Hey everybody,
I'm sorry for being gone so long, again. I've been severely sick (no, no corona) and after I recovered I had to clean up the mess in my job, that happened while I was gone.
But now I'm back and because all my other writing projects are done for the moment, I've decided to not start anything new, but concentrate on finishing this here (after years).
So, be patient with me, but we almost made it ;-)
Chapter 27
"Well done, Sir, well done. Geez, this is impressive."
Briareos placed his heavy foot back on the ground and folded his bulky arms. He didn't agree with Dr. Wilder, who gave him the honor today to show up himself; Briareos wasn't impressed at all. The sweat running down his artificial skin was a constant reminder that he was far away from where he needed to be, and that this body was just as far away from being actually human.
He had just finished a sports test, that wasn't even comparable to the ones, the newbies had to take when they wanted to join the ESWAT. He had passed it, but he was far from being where he should be. He had still a lot of trouble with his artificial brain and with the newer features, not even talking about fine motor skills or simple things like handling weapons or fighting. Although his human brain knew just too well how fighting worked, there was no muscle memory to support him. It would take him countless hours to regain it.
He was able to make this lumpish body move, was able to use its basic functions, but that was about it.
Oh, right, and he forgot. A few weeks ago, his condition had been declared as stable. He still had to take medicine to make sure what little was left of his original body wouldn't start rejecting the whole implant being his new body, but otherwise he was considered to be on the mend.
Today he was allowed to leave, finally, but he knew it wasn't that simple, because not only was Dr. Wilder present to observe his progress, next to him stood a redheaded woman and a younger blonde, looking she had just passed puberty.
"Athena Areios, pleasure to meet you, I'm Olympus' Inspector General and this here is Nike, my assistant for now," the older lady greeted him as they entered the test room and offered him her hand.
"I better not take that," he mentioned and tilted his head, "my motoric skills are still lacking, I might accidently break it."
He was well aware why that lady wanted to talk to him – although he had no idea why she brought a child along, but it kind of reminded him of himself and Deunan – and he knew that she wouldn't like his answer. The name sounded somewhat familiar, but he couldn't quite grasp it. He had probably picked it up somewhere over the news or from some article.
"I heard your progress is phenomenal," she said with a friendly smile, while the girl next to her didn't even move, "the first human to successfully survive a complete artificial body transplant and coexisting with the Hecatonchires system and yet you seem like this is just another day for you."
"Well, it is just another day, isn't it?"
He wasn't sure, what she was expecting of him. Of course, this body had been and still was a freaking challenge, whenever a new feature of his system was unlocked, he felt like he had to start all over once again. There were days when his artificial brain wasn't working the way it should – he remembered very well the day the system had decided that his actual heart beat had to be an error and had tried to defibrillate him like thirty times in a row, before Prum had been able to shut it down – and there were days disruptions made life difficult, but he didn't care. All he cared about was finally getting the go to leave this hospital and to search for Deunan himself.
Matsumoto had entrusted her military friends to look out for Deunan about ten weeks ago and there was still no sign of her survival, but Briareos didn't falter, didn't doubt for one moment, because he knew that this would break him.
If he'd let that silent whisper into his mind, everything would crumble, the only way he could survive his current situation was by believing that it was worth it.
"I heard you were a soldier from the LAPD SWAT, is that correct?"
He nodded warily, just because these people had been taking care of him for several months by now didn't mean he trusted them further than he could shoot. He had given Matsumoto some private information, but he had been very careful in choosing what to share and what not. So far nobody had asked him anything about his work, his mission, the reason he had been in Mayaba or whatever, but he had known that they would sooner or later.
"And I heard you had some of my operatives looking for Carl Knute?"
This time he didn't respond at all.
"May I ask what your relationship towards Carl Knute is?" She asked and now he noted it. This woman was verifying him and suddenly it made click. He remembered a conversation almost twenty years ago, a few months before Deunan was born, his first time meeting Gilliam, Carl's wife. He remembered that conversation, she had been working on something with technology and science… and bioroids and one of them had been called Athena.
This woman in front of him had been friends with Gilliam Knute, and if he wasn't mistaken, she had even met Carl several times, before his wife had been killed and maybe even afterwards, when he had claimed to be on a special mission in Scandinavia and hadn't returned on time.
"You want to verify if I'm truly the man I claim to be," he rephrased her question. "You want to know if I'm indeed Briareos."
A subtle smile crossed her face.
"Well, at least you seem to have his intellect."
"We have never met; how would you know?"
"This is correct, but I've heard a lot about the infamous Major General Man. Unfortunately, the security footage we have from you, only seconds before the explosion, gives us not enough material for a face-check and as we have no DNA or other data from Carl's secret weapon we cannot compare. And he has been announced dead, so I have no other choice but to confirm your identity myself."
"You believe you can determine whether I'm telling the truth although you have never met me and haven't seen Carl for like a decade? Excuse me for being skeptical."
"It's fine, all I need after all is one question to determine if you're telling the truth or not."
Oh, that surprised him. With one question she wanted to decide over his fate? This sounded interesting, like a real challenge. He wondered what would happen if she came to the conclusion that he was not who he claimed to be. He wondered if this body could already fight the way he wanted.
"How old were you, when you decided that you were strong enough? Strong enough to not be weak anymore?"
Her voice was cold, not showing a single emotion, but he remembered that question from ten years ago and he wondered how and why she knew the exact words from that question.
He remembered how Carl had told him about Deunan, how he had been scared about her, because he had seen her as weak, just because he had not been able to see her with Briareos' eyes.
"Five. That was the time I killed my brother," he answered plain with the exact words he had said back then, wondering why Carl had chosen such a delicate information to be a security question.
She nodded.
"Fine, I believe you and as a sign that you can also trust me, he told me to ask you, if I could challenge you and your beloved Davina to a race. Whatever that means."
"Do you know what Davina is?" He asked, tilting his head to the other side.
The lady in front of him just shrugged her shoulders.
"Apparently a piece of freedom."
Damn it, apparently, he had to trust her. Carl had made sure that Briareos had to.
With a wave of his hand he approved.
"Well, now that that's settled, I have a serious proposal for you, Briareos. As you are aware, the United States have fallen, there is no home for you to return to, Carl has been declared dead, there is nowhere for you to go, nothing for you left to do. This is the very reason I came. As you might not know, Carl and Gilliam Knute have been great supporters of Olympus and helped us to grow to a real nation. This is the reason why I want to offer you to immigrate. For a man like you there is always work and we have the best medical and engineering supply to support you."
He knew that his answer was 'no', because he still had something left to do. He still had a duty.
"Of course, you don't need to answer right now. I'm well aware, I just want you to take it into consideration. If you were part of Olympus, we could assist you in multiple ways, especially considering technology but of course not limited to that. I know what potential Carl saw in you and it would be a shame to let that go to waste. But of course, I will not urge you into anything. You're a free man, Olympus' doctors and engineers didn't save you for this reason, so don't feel pressured. You owe us nothing."
She bowed slightly, before nodding towards the girl by her side.
"You may give it to him now."
The blonde with those huge blue eyes nodded and stepped forward.
"After hearing that you were looking for information about Carl Knute, I initiated an investigation about his whereabouts." She didn't sound like a child, more like an operative, suddenly Briareos felt reminded of himself as a kid. "Unfortunately, his death has been confirmed and all I can offer you is this."
Up until now she had her hands hidden behind her back, now she moved them in front, showing a small metal box.
"It was in a safe in his office at the base and has your name engraved in it. We have not opened it, so I cannot tell you what awaits you."
Carefully he regarded the metal box, looking vanishingly small in his bulky hands. For a moment he didn't do anything but stare the silver box. Forgetting the other people present and forgetting any manners he once had been taught.
All he could actually think about was Carl. The smiling Carl, mocking him about his lacking social skills; the foolish Carl, worrying over growing some beard while the world was at the brink of war; the cold Carl, not able to show his love towards the daughter he would give his life for; the brooding Carl, spending hours over a single paper, forgetting the most basic human needs; the strongminded Carl, leading heated discussions and not backing down one single step as long as he was certain that he was right; the real Carl, only Briareos knew, the one below all that, the simple man, who fought for peace and freedom, who had never been awed by anything, the one who had taken him in and gave him a life worth living.
And now he was dead.
He didn't even respond when Athena, Nika, and Dr. Wilder excused themselves and left him alone in this empty room.
Briareos had never been afraid of death, but oh how it hurt, how painful it was.
In elegant lines his name was engraved on top of it; wasn't it fitting that all Carl had left for him was caged into metal just like all that was left of Briareos?
It didn't surprise him at all that Carl had left something behind, of course he had been prepared for whatever would have happened. However, it did surprise Briareos that he actually had been the one to receive something, something especially made for him…
He stumbled back and sank to his knees, grief engulfing him. Up until now he had been able to keep his emotions at bay, had been able to concentrate on purely becoming healthy again and learning how to work with his new body. Up until now neither the constant worry, nor the loss of his own body had been able to break him.
But now all he wanted was to open that box. No, that wasn't true, all he really wanted right now was not some stupid metal box, he wanted that damn door to open and Carl walking in, lecturing Deunan by his side about being to careless once again, only to be silenced by Aaron, mentioning that it was against the rules for family members to work together and that Deunan wasn't Carl's subordinate. He wanted to see Deunan smirking at her father and trying to slip out of his reach, only to rush against Nathaniel, who would catch her and tell her not to pick on her father, laughing with this inhumanly wide smile, before greeting Briareos with one of those inappropriate joyful hugs.
All Briareos really wanted right now was to embrace those people dear to him, holding them in his arms, feeling their body heat against his own, skin touching skin. He wanted to frame Deunan's face with his hands, ruffle her silky hair with his fingers, kiss her with his lips.
His body hurt, something hurt, a warning signal flashed up on the left lower side of his vision, but he didn't care. The agony was so strong, making him almost throw up, if he were able to, if this body were able to process what he was feeling.
None of this would happen, he had lost all his friends, they were all dead, and even if Deunan was alive, how could he ever be enough for her the way he was now? This body would enable him to guard her the way he had promised Carl, this body would ensure that he could be the best wingman Deunan could hope for, once he was able to use it to its full content.
Carl had been right all along, with this body Briareos was able to become the greatest soldier, he would become the best there was, but… but he could never become the man he should be for Deunan, the man she deserved, the man he wanted to be, he had almost been.
It had taken him years of learning that he could be more than just a soldier, more than just a feelingless killing machine. It had taken years of people being patient, open, and honest with him for him to finally learn to trust somebody again, to form bonds with another human being.
He had almost been there, he knew he had almost been there, almost…
Hollow he stared at the metal box in his hands, his feelings numbed by the pain his body couldn't comprehend.
None of what he wished for would come true, all he had left was the faint glimmer of hope that Deunan could be alive right now and this little box Carl had bequeathed to him.
With new determination he decided to open it, carefully placing his bulky fingers on the lid, but as he tried to grab it, he pressed too hard, scrunching the box in his hands.
"No," he whispered, letting go of the box, which fell to the ground with a silent thunk. He reached for it, holding it too tight again, causing it to dent even more.
"No!" He cowered on the ground, trying to pick up the small box as gentle as he could, losing his grip over and over, or clutching too strong. It took him several desperate minutes until he finally cradled it in his useless hands, now not daring to try to open it again. Whatever was inside could have been broken by now, could have been destroyed, simply because he wasn't able to move his fingers as he should.
Now he was kneeling on the ground, a treasure in his hands he couldn't touch, and the pain pierced his soul again.
Suddenly the door burst open and Matsumoto rushed inside.
"Briareos?" She yelled, coming to a halt and staring at him. "Oh my gosh, are you alright? What happened?"
He looked up from his treasure at the doctor. She held her phone in one hand, still breathing harsh like she had been running, a half-eaten sandwich in her other hand, like something important had interrupted her break.
"Nothing," he mumbled and got up, "what is it? It seems urgent?"
"Oh yes, right." She walked towards him, cramming the phone into her pocket and grabbing his wrist, pulling him along. "My friends found a group of mercenaries somewhere in Eastern Europe and it seems like their leader is a blonde soldier."
"What?"
Now she looked up at him, the subtle smile slightly bigger than usually. "We might have found Deunan, Briareos."
Once again, once again Deunan was there to save him in his darkest hour, like the shining light of dawn after a never-ending night, now the morning was finally close.
"Then let's go," he whispered.
Carefully he watched the huge doors in front of him. Half an hour ago he had been thrown outside, because his presence was making everybody tense, yeah, wasn't like he was the one risking his life here.
Within the next few minutes he was about to start his final mission and although he looked forward for his charade to be over, for all of this to be over, although he finally looked at this mission like his greatest challenge so far, he was quite nervous, damn it, he was freaking scared.
Fear means you have something to live for, my friend, something you don't want to lose, so I'm glad you are scared of what lies ahead of you. I'm glad you're not facing your challenge with a deathwish.
Briareos was at peace, yes, he was nervous, excited, and scared, but at the same time he was deadly calm, a calmness he remembered very well and had almost forgotten, a calmness he hadn't felt this way ever since he had almost died those sixteen years ago and as the grand door opened and Yoshitsune came out in the corridor to fetch him, he finally felt like himself again.
"Are you ready?" The other asked him.
"Yes of course," he nodded and slowly stood up.
"Then let's go, Briareos."
So, this was it? He couldn't quite believe it. He always had thought he would die in action, a bullet through his head or chest, like he had almost done back then. But on the other hand, he didn't plan on dying any longer.
Suddenly an incoming call made him pause. It was Deunan. Why now out of all times? Why right now?
What was he supposed to do?
Answering? This could be a stupid, a troublesome idea.
Not answering? But maybe this was his last opportunity to talk to her, to hear her voice.
With a silent sigh he stood there, Yoshitsune's eyes on him. Right now, he could just go and leave her without saying…
He wanted to hear her voice but was he even able to talk to her without spilling everything out? Was he even able to talk to her without risking it all, without risking her? But what would he be risking if he didn't pick up?
Asking the engineer for a second, he decided to choose the devil instead of the deep, blue sea and picked up.
"Hello…"
No response.
"Deunan…," he mumbled knowing that she was just on the other side of the line.
"Bri… Briareos."
Damn it, she sounded like she was on the nerve of crying, and like she was drunk. It hurt him, it hurt to imagine the pain she was going through, but if he would falter now all the last weeks would have been for nothing, so he cursed himself and stayed cold, for her.
"What do you want? I'm kind of busy right now, got it?"
He heard her swallow, maybe he had been a little bit too harsh, but he couldn't risk her to…
"I wanted to ask you, if you're alight." He could hear her breathing shakily. "And I wanted to know, when… no, if you will come home someday."
Almost wincing in pain, he buried his head in his right hand. This had been a mistake, he had known it all along, but he had wanted to hear her voice again, just one more time.
"Yeah, I'm fine, but I don't think…"
"You hate me, don't you?" Her voice was loud, cracking, breaking and then silent, broken, sad. "You hate me for what I said back then, don't you? I'm sorry Briareos, I am so sorry. You are right, I need to learn to watch my back, I…"
"I don't hate you, Deunan," he interrupted her effortlessly, barely able to listen to her words, to her fear and sorrow. "I never could and I'm not angry with you. It's alright, everything is fine."
"It's not! How can you say that? You're not here, we aren't partners anymore, you're gone, and you left me alone! Why? Why Briareos?"
He couldn't stand it, her voice pleading like that, hurting like that. He never wanted to hurt her, only to protect her, but by now he had accepted what he had denied for years, he couldn't protect her anymore, not the way he wanted to, not the way he should be able to, not like this…
"Because I do, what's always best for you, Deunan. You need a different partner, so you can learn how to protect yourself for the case that I won't be around."
He could hear her breath stop for several heart beats, something that sounded like glass, broke in the background; he could almost see those icy shards flying like frozen crystals through the air, scratching Deunan's skin. He could almost see the warm red fluid, only a few drops, enough to freeze his heart.
"It's because of our last mission, isn't it?"
"Deunan…"
"Isn't it, Briareos?!"
Yoshitsune called him, tapping his watch, reminding him that he was running out of time.
"I have to go now, Deunan," he said even colder than he had wanted to.
"What?! Wait…"
"Please, take care of yourself, and don't get yourself killed, okay?"
It hurt, it hurt so bad, his system sent him an emergency signal, not able to comprehend his feelings.
"Bria…"
He hung up, not able to bear her pain any moment longer. He had wanted to calm her down, he had wanted her to accept the new arrangement with Wataru, he had wanted her to feel safe without him, but again, he had failed her, and for another time he would leave her behind.
"Are you ready?" Yoshitsune asked again and pushed the door open.
"I am," Briareos lied and walked through, back to the main room of the lab, packed with people, but all he could see was the huge glass tank in front of him. This would either be his future or his doom.
"Good, the sooner we get done, the better."
He turned to his side. Lance stood there, grinning at him, but it was a fake smile, not reaching his eyes, not even able to lose the tension in the commander's shoulders.
The door closed behind Briareo's back, now he had nowhere to run to anymore, no more turning back, no more running away, the die was cast.
"Don't worry, the pain will be sharp but brief," one scientist explained to him, while he sat down on his dentist chair.
"Just bring it on, okay. Let's finish this mess."
Some people slightly laughed at his words, the tension notable in their voices. Surprised he looked up when nobody else than Nike grabbed his shoulder and observed him with her cold gaze.
"Briareos," she stated just as cold, "I just wanted to inform you that I have rearranged your schedule for the next four weeks."
"What?"
"So, don't let me down, you hear me? I've already ordered your pink tuxedo."
He huffed slightly, before he nodded, a new certainty spreading through his body.
Then he leaned back, staring at the white ceiling above him, reminding him of a white ceiling of a hospital room he had been in so many years ago. Slowly he turned down his artificial vision, just like closing his eyes, knowing that he would never turn it on again, destined never to open them again.
