Chapter 26
„Ah, you're doing excellent. All parameters are content, we can work with that. I think today is the day we can try to turn on your vision, if you're willing to."
Briareos agreed with a silent finger motion. For weeks he had been in this hospital, surrounded by constant darkness, having heard nothing about Deunan, or anything at all despite his own condition, and even there he knew they didn't tell him everything.
By now they had slowly lessened the suppression of his nervous system, allowing him to feel his body again, but also allowing him to feel pain, and pain he did feel.
Not like the sharp pain of an open cut, not the stinging pain of a clean shot through a muscle, it was more an aching, a throbbing pain, numbly pounding like thunder through his structureless body. Everything felt heavy and foreign, it had taken him more than days of almost constant trying to be even able to move his fingers, and he still could barely feel them, could barely feel if he was even moving them.
He was still not able to speak, and he assumed that his vocal cords had been badly damaged, maybe just as bad as his eyes, but he would worry about that later. Today would be the day he would finally find out how his new eye implant would work and he hoped that he would see well enough to be able to resume his duty rather quickly, not doubting for even a second that he would return, because he had to return, he had to find her, make sure she was safe.
Briareos remembered what had happened, well, most of it at least. He remembered that he and Deunan had been in on a specific mission to free Africa of Russian's grip and he remembered that they had been successful. He remembered how they had traveled all the way to Mayaba and he remembered that they had split up to take out the last enemy soldiers. The last thing he remembered was her soft smile as he had told her to stay safe.
Don't worry, like I trust anybody here, but you.
Those had been her last words he remembered, but he hoped it hadn't been the last time he would hear her talk. This was the reason why he wouldn't give up, no matter what the doctor told him. This was the reason why he didn't care how badly injured he was, he didn't care what replacements or implants his body would need, as long as he was able to leave this bed and to return to that world, where he had left her behind.
It was his duty to protect Deunan, he had promised Carl to make sure his little girl would survive, but now he wasn't there, and though he knew that Deunan was more than capable of taking care of herself, he worried, no he was freaking scared. What good would it do if those people here pitched him back together, if they tied him to this world, if she… if she was…
"I will repeat myself again, Sir. To activate your vision, we will have to stop any suppression. This will give you some physical relieve but it will be primarily painful and it will probably confuse you, like I told you before, your vision will not be the same as it was before, and we will probably have to adjust it several times and it will take some time to practice until you'll get used to it. I'm not going to lie to you, the weeks ahead of you will be even worse than what you've been through so far, so whatever God you believe in, or whatever thought keeps you fighting, hold on tight to it. You will need it."
The doctor sounded like he was coming closer.
"Let me tell you again, soldier, if you want to survive this, you need to keep fighting, because what awaits you will be worse than anything you know, so…"
Briareos lifted two of his fingers. He was aware what the doctor was telling him, he was aware that the pain he felt so far couldn't be in any comparison to the pain he was supposed to feel and he knew that rehabilitation was a heavy task, it wouldn't stop him, wouldn't break him, no matter what was about to happen.
He didn't believe in any God, but he had a reason to fight for, a thought to keep him alive. He didn't care what laid ahead of him, what trials and challenges he had to endure and overcome, he knew there was nothing in this world capable of keeping him from pursuing his one duty.
"Fine, I will not bore you with repeating myself once more, Sir, just as you wish. First, we set off the medication and if you're stable, we boot up your visual system, alright?"
Briareos lifted his thump.
"Very well, please brace yourself, it will hurt."
And that hadn't been a lie. Briareos spent the next several hours in agonizing pain, it felt like all his organs had been ripped apart and stitched back together with iron fibers, like somebody was clawing through his brain with bare hands, pulling his muscles apart with glowing tongs. He had a tough time feeling his body, it all still felt like structureless mess, like a burning structureless mess.
There was something, that could have been his legs or his arms, but if he weren't aware how the human body was build up, he wouldn't have known, all he really felt was the unlimited pain flooding his body, flooding his mind, controlling and overwhelming his heart and soul. There was nothing he could do, in this impervious cage of darkness, unable to reach or to call out for somebody or something, nothing but…
Deunan
As the time passed, he realized that the doctor had been right, below the pain, subtle and inconspicuous, the heaviness of this undefinable body seemed to lessen. No, to be more precise, it was still heavy, even heavier than Briareos imagined a body could feel, but this dullness seemed to slowly disappear, with every minute passing by he got more certain that he was able to move if he would just try, despite the pain, despite the agony, he was certain that he would be able to move now and that secureness gave him new strength.
If he was able to move, able to see with the help of the visual implant, then he would be able to do what he had to. He didn't care if his voice wouldn't come back, he didn't care how damaged he was, if he was able to move, he was able to fight and that was what he would do.
"It seems your stress level is dropping. Tell me your current sense of pain."
He tipped his pointing finger four times.
"This is a lie, soldier. But if you're in the condition to lie, we can proceed, I assume."
He moved his thumb as an agreement and again he noted it; it was way easier to feel his fingers, to feel the movement. Unlike before he felt them move, could feel them touching something, but… something was wrong. The rough movement he got, but this heaviness, this strange sensation; maybe the pain was altering his perception, but he kind of doubted that, so what…
A sudden light interrupted any further questioning. After weeks of darkness, the dull light seemed too bright, but Briareos was unable to just close his eyes.
"Very well, it's working."
He couldn't share this enthusiasm right now.
"Now, now, Sir, you said you didn't want another repetition, so I assume you already know what to do. If it's blinding you, you have to…"
Oh yes, he remembered. He had to actively imagine the movement of closing his eyelids, so that his brain could work on that. He didn't remember the exact explanation. Work on that was what he remembered.
The next thing he realized was, that although he wasn't able yet to shut out the light with his artificial eyes, the brightness didn't actually hurt him, although he was under this light for several minutes by now, it didn't hurt; except for the uneasiness it didn't really bother him. He didn't have to close his eyes. His implant didn't need to be closed off from the light every few seconds.
The next hours he finally learned how to see with his new eyes and the doctor had been right. It was nothing like he was used to. This had nothing to do with just opening his eyes and looking at something. He felt like he was supposed to work a super-hightech camera, without any buttons, without manual, and without any clue what to do. Well, it actually was exactly that.
The doctors explained him multiple times how to do this and that, how to zoom in and zoom out, how to turn off the damn tool bar, which had suddenly shown up right in the middle of his visual field, and all the other stuff, and mostly, it didn't work.
It was frustrating to say the least. Briareos knew he wasn't the smartest when it came to technology, but he wasn't stupid either – given that he had to deal with stuff like this on a daily basis in his job – still it didn't feel like he was improving at all and the ever-present pain didn't help him at all. At least he knew now how to turn it off, but after days of darkness it wasn't his favorite thing to do, and even if he did, sometimes the stupid tool bar would still show up, a constant reminder that he had lost his natural eyesight.
But he wasn't a man of regret, Briareos was more than willing to give his eyes in order to keep Deunan save, and if he wanted to make sure, that she was alive, he needed to get this damn camera – actual multiple cameras as he had been explained, but he didn't care for the moment – to work.
After several hours he was finally able to turn a plain vision on and off on his will. Plain meaning without any tool bars, any reference lines, or any other special effects. He wanted to yell at those doctors that he didn't need stuff like that, he just needed normal functioning eyes. He needed no line to tell him how far away the ceiling was or if one doctor stood in a right angle to the other one. But he couldn't talk, so he had to deal with it.
"You did very well, Sir. I think we should call it a day for now. My primary focus was to give you a connection to your surroundings via vision. The rest will come with practice, so be patient. Try to sleep for a while."
He stared at the blurry head of Doctor Wilder, he was still not able to control the zooming, so things jumped in and out of focus as they pleased, but he didn't really care, for at least he was able to see anything at all. He could also not move his vision by will, and because he had been not able to move his head so far, all he could do was stare straight ahead at the ceiling, multiple blurry heads looking down at him, the one from Doctor Wilder now sliding out of his vision.
But now he tapped his pinky and as the pain had lessened over the hours of concentration, he felt it again. This movement wasn't natural, he couldn't quite grasp it, but his body was too heavy, even exhausted, even at the brink of dead he had never felt this heavy, especially given how easy he could move his finger. It was heavy but still it moved just as easy as always, and that just didn't sum up.
"You want to continue?" The voice of another doctor – Dr. Prum if he wasn't mistaken – asked him.
He moved his thump.
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Sir, but don't strain yourself, you must be exhausted from the day and the pain. You just learned how to use your artificial vision on a basic level. We don't want to force anything."
Briareos sighed, or at least he wanted to. He could feel that he was breathing, could feel his aching chest rising and falling, yet the sigh didn't leave his lips… which he didn't feel… Slowly it dawned him. He could feel his body, his fingers, hands, arms, legs, feet, and he could control his breathing on his own will, yet… the feeling while doing so wasn't normal and if he held his breath for a longer time the annoying tool bar would pop up, now colored red and showing a warning signal.
"Sir, what are you doing? Please it's of importance that you keep breathing steadily," he was immediately scolded by the doctor, who seemed to observe him almost 24/7, only rotating with one other doctor, named Matsumoto, both supervised by Dr. Wilder.
No, this wasn't right, now that he thought about it. Shouldn't he have a dry throat after days of operations and living only on drip-feeding? His eyes were gone, fine, but he could smell just fine, so why didn't he feel his chapped lips? He could move his fingers just fine, so why couldn't he move his mouth even the slightest?
Maybe his vocal chords were damaged, but why didn't he hear his own breath, while being well aware that his chest was rising and falling?
"Sir, your pulse is rising. I know this situation is uncomfortable for you, but you need to stay calm. Any excitement might be lethal for you, so please…"
He didn't listen anymore. At first they had suppressed parts of his nervous system because of the pain, so he had barely felt his body at all and during the day the pain had been so present and overwhelming that keeping his composure had been his main focus, but now without any medication dulling his mind, without being consumed by pain, now it was clear as a day: The doctors had been lying to him about his condition.
But the thing was, now Briareos could see and he could move, he wasn't helpless anymore.
"That's good, Sir, very well. This is a steady but calm rhythm. Let's keep communicating, are you feeling better?"
He wanted to communicate? Well, he could have it.
Making a final decision Briareos took a deep breath – feeling his chest rise but not hearing the air entering his throat – tensed both his arms and pushed himself up.
"Sir! Please, stop this right now. Call Dr. Wilder immediately! Sir, you need to calm down! If you keep moving, we need to restrain you."
It was heavy. He felt like he tried to move through mud, his limbs barely complying to his orders, his muscle too weak to support his body. He felt countless tubes tearing on his skin and body, but it felt odd, it all felt odd.
The warning signal in his vision started peeping in red, it almost felt like he could actually hear it in his ears. He realized that the doctor and a nurse were trying to push him back into bed, but it was too late, he was sitting upright in his bed, his vision straight ahead, zooming in on the foot of the bed – his vision making the bed looking huge, like made for a giant – then zooming in on several instruments and machines, switching to any person who dared to move within his field of vision, and suddenly on the shadow right in front of him.
In front of him was another bed, just as huge as the one he was lying in, a dark shadow, looking like a mutated rabbit facing him. But then his vision cleared up and he realized, it wasn't some fictional animal, but a cyborg with strange, pointy ears, huge red lenses, five of them, instead of eyes, and the being was covered completely by some grayish-silver material, that seemed to be a metallic skin, if that were actually a thing.
If the cyborg had not been sitting in a hospital bed, Briareos would have mistaken it for another medical instrument, maybe to perform operations, maybe even a new form of landmate or fighting machine, but then it hit him. This was probably a person, just like him, probably even a soldier, who had gotten badly injured – blown up by a bomb perhaps – and now they had gotten replaced almost anything about their body by artificial implants, just like Briareos had been with his eyes and with his…
He felt the silent click in his brain as the pieces came together, as a familiar image, a memory, crossed his inner eye, as he slightly tilted his head to the right and the science fictional figure across of him mirrored his movement.
This thing in front of him was his reflection.
Briareos had difficulties to breathe as he stared straight ahead, not noticing what was happening around him, only seeing this being in front of him, realizing and not understanding at all.
Take my body, but my soul is hers.
He remembered how he had prayed to this God he didn't believe in, how he had dared that mystical being to take Deunan from him, and God had listened. He remembered the bomb, remembered that very moment, the certainty of death, yet he was here, partly here.
His body was gone, he was nothing more than a pile of scrap metal, but despite any rationality telling him otherwise that could only mean one thing.
Deunan was alive!
This certainty spread through his body like he had just seen her entering this very room, yet all he actually saw was this reflection of what was supposed to be him, and something broke apart.
He stared at the hands in his lap, huge, bulky, grayish, somewhat human-like hands, but not his hands, not his palms, not his fingers. They opened and closed as his own would have, but those weren't his. This was synthetic, artificial, not human.
He never had a childhood, never had been innocent. All he had ever treasured had been what had been given to him by Carl, his work, his friends, and Deunan. The only thing ever being truly his, ever being under his control alone, the only thing he had ever been able to fully rely on, had been himself, his mind and his body, and now an unknown God had taken his body, had left him behind in this burning world, being nothing more than what he had always been, a heartless, emotionless, war machine, now on the outside, just as much as on the inside.
He wasn't human anymore.
"You wanted to talk to me?"
He looked up, Nike was standing next to his dentist chair, arms folded, her face as calm as always.
"Yes," he confirmed, moving in his seat to reach a more comfortable position, while paying attention to pulling on any tubes or plugs attached to his body. "I've just sent you a mail with some contact information about a good friend of mine, Aaron Smith, who lives in Imperial Americana."
She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head.
"You want me to arrange his relocation to Olympus?"
He shook his head.
"No, I mean, if he wants to, then yes sure, but from what I know his family is satisfied with the way they live."
"Then what do you want me to do?" Her voice was just as calm as always, her face just as expressionless as his own, but her icy blue eyes sparkled dangerously. "You know that I'm not favoring Imperial Americana and although I have no personal hostility towards its inhabitants, you should be well aware that I will not encourage any closer cooperation."
Nike voicing her distrust that openly surprised him. She was known for her diplomatic phrasing and neutral statements, keeping personal opinions out of state affairs, so disapproving his connections so vividly showed him, that she actually started to open up to him.
Briareos wasn't certain if that should fill him with worry or some kind of pride.
"Nike," he said plain, "I understand your personal stance, and I don't plan on arguing with you about it. Still, I'm not asking you a favor right now, it's a demand."
The corner of her mouth twitched slightly, otherwise she remained calm.
"I want you to organize a state visit for Aaron and his family, probably between two and four people, four weeks from now."
She nodded swiftly: "That can be arranged."
"I'm not done yet. In case I fail my mission – and believe me I'm not planning on that – I want you to hand over all files and data you guys have about me to Aaron's son Tom Smith."
"What?"
"Yes, he's going to be a doctor, specializing in cyberization, currently focusing on the Hecatonchires, so I will support him with all I have and that means that…"
"You can't be serious, Briareos," she huffed – an unusual reaction from her – and waving his request aside with her hand. "this is nonsense. We will not give all our information about the only Hecatonchires ever existed so far to a citizen of Imperial Americana. I don't care if he's your friend's son. I will not risk Olympus' position about some child's dream of becoming a…"
"This is not your decision!" Briareos grumbled deadly and stood up, looking down on her. "This here has nothing to do with your position or with Olympus. This here is solely about me and my will in case I die. All that this happening here right now, this mission here, all this is because of me, only because of me. If I hadn't survived the operations, there wouldn't be any Hecatonchires and Olympus wouldn't be in some kind of leading position concerning cyberization and all that crap."
He folded his arms and raised his chin, well aware of the pulling tubes, attached to his body.
"You're might be risking your position here with this mission, but I am risking my life here, for Olympus' position, like I've been doing the last couple of years, so when I'm telling you that my will is, that some freaking boy from Imperial Americana will receive all existing files about me, including every single operation and every single secret mission, all you will ask in response is 'on paper or flash drive?' You got that?"
She didn't look impressed at all, even less scared or uneasy, all she did was tilting her head from one side to the other, regarding him closely with her icy eyes, clicking her tongue disapproving.
"So, this is your will in case you fail this mission and die, am I correct?" He nodded. "And what is your demand in the unlikely case that you might succeed with your mission? As far as I'm aware of the latest data, your chances lie around 2%, right?"
Damn, she was smart; Briareos was more than certain that she would've made an unbelievable capable ESWAT operative and he knew all too well why Deunan kept clashing with her. This unmatched wit, combined with a superior mind and intelligence, absolute emotional control, fearless and focused. She wasn't in her position by accident or someone's god will, she had taken that position, because she had been able to, because she had been the best to take it, and right now she showed damn well how to stand her ground.
"That's correct. In case I survive, I will be the one to hand over the files and I request a currently not precisely determinable number of vacation days, so I can place my service at Tom's disposal."
She huffed slightly again, but simply nodded.
"You are aware in what kind of condition you will be, even if you succeed?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "You will not be able to travel anywhere, and even if I agreed to all your demands, you cannot possibly expect me to allow you to travel around the world after this here, even with protection?"
"I'm not planning on leaving Olympus anytime soon, Nike. I know I won't be in any condition to do so, that's why I want Aaron and his son to come here. But I know that you have already laid out a tight schedule after tomorrow and I know that in case of my survival you will stuff my schedule just as much, that's why I'm telling you now, so you can arrange."
Something that could have been a crocked smile hushed over her cold face.
"Now? Like early? You're telling it me less than two hours before reaching ground zero. This is not some kind of negotiation, this is blackmailing."
"I'm well aware."
"And you know, that in case of your failure, I will be the one, who has to stand straight in front of Deunan and tell her what happened?"
He nodded.
For a long time she simply regarded him, the calm expression never leaving her face.
"Fine," she finally agreed, "but listen well, Briareos. Until Tom Smith steps on Olympus' ground, I own you. I will drag you to every appointment and if I order you to wear a pink tuxedo you will only ask 'with a matching bow tie?' You will be the one to explain everything to your raging tomboy, and you will be the one to explain Athena why a foreigner you haven't seen for more than 15 years, if I understand correctly, will receive high secret information we even kept from you for your own safety."
She was neither loud nor mad, just calm and focused.
"In case of your survival I don't want to hear a single complain, neither from you nor from Deunan. And in case of your failure, I agree to your demands, but beforehand I will receive all data myself."
"But…"
"I will not alter or remove anything at all that concerns yourself, you have my word, but I will not risk Olympus' safety because of your will. As you are aware, you have knowledge of security numbers, emergency plans, and even worse. You certainly do not expect me to share this information to risk this country you protected the last years with your very own life."
He shook his head in defeat.
"Very well, I can agree on that, but just for the record, I do not appreciate that you decided to keep information concerning myself from me."
She raised her hands apologetically.
"I know, we talked about this and although I do not regret that I did, I understand your point of view. Therefore, I accommodated your will that easily, because I respect you and therefore I promise you I will not withhold such information from you ever again, not even in best interest."
"I'd appreciate that."
She swiftly nodded and turned around.
"Well, now that that's settled, I have to leave. Like you said, I have a tight schedule, I'll be back in time to see you off."
"Okay, and Nike," he stopped her while sitting down again, "thank you, for everything."
She looked at him over her shoulder and for the first time he could actually see her smile.
"You're welcome. But to be straight with you, Briareos, I know that you're in a difficult situation and your current tension with Deunan is probably not helpful either, but after this mission is done, I will not tolerate such behavior anymore."
Her smile grew and inch, but then it was gone, and she walked away, leaving Briareos behind on his dentist chair, next to the giant tube.
He sighed softly, even Nike was behaving differently, this mission was affecting them all, but he was actually feeling like it was about time to start. Up until now his job had been to be there, to be available whenever somebody needed him – or rather his body – but all Briareos had been able to do, was wait.
Now, in less than two hours, he would be finally able to take over control, and Briareos preferred to be the one in control. Sighing again, he leaned back and blocked out anything to see, engulfing into the darkness he once had hated.
"Good morning, Briareos, how you're doing?"
He stared at the ceiling, neither moving nor reacting.
"Stop scaring the crap out of me, laying there like you're dead. If you're not at least acknowledging me when I greet you, I will immediately start to emergency defibrillate your heart to make sure you're alive, got me?"
He lifted his hand but didn't reply at all.
"Good boy," she praised him like a dog doing a funny trick, "now let me check your stats. Actually, I should start with the examination, but I give you a few minutes to ease up. Don't let me regret that."
Briareos nodded and sighed deeply. He liked Matsumoto most of the whole team responsible for him. She was always smiling gently and always took the time for some private chatting – she had been the one staying with Briareos after he had regained consciousness and had talked to him non-stop to keep him sane – but she never urged Briareos to something he disliked and never patronized him.
"Hmm… you haven't been sleeping well. I know you said that you're usually manage well with five hours or less, but I have to remind you that your current condition is really draining for your mind. I know it's not easy, but you need to sleep, so your mind can rest, even if you don't feel that tired, believe me your mind is."
He didn't respond again. The nights were long and dark, but he didn't dare to sleep, the looming nights trapped in this room and his mind were exhausting, but he preferred them to his dreams.
"Your other readings are okay, I guess, not great to be honest, but at least it doesn't seem like you're rejecting anything. The temperature is good again. I'm glad to be honest, I was really worried about you, didn't want to lose you after you made it so far."
She really liked to talk, but somehow she wasn't annoying, she wasn't pestering him with questions or other stuff, but filled the air with a lighter mood, her voice always sweet and soft, even when scolding him.
Briareos still observed the ceiling he already knew so well, it would be an easy thing to sit up and watch her studying his data, but he didn't want to, he couldn't shut down his artificial vision, because the darkness had become his enemy, but he didn't like to watch anything, so he stared at the ceiling, seeing it and not seeing it at the same time.
"Oh, by the way, I cannot make any promises yet, but if you behave well, I might have some nice treat for you tomorrow, after all tomorrow's tuesday."
"I'm not a dog, Akira, would you please stop treating me like one."
She laughed softly.
"If you stop barking at anybody talking to you."
She wasn't wrong. Except for her and two from the nurses he actually didn't like any from the team – especially not those other two snobbish doctors – and he was in a too bad mood to care about such trivial things like respect and courtesy. Of course he knew that they had saved his life, but oh well… He didn't really care.
Only around Matsumoto he felt the energy to at least try to be friendly, maybe because she didn't care how rudely he treated her, she still smiled at him with so much compassion and gentleness that it was hard to hate her, and he had tried, he really had tried.
"They're annoying," he explained.
"They're trying to help you, my dear. You know damn well that you're still not over the hump and they're all worried that you…"
"They are all worried that their lab rat dies, and they have to find another…"
"Briareos!"
She was the only one to call him by his name, the only one, who talked to him like to a friend, mixing private and business together and now she had just slapped him, her patient.
But that wasn't what shocked him. She stared down on him, her usually smiling lips quivering, and her dark brown eyes squinted together, obviously trying to hold back tears.
It was unprofessional, was the first thought in his mind. She was a doctor, no matter what a patient said, she should be able to control her feelings, his death had nothing to do with her private live, only her work would be affected, so she shouldn't act like this was…
"You are a very stupid man," she stated, her voice surprisingly steady, given that she looked like she was about to cry, "and I will not tolerate such badmouthing, neither about my colleagues nor about you. If you want to gossip a bit about Dr. Wilders new tie, I'm all here for, if you want to rant about Andre's fake accent, let it all out, and if you want to complain about the taste of the food, I'm in. But don't you dare believe that anybody of us sees in you nothing more than an object for experiments, and don't you dare call yourself something like a rat lab, do you hear me?"
Yes, he liked Matsumoto, gentle, soft, but oh so strongminded Matsumoto. She was the only one able to keep up with him and the only one to stand up to him.
She grabbed his hand and placed it on his chest.
"What do you feel?"
"Akira, I…"
"What do you feel?!"
Carefully he sat up, withstanding her glare, and listened.
"My heartbeat," he finally answered.
"Yeah, and don't you forget that." But then, just as the anger had come, it hushed away, and she smiled just as softly as before. "I need you to keep fighting. Deunan needs you to keep fighting, okay?"
He looked away.
Matsumoto had been the only one he had told about Deunan, and as far as he knew she hadn't told anybody else about it. As far as he knew she hadn't told anybody about anything he had told her, except for the health relating topics.
He didn't know why he had opened up to her so easily, maybe because she was so unusual from all the other people he knew, her naivety and uplifting mood kind of reminded him of Nathaniel – and the never pausing babbling as well – but also she was the only one, who really treated him like a human, not like the cyborg he now was, not like the soldier he had always been, not like the assassin he had once been.
She treated him like she was pure of any prejudice and maybe that was the reason why he had opened up to her. For the first time in his life he could be just Briareos, and given that he had never felt less like himself before in his whole life, it was something quite liberating.
Slowly he nodded and looked back up.
"Good, so shall we start?"
He agreed and one by one they tested and protocolled all his capabilities. It was a draining process, usually taking up to three hours, from simple movement and body functions over the complexity of his artificial brain cooperating with his real one, to the tiniest sensor.
After they were done Matsumoto would evaluate the results with Dr. Wilder and those annoying engineers, who would later come in to help Briareos adjust his body to his will.
"I like the sound of your voice today," she remarked as they worked through her multipage long list, "it fits you better. Is it closer to your original voice?"
He nodded.
"I guess it's as close as it gets. It's still not… it still doesn't sound exactly like me, but what can you expect from a machine?"
"Nah," she scolded him directly with a raised finger. "I know the synthesizer alters the voice slightly, but if it's not close enough to your actual voice, you need to tell me, and we adapt."
He shook his head.
"It's fine, really. It's close enough."
She raised an eyebrow but gave it a pass. Learning to talk had been difficult for Briareos. It wasn't like with his artificial vision in the beginning, when he simply had had to imagine his eyes movement for his cameras to catch up. There were no lips to move, no vocal cords to sound, just some strange machine taking the words his human brain came up with from his artificial brain and turning it into sounds. It had been difficult, at first he had not been able to produce any sounds at all, then it had been impossible for him to separate his thoughts from the words he actually wanted to say – and thus had said some things he should not have, although he didn't apologize for what had been true – by now it was okay, sometimes it still slipped into one direction or the other, but by now he was able to communicate almost normally, even able to produce such wordless conversation parts like sighing or mimicking a deep breath, the only issue was so far, he had to actively think about doing it, unlike in his real body.
"Ajda told me about some of your requests for your body, I didn't think you were actually going for modifications. Didn't you tell me you were fine as long as all would work like your original body used to?"
Ajda Saygun was one of the engineers working with Briareos on improving his new body.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, I thought you guys would release me at some point, but Wilder still locks me up, so if I can't go back to work, I might use the time to get out of this body as much as possible. There needs to be an upside on having a second brain in my body after all."
She chuckled slightly.
"Oh dear, I told you rehabilitation takes time. Some people take years to get accustomed to their one implant and look how far you have come in just a few months." Then she sighed. "I just wished that you wouldn't upgrade your body to become a weapon. I mean, I know you're a soldier, but…"
"I'm not going to have this discussion with you. You may lecture me about my health and scold me about treating your colleagues poorly, but you will not have a voice in my profession, I'm sorry. I told you, my priority is to find Deunan and I will do whatever I need to, to protect her, and if I have nothing but this body to do so, I will improve it as much as possible in the time you guys lock me up here so that I can take on my task."
Matsumoto looked up from her list and regarded him for a long moment.
"But Briareos, after you found Deunan, what will be your plan? The war is about to end, you won't have to fight anymore, so why design a body like this? Why not live a normal life in Olympus, like the rest of us?"
He observed her for a moment. All his life war had been something looming over the world like a dark shadow, maybe the current fights would end, but he didn't believe that war was actually close to an end. Maybe the former countries had disappeared, the leaders, who once had declared war, were dead by now, but the human race didn't change, new nations would rise, new leaders would greed for power, and war would rule once more.
"You're a good person, Akira, but I'm a soldier, this here, the war out there, the fighting, that is my normal life, and don't you tell me you aren't like me. Do you really think after all you've seen, after all the things you've been through you could just go back to some cottage hospital to treat sprained ankles and coughs?"
Maybe that was the reason why he liked her, oh he would probably never figure out why people would like one another or not.
Akira Matsumoto had been a war refugee just like Briareos now. Olympus' airship had found her on a battlefield, the last living medic trying to safe dozens of doomed soldiers, instead of running for her life, saving herself from the fire.
The scars of her battle were easy to be seen, on her face, neck, arms, tiny and bigger spots of once burned skin. Just like Briareos Olympus had saved her just in time almost a year ago, on former Chinese ground.
Since then she had lived in Olympus, officially, although she had left it as soon as her injuries had allowed it to help victims of war. Although no soldier, Briareos doubted that she was that much different to the ones like him.
But the real reason why he asked to the changes on this foreign body was a simple one: what other use would it have?
He had always been a soldier, an assassin, a killing machine, it was his job, his duty, his life. If this body wasn't able to fight, there was no reason for him to have survived in the first place.
Of course he would have preferred to just leave this hospital the moment he had been able to stand up – and he had tried – but the security system was not too bad, unfortunately. He had still not completely given up on just getting up and leaving, but truth be told, he wouldn't come that far.
He wasn't on that airship anymore that had saved him. Apparently, he had been moved into some hospital in Olympus, a freaking artificial island, and he wasn't certain that this bulky, heavy new body of his could float on water, so he had no idea how to get to Africa in time.
He could probably kidnap a plane, but chances were high that it would get shot off, so taking all of that into consideration, it was probably for the best not to resist for the moment until he had a better plan.
"Let's change the topic," he mumbled, "have heard anything from LA?"
Now she was the one to avoid his glance.
"This is how you change the topic?"
"So? Any news?"
"Come on, get up. I want you to walk a straight line in the corridor."
Carefully he stood up, he wasn't good balanced yet, this heavy body and the multiple point of views from his vision made things a little tricky, and as far as he knew, he wasn't even working with all new features yet this cyborg body had to offer.
"Don't avoid my question," he dared as he walked in front of her out of the room. He was able to control the volume of his voice most of the time, but he wasn't good yet in showing the feelings he wanted to get across.
"There is nothing new to tell you," she finally explained, "the West Coast got attacked and all active operatives fell during the bombing."
"Yes, yes, I know." Now he was almost glad that the pain in his body wasn't able to be reflected in his voice. Five weeks ago, he had heard it and although there was no hope for Aaron or the others, he kind of hoped that Carl could have made it. Maybe he had been in a hospital. There was a specialist Aaron had urged him to consult, living in Seattle, maybe he had been there and had been safe. "But maybe…"
"There are no news about Carl Knute, I'm sorry."
He walked the straight line she had asked him to. It wasn't easy, his heavy body wasn't moving to his will as he was used to, although he had a hard time remembering how easy his real body had felt.
"You're getting better at this."
She meant well with her praise, he was aware, but he still had a hard time accepting that walking a straight line was actually an achievement he should be praised for. Despite all the days and weeks, he had spent in that bed, unable to move, he still held on to what he should be able to do, and he wouldn't settle for less, he couldn't.
"Briareos?"
He turned for her.
"If you'd let me, I could organize people to look for Deunan as…"
"No." He declined and walked back.
"Don't be so stubborn. I'm trying to help you here. I have friends in the military, they could…"
"They could die, believe me. Deunan is no ordinary soldier, Akira, if Olympus' forces would go after her, she would see them as a threat and eliminate them and then I would have no chance at all of finding her."
She rolled her eyes and lifted her right hand with spread fingers. He hated that test. Rough motions like walking, getting up or moving his head worked fine, but the more complex and delicate it had to be the more issues he had. He was supposed to touch the tip of each of her fingers once with the tip of each of his fingers. It was one of the most difficult exercises for him.
"Briareos, let's face it here. In your current condition we can't let you leave unsupervised. It will take weeks, maybe months until you're able to live a normal life with this body, even longer for you to train it to your physical standard. Who knows how long she'll last out there, all on her own."
He knew she meant well, but he didn't like that she took the liberty to criticize him like that. Well, it had to be expected. That was the downside that she treated him like another human being, she didn't know who he really was, didn't fear him like most people did.
"Don't underestimate Deunan, Akira. No matter how long she needs to, she will survive. But she won't trust anybody out there, so the only one she'll be willing to listen to will be me." He sighed slightly. "But she probably won't recognize me the way I look now, so I need to be able to fight her long enough to convince her that I'm really me."
Matsumoto didn't reply and so they continued in silence.
"You know, I have been thinking," Matsumoto mumbled, scribbling something down on her list, "you're so determined about your path, about what you want, and who to protect. You really impress me. Like you know how dangerous your condition is and yet you don't even seem to falter. It's a miracle you survived that explosion and all those operations. Your progress is nothing short but inhumanly fast and all you care about is the safety of your friends. You're really amazing, Briareos."
If he could blush, he probably would now. He didn't like people talking about him like that, after all he was only trying to get back on track. He wasn't trying to achieve some miracle, to be something special, all he wanted was to become of use again as fast as possible. He needed to become the soldier he was before the explosion, he needed this artificial body to work at least just as well as his old one he had lost for good.
Maybe it was impressive for civilians, but Briareos wasn't a normal human being, had never been. Carl had not picked him because he had been average, he had chosen Briareos to turn him into the best soldier there was. Briareos had trained his body for more than twenty years – almost his whole life – so that he had become the perfect soldier, and now he had to become this once more. This artificial body wouldn't stop him, he wouldn't allow this weight to pull him down or make him slow. If he wanted to be the wingman Deunan deserved, if he wanted to protect Deunan the way he had promised Carl, he couldn't settle for average. The days in the darkness, the days lying helplessly on this bed he had felt sorry for himself, had allowed himself to mourn and to hate what he had become.
But now there was something he could do, now he was the one in control again, so he buried any dark thought, any doubt, fear, or sorrow; he buried any sadness, agony, and pain. He wouldn't falter, not under his own fate nor the loss of his friends and the place he had almost called home. He wouldn't falter under the fear that Deunan might had died already. All this was not allowed to break him as long as there was something he could be useful for, as long as he had a purpose, and his purpose was solely to protect Deunan.
"So I've been thinking what I want to do with my life, and I've decided that after you're released and will probably search for Deunan, I will take on my own journey as well. I'll go home to help rebuild my hometown."
He looked up.
"You'll return to Japan?"
She nodded, her subtle smile enlightening the room like always.
"You know, I love my job with all its bright and dark sides, but I miss my culture, I miss my people, and if I see what you're willing to do for the people you love, what you're willing to endure for Deunan, it inspires me. I want that you become just as healthy and strong as you can be, so that you can follow your path with all your might, and then I want to do just the same with my own path. I might not be a soldier, but I have a duty as well, not to protect or to shelter, but to rescue and to save, so I will go back to where I'm needed. I'll go back home."
For a long time he simply stared at her, long forgotten the task of touching his thumbs with each of his fingers after another, simultaneously with his left and his right hand.
"Okay, we're done for now. I think I wrote everything down. You should try to rest a little bit and eat something. And if you're having trouble with cutting your food, please ask somebody for help this time and like I told you before, no hot…"
"Akira," he interrupted her, "that sounds like a good plan."
Now she blushed, hiding slightly behind her list.
"Thank you. I'll be going then, see you tonight."
"Hey, Akira," he called after her, "I would gladly accept your help in finding Deunan, but make sure your friends don't try to get in contact with her. She will kill them if she notices somebody is tracing her."
Suddenly her smile turned bigger than he had ever seen.
"I'll tell them."
