I feel all of my fervent emotions boiling inside of me. Dugard is still isolated in his office and I feel ever so alone. My life, my mere existence, all seems to polarize into a singularity.
The attack from the madman, Alessa's murder, my premature triplets. All of those haunting memories revolve violently in my mind. I stand in my bedroom that is across from Dugard's office, I stare at his closed-door as I sit idly on the soft bed.
Why is Dugard so cold to me now? Why is he acting like this?
Time seems to have no meaning anymore. I feel imprisoned in a perpetual hell. I fight tooth and nail to not run out of the room and barge into the office. Millions of thoughts are rushing in my mind, along with all of the worry, anxiety, and fear of the future. They were all circling round and round in my tormented psyche.
I decide to take a short nap to collect my thoughts. When I sleep, I experience a horrific nightmare. It is lucid and lifelike, I am desperately trying to wake up, screaming for help, yet nobody comes. I'm lying paralyzed in my bed, wrapped in a comfortable cocoon of blankets. I can't move, my limbs are seemingly nonexistent. The only part of me that I can move is my head and eyes. I stare at the half-opened door mindlessly.
Then I hear Alessa's voice. "MAMA!" She shrieks. I hear her little footsteps running down the corridor towards my room. "MAMA! MAMA!" Her voice echoes in my eardrums repeatedly.
Her footsteps are rhythmic, every step is loud and clear.
"MAMA!" But Alessa never comes to the door. I simply gaze into the empty hallway. Listening to the voice of my running dead child.
Then I hear a thump. A resonating thumping sound that drums in my ears. THUMP! THUMP! I feel my heart impulsing erratically in my chest. My vision begins to blur. THUMP! THUMP!
THUMP! THUMP!
Wisps of darkness seeping through the door overflow in the bedroom, swallowing me as the thumping sound grows louder and louder. I am back in my personal hell. The madman stands over menacingly, the bloodsoaked knife brandished in my face. I hear Alessa's voice once more. "MAMA!" Her voice is different. Pained and frightened. "MAMA!" I can't see her, I can't reach her. I can't save her.
Then I awake to the piercing ringing of my cell phone blaring in my eardrum. I jolt upright with a cold sweat running down my face. I look at my phone to see that I have ten missed calls.
Three of them are from the triplet's school from earlier in the day. Two are from Grace's from earlier in the day.
I squint at my phone, still half asleep.
I turn my head to the window to see that it is already dark now. "Holy shit," I mutter in disbelief. "I overslept." I didn't realize how exhausted I've been.
I pick up my cell phone to see that it is the school calling. I arch my eyebrow at this. Why the hell is the school calling me at night? I look at the time on my phone, it is 7:40 pm now.
"Mrs. Dugard," There is a disgruntled woman on the other end when I answer. "Your children are still here."
I blink in confusion, my brain stutters. "Um...the nanny is supposed to pick them up," I explain.
"Well, no one has come to pick them up." The woman rebuffs in a sharp tone. "The children have been here since 3 pm, we've been calling you and Mr. Dugard. We attempted to call you about your daughter, Hope's behavior in class today, but no one answered."
Hope? I arch an eyebrow. I made a mental note to punish her later.
I climb out of bed. The house is dead silent now. "CHRISTOPHER!" I yell. But there is no answer. I return back to the phone call. "I'm coming. I apologize, I've been at home taking care of the baby and I was depending on the nanny to pick the kids up." With that, I dress hastily.
Why didn't Julie pick up the children? She has been an assiduous worker since we hired her. Julie has never given us trouble ever since she moved into the house with us. She greatly adores all of the children and she never misses a task.
"JULIE!" I scream when I exit the bedroom. The mansion is utterly silent, the staff has already returned back to the respective homes and the house is seemingly empty.
"Christopher?" I raise my voice slightly when I pause by his office. I notice there is no light at the bottom of the door. I dismiss my confusion as I realize that Dugard is most likely out of the house or locked in his bedroom.
I feel a chill run down my spine as the environment becomes ever so oppressive. I hurry into Beverly's bedroom.
I decide to take Beverly as she is the oldest, leaving Lori and Slyvia sleeping in their cribs. I call another nanny that me and Dugard hired in case if Julie was ever sick. Maren Moss. I call the school to tell them that I was waiting for the nanny for my other children.
Once Maren comes 30 minutes later, I leave.
As I hurry downstairs, the overbearing silence is gnawing at me.
I head into the kitchen to collect my carkeys off of the counter. "SABRINA!" I shout.
I walk outside to the SUV. I see both of me and Dugard's SUVs in the driveway. I pull out my cell phone as I hobble to the car and I attempt to call him.
No answer.
The private school for the triplets is not far from my house, at two miles, so I arrive in ten minutes. Grace's preschool is further away so I decide to get the triplets first. When I enter the front lobby, I see all of my triplets sitting in the chairs. Hope's hair is tousled, her knees are scraped with cuts and bruises, most likely from her playing at recess.
I see a middle-aged woman behind the long desk glaring at me. "Hello, Mrs. Dugard." Her voice is bitter. I could tell she wants to tell me off for not picking up my children.
"Mom!" Watson jumps out of his seat to run to me. He embraces me. "Where have you been?" He asks me.
Selyse is upset, her face visible with annoyance. "Mom, where's Julie?" She demands sharply.
I don't answer them as I can't waste time. "Come on, we need to get Grace!" I say. With that, I gather them all and I hurry the children out of the building without another word.
"Mama, where's Julie? I thought she was going to pick us up?" Hope ask me curiously. I do not answer her as I crawl into the front seat and drive.
When I come down to Grace's preschool, I'm met with a glowering, middle-aged teacher holding Grace's hand in the front lobby. "I'm so sorry, the nanny was supposed to get them!" I apologize profusely.
Grace glares at me with an unhappy frown. "Where's Daddy?" She demands.
"I'm not sure," I admit, picking her up. I give one more small apology to the teacher before I hurry to the front doors.
Grace chatters my ears off. "Today, I made the prettiest drawing ever. Miss. Corrine said it was the best! She said I'm going to be a great artist! She put it on the wall of the classroom." She is overflowing with self-confidence.
I do not respond to her talking as my mind is clustered. Why didn't Dugard pick up Grace? Where the hell is he? Where the hell is Julie?
When I return to the car and put Grace into her carseat, I clench my jaw in anger. "Julie is so fired when I get back home!" I mumble to myself. I turn on the car and I proceed to drive straight home.
"I'm tired," Selyse complains when we park into the garage.
"I know. I know. Me too." I say as I collect her out of the carseat. Once all of the children are out, I promptly escort them to the front door.
"Is Daddy home?" Grace inquires, her eyes flashing. I pull my house keys and jam it into the doorknob. "I think Daddy is…." Then my heart drops when the door loosely opens without me turning the key.
"What the hell?" I mutter in disbelief. I desperately try to think of an explanation. Perhaps Julie or Sabrina is back and forgot to lock the door? Maybe Dugard is finally back from wherever he's been?
"Mama?" I could hear the uneasiness in Selyse's voice.
Hope, on the other hand, is completely calm. She attempts to walk into the house, but I stop her. Hope looks up at me in confusion. "Mom, why are you just standing there?" She questions. "I want to go to bed!"
Am I being paranoid? Yes. Yes. I am being paranoid. A small child is braver than me. Someone is in the house and just left the door open for us to return. I reason.
"Come on," I force out my voice. We all walk in unison into the silent house. I close the door and lock it.
But yet I can't shake off the uneasiness. "CHRISTOPHER! SABRINA! JULIE!" I holler. I feel all of my muscles starting to quiver, my heart thudding in my chest.
I decide to investigate the house. "Kids, stay down here."
Hope arches an eyebrow. "Why?" She asks. "What's wrong?"
"Just stay down here!" I order curtly. "Do not move an inch!" I put Beverly down on the floor.
With that, I hurry upstairs, blood rushing into my eardrums. I feel cold sweat dripping down my back as I hold my breath in suspense.
"CHRISTOPHER! CHRISTOPHER! SABRINA! JULIE!" I scream. I think of Lori and Slyvia and I sprint to their bedroom.
When I come upstairs, I think of Lori and Slyvia and I sprint to their bedroom. When I enter, I see a deceased Maren Moss lying on the floor with one bullet hole in her forehead. I release out a blood-chilling scream that rips through me. Bile rises to my throat as I tremble terribly.
Lori and Slyvia are not in their cribs. It is as if they have vanished into thin air. My heart thuds in my chest with unshakable terror. "CHRISTOPHER! CHRISTOPHER!" I scream hysterically, running blindly out of the bedroom.
I make a beeline for the office as it is the closest room. "CHRISTOPHER! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? ANYONE HERE?"
I stand by the office door and I freeze with trepidation. As if there is an unseen force restraining me from opening this door. "Come on now, Mila.", I urge myself silently.
Regardless, for all of my personal reassurances towards myself, I am utterly afraid now, all of my rationality has vanished into thin air. For a split second, I want to run out of the house. But I have to make sure I'm not just losing my mind. I can't be a coward. Not now.
"There is nothing to be afraid of!" I say aloud.
There would be no more running away from my problems. I will NOT be deterred! Standing up straight and holding my head up high, I fight through the fear and give the door a hard knock. No answer. I knock a second time and again met by silence. With a gulp, I turn the doorknob, pushing my shoulder against the door.
When the door opens ajar, I brutally resist the urge to turn around and retreat. The door creaks noisily as I allow myself in.
Then I release out a bloodcurdling scream.
The stench of dried blood blankets the air. There are splatters of blood on the walls and the parts of the ceilings. Laying on the floor are the butchered bodies of Christopher Dugard, Sabrina Schneider, and Julie Gwan. They have been all hacked and mutilated.
Sabrina is five feet from the door, laying sprawled on her stomach in a pool of blood. Her red-blond hair is saturated with crimson as it appears that she has been brutally bludgeoned in the head.
Julie is in the back of the room, slouched inches away from the wide window that is marred with crimson handprints. Her mouth is open agape, her head droops forward and over her chest. She has the least injuries, with only five gashes in her chest. I see clumps of her dark hair in her lifeless hands.
Dugard has suffered the most. He's slumped in his office chair, his lifeless body leaning out on the armrest. His throat had been cut so deeply that he was almost decapitated. His face has been horrifically hacked beyond recognition. His eyes were missing, his entire face looks like a red slab of meat. I could see multiple deep slashes burrowed into his chest.
I can't look away. I can't even think. My brain has ceased all functions of my nervous system. Deafening ringing blare in my eardrums as I mindlessly stare.
I hear the children screaming out for me. But my attention is drawn to the deafening door slam of a door down the corridor.
Within an instant, I feel strange. I couldn't describe this sensation in words. I didn't feel fear anymore. It is as if all of my senses, in reality, have been stripped out of me. All of my thoughts in my head have disappeared into the void. I feel as if I've been completely removed from this reality.
Time has no meaning as I motionlessly stand in the doorway of the bloodsoaked office. Seeping through the silent gaps, I could hear screaming. The triplets' screaming mingling with Grace's and Beverly's wailing.
I want to move. But I can't. There is no strength in my limb, no willpower within me to summon. The chorus of screeching tortuously resounding in my eardrum.
I hear footsteps, heavy shoes walking on the wooden flooring. Footsteps deep within the corridor and footsteps downstairs. If anyone wants to strike me from behind, this would be the perfect time to do it.
That is when I feel a blinding pain soaring through me. A powerful force penetrates me from behind, a broken faucet of blood rushes down my back. A force that so powerful that I collapse to the floor motionless. I feel the powerful heat mixed with the prominent stench of gasoline overflows throughout the house.
My kids. I can only hope that they all escape as I am unable to function.
The prominent odor grows stronger and stronger, drilling itself into my nostrils. My cheeks are slick with tears like a tree that is drenched with heavy rain. The sharp odor becomes more and more potent to the point where I could identify the scent.
Gasoline.
I'm paralyzed, never before have I been so helpless. I feel someone standing beside me, but I can't see them.
I only think of is my remaining children. Praying silently that they are outside and safe. Wishing my children a mute farewell.
I know this is the end for me and I cannot run from death.
The END.
Thank you for reading. This is the first story I write that doesn't have a happy ending. Sorry for the depressing end. Reviews and thoughts.
