CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Fear
Today was the day I would betray my family. No matter what I wore, everything seemed too little for what I was about to do. The attorney suggested I wear something to convey my innocence even though this wasn't my trial. In a sense though, it would be. Either they would believe my father, or they would believe me. Somehow I doubted that I would win regardless of the outcome. Either I would be believed and my father would go to jail because of me, or no one would believe me and I'd have to go right back to life with him. I still didn't know which was worse.
"You look pretty as always," a voice sounded from the doorway. Turning, my eyes caught Emily standing there dressed in her mock trial outfit. Fitting. I'd been staying with her family since Dad was arrested; I don't know how I would've made it through this without her.
"It's not about looking good." The words came out quietly, the shakiness of them betraying how I felt in that moment. It hadn't meant to come out harsh but the thought of stepping into that courtroom filled me with so much fear I couldn't focus on anything else. It was easily one of the worst days of my life and now I was reliving it again in my head.
"I know, I know that. Do you need anything?"
I turned away then, facing the mirror again. My eyes bored into my reflection, analyzing every inch of my face like the court would in a few hours. The dark circles that had embedded themselves under my eyes after the fire still hadn't faded. If anything, they'd grown deeper against my tanned face. No matter how much makeup I would apply before school, they always seemed to stand out. All of the bruises and scrapes had long since faded but I still saw them scattered along my arms as though they had scarred. If I went in front of the court like this, then this version of myself would be all that remained. Do I want to be remembered as the broken girl who had her entire life torn from her in the span of a couple months? The answer was clear.
"I'm not going."
Silence clung to the air like a parasite, feeding on all of the tension my words had created. "What the fuck do you mean you're not going?" Emily didn't sound angry, she didn't even raise her voice, but I couldn't help but wince. That was when she crossed the room, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to face her. "You're Valerie freaking Dryden, you have to go! You're the most fearless person I've ever met. He deserves to go to jail for what he did to you, and only you can make that happen."
"I caused all of this, Em. It's not even his fault, I caused him to be so angry at the world."
"You couldn't have known all of this would happen. Val, you attract trouble wherever you go but that doesn't mean you caused the reaction to that trouble."
Time faded out, and then I was sitting on the stand staring out at the crowd that had gathered in the courtroom. Most of the people there were from Roseville, though there were a few reporters from the local city taking all of this in. The defense attorney defending Dad had just stood up to cross-examine me. This would be the hard part, trying to defend myself when my heart wasn't fully in it. What came out of the man's mouth weren't the questions and interrogations that flooded my dreams for weeks after, but something new.
"You cause trouble wherever you go, Valerie. First, you make your best friend hate you because you never actually bothered to care about her. You killed your mom and got your dad sent to jail when he got mad at you. All you do is burden people. What about poor Will who just wanted a family without any interruptions from some broken girl he never knew? What about Josh? You led him on for years, of course he thought you two would end up together! Hannah and Jordan took you in out of pity and now they're stuck with you. You attract trouble, maybe you should think about why.
I mean, look at you. You're even about to get murdered in an alley in California right now, alone and scared. Like I said, you're nothing but trouble."
The alley. Reality flooded back to me the second my back slammed against the brick wall. The man's lips were curled into a dangerous smirk, making his intentions clear. "You were just asking for trouble tonight, weren't you?"
"Help, help! Somebody help!" I screeched then, squirming and doing anything I could to escape his grasp. The man practically growled like an animal in response, regripping my arms with such strength that a squeak of pain actually slipped from my lips. If I managed to survive this, there would definitely be deep bruises there.
"Do that again and you're dead right now."
"I'm dead anyway." The statement hurt, it slammed into my chest in time with the force of a moving car causing my racing heart to skip. It was true though. No one knew where I was going, we're in an abandoned alley in the middle of the night, and this man is almost inhumanly strong. I'd really gotten myself into a situation that I couldn't escape from. At least I would go down fighting. Haven't there been cases where the killer was IDed from the skin under the dead girl's nails?
"Don't sell yourself short, sweetcheeks. I intend to play with you for a little while. I'm a hunter, and you're the prey." Who was this man? What kind of sick people lived here? "Don't scream, and I might even give you a ten-second head start."
"Screw you," I spit back at him, trying desperately to fight my way out of his grasp. All he would do was laugh at me, hardly even affected by my struggle. This was truly it then, after all of my efforts to get through adolescence, I would end up short by a few months. This was a big city, so I would just be another number here. My death probably wouldn't even be discovered for a couple of days. I'd be another missing person case that turned up wrong. Poor Will, having to deal with yet another funeral.
"I'm flattered, but I have a woman already," the man spoke nonchalantly as if he wasn't threatening to hunt and kill me. I had to wonder who would find that greasy blonde ponytail and those brilliant red eyes attractive. What kind of disease did he have to give him red eyes?
The smug look on his face dropped in an instant as he snapped his head to look to the alley opening. I couldn't see past him, but something spooked him enough to lighten his grip. "Lucky you, you have someone protecting you," he spoke loud enough for someone else to hear before leaning in so close his hair brushed my cheek, whispering in my ear, "I'll see you later, sweetcheeks."
Just like that, the man disappeared with inhuman speed. As soon as he let go of me, my shaking legs gave out, unable to hold up my weight. Someone was in front of me in an instant but all I could do was scream and fight them. No, I wouldn't be taken again. No more trouble, please anything but. This was too much for one night. "Valerie, Valerie calm down," someone was speaking. Their voice was smooth like velvet and still calm despite all my panicking.
With the speed that man had, the panic ebbed away. My vision cleared and then I could see Jasper Hale crouched in front of me, hands ghosting just over my arms as if he were afraid to attempt touching me again. "Jasper?" my voice was still shaky and obviously tearful. I hadn't noticed before, but my face was sticky with tears. I couldn't even question why he was there, instead, my body lurched forward to wrap around him, seeking his protection and comfort. This was someone I knew, this was someone who saved my life twice now. I could trust Jasper Hale, that much I knew.
"Jasper," I croaked, fresh tears falling again as I leaned into him, both of us still on the ground in the chilled, dark alley. The light above us was just enough to illuminate his face, his figure. "Jasper, I almost died tonight." The panic was rising in me again, but just as soon as it started I could feel it disappearing again. It seemed like Jasper's presence was able to calm me. "I almost died. I should be dead right now." That was the moment that Jasper's strong arms wrapped around me, keeping me tucked into him. A feeling of safety wrapped over me like a blanket; a barrier between me and the panic that seemed to always be near.
"I would never let that happen to you." The sentence was so quiet I almost missed it. I allowed myself to pull out of his arms to see his face. Jasper carried a new expression, one of complete fear. There was underlying anger clear in his eyes, but when our gazes met it quickly melted to what I could only guess to be worry. Jasper Hale was worried about me of all people.
"I-" Another deep breath to steady myself again, though I'd felt calm as soon as Jasper was near me, even though it didn't make sense. I normally didn't feel calm around Jasper. "Thank you."
"I'll walk you back to your house," Jasper offered, "Are you ready?" He was acting so careful with me. Normally I would be annoyed at the treatment, but at the moment it felt as though one wrong move could send me reeling again. Being alone was the opposite of what I needed. This night was too much all at once. So, instead, I nodded and he helped me up, keeping so close to me that his shoulder brushed mine as we walked.
Once the overwhelming fear stopped clouding my mind, I dared ask the important question. "How did you know I was here?"
"I heard you screaming," Jasper explained as if the answer was obvious.
"No, I mean here in California. I thought you'd be in Forks."
"My family's here for vacation. It's winter break for everyone."
If I had more energy at that moment, then I would be annoyed at Jasper freaking Hale once again for always having good answers for everything. It just didn't seem right. What were the odds that the Cullens would vacation in the exact same city at the same time we were? Even worse, what were the chances that Jasper would be walking down the sidewalk at the exact time I was getting attacked? It felt more like he was watching me for some reason, but even the thought sent a sharp stab of fear through my middle. It must have caused a physical reaction because Jasper's head whipped to face me soon after.
"Why were you walking around alone at night? It's not safe," Jasper asked a few minutes later, not bothering to look at me as he spoke. It was still dark out, but I could see worry etched into his face again. Usually, his expressions were impossible to read but this one was clear. Jasper didn't hide his worry for me, that much was obvious.
"I needed time alone to think."
"You shouldn't have been walking out here, not this late. If I hadn't been there you could have been-"
"Killed, I know that. But you were there. Trust me, I won't be doing that again anytime soon."
"I won't always be there. Could you try to keep yourself out of-"
"If you say trouble I might scream right now." Even the thought of someone else telling me that I'm trouble sent tension through every portion of my body. "It's not like I'm trying to get myself into these situations, it just happens around me. Besides, if you managed to be there for me when I was in California, I'm pretty sure you'll always be there."
"You act like I'm in California for you."
"You haven't proven you're not," I returned, a small smirk pulling up at my lips before I could help it. "And after the stunt you pulled in calc, you have a lot to prove." It's hard to believe that our argument happened just a couple of weeks ago. After tonight, it felt like a lifetime ago.
Jasper looked at me then, even turning his head to face me fully as we walked. From the way his eyes flitted about, I could tell he was analyzing me, probably to see if I was joking or not. "Does saving you count for anything?" It was so small I almost missed it, that quick upturn of his lips, a ghost of that rare smile he had.
"Hmm...maybe it makes up for you calling me difficult."
"You were being difficult, that hardly counts," Jasper returned.
"And you're Jasper freaking Hale. I was being difficult because your irritatingly gorgeous face was annoying me," I answered, crossing my arms over my chest in a way reminiscent of Laurie throwing a temper tantrum when Will wouldn't let her have candy for breakfast.
"Gorgeous?" Jasper repeated, this time looking annoyingly amused; eyebrow raised, smirk pulled up so much it was almost a smile, his own arms crossed.
"I'm pretty sure I said irritating first." The look Jasper gave me was enough of an answer. I rolled my eyes in return, though the way my heart stayed calm this entire walk said enough. Even though he was teasing me, Jasper was almost keeping my mind off of what just happened. He was managing to keep me calm when really all my mind told me to do was panic. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought, not that I could tell him that without him using it against me at some point.
He didn't say anything else the rest of the walk, but his presence was enough. Just the moments where his shoulder brushed mine was enough to ground me in reality, keep me from wandering back to what happened earlier. When we finally made it back to the house, my heart actually began to race again. Now Jasper would leave and I would be alone again.
"Could, could you come in?" My voice was small, quiet and unsure. It was a lot to ask, he probably wanted to get back to his family. They would probably be wondering where he was. I was just some hot-headed girl in his class that he was now stuck with again. "I don't want to be alone right now."
Jasper didn't say anything, but then again he didn't have to. Instead, he opened the door that my tipsy self must have left unlocked and guided me inside. He locked the door behind us and followed me up to the room I was staying in for that weekend. Everything he did was so full of care, never saying a word but always seeming to know just what I needed. And anytime my mind would begin to race with memories of earlier and panic would hit me again, he would look at me and all of a sudden the fear was gone and I felt nothing but peace.
"I don't think I can sleep right now," I finally spoke up after I sat down on the ground, leaning up against the bed. Jasper was still standing just in front of the closed door as if he felt stepping any further into the room would be an intrusion. With the way he was watching me, I must have looked like a frightened animal. I felt like one too. "You can come in, you don't have to just stand there," I told him, patting the space next to me. It took a moment, but finally, Jasper ended up sitting beside me, though there was a decent amount of space between us.
"How're you doing?" Jasper asked, tilting his head down slightly so he could look right at me. I continued to stare ahead, eyes focused on anything but him. This felt far too intimate considering our last interaction before break.
"I'm sorry for being so difficult. I know I can be a pain in the ass, I'm trying to work on that," I spoke, voice still too quiet compared to my normal tone. "I don't know why, but you just..."
"Make you angry? Cause a reaction that no one else can get out of you?"
"You say that like you have experience with it."
"You make me feel the same way." My head turned so I could finally look at him. I wanted us to be back in calculus, not in a bedroom sitting on the ground because this was far too normal. Somehow yelling at him seemed more comfortable because this, this I didn't know how to navigate. "I don't understand you, Valerie."
No other words were spoken; they didn't need to be. A comfortable silence washed over us and that was it. For once I was content to just be quiet. I don't remember when I got tired, but eventually, I ended up laying on the ground, arms holding my head up. Fighting sleep grew more difficult as time went on.
Ask me about it later and I would deny everything, but the last words spoken between us that night were my fault.
"I don't want to stay away from you, Texas."
"Darlin', I can't stay away from you either."
The next morning Jasper was gone. It was expected, but I couldn't help but let disappointment drop my shoulders down. I had fallen asleep on the ground, but when I woke up I was laying on the bed, sheets underneath me but a blanket I recall being downstairs draped over me. A small smile pulled at my lips upon the thought of Jasper searching for a blanket for me. Perhaps he wasn't quite as horrible as I thought, even if he is still irritating.
It still didn't make sense though. How was Jasper there in that alley right when I needed him? It couldn't have been a coincidence, as scary as that thought was. That man who attacked me was incredibly strong, almost too strong to be human. He had red eyes that looked like they belonged to a monster. That man was also scared of Jasper. Jasper, who somehow can live forever and now scare off a man with inhuman strength. Did that mean Jasper was as strong as him? It would make sense. The night Josh attacked me, I thought Jasper was going to kill him. He looked capable of it, too. Jasper is hiding more from me than being immortal, that much was made clear last night. Perhaps he's just as dangerous as he says. What was I getting myself into? Honestly, I didn't care to know why that man was scared of Jasper. I'm not sure I could have handled the answer.
The girls were awake, I could hear them laughing from the kitchen. It was time to face them after everything had happened. It would make sense to let them in, but the thought of burdening them with anything else shot pain through my chest. They didn't need to know, and they really didn't need to know that Jasper Hale was in my room last night. So, I got ready for the day and joined them like nothing of interest had happened the previous night.
The rest of the trip was a blast. It was as relaxing as it should have been; no more weird attacks coming out of nowhere. The girls and I spent the rest of the trip on the beach even if it was a little too cold. We gossiped and laughed and teased each other just like a group of friends should. For the first time since I'd been in Forks, I truly felt like I was supposed to be there.
For once, I didn't spend my time wondering what my life would be like had the accident not happened. It still hurt as nothing else would, but that hurt was ebbing out as though I were beginning to wash out the wound. It would scar, and for once I was sure I would be okay after it did.
Hi everyone! Long time no see, huh? I spent these months rediscovering my love for Valerie as a character and this story. Over these months I have planned out the rest of this story and I'm ready to see this through. Especially now with recent events, I'm going to have a more steady schedule. I'm hoping for a chapter every week, maybe even a couple of times a week. I already have another chapter that just needs editing, so that will probably be posted on Sunday or Wednesday. I finally love this story again and I apologize to you all that I had to take time to re-find that.
As for this chapter, it's a shorter one but this is really important. This chapter doesn't fix Jasper and Valerie's relationship completely but I do see Valerie wanting to reevaluate how she acts around him maybe just a little (even if she is still infuriated by him sometimes). Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I absolutely adore all of your reviews, they truly do give me the motivation I need to see this thing through. I was absolutely blown away when a logged on the other day and saw how many of you are supporting Valerie and this story. I truly can't tell you how thankful I am that you guys support this story. Okay, I'll stop gushing now and as always review responses will be just below this! I'll see you all again next week!
I did have a question for y'all! I am in need of a beta reader. If anyone is interested, please reach out!
AnimeFreak71777: Thank you so much for responding! I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter, it was a fun one for me to write.
acompletenerd: Cliffhanger is cliffhanger. That was a big oopsies on my part for leaving you with that one for awhile. It wasn't soon, but it was updated. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review!
Guest: Yes, poor Valerie doesn't really get a break here. I wonder how this event will affect how she works through her feelings about Jasper, hm? ;)
RoniMikaelson: Oh my goodness, thank you! I never imagined someone would stay up all night to read one of my stories, so I really appreciate that. I'm really glad you like Valerie. She's been worked on for years at this point so I'm glad you like how she's ended up. Thank you for reading and I hope you like this one!
Phoenix-Rising29: That is one of the best compliments someone could give me about my writing. I love to read fics on break and I am so happy that you found enjoyment in reading this one. It was a big cliffhanger and I do apologize for leaving it on that for so long. Don't worry Val and Jasper kill me to, but hopefully they start working things out soon! :)
Simiroars: Yes, the tension! The tension is definitely still building, that's for sure. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you like this one.
Guest: Thank you so much! I love writing Valerie and I'm glad you enjoy her too. I'm definitely planning on continuing this through the end. Thanks for your review!
.com: Thank you, truly. I'm so glad you've enjoyed this story so far and I hope you like this update even though it's been awhile. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
