Hello Everyone! So I finally managed to get this chapter to my beta thank Goodness! My life is in shambles right now. Like major shambles. We are fine and healthy, thank you to everyone who has been asking. But it's been nuts. My kids have our computers most of the time for schoolwork so I don't get as much time to be creative. My kids are stressed because they can't go to parks, or leave the house. It's been a very insane time to be a part of history. Not to mention I am still taking a class that requires my computer and most likely I'm going to have to drop my summer semester at this point and push off graduation.
So I'm going to answer themed questions up here for people that don't review or may not read my responses to reviews.
Why did Sesshomaru cave first? Simply put, Natsuki has spent the last five years learning to control herself and not seek him out. Sesshomaru didn't.
Why did Sesshomaru say, "You are also mine?" If this was a human relationship, they would both be his wives. Natsuki is not his primary obviously, but he still feels an obligation to take care of her. He is honorbound to care for her needs as her husband/lover/mate whatever you want to call it.
To everyone who said, too much Natsuki? Sorry, A. I love her and B. She is integral to the story, so you'll just have to deal with it.
To the ones who threatened and said they will stop reading. Bye :) Look I would love to feel bad for you but there are 6,000 sessrin stories on here it's okay. This is my escapism and this story is about complex emotions that don't revolve around just Rin. In fact none of my stories has it ever been the point that Rin's emotions are the only ones that matter.
Natsuki saying she wanted to be his primary? She knew she was meant for Sesshomaru long before Rin came into the picture. She was literally groomed for at least a century to believe that and had no issues with it but he changed when he met Rin. So all of her previous plans for them are out the window.
Anyway, onward!
Rin-past
Summer is at its zenith and she sweats while tilling the soil of the garden. Her turquoise kimono is hiked over her knees while Harutoga plucks weeds next to her. Seeing her son makes her smile and she wonders where Yuki and Taiyomaru are. Raising a hand to shield her eyes, she searches through the village for them. As if on cue Hisato says from the side, "Katsumoto is with them."
With the question answered, she goes back to her work. The sun is hot against her skin, and she knows that soon they'll have to go inside to escape it. "Look at this one, Ka-san," Harutoga holds up the flower from one of the weeds. "Why do weeds grow flowers?"
"Why do flowers grow on weeds?" she counters and lifts the final bit of soil out of the way.
"Mmh?" He taps his chin. "Maybe to remind us that beauty is everywhere?"
"I like that," Rin says and goes to the hut to get the seeds. They are adding to their melon patch, because there are more children in the village, which means more mouths to feed and all the families love the sweet fruit. She hefts the bag of seeds over her shoulders and starts planting and covering them while Harutoga walks behind her with a bucket of water.
"Why do we work in the fields? The other children say that you and Chichiue are a Lord and Lady and we shouldn't have to," Harutoga asks while pouring water where she has planted.
"You don't know what hunger feels like, Harutoga," Rin says as she moves along, covering the seeds with dirt. "You don't know famine or war."
He shakes his head.
"It's because of the sacrifices Chichiue makes for us that we have this village and food," she says proudly. "We don't have to live in fear."
The child nods, and she can tell his mind is still spinning with thoughts. "Are you really a princess?"
Rin bursts out laughing along with Hisato. "No. You know how Chichiue found me."
"You found him," Harutoga corrects her. "But then why are you a Lady?"
"Because Chichiue is a Lord."
"Did you get married like Sota?"
"No."
"But then you aren't married! Obasan says you have to be married before you have children!"
Hisato laughs harder and Rin tries not to smear mud on her mouth at her son's antics. "Harutoga, when a pureblooded dog demon bonds a human, that is like a human marriage. I chose to respect Chichiue's customs. He didn't want a marriage," she says, remembering the day by the sakura tree, how he held her, how he made love to her. She licks her lips, wishing he was there now.
"You smell funny, Ka-san." Harutoga runs up to her and touches her forehead. "Are you sick? You smell hot."
Hisato bursts out even louder laughing, trying to regain his stoic composure.
"Hisato, stop laughing!" Rin stomps her foot.
"Are you going to explain that smell, Rin-sama?" He's vibrating and wiping his eyes.
"You smell like a hot summer morning. Why did it change?" Harutoga's nose circles his mother's stomach.
Instead Rin picks up a piece of dirt and flings it at Hisato, who leaps out of the way. She growls at both of them.
"Rin!" A screeching voice comes from behind Rin.
She grins, knowing who is emitting such a high pitched shriek. Jaken runs, nearly tripping on Nintojo, landing on his face and skidding through the freshly tilled soil. "He's coming home!" The urchin throws her a scroll.
She unrolls it with a smile. "Chichiue is coming home!" She hugs Harutoga excitedly, but then she notices the sudden cessation of Hisato's laughter and the seriousness of his expression. "Why do I get the feeling that you know what's going on up there?" Rin rounds on him.
"I don't," and she can't help but notice something strange in his voice when he says that.
"Whatever it is…Harutoga, go find your brother and sister. We'll prepare to meet Chichiue." Rin smiles, feeling her cheeks pinch and burn. After a month of not having Sesshomaru home, she starts jogging back to their home with the excitement of a child but the desire of a woman.
Months before she had started lining up the servants for his return. They flank the walkway in two lines and she stands at the end with the children freshly bathed, twirling her thumbs. He said he would come as the sun began to set and in nearly thirteen years he has never been late. Rin grins, pacing back and forth. He hasn't had to be gone this long since Yuki was eight.
The blue skies begin to change into bright orange and pink, casting shadows of blue and purple on their ivory white house. She sees the streak of white light flying across the sky, then forming a bulb of white light in front of her. As always, his eyes are on her and her alone. The children break rank even though they've been warned not to. "Chichiue!" they cry, running to him. Taiyomaru makes it first, flying into his father's arms and for a moment Rin does a double take, shaking off what she just saw as luck and a smooth jump. He didn't just fly…hanyous can't fly.
Yuki smashes her face into Sesshomaru's ribs and Harutoga holds his father's hand. At the end Rin as he walks up to Rin, she's forced to kiss him through the children and he whispers in her ear, "Taiyomaru's asleep."
Rin rolls her eyes as she follows Sesshomaru into the house and the servants are dismissed. He glides, striding through the public dining hall, into the private corridor and then past his study, their private dining hall and at last to the children's room.
Rin can't help but chuckle at the state of Taiyomaru. He doesn't sleep when his father isn't home and literally falls asleep the moment his head hit's his father's shoulders. One day he smashed his nose into Sesshomaru's armor and spent an hour crying from pain. He's tucked into bed, tearing a piece of his father's kimono on the way down that he stuffs against his nose. "Did he sleep?" Sesshomaru strokes their son's long black hair with a look of consternation.
"Does he ever sleep when you are not home?"
Sesshomaru's eyes seem far and distant as he tucks his son in.
"Are you okay, my love?" She piles his hair over his shoulder and begins massaging his neck. He leans into her hands, exhaling, his muscles relaxing under her touch.
"Yuki, Harutoga." He brushes her hands off and it's only then Rin sees the lines around his eyes, the new creases that weren't there before. She had often wondered if she would ever see him age and he no longer looked like a teenager.
"Was it that bad?" she questions him.
"It was what it was," he says dismissively, and she feels her heart ache. What are you hiding from me?
She bites her lower lip and leaves the room, avoiding crying in front of him, if he only knew how hard it was for her when he was gone. She finds herself in the private dining room, flopping onto one of the chairs, wiping her eyes. Suddenly Akari is in the room with a pot of mint tea and two cups. "You look like you needed it."
Rin sputters through her tears, "He's so distant."
"Men," Akari agrees, pouring them both cups and joining her. "Hineko is like that at times. Or he was before we came here. He would go off on some adventure or leave me with the children, and there were times he came back in a foul mood."
Rin bites down on her finger, picking up a napkin and blotting her eyes. "I just want to help him….support him. But it hurts when he's like this."
"I'm sorry," Akari sits down next to her and hugs her shoulders. "He loves you."
"I know."
"Men are idiots, even when they are in love."
Rin starts laughing and then thinks about the demon she saw in the future. What happens to you my love that does this to you? Sesshomaru's face in the future was more lined, he was more slight, his skin paler but his affect much softer than she was used to seeing. She closes her eyes, rubbing her temples. "Do you think he saw her up there?"
Akari bites her bottom lip, making her fangs more prominent. "I would be shocked if he didn't. I've heard the palace is large, but I would assume he did."
Rin flops her head onto the table. "As if he would tell me."
"He's afraid of losing you again," Akari refills her cup and Rin's. "The last time you knew he was with her, you left and took his children."
"I wouldn't do it again. I promised I wouldn't and I know about her now and oddly she and I get along."
"He doesn't know that," Akari says defensively, "any of that. You have no idea how we have to scrub to get her smell out before he returns."
"Would you be okay with Hineko having two?"
"As long as I remained the head-wife and slept in his bed more often than not?"
"I don't understand youkai!"
Akari snorts. "As if a human Lord wouldn't have done the same thing."
"Kohaku wouldn't have-" She covers her mouth, shocked at her own statement. "I did not just say that."
"Kohaku?" Akari gets a sly grin on her face and scoots forward. "Do tell… who was he?"
"Is he?" Rin comes closer unsure of how close her lover is. "I can't believe I'm talking about this. So when I was eight and Sesshomaru found me, for nearly a year it was just me with him. Kohaku is three years older than me. He was being held prisoner by Naraku, I told you about him. After he broke free of Naraku's mind control, he went to be with Kikyo. But one day he was being chased by Byakuya, a bunshin of Naraku, and Sesshomaru-sama saved him. Kohaku traveled with us until Naraku was destroyed.
"After that, well it was too hard for him to be in the village with his sister. He left almost immediately to find another village of slayers to train with but he came and visited often. He helped me learn to fight, stamina and tumbling. He had a crush on my best friend Satsu, but after she was killed, we kind of turned to each other for comfort. I was fifteen and I knew shortly after that how precious life was. I wanted Sesshomaru, I wanted him so badly…but I knew how he felt about relationships with humans, so one day Kohaku and I were swimming in the lake by the village in the middle of the night and he kissed me. It got very hot from there," she blushes. "He was the first person to, you know, put their fingers inside me. We started courting and right around the night, literally the night we were probably going to make love, Sesshomaru caught us."
"Oh kami," Akari's face flops against the table. "I bet he wanted to kill Kohaku."
"He grabbed me and," her eyes roll into the back of her head. "What I thought would happen with Kohaku felt nothing like what Sesshomaru did that night. I only knew a year later that he was trying to bond me."
"Did you love Kohaku?" Akari asks with a sparkle in her eye.
"Not like I love Sesshomaru. I loved him, I cared about Kohaku, but it wasn't like this. We turned to each other for comfort, friendship, connection. We settled. She loves him," Rin says defeated. "I know she does."
"She's a selfish child," Akari hisses.
"It's not her fault. She was being used. I just wish he would tell me what's going on, or was going on."
"Rin?" A knock comes at the door and it opens slowly to Sesshomaru with a smile on his face. "Come."
"Thank you," she hugs Akari and follows Sesshomaru out into the hallway, only to be pinned against the wall and her lips attacked ferociously. She grips his chest, feeling his muscles through the silks of his clothing. His hands lift her thighs, creating a nest for her, widening her legs as he presses himself into her. Her head leans back, allowing him to nip at her neck. "We should go to our room." She rocks into his hips moaning lightly at the contact of his mouth against her skin.
"Mmh." He clamps down on the side of her neck and she can feel his fangs dipping into her skin.
She feels his fingers glide up the underside of her thigh and toy with the lacy thong that Kagome gave her. As soon as they caress her lips, her legs tighten and she gasps. "My love, please? The bedroom." Her core is burning, like someone has taken a torch and lit her walls into blazes.
He breaks the string of her thong with his claw pulling it out and twirling it on his finger as he walks away.
"You!" Rin runs after him and he jogs into their bedroom. She chases after him, finding him behind their door as he tackles her, throwing her onto the bed. "Do you have to break every pair of those Kagome-sama gave me? Now that the well isn't working, how am I supposed to get new ones?"
"I don't like them." His claws trace tantalizing lines down the front of her kimono, ripping into the fabric as they glide down her body but only tingling against her skin.
Her breasts heave as she breathes, trying to get control of herself but when he is like this, it's impossible. His sole purpose is to make her scream and Rin knows it.
He lays over her, forcing her legs wider with his knees while literally peeling her kimono off in strips. "I don't like this kimono either." He presses his mouth into hers as his hands make fast work of what was left of her kimono.
She starts on the fabric of his haori, pulling it open, and then the white underlayer, until her hands run up his solid abs, but are quickly pinned above her head and he shakes his head, putting a pillow on top of them. "You will not move them."
"No I won't," she says bashfully as his mouth covers her left nipple, swirling the nub with his tongue, while his hand massages the other. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning as the fire burns that much hotter.
His other hand explores, fingers outstretched running the length of her abdomen before abruptly entering her core, pumping her, while his thumb circles her clit. She gasps at the firm thrusts, rocking her hips against his fingers as his mouth finally leaves her nipple and opens between her breasts, only to clamp down with a twirling tongue. It covers her other breasts and she fights the need to grab her knees, instead only stretching her knees up to her shoulders to widen herself and stretch until she feels the pads of his fingers pumping the bulging center of pleasure. Nails dig into the pillow that holds her hands in invisible bonds as his mouth comes lower and lower, lapping, nipping and then at last sucking on her clit. "Mmh!" it comes from her mouth louder than what she wanted. "Kami-sama Sesshomaru!"
It starts with her walls winding themselves up and feeling so hard she's going to shatter as his mouth licks and sucks, sending waves of pleasure through her, and then the first pulse, the second and the third until she feels a gush of fluid run down her legs. She cries in release, her orgasm taking over, only having seconds to recover until he is between her legs, pushing himself inside of her. He moves her knees to flank his sides, creating a tighter space for him to enter as he begins thrusting quickly inside of her.
It's then she sees the flash of pain cross his eyes, as if new lines of tension have bloomed on him over night. She holds one of his hands, opening her legs as wide as she can, with her knees cocked to the side. She invites him to come down and kiss her lips, joying in their connection. "My love." She strokes the tips of his ears to calm him, until he groans in release.
"I'm sorry, my heart." He collapses on top of her, breathing hard, and covered in sweat.
"For what?"
"For everything," he says and his eyes close.
Please review!
I have no idea when I'll update again sorry! I'm so distracted by real life right now but I wanted to get this up.
Thank you to Laureninthesky96 for editing for me!
Okay I am going to try to respond to all these reviews but I think I may miss a few, if I do I'm sorry!
Mechinex2: Oh yes it's been insane here. We had to switch to an online platform and I'm homeschooling 2/4 kids so it's insane. I know it seems like Sess is bad but he really isn't. He knew he couldn't resist. So glad you love it! I know it's not fair to Sess or Natsuki or Rin...
Harukasempai14x2: Natsuki did behave better. Talk about something fun to explore...Natsuki had wanted to be his primary, she's had him for centuries what happens when/if she finds out about Nina? Our classes got all pushed online and I am fairly certain I have to cancel my summer semester because I won't be able to have my kids in summer camp. So I said it up top, she had been groomed her whole life to be his. Being a homewrecker wasn't part of the plan, she just assumed she would be head of his harem of females. OOOO you got mad. I love it!
Reaper 007: Mean
. : Um...yeah this isn't any different than any other SessRin mate theory story out there. Natsuki is Sesshomaru's mate, the same way Rin is.
New Readerx2: Um...cause I am mean, cause I am evil? Cause it's fun? This definitely screwed their relationship to ever turning into love. I am not sure where we are in the story. I literally wrote this in POV's and never numbered the freaking chapters. We are nearly done with Part 1 and there are three parts but they aren't all the same length so I think we are near the halfway point, but funny fact this isn't any longer word count than isntinct LOL. HAHA Don't worry thanks to this pandemic, not having as much computer access and everything it's going to take a while to finish. And I finally solved one of my later plot issues ...soo it's coming.
Morality: I'm reading it. I love GinreixSess...so far I hate SessxRin in that story. It's like Rin is his pet and she has no backbone yet, until she finally finds out.
Gogo: You'll just have to wait and find out
Ginax5: I'm reading Runaway right now. I love it so far. You may not like that i use Natsuki and it may piss readers off but they can go read other stories. This is mine and I'm not changing it for anyone. Actually tamiful and aids retrovirals have been shown in Thailand to help treat Corona virus. Crazy times. Thanks for all the reviews!
Itzatakahashi: He never had love for Natsuki. Fondness yes, but not love. Oh she knows very well that he doesn't love her.
Curious cat: I wish I knew! I'm almost done writing it but in terms of words count it's still shorter than Instinct at the moment but might be a bit longer in word count when I finish.
Angel-wing 92: Mean
Guest#1: Did you read instinct? And yes he has no self control if the other mate is also demon. Their yoki draws them together like magnets.
Guesswhox2: Yeah i love all the different views too. My inspiration is Jodi Picoult. In her stories you get to read from all sides and I really like that, because then you begin to understand eveyones feelings. Natsuki is so old school. She is like this is me, get over it. I think for Sesshomaru if you can't tell, he still cares for Natsuki. He is honorbound to provide her happiness even if they don't live together and that is one line even for Rin he is not willing to cross.
Jin: I'd love to respond to this but I honestly really don't care if it turns readers off. This is my story, my series, my escape. The fact that I even share it with the public is all that matters. If you stop reading I won't mind. There are 6,000 other sessrin stories on FFN to enjoy. This all has a purpose you won't know until the end of the story sooooooo...again 6,000 other stories and I do not appreciate reviews that tell me how you think it should have been written because you can't see the bigger picture that other people can.
Luin-fanex2l: Thank goodness we are healthy. The kids are going insane but what else can be expected from being cooped up for so long?
Omg I did it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed to the two that I did not approve.
Sessrin who is probably sessrin lover who literally spams everyone's stories with hate who we have also busted on discord spreading hate...please please please promise me? You promise to stop reading my story? You're done? You'll go hate on someone else?
