. . .

. . .

TJ eventually made his way upstairs and into bed. Sasha, ever loyal, followed him and joined him at the foot of his bed. Curled up under the covers, he held the phone to his ear.

"I'm sorry we couldn't reach you in time, dude," CJ spoke on the other end. "The crowd was really thick and we couldn't push through."

"I probably wouldn't have noticed, anyway. I think I blacked out through the whole thing," he said. "You guys shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it. It's okay."

It's okay.

Everything is okay.

. . .

. . .

"Did you get suspended?"

"In school suspension, so I guess I'll see you guys at lunch, at least," TJ said. "I think it's because they would've felt bad suspending me after what happened at the dance."

"Austin, too?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm sorry, CJ. I'm just really tired, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Talk to you later." TJ hung up the phone and let it drop to the floor. She shouldn't worry about him. None of his friends shouldn't have to worry about him. They had their own lives and shouldn't waste it worrying about him-

"TJ?" His dad opened his bedroom door. He didn't have time to pretend he was sleeping. "Dinner's ready."

"Okay." It took most of his energy to climb out of bed and follow his dad downstairs with Sasha trailing behind. Even with her food bowl filled, Sasha refused to leave his side as he sat at the kitchen table.

"How are you feeling, TJ?" His mom asked. He shrugged and poked at the food in front of him. He either felt nothing or too much, currently the former. Both were exhausting, and he didn't have any energy to spare nowadays. Sleep sounded so nice. "Your father and I want to talk to you about something."

"You want to send me to another school," he said. TJ didn't have to look up to know they both looked surprised. "I woke up on the couch earlier and heard you talking about it."

"Well, yes, we do. We should've considered it a long time ago," his mom said. "We're looking at different options right now, but hopefully we'll get you to a different school sooner rather than later. And we want your opinion on the options."

Same school, different school, home school, it didn't matter. But he nodded as he listened to his parents to be polite. They were trying so hard to do what's best for him, how could he be mad at them for that? He should be mad at himself for not handling his own problems like a normal person, for possibly costing his parents more money if they sent him to a private school, for definitely costing them money when staying at the mental hospital. . .

TJ took a bite of his food. He wasn't hungry, but he knew we wasn't eating as much lately, and if it made his parents worry less, he'd force it down. It's the least he could do, though it was hard fighting against the rising nausea.

"We know this means not going to the same school as your friends, but you can always spend time with them after school," his mom said.

His friends, they'd be happy to not have to defend him anymore. Especially CJ. What kind of boyfriend was he if his girlfriend fought his battles? It was supposed to be the other way around, wasn't it? Going to another school would give him a reason to break up with her, and she could find someone better than him to be with. She was just too nice to break up with him.

Nobody wants you here.

They'd be happier without you.

"I don't feel good," TJ said. "Can I take my medicine and go to bed? I ate most of my food."

He parents let him, but he didn't make it to the cabinet that held his medicine before he emptied his stomach on the kitchen floor. His head throbbed, but he wasn't sure if it was from the fight or not. Until now, his focus was on what was going on in his head, but now everything that happened today was hitting him physically.

He was guided upstairs and collapsed in bed after emptying the rest of his dinner and cleaning himself up.

It hurt. Everything hurt. His head hurt, his body hurt, his thoughts hurt and he just wanted it to stop but nothing was working, and probably never will. The ringing in his ears was back again, deafeningly loud, and he couldn't hear what his mother was trying to say to him. He just wanted to sleep and get away from all of this for a few hours.