Four days after returning home, on a cool overcast morning, Milla is helping Carol repair her motorbike in her workshop after it developed an ignition fault causing it to be down on power. At first, the work goes smoothly, but halfway through the task, Milla's mind begins to wander.
When Carol asks for a socket wrench and is handed a screwdriver, she decides to speak up. "Something up, Magic Mutt?"
"Hm?" Milla replies. "Oh, uh, no, I just… feel a little tired, I guess."
"I asked for a socket wrench with a ten‑sixteenth and you handed me a flat‑head screwdriver," Carol comments, sliding out from under her bike and lifting her goggles.
Milla looks at her hand to see the screwdriver still in it. "Huh… I coulda sworn I picked up the wrench…"
Carol sits up and takes the screwdriver from Milla. "Wanna take a break and talk about it?"
"Talk about what?" Milla asks.
"What's got you so distracted," Carol answers.
"I just made a mistake, s'all," Milla dismisses.
"A mistake is handing me a nine‑sixteenth instead of a ten," Carol corrects. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"Yeah, I guess," Milla sighs. "It's just… I dunno."
"Tell you what: since Lilac's napping and I don't want to wake her, I'll sneak up and grab a couple of drinks, then we can talk about what's bothering you," Carol suggests. "Sound good?"
"Yeah," Milla nods. "Sorry for being so silly."
"Don't worry about it," Carol assures. "Back in a sec," she adds as she jogs out of the workshop.
Milla takes the chance to organise her thoughts a little. Carol's right: I have a lot on my mind, otherwise I wouldn't have made such a silly mistake.
Carol returns a minute later, two ice‑cold cans of Wild Cola in her hands. "Can you believe we still have four crates of this stuff?" she asks. "I mean, I know I agreed to this, and it is kinda cool, but it's still weird seeing my face on so many cans. But that's my fault for not resisting Lilac's encouragement enough."
"At least this tastes nice, unlike that Dragon Boost drink Lilac's on," Milla replies, accepting one of the cans.
"That stuff only sells because she's so darn pretty," Carol comments. "But that's not important right now. What's on your mind?"
Milla lets out a long sigh. "Is it normal to doubt who you really are?"
"Every day," Carol answers without hesitation. "I ran away from home because I was afraid I'd never live up to expectations, yet events keep pulling me back to where I'm not sure I want to be. It's something I've gotten used to over the years, so it doesn't bother me much anymore. Some days I wake up and I want to make a clean break, have a fresh start, but I never follow through. Still, I'm only fourteen: plenty of time left to figure it all out."
"And I'm twelve, so I have even longer," Milla replies. "But then you don't have two identities."
"Ah, you're trying to figure out if you're Milla Basset or Bái Shén Měi Lán," Carol realises. "This may sound like a cop‑out answer, but why not both?"
"Because… they're just so different," Milla answers. "One is a feral child who got caught up in something far beyond her wildest imagination, the other is the latest in an ancient lineage that helped shape the world we live in. I just… can't figure out how to put them together."
"It's like they're pieces from different jigsaws."
"Uh‑huh."
"It kinda reminds me of Lilac, in a way," Carol comments. "I've told you about Sash before, right?"
"You told me that Sash is the other half of Lilac's split personality," Milla recalls.
"The half she's petrified by, and for good reason," Carol confirms. "Thing is, she wasn't always that way. Back when we were in the Scarves, Lilac went by her full name, and she was comfortable in her own fur. The split happened to help her cope with… with the loss of my sister… Sorry, I just need a moment."
"Take your time," Milla replies softly.
Carol closes her eyes and takes a few deep calming breaths before opening them again. "Now, where was I… Oh yes," she continues, the moment of grief now passed. "The split happened, and thankfully Lilac quickly became the dominant personality, creating the Little Miss Heropants we know today. But under it all, Sash still lurks, and it's my hope that one day, Lilac will realise she doesn't need to fear Sash. And when she realises that, she'll become the full Sash Lilac once more."
"I'm not sure how that helps me though," Milla replies.
"Maybe it doesn't," Carol shrugs. "But here's my thinking: Milla Basset is scared of Bái Shén Měi Lán, just like how Lilac is scared of Sash."
Milla makes to reply, only to stop herself. "…maybe a little," she admits quietly. "I hurt Mipham pretty badly, and that feels like something Měi Lán would do, but Milla would never."
"People are capable of surprising feats when pushed beyond their limits," Carol explains. "And here's where you and Lilac differ. When Lilac is pushed too far, she becomes a totally different person. However, when you're pushed too far, you don't change anywhere near as much."
"I don't?" Milla asks, confused.
"Lilac would have said that Sash hurt Mipham," Carol explains. "You said you hurt Mipham."
"Huh… Maybe I am both Milla Basset and Bái Shén Měi Lán after all," Milla realises. "Not sure how I feel about that."
"Eh, you'll figure it out," Carol winks in assurance. "What was that thing people kept telling you?"
"That I have the strength of the Bái Shén," Milla recalls, blushing slightly.
"And that's all in here, regardless of whether you're Milla Basset, Bái Shén Měi Lán, or both," Carol replies, patting Milla gently on the top of her head. "Feeling better?"
"A little," Milla sighs, smiling slightly.
Carol starts to gently scratch behind Milla's ear. "How about now?"
Milla cannot help but wag her tail in response. "Hey, no fair!" she giggles. "You know how much I like that!"
"Whaddya gonna do about it?" Carol teases playfully.
Milla barks playfully in response.
"Oh, really?" Carol smirks. "Gotta catch me first!"
Carol sprints out the workshop, Milla following behind on all‑fours. Carol does her best to stay ahead of Milla, but the hound's speed more than makes up for Carol's tricks, and in less than a minute, she catches the wildcat and pounces.
"Gotcha!" Milla exclaims as she wraps her arms and legs lightly around Carol, bringing them both down in a thick layer of leaves.
"Oh no, what am I gonna do now?" Carol asks, playing along and pretending to struggle free.
"I'll let you go if you promise to make sushi with me and Lilac later," Milla answers.
"You leave me no choice," Carol sighs, playing at surrender. "I promise to make sushi with you and Lilac later."
Milla lets Carol go, then accepts the wildcat's help to her feet. "Thanks," she sighs happily. "I needed that."
"That's what friends are for," Carol replies, giving Milla a quick hug. "Come on, let's get back to fixing my bike."
"Race ya back!" Milla exclaims before taking off on all‑fours.
Carol shakes her head in amusement. I'll never cease to be amazed at the strength of her spirit. Wish I was that strong… Maybe one day I will be. Carol takes a deep breath, pushes her worries aside, and sprints back to the workshop to continue repairing her bike with Milla's assistance.
After dinner that evening, with Carol napping on her bunk after eating too much sushi (not for the first time), Lilac and Milla are looking through the treehouse's video collection for something to watch.
"Oh, how about this one?" Lilac asks, selecting the first season of a show featuring five heroes in differently‑coloured matching bodygloves who pilot mechs which combine into one giant bipedal mech wielding a massive sword. "It's a bit cheesy, I'll admit, but it's good fun to watch."
"Uh‑huh," Milla replies, not really paying attention.
Lilac notices Milla's staring into the mid‑distance instead of looking at the videos on the shelves. "Is something wrong?"
It takes a moment for Milla to snap back to reality. "Hm? Oh, sorry, I uh… kinda drifted off a bit there… Done that a few times today."
"Carol told me about your chat earlier," Lilac replies. "Guess you're still a little confused."
"Kinda, yeah," Milla sighs. "Um… This may be a lot to ask, and feel free to say 'no', but… um… can I ask you about Sash?"
Lilac's expression darkens instantly. "Oh… I uh… I wasn't expecting to… I mean… Do you really want to know?"
"Well… yeah," Milla confirms.
Lilac takes a deep breath. "It's… not easy for me to talk about," she admits. "On the other hand, it's only fair that you know about her, what she's capable of… and why I'm so scared of her. I just… need a few moments to prepare."
"I'll make some oolong tea," Milla volunteers.
Lilac watches Milla head into the kitchen. How much do I dare tell her? Will she think any less of me after?
Milla returns a few minutes later with two fresh cups of oolong tea, and it's obvious that Lilac's feeling nervous. "Do you need a few more minutes?" she asks, concerned.
"No, I'm ready," Lilac assures. "I just want to say, before I tell you about Sash, that I hope you don't think any less of me after."
"Carol's already told me some stuff," Milla informs as she sets the drinks down and sits next to Lilac. "I know Sash is someone who you keep hidden, and I know she exists because of what happened to Carol's sister."
"Losing Coral… was the most devastated I've ever felt," Lilac recalls, tears forming in her eyes. "She was such a huge influence on me and Carol, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her guidance and wisdom. Ever since, I've strived to be the hero, and I pushed the darkness down as deep as I could… and that's when she appeared… We've told you about Hanna Skarlett before, right?"
"A few times," Milla confirms. "Is Sash as bad as her?"
"No," Lilac admits. "She's worse."
"How much worse?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes."
Lilac takes a deep breath to calm herself as much as possible, but it doesn't do much good. "Compared to Sash, Hanna's a declawed kit," she finally reveals. "Sash is cruel beyond compare, violent beyond reason, and would think nothing of slaying everyone who stands in her way, no matter who they are."
"I uh… Would Sash kill me?" Milla asks nervously.
"She… I hope we never find out," Lilac replies.
"Have… Have you ever let her out?"
"Three times," Lilac admits, her hair whips twitching. "Once in Shuigang when I thought Carol was dead, once on Sky Patrol when fighting Metal Sonic, and once after… after what happened to you on the Dreadnought."
"I think I know where this is going," Milla guesses quietly, memories of her first transformation rising in her mind.
"Seeing what Brevon did to you…" Lilac tails off, her hands clutching her hair whips as she fights to remain calm. "Sorry, I just… I need a moment."
"Take your time," Milla replies softly.
Lilac closes her eyes and silently recites a few calming mantras before opening them again, having relaxed enough to release her hair whips. "Sorry about that: I just… I don't like recalling that day."
"I don't either," Milla sighs. "Thanks for talking to me about Sash."
"It's right you should know," Lilac explains. "If I may, why did you want to know about her?"
"Because… Because I don't want Bái Shén Měi Lán to be like her," Milla admits.
Despite the dark mood, Lilac cannot help but chuckle slightly. "You'll never be like her," she assures. "You're just too… what's the right word…"
"Nice?" Milla guesses.
"Yeah, you're too nice," Lilac agrees. "Like when you fought Mipham in that tunnel."
"I did what I had to do to escape," Milla recalls.
"You also went out of your way to help her."
"It was my fault she got hurt."
"And that's why you'll never be like Sash," Lilac smiles, gently ruffling Milla's hair.
"Hey, cut that out!" Milla giggles, playfully pushing Lilac's hand away.
Lilac pulls Milla in for a warm hug. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah," Milla sighs, returning the hug. "Can we watch that show now?"
"Sure," Lilac agrees.
"What show ya gonna watch?" Carol asks, returning to the den after her nap.
"Elemental Rangers," Lilac answers as the hug breaks.
"Blegh," Carol replies, not even trying to hide the fact she doesn't like that show. "Why watch that when you can Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapins?"
Lilac shakes her head in disappointment. "I still don't get what you don't like about Elemental Rangers."
"It's just so cheesy," Carol explains.
"And Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapins isn't?" Lilac asks, allowing herself a subtle smirk.
"…it's not as cheesy," Carol grumbles quietly.
"How about we watch Elemental Rangers tonight, and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapins tomorrow?" Milla suggests.
"Sounds good to me," Lilac agrees. "Carol?"
"Guess I'm outvoted," Carol shrugs. "Just gonna grab a drink first."
A few hours later, after several episodes of Elemental Rangers, the trio turn in for the night. Lilac and Carol easily fall asleep soon after climbing into bed, but Milla lies awake a while, thinking about her conversations with the others. Lilac and Carol did their best to help me figure stuff out, but there's still a lot I'm unsure about. Maybe I should talk to someone else about it? I guess I could talk to Spade, but I doubt he'd be able to help. Unless… I dunno. Guess I just need to give myself enough time to figure it all out, however long it takes.
Milla sighs to herself, rolls over, and eventually slips into a semi‑restful sleep.
