Trixifer fans, this chapter is a little short, but this one's for us. ;) A five hour drive and a chance for Trixie and Lucifer to spend some time together.
Wrap Me in Your Wings – Chapter 14
Trixie was quiet as they began their drive. After saying another round of 'thank you's' and 'goodbyes' to Candy and Eve, she and Lucifer climbed into the Audi R8 and headed toward the California border. She looked out the window at the view as they left the city and sighed.
Lucifer's mind had started spinning once he was alone with the child. Never once had he imagined himself in charge of a small human, let alone actually caring for one.
On top of that responsibility, he began to think about what might happen when he got Beatrix back to her home. Would Chloe be awake? She didn't know they were arriving – she didn't know her daughter was with him. Would she approve of their urchin being with him? Would she welcome him back with open arms, or a slap to the face, or would she tell him to get the hell out of her home. The devil inside of him expected the latter.
And he still needed to find out if his Father was open to the deal he was trying to forge. It would mean changes to Lucifer's life, most certainly, but was God truly that forgiving? Would he give his outcast son another chance? Would HE accept a deal with the devil?
Lucifer quirked his head to the side at that thought. There would be no repayment if his Father accepted the deal he had suggested. He was surprised the Almighty had even listened to this request to begin with. Lucifer had only been willing to attempt to speak to his father because of the one other time he had begged for mercy, and for Chloe's well-being.
For some reason God had spared Chloe's life at that time. Actually, truth be told, He had spared it a few times… but the incident with Malcolm was the one time Lucifer had prayed for God's intervention and gotten an answer.
He knew he would have to have a long discussion with Chloe if she would listen to him. They hadn't been apart that long, had they? She seemed to still want him to come home. In earthly time it had been just a matter of weeks – year's in the eternal damnation – but not long enough for her to forget what they had gone through, right?
"I'd like you to read the Benjamin Bunny book with me," a small voice spoke from the seat beside Lucifer, pulling him out of his thoughts of Chloe.
"What?" He asked simply, refocusing but not hearing what she had said.
"The Beatrix Potter book that you left for me?" Trixie continued. "I haven't read it yet. I told Mom I didn't want to read it until you were home and would read it with me."
"Ah," Lucifer answered a bit shortly. "I- I'm really not big into reading children's books," he tried to soften his tone but wasn't sure exactly how his answer sounded to the girl.
"I get it," Trixie responded. "But kinda like you wearing that shirt," she smiled as she pointed to the Hawaiian print that really did not look good on his body, "wouldn't you do it for me?"
She looked up as Lucifer looked over at her and simply blinked.
"Did you inherit that from your mother?" he wondered.
"Inherit what?" Trixie grinned.
"That ability to talk me into something that I really do not like doing?" He sighed and looked back out the windshield. "Do I really have to wear this bloody shirt for the next five hours?"
Trixie giggled. "I think you should. In case Mom gets upset – which I don't think she will when she sees you – but just in case, you can show her the shirt I made you wear and maybe that will make her smile at least."
Lucifer huffed slightly. These Deckerstar women were going to leave marks on his devilish image.
"There is something you and I need to discuss, Urchin." Lucifer glanced at her as he changed lanes, glanced at the GPS on his phone in the windshield and sped up when the speed limit increased.
"What's that?" Trixie wondered. She adjusted in her seat to look at him.
"You were going to lie to your parents and to Maze to make this trip. Eve and Candy weren't part of your plan. You were going to fly to Las Vegas…runaway…make this trip all on your own. Don't you realize how dangerous that is?"
Trixie looked down at her hands. She knew, but she had put that thought behind her once she found the financial means to make the trip happen.
"I know," she spoke just loud enough for Lucifer to hear her.
"You can't keep doing things like this. You know that, don't you? You worry your mother sick, your father – well I question his mentality as it is – trips like this are likely to send Sir Douche into a mental institution," Lucifer quipped.
"Hey! That's my dad you're talking about," Trixie stood up for Dan.
"You're right, you're right," Lucifer agreed. "But truly, Urchin, sneaking out and coming to Lux is one thing. You learned that the hard way on your last outing… But catching a flight, leaving the state, really, Beatrix, what were you thinking?" He truly wondered although he inwardly chastised himself for sounding like a parent.
Trixie breathed in deeply and looked directly at the side of Lucifer's face. "I was thinking I needed to find you. My mom cries herself to sleep. She's reading your journals and she talks to you and… and she's seen Diablo at Lux. She knows you can hear her or that you're trying to keep tabs on her. But all I could think was that somebody needed to find you. And if she wasn't going to do it; if Dad wasn't going to do it; Maze and Amenadiel didn't even try so I figured it had to be me. I didn't know why but it had to be me."
Lucifer glanced at her. He saw the seriousness in her expression and the tears in her eyes.
"You told my mom that you love her. Were you ever going to come back to her?" She asked him directly.
Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded slowly. "Beatrix, when I left, I didn't imagine myself ever returning. I imagined living in Hell for eternity without your mother. She's my first love, my only true love, and being away from her would truly be my hell. My first days away from her I dreamed of returning but didn't think it would be possible. To answer your question, no, I didn't think I would ever come back to her. But I thought she would move on from me and find someone else that she could love – if – IF she had actually loved me to begin with."
"How could you think that she didn't love you?" Trixie asked. She couldn't understand why he might think Chloe's love wasn't real for him.
Lucifer chuckled sadly. "That, my Dear is a story too complicated for you to understand. I'm not sure I understand truly. I know it's something your mother and I need to discuss. I do believe, now, that her love for me is real. I do. And when I realized that and when I learned that you were searching for me and had run away… I knew I had to return. I knew if I had a place on this earth, any hope of coming back at all, it would revolve around your mother. Because the only true feelings in my life, other than the hatred I've felt for my father, is the love I feel for her."
Trixie sat silently trying to let his words sink in. This grown man was pouring out his heart to her and his heartfelt feelings for her mother. Why had it taken him so long to realize what was right in front of him?
"Men," she caught herself whispering and laughing lightly to herself after a few minutes.
"What?" Lucifer asked, still trying to make sense of what he had just shared with her.
"You said you question my dad's mentality… I don't think it's just him. I think all men are nuts," Trixie stopped there and looked out the front windshield.
"I beg your pardon," Lucifer dared to argue with her.
Trixie shook her head. "My mom came up to you and kissed you on a beach. You walked her back to the car and let her go home alone. You gave her a private prom and danced with her but you didn't even kiss her. You came to our house and played Monopoly and let me paint a unicorn on your face… but none of that was enough for you to know my mom loved you… or that you loved her?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head again.
"Well in my defense…" Lucifer began, "Wait, how did you know? Did your mother tell you about the beach, or our prom dance?" He stared at the girl who quickly turned and looked out the window once more.
"You've read my journals?" Lucifer finally asked.
Trixie shrugged her shoulders. "Mom brought some of them home. I wanted to know what she was reading. Then when I went back to Lux to get a few things…"
"You went to Lux to get a few things?" Lucifer questioned again and Trixie pressed her lips together.
"Young lady, you're grounded when we get home," Lucifer's face was serious, he looked out the windshield and pressed down a bit harder on the accelerator.
Trixie wasn't sure what to think. Lucifer was going to punish her? How exactly was that going to work?
"Well," she glanced at him after a moment, "I knew I would be grounded…probably for the next year. But I didn't think it'd be by you!"
When Dan showed up at 8pm he was carrying a bag of Vietnamese take out, a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer. He smiled a little nervously as he came into the apartment easily noticing Chloe's wary look.
"Hey, any word from Trixie?" He asked very simply.
Chloe nodded as she helped empty his hands and began putting the takeout containers on the counter. "They're putting her on a flight in the morning. It's supposed to arrive at 9:05. Weather looks good between here and Vegas, so hopefully everything will be fine and the flight will be on time."
"Good," Dan nodded. "I, uh, brought a change of clothes. I figured I'd just stay here tonight. I was kinda hoping she'd fly back tonight."
Chloe agreed with him. "Me too. I don't like not having her here. I haven't been able to think about anything else except her – wondering what she's up to, is she scared, why did she do this? I mean I know why, but really, why would she think it was a good idea to go… to fly…just… thank goodness, I mean, I guess thank goodness that Maze caught her."
"At least she wasn't completely by herself," Dan added and was happy to see Chloe nod. "But you know she needs to be punished for this. Chloe, this isn't the first time she's run away and this time… this time is huge. She's gotten away with it in the past, but this time…we need to come up with a punishment for her and it's gotta be something bigger than no chocolate cake."
Chloe sighed and pushed the breath out through her lips. "I know. You're right, Dan, I know. I really don't know what kind of punishment fits this though. She was trying to help me. She was going to look for Lucifer for me. So what, I ground her for a month, two months, a year? Doing chores won't do anything, writing lines…"
"Maybe she needs to volunteer at a runaway shelter, or a home for girls?" Dan suggested. "I know she had a reason behind it and it wasn't a bad reason…she's not trying to get away from us, but she's gotta learn that there are consequences."
Chloe agreed. "That's not a bad idea. We've just gotta get through to her that running away isn't the top option for solving issues. I hope she'll learn from this that it's not going to answer all her questions…she's not going to find all the answers by running away to find them."
Dan grabbed a bottle of beer and twisted the cap off. He looked at his ex-wife, thought about their daughter and sighed. "You realize she's only 11, right? I'm not sure we'll survive her teenage years."
Chloe rolled her eyes, sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly as she made a calming motion with her hands in front of her body. "I don't even want to think about that." She turned her head toward the food on the counter. "Open the wine for me, please? Tell me you got something spicy. I need it right now."
Lucifer was feeling the effects of the drive when they pulled up in front of Chloe's apartment building. They had stopped once about two hours in to get something to drink and stretch their legs. Not fifteen minutes back in the car and Trixie was asleep.
He had looked over at the girl a few times, especially when her head nodded forward or she adjusted her body under the seatbelt and turned toward him. She seemed completely comfortable in his care. That made him think of the hugs she had given him when he first arrived at the hotel. She was genuinely happy to see him and he had appreciated her embrace.
They had shared another couple of conversations along the first part of the drive after getting through the lecture, the emotions and the grounding. Lucifer smiled to himself about that. At least this little hellion wouldn't throw a rebellion against him for her punishment – at least he hoped she wouldn't.
The two had talked again about driving lessons, how Trixie had found the Starford card in his wallet and remembered him taking her to the school. She told him she had been invited to attend the school but she nor Chloe were really excited about the opportunity. She rather liked being in the school where she had friends and the focus was on every day learning.
They had also talked about Chloe, and Dan. Lucifer got a pretty good vantage point regarding the breakup of that marriage, albeit from the standpoint of a 5 or 6 year old child. But Trixie shared with him that Chloe got upset when Dan had to work extra long hours and when he broke family dinner nights and date nights with her because his job was so important.
Chloe had promised Trixie that she would always pick Trixie over work, no questions asked. Dan had learned that lesson during the divorce proceedings and had found a way to make their family time important. But he and Chloe still thought they were better apart than when they were together.
Trixie didn't mind. They both made time for her, her parents still got along for the most part and whenever either of them did something wrong that hurt their daughter, Trixie benefitted with a whopping helping of chocolate cake.
Lucifer had listened and taken it all in. It was something he had heard bits and pieces about from the detective but it was interesting to hear the urchin's point of view. He realized her understanding of things was likely on his level, more understandable than the adult version.
They had also delved into Chloe's relationship with Pierce…or Cain. That, he learned, was a very sore subject with Trixie. She had been old enough to really see her mother's happiness and her sadness when the relationship suddenly turned south. Then in the next moment Chloe was engaged and then broken up again.
"I hate him," Trixie had told Lucifer. "Mom says I shouldn't hate anyone, but I hated him even before he killed Charlotte. He took away Mom's happiness and then he took away Dad's too. I'm glad he's gone."
Lucifer had been struck by her words. He had seen a pouty urchin before, but that short conversation was one he really didn't want to relive. Her true, hurt, angry side came out in just a few sentences. He wondered if she had shared her feelings with her parents or with Maze. If not, he was glad she had shared with him. He agreed with her whole heartedly, but those feelings coming from a child really made him think.
"Beatrix," he had followed up after a few moments, "If I ever do something like that, you have to tell me. I don't want you to hate me. I don't think I could live with myself if you did."
Trixie had looked him straight in the eyes and shook her head. "You wouldn't do anything like that Lucifer. You love my mom too much. And you love me. And I know you even care about my dad. You can call him a douche all you want to, but I know you care."
They both had chuckled at that but Trixie nodded at Lucifer and watched him until he nodded his agreement with her. And she was likely correct. It would kill him to hurt Chloe like Pierce had done. He may have come close several times, but their feelings for each other – even if left unsaid at the time – hadn't changed.
Lucifer took a deep breath and looked down at the now rumpled Hawaiian shirt. He shook his head at the thought that he had worn it for the sleeping figure in the passenger seat. Now he needed to get that same little body into the apartment.
He pulled a set of keys from his pocket knowing Chloe would've locked the door at this late hour. She wasn't expecting Beatrix home after all. He had to smile. Chloe knew he had a key to her apartment. She knew he had copies of her car keys. And never once had she told him to give them to her, or to stop using them. She trusted him with them all along.
"Beatrix," he whispered to the sleeping girl after opening her door. "You're home, Urchin. Time to go inside and go beddy-bye,"
Trixie blinked and squinted at him. "Carry me," her lower lip jutted out in a pout.
"What?" Lucifer balked. "I can't carry you, you're too big for that. Come on, get out of the car."
"You can carry my mom. You can carry me. I'm smaller than her," Trixie whined.
Lucifer sighed. "Come on then," he reached toward her and tucked one arm under her knees and the other around her back.
Trixie put an arm around his neck and smiled. "See, I knew you could do it."
Lucifer stopped for a moment and looked down at her. "Did I say you were grounded?"
Trixie giggled.
She held around his neck a little tighter as he worked to unlock the front door quietly. He would try his best not to alert the Detective. He would put Trixie to bed, go spend the night at Lux and then return before Chloe awoke so she wouldn't be completely startled by her daughter's presence.
At least that was the way it would work, in his mind.
When the devil and Chloe's daughter came into the apartment however, they found Chloe and Dan both asleep on the couch, food containers on the coffee table and the tv still on.
Lucifer had to stop and take in a breath. His Detective was more beautiful than the night he left. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen her in what felt like years. Perhaps it was because he simply had a moment to gaze at her with no interruptions. Or maybe it was because being near her made his love for her bubble up into his heart once again.
Trixie grunted quietly in his arms breaking his thoughts rudely. "Shh," he whispered toward her and then somehow got the girl into her room and dropped her onto her mattress.
Trixie giggled and Lucifer again looked at her, "Shush child." He gave her a fatherly look and Trixie just grinned.
He pulled the door to her room until it was almost closed and then told her, "Alright, under the covers and back to sleep with you. I'm going to Lux and I'll be back before you're awake in the morning."
"No!" Trixie said a little louder than she expected. "You said you would read my book with me."
"Maybe tomorrow," Lucifer held up his hands in defense and pointed to the clock on her wall. "It's after midnight. You're parents are asleep on the couch," he whispered. "You go on to sleep and we'll read the book another time."
"No," Trixie said again almost pleading. "Read it to me now," her face spoke volumes to Lucifer and his shoulders drooped.
This was the same plea that Trixie had demanded of her mother after Chloe's car accident. When Trixie's friend told her how dangerous Chloe's job was and Trixie was afraid her mother wasn't going to come home that night.
His mind flashed back to witnessing that mother-daughter moment that he had played off as 'good birth control' when instead he had actually felt the moment deep in his heart.
"Alright, Urchin. Where's the book?" he continued using a low voice, now not only to avoid waking Dan and Chloe, but also to try and soothe Trixie's nerves.
She pointed toward a shelf where Lucifer quickly recognized the box he had left for her. He took the box off the shelf and brought it to her bed. He let Trixie open it as he looked around for a chair or stool or something to sit on.
"Where shall I sit?" he asked and then received the response that he expected but didn't want.
Trixie patted the bed beside her, wanting him to sit there.
Lucifer sighed, moved the box and then sat down beside Trixie on the bed. She moved over to give him a little more space and then was absolutely thrilled when Lucifer slipped off his shoes, brought his legs up onto the bed and stretched out beside her. They both laughed that his feet nearly dipped off the end of the bed and he was sitting up.
Trixie pulled the book onto her lap and opened the cover. She ran her finger over the author's note again and looked up at Lucifer. "I haven't even read the first page of this book because I wanted you to read it with me."
He nodded at her. "It's alright Urchin. Let's read it now."
"You read a page and I'll read a page?" Trixie requested.
Lucifer relaxed a bit more and agreed. He settled in and found himself somewhat content as Trixie turned to the first actual page of the book.
ONE morning a little rabbit sat on a bank.
He pricked his ears and listened to the trit-trot, trit-trot of a pony.
A gig was coming along the road; it was driven by Mr. McGregor, and beside him sat Mrs. McGregor in her best bonnet.
AS soon as they had passed, little Benjamin Bunny slid down into the road, and set off–with a hop, skip and a jump–to call upon his relations, who lived in the wood at the back of Mr. McGregor's garden.
Trixie flipped the page but then she looked back at Lucifer. "You keep reading. I like how it sounds in your accent."
She smiled at him and Lucifer realized it wasn't a request. The little urchin was ordering him to keep reading to her. And, at the time he couldn't say no to her. So he continued.
As he came to the last page, quite amused by Benjamin Bunny, Lucifer found that Trixie had snuggled against him and gone back to sleep. He sat for a second after closing the book and looked at her.
"Well, I suppose we'll have to read this together again sometime, won't we Miss Beatrix. Perhaps next time you'll read it to me."
Lucifer found a way to pull his larger body away from hers and moved his feet to the floor. As he began slipping his shoes back on he noticed the movement at the door.
He looked up quickly and wasn't quite sure how to respond. Chloe opened the door a bit wider and looked in at him with tears streaming down her face.
Lucifer sat frozen for a moment, waiting for her to say anything to him.
"You're home," she cried softly as she finally got the words to come out. "You're really home."
I hope you enjoyed this one! If so, let me know, please. Your reviews feed my muse and I could use them now! ;)
Thanks for reading - looking forward to more! 3 adcg
