The Lord of Ragnarok

Mini Chapter 8 - It Ain't So bad, After All

The Temple of Celestia Sol - LightningSword's Quarters - LightningSword's P.O.V.

"I've been trying to reach him for days. I'm scared . . ."

I heard her voice, but I could barely process it. I simply sat on my bed, replaying that horror show in my mind over and over. Sombra's defiance. The roar of the dragon. The searing flames that overwhelmed the screen, followed by the finite blackness that only came with death.

"Please, Ser 7hund3r, I couldn't think of anyone else to go to. You know him best, you're the only one I can think of who could reach him."

"It's all right, Fluttershy. I'll think of something."

I sat on the bed staring at the stone floor, listening to my guildmate and my . . . I still wasn't sure what to call her, but Fluttershy was definitely there, and beyond worried. We'd discussed and executed the plan hours ago. I saw him walk in, fully formed and unscathed. Everything was back to the way it was (for the most part, he was acting peculiar since he came back).

None of it seemed to matter.

I heard footsteps approach, and I heard Steven's voice, "Hey, man. You holding up okay?"

I couldn't answer. I didn't really have an answer.

"Look, Fluttershy's really worried about you. You gonna keep that lady waiting?"

I said nothing. How could I? There was too much to say and not enough emotional capacity to express it all. The bucket was overflowing, and was now fit to break.

"Dude, snap out of it!" Steve shook me by the shoulder, and I grunted softly. "It's been days! Sombra's back! Chris fixed everything! Now come back to the land of the living before you make Fluttershy start crying!"

"Do you realize how many things I've killed?"

It just slipped out. I wasn't even thinking. It had enshrouded my mind like a thick fog, and I dared not venture out to penetrate it.

Until now.

"What?" I heard L0rd0f7hund3r say with a nervous chuckle. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Each mission, each quest, my life was in danger at least once. Genuine danger. And I never realized it. I've been hunting monsters, killing mercenaries, stealing treasure and pissing off powerful people all over the place, and not once did I consider that it would be my last day on this planet. I killed without realizing that they were all real beings. People, animals, just living the way they live, and I stopped them. No regard for anything but myself, and even then . . . no regard for my own life . . . ."

Another weak chuckle, this time more of a helpless scoff. Whatever Steve was doing, it wasn't helping.

"Look, man, I get it," he said, "this whole thing has got you messed up. Watching someone die like that must have been insane for you. But things are better now, and there's no need to keep making everyone nervous with all this talk. Now, how about we hit the kitchens and set up a nice meal. It'd be the first time you and Fluttershy spoke in days—"

"I'VE BEEN MURDERING AND ENDANGERING MY LIFE FOR WEEKS, AND YOU BRING UP FOOD!?"

I was up on my feet, and my sudden fury and terror pushed Steven back a step, and Fluttershy back two.

"It's all real! Don't you get it?! I've been killing people and animals that had their own feelings, their own lives! Their own families! And I killed them all! And each time it could have been me! I've been using real magic! Real fucking magic! The kind of shit you'd get burned at the stake for! And that's not even scratching the surface! If this Arok guy can turn into a dragon, how are we not all dead yet?! This kind of stuff is unnatural, and yet we're tampering with it like it means nothing! We've murdered people, stolen property, and could have gotten ourselves killed, because we keep treating it like it's some dumb game! I fucked Fluttershy, for God's sake! I thought she was just a program! I treated her like she didn't even exist! I treated the whole thing like it's still a game! But it's real! IT'S FUCKING REAL!"

"DUDE, SNAP OUT OF IT!" Steven screamed back, shaking me by the shoulders. "You're hysterical and you're not thinking straight, you need to calm down and think abo—wait." He released me and backed up. "You did what to Fluttershy?"

I felt my guts plunge at the question. My time with Fluttershy was still fresh in my mind (how could it not be?), but the question of how to break it to everyone—Steven especially—crept beneath the surface like a shark. Now, the creature was biting and pulling me under, and I was totally unprepared.

"Now, now!" Fluttershy chimed in, scrambling to stand beside me and take me by the arm. "Ser 7hund3r, please be reasonable. I know how protective you are of me, but this was just as much my choice as it was Lord Lightning's! I had gone so long without seeing him, and I'd always had feelings for him, and when we came together, it just—well, it just happened! In fact, neither of us would have seen what we saw if it hadn't been for me! After we . . . well, after it happened, he tried to reassure me by showing me some new magic, and that's when we saw Lord Sombra's murder. So if this whole mess was anypony's fault, it ought to be mine! Please, I'll understand if you're angry with me, but please don't be angry with Lord Lightning! He's been through enough already! Please, I implore you, my lord, be merciful!"

Steven didn't seem to be listening. The look on his face was unreadable for a long while. His expression could be any one of many things, but "angry" was most certainly not one of them. He seemed pensive, enlightened. Maybe even amused.

"Wow . . . you finally did it, huh? Didn't think you had it in you . . . ."

Another awkward, though admittedly much less ominous silence filled the room. Of all the reactions I was prepared for, this was not one of them.

"You're . . . you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Steven laughed. "Dude! I was hoping for this! Congrats to you both!" He pulled Fluttershy and me in for a hug. Over his shoulders, I glanced at Fluttershy; she looked as confused as I felt.

When he released us, I tried to articulate said confusion. "I mean . . . I was so sure I'd at least get the whole 'You know what I'll do to you if you ever hurt her' song and dance . . . ."

Steven chuckled and tapped me on the shoulder. "Dude, you should know I respect you too much to know you won't treat Fluttershy like anything less than a princess. Is it too much to ask for enough respect to not see me that way?" He didn't wait for an answer, but instead pulled me in for a hug. A few back-slaps later, and my mind was somehow much more at ease than I was expecting.

Still, the looming feeling of being trapped in another world was too strong to shake off.

"Did you hear that, my lord?" Fluttershy looked at me, beaming. "He approves! Ser 7hund3r is willing to allow us to be together! Isn't that wonderful?" She was the next to hug me, and she leaped onto me, holding me close and caressing my neck. I returned her embrace, taking in her presence, her flowery scent, her warm, supple skin. It was all I could do to resist the urge to slide a hand up her silky dress. She pulled away only long enough to kiss me, long and hard and passionately. She lay a hand delicately on my cheek and I ran my fingers through her luxurious pink hair. And for that moment, we were the only two people in the world.

"Whew!" called Steven, a harsh reminder that we were, in fact, not the only two people in the world. "I mean, you never needed my permission, guys, but jeez! You need me to step outside?"

The kiss ended, and Fluttershy giggled, gazing starry-eyed up at me. Her eyes could be the only thing in the world for me, and for a moment they were. But still, the realization struck me as hard as it had started.

"What is it, my lord?" Fluttershy asked. She must have sensed it. She had such a way with emotions. "Aren't you happy? Don't you want to spend your life with me?"

"I do," I answered without even thinking, "more than anything. It's just . . ." I sighed and sat back down on the bed. "I had a life before all this. On the Outside. I had a home. I had family. It wasn't perfect, and I'd gladly trade it away for you, but . . . what would they all think, knowing I'm never coming back? I could be dead, for all they know. I wish . . . I just wish I had one last moment to let them all know I'm okay. It would be selfish to be here knowing they'd never see me again, and don't even know why. If I could just go back . . . one last time . . . ."

I felt the bed shift, and I turned to see Steven sit next to me. Fluttershy followed, sitting on my other side. "I felt that way, you know," he said, his tone low and morose. "When I first realized we couldn't go back. There was a part of me that wanted to get my affairs in order just for a while. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized . . . my life out there? It kinda sucked."

"Really?" I said. "You and Chris never really talked about the Outside a lot."

"There's a reason. I can't speak for Chris, but me? I have nothing left back there. And even if I did, it is ganked up beyond all recognition. So when I realized this was all real, and there was no going back, I embraced it. For me, it was a new start. A chance to be something I never could be on the Outside."

I could see where he was going with this. "A hero?"

"Nah! A super-powerful badass warrior with a smokin' hot girlfriend and tons of money!" He laughed uproariously and clapped me on the shoulder. I grinned uneasily at his zeal. It seems I only kind of knew where he was going with that.

"Look, dude," he continued, "the point is, things are different now. But that doesn't mean it has to be scary. I don't know what life was like for you on the Outside, but you can't deny that you are everything you could never be back there. I mean, you are 'LightningSword'! You know why?"

"Because I named myself after a Yu-Gi-Oh card I made up for a fanfic?" I deadpanned.

"That too! But it means that you've put a hell of a lot of work into your path as a paladin! You're a sword-swinging hero with mastery of the Quicksilver. You're in possession of the Shining Force, one of the rarest swords out there. And I mean it when I say you're the best damn paladin I ever met. And you won the affections of our own Miss Fluttershy! I'd say that's a huge step-up from where you were before."

I felt Fluttershy's hand on my other shoulder, and I turned to see her smiling face, which was indeed a massive step above the way things were.

""Like I said, man," Steve concluded, "I can't speak for you or Chris, but if you did have a life on the Outside, and you want everyone in it to know you're okay, just live your best life right here with us. They may not know it, but if they suspect the worst, they'll definitely be wrong. So if you want to do something for them, live for them. Fight for them. Just like you fight for us."

I considered Steven's words, and in some way, they made sense. I may not be able to reach my friends and family on the Outside, and they may fear the worst. But if nothing could be done about it, the best—and really, the only—thing to do would be to make sure they have nothing to worry about, even if they don't know it. And he made a few good points. On the Outside, I was a nobody without a voice. But here, I'm a respected warrior with a trove of treasures and weapons I earned (or stole, depending on the circumstances), an encyclopedic knowledge of spells at my disposal, and the most beautiful woman in the land as my mate. It was then that it occurred to me that in panicking over what I had lost, I paid little attention to what I had gained.

"And if you're worried about what you've done in the past, don't be. I know you well enough by now. You wouldn't have killed anyone or anything if you knew you didn't have to. You're the type of person to get depressed picking the wrong dialogue option and getting an NPC mad at you."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm still mourning over having to kill Keira in 'The Witcher 3'."

Steve chuckled too. "See? That's what I'm talking about. Besides, anyone who's been through what you've been through and still makes Fluttershy get that look in her eyes? Can't be all bad, right?"

I glanced back over and saw that look. The starry-eyed look in her sexy teal eyes. Her fingers fiddled with my hand on the bed, and when I glanced down on them, I felt my face flush. She still wanted me even after all this, even after I freaked out, even after I admitted that I thought she was still just coding and graphics. She looked at me in a way no NPC ever could. This was true admiration.

No. This was true love.

"A-HEM!" We were both shaken out of our mutual stare very loudly by Steven. "Again, I can leave if you need me to," he laughed. It was then that something profound occurred to me. Before, I would have felt more self-conscious about my feelings for a game character. But now, there was none of that self-consciousness. No awkwardness, no insecurity, just the way I felt about a beautiful woman and how she felt about me. It was that moment that I knew, without question, that it was all real.

That she was all real.

I turned to Steven, my fingers still fiddling with Fluttershy's. "I think we might just take you up on that, pal."

Steven responded with a smirk, then a shrug as he headed toward the door. "We'll all be downstairs. Be warned, though, Sombra will be weak for the next few days, and we're not sure just how this whole thing has affected him. We'll need your input at some point . . . when you're done 'inputting' elsewhere."

I scoffed at the implication as Steve disappeared through the door. Once we were the only two people in the room again, Fluttershy took me fully by the hand. I looked deep into her sparkly eyes, my own still lined with worry. "Are you sure about this?" I asked her earnestly.

She looked back at me, hard to read at first, until a smile crept across her face. She leaned forward and kissed me again, another long and passionate kiss that was all the answer I think she needed to give. When we parted, we paused to catch our breaths before she answered with words, "I've never been surer of anything in my life. I've made the right decision. I know I have."

"Still . . . there's so much unknown about all this . . . I'm still out there risking my life, and now that we're together, I feel like that's selfish of me. There could come a time when I finally slip up and die, and some random messenger will come to you saying that I'll never come back to you again. I'm more aware than ever now that every time I leave, I might never come back. And for you to know that someday you might never be held in my arms again . . . I couldn't do that to you. It wouldn't be right."

There was another pause in which I turned my gaze downward, perhaps in shame. I sighed, my mind frustratingly stuck in neutral as it tried to come up with a solution. I wanted her, and she wanted me. But this world we were in would keep us apart, no matter what. And with Arok and his goons on the move, the probability of shattering Fluttershy with news of my death just increased.

I felt Fluttershy take my hand again, holding it in both of hers. I looked at her, and her suddenly steely gaze threw me. I'd never seen her look this determined.

"Teach me."

I was hoping I had just been hearing things, but I had seen her speak those words. "What?"

"Train me, my lord. Teach me in the ways of the spellsword. That way, I won't just be sitting here waiting for you to come home. We could quest together! That way, we'll never be apart, and if you need someone, I can protect you!"

"No!" I immediately barked. "I couldn't! I could never endanger your life like that! You mean far too much to me to allow you to risk your life, especially if it's just for me! I'd never live with myself if something happened to you!"

"But that's just it. You'd never let anything happen to me, I know it! So if I fall short of expectations, you would protect me with your life! At least until I'm as strong as you, and then we could protect each other without worry! If this Arok fiend is truly after us, then it would benefit us all to have at least one more sword-wielder ready to slay this dragon when it comes through the portcullis! Think of it, my love, you and Lord Mannaulus and Ser 7hund3r are formidable together, and when Lord Sombra is back to full strength, you'll be even stronger. But how do we know Arok isn't on his way here now? And how long will it take for Lord Sombra to recuperate? You'll need all the help you can get, and I am willing to learn from you all I can." She pressed my hand to her chest. "I am at your humble service. Teach, and I will learn."

I would have protested more, but the more she spoke, the more sense she made. Nothing would stop Arok and his neo-Nazi cult from finding us and taking the fight to our front door. And having Fluttershy here as backup rather than a valuable to be protected. It gave her much more respect as an Equis and as a person. Furthermore, if she was this determined and I turned her down, she would probably ask Steve for training instead. She'd ask anyone if she thought there was even a small chance they would say yes.

"Well . . ." I hesitated, knowing exactly the answer she wanted. Another sigh later, and I relented. "We start your training tomorrow."

Fluttershy gasped excitedly and threw her arms around me, forcing me to lean back. "Thank you, my love!" she squealed. "I'll be a good pupil! I won't let you down, I swear to it!"

I could hardly reply. With her pressed up against me, arms around my neck, eyes shining down on me, breasts pressed firmly against my chest, there was barely any room for a conversation.

In fact, the only thing that seemed to be left was . . . .

"Just so we're clear," I asked, "you do want—"

"Yes," she replied, almost breathlessly, with a nod.

"Yes, well . . . besides the training, I mean did you want to—"

"Yes. Please. Right now."

My eyes widened at her zeal, but I nodded. "Just so we're on the same page."

She then proceeded to tear at the fastenings on my breeches, while I thrust my hands up her dress. Small clothes came down on us both, I raised her skirt, we lay back on the bed, and began an entirely different class of sword training.