Chapter 24
The Queen of Hearts
Marian stood in front of her mirror, scissors in hand and tears in her eyes. Only two weeks ago, her beautiful and luxurious locks had been shorn. Her braid had caught on some of the unforgiving vines of the Impenetrable Forest, somehow tangling beyond help.
She knew it was ridiculous to mourn the loss of her long hair, but to Marian, it meant more than just beauty. With the honey waves reaching her waist, she was no longer a modern woman out of time; instead, she was a medieval woman who belonged. Now, when she looked at her reflection, she saw the naïve young woman she had been before coming to Camelot instead of the confident and talented healer she had become.
Gwaine was the one who had cut off her braid, his sword leaving the ends in a jagged mess. It wasn't his fault, of course, but she couldn't help the small feeling of irritation toward him for cutting it. If they had been on good terms, perhaps it would have been easier for her to get closure, but they were barely speaking to one another.
Marian raised the scissors to her hair and began to even out its length. When she was done, her hair was only a couple of inches above her shoulders. It was shorter now than it had been when she came to Camelot. Sighing in defeat, she laid the scissors on her dresser and pulled her hair back into a short ponytail, tying it with one of the ribbons Gwaine had given her years ago. She gave her head a small shake, satisfied that the hair would stay tied up, and then turned to leave her chamber. It was time for her to start her day.
Around lunchtime, Gaius asked her to fetch more clean cloth from the weaver in town to use as bandages. Cathryn Felton made them special for the physician, using the softest threads.
As Marian was carrying a large stack back to the physician's chambers, she saw Gwaine coming down the corridor toward her. She looked around quickly to find a detour, not wanting to face him just yet. When she turned, her foot caught on the stone floor, and she tripped, dropping the large stack of cloth. Embarrassed, Marian crouched down to gather them, parts of her hair falling from its tie and covering her eyes. She reached up and brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear as she saw black boots stop in front of her. She watched sadly as Gwaine knelt down and helped her gather the cloth.
His heart dropped to his stomach when he noticed her hair. It was shorter than he had ever seen it. He knew how much she had loved her long hair, and it saddened him to see that he had caused her grief. He wanted to reach out and run his hands through it; he wanted to reassure her that it didn't detract from her beauty, that it would grow back. When she caught him staring at her, he stood without a word, and held out his hand to help her up.
After she stood, he handed the stack of fabric back to her. She opened her mouth to thank him, but he had already started back on his way down the corridor. Marian turned and watched him leave. She guessed that they would feel awkward around one another for some time to come.
000
Marian was delivering potions to patients when she heard the news of Tyr Seward's arrest. The king's saddle had been tampered with, nearly killing him during an attack, and the only suspect was the gentle young man. Tyr had been Arthur's stablehand ever since he was a boy. He was sweet and simple, living with his mother in the lower town.
The healer was enraged when she heard that Gwaine had arrested him and taken him down to the dungeon. Promise to stay away or not, she sought out the knight to find out why Tyr was a suspect.
"You have some nerve!" she shouted when she saw Gwaine.
He was in the armory, changing out of his armor after a long and hard day. He turned to her, his eyebrows raised.
"I'm sorry?"
"You heard me!" Marian replied, walking over to him and standing so close he could smell her floral soap.
"I did, but I've no idea what you're talking about," he said, yanking his chainmail off over his head.
"Tyr is as simple as a child, Gwaine," she said forcefully. "Whatever he did, he was put up to it. He couldn't hurt a fly!"
"Ah, I see. You don't know the facts," he said, annoyed. He admired that she dared to stick up for people, but this wasn't the appropriate time to do so. The king's life was in danger.
"All I need to know, Sir Gwaine, is that Tyr would never try to hurt the king. He loves Arthur as much as you or I."
"Tyr was the only suspect. The thread used to tamper with the saddle was found in Tyr's home," he told her, removing his padded shirt and tunic.
His bare chest shined with sweat, momentarily distracting the healer as he picked up a towel and dried his skin. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and continued.
"Someone put it there, Gwaine. Tyr wouldn't hurt Arthur, and you know it!"
She stood there, eyes blazing and hands on her hips. Gwaine allowed himself a small grin. She was incredibly beautiful when she was angry.
"It's not my place to investigate, Marian. I do as the king commands," he said, turning to pick up his clean tunic and pulling it over his head. He wrapped his belt around his waist and buckled it.
"So you can arrest people, but not investigate if they're actually guilty or not? Do you not have a mind of your own?" she asked.
"I answer to the King of Camelot, not the healer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend."
Gwaine brushed past her and headed up to the council chamber. Everything Marian said was right, and that made Gwaine feel all the more guilty. But it was his duty to protect the king, from friend or foe alike. Though he was following orders, it didn't make her words sting any less.
000
That night, Merlin went down to the dungeon to bring Tyr some supper. The stablehand admitted to Merlin that he did see something in the stable the night before the attack. In fact, he saw who had sabotaged the king's saddle, but they had threatened the life of his mother if he told anyone. With this news, Merlin went straight to the king with this information, hoping that Tyr would be released.
Unfortunately for the stablehand, Gwen was also in the room when Merlin told Arthur about the threats. The queen, having been bewitched by Morgana at the Dark Tower, was the one trying to assassinate the king. Tyr had seen her in the stable tampering with Arthur's saddle, and she had told him that she would kill his mother if he told anyone. Fearing for his mother's life, Tyr kept quiet, willing to sacrifice his own life to save his mother.
After Arthur had gone to sleep, Gwen snuck down to the dungeon to confront the young stablehand. Sadly, Tyr was found dead in his cell the next morning, no one any the wiser to Gwen and Morgana's plot.
000
With the threat still on the loose, Arthur increased the security around the city. Gwaine was on patrol in the forest by the castle when he spotted two figures in the woods. He chased them, winding through the brush until he was pulled from his horse and slammed to the ground. When he regained consciousness, the rest of his patrol found him and brought him up to the castle. He sat at the table in the royal chambers, debriefing the king as Gaius examined his injured arm.
Merlin stood beside the king, listening as Gwaine told them what had happened. Marian stood beside Gaius, handing him supplies as needed, and watching the knight silently.
"No broken bones, I'm glad to say," Gaius said as he finished feeling the bones in Gwaine's arm.
"Anything else you remember?" Arthur asked his knight.
"Nothing. One minute I was pursuing them through the trees. The next, I was flat on the ground," Gwaine said as he stretched his arm and winced at the pain.
"You're sure it was sorcery?" Arthur asked.
Gwaine nodded. "Without a doubt. Powerful, too."
"Morgana?" Merlin asked him, leaning in closer.
Gwaine looked thoughtful. "It's possible. But why was she there?"
"Maybe she was meeting someone," Merlin shrugged.
"Why would she come so close to the citadel?" Arthur asked, shaking his head.
"Maybe she had to. Maybe whoever she was meeting was here in Camelot," Merlin theorized.
Gwaine glanced at Gaius and then up at Marian. He turned away when their eyes met.
"Well, until we have more to go on, this is idle speculation," Arthur said. "Gaius, Merlin, see what you can find in the woods. Perhaps there's something we overlooked."
"I'll go with them," Gwaine offered as he started to stand.
Gaius put a hand on his arm to stop him. "You'll do no such thing. You'll rest, Gwaine. Physician's orders."
"I'll go," Marian offered.
"No," Gwaine said shortly, looking up at Marian's outraged face. "It's too dangerous. You should stay in the citadel."
Arthur looked in amusement between Marian and Gwaine as they stared each other down. He knew from experience that it was useless to argue with the healer, she'd just go where she wanted anyway. The king was surprised when Marian didn't argue. Instead, she glared at the knight and then turned to clean up and repack Gaius's medicine bag.
"He's right, Marian," Gaius said softly. "You stay here in case anyone needs you."
Hot, angry tears fell down Marian's cheeks as she turned from the men. Once again, Gwaine was trying to control her. She didn't see how Gaius and Merlin would be any safer without her there. No, he was just trying to push her away and punish her for rejecting him. She wiped at her eyes and continued to put the bottles and bandages away.
Gaius and Arthur left as Merlin went to the other side of the table and sat down next to Gwaine.
"I don't think this is over," he said to the knight.
"What do you mean?" Gwaine asked, surprised.
"Well, whoever's responsible for the attack on Arthur's life, what's to stop them from trying again?"
Gwaine smiled and shook his head. "They haven't a chance, the citadel's on full alert. Every entrance, every exit is being watched. Trust me, Arthur's safe as long as he remains in Camelot."
"That's just it. What if he's not safe here? What if Camelot's the most dangerous place that he could be?" Merlin asked, not expecting an answer. "Who could have access to the stables? Who could have known the layout of the cells? Who knew that Tyr would do anything to protect his mother?" He looked pointedly at Gwaine. "You need to stay close to Arthur and do whatever you can to protect him."
Gwaine nodded. "You have my word on it, Merlin," he promised.
Merlin got up and left the room, leaving Gwaine and Marian alone. She finished packing everything in the medicine bag but pulled out a tincture. Walking over to the other side of the table, she grabbed the water jug and poured water into a cup. Gwaine watched her closely as she put a few drops of the tincture into the water and walked back over to him.
She slammed the cup down in front of the knight, splashing a little water onto the table. "That'll help with any pain," she bit out.
"Marian…" Gwaine sighed, fully aware that he had angered her.
Marian wouldn't look at him, instead turning her back on him. She wiped her eyes again and sniffed. She drew a shaky breath and turned to face him. Plastering an obviously fake smile on her face, she pointed to the cup. "It's not poison. It's just a willow bark tincture I made. It's double-strength, so it needed to be diluted."
Gwaine drank the water, feeling relief almost instantly. "Thank you," he said softly, setting the cup back down.
She gathered the tincture and placed it back into the bag. As she picked the bag up and headed to the door, Gwaine jumped from his seat and caught her by the arm.
"I'm just concerned for you, you know. Morgana is out there. I don't want you to get hurt," he admitted.
In any other circumstance, Marian might have been flattered that he worried about her. But at the moment, she was furious at being stifled.
"Do you remember when we traveled to Mercia together? When Sir Gromer wanted to take me as his wife?" she asked him.
Gwaine nodded, letting go of her and crossing his arms over his chest.
"What did you tell him that was most important to me?"
Gwaine looked away. He knew where she was going with this. "Sovereignty," he mumbled.
"Sovereignty," she repeated flatly.
"Marian, I'm not trying to make your decisions for you. I'm trying to protect you."
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I got pretty good at it before you came to Camelot," she retorted.
"Really?" he laughed bitterly.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Kidnapped by a jester ring a bell?"
Marian stood there, mouth agape.
"Captured by Morgana and tortured? Twice?" he continued, unaware of the tears forming in her eyes as he mentioned some of her more vulnerable moments.
"That's low, Gwaine."
"Stabbed at the Dark Tower and nearly dying?"
She slapped him across the face. Gwaine rubbed his sore cheek and glared at her.
"How dare you!" she hissed at him. "You've no idea what I've been through! How many times I've saved your fucking life! What coming here cost me! What loving you cost me!" Fresh angry tears rolled down her cheeks. "You're just like every other man in this time! Women are objects for you to own and control! Well, I've got news for you, Gwaine. No man will ever own me!" She turned back to the door and opened it. "Ever!" she yelled from the corridor.
He sighed and leaned back against the table as she stormed down the corridor. All he had wanted to do was keep her safe.
000
That night Merlin found the king unconscious at his table in the royal chambers. Arthur was pale, and his lips were a ghostly white. Merlin called for the guards to move the king to his bed and went to fetch Gaius and Marian. Upon hearing that the king was ill, the queen and the knights followed. Gaius sat down on the bed next to Arthur and examined him.
Arthur was sweaty, though his skin was cold, and his face was drawn. He looked like death.
"All the evidence suggests that the king has been poisoned," Gaius said to the room.
"You're certain, Gaius?" Gwen asked him.
"Quite certain," he replied. He pointed to Arthur's face. "The sweating, the corruption of the skin, the traces of tincture around the ear. They all point to the use of henbane."
"Is there no hope?" Gwen asked, her voice cracking. Marian startled at the tone in the queen's voice. She didn't sound sincere but almost giddy.
"The poison is a deadly one, my lady," Gaius said, shaking his head. "There may be a way to arrest its course, but I cannot guarantee it."
Marian looked over to Merlin beside her, guessing at his thoughts. Gwen did this, she was sure of it. She had been acting strange ever since Morgana had kidnapped her. Going on secret errands and avoiding her friends. Gwen was the only other person besides Merlin who would have had the chance to hurt Arthur, and Marian knew for a fact that Merlin wouldn't… couldn't hurt the king.
"One thing I know for certain," Gwen said, looking down at Arthur. "That whoever did this lives among us. Whoever did this has betrayed us all." She turned briefly to look at the knights behind her. "Someone who is free to roam the citadel as they please," her voice was high and sounded fake to Marian's ears. "Someone who has access to the king's stables, the king's prison, even the king's food." She gave a small whimper for effect. "There is only one I know of…" she trailed off as she turned around to face the young healers. "Merlin!" The queen furrowed her brow and frowned.
Sir Leon hesitated before giving the order to arrest Merlin. "Are you sure, my lady?" he asked softly.
Gwen nodded, her eyes swimming with fake tears.
Marian was in shock. She didn't move as Sir Elyan and Sir Mordred went to Merlin's side, grabbing his arms. She stared forward, not looking at anything as they took Merlin away. This was worse than she could imagine. If the queen turned on Merlin, then there was no chance. The knights were his friend, but first and foremost, they were loyal to the king and queen.
Gwaine approached her cautiously, his eyes wide in shock. When he reached out to touch her arm, she stared at him, unblinking, angry tears falling fast.
He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted when Percival came over to fetch him. The knights were still on duty and needed to keep watch for the assassin. Gwaine begrudgingly left Marian in the royal chamber and went with the other knights.
After everyone left, Marian turned to Gaius. "Gaius, keep watch. I'll heal the king," she said, walking over to the other side of the bed.
"You'll do no such thing!" Gaius yelled at her. Marian stared at him in confusion. "The effort will kill you!"
"So? Gaius, it's the king!"
"Absolutely not! You gave me your word after the Dark Tower that you'd never try that again!" Gaius yelled indignantly. Though he admired her selfless bravery, he wasn't about to let her kill herself if there was another way.
"Arthur will die if I don't!"
"Marian, we must find another way. I will not let you sacrifice your life," he said as he stood and began to push her from the room. "We will find a way to help Merlin escape. Only his magic will cure the king. Yours is too dangerous."
"Only to me," she scoffed.
"Exactly. Now go to my chambers and get the potion Merlin uses to reverse the aging spell. I have an idea," Gaius ordered her.
Cross, Marian turned and headed down to the physician's chambers. She was irritated that Gaius wouldn't let her help the king, but she supposed he did have a point. If she took the poison from Arthur's body, who's to say she would even survive. But then again, it was the king's life they were talking about, and Arthur was more important than she was.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she ran face-first into someone as she rounded a corner.
Gwaine reached out and grabbed her arms to keep her upright. "You alright?" he asked as he steadied her.
"Gwaine," she said timidly. Her feelings were still sore from their argument earlier that day, but she needed to tell him about Gwen. He was the only knight who would take her suspicions seriously. "Do you have a moment?" she asked him, her voice soft.
Gwaine was on his way to look for the assassin, but smiled and nodded for her to continue, feeling guilty about how they had argued earlier.
"I think I know who poisoned Arthur," she said in a low voice.
Gwaine's eyebrows rose, but he said nothing.
"Has Gwen seemed herself lately? Since the Dark Tower?" she asked.
Gwaine was sure he didn't hear her correctly. Surely she wasn't accusing the queen? "I'm sorry?"
"She's had access to all of the same places as Merlin. She had access to Arthur's food. She's been acting weird and distant. I think she was enchanted, Gwaine. I… I think Gwen is trying to kill Arthur."
"You can't go accusing the queen, Marian."
"Just open your eyes! Please, I came to you as a friend, hoping you'd listen to me. Surely you've noticed her strange behavior too?"
Gwaine's face became grave. Marian was flirting with treason. As much as it would hurt, he needed to get it through to her that she was on a dangerous path. Hurt feelings would be nothing compared to execution for treason.
"Marian, to you, I am nothing but a Knight of Camelot," he said coldly. "What you speak of is treason. Do not speak it again, or I will have to act."
He watched as her eyes widened with hurt. "You once said I meant more to you than anything. Even the king. I guess that was a lie, then," she said, her lip trembling. She pushed past him, knocking his shoulder with hers, and ran toward the physician's chambers.
Gwaine sighed as he watched her go. He wondered if they would ever get along again.
000
Marian had retrieved the potion Gaius asked for and helped the physician sneak it down to Merlin in the dungeon, hoping the warlock would understand. Merlin could disguise himself as an old man and escape long enough to save Arthur, returning before anyone even noticed he was gone. Gaius made his way back up to the royal chamber, but Marian decided she needed some fresh air to calm down.
Her latest disagreement with Gwaine had stung more than she cared to admit. She understood that he was duty-bound to arrest anyone committing treason, but surely he knew her better than that. And to say that he was only a knight to her as if the past five years of friendship meant nothing, broke her heart.
She walked out to the stone courtyard and looked up at the night sky, breathing in the cold night air. The Moon wasn't out, but the stars were glorious. Just as she was starting to relax, Gwaine, Mordred, and several guards burst out into the courtyard. Gwaine ran down the palace steps as Mordred ordered the guards to sound the alarm. There was an intruder in the citadel.
Marian grinned, knowing that it had to be Merlin. The bells chimed, and the knights and guards ran around in a panic. Marian started walking across the courtyard when she felt strong hands grab her arm and turn her roughly.
"Do you not hear the alarm bells, woman? Get inside!" Gwaine yelled at her.
He pulled her with him as he ran back up the steps and inside. He didn't let go when they reached the main corridor; instead, he led her up the stairs and toward the royal chambers. He looked back at her, his face infuriated.
"Gwaine, you're hurting me!" she called out to him as he dragged her behind him.
His grip loosened slightly, but not enough to let her escape. He suddenly stopped and backed her into a wall.
"You are entirely too reckless, Marian! What were you thinking?" he asked, gripping her shoulders and shaking her slightly.
Marian knew she was in no danger, that it was only Merlin, but Gwaine did not. She had frightened him with her indifference. Sovereignty be damned, he was going to make sure she stayed safe, whether she liked it or not. "You must be careful! There are assassins out!"
Marian couldn't help herself. She laughed.
"What's so damn funny?" Gwaine asked, enraged. The muscles in his face twitched as he clenched his jaw. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"
"Who the fuck would want to kill me?" she asked, still laughing. "I'm nothing, remember?" Marian quickly sobered, and her eyes flashed as she spoke. "Besides, why the hell should you even care what happens to me? To me, you're nothing but a Knight of Camelot."
Gwaine's nostrils flared as he glared at her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along the rest of the way to the royal chamber. His words had hurt her, he knew, but damn how it had hurt when she had thrown them back at him.
When they reached the door, he opened it and shoved her inside, finally letting her hand go. Startled by their entrance, Gwen quickly walked over to them.
"Are you all right?" Gwaine asked the queen.
"Yes," Gwen replied, confused.
"You haven't seen anything? Heard anything?" he asked her.
"Nothing. Why?"
"There's an intruder within our walls," Gwaine said, looking between the queen and Gaius.
"Here? In the citadel?" Gwen asked in disbelief. She knew of no plans to attack. Maybe this intruder wasn't one of Morgana's men.
Gwaine nodded. "Yes, my lady. We last saw them in the main square, then we lost sight of them," he said, looking at Marian. His nostrils flared again, and he frowned.
"My lady, you may be in danger," Gaius said. It was the perfect opportunity to get the queen away from Arthur. "Gwaine will take you to the guest chambers. He'll ensure no harm comes to you there."
"Why would anyone wish me harm?" she asked, laughing with the same indifference Marian had shown earlier.
"You're to be our leader, Gwen. You are Camelot's future. Do you imagine our enemies don't want you dead?" Gaius reasoned with her.
"I can't leave Arthur, not now," she protested, faking concern.
Gaius went up to her. "Gwen, I promise, if there is any change. I'll fetch you at once," he said calmly, urging her to go.
"Gaius is right," Gwaine said, beckoning the queen. "Come, my lady. You're not safe here." He turned to leave. Before he was out of the door, he turned back to Marian and pointed his finger at her. "Stay here with Gaius. Understood?" he ordered.
Marian childishly stuck her tongue out at him. Gwaine rolled his eyes at her and left.
"How on Earth did you get in here?" Gaius asked the curtains.
Marian's brow knitted at his odd behavior until Merlin peaked out from behind the cloth.
"Don't even ask," he said, wiping the sweat from his brow. He walked over to the bed and looked at the king. "How is he?"
"His heart is nearly stopped. I fear he's close to death," Gaius replied.
Merlin leaned over to Arthur and laid his hand on the king's chest.
"The sickness is so deep in him," he told them somberly. "I don't know if I have the power to bring him back."
"I can—"
"No, Marian," Gaius interrupted her. "You can do this, Merlin."
Merlin wiped his face and took a deep, calming breath. He placed both of his hands on Arthur's chest and began.
"Ic the thurhaele thinu licsar mid thamsundorcraeft thaere ealdan ae!" he bellowed, his voice deep and his eyes glowing.
He backed away and waited for Gaius to check. The physician felt Arthur's neck for a pulse and turned to look at Merlin, his face a picture of grief. Merlin and Marian both inhaled sharply, tears stinging their eyes. It had been too late. Merlin covered his mouth with one hand and pulled Marian to his side with the other.
Suddenly, the king's mouth moved, and his nose twitched.
"Gaius," Arthur mumbled as he turned to his side.
Merlin laughed through his tears as Marian gasped in shock. Gaius checked Arthur's vitals and turned back to them with a wide grin. The healers cried out in celebration, relieved that Arthur lived. Merlin embraced Marian, picking her up and spinning her around.
"Well done, Merlin!" the physician cried out as he hugged the young warlock. "Well done." Gaius smiled and looked back at the king. He was proud of his charge. Merlin was becoming even more powerful than Gaius had thought capable.
When he turned back to Merlin, his expression changed to one of concern. "You'd better get back to the cells before you're missed!"
Merlin's smile dropped. "There are guards on every floor and every stairwell. How can I get back down there?"
"Well, the same way you came up, obviously."
"Obviously," Merlin lamented, looking at the stones he had climbed to reach the window. He climbed back out of the window and down the wall, heading back to his cell.
The next morning, Gaius and Gwaine went down to the dungeon to release him. As Merlin went to see the king, Gwaine went to the physician's chambers to apologize to Marian. When he arrived, he saw that the room was empty. It was unlike Marian to be absent from work. Concerned, he went to her chamber and knocked timidly.
"Come in," she said, barely above a whisper.
When he opened the door, he saw Marian still in her nightdress, sitting on the windowsill and watching the courtyard below.
"What do you want, Sir Gwaine?" she asked, all traces of friendliness gone.
Gwaine closed his eyes and sighed. He had deserved that. "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday," he said.
"What for? You were just doing your duty to your king and queen," she replied coldly. "It's not like you hurt a friend, right?"
"Marian, it's not like that."
"Like what?" she asked as she jumped down from the sill and approached him. "It's not like we were ever really friends? Is that what you were going to say?" She got in his face and pointed her finger at his chest. "Because I've got news for you, bub, you were my best friend. You were the one person I could trust, and you threatened to turn me in for treason."
Gwaine flinched. It had been a bad move on his part. He knew he should have listened, and he had obviously hurt her with his callous remarks. Gwaine had no clue how to fix it or if their friendship could even be salvaged.
"Now, if you don't mind, I've been summoned to the council chamber and need to dress," she said as she motioned to the door.
"Marian, please. Let me make amends," he pleaded with her. He didn't think he could live, knowing he hurt her so deeply.
"Why? You want me to stay away from you, but you want to make amends for wounding what little there is left of my heart?" She crossed her arms. "Please, Sir Gwaine, tell me what I should do to make you happy."
His nostrils flared as his frustration grew. In all honesty, he was more cross with his own behavior than hers, but his temper wouldn't be reined in. "Fine. If that's how you want to leave things, then fine," he bit out. Gwaine turned and left her chamber, slamming the door behind him.
Hot, angry tears streamed down Marian's face as she dressed. She didn't think anything could repair their friendship.
000
When Marian reached the council chamber, the council members and knights stood to the side. A baleful looking man was standing before the throne, wringing his hands as he waited. She took her place next to Gaius and waited for the king to come in. When she looked up, she saw Gwaine standing across the chamber from her, staring in her direction. She refused to meet his eye and looked anywhere but at him.
Gaius noticed her strange behavior. "You alright, Marian?" he asked quietly.
"Perfectly well, Gaius. Thank you," she responded.
Gaius raised his eyebrows at her short answer. He wasn't born yesterday, he could feel the tension between her and Gwaine. He was about to mention it when the door opened, and the king and queen came in, followed by Merlin.
When he reached the throne, Arthur turned and took a couple of small vials from his pocket.
"The queen found these vials in my chambers," he said, holding the vials up for everyone to see. "They bear, as you can see, a distinctive mark. Thanks to her tireless effort, she has been able to trace them."
Merlin started. There hadn't been any vials in the royal chambers the day before. He suspected Gwen had put them there. Like Marian, he believed that Gwen was the culprit.
Arthur walked up to the man before him and showed the vials to him. "This is your mark, is it not?"
"It is my mark, yes," the man said nervously.
"And what does this vial contain?" the king asked, showing the man one of the vials.
"It… it's valerian, sire."
Arthur looked around the room, making sure everyone could hear him. "What does it do?"
"It renders the subject unconscious."
"This one?" Arthur asked, holding up the other vial.
The man gulped. "Henbane. It's poison, my lord."
"A lethal poison. And it is only thanks to the great skill of my physician that I am still alive."
"I'm sorry, my lord. I… I supplied it," the man sputtered. "I must confess. But I did not know that it was intended for you. In truth, I was… erm… was too afraid to ask."
The king gave the man a hard look. "Too afraid to ask who?"
"She who procured it."
"And did you recognize this woman?" Arthur asked, afraid of the answer.
"Well, I cannot say for certain, but I believed it to be Morgana Pendragon," the man admitted. Gasps rang out in the chamber, and Arthur nodded to his guards to take the man away. It was as he feared. Morgana had found a way to get into the castle. Whether it was actually her or her agent, the king couldn't guess.
He walked back to the throne and took Gwen's hand, leading her to the middle of the chamber. "Because of the queen's diligence, the truth has been uncovered. Each and every one of us owes her a great debt. Long live the queen!"
The council members and the knights joined in unison, "Long live the queen! Long live the queen!"
As they continued their chant, Gwen spun around slowly, grinning smugly and enjoying the praise.
Gwaine looked up at Marian as he continued to chant with the rest. She was silent, staring at Gwen as the queen turned. She looked anxious, her eyes wide and her mouth set in a tight line. He would have thought she would rejoice that her friend had found the assassin and that Merlin had been set free. Instead, she looked troubled. He wondered if there had been any truth in her accusations the day before. Was the queen trying to kill her husband?
000
Several weeks later, Gwen awoke in the middle of the night to sneak out of the castle and meet with Morgana. Nearly caught by Percival, she convinced him that she merely liked to walk around the lower town to remember her past. Once Percival and his patrol were out of sight, Gwen continued her way down to the Darkling Woods to meet with the witch.
Unbeknownst to the queen, Merlin and Arthur had been alerted and were following her. Seeing his wife conspire with his mortal enemy nearly undid the king. He was calmed only by Merlin, who had promised that they would find a way to lift the enchantment that was holding the queen prisoner.
After a trip to visit a malicious magical creature called the Dochraid for help, Merlin told Gaius that they would need to take Gwen to the Cauldron of Arianrhod to summon the Triple Goddess. Only the waters of the Cauldron would free the queen from Morgana's spell.
It would take them several days to get there, so Gaius and Marian concocted a belladonna tincture to knock the queen out and keep her unconscious during their journey.
Merlin convinced the king that his plan was sound, and they left the next morning. Merlin forbade Marian from coming, saying that she would only get in the way. In truth, after she nearly died at the Dark Tower, he had been leery of her going on any of his adventures. Almost losing her scared him so much that he'd rather her be angry with him for not letting her go than if she went and was injured or worse. He didn't have any time to explain this to her, so he hoped she would understand after he returned.
000
It was evening, suppertime, to be exact. And it was Marian's birthday. In the past, Merlin, Gwaine, and the other knights had taken her to the Rising Sun Tavern to celebrate. This year, however, there was no such celebration. Merlin had gone to the Cauldron of Arianrhod with Arthur and had been gone several days already. Though she had wished he would be back in time, he was still gone, and she was alone.
And then there was Gwaine. After the Dark Tower incident, he had asked her to stay away. They, or rather she had decided that they could be nothing more than friends, and in his heartbreak, Gwaine told her that he couldn't be around her anymore. Marian promised she would stay away from him, and unfortunately, that meant that she had to see less of the other knights as well. Besides, with the arguments they had been having lately, she didn't think Gwaine would want to be around her anyway.
Gaius had asked her if she had plans for the evening, knowing that it was her birthday and that Merlin wasn't around. Birthdays were tough for her since it was the anniversary of her young brother's death. Gaius knew this and would have made her a special dinner, just a little something to take the sting out of missing her friends, but Marian had lied to him. Not wanting him to go to any trouble, and to save herself the embarrassment of telling him that she and Gwaine were no longer friends, Marian told him that she would have her supper with the knights in the tavern.
So, Marian was hiding in her chamber, alone and depressed. She sat on the windowsill, looking out at the night sky. It was overcast that evening, so even the comfort of the Moon and stars were hidden from her. She picked at the plate of food she had nicked from the kitchen, remembering birthdays past.
A year ago to the day, Marian sat in the tavern, accompanied by Merlin, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Elyan. As in previous years, they gathered around a long table in the middle of the room, drinking ale and singing songs. She had taught them one of her favorite drinking songs Beer, Beer, Beer. The lyrics were easy to remember, and by the second verse, the entire tavern joined in the chorus.
After several rounds of ale and even more renditions of Beer, Beer, Beer, Marian decided that it was time to retire for the night. She'd had a wonderful time with her friends, but she didn't want to get so drunk that she couldn't remember the evening the next day. Merlin wanted to stay and learn the dice game from Elyan, so Gwaine had quickly volunteered to walk back to the citadel with her.
"Happy birthday, Marian!" Leon said while clapping her on the back. "I've had a great time!"
"Yeah, it's been fun!" Elyan agreed, hugging her.
"Oof! Percival!" Marian exclaimed as she was lifted from the ground and spun in a circle.
"Happy birthday, little healer!" the large knight laughed.
After he set her back on her feet, Merlin came up to her and embraced her. "You've had fun, yeah?" he asked.
"Oh yes, thank you, Merlin! As always, it's been a blast!" She leaned in close to his ear and whispered a little too loudly. "Don't let Elyan take all your money at dice, though."
Merlin laughed with her. "Not a chance," he said, winking.
She and Gwaine bade their goodbyes and left the tavern. He held her hand as they walked through the town and back to the castle.
"Look at the Moon, Gwaine! She's out in full force tonight!"
He looked up at the full moon. It lit the sky almost as well as the Sun. Marian dropped his hand and ran forward, twirling and laughing.
"Hello, Moon!" she called out drunkenly.
Gwaine laughed. These were the moments he cherished most, when Marian felt free and happy. And when she paid him more attention than to anyone else.
She stopped twirling and waited for the knight to catch up. He took her hand again, fingers entwined, and slightly swinging their arms as they continued their walk. As they climbed the palace steps and walked up to her chamber, they sang her drinking song, seeing which one of them could sing the loudest.
When they reached her chamber, Gwaine opened the door for her and then followed her in.
"He might have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king, and to his praises, we shall always sing! And look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer! Our Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented BEER, BEER, BEER! TIDDLY BEER, BEER, BEER!" they bellowed in unison as Gwaine closed the door behind him.
Marian laughed breathlessly as she drunkenly stumbled around to find her flint and steel so she could light a small fire in the fireplace. After the fire was lit, she went around the room, lighting candles, hoping that she didn't accidentally burn the place down.
"Gwaine, this has been the best birthday!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly at him.
She wobbled in front of him, reaching out to catch his arm so she wouldn't fall. Her features glowed in the warm candlelight. His breath caught in his throat as he gazed at her. She was entirely too beautiful. She was almost ethereal with her light movements and soft laugh. He reached out and gathered her in his arms, embracing her tightly.
"I'm glad, beautiful. If anyone deserves it, it's you," he said, kissing the top of her head.
She sighed in contentment, wrapping her arms around his torso, returning his embrace.
"I don't want this night to ever end. In all my days to come, I'll remember that this was when I was happiest," she told him.
"Me too, love. Me too," he said, smiling. "Oh! I've almost forgotten. I have a present for you!"
Marian pulled back, stepping out of his arms. "But Gwaine, the tavern was plenty! You didn't have to do anything else!" she protested.
With his hand in his pocket, Gwaine raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, if you don't want it…" he teased as he pretended to put the gift back.
She quickly retracted her previous statement. "No! No, I do, I just…" She scrunched up her face. "You know, I think I'm a little drunk."
Gwaine snickered at her. "If you insist, then I guess you can have it," he said, pulling a small cloth from his jacket pocket. He placed the bundle in her hands and stepped back so he could see her face as she opened it.
Marian opened the bundle and gasped. In the cloth, there was a silver necklace. The pendant was in the shape of a Celtic knot, with a beautiful clear emerald set in the middle. Her mouth fell open in surprise. It was too much, too expensive for her.
"Gwaine…" she said breathlessly. "I… I don't know what to say…"
He looked at her with worry on his face. "Do you like it?" he asked, afraid that he might have picked out the wrong thing.
"Gwaine, I love it! It's beautiful!" Truth be told, she would have loved anything that he had given her.
He smiled brightly at her and reached out to touch her cheek. "Not as beautiful as you, Marian," he said lovingly.
He led her over to the small mirror that hung on her wall and turned her toward it. She watched her reflection as he gathered her loose hair, holding it in a large pile above the nape of her neck, and pulled her hand up to hold it. Gwaine picked up the necklace and brought it in front of her, the pendant resting just above her cleavage and the chain threading around her neck. He clasped it at the back, his fingers lingering on her cool skin.
Marian dropped her hair and gingerly fingered the pendant, smiling at him in the mirror. It was the most beautiful gift she had ever received in her life. It made her feel comely and exquisite. It made her feel loved.
Gwaine kissed the side of her head, and then bent lower, placing a light kiss on the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder.
"It matches your eyes," he said, nodding at her. "My fair healer with the emerald eyes. My Marian." Gwaine's eyes widened slightly as he realized what he'd said. "You know, beautiful, I think I'm a little bit drunk too!" he laughed.
She laughed with him, blushing at his words.
"Oh!" Marian jumped suddenly. "I have something for you as well!"
She rushed over to her chest of drawers and dug into the top drawer. Pulling a long object covered in cloth out, she turned and handed it to him, smiling cheekily at him as he opened it.
Gwaine looked at the gift and then back up to her. "Marian… how?" he asked in disbelief.
In the cloth was the finest dagger he had ever seen. He pulled the weapon from its scabbard and examined it. It was beautifully ornate, the ebony scabbard had a mother-of-pearl inlay in the shape of a dragon. The hilt was covered in deep brown leather strips, suitable for gripping, and the blade was shiny steel and razor-sharp on both sides. Gwaine balanced the blade on the tips of his fingers. It was perfect.
"You like it?" she asked, biting her lower lip.
"I do, but you shouldn't have spent your money on this, Marian. Not on me," he said as he turned it over in his hand and gave it a little twirl. A dagger this exquisite would have cost a fortune.
"Well, I'd been saving up for a while, and I couldn't pass it up," she said as he continued to study his new weapon. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Gwaine. I wanted to do something special for you to thank you."
The knight stopped what he was doing and sheathed the blade. He slipped it into his jacket pocket, walking closer to her. Hooking his finger beneath her chin, he lifted her face toward him, his thumb caressing her skin as he leaned close.
"You needn't thank me, beautiful. Your company is its own reward," he said softly.
Gwaine bent forward and placed his lips on hers. Moving languidly, he kissed her thoroughly. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held onto her waist, pulling her against his body. They kissed for several minutes, their tongues gently touching and caressing, tasting each other before pulling back. Still holding her close, he gazed into her green eyes and smiled contentedly, affectionately nuzzling the tip of his nose against her.
"Happy birthday, Marian."
Marian's thumb caressed the jewel that was set in the middle of her necklace. She looked down at the Celtic knot and smiled as wistful tears fell freely. I love you. I'm so sorry. Sniffing, she laid the necklace down on the windowsill next to her uneaten supper and jumped down to the floor. Changing into her nightdress, she prepared for what she was sure to be a fitful sleep.
000
Gwaine and Elyan pulled guard duty for the night. They walked the corridors, looking and listening for anything out of place. The overcast evening had turned into a stormy night, so the men were extra vigilant. They started down the main corridor leading to the wing of royal bedchambers when a loud clap of thunder roared outside. The wind picked up and blew one of the windows open, extinguishing the torches hanging in the corridor and throwing the knights into darkness.
"I'll go back and get another torch," Elyan offered as Gwaine closed the window, latching it tightly.
As Elyan turned to retrace his steps, lightning flashed, and the knight saw a ghostly figure at the end of the corridor. He froze, holding his breath. Another flash gave him a glimpse of the figure, a woman with fair hair and skin, dressed in white.
"Gwaine…" Elyan called to his fellow knight. "There's someone down there."
Gwaine turned to look down the corridor. Flashes of lightning outside gave the men brief glimpses of the woman as she ambled toward them. Heart beating fast, Gwaine's adrenaline flowed freely when the ghostly figure appeared to have moved closer. He narrowed his eyes to try to get a better look and was startled when he recognized her.
"Marian?" he asked.
The healer didn't acknowledge him; instead, she continued to walk noiselessly to them. She was dressed in a thin nightdress, her feet were bare, and her hair hung loosely. In the light of the storm, she did indeed look like a ghost as she glided down the corridor.
As she stopped in front of the knights, Elyan quickly fetched a lit torch and brought it back to relight that part of the corridor. As they got a better look at her, they saw that Marian's face was wet with tears.
"Marian, are you alright?" Gwaine asked, worried.
She looked at him with unseeing eyes. "Please," she whispered. "You can do what you like with me, just don't harm him."
Gwaine and Elyan looked at each other in confusion. "Harm who?" Gwaine asked.
"Please don't let Gwaine die. I love him," she pleaded. "Let me save him."
Surprised at her words, Gwaine reached out to touch her, but having caught on to what was happening, Elyan stayed his hands.
"Don't!" the other knight commanded. When Gwaine looked at him curiously, he explained. "She's asleep."
Gwaine looked back to Marian in disbelief. Her eyes were open, and she was walking and talking.
"You cannot awaken sleepwalkers, Gwaine. They must wake on their own, or they will die," Elyan said knowingly.
"Bollocks!" Gwaine scoffed.
"No, I've heard many stories of people who died while walking in their sleep. She must be taken back to her bedchamber and allowed to finish her sleep."
"Gwaine, no!" she yelled, startling the knights. Her eyes rolled back and her legs gave way beneath her. Gwaine quickly caught her before she hit the floor and picked her up in his arms.
"Alright, I'll take her. We'll meet back on the next floor?" he suggested. Elyan nodded and left.
He wasn't sure if he believed Elyan's claims, but he guessed anything was possible. Unwilling to take a chance with her life, Gwaine gently carried Marian back down the corridor and to her chamber.
Once inside, he laid her on her bed and tucked her in, careful not to wake her. As he was turning to leave, the windowsill caught his eye. He walked over and saw that there was a plate of untouched food sitting on the sill next to the emerald necklace he had given her for her birthday the previous year.
His brow knitted as he wondered why such a valuable item would be left out next to the window. That was when it hit him. Today was her birthday. Neither Merlin nor Gwen were in Camelot, and as far as he knew, none of the knights were down at the tavern this night.
His heart dropped. He looked at the sleeping woman in her bed. Her eyes were closed, but her face was anything but relaxed. She whimpered slightly, her brow furrowing in her sleep. She quickly turned on her side, pulling her blanket up under her chin.
Marian had spent her birthday alone in her chamber. He knew how important it had been to her to spend the day with friends, how she would otherwise fall into depression and grief over her brother's death. It had been their tradition every year to keep her mind on happier memories.
It was his fault. He had asked her to give him space, and she had agreed. She even went so far as to avoid the other knights, her friends. It was with a quiet resignation that she did as he had asked.
Gwaine went to her bedside and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. Though they weren't speaking, he would have to find some way to make it up to her. Despite their recent rows, he still loved her deeply.
000
Marian awoke late in the morning. She turned on her side and was surprised by a small bouquet of wildflowers sitting in a cup on the table next to her bed. With no indication of who left them there, she sat up, confused by their presence.
She quickly dressed and headed to the physician's chambers. She had broken off a couple of the blossoms from her bouquet and tucked them into her hair.
"Gaius," she said as she entered the room. "Did you leave me flowers last night?"
The older man looked up from his potion and shook his head. "I did not," he answered.
"Maybe it was Merlin?" she asked.
"No, Merlin has yet to return with the king."
"Oh," she said. There was only one other person who would know that the wildflowers at the edge of the forest were her favorite.
"It… It must have been Gwaine, then."
"You don't know?" Gaius asked her.
"I was asleep. Strange, don't you think?"
"I should think it wouldn't be a mystery, Marian. You and Gwaine love each other," Gaius said. He didn't understand why she thought Gwaine leaving her flowers for her birthday was strange. Regardless of any arguments they'd had, the knight was clearly in love with her.
Marian's face fell. She hadn't told him that they were no longer on speaking terms. When she hastily looked away, Gaius set his work down and approached her.
"What is it, dear girl?"
Marian sat heavily on the bench and told the physician everything.
000
Gwaine was having trouble sleeping during the day. He wasn't used to overnight guard duty, so he headed to see Gaius for a sleeping draft. As he approached the physician's chambers, he heard voices inside. When he heard his name spoken, he stood outside the door to listen.
"Surely you don't think Gwaine would wish you unhappy?" he heard Gaius ask.
"No, of course not," Marian said. "But it's the least I deserve. I broke his heart and, in turn, broke my own. This pain is of my own making, and I deserve it."
"No one deserves heartbreak, Marian. Besides, you may one day fall in love again."
"No, I won't, Gaius. In all of my years, he's the only one I've ever… If I was to live the rest of my life with anyone, it would have been him. Even if I go back home, I'd be alone until I die. I… I love him, Gaius. Gwaine is the only one for me and I ruined everything," Marian said wretchedly. "I wish I'd never come to Camelot!" she exclaimed as she rested her brow on the tabletop and covered her head with her arms.
Gwaine felt a pang in his heart. It felt as if it was shattering all over again. Once again, she confirmed that she loved him, but couldn't be with him. He just didn't understand why.
"So, you believe the flowers are from Gwaine?" Gaius asked, patting her back soothingly.
"I do. No one else would know the way to mend the ache in my heart. I just wish I could thank him, but it's too painful for him. I promised that I'd stay away from him." She looked at the physician sheepishly. "Plus, we've been fighting. A lot. I doubt he'd even want to see me," she admitted.
Gwaine sighed. He couldn't see a way to fix things between them. He missed her terribly, but it was too hard being around her.
"Gwaine? You alright?" Merlin asked from behind the knight, startling him. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"
Gaius and Marian stopped talking when they heard Merlin. The knight and the warlock stepped into the chamber, Gwaine looking guilty. Marian's eyes went wide as she reddened. How long had Gwaine been outside of the door? How much had he heard? By the way he avoided looking at her, she guessed that he had heard everything.
"Merlin, good to have you back," Gaius said calmly as they came in. "Gwaine, what can I do for you?"
Gwaine glanced over to Marian briefly. When their eyes met, she looked away quickly.
"Excuse me," she said as she stood. "I'm needed… I have to… herbs."
Gwaine watched her downheartedly as she fled. He saw the flowers he had given her in her hair and closed his eyes, sighing. "I need something to help me sleep…"
000
Gwen came back from the Cauldron of Arianrhod with her mind and spirit released from Morgana's spell. The first thing she did was seek out those she hurt most to apologize. The first person she found was Tyr Seward's mother. Though she was still grieving her son, Gelda Seward was gracious enough to welcome the queen into her humble home. Gwen cried with the older woman, explaining what had happened, but never excusing it. Gelda hugged the queen, forgiving her for her part in Tyr's death.
Next, Gwen went to Marian's chamber to find the woman eating her supper alone. Thankful that the queen was no longer enchanted, Marian embraced her friend tightly.
"I'm so sorry for everything I did, Marian," Gwen said as she pulled back.
"Gwen, it wasn't you. It wasn't your fault," Marian told her, gesturing for the queen to sit on the bed.
"No," Gwen said as she sat next to the healer. "I tried to leave you for dead after the Dark Tower. I lied to get Arthur and the knights to abandon you. I'm just thankful it didn't work," she said, smiling sadly.
"It's okay, Gwen," Marian said, smiling back at her. She placed her hand on Gwen's and squeezed consolingly.
"And I never got the chance to properly thank you for saving my brother," Gwen said, her tone more upbeat.
"You don't need to thank me. I care for Elyan as much as I care for you. For all the knights."
"And Gwaine?" Gwen asked, knowing the conflicted feelings her friend had for the roguish knight.
"That's… complicated," Marian said, looking away.
"Does he know?"
"That I love him? Yes."
"No," Gwen chuckled. "About your magic?"
"No, he doesn't," Marian sniffed. "That's why I can't be with him. He can't know, Gwen. No one can."
"Your secret is safe," Gwen assured the healer. "But might I advise that you confide in him? Gwaine loves you deeply, Marian. He will understand."
"There's more to it than just that, though," Marian hesitated. She figured if she could trust her friend with one secret, she could trust her with another. "I… Gwen, what I'm about to tell you, only Gaius and Merlin know. You're not going to believe me, but you have to trust me."
"I trust you, Marian. You're my dearest friend," Gwen said, urging her to continue.
"I didn't come to Camelot on a boat. I was brought here against my will by magic. By Nimueh."
Gwen was surprised. She'd heard that name before, many years ago. "The sorceress?"
Marian nodded. "And the spell that brought me here isn't permanent. It can reverse without warning, not that I even want it to. I want to stay here, but someday I'll be pulled back home, and home is so, so far away," she explained.
"I see," Gwen nodded. "So, this is why you won't get close to Gwaine, despite your heart yearning for him?"
"I've already gotten too close, I'm afraid," Marian sighed. "But yes, what if we were together, what if we married and had children? What would he think if the spell reversed and I disappeared? He would never be able to follow me, and I'd be lost to him forever."
"You could warn him of the possibility—"
"No, I can't," Marian interrupted. "I can't resist him, Gwen. He would easily convince me it was worth the risk and that we should be together. No, he should forget about me and move on."
Gwen laughed. "I don't think that will ever happen, Marian. I've never seen a man so devoted."
"I have to try to protect his heart, Gwen. It would hurt him more to be with me if I disappear than if I gave him a clean break."
Gwen nodded. "I understand," she said, smiling softly.
Though she didn't agree with it, she understood what Marian was trying to do. She hoped that someday they could find a way to get around this spell. She wanted to see her friends happy.
000
Author's Note:
Spells (a rough translation from the Merlin Wiki at merlin dot fandom dot com):
Ic the thurhaele thinu licsar mid thamsundorcraeft thaere ealdan ae! - I heal you thoroughly from your mortal wound with those special powers that are ancient! Oh!
