Chapter 34.

Cas never understood why so many hunters considered the archives to be dull homework. He found everything interesting, from the scribbled, passive/aggressive notes in the margins of accounts and ledgers to the random ideas for dealing with monsters. Some of the latter were bizarre in their specificity and he wondered how anyone thought of them, or thought they could work. Someone had suggested killing a dragon with bullets made of ice. He and Jules had shared a quiet chuckle over a non-hunter's ignorance of the difficulty of using ice bullets in the field.

Partway through a stack of random notes, Jules took out her phone and sent a text. His own phone came to life. He read the message, "Job 41:12." His eyes met hers. It was a clear flirtation. "I will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor his comely proportion." he said.

She smiled. Then she whispered, "Leviticus 19:34."

"'But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.' One of my favourite passages."

"Mine too." she said, "Funny how the Winchesters have done that for both of us. I don't think of them as religious."

"No. One day, Dean will assault God. I'm sure of it."

"I'm not sure Dean would lose that fight." she said.

"I need a picture of you working on the archives." he said.

She let him take the picture. Then she said, "Cas, this isn't to remember me by when everything goes wrong, is it?" she said.

"Do I absolutely have to answer that?" he said.

"You just did." she said.

"The odds are against us. It would be foolish to take you for granted. It's not just that. If Heaven take away what I feel for you, I want some way to bring it back. They won't think to wipe the pictures on my phone."

"You've given this a lot of thought."

"Yes, I have." he said.

"Too much for it to be an unlikely risk."

"They've wiped my memories before. Naomi conditioned me to kill Dean."

"Why haven't we killed her yet?" she said, coming over to him. "Stand up." she said.

He obeyed.

She straightened the collar of his coat. "You're afraid of losing what you feel for me?"

He nodded.

"But you don't know what that is."

"No, but I know it feels good. I know it makes my life feel better and more important. I know that losing it would diminish me. Losing you would diminish me."

"Why don't you just break ties with Heaven?" she said.

"I can't. I exist to serve Heaven." he said.

"But in any choice between Heaven and the Winchesters, you pick Sam and Dean."

"Yes." he said, "It's hard to explain."

She took his hands. "No, it's not. Heaven programmed you for obedience. Heaven forces your compliance. You're trapped in an abusive relationship with Heaven. You need to find a way to break free."

"I don't think that's possible." he said.

"Maybe we'll find a way." she said, "But it's not just Meg I'm willing to fight for you. If Naomi comes near you, she'll meet some angel-killing bullets."

"Naomi is needed, for now." he said.

"Well done! You're starting to think in terms of potential change. I know that's not easy for an angel."

"A lot has changed in recent years." he said, "It's easier now to consider the possibility."

"There was always something different about you, wasn't there?"

"Naomi thinks I have always been defective."

"She thinks that because to her, stagnation is perfection. You're alive, Cas. You're able to adapt." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "You're able to love." she said.

"I hope so." he said, before kissing her, holding her around the waist and breathing in the scents of jasmine and old books that mingled so appealingly around her.

"Hey!" said Sam from the doorway, "All these documents are pretty flammable, you know."

"Why didn't you knock?" said Cas.

"I didn't know you'd be kissing." said Sam, "Sorry. Next time, I'll knock."

Jules stepped back and already, Cas missed the proximity.

"Dean needs us at Sarah's place tonight." said Sam, "Just you and me, not Jack. But obviously, if you and Jules have plans, I can tell Dean that and he'll be fine with it."

"I'd never want to come between Cas and Dean." said Jules, "If he needs you, Cas, go to him."

"Thankyou." said Cas. He looked at Sam. "Is Jack okay with this?"

"He understands." said Sam, "The truth is, I don't think Dean is sure he wants us there, but I do think he needs us. He sounded pretty bad on the phone."

"You're going tonight?" said Jules.

"We'll be leaving here around 5:30." said Sam.

"Cas, I want you to find me and say goodbye, okay?"

"Of course I will." he said.

"Because you might be gone a few days."

"Would you call me, or at least text?" he said.

"Yes." she said, "And I'll get pictures of everyone. I'll send them to you."

"Why do you need pictures?" said Sam.

"Memories." said Cas.

Sam smiled. "We're not going anywhere, Cas."

"You of all people know that is a promise none of us can make." said Cas, "Now, be elsewhere. We're busy."

Sam grinned. "Yeah, you two carry on with your 'work' and I'll see you later."