"Bombs are flying, people are dying, children are crying, politicians are lying too! Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell but how are you? I'm super! Thanks for asking, all things considered I couldn't be better I must say!"

"Why are you singing?!" Peter shrieked from beside me as we sprinted through the expo, literal bombs flying, flames everywhere, everything had quite literally gone to hell in a handbasket.

"Because the song fits Pete!" I grabbed his hand to wrench him out of the way from a falling piece of building infrastructure that would most definitely have killed us. "Watch it! This place is about to-" The sudden rise of smoke had me bending at the waist from coughs that felt as if I were trying to expel my inner organs out onto the floor.

"Where is your dad?" Peter sounded scared enough to not care about the wobble in his voice, what wasn't affected by the smoke that is.

"Oh definitely out there blowing shit up not realizing we're stuck in the building." I wheezed around the grumble before snapping my head over towards a problematic uh oh. "Pete? We should-" I was cut off by a massive explosion.

I should probably rewind a bit to explain how we got here, because I didn't plan on getting caught up in this! Cross my heart and hope to die! Well, no, that might get me dead cause that was a lie. I got into the mayhem the second I decided to get stuck with Peter before the shit hit the fan. And not in the funny way like in the movie Airplane.

I don't know how the Parkers distracted Bucky enough for the two of us to slip off and go on an adventure, but it's not like he would be able to find and drag us back now with witnesses. I'm a horrible person...oh well. Peter was chattering at a mile a minute, he was actually managing to lose me every now and again because of how fast he was going. Well, up until he would snatch out an inhaler and be forced to take a pause because he couldn't breathe. Then hilariously quickly he would be at it again. He was actually interesting! Though we weren't even talking about Science! while meandering the area, no we were geeking out over Harry Potter and Doctor Who. Never have I been more grateful to find another geek who was my age, no one else seemed to get it.

"So what house are you in?" He asked with a scrutinizing eye, it was after all one of the most important questions in the galaxy.

"Oh she is DEFINITELY a Slytherin kid, no doubt about it." A voice cut in from behind a booth holding up some nondescript machine. "Who's your friend Kiki?"

I gasped, clamoring behind the table to climb up his stupidly tall frame. "Eenbean! What are you doing here?" His eyebrows flew up to his hairline.

"In case you have forgotten, I do happen to work for your Father and as one of his R and D guys had to be here. Now the real question is where the hell have you been?"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh you know the usual, was kidnapped again, the works. They tried to make me eat a Fig Newton!" He gasped in exaggerated horror before throwing his head back. "Oh it has been lonely without you kiddo."

I looked over to Peter and gave him a wink, "He's obsessed with me."

"I wish I knew how to quit you," he said before fake biting at my neck and shoulder with om nom nom noises.

"Alright, alright no need to go all Brokeback Mountain on me Ian. Peter, this is Ian, Ian Peter." I could be polite and do introductions when need be.

Ian set me down in order to get closer to Peter's height. "Hiya Peter, I take it you're a science fan?" He nodded and Ian hummed. "Well, want to see what I've been working on?"

While showing him the nitty gritty I turned my head hearing a very certain someone's voice booming from the auditorium. "Oh great," Justin Hammer was still making the presentation, but how?! I was kind of convinced that Vanko was dead, getting shot should kind of do that to you.

"I see you've noticed our uh 'guest'." Ian said with a forced little smile.

"I don't like him, mostly because he's an idiot…" We both paused hearing what almost sounded like a rocket. "Is that?"

"It's Iron Man!" Peter cheered which only brought about a sense of dread. Ian and I glanced at each other significantly before a new sound filled over the din of people. Machine guns, very powerful ones.

"Go, both of you, go!" Ian started to push us out with increasing urgency.

"Ian!"

"Now!" He yelled before getting knocked back in the flooding crowd of panicked people screaming trying to get to the exits. Peter's mask was back over his head once I snatched his hand in mine, the gloves mimicking gauntlets slightly pressing into my palms. I tried not to show the anxiety bleeding through while just about wrenching his arm from his socket.

"Where are we going?!" He called the further I dragged him while trying not to get elbowed in the face from the adults rushing about doing their very best impressions of chickens with their heads cut off.

"Away from here! Anywhere but here!" I threw the words over my shoulder, hoping he could hear me over the din of noise and chaos. That was when the first explosion started.

And so, back to the current series of events. Amazing how things can manage to go so badly in such a short amount of time, I don't even think anyone said the magic words of 'what can go wrong' either…

Now, back to the explosion in the room, I think we have to rename Bucky to Deus ex Machina because seriously how is he always able to just be in the right place at the right time?! It was positively magical, who needs a bionic hidden arm with powers like that? It was only his timing that got us out of the way of that explosion, him grabbing the backs of jackets seems to be a habit at this point. With how well practiced he is I wonder if he had to do so with Steve as often as he seemed to do it to me.

"You are bound and determined to send me to an early grave!" Despite the carnage and chaotic situation at hand I couldn't help but bark out a laugh.

"I hardly think nearing a hundred qualifies!" He didn't reward me with a response, rather instead choosing to toss Peter and I up under his arms as if we were footballs. Hitched under his armpits he sprinted through the flames as if he were straight out of one of the Terminator movies.

He only stopped once we were out by the fountains placing us onto our feet before frantically searching for injuries. "Are you hurt? How much smoke did you breathe in?"

I could see why he was asking, I was having a hard time breathing but Peter was much worse off. "Dunno, don't think so. Then again shock is one hell of a drug."

"What the hell were you two thinking?!"

"Probably running for our lives I think." Peter said between coughs which only got a rather deadly glare aimed at me from Bucky.

"Oi this is not even close to being my fault! It's not like I knew the place was going to actually EXPLODE!"

"Just because she's a Slytherin doesn't mean she made the building explode mister Bucky sir." Scratch that Peter has just won top place in my book.

"Kid, just because she didn't cause this one does not mean she hasn't caused many many others." Bucky was looking quite stressed, which only seemed to increase tenfold at how Peter looked at me with ecstatic glee, "Really?"

"I will tell you all about them in great detail," I promised before gasping, "Bucky Ian's inside!"

Bucky groaned, "Why are all of you like this? You two, stay here." He said firmly before running back inside. Then we faced a whole new Problem...the Vanko-bots were marching about with their guns at the ready. And one was trained directly on us.

"Pete," I said gripping his arm while the gun lowered further, "Pete!" He raised his gloved hand up, I almost thought I heard a whirring noise before a metallic thud landed behind us and powered up an unmistakable whine. With a blast the bot lost it's head causing Peter to jump back in shock, Dad's voice jauntily saying, "Nice work kid," before flying back up into the sky.

"Was that?" Peter asked in shock. "Yes, yes it was now we gotta blast. I don't know where your Aunt and Uncle are but Pepper is here and Pepper is the best person to go to."

"But what about your Dad?"

"That would seem to be the question wouldn't it?" We started to push through the people going the opposite way hand in hand.

"And your Mom?" I couldn't fault him for the curiosity.

"A surprisingly complicated answer, I'm adopted."

"Is that why you sound British?"

"Well how comes you sound like you're from Queens?" I stressed the accent, "I blame Grannie for this one though, it changes on and off. Sounded more Russian bout two years ago, accent's just about on the back burner." The people smacking into us caused our words to become grunted by the force. It's surprising that no one noticed just how covered in soot two almost eight year olds on their own were, or that they weren't even noticing us at all.

Through a gap in the throng I spotted my target, "Pepper!" Peter wheezed slightly once I started running, barely giving him a moment's warning before going off again. Somehow she heard me even having final words with some police officers up on the steps of the bigger building.

She had the expression one would only have if they didn't quite believe their eyes, but was quick to rethink it once I slammed into her legs. "God! Oh my God!" I'm not sure how she was physically able to kneel down to my height in that tight of a skirt and her monster heels, but I've learned to never question anything when it comes to Pepper. "Anika, where have you been?"

"Can we do the explanations once everything is resolved?"

She glanced over at Peter, "Honey who is this?"

I rolled my eyes and struggled not to let out an exclamation of frustration, "Pepper Peter, Peter Pepper can we go?"

"Ani-" "Kiki?" Peter said, fear sending a quiver into his voice. It was the kind of tone that one must never ignore, it always spoke more about a situation than most would think. As one Pepper and I turned to look first at him, then towards a sudden beeping down the step along with a red blinking light.

"Uh oh," yes, real smart Anika, truly the epitome of your genius right here in this very moment. There are MULTIPLE bombs right in your immediate area and the only thing you can say is 'uh oh'.

"Okay you two we've got to go," Pepper was about to stand before I saw Dad's suit coming in.

"Pepper grab us round the middle!" Thank the ever loving lord she acted before questioning leaving less than a second for Dad to thusly himself wrap his arms around the lump of bodies taking off with what felt like fractions of a second to spare. Peter was making a noise that I wasn't quite sure was a cry of fear or one of elated joy. Hell it could be a mix of both because I was certainly feeling it, this was...a bit precarious the way we were all being held together.

We only flew to land on a building about a block off, which I could see why once his suit was sparking and contorting from just how severely damaged it was. Pepper yanked herself from his grasp leaving Peter and I to kind of slink off to the side a little, his shock allowing for easy movement.

"Oh my God I can't take this anymore, I can't take this anymore!"

"You- look at me!" Dad gestured to his suit.

"My body literally cannot take the stress; I never know if you are going to kill yourself or wreck the company or-" Peter and I were kind of stuck just watching them go at it, heads turning from each as if they were playing a tennis match.

"Hey all things considered I think I did okay!" He waved his hand out over the carnage and was rewarded with an explosion. Said sound made Pepper twitch. Their weird back and forth of resignings, yeses, nos, excuses, and everything in between was hilariously difficult to follow, and this is coming from seeing the kind of arguments over the little things that could last a day. Though I will say, both Peter and I gaped at how they then seemed to come to the conclusion that Pepper was leaving before playing tongue hockey. All this happened in the span of like ten seconds too!

"Is this normal?" Peter whispered, too stunned to even be phased that it was Tony Stark in front of him due to the whiplash of the last thirty seconds.

"No, this is new. I'm actually shocked they finally did it." That seemed to be the thing that broke him from the stupor.

"You know mister Stark?" Shooketh, that's the word I would personally apply to one Peter Parker in this very moment.

"Oh very well, quite-" I...am being squooshed, squished by a set of metal arms trying to make it so I can never breathe again from the sheer power of such a hug, "Hi Daddy,"

"You, need to stop being so jeopardy friendly young lady. It's like you're purposely flirting with death specifically to scare me."

"You first."

"Okay I deserve that one," he finally noticed Peter, "who is this?"

"I made a friend! Dad Peter, Peter Dad." I shot out the names with a giant cheesy grin still in a metal hug.

"The one time you make a friend your age and it has to be in a situation like this?" Pepper seemed just highly amused by it all.

"Yes, seeing as I told them specifically to stay where I put them which was out of danger." A new voice said and I winced.

"Heeeey Bucky, buddy, listen...funny story huh ah-"

"But we had to get to Ms Potts!" Peter jumped to defend me, outraged that we (mostly me) were being called out after the fact. "It's not like we set off the bombs."

Rhodey sitting off to the side started to guffaw and cackle with unconstrained mirth, prompted further by a dawning look of horror on Bucky's face. "There's two of them,"

"There indeed are now two of them." Rhodey's grin was not unlike a shark's, or an alligator. "And it looks like they're both your obligation now nanny."

Bucky glowered, "I can and will kill you, in as many painful ways possible."

"Or you could handle babysitting the wonder twins inside a lab by yourself, huh Uncle Rhodey." Dad was quick to throw his own teasing into the mix.

"Wonder twins?" Peter and I kind of shrugged at each other, I'm mostly wondering if Dad was actually high off of adrenalin right as of this very second.

"I don't imagine you two will want to lose contact? I know you, you're my daughter, you'd manage to hitch hike back here to have a playdate if you wanted to."

"No I-" my exclamation was halted from a triage of identical expressions that all said 'you ain't fooling me kid', "Fine, yes, you're right."

"That's what I thought, so science kids that are jeopardy friendly, ergo wonder twins."

"Pepper please don't let that be a thing." I begged the sanest individual present.

"I don't know, I actually quite like it."

"Traitor." My quip had no bite to it whatsoever and all it got was a good laugh from everyone present. "So ah," I said eyeing just how badly the suit was damaged, "how are we going to get down?"

A/N

Did anyone understand my gibberish from last time? Hello again, nice ta seeya! See how much time I've got with being quarantined? It's actually kind of amazing, well, I don't feel so amazing. But hey if I'm sick at all later I wonder what other crack scenarios I can put our favorite boys and girls in eh? All based off the fever dreams.