Chapter Twenty-Nine
Time passes, sometimes slowly, and sometimes all at once.
Cas's OCD flared up for a few weeks, in which he kept count of how much salt Dean consumed, down to the gram, and was compelled to check all the appliances and light switches before bed again.
Dean was patient, smiling lightly while Cas planned out his low sodium meals, and rode it out, with Penny's help.
Then, they settled back into their lives. Once Dean's six weeks were up, and all the kittens had found their new homes, they had Grace spayed, and bought her her very own collar. It was blue with a bell, so she couldn't chase the birds in the garden.
Cas started volunteering at the hospital, and the constant tide of children in and out meant he rarely had to remember names, but he enjoyed his crafts lessons with them anyway. He started with one hour on a Wednesday, then gradually progressed until he was doing three sessions a week. The children were always happy to see him. He brought them colour and hope, telling them all about his illness and how much better he was doing. They always listened, enraptured, and they always had fun showing off their various scars and stories.
Cas nearly always came home covered in glitter and paint, and sometimes with little gifts for Dean from the kids.
Dean took charge of the garage, shaking things up in a way that was uniquely him. He still personally worked on Ketch's cars, but the rest were assigned evenly. Ketch made good on his word and fired Dean's manager Andy, then left well enough alone, knowing better than to get in Dean's way, as far as the shop was concerned.
They finally went on their date. Dean knocked on the front door wearing a suit, his hair combed back, and handed Cas a rose with a goofy smile on his face. They went for dinner, and danced to the music even though no one else was.
The seasons changed again, turning everything orange, then brown, then frosty grey and white.
Cas made Dean wear a hat to work when it was cold, and Cas let his hair grow messily again, seeing how much Dean liked it.
They celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas at Sam's, so they could watch Mary squeal at her presents.
Cas wobbled slightly on Christmas morning, when he woke up in an unfamiliar bed, and didn't recognise Sam when he went out into the corridor, but Dean sat at his side, calming him through his panic. The rest of the day went off without a hitch, and Cas made Dean wear his Christmas hat all day.
They celebrated Dean making it to another birthday, both with Sam and Jess, and privately in their own bedroom.
Mary's very first birthday came around, and they threw a small party, with a tiny cupcake and a singular candle. Dean started taking pictures again, and made sure to capture Mary blowing it out while Sam held her thick, blonde curls out of her face.
Cas framed the photo he'd taken of Dean's silhouette in Hawaii, and Dean framed one of Cas, asleep on the couch with Hoagie in his arms.
Dean asked Cas to paint him like one of his French girls, and Cas was more than happy to oblige. They hid that painting where no one else would find it.
Daffodils came with the spring, and Cas at last found his routine with the bees. Jody still helped him out every now and again, but his confidence returned. The shed with his equipment became lively again, and more jars of honey appeared. He even started a brand new hive, when one of his existing ones split. He and Dean were in the garden when the swarm appeared. Dean practically sprinted back into the house, and beckoned for Cas to join him.
Instead, Cas calmly went for a bucket, and coaxed the swarm inside, where they waited for him to set up the spare box he had in the shed. He gave Dean a thumbs up from the bottom of the garden, and Dean stared at him through the window in disbelief.
They had regular tests done. Cas for his brain, and Dean for his heart, and they scheduled their checkups for the same day, so the Dean could drive them.
Cas went first, and they sat down in his neurologist's office, watching him set out the pictures of Cas's brain.
He stared down at the pictures, and finally informed them that there was no change since the last set. Dean deflated at the news, but Cas was delighted.
'Dean, this is good news!' he said, shaking Dean's arm.
'How? He said there's no change, you didn't get any better.'
'No, but I didn't get any worse.' Cas pointed at the scan. 'That's the damage there, you can't heal that, but there's no further degeneration. It's good, Dean.'
Dean glanced at the doctor, who nodded. 'I guess, as long as you feel okay.'
'I do. I feel really good.'
Dean smiled and put an arm around him. 'Then that's all I need to know.'
Cas gave him a quick peck. 'Now it's your turn.'
They wandered over to cardiology, where Dean's doctor was from waiting with images of Dean's heart.
Dean nervously hovered outside.
'Whatever it is, we can handle it,' Cas said, gently pushing Dean towards the door.
Dean squared his shoulders, and pushed the door open.
Dean's doctor beamed when he saw them.
'I take it that means good news,' said Dean, though Cas could still hear the nerves in his voice.
'Great news,' the doctor said, as they all sat down. 'You've done a really great job taking care of yourself, Dean. I'm very happy with your progress.'
'Really?'
'Absolutely! I can see a lot of the damage has been reversed.'
Dean's shoulders relaxed, and he gave a relieved smile. 'Wow, thanks, doc.'
'Don't thank me, it's you that put in the work. Keep it up.'
They stopped for milkshakes that day, and walked around in companionable silence, while Dean glowed proudly at the news, every so often running a hand over the wires in his chest.
Summer came in a blazing heatwave. It made Dean uneasy, working in such heat, so he stepped back from the engine work, electing instead to take on a couple of apprentices and show them the ropes. He enjoyed teaching more than he thought he would.
Cas noticed that his paintings were beginning to pile up, with canvases in almost every corner. He spent days trying to figure out what to do with them, until he remembered Dean's suggestion to sell them.
Sam and Jess helped him set up and run a website, where they showed pictures of Cas's work for sale.
There wasn't much traffic at first, but to Cas's surprise, people began to show interest. He sold his first painting, one of his simpler ones of a spray of violets. It went for fifteen dollars, and Dean took a picture of him lovingly packing it up for shipping.
The website grew, and soon, Cas was taking commissions, though he had Sam set up a program to remind him of them, and Tessa wrote them on a new whiteboard they kept in the dining room.
The orders trickled in, until Cas's work caught the attention of a small gallery in the city.
'And they want me to choose some paintings for display!' Cas said to Dean, excitedly reading the email they sent him.
Dean just smiled proudly.
'Of all the things I imagined myself being, an artist was never one of them,' Cas said thoughtfully.
'Maybe you just needed a bump on the head to bring out your natural talent,' Dean laughed, sipping on a glass of lemonade. 'All right, I gotta go make sure Alfie and Ben ain't tearing up the joint. See you later.' He kissed Cas, and left for work.
Cas spent that morning sorting through his paintings, trying to decide which ones he would send to the gallery, when he came across a stack of them in the bottom of the chest in the dining room. They were older, and when he turned them over, he saw that they were the ones he'd painted of the beach. Some had Dean standing on the sand dune, and others had dry shoots of grass swaying in the breeze. He sorted through them, staring at them individually, then spread them out around him. He'd forgotten all about the trip he was going to take to the beach, to see if he could remember why he was painting it. He carefully stacked them up, and put them back into the chest, deciding that he was going to go, that very minute. He left a note for Tessa, telling her where he was going, and got Hoagie ready.
Cas's bike was waiting for him in the garage, still tuned and oiled since Dean had decided to take care of it for him, and Cas placed Hoagie into the basket. Then Cas attached his phone to the cradle that Dean had made for him, so he could see his map, and he and Hoagie set off together.
The sky was clear, blue, and had wispy white clouds drifting across it. Cas followed his map along quiet, winding roads. The hedges kept them company, rustling merrily in the gentle, warm breeze. Cas smelled the salt in the air, and heard the crash of the waves. Seagulls called to each other overhead, watching to see if he had any food for them.
He came out of the lane into the small town, and cycled over to a bicycle rack near the beachfront, chaining it up safely. Hoagie wagged his tail when Cas lowered him onto the ground, and they stepped onto the sand.
The water sparkled in the sunlight, and though it was a hot day, it was a lot less populated than Cas was expecting. There were some families out, enjoying the sun, and as Cas walked, several joggers passed him with their phones strapped to their arms, and their headphone cables bouncing around. He knew he had a way to go before he reached the dune, and he wasn't sure he was going the right way, until Hoagie tugged on the leash, seemingly recognising the area.
Walking in the sand wasn't all that comfortable in the shoes he was wearing, so Cas took them and his socks off, tying them together by the laces and hanging them from his shoulder. He wiggled his toes, and sighed happily as the hot sand worked its way between them. With his goal in mind, Cas continued walking, allowing himself to wander down the water's edge. He wanted to feel the cool water wash over his feet, and left footprints behind him, alongside Hoagie's tiny pawprints. He wished he'd brought a bag with him, spotting lots of pretty seashells that he would have loved to paint. He added a reminder on his phone to come back another day, and carried on walking.
He avoided a family throwing around a huge inflatable ball, and gingerly stepped over a deep hole someone had dug in the sand.
Hoagie whined, staring longingly at the ocean, but he stayed dutifully by Cas's side.
'I'll bring you back with Dean, so you won't have to wear the jacket, okay?' he said softly, kneeling down to kiss Hoagie on his tiny head, his fur hot from the sun. 'You're a good boy.'
Cas moved away from the water, so Hoagie would be less distracted, and kept walking.
The voices from young children screaming in delight, and their parents calling them back from the water faded as Cas got further and further away from town. Soon enough, the only sounds were the waves, the seagulls, and cars that drove past on the road nearby. Cas and Hoagie were alone, but for a woman jogging some way behind them.
At last, Cas found himself at the sand dune he'd been painting. He smiled, pleased that he'd found it by himself.
The dry grass that Cas had been painting was there, ringing the base of the dune, and peppering the slopes of it. He stopped to look at it, waiting to see if he would remember why it was important.
The woman jogging behind them came close, and Cas stepped back slightly. Then Hoagie barked and pawed his ankle.
Cas tutted. 'I'm going to get sand in my hair,' he muttered to Hoagie. 'Still, I've seized in worse places.' He lay himself down, ready for it to take him.
He woke up with the woman who had been jogging shaking his arm.
'Are you okay?' she asked, voice filled with concern.
Cas groaned.
'I called the number on your bracelet. The guy said he'd be here in a minute,' she said. 'I've got some water, here.' She helped him drink some from her bottle.
'Thanks.'
'I'll wait with you.'
Cas rolled uncomfortably onto his side. He was covered in sand and wavering in and out of consciousness. Hoagie sat at his head, licking him every so often, to reassure Cas that he was still there.
Dean arrived, carrying a blanket and a cooler, and thanked the woman before she continued on her jog.
Cas sleepily watched Dean spread the blanket on the sand.
'Can you stand up?' Dean asked.
'If you help me.'
Dean lifted him to his feet and helped him brush away most of the sand, then lowered him down onto the blanket. 'Drink?' He opened the cooler, and showed Cas the bottles of lemonade he had.
Cas shook his head, eyelids drooping. He shifted over so he could rest his head on Dean's lap, and fell asleep again.
The sun had dropped when Cas woke up again.
'Don't stare directly at the sun, dumbass,' Dean said, covering Cas's eyes.
Cas laughed and grabbed Dean's hand to kiss it, but stopped as his ring caught the sunlight. Cas stared at it, holding it close to his face. He sat up and turned Dean's hand over, examining it as something stirred inside him.
'What?' said Dean.
'Wait…' He squinted at it, then looked up at the sand dune. 'Is this - is this…?' He stood up unsteadily, and walked over to the dune.
'Cas, wait,' Dean called, scrambling to his feet and following.
Cas's legs betrayed him, and he fell to his knees at the top of the dune, but it didn't stop him from gazing around in wonder. 'Dean,' he whispered reverently.
Dean slid down beside him and held him up. 'You gotta rest.'
Cas shook his head and grabbed Dean's hand again to look at his ring. Tears sprang to his eyes as he remembered. 'I understand now.'
'Understand what?'
'This is where you asked me to marry you.'
Dean froze and his face went slack.
Cas twisted around to cup Dean's face in his hands. 'You were so nervous,' he said. 'You were so worried that I would say no.' He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Dean's. 'You needn't have been. I would never have said no.'
Dean bit his lip to contain himself, holding Cas's shoulders.
'It was right here,' Cas continued. 'In the evening, when the sun was setting. You brought me here because I was tired from work, and you knew I loved it in this spot.'
Dean nodded, squeezing his eyes shut, in a futile attempt to stem his tears.
'You brought a picnic that you made yourself,' said Cas. He remembered everything in it, right down to the jar of Cas's own honey Dean had brought. 'I was sitting there, and you were kneeling here, and you took the box out of your pocket.' His voice was so low that it was barely audible.
Dean had given up and was now openly crying.
'You could barely get the words out,' Cas whispered with a slight chuckle. 'And you were shaking.'
Dean wiped his face.
'It was the easiest decision of my life. I said yes.'
Cas kissed Dean's head, and Dean let out a sob.
'You - you really remember?' His voice wobbled.
'I do. I remember. You're all I wanted. I remember how happy I was when you opened the box.' Cas stopped talking and pressed his lips to Dean's, ignoring the wet tears that swiped over his cheeks. 'I love you,' he murmured, kissing Dean. 'I've always loved you.'
Dean kissed him back, still clutching Cas's shoulders, and his lips still trembling.
'Dean,' Cas said, leaning back. 'Where is my ring?'
Dean sat in the sand, taking a deep breath.
'I'd very much like to wear it again.'
Dean nodded, still crying. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a thin leather necklace. It had a small, gold amulet on it, a silver charm that matched his tattoo, and a ring. He pulled the ring off the cord with shaking fingers, and Cas held out his hand.
Dean slowly slid the ring on Cas's finger, and miraculously it still fit.
Cas smiled widely, as though the last piece had dropped into place. 'Marry me, Dean,' he said.
'We're already married, man,' Dean said with a watery laugh.
'Let's do it again,' Cas said eagerly.
'What, like, renew our vows?'
'Yes! Please?' He held Dean's hands, winding them together so that he could admire both of their rings. 'I'd marry you over and over again. I want to be with you forever, and I want everyone to know it. Marry me.'
Dean kissed him again, still holding Cas tightly, as though afraid it would all be a dream if he let go.
'Say yes, Dean,' Cas whispered. 'Marry me.'
Dean nodded. 'Okay.'
'Yes?'
Dean wiped his eyes again, grinning at Cas. 'Yeah. I'll marry you. I'll marry you any day, you see if I won't.'
Cas threw his arms around Dean's neck, nearly knocking him over. 'I don't remember the first one, but I want to have that experience with you,' he said into Dean's shoulder.
'Hey, maybe you'll remember it someday. You just gotta stay positive.'
'Maybe I will, but I want to do it again anyway. I think it would be good for us, and I think it would be good for our family to see how far we've come.'
Dean snorted softly. 'You're so smart,' he said. 'How did I get so lucky?'
'I wouldn't call it luck,' Cas laughed. 'I'd call it a series of unfortunate events.'
'That's rude,' Dean said light-heartedly, lying back in the sand.
Cas rolled his eyes. 'I didn't mean you're unfortunate. I meant that - that I've put you through a lot… and you're still here…' Cas lay down beside him. 'Sometimes I can hardly believe what you put up with.'
Dean turned over, and pulled Cas's chin around, to look him in the eyes. 'Stop that. I love every moment I get to spend with you. I choose you, okay? I choose you.'
'And I you,' Cas breathed, closing his eyes briefly, brushing Dean's lips with his.
They went back down to their blanket and drinks, and watched the sunset together. Quiet, content, and ready for whatever came next.
Welcome back everyone! Thanks to VegasGranny for the review!
So, here we are at the end. I'm so grateful for every single person that reviewed, followed and favourited. I didn't originally plan on this story going on for so long, but I'm so glad it did, and I'm so glad you all stuck with me on the journey. I'll be doing a little epilogue at some point, but for now, this is it.
I want to address something pointed out to me. I'm from the UK and I have no idea how medical debt or student debt works in the states. Here in the UK, it's not a thing, and a lot of medical training is paid for or subsidised by the government too. Frankly, it upsets me to research that stuff, so we're just going to assume that Cas and Dean's finances are totally fine. I know we were going for some realism here, but I'm not going to address it. I hope everyone's ok with that.
I want to go on a writing break, I think. I have so many books to read. But don't hold me to it, I start to get restless if I don't write for too long. I might go back to Heart Sense or I might do something else I have in mind, we'll see. Keep an eye out, and follow me on Twitter for updates!
Thanks again, and hopefully I'll see you all again next time!
