The rest of the meeting was uneventful. Hagrid's tale filled in a lot of missing information but ultimately didn't change the Order's current situation. The Giants had refused any alliance with Dumbledore or the Order and so they were back at square one. The remainder of the session had consisted of monotonous check ins about various key Death Eaters of interest. Tonks had the feeling that they either knew they were being trailed or had made the assumption as not a one of them had done anything worthy of note for the past several weeks. Dumbledore had assured everyone that this meant their tactics were working if it stopped the other side from recruiting. Regardless, it made for a very long and boring meeting.

By the time the end of the meeting was called, Tonks was so far gone she hadn't even noticed until Remus and Sirius got to their feet on either side of her. "Well that was pretty useless," Sirius whispered, stretching his arms above his head.

"It wasn't useless," Remus countered. "Tedious but not useless."

Tonks sprung to her feet, realizing she was now the only person still seated. She misjudged her own momentum and would have ended up sprawled on the floor if Sirius hadn't caught her by the arm. She swore he hadn't even looked. Perhaps they had spent enough time together now that he could predict when her lack of coordination would strike. He helped her to balance herself before releasing her arm.

"Fine useful but torturously boring," Sirius replied without missing a beat.

"Well at least it is over now!" Tonks replied cheerily.

It was a week night so most of the other Order members failed to linger long after the conclusion. Only Mundungus loitered, most likely hoping to be invited for a nightcap. When Sirius started levitating the tables back to their original locations, he seemed to give up, muttering a short goodbye as he headed toward the front door.

Tonks hummed to herself as she assisted Sirius and Remus in tidying up by washing the dirty mugs and glasses left in the wake of the Order's departure. Despite the tiresome content of the actual meeting, she felt the night had gone particularly well. Sure Molly had made a fuss and Moody had made a lesson of it but those reactions were almost to be expected. For the most part her and Remus' relationship had been accepted unconditionally. Looking back she wasn't even sure why she had been so anxious in the first place.

"These are the last I think," Remus said, placing a stack of glasses in the sink. "Sirius is just getting the last of the furniture back in place."

Tonks rinsed her hands and turned to face him, smiling, "Good we can relax then."

Remus shrugged apologetically, "Not me unfortunately. I have hall duty tonight."

Tonks pouted, "You think since they all know we are together now, they'd be kind enough to give us a night off together once in a while."

Remus smiled and brushed a clump of stray hair out of her face. "I've got to get going," he said. "Tell Sirius I said goodnight." He leaned in to kiss her briefly. "Good night, love."

"We'll miss you tonight," she replied as he left.

She glared at the remaining dishes, wondering if it was worth attempting a cleaning spell or if she should just hand wash them.

"Just leave them for Kreacher," Sirius said from directly behind her. She hadn't even noticed him enter the room. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck. "We've got better things to do," he added, snaking his arms around her waist and grazing the crook of her shoulder with his teeth. She shivered.

"I confess, I wasn't sure how to feel tonight. I think I was jealous but I'm not sure of which of you," his hands drifted upward, beneath her shirt and he began kissing the back of her neck. "I wanted you both but the thought of you together was almost as enticing."

She felt like she must be melting, her skin was so hot and her legs felt shaky. "Remus had to go," she managed. "Hall d-duty."

Sirius snickered at her stutter. "Just you and me then for now." He twirled her around in one swift movement and brought their lips together.

She had little recollection of how the made it upstairs, just blurred impressions of his hot mouth on her, first her mouth then her neck and other lower places. His firm arms had supported her most of the way. They had crashed through the door in a state of mostly undress.

He had pushed her down on the bed rather roughly, ripping at the remainder of her clothing. She scratched at him and he bit her, resulting in a deep moan. He seemed to have no restraint left. He pulled her hair and kissed her with such ferocity she felt he needed her more than air in that moment.

When he finally entered her she came so hard she would have fallen off the bed had he not been holding her.

Afterwards they fell apart panting, too hot and sweaty to comfortably touch.

"Holy mother of Merlin," she gasped.

"That was quite good if I do say so," he replied with a smirk.

They laid in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the post coidal bliss.

Finally Tonks' rolled closer, laying her head on his chest. She felt his body tense so she moved to kiss him, much more gently than before.

He pushed her back, "I'm going to need a little more recovery time than that," he said.

Tonks rolled on her side and gave him a quizzical look. "I'm quite satisfied. I- I just wanted to kiss you."

He looked confused and uncomfortable at her response. She contemplated him, equally confused by his response. It then occurred to her that she could not recall very many instances of them kissing outside of sexual encounters.

All at once she realized her mistake. "Oh," she whispered. "I- I'm sorry," she replied quickly looking down at the sheets. She must have misunderstood the nature of their relationship. Remus was in love with her. Sirius she didn't doubt loved her in his own way, but perhaps he was not in love with her, not in the way she was suddenly realizing she was in love with him.

"Oh. I'm so stupid," she muttered, curling her knees to her chest. When Sirius had first proposed a three way relationship, she had taken that as an invitation to a true relationship with both Remus and himself. But in hindsight, what he had really offered was a relationship with Remus and sex with him. Sirius most likely viewed their arrangement as friends with benefits. She only wished she had realized this before she had allowed herself to fall for him. Though with her track record that probably won't have made a difference.

It was only now that she was faced with the rejection of her affection that she realized how truly deep her love for him had developed.

"Stupid?" he asked. His voice sounded tight.

She looked over at him. "I didn't realize that you don't feel the same way."

She noticed that he was breathing hard. The look on his face was akin to terror. He looked away.

"I'm sorry. I guess I thought we were more than just friends who enjoy shagging," she continued. "So I overstepped bounds."

Sirius remained quiet and turned away for so long she wondered if she should make up an excuse to flee the room. Finally he rolled onto his back. Still not looking at her, he spoke, "Tonks I'm too fucked up to deal with this. Remus is the one you want for all this emotional shit."

She hadn't realized the intensity of her emotional reaction and she was as surprised as Sirius was when she burst into tears. Sirius jumped up to a seating position and pulled her close. "Fuck Tonks, please don't cry. I'm not worth all that."

This comment only made her sob harder. Sirius held her tightly and rocked her gently back and forth against his chest.

"I-I-I don't even know why I'm crying!" she bawled.

She attempted to pull away from him but he held her firm. "Look, I don't do emotions well," he explained through gritted teeth. "That doesn't mean I don't … care for you."

Tonks sniffed and cleared her throat. "Sirius, I love you," she said into his chest. "I'm in love with you. Like I love Remus."

He squeezed her tighter and rested his chin on her head. "I know, love." Then he pulled her back from his chest and wiped at her tears. He kissed her softly, easing her back down onto the bed. When the kiss ended her pulled her flush to his chest once more. "I'm shit at showing it but I feel the same," he whispered.

"Really?" she asked, her voice muffled by her proximity. She had the horrible thought that perhaps he was just trying to placate her to get her to stop crying.

He sighed deeply. "Yes really. I suppose you won't believe me until I say it." He put his hand under her chin and tilted it up until she was looking into his eyes. "Tonks I love you. I am in love with you."

She smiled and felt more tears welling up, but this time they were the result of relief and happiness. She kissed him again, deeply, hoping that he could feel the sincerity of her feelings for him.

When they stopped, he looked away but didn't move. "I'll tell you what I told Remus. I'm fucked up. I will fuck up. But I'm trying," he paused for a long moment. "That's all I've got."

"It's enough," she answered. She moved her head down to rest on his chest and he ran his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep.