EPILOGUE

"It doesn't matter how many times we do this, Poe," Ben shouted over the whine of Tiny's engines, "we are not going to break eleven!"

"You got this!" Poe called back from the navigator's position. "We're going to get just a little closer to the mines this time. That'll do it. I promise!"

The brown and orange surface of Kessel spun dangerously close beneath them. "You're insane!" Ben yelled back at him. "We can't get any closer than 1,000 klicks of that mine without triggering their perimeter!"

"It'll be fine," Poe assured him. "You've lost them before. Just get closer to the Maw. They'll back off."

"Closer to the Maw?" Ben could not believe his ears. "Have you lost your mind? We almost lost life support last time!"

"But we didn't! Come on, buddy, I've got a bet with Finn. We can do this!" Poe assured him. Then the proximity alarm began to beep. "Looks like we've got company off our starboard side."

Ben checked the display. "Damn it, Poe! Those are TIE Baron interceptors! Where the hell did they get interceptors?"

"Just outrun them." Poe sounded entirely too calm about this development.

"We can't outrun them! Did you not hear me just say they were Baron interceptors?" Ben turned sharply away from their flight path and headed straight out of atmosphere.

"What are you doing?" Poe yelled. "We can take them!"

"With what?" Ben cried back at him. "Our wit and good looks? Poe, we do not have any guns! They do!"

They hit the first layer of the maelstrom that surrounded Kessel traveling entirely too fast. Ben wrestled against the particle storm that threatened to tear the ship apart, using every bit of his ability with the Force to just keep the wings on. Green bolts of plasma ripped past them as the interceptors continued to pursue.

"Woohoo!" Poe shouted from the rear, but his cry of excitement only pissed Ben off. He dove into a particularly turbulent cloud, heading deeper into it than he wanted. The ship shivered convulsively around them, but the maneuver worked and the patrol broke pursuit, evidently deciding that their lives were worth more than chasing down a couple of idiots joy-riding the Kessel Run.

The ship finally broke through into the primary clearing that lay between the spirals around Kessel. Angrily Ben invoked his top security credentials to override Poe's navigational controls and set the safest, slowest, most boring course back to Ajan Kloss that he could devise.

He mentally blocked out Poe's protests and focused on making sure the ship still held integrity.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked.

He pulled the bond close to him and let himself soak in her presence as he answered, "I am going to kill Poe. But other than that, we're fine. We're headed in."

"Good. I miss you."

"I've been gone eight hours," he replied, then added sincerely, "I miss you too. We'll be home soon. Don't wait up though. It will be late."

Rey laughed. "As if we get any sleep anymore! Take your time. You need this."

The connection faded back to a constant thread of belonging that ran through his spirit. He took a few deep meditative breaths and tuned back in to Poe's complaints.

"Come on! Let's at least ride the Corkscrew on our way out," he moaned.

Ben unbuckled his restraints and turned around to kneel backwards in the seat, the top of his head uncomfortably pressed against the hatch so he could look his co-pilot in the eyes. "What in the name of creation is WRONG with you? We both just nearly died and you want to go again?!"

The little ship was completely silent as Poe just stared at him.

"Zorii's pregnant," his friend said at last.

Ben sat back. "Whoa," he breathed. "Okay." They sat in silence together for a long moment before Ben asked, "You want to talk?"

"No!" Poe cried in frustration. "I want to jump in an X-wing and blow stuff up!"

"We don't have any guns," Ben reminded him with a shake of his head. He wondered where to start, finally deciding that the beginning was as good a place as any. "So tell me again how long you and Zorii have been together."

"Honestly, we've been sleeping together occasionally for nearly twenty years. We've tried to have an actual relationship off and on for a total of maybe five years of that," Poe answered. "She says I'm like a bad habit she can't quit."

"What about you? Have you been able to quit either?" Ben asked.

Poe watched the nebula pass by the window. "No," he finally admitted. "And the past couple of years has been better than I thought it could be. I mean she moved here—to Ajan Kloss. Something's different about her. Like her edges are softer. It's been nice."

"So what's the problem?" Ben asked gently. "It's not like you don't have experience with kids. They all love their Uncle Poe."

Poe laughed despite himself. "I don't know. The rest of you make it look so easy-especially you and Rey."

"Having kids? You should see us between midnight and dawn every evening," Ben groaned and turned around again in his seat to get more comfortable for the long flight.

"No. Having a relationship." Poe settled back as well.

Ben couldn't help but laugh at that. "It's not like Rey had a choice. The Force stuck her with me from the time she was born. And she spent the first two years of our relationship trying to kill me."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Poe responded. "But you are still so good together. I've seen you fight over stuff. But you get over it and stick together even when you're mad at each other."

"I better get over it. You've seen Rey angry. I don't want to be on the receiving end of that," Ben replied firmly.

Poe snickered at him. "Yes, you do. I've seen you push her just for fun. You know you like it."

Ben grinned sheepishly. "Okay, you got me. She's an awful lot of fun to make up with." He checked their coordinates out of habit. "So how is that different from you and Zorii? Do you feel like she doesn't have your back?"

Poe sighed. "I do. That's what is so weird about now. For the first time since I've known her, I really feel like she does. I don't know. It's like she decided something or crossed a line. Since she came back here, I've felt like she really meant to stay this time."

"And you don't feel this way?" If he twisted around a little, he could see Poe's reflection in the glass just behind him. His friend looked troubled indeed.

"I want to. But you know me." Poe rubbed at his face. "It was honestly easier when I knew she'd move on after a while, maybe after we had a fight or after one of us got too clingy. Now we're having a baby." He paused and took a deep breath. "Ben, we are having a baby. I can't do this."

Ben could feel the anxiety and fear rolling off of Poe. He'd felt very much the same way once. "When Rey found out she was pregnant with Kesden, I panicked. What right did I have to even think about raising a child after the way I screwed up my own life? And why in creation should I be rewarded with something so wonderful when I absolutely did not deserve it?"

He shook his head at the memory. "But I got over it. It wasn't easy and I sometimes still feel like there's no way I should have this life, but I do my best and I'm grateful every single minute for it."

Poe still looked forlorn.

"So what's your hang-up?" Ben asked after a few minutes of silence.

Poe caught his eyes in the reflection. "I'm afraid I won't stick around."

"Like you'll die?" Ben asked. "If that's true, why were you just trying to kill both of us?"

Poe hmphed, then frowned. "What if I don't have it in me to stick around? What if I just can't sit still long enough? You know how I am. I'm always moving on to the next thing. What if I do that to my kid?"

Ben suddenly recalled the first time he met Poe. It was unfortunately during interrogation, but he still remembered his initial contact with the pilot's mind.

Bravado up front. Anxiety, understandable anxiety, right behind it. Then deep cores of courage and resolve. But underneath it all, the thing he dug at, the weakness he preyed on to get him to break, was an irrational certainty that it wouldn't last. Whatever he did, whatever he loved, whatever he tried to accomplish, in the end it wouldn't last because nothing ever did.

When Kylo Ren leaned heavily and painfully onto that particular fear, the pilot had weakened rapidly, finally unable to conceal the location of the plans.

"Remind me," Ben began, "how old were you when your parents came back home after the Rebellion?"

"About six."

"How old were you when your mom died?" Ben asked.

"Eight."

"When your dad died?"

"Nineteen." Poe sighed. "I see where you're going with this. So you're saying I'm afraid I'll die and leave him behind like I got left behind. But I'm not. Not really. I'm not afraid I'll die. I'm afraid I'll just leave."

"Because you always do," Ben suggested.

"Yeah. I always cut and run. I ran out on Zorii a bunch of times over the years. I've loved and left so many women in the Resistance—I mean, I've got an ex on most of the planets in the known galaxy. I always cut and run," Poe complained.

"And you've never stuck with anybody or anything long enough for them to leave you?" Ben asked. "You leave first, right?"

"Zorii left me a couple of times over the years," Poe admitted. "It hurt. Really bad."

"But now you feel like she's going to stay?"

"Yeah."

"But even with a kid in the picture, you think you'll leave?"

"I don't want to. I want to stay with Zorii. I've loved her ever since I first laid eyes on her—even with her helmet on," Poe admitted. "And now there's a kid. I'm terrified of being responsible for something that little and helpless. It's going to need me and I'm afraid I'll just let it down." He sounded truly despondent.

"You won't," Ben assured him.

"How do you know I won't?" Poe asked sharply.

"Because you never left the Resistance. If you ever should have cut and run, it was after Jakku. You'd made a mess of everything. You'd just given up all the information we needed to find BB-8 and Luke's location. You'd just crashed your TIE and killed your rescuer. So why didn't you run then?" Ben knew he was being harsh, but his friend needed a dose of reality.

"You asshole! I can't believe this is what you're bringing up right now!" Poe actually slapped him in the back of the head. "I gave him up because you fucking tortured me! And I didn't kill Finn!"

"I know, damn it! I know!" Ben leaned forward out of reach. "But you thought you did! You thought it was all over and that you'd failed in your mission completely. But you found a way off Jakku and went back anyway. You went back and you told Mom everything. Why? It would have been easier to just run away from all of it," Ben continued to press him, hoping that somehow Poe would make a breakthrough.

"Because! Because it was the Resistance! It was something more important than me and what I wanted for once!" Poe declared.

"And how much more important than you are Zorii and the baby?" Ben felt so close.

"They mean everything! All I want is to take care of her and that baby!" Poe yelled back at him. Then he sat back and breathed heavily for several seconds. "Shit. I'm going to be a father. Oh man. Cover your ears while I'm on comms, okay?"

Ben nodded and covered his ears, but he still heard every word of Poe's call to Zorii on Ajan Kloss. "Hey, babe, we're on our way back … No, we bailed on it … Too much heat … Yeah, we'll be home soon… You feeling okay?... Good. Call Rey or Rose if you need anything until I get there, okay?... I love you … I will."

They flew in silence for several minutes. "Thanks," Poe said at last.

"No problem." Ben checked their location. "We could shave off a couple of hours if we took the Corkscrew. You still game?"

Poe thought for a minute. "Yeah, but be careful. We've got families to think of."

-0-

It was well past midnight on Ajan Kloss when they finally landed. "Tiny, I will miss you," Poe said as he ran his hand down her wing.

"What are you talking about? We're not going to quit flying," Ben informed him in no uncertain terms. "We're just not going to be stupid about it."

They parted ways at the turnoff to the little house Poe shared with Zorii. A light rain began to fall as Ben walked the rest of the way home on his own. Ajan Kloss was never cold, but the rainy season could get cool and by the time he hit the door, he was fairly damp and chilled. He shrugged out of his jacket and slung it over a chair in the little dining area, then made his way down the hall. A low light shone through a crack in the doorway of his daughter's room. He pushed it open quietly.

Rey sat with her eyes closed in the small chair next to the crib, Mara sound asleep in her arms. Ben gently eased the baby away from her, sending Rey quiet assurances as her eyes flickered open. "I've got her," he said. "Go on to bed."

Rey yawned and whispered, "Thank you," as Ben carefully moved the baby to the mattress, one hand resting on her little blonde head until she settled again into slumber.

"Good night, sweetheart," he whispered to her, listening to her quiet baby noises for a few minutes before leaving the room.

As he passed Kesden's room, he heard the little boy whimper. He paused and peered through the doorway. Kes lay on his side, his arms wrapped around his stuffed tauntaun, his little dark head contrasting with the white of his pillowcase. Then he cried out softly in fear and began to wrestle with the blankets.

A sudden flash of his own frequent nightmares lanced through Ben and he froze at the doorway. He knew that it was over. He knew the evil that had haunted and possessed him from before he was born was long gone, defeated by his powerful Jedi wife. But he also knew that he would hunt down and violently murder anyone or anything who thought they'd lay a hand on his children.

So he entered his son's room and sat on the edge of the bed, one hand hovering over the sleeping boy. He gently eased into his mind, something he'd sworn he would never do again, especially without permission. But fear drove him and he peered deeply into his son's thoughts. No dark evil lurked inside, only the simple bad dream of a child.

He felt Kesden stir awake and withdrew rapidly, feeling a little guilty and a great deal relieved.

"Daddy?" he whispered. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, kid. It's me. You okay?" Ben asked him quietly.

"I had a bad dream." Kesden's big brown eyes filled with tears and his lip began to tremble.

"Everything's okay, buddy," Ben said, reaching out to his son. Kes crawled into his lap and snuggled against his chest. "You want me to tell you a story until you go back to sleep?"

"Mama sings to me," Kes replied. "Will you sing to me?"

"Yeah," Ben agreed and began. "Little baby, rest your head …"

In only a few minutes, Kesden had settled again, his eyes drifting shut. Ben tucked him back into bed, the little boy's arms wrapping again around the stuffed animal. "Good night," he whispered as he left the room.

Ben yawned and pulled off clothing as quietly as possible as he entered their bedroom. Rey lay curled up beneath the covers, but her eyes opened when he lay down beside her. She moved close to him, wrapping her arm over his chest. "So you and Poe didn't do the run?" she asked.

"No. Did you know Zorii was pregnant?" he asked.

"She told us this afternoon after you guys had left," Rey answered. "Was he freaking out about it?"

"A little," Ben admitted. "But he got better. I think he's just scared he won't be up for it."

"Then he should join the club. I think all of us have been terrified-except Finn. He was too clueless to be scared," Rey commented lightly. "That will make five between us. Can you believe it?"

"No. It still feels like a really great dream. Sometimes I'm afraid that any second I'm going to wake up in my bunk on Finalizer completely alone," Ben said softly. He rolled up on his elbow to look down at her, so beautiful, her entire being so full of love. She reached up and pushed his hair from his eyes. He caught her hand and pressed the palm to his lips. "Then I look at you and I remember that I was never alone."

Outside the window, the rain ceased. The clouds began to clear, revealing the deep black of space. He held her close, his dark to her light, his light to her dark, and loved her with everything he had, everything he was, and everything he ever would be as the stars wheeled up above.

NOTES:

Sigh! Well, that's all folks! I sure hope you've enjoyed the ride because I've really enjoyed writing it! And I do hope everything paid off for you as desired. Feel free to drop a note to let me know you read. I love you all and thank you so much for all the support along the way!