Chapter 29

Jonathon woke up before Harleen, she was tucked into his side and her arm was over his waist. He stroked her back gently as she started to wake. She'd slept solidly through the night for the first time in ages and he hoped she'd be much more relaxed. He watched as her eyes flickered open and he smiled at her.

"Morning, Grabby Hands," Jonathon chuckled.

"Huh?" Harleen mumbled and put her face into his neck.

"You were… crazy last night," Jonathon said softly. He was prepared for her to try and flee, but he was hopeful that she would confide in him.

"I don't know what you mean," Harleen replied quietly. "We did have dinner last night, didn't we?"

"Yes. You don't remember, do you?" Jonathon asked.

"I remember going to the toilet and then…" Harleen answered and she disappeared into her thoughts for a few seconds. She panicked a little bit, remembering the box in the bathroom but tried to calm herself down. She then felt an ache between her legs and looked up at him sharply.

"We had sex?"

"We did," Jonathon answered. "On the couch and you were not interested in stopping."

"I don't… I don't remember," Harleen whispered. Her heart started to pound and she sat up abruptly. "Jay, why can't I remember?"

"I don't know, Harl, but we'll figure it out," Jonathon told her. "I promise we'll figure it out. It might just be stress with work and being so exhausted, let's not panic just yet."

Harleen was already on the edge of a panic attack and she rubbed her face with her hands. Jonathon got out of bed and she saw the scratches on his back. She flushed bright red and looked away quickly. She was terrified of what was going on and quickly got dressed. She was in such a fluster that she just didn't hear Jonathon asking her to calm down. She almost jumped down the stairs and went into the downstairs bathroom. The box was still on the back of the toilet and she double checked the tests were there.

"Shit." She whispered.

"Harley! You're not going into Arkham today."

"Jay, I need to tell you-" she started and fumbled with the box.

"Let's see what happens in the next few hours and then we can make a judgement," Jonathon continued.

"Jay-"

"I'll call Sharpe and let him know, if it was stress related then you need time off. What did you want to tell me?" He said from outside of the bathroom.

Harleen felt her stomach clench and her heart was thundering in her chest. She didn't want to lie to him, but she was terrified of this situation. It would change everything once she said it out loud, let alone to him. It would become real and a thing she would have to deal with it. For now it was just in her head and she could pretend it wasn't real. She walked back out of the bathroom and looked at him for a moment before she tried to come up with something to break the silence.

"I… I think I better take today," Harleen whispered. "I just… I don't feel like myself."

"I'll get home as early as I can, Harls," Jonathon said softly and pulled her in for a hug. She held onto him tightly and didn't want to let him go. He kissed her softly and it only made her heart ache more.

"I miss you already," Harleen mumbled.

"I haven't gone anywhere yet," Jonathon chuckled. "Go and sleep, eat some crap food and chill out." He kissed her again and squeezed her waist a little before he left to get ready for work. She followed him round like a little lost puppy, trying to find her words to tell him, but she didn't succeed. He gave her one last hug and kissed her forehead as he finally got out of the house. Harleen locked the door behind him and let out a shuddered sigh, she hid her face in her hands and tried to take long deep breaths to calm her racing mind.

"This… this can't be happening," Harleen whispered. "This really can't be happening. I'm… I can't be pregnant."

"You're a doctor, Harleen, you know that's not true."

"Shut up. Every time you pipe up, something goes wrong in my life." Harleen snapped.

"You're the one debatin' a test and being 2 weeks late on your period. But I'm the crazy one?"

"You're the imaginary one, just a horrid little voice in my head." Harleen said furiously.

"Oh puuh-leeze," the other voice cackled. "I've been around for as long as you can remember, Harleen, I know lots about you that you don't know about yourself. You're just a host."

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Harleen shouted and placed her knuckles at her temples.

"Or what? I'm the only that's stayed with you, everyone else has run away from you. Now you've got a baby to live with too. Are you gonna tell the man, or do I have to do it for you?"

Harleen rubbed her face and tried to ignore the cackling laugh in her head. She walked into the kitchen to make herself a coffee. She was leaning on the counter waiting for the water to boil when she drifted off into her own thoughts. She was day dreaming about the future with Jonathon with and without this… baby. She had no idea what he would want to happen, but she wouldn't make a decision without him.

Harleen was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the kettle boiling and was only pulled from her daydream when the front door opened again. She noticed the kettle had boiled empty and pulled the plug from the wall. She cursed angrily and poured the water out, it was stone cold.

"But… I…"

"Harley?" Jonathon called as he walked in. "How you feeling, babe?" he walked into the kitchen seeing her holding the kettle and looking very confused.

"I broke the kettle, sorry, Jay." She sighed and put the kettle and base to the side. She ran her hand through her hair. "I was here waiting for it to boil for a coffee and… you're back early."

"It is 6, Harl'," Jonathon said with a chuckle. "Its fine, I always have a spare. Might be one we have to boil on the hob though." He walked to her and stroked his hand down her back. She was dazed and confused, he really didn't know what was going on with her at all.

"Already? The day has definitely run away with me." She mumbled. She leaned into his hand and then turned to hug him. She always felt so much better with him than without him. She snuggled in close and closed her eyes, trying to listen to the sound of him breathing.

"It's alright, Sharpe agreed for you to have a week off from today." Jonathon told her and kissed her hair. "He was actually rather understanding. Talk to me, doll, I need to hear whatever it is."

"Jay… I… I am… this is really scary to say out loud." Harleen replied and looked up at him.

"What is it Harley?" He asked. "I won't be angry, I promise. I'm worried about you."

"I'm... I'm pregnant."