"Anybody home?"
The sound of barking resonated around the home as Meatball came to greet the new visitor. A few seconds later, two heads popped out into view, one from behind the kitchen and one from up the stairs.
"Grandma Sandy!" Lita and Juan exclaimed at the same time. Lita started running down the stairs at the same time that Juan started running from the kitchen, both desperate to hug their grandmother.
"Aw, hello kiddos", said Sandy as she embraced both of them. "How have my munchkins been?"
"Good!" said the two kids in unison. They started jumping and up and down from joy as they tried to catch their grandma up to speed with what they had been up to recently.
"I got a gold star from doing all my homework!" exclaimed Lita.
"I got 86% in my last maths test!" said Juan.
"I got 100% in my spelling test!"
"I got a new videogame!"
"I got a new barbie!"
Sandy had a big smile on her face as she turned her head from one kid to the other, trying to keep up with their latest achievements. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone standing on the hallway; she raised her head.
Lizzy had come down from her room and stood in the hallway watching the whole thing, a smile on her face too.
"And how's my favorite young lady doing?" asked Sandy, extending her arms to Lizzy.
"Hi Grandma," said Lizzy, reaching for the hug.
"Mom?" Pete's voice came from the end of the hallway. "What are you doing here?"
"Well can't a grandma visit her grandbabies on a Sunday?" she responded.
Pete came up to her and hugged her. "Well, yeah, but we didn't know you were coming!"
"And I suppose you have some big plans I'm interrupting…?" asked Sandy.
"Well, no, but—"
"Then this is perfect, because I plan on taking these kids out for some ice cream."
Before Pete could say anything, Juan and Lita screamed in excitement and stared jumping up and down again.
The commotion brought Ellie to the scene, who had been out back doing some gardening.
"What's with all the screaming? Oh, Sandy!" she said. "I didn't know you were coming."
"I was just telling my boy Pete here that I'm taking these kids out for ice cream."
"I'm going to put on my shoes!" shouted Lita, who shot running up the stairs.
"Me too!" said Juan, following closely.
Lizzy looked at the Wagners and raised her eyebrows, silently asking them if this was okay.
"Oh, well, uhm, sure, that's great, thank you Sandy," said Ellie, feeling a bit clustered.
"Okay Mom, but don't take them to Six flags okay? And next time give us a bit more warning, we were planning on having dinner at 7 tonight."
"Oh, don't you worry about that, I'll get these babies back in plenty of time," said Sandy.
Pete and Ellie exchanged a look that told them Sandy was going to do anything but.
The grandmother turned to Lizzy. "Right sweetheart, I assume you're coming barefoot since you haven't rushed off to put some shoes on?"
Lizzy smiled. "Fine, let me get changed."
...
An hour later, Grandma Sandy and Lizzy sat on a park bench holding an ice cream cone each and watching the younger kids play on the swings. They watched as Lita got on a swing and Juan went behind her, ready to push her.
"Peanut!" shouted Sandy. "Be careful with your sister! You don't want her flying off!"
Juan looked up from the swings and let out a laugh, but immediately nodded.
Next to her, Lizzy licked her ice cream and smiled.
"So, kid, tell me. How are you?" asked Sandy.
"I'm okay," said Lizzy.
"No, how are you, really."
Lizzy turned to look at Sandy. "I'm fine," she said with a smile on her face.
Grandma Sandy gave her a look.
"What?" asked Lizzy, still smiling. "I'm fine!"
Sandy sighed. "Y'know, I haven't told you this but grew up a lot like you, kid. I know all about masking the real emotions behind a smile."
"Grandma Sandy," said Lizzy, "Things are good! Juan and Lita are great, they're healthy, they're doing really well in school—"
"I didn't ask about Juan or Lita," said Sandy, cutting her off. "I asked about you."
"Well, I'm good too!" said Lizzy. "I'm making good grades in school, my soccer team haven't lost a match yet..."
"Don't give me that bullshit, kiddo," said Sandy. She turned to look at her. "You can talk to me, you know that. Please don't disrespect me like this."
Lizzy fell quiet.
Sandy took a bite out of her ice cream. "I heard you agreed to the .26 hearing," she continued. "What do you think about that?"
"What do you mean?" asked Lizzy.
"You think you're ready to start calling Pete and Ellie 'mom' and 'dad'?" asked Sandy. "Or did you only agree for those two," she said, nodding her head in the direction of Juan and Lita.
Lizzy licked her ice cream but didn't respond.
Sandy let the silence sit in as she consumed her ice cream.
After a few minutes of watching Juan and Lita play on the swings, Sandy asked again. "Well?"
Lizzy took a deep breath. "I know it's what's best for them."
"Oh yeah," said Sandy. "That goes without saying. But do you believe this is what's best for you, too?"
Lizzy shrugged her shoulders and took a bite out of her ice cream.
"Still got those walls up, huh? Look, if there's anything years of past abuse have taught me is that dealing with it on your own is a very dark and lonely road," said Sandy.
Lizzy ate her ice cream, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.
"You feelin' scared?" asked Sandy.
A few seconds passed before Lizzy nodded.
"Well, that makes sense. That hearing ain't no easy thing to do. Watching your birth mother have her parental rights be terminated… It's tough. I know you love her."
Lizzy looked away.
"But that's not all that's troubling you, is it?"
Lizzy avoided Grandma Sandy's gaze. She continued eating her ice cream. When she finished the cream, she threw the cone in the trashcan next to the bench.
"Kid. Look at me," said Sandy. When Lizzy refused to turn her head, Sandy took her shoulders and turned her around, spilling a bit of her own ice cream onto Lizzy's shoulder.
"You know I got your back forever, with or without a piece of paper telling me that you're my family. You know that, right?"
Lizzy's eyes were wide open as she nodded.
"Well, you gotta trust that my Petey and Ellie have your back, too."
Lizzy dropped her gaze but did not respond.
Sandy let go of her and took a bite out of her ice cream. "I know what you're thinking. Once they find out all about your past and what you were forced to do to survive, they won't love you anymore. They'll reject you."
This caught Lizzy's attention.
"Yeah, I know that feeling. I struggle with that feeling daily. But it's wrong," said Sandy, turning to watch Juan and Lita again.
A few seconds passed as Lizzy struggled with herself.
"How do you know?" she asked.
"'Cause I also thought if I opened up to my family, they'd turn me away. But they didn't," said Sandy. "Whatever you think they can't handle, trust me, they can."
Lizzy frowned. "Did they ask you to say that?"
Sandy laughed. "Kid, it don't take a genius to figure out how much they want you to let them in."
"I…" Lizzy sighed. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"Look, Lizzy, I'm no saint," said the grandmother. "I can't say I set the best example. There're things I still keep to myself 'cause I'm too afraid to be judged for them. But let me tell you, kiddo; they eat me up a little more every day. If there's one piece of advice this old fart can give you is this: don't become like me."
As Grandma Sandy went back to eating her ice cream, Lizzy bit her lower lip.
She had a lot of thinking to do.
