Chapter 23
"So," Shayera said bravely, sitting on her bed with her lunch in front of her in her stark Watchtower quarters while Diana sat on the metal stool in front of her desk.
"So," Diana echoed with much less enthusiasm as she stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork. Shayera sighed.
"It was never my intention to hurt you," she said. "But, to be honest, I'm still not entirely sure why you're upset." Diana gave her a sharp look and Shayera held her hands up. "I want you to explain it to me. Ok?" she said and Diana reluctantly bit back her harsh words.
"Well, you know things were strained between us after the Thanagarian invasion," Diana began and Shayera frowned but nodded. Strained was an understatement. Diana had been furious at her and voted her out of the League. She had been unforgiving, to say the least, when Superman had broken the tied vote and allowed Shayera to remain.
"I thought we were reconnecting that day in the cafeteria," Diana said. "When we talked about how much Bruce had hurt me."
"That was a good day," Shayera agreed. "But given that I didn't repeat anything that you told me that day to Bruce, I don't understand what I did that made you so angry."
"I thought you were empathizing with me," Diana said. "And that you agreed with me about how badly Bruce had treated me."
"I did," Shayera said as she scooped her cranberry sauce onto her chicken sandwich. "But when I heard his side, I realized you both were to blame. Not that being mismatched is anyone's fault," she said quickly.
"But Bruce and I have always been friends. I wasn't going to hate him over your romantic dispute. Especially not when both of you were contributing to the issue." She shrugged. "What happened between you two doesn't make either one of you a bad person. So why shouldn't I want to be with him?" Shayera said as Diana chewed on some pasta.
Diana sighed.
"I guess in the moment, it felt like a betrayal. Like you had been lying to me in the cafeteria when you had taken my side."
"Oh," Shayera said softly, with more understanding. "Well. I have been known to lie," she said grimly, thinking back to her participation in her people's invasion. And the months and years leading up to it when she had befriended and deceived the members of the Justice League as to her origins and her intentions.
"Yes," Diana murmured. "But I'm sorry I reacted so strongly. It was a shock to hear you were dating. I hadn't realized you two had been spending time together, so my last impression of you was that you were judging Bruce as harshly as I was. I felt manipulated," she said.
"I'm sorry, Diana, truly," Shayera said regretfully. "That was never my intention."
"I probably put too much importance on having an ally as well," Diana admitted, knowing that she needed to take ownership for her part. "I was so hurt by Bruce. Which, as it turned out, was partly from me misunderstanding his intentions and clinging to hope that he would change his mind."
"Well, it was a difficult situation for both of you," Shayera said. "I know he told you 'no' and tried not to be around you too much, but you weren't the only one hoping that the situation would change." Diana sighed.
"It would have been so much simpler if we hadn't both been in love," she said.
"Definitely," said Shayera sympathetically before taking a big bite of her doctored-up sandwich.
"Do you love him?" Diana asked her curiously. Shayera's eyes lit up as she chewed and swallowed.
"I do," she said with a smile. "He's so comfortable to be around," she said, stretching her wings out as if just the thought of Bruce made her relax.
"That is… not how I would describe him," Diana said thoughtfully. "Ever. He's fascinating to be around. Exhilarating, maybe. Exciting. But not comfortable. Not for me, anyway."
"Well, that's not how I'd describe Lex Luthor, either," Shayera said with a cheeky grin. "But I'm guessing that's how you feel about him?"
"Totally," Diana beamed, feeling a burst of happy bubbles float upwards from her tummy to her heart. "Being with him is so relaxing. He's the only person I've ever met who doesn't drain my energy even a little bit, no matter how much time we spend together."
"Yes!" Shayera said, flapping her wings a little bit in her enthusiasm. "That's how Bruce is for me. And he makes me laugh, so much, Diana. I haven't laughed so hard since leaving Thanagar. Most humans don't get me," she said.
"I'm too much of a snarky bitch, I think, to use their term," she said. "But that's how Thanagarians are!" she exclaimed with frustration. "We're a blunt, war-like people. We snark!" Diana giggled.
"I totally agree," she said firmly. "Hey!" she yelped as Shayera threw a pillow at her. "You said it, not me!"
"You didn't have to agree so quickly," Shayera grinned at her, feeling relieved at the camaraderie blossoming between her and Diana again.
"Lex makes me laugh, too," Diana said thoughtfully. "Bruce never did." Shayera gave her a look.
"I guess you and Lex must be made for each other, then. Because laughter and Lex Luthor do not go in the same sentence," she said. "Unless it's an evil, villainous laugh," she chuckled. "As he's destroying the world."
'Hey!" Diana said, smiling broadly as she picked up the pillow from the floor and threw it right back at Shayera. "He doesn't do that anymore."
"Well, leave it to an Amazon to turn a strong man into a groveling, love-struck sap," Shayera laughed. "You did good on that front, sister."
"I hope we can convince the rest of the League of that," Diana said nervously, concern seeping into her voice. "I'm worried that J'onn is sensing so many doubts about the mission today. It's important for this operation to be a success."
If the rest of the Justice League refused to go along with their planned mission to nab all of Lex's compatriots in one fell swoop, things would get dicey for Lex. He would become their new target once they realized that he was, in fact, reforming and betraying them, and that was the last thing that Diana wanted.
"I know," Shayera said. "Who's spent time with Lex so far? Besides you, obviously. Wally and J'onn have, right?"
"Yes," Diana said. "And Lois and Clark came over for dinner last night."
"No," Shayera said in wonder. "Lois Lane had dinner with Lex Luthor?"
"Yes," Diana giggled. "And got drunk off her ass."
She smiled, remembering Lois's insistence on downing numerous gin and tonics, as well as Clark's easy acceptance of his girlfriend's coping mechanism of choice. At least Lois didn't have to worry about getting home safe with Superman escorting her, but Diana was sure that she must have woken up with one hell of a hangover this morning.
"Lois is a wise woman," Shayera laughed. "But what did she think of Lex?"
"Well, she's always going to hate him for trying to kill Clark," Diana said seriously. "But she was pretty cordial. For her."
"Did she think he was being honest, though? About loving you and changing?" Shayera pressed. Diana frowned.
"I'm not exactly sure," she said. "Clark believes him. But Lois? I think she was more focused on patching up our friendship. A situation which I seem to find myself in frequently, these days," Diana added dryly.
"Well, that's what happens when you date a super-villain," Shayera said cheerfully.
"Oh, please," Diana scoffed. "The issues between you and me had nothing to do with Lex."
"Of course they didn't," Shayera said playfully. "I was lying again. In an attempt to not be a bitch." Diana dropped her jaw open wide in mock offense.
"I'm going to have to start using my lasso on you every time we talk," she teased.
"It's not easy being Thanagarian," Shayera mused. "My only choices are bitch or liar. It's a lose-lose for most people. If I were you, I'd take the occasional lie," she winked.
"I take it Bruce doesn't mind the bitch," Diana said with amusement.
"Diana, he is a bitch," Shayera laughed. "That's why we get along so well. All we want to do is avoid other people and hang out in the Batcave."
"Hm," Diana said, thinking again about how much she and Lex loved people, and how happy she had been having Lois and Clark over for dinner last night, and how much fun they had had going out with Wally and J'onn earlier in the week, and how much she was looking forward to hosting big social gatherings with Lex in their penthouse.
"You know," Diana said, "Lois and Lex both told me that you and Bruce were assholes and that was why you got along so well," Diana said.
"Ok, that was too much honesty," Shayera said severely. Diana raised an eyebrow.
"You're lying again, aren't you," she said suspiciously. Shayera snorted.
"Obviously. Bruce and I take pride in being assholes. I have an idea, though," she said. "Let's call Lois and ask her if she thinks Lex is being honest with you."
"Why do you want to do that?" Diana asked her before taking a bite of salad.
"If she says yes, we can ask her to come up to the Watchtower for the all hands meeting and talk to the rest of the League about her observations. They'll believe Lois. She fucking hates Lex."
"Oh," Diana said. "That's clever." She pulled her phone out and dialed Lois's number.
"Hi, Diana," Lois said when she picked up. "What's up?"
"I have you on speakerphone," Diana said. "I'm here with Shayera."
"Oh, God, one of you isn't bleeding out, are you?" Lois said. "Tell me you're not giving me a scoop on a mortal death match between the two fiercest women of the Justice League."
"Ha ha," said Diana. Shayera snorted.
"I like her," she said.
"I can hear you, you know," Lois said. "Do they not have speakerphone on Thanagar?" Shayera busted out laughing.
"Lois, you and me are going to have to hang out!" she said in delight. "You're as bitchy as me and Bruce." Diana gasped and held her breath. There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.
"Did you just compare me to Batman?" Lois slowly snarled. "Batman!?" she screamed.
"I thought you'd be more upset about being called a bitch," Diana said, fighting a smile.
"Well, you know what they say," Lois said archly. "Takes one to know one." Shayera snickered. "What the hell do you two bloodthirsty bitches want, anyway?" Lois said briskly. "I'm busy down here, you know."
"This is important," Diana said. "J'onn sensed the members of the League having doubts about our operation against Lex's villains on Sunday night."
"The operation that you three deliberately withheld relevant details about from me last night at dinner?" Lois said pointedly. "So that I wouldn't explode into a pile of burnt coffee grounds from burying a scoop?"
"Oh," Diana said, realizing her blunder. "Um. Yes."
"Fantastic. How does that concern me?" Lois said sarcastically as Shayera chortled.
"We were wondering if you believed Lex that he loves me and is changing," Diana said. "Or if you think he's lying to me and is actually deceiving the League and going to kill everybody."
"Oh, make it a hard one," Lois snarked. Diana huffed.
"Lois, I'm serious. This could make a big difference to the League, ok?"
"How?" the reporter asked bluntly.
"Because," Shayera said. "You hate Lex Luthor more than anyone."
"True," Lois said with pride.
"So," Shayera continued, "if you think he's telling the truth about loving Diana and wanting to round up as many villains as he can to protect her, then we need you to beam up to the Watchtower and tell the League members that. At our meeting in thirty minutes."
"You need me to do what now?" Lois squawked. "Publicly defend Lex Luthor? To the Justice League? In outer space? Oh, hell no," she said.
Diana and Shayera looked at each other in dismay.
"So you believe him?" Shayera asked.
"I did not say that," Lois huffed.
"You didn't say you don't believe him," Diana said cautiously. Lois groaned loud and long before apparently holding the phone away from her head to let loose with a string of curses. Some of which were not in English.
"She lived overseas as a kid," Diana whispered to Shayera amidst the not very quiet background of Lois's profanity. "Her dad was in the military."
"Guess she picked up on the local culture," Shayera said with a twinkle in her eye.
"Lois?" Diana called loudly when Lois paused for breath. "It would really help us out."
There was another stream of grumbling before Lois's voice came through loud and clear again.
"Diana," Lois said sharply and firmly. "I cannot - repeat, cannot, publicly defend Lex fucking Luthor. I love you, Diana," she said. "I do. I mean that. I'm glad he's not fucking you over so far. But you want me to come up there and tell your team to go risk their lives against him and a bunch of his worst baddies? What if it's a trap and they all get killed?"
"Do you believe it's a trap?" Shayera asked her. "Because it sounds like you think he loves Diana."
"Yes, I think he loves her," Lois snapped impatiently. "Ok? Are you happy? Geez. I hate his fucking guts and he seems like he's in love with my best friend."
"I'm your best friend?" Diana said with a pleased smile.
"Oh, my God. Yes," Lois huffed. "You're my best friend. Obviously, Diana, and this so not the time for mush and braiding friendship bracelets," she said. "I am not comfortable telling your team to go risk their lives. We all could be wrong. We've seen Lex lie again and again and again."
"But you don't think he's lying this time," Shayera said. "And you're Lois Lane. Lex has never fooled you before, has he?" she said with a sneaky wink to Diana.
"I see what you're doing, Hawkgirl," Lois said. "I'm not an idiot."
"I'm not Hawkgirl anymore," Shayera said fiercely. "I'm the Gotham Gargoyle, now."
"You are?" Diana said as Lois said, "Oh, great. Thanks for that. Another scoop I can't publish because Bruce will kill me if I do. You're really making your case here, Gee-Gee."
"Couldn't you come up and tell the Justice League exactly what you've told us, though?" Diana pleaded with her. "That you believe him but you're not going to tell them to risk their lives?"
"That would be exactly the same as me telling them to risk their lives and you know it," Lois said. "I lend credibility to that fucking snake."
"Lois!" Diana said sharply.
"Sorry," Lois muttered. "Old habits. But seriously, Diana, no. No, no, no, no, no."
"There will be serious consequences for both the Justice League and Lex and Diana if we don't have enough members to mount a strong offensive on Sunday," Shayera said. "Don't you feel a responsibility to save lives?"
"I'm not Clark," Lois groused, but Diana thought she heard a note of inner conflict in her friend's voice.
A lightbulb went off in her head and without examining the thought too closely, Diana said, "You could do an exclusive on the Watchtower." Shayera stared at her with wide eyes before silently starting to shake with laughter. Stunned silence was all they heard from Lois's end of the phone.
"No reporters have ever been up here before," Diana said slyly, grinning at the still shaking Shayera. "I think the people on Earth would appreciate knowing more about the object floating in the sky above them."
"Diana…" Lois said slowly, with serious warning in her tone.
"Certain areas would be off limits, of course, for security reasons," Diana said, picking up steam, "but there's so much that you could see and report on, Lois. A true scoop. How many reporters have even been to outer space, ever?" Diana said thoughtfully. "Any?"
"He's rubbing off on you," Lois hissed with venom.
"Does that mean you'll come?" Diana giggled.
"Yes, dammit, I'll come," Lois grumbled. "Tell Clark to beam down so he can fly me out to the cornfields. There's not enough time to take the javelin if your meeting is in twenty-five minutes."
"You were really paying attention," Shayera said in surprise.
"I'm Lois Lane," Lois snapped. "I'm always paying attention. I will get you for this, Diana," she muttered. "If anything goes wrong, it is on your head."
"It already was," Diana said honestly. Lois sighed.
"I suppose that's true," she said. "You and your taste in men. First Batman and now Lex. Why you couldn't pick someone sweet like Clark, I do not know."
"He was taken," Diana said impishly.
"Damn right he's taken," Lois said, shuffling papers around as she packed up to prepare to leave Metropolis. "But the Flash is nice. He's single."
"Wally?" Diana said in horror as Shayera fell over laughing.
"Please tell Wally you said that," the Thanagarian said in between laughs. "Well, I'll probably beat you to it. But you can confirm it."
"I would write a dissertation on it if it would convince Diana to date him," Lois said. "But alas, she prefers her men bitter and evil."
"Formerly evil," Diana corrected. "And I'm not into bitter guys anymore. That's Shayera's thing, now."
"Hey!" Shayera protested. "Bruce is not bitter. He's bitchy. There's a difference," she said defiantly. And proudly.
"You two," Lois muttered. "I better have the most fucking fabulous personalized tour of that space station," she growled. "And you're the one who has to tell Clark about it."
"Oh," Diana said in sudden dismay. Lois cackled.
"Yeah, oh," she mocked her friend. "Blackmail's all fun and games until someone has to tell Superman."
Diana could not disagree.
