Obi-wan lay in the midst of his thoughts, his fingertips tracing thoughtlessly across the surface of his lover's skin. The weight of his problems hung like heavy storm clouds in the distance, but Anakin was his ray of sunlight. He would bask in the man's presence as long as he could. He knew it wouldn't stop the darkness from stealing away that warmth again, but he would treasure it while he could.
Obi-wan's fingers wandered down, meeting with leather where Anakin's glove began on his lower right arm. He stopped contemplatively, already knowing without truly knowing anything at all. He felt it as an ache in his chest- or was it Anakin's? It was difficult to decipher where his emotions ended and Anakin's began. They were so twisted up in eachother, pleasantly lingering in the relief it brought them to be so close.
"What-" Obi-wan started to ask, the speed of his thoughts reaching Anakin long before a single word ever left his lips. Obi-wan quickly sensed that it wasn't a question of what, but rather whom.
"Dooku," Anakin stated, the words falling from his lips bitterly, stealing some of that warmth that Obi-wan so desperately wanted to cling to. Sometimes holding on too tightly only made things slip away faster, he knew. But it still hurt as he felt Anakin's openness slowly recede, even just slightly.
"I had a chance at him on Geonosis, when this whole war began. I failed." Anakin said low. A pit formed in his stomach, Obi-wan could feel the raw anger and grief that boiled there. "I wasn't strong enough."
Next he felt a surge of anger flood through him, one that stemmed unmistakably from his own heart. It wasn't right for a Jedi to harbor hate, but Obi-wan felt himself slowly losing his ability to care about that, either. So many parts of the code had already been put by the wayside. What difference did it make?
"Sometimes I can't help but think I could have stopped this whole war before it even began. All I had to do was take out Dooku." Anakin said with a frustrated sigh.
"You know as well as I do it's not that simple," Obi-wan answered. "Galactic politics are much more complex. The confederacy is more than just one man." Obi-wan assured him.
"I know, you're right," Anakin said, tensing his jaw uncomfortably. Another sweep of darker emotion came between them, and Obi-wan could feel the warmth slip away further.
"But that doesn't change how you feel." Obi-wan acknowledged gently.
Anakin's eyes glinted with untold pain, he felt it throb in his chest. "In battle things are simple. Having a clear objective, something to throw myself towards, all of it makes sense. It's the only time anything feels simple."
"Your tendency to take on responsibility for things that are not yours to bear, is your weakness, Anakin." Obi-wan said authoritatively.
"As it is yours, Master." Anakin returned swiftly.
"That, among many, many other things." Obi-wan replied, his eyes grazing the skin of the man who lay next to him- his greatest weakness of all. And also, he felt, his greatest strength.
Anakin's gaze struck him through, the warmth of his presence returning as their auras entwined again, dancing around them as if they, together, were one being. "When I was a young Padawan, I thought you were perfect. The way you fought, the words you spoke, the way you moved," Anakin said softly, his eyes sparkling. "You were the perfect Jedi."
As the words of damning praise fell from the man's lips Obi-wan felt failure and heartache rise within him. "What do you think now?" He dared to ask, almost regretting the words as he spoke them. Tell me, what do you think of your Master now, with how far he has fallen? He thought internally, shielding his thoughts from him.
Anakin was a man now, he saw the world more clearly without the lens of youth, skewing his perceptions. Surely he could tell what a fraud Obi-wan was. Even when Anakin had been his Padawan, he should be able to look back and tell what a failure he had been.
"What do I think of you now?" Anakin echoed, his brows rising and pinching as he appraised the man. "I still think you're perfect." He answered honestly.
"And that is your greatest weakness." Obi-wan said, almost condemningly.
"Maybe." Anakin retorted stubbornly, his eyes glinting mischievously as he pushed Obi-wan's shoulder until he lay flat on his back. Taking the opportunity Anakin moved to straddle his hips and sat back, his hands smoothing over Obi-wan's stomach.
The forwardness sent a prickle of gooseflesh crawling over his neck and down his spine, instantly causing a fresh, insatiable need to rise up inside him again. In an instant Obi-wan caught his wrists and locked a leg around one of Anakin's ankles, twisting his hips to put the man on his back. Anakin didn't fight against his Master's hold on him, but instead gazed up at him yieldingly.
Obi-wan felt Anakin malleable under his palms in both body and spirit, he sensed the way warmth sparked inside of him at his touch. He could almost see it chasing through his aura, running rampant in his chest, aching in his belly. He was open, wanting, waiting. Anakin's tenacious willful spirit still glowed inside of him brightly, making his submission so much sweeter by comparison.
Anakin was headstrong and rarely goaded to do anything he did not want to do. He was one of the only Jedi aside from the late Qui-gon Jinn who ever dared to scoff at the council or question them. That same, painfully obstinate man looked up at him with begging, innocent eyes, surrendered to his grip, craved his touch.
"Are you just going to stare at me or-" Anakin started then stopped, a surge of panic stabbing through his chest. Obi-wan felt it crisply before the man closed himself off completely. It felt like someone had pulled the floor out from beneath him.
Before Obi-wan could even ask what was the matter, Anakin was bounding up from the sleeper, throwing on pants as quickly as he could. In the next moment Obi-wan heard the front door to the apartment slide open, and the tread of footsteps that were well familiar with the layout of the place. Whoever gained entrance clearly had security clearance.
"I-I'm sorry, Master, I forgot-" Anakin said, shaken. "Just… Just wait here-" He said, frantic, heading out into the living space. He heard a woman's voice, angry, nearly irate.
Obi-wan felt a rift form inside his chest. Mostly he was furious with himself. It was foolish to believe Anakin's life was simple before this. There was so much about the man that he didn't know. He had let himself get so rapt by such juvenile fantasy to think things could be simple between them.
Obi-wan stood and dressed himself calmly, methodically. There was no need to feel such anger or betrayal. It was irrational to expect Anakin to spell out the happenings of the last two years. Anakin certainly never expected Obi-wan to do such a thing. He shouldn't have been so fixated on images of his Anakin swept up in the arms of someone else. Someone close enough to have security clearance to his own apartment.
He wouldn't share, Obi-wan told him that already. Why did he expect Anakin not to be seeing someone else in his absence? It was absurd. Obi-wan left no reason for him to wait on his return. Of course someone as young, attractive and wayward as Anakin would be seeing someone. He shouldn't have expected anything else.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me when you got out of the healing halls!" A woman exclaimed angrily. "I should never have let you out of my sight that night! I just knew something terrible was going to happen," she scolded.
Obi-wan walked out of Anakin's quarters. The shock he felt did not reach his face, but it cascaded through their bond. Anakin's face fell into bewilderment in response. The woman- Padme- he could see now, shot him the most venomous look he had ever seen before in his life. It was all starting to make sense now. Anakin always had pined over her in his youth.
"Don't tell me…" Padme said low, her gaze switching from Anakin to Obi-wan, and back again.
"Hello Senator Amidala, I was just leaving," Obi-wan said passively.
"Obi-wan, it's not what you think-" Anakin pleaded.
Obi-wan wanted to believe him, truly he did. Every rational thread of his being wanted to stop and think things over, but those were very few and far between, and not nearly enough in number to sway his current mood which was darkening by the second. He strode over to meet Anakin, surveying him with a cool gaze.
He saw the man's desperate face, his broad chest, the bite mark on his left shoulder. Obi-wan smiled slightly, thumbing over Anakin's bruise before crushing a demanding, angry kiss onto the man's lips. Obi-wan felt the sudden action startle the man, but he obediently leaned into him despite his surprise. Anakin was his afterall. Obi-wan felt a deep gratification inside himself that Anakin understood that, too. Padme would just have to learn to accept it. The fact that Anakin hadn't had time to break things off with her was hardly his fault, but now he would have ample time to do so. Anakin would have to choose. And Obi-wan would have to hold his temper just a little bit longer.
"It seems you two have some things to talk about. I'll see you later, Anakin." Obi-wan said after pulling back from his lips.
"Master," Anakin started as he turned to leave, his jewel blue eyes rife with unspoken words. They would have some things to talk about later, too.
….
Obi-wan arrived back at the temple in the early hours of the morning. By the time he might have settled in to get a few hours of rest his Padawan was up and rummaging about on her way to the temple archives. Not an hour later Ahsoka came bursting into their apartment with excitement in her eyes, Merrith faithfully by her side clutching her overstuffed tooka.
Obi-wan was sitting at the table sipping on his tea after his shower when they came bounding through the door. He decided on his way back to the temple to not even try to sleep. It would have been a fruitless and frustrating attempt had he tried, anyways. Instead he was trying to calm his nerves so that he could fully shift back into the role of a Jedi Master for Ahsoka's sake.
"Back so soon?" Obi-wan asked, a single brow arched as he waited for Ahsoka to share whatever had her bursting at the seams.
"Master," Ahsoka panted, slightly out of breath from running. "I found something I think you are going to want to see for yourself." She said, waving a holodisc before she tossed it over.
Obi-wan slid the disc into the data pad he had on hand as a few files filtered onto the screen. "I didn't find much about Kraysiss Two, there isn't too much information about it in the archives. But what I did find was a record of a few research expedition ships that seemed to have stopped there recently, as well as Ziost and Korriban."
"Sith worlds." Obi-wan noted.
"Maybe not so remarkable," Ahsoka shrugged, "but then I looked into the companies that funded those expeditions, and there was only one."
"Czerka," Obi-wan said dryly as he skimmed the reports, feeling it settle like lead in his stomach. The company was nearly as ancient as the republic itself, and had earned the reputation of being notoriously amoral.
"The missions were funded legitimately and received permits from the Senate. Officially they were investigating exotic fauna and flora for medicinal purposes." Ahsoka said doubtfully.
Obi-wan already understood the shadows in her words. Czerka never did anything for the good of other beings, only for heinous profits. He had no doubt they were funding both sides of the war effort, of course only doling out the best product to the highest bidder. It was illegal to possess or use bioweapons in the Republic, though it was questionable whether or not the Confederacy possessed the same moral fortitude.
"The first expedition was nearly two years ago. The last was only a month ago." Ahsoka said excitedly.
Obi-wan felt his jaw tighten and his body tense. It was too close to be a coincidence. His late Master had taught him many things, one of which was that there was no such thing as coincidence, or luck. Perhaps this mission was going to drag him away from the temple before Anakin was deployed again, he thought in frustration. Quickly he put it out of mind.
Another passing thought irked him. If they had gotten to Koda station sooner, they might have learned something from the supposed spy. Though dealing with 'what if' scenarios wouldn't help him now. Besides, he was used to taking the long way round.
"The next order of business is to find out who exactly was aboard those expeditions." Obi-wan said, a thoughtful hand holding at his chin. "I have a feeling it's going to be more difficult of a task than it ought."
Suddenly Obi-wan's comlink chirped. Quickly he answered. Mace spoke from the other end, sounding grim. "Obi-wan, the probe sent out to Koda station has returned. We have a sample of the virus. It's being analyzed as we speak."
"That's great news," Obi-wan said, feeling suspenseful excitement resound through their training bond.
"That's not all." Mace ground out. "Meet me in the briefing room in ten minutes. There's something you need to see."
….
Obi-wan watched with detached horror as the shaky cam footage played out on the holotable before him. Suddenly he understood very well why Ahsoka had been instructed to wait outside. The footage was rubbed with static from long-range transmission, but it didn't dull the shock of it. Obi-wan saw a hoard of monsters slinking down a hall, some on all fours, others limping on broken limbs before breaking out into a gruesome sprint towards their prey.
The audio was badly garbled, but Obi-wan could make out two distinct sounds. The guttural snarls of the beasts, and the high pitched cries of their victims. He felt his stomach sink in wretched disgust as two monsters overwhelmed a young woman, one beast sinking its teeth deep into the soft flesh of her belly, ripping her open while the other wrenched on an arm with strength so great that it tore off in two pulls.
"Is this anything like you saw on Koda station?" Mace asked sternly, pausing the recording and facing Obi-wan with arms crossed over his chest.
Obi-wan nodded his head, averting his eyes. He felt something dark inside him, something terrifying. His hands remembered the hot slick of blood, the way flesh could tear apart so easily. It caught in his chest, pulling him away for a mere second before Mace settled a hand on his shoulder, startling him.
"I'm sorry I had to show you that, Obi-wan. I know the footage is… disturbing." Mace said apologetically.
"It is," Obi-wan said, nodding.
"However, it is necessary, as well as useful information." Mace insisted. "This is also similar to what you and Skywalker encountered on Kraysiss."
"Yes, but the Kraysiss virus worked slower. This has to be different. Modified." Obi-wan said. "Recently there was a research expedition on Kraysiss-"
"Czerka, we know." Mace said with a wave of his hand. "They haven't been much to tinker with bioweapons in the past, but I don't put anything past their golden standard of morality," he said sarcastically.
"I'm sure they would do just about anything if someone paid them enough," Obi-wan said darkly.
"This footage came straight from Anoat. Czerka's homeworld." Mace said, his eyes narrowed.
"Well then I suppose that takes the guessing out of it." Obi-wan said snidely.
"It just might. It appears they have had a security breach in one of their labs. And now the virus has nearly decimated the entire city surrounding the lab."
"I thought Anoat was a dead planet, their atmosphere is toxic."
"It is, but after the mining disaster, many of the people and branches of their government remained, underground or in shelter. Most of the buildings in the cities have been outfitted with oxygen recyclers. At least the ones rich enough to be able to afford them, but not rich enough to leave." Mace said grimly.
"If we let this run its course, it will be a dead planet."
"Thankfully the outbreak is confined to the island where Czerka's lab is located. Still, what we can do is limited." Mace answered, his expression conveying his dislike for the situation.
"Czerka and the government of Anoat have requested our help in an evacuation of the island infected with the virus. The priority is to clear the city of civilians and sterilize it."
"Czerka may be in cohort with the Separatists. They must have complete confidence that no one from Koda station escaped and lived to tell the tale." Obi-wan said, deep in thought.
"If Czerka even knows about Koda station." Mace added. "What if the Separatists stole their research and began their own experiments?"
"Either way, Czerka is in violation of galactic law for developing bioweapons." Obi-wan concluded.
"They say otherwise," Mace said, a dull tone to his voice. "They claim the virus isn't a bioweapon. They were trying to develop med-tech, so the story goes."
"Of course they would try to soften the blow, but it makes no difference, this is too big to cover up. If they think reaching out to us will make them look blameless…" Obi-wan pondered.
"The only thing we need is evidence, what they try to claim has little weight behind it." Mace said, his brows furrowing deeply. "But that just makes this mission more important. It's not just evac. It's data retrieval as well. Of course Czerka doesn't know that."
"They would have to assume that's our objective. Don't you think they will destroy all evidence at the first sign of trouble? How do you know they haven't gotten rid of everything already? They would have fail-safes in place." Obi-wan reasoned.
"The lab was overwhelmed rather quickly, they didn't have time to evacuate. It's reasonable to assume everyone inside is dead. All power was cut to the facility within ten minutes of the outbreak to try and keep it contained, even backup power."
"The facility isn't empty," Obi-wan asserted. "It's full of those things," he said, nodding to the holo that hung as a still image between them.
"Yes," Mace answered with a sigh.
"And you need someone not only to search and evacuate the entire island, but you need a recon team to go inside and find this data." Obi-wan said, suppressing a groan. "How many Jedi are you allocating to the mission? Troops? Support?"
"Three Jedi, two squadrons of Clone Troopers. You'll have a destroyer with landing craft and additional med units and isolation chambers for possibly infected individuals." Mace explained.
"I thought the infection was confined to just one island?" Obi-wan asked. "That seems like an overreaction."
"They call it an island, but it's one of the largest land masses on the planet. There are underwater tunnels that connect it to almost all neighboring islands. The only thing holding back the infection from taking over the entire planet is a few blast doors, I'm afraid. There are too many ways this operation can go sideways." Mace said. "And besides, the intell we hope to gain is substantial."
"I assume we are trying to make a statement to Czerka and the Confederacy as well." Obi-wan said bluntly.
"Strategically, this is the move that makes the most sense." Mace said. "A show of military power is just another benefit."
"If you can call it that." Obi-wan said critically.
"Call it what you will, this is the mission. Your mission." Mace said, crossing his arms. Of course it was.
"My mission? You said three Jedi." Obi-wan said warily.
"Your Padawan Tano, and Skywalker make for the other two." Mace answered. "It's not ideal, but you know how thin the Order is spread. Skywalker will be commanding a squadron from the 501st legion, and you've been allocated to command the 212th."
"Master Windu, I don't think Ahsoka is ready." Obi-wan protested. Ahsoka had grown significantly since their time together began, but not nearly enough for him to feel comfortable with her on this mission. Not to mention the added fact that Mace was ignoring Anakin's leave again.
"I understand the high risk nature of this mission, Obi-wan. We simply don't have much of a choice." Mace answered. "She needs to be ready."
Obi-wan felt a surge of anger boil in his gut. He took a breath and tried to release it, but the process of releasing such things seemed impossible anymore. He only stifled it as best he could.
Ahsoka was not ready for a mission like this. It had nothing to do with her not being good enough. Obi-wan thought back to himself at her age, knowing he couldn't have handled it, either. It was dangerous, and reckless for Mace to know that and disregard his feelings on the matter.
"With all due respect Master Windu, Ahsoka is staying on Coruscant with Merrith." Obi-wan said in a fairly neutral voice, trying with all his might to ignore his growing anger.
"If you prefer, have her stay on the ship then, Master Kenobi. Don't forget you are being given a destroyer for this mission." Mace said sternly.
Obi-wan didn't want to explain why the idea of that made him feel even less confident than the idea of her on the ground. While Ahsoka had grown over the last couple months, Obi-wan didn't trust her to stay put on his order. Being on-world under his supervision was just a trifle better than out of his sight, possibly getting herself into a pit of trouble as she had the reputation for.
"Yes, Master Windu." Obi-wan answered in monotone, knowing any more protest would be useless. He didn't feel like expending any unnecessary energy.
"The citizens are bunkered down well enough at the moment. Everything will be ready for you to leave at first light tomorrow morning." Mace said, accepting his begrudging compliance.
"Wonderful." Obi-wan said dryly. "I can't wait," he said, dismissing himself to return to his Padawan who waited for him in the hall outside.
"So do we have a mission?" Ahsoka chimed happily, Merrith looking wide eyed between the two of them. The girl never liked to leave Ahsoka's side. Obi-wan wondered what that separation would be like tomorrow morning when they would have to leave Merrith behind.
"Yes, Padawan, we do." Obi-wan said, carefully neutral as the three of them made their way back to the apartments.
"I won't let you down, Master." Ahsoka said brightly, meaning every word of it. He didn't have it in his heart to give voice to his doubts, nor did he think it would be productive. Instead he remained silent, neither outwardly approving or disapproving.
Then his heart sank again. He had been so preoccupied by everything, he still hadn't told Anakin about the bounty. Now would not be the time to tell him, that opportunity had passed. Shipping out for a mission as serious as this, he needed Anakin to be at his very best. Obi-wan wasn't even sure if all three of them at their best would cut it.
….
Padme was fuming when she stormed towards him. Anakin didn't think he had ever seen her so angry in his life. He would have been more receptive to her if his world didn't feel like it was crashing down all around him.
When she walked in, he panicked. Obi-wan sensed it. Now, he didn't know what his Master was thinking, but he knew he was getting the wrong idea.
"Anakin, are you even listening to me?" Padme shouted, seething.
"Y-yes, I'm sorry. This is just a really, really bad time." Anakin pleaded, trying to abate the woman's anger. She'd always been an intense soul. At times it was endearing. She was a friend you wanted in your corner. Right now it was killing him. He felt like he was watching a train wreck unfold in slow motion.
"Are you going to tell me what happened then? What really happened?" Padme pressed. "I saw how you were when you went out that night. You can't just lie to me, I know you weren't out there jumping from speeder to speeder, trying to catch a thief!"
"Can't we talk about this later Padme?" Anakin nearly begged.
"You left the healing halls, and you didn't even call me." She ground out. "And what's that bruise on your shoulder? Didn't you just get out of a bacta vat or something?" She said critically.
"Padme, please," Anakin said, trying to usher her towards the door.
"I thought our friendship meant more to you, Ani. I can't believe you didn't tell me when you got out of the healing halls! I should never have let you out of my sight that night! I just knew something terrible was going to happen," she cried.
Anakin felt terrible about everything, he really did. He wanted time to explain himself, but there was no time. He heard the door to his quarters open as Obi-wan stepped out into the open. He felt Padme's shock loudly. It felt like his world was ending. Padme and Obi-wan were two people who meant the most to him in the entire galaxy.
Her mouth moved around the word NO before she found breath to speak. "Don't tell me…" she almost growled, shaking her head. Worse than anger, now there was disappointment staring back at him in her eyes.
"Hello Senator Amidala, I was just leaving." Obi-wan spoke cooly, sending an icy shiver down his spine along with dread that felt like stone in his stomach.
"Obi-wan, it's not what you think-" Anakin pleaded. He could feel the jealous anger in his Master, he sensed that he had no idea what was really going on. How could he? She walked in like she owned the place. What other conclusions could he draw from that?
He felt his Master's eyes rove over him, studying him. He felt so naked under the man's gaze. A tickle of surprise trilled inside of him when Obi-wan raised a hand to softly trace around the bite mark he had left. When his Master crushed an indignant kiss on his lips rife with vehemence, Anakin felt a familiar warmth flood his chest.
Maybe Obi-wan didn't understand the situation, but he still loved him. Anakin could feel it in the man's jealous wanting, in the subdued anger that lay beneath the surface, held there by sheer will. When Obi-wan pulled back from his lips Anakin found himself breathless, and equally at loss for words.
"It seems you two have some things to talk about. I'll see you later, Anakin." Obi-wan said in a painfully neutral tone. It was meant to grate on Padme's nerves, and it had. His presence did that enough. If anyone hated Obi-wan, it was Padme.
"Master," Anakin called after him as he turned to leave. Obi-wan didn't bother to turn back and say goodbye as he left.
"I can't believe you." Padme said softly, her eyes full of hurt.
"Padme, you can't possibly understand-" Anakin started, but was quickly silenced.
"No, Anakin. I do. I understand better than you want me to. I understand what he did to you the last time he left. Do you remember who picked up the broken pieces and put you back together Ani?" She shouted angrily.
"I did! After everything he did to you, he just left you! And the moment you see him again, you just go running back? Really?" She said low, her narrow eyes judging.
"Do you have any respect for yourself at all?" She asked, her angry vehemence bleeding to sadness. "You're just going to give him what he wants and hope that he doesn't leave again." Padme said, looking at the bite mark on his shoulder with disgust.
"I have been with you through everything, Ani. You know I'm only telling you this because I care." She said, defeated.
Anakin knew she was being honest, but she had no way of understanding Obi-wan like he did. That didn't keep all of her words from hitting him hard, though. Even if they came from good intentions. Especially if they came from good intentions. And he knew they did.
Padme looked at him, saw the hurt in his eyes. Anakin drew his arms around himself, trying not to give in to the tears.
"Ani-" Padme started, turning starkly apologetic.
"I think you need to leave." Anakin said quietly.
"Ani I'm sorry," Padme begged, her eyes heavy.
Anakin turned towards his quarters, not waiting for her to leave. He knew she could show herself out. He slammed the door behind himself and collapsed onto his sleeper. It still smelled like Obi-wan. He could feel the man's presence lingering in the fabric, on his skin, on his lips. And his heart ached.
His heart ached because he was afraid that Padme was right.
