Chapter Title: Nearing the End
Series Title: Turn the Page
Chapter Summary: Six months before Qui-Gon's death, a reflective Jedi Master looks back and forward to Obi-Wan's future.
"Master, you should be resting. We have many hours yet to travel. I can handle the controls." Obi-Wan, shedding his robe, glanced upwards at Qui-Gon and then back to the instrument panel of their compact transport ship.
"I've no doubt, Padawan. But I was restless and thought I would keep you company. You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all. Why were you restless?"
Qui-Gon settled into the co-pilots seat, absently checking the controls for no particular reason. "I'm not certain. Could be the mission ahead. It seems tedious even for us. But that may not be it."
"Did you meditate?" The young man asked the question already knowing the answer.
"I have and strangely enough, it was not helpful."
"The trip has been smooth. I've been trying to avoid debris and not create too much disturbance for you while you rested."
"Yes, I sensed that. Your anxiety about hitting a bump and waking me, was... pronounced over our bond."
A bowed head, Obi-Wan's face flushed. He'd never quite grown out of over-worrying when it came to those he cared about. It was a few long and lingering seconds before he answered Qui-Gon.
"Yes, but we've been going non-stop for over five months now and this is our tenth mission in that time. We've not been home in quite a long while."
"And..." Qui-Gon patted a hand on the shoulder next to him, "...you wanted to give your old master a rest. I'm not that old, Obi-Wan."
The humor in Jinn's voice was enough to quell any rising fear that Obi-Wan may have had that his annoying bad habit of worry had disappointed the man. "No, Master. You are not that old. Yet." He chided in return.
Silence overtook the pair for a time. The ship was on auto-pilot, but Obi-Wan, always fascinated with travel through space, kept eyes and ears alert. At some point, he began to feel a focused gaze on him. Qui-Gon was studying him more intently than usual. The younger Jedi didn't turn his head to confirm, but after feeling a bit uncomfortable with the narrowed attention, his eyes slid sideways to steal a peak at his teacher.
"Master?"
"Yes?"
"Is there something I am doing wrong? Or do you wish to take over the pilot's chair? I can..."
"No, Padawan. None of those things. I am just... thoughtful."
"Yes, Master," and Obi-Wan retreated back to the controls.
"Our journey together won't be much longer, you do know that."
"We have another three hours on the flight."
Qui-Gon snorted a huffed laugh. "Don't be so literal, Obi-Wan. I mean our journey as master and apprentice. You'll soon be ready for your trials. You'll soon be ready to be a Jedi Knight and venturing off onto your own missions."
Of course, rather than accepting such praise about a bright future, Obi-Wan felt his stomach drop. The excitement of the trials. The thrill of becoming a full-fledged Knight. It was what he had strived for all his life.
At thirteen years of age, weeks before Qui-Gon had taken him as an apprentice, Obi-Wan knew for certain that he'd never see that future. The Agri-Corps would be his only way forward. Then Jinn happened and together after much trial and tribulation, they went from unsure and troubled, to one of the most formidable teams in the entire Jedi Order. The bond - the companionship - that Obi-Wan shared with no other, yet he couldn't shake a tendril of fear that the most important relationship of his life would be lost once trials were passed... once the braid was cut.
Absently, Obi-Wan reached up to stroke that long braid of hair hanging over his right shoulder. A symbol that meant so many things. Dedication. Hard work. Patience. Learning. Helping. Impossible decisions. Impossible dreams. Bonding. Family.
And now... he couldn't help by wonder why Qui-Gon had waited until now, until they were both so exhausted, to start the conversation. Ten missions in five months. He was weary. Worn. In desperate need of a break. He knew Jinn felt the same.
Did some of that weariness stem from more than just the endless missions? Was the Force unveiling that this mission would be one of their last as master and apprentice? Qui-Gon had allowed Obi-Wan to assume the lead on their missions quite often in the last few years, confident that he had the knowledge and conviction to handle most difficult political and combative situations. Was it all leading to the finality of their bonding as teacher and student?
Thoughts wondered and wandered until Qui-Gon's soft voice brought the young man back to the present. "Obi-Wan?"
The padawan shook his head. "Sorry, Master. You... I wasn't expecting you to say that. Though I must admit that a part of me feels ready for the trials and ready to be out on my own. There's another part of me..." Arms crossing awkwardly, Obi-Wan released long breath, knowing full well that his master would understand the unfinished mentation.
"Fear is not always a bad thing, Obi-Wan. I have taught you that. But you must fear for the correct reasons. You cannot allow it to lead you." Sitting forward, Qui-Gon set a hand on his student's knee, patting it gently. "But, I didn't mean to upset you. We do have a mission at hand. Perhaps we should rest as you suggested."
Standing, Qui-Gon readied to leave his learner to the controls when Obi-Wan stopped him.
"Master, no." Said Obi-Wan, his voice involuntarily raising an octave. "I'm not upset. Just, well, you know how I tend to overthink things. Would you please stay. I would enjoy the company and despite my admittance, I might not be quite ready to see an ending to your teachings."
"Ah, so I don't drive you mad like I used to when you were younger?"
"Well, no. Not as mad." Obi-Wan quieted an annoying sensor light on the right of the panel after checking to make sure there was no issue. "I am very grateful to have been your apprentice, Master. When I was thirteen and..."
"You assumed you were headed to the Argi-Corps. Your time was waning and you had somehow managed to scare off half-a-dozen Master Jedi in the process. Not all that easy to do, mind you. You were angry and rebellious and impatient and all things that no one wanted to take on."
"You did. Eventually."
"You know as well as I do that I've always been somewhat different. I often see in ways that other's do not. But the Force was leading me toward you. Eventually, I was able to see past all of the negatives that were said about you. There were a few positives that I focused on instead. Although, I admit, many times during our first two years, I felt I'd made a horrible mistake. You appreciate our troubled beginnings as much as I do."
Another flush came over the apprentice. Even so close to the end of their partnership, he still involuntarily flinched in remembering those first years. How difficult he had been. The challenge he'd had in understanding exactly how the venerable Qui-Gon Jinn operated. How uncoordinated they had been together. How often he wondered not if, but when Qui-Gon would give up on him and release him from training and in the process, probably from the Order itself.
"But," Qui-Gon went on, ignoring the young man's embarrassment, "We worked at it and fought for it and here we are. I am glad that neither of us gave up on the other back then. It would've been a terrible mistake for us both."
"I'm glad as well, Master. You took a great chance on me when no one else would and I know I wasn't appreciative of it for a time. Or I was, I just didn't know how to show it in my training. I've learned everything from you. Some of those things rather tedious, monotonous and boring of course..."
A flash of humor to lighten the mood.
"...but most of it invaluable. Once I am a Knight, I will utilize all of your teachings. Though, I hope you will not mind me seeking your direct guidance and assistance when I need it."
"I would wish nothing more than to help continue to guide you on your journey, Obi-Wan. Just because you are a Knight, does not mean you stop learning or that I cease in your teaching. It does not mean that we are no longer family. We shall always be that, regardless of where our paths lead us."
"I'd like that."
"As would I, Padawan." Qui-Gon stood again. Aches from an endless stream of missions and months straining even his limits of endurance. Sleep and meditation was required, restless or not. "Obi-Wan, I believe I will get that rest you've ordered for me. Let me know if you want to switch off with piloting in a bit."
Standing as well, Obi-Wan wished to see his master to the ship's rest area.
Qui-Gon turned to set both hands on his shoulders, taking his left hand to run it along the padawan braid, mind traveling to the past. Obi-Wan had worked exceptionally hard for this for so long. No one truly understood or appreciated the efforts the boy had put into becoming one of the most highly respected apprentices in the Order. But Qui-Gon did. Every ounce of blood, sweat, tears, worry, hard work. Every unimaginable decision and agonizing emotion. Extreme failures. Stimulating successes. All those things that he'd put into over a decade of training - Jinn knew it all. Had seen it all.
Qui-Gon smiled, not yet able to imagine how fiercely proud he'd be once the trials were completed and the braid was cut.
He wondered too... perhaps he should just say it now. There was always that possibility that future obstacles would prevent him from saying later what was important at the moment.
"You do know, Padawan, I am extremely proud of you. Your entire journey. Flaws, failures and all. You have overcome more than I ever imagined. Even with a sometimes impossible master." Qui-Gon grinned. "And if we ever actually get a reprieve from this endless mountain of missions, perhaps we will take a few days for ourselves to relax and reminisce."
Struggling for words after such praise, Obi-Wan bowed his head slightly. "Master. Thank you. And I would certainly enjoy any down time we should be able to spend together."
"Good. Until then, assuming we get there, I shall rest, Padawan."
"Rest well."
Long strides and Qui-Gon vanished from sight, leaving Obi-Wan alone and rechecking the controls. He felt lighter now, having finally gotten the opportunity to have true, meaningful time with his master.
He was beyond honored to be the apprentice of Qui-Gon Jinn for these years. One of the Order's greatest Jedi. And no matter what their future, he swore to live up to everything that Qui-Gon was and everything that the man expected him to be.
Obi-Wan would be his pride. His memory.
He would be his legacy.
...
...turn the page...
