began talking at the same time about Katara's part.

"You remember how they had that—No you first. No, I insist. Ok fine. I'll go." Toph took over. "You remember how they had that scene with you and Zuko, and you and Jet, and you and Haru, and you and…" Katara's eyes bucked. "Wait a minute! Haru wasn't even in that one! You're terrible, Toph. OK! I get it! They thought I was a floozy from the Water Tribes. The play was in the freaking Fire Nation during a war that lasted 100 years! Gods! Can we all agree that this play was the absolute worst and totally not accurate at all so that our kids can go to bed?" Toph, Zuko, and Aang all laughed until their sides ached as Katara grew beet red in the face when she remembered all the uncomfortable and completely inappropriate scenes that her character was in. Tenzin whimpered at the change in his mother's voice. Katara bounced and soothed him calm again. Kya walked up to her mother and tugged on her dress. Katara looked down with a gentle smile and asked tentatively. "What is it princess?" Kya again asked, "Mama, what is pooberty?" Katara's face fell. What in the hell have they been talking about while I was gone? she thought to herself. Katara brightened her voice. "Ok kiddos! Time for bed." The children moaned as they were unable to finish yet another story even with so many adults telling it, and none of them knew what puberty was still. Story time was becoming a challenge.