27 - Ianto
I wake to the sound of the phone and I reach over to snag it before it wakes Jack only to find him moving to let me out. I kiss him before I answer "Hello?"
"Ianto?"
Oh great. "Lisa? Do you know what time it is?"
I check one of my many clocks… yeah … 2.30am. Really?
"Ianto"
She's crying and I know why. Something deep down tells me and I stifle the sigh "Lisa. Are you in labour?
"yes"
"Where is he?"
"Wherever he prefers to be, oh Ianto. He left me, as soon as he found that you lad left me… he didn't want me either. It's all such a mess and I can't get hold of mama on the phone" she is crying freely now and I know I am stuffed. I might not be in love with her anymore but seriously … we were together for a while and no one deserves to be alone at such a scary time.
"Is it Lisa?"
I turn to find Jack there holding my robe out for me and I scuttle into it gratefully, frozen already as I take a soft kiss, nodding.
"Go. Go on, I have the kids sorted" he whispered, kissing me again "Take the loaner from the garage."
The Loaner Car. Rattly old 1990 something Toyota that smells like something died in the back seat. I nod, knowing the kids are sorted, their weekend snacks all in the cupboard and I lean in for more kisses as I sigh then race to get dressed.
I search for the right entrance, not all lit up this time of night…morning. Finally I am in there and I can see her name on the board, hurrying in as she cried and reached for me, in total meltdown now. I did wonder how she would go with childbirth.
"Oh Ianto, get it out!" She wails.
I take her hand and start the process I did with my sister each time, the soft talking, the breathing, the positive affirmations … all that shit. Her mother is still coming, the Taxi's slow or something so when they call out that the baby is crowning I cannot leave, instead choosing not to look at it comes mewling into the world.
It is not until it is shoved into my arms that I realise the mistake being made. They think it's mine and I look down into the little mocha face and feel …. Oh no. Oh. He's sooo cute. Awwwwwwww.
"Name?"
I look up, stunned for a moment then say "Ah…. Lisa?"
"Jessie."
"Jessie? God sees?" I ask, taken with the name "Jessie Hallott. Nice, a middle one?"
"Ianto" she says softly and I turn to tell her she is being silly but her face is serene as she looks up at me "He might not be your son, but you are a good man like I hope he will be one day."
Then her mother is there, crashing into the room full of noise and excitement, seizing the child from me to prance about crowing at. It's my cue to leave and without thinking I lean over her, kissing her goodbye before slipping out, then curse softly as I realise what happened.
I drive home in a strange mood and find Jack waiting for me, the kids already outside playing.
"Well?"
"Definitely a boy" I sigh, then sit ant tell him everything, including the kiss. I apologise, maybe get teary as I try to explain it was nothing, I didn't mean it and it was a slip like a term of endearment to someone you've known a long time.
He understands and I feel such a weight lifted as he laughs and tells me he still kisses Lucia goodbye sometimes, then feels stupid in the car driving away. Thank god!
"So … did she say the name?"
"Jessie."
"What's that mean?" he asks, like he knows I will have the answer and it feels nice to be looked at like that, to not be scoffed at, for him to genuinely trust in my brain.
"God sees"
"Whoa… strange choice … he sees… he judges too right? I mean … a baby born of an indiscretion … maybe an apt name" he grimaces and I find myself laughing as I tell him how I forgot which car I had driven there and walked around for ages looking at cars before remembering which one was the loaner.
"Well … I think we need to go car shopping." He reaches out to pat my knee gently "You need a good car with these two. When we have all three of them another SUV would be good."
I nod and lean in for a kiss.
Time to let go of what happened the delivery room.
I will likely never see the little fella again anyway.
