PETRA –

With trembling hands and a dry mouth, I knocked softly on the door to the apartment I used to call home. I'd been grateful for Hanji serving as the messenger between Levi and me. I'd already told him over text that I couldn't face speaking to him. We'd shared just one short phone call. He hadn't asked me if I was okay, though I could tell he wanted to. I wondered if he thought the question would upset me because of course I wasn't okay, and he was the reason. To be honest, I couldn't blame him for everything. A lot of this had to be my fault. I should never have pushed him into a relationship. I'd always reasoned with myself that he was just socially awkward; he still loved me and he just simply could not show it. I swallowed, throat tight. Hanji had text me that Levi was out … I was still terrified he might be there. After half a minute, I slipped my key into the lock and opened the door, peering cautiously past.

The lights were off.

Taking a breath to steady my nerves, I grasped the handle to my suitcase tightly, heaving it inside.

"In and out," I said to myself. No need to spend too much time in here. Get your stuff and go.

All the essentials had been delivered to me from a friend who had met with Levi and taken a few boxes worth of items. There were still a few things I'd forgotten about, and a few more I needed to give back. Inside my suitcase was a few t-shirts, a jumper and a couple of necklaces that Levi had bought me and even though I knew he would want me to keep them, I couldn't. Neither could I face burning them or throwing them out. They had to return here, like I was putting them into their graves. Scuttling into the kitchen in my kitten heels, I found the light and illuminated the apartment – clean, tidy, as it always had been. The pictures on the wall had changed. Some of the DVDs on the shelf were missing. Not much was out of its usual place, though, and I wasn't sure if that made me feel better, or worse.

I decided the best place to leave his stuff would be in the bedroom and began to neatly lay his old jumper at the foot of the bed. Next were the t-shirts of his I'd sometimes worn home because we'd gotten them … sweaty. In the beginning, there had been a lot of occasions that I had come to visit him with no intention of staying over. Then, with a few glances between us and a few more glasses of wine …

No use thinking of those things anymore.

"In and out," I reminded myself. With a jolt, I noticed a set of female pyjamas, partially hidden by one of the pillows. I took them in my hands before I could stop myself, lifting them to inspect. They weren't mine. I didn't know why I expected them to be. And then I saw the hairbrush on the bedside table. The perfume bottle. The can of deodorant. I squeezed the material in my hands, pulling so hard the seams were about to rip.

"In and out," I said again, biting back tears that threatened to spill.

I opened the wardrobe, ripped out my old work folders, the box with my exam certificates in, a pair of shoes and whatever else I recognised, throwing them into the open suitcase. Everywhere I looked, there was more of her. My hands tugged at my hair. I tried to breathe slowly. Fumbling with the zip, I hastily shut the suitcase and dragged it from the bed. In the living room, I spotted a small box tucked away under the TV, something that hadn't been there before. My fingers tugged it free from the shelf and then laid it before me. Inside was a leather, black watch with a date inscribed onto the back, a few ties, a couple of framed photographs. When I recognised them all as the gifts I had given him, my heart broke.

"In and out, Petra," I reminded myself, wiping the tears brimming in my eyes. "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go." I clasped the watch, tightly. "Don't you want this, Levi?" I cried, pressing the glass screen to my forehead. "Can't you even look at it?" Wet tears spilled into the box, dropping on the faces of the people in the photos so that they blurred. I touched them, lip wobbling. "Is it really over?"

My phone vibrated and for a second, my heart lifted – he's calling. Of course, he wasn't.

"Hanji?" I spoke, vaguely attempting to sound 'cheerful'. I wasn't sure I knew how anymore.

"Did you manage to get in okay?" She asked. I could hear the buzz of people in the background, laughter, shouts, cheers, the clinks of glasses. Levi was at the pub again, I guessed.
"Yeah, I'm just picking up my stuff now."
"Don't rush, you've got time. Levi will be here for a while."
"I'm nearly done."
"You sure you two don't want to talk this out?" All I could focus on was the familiar chatter crackling through the phone. One deep, well-spoken ripple that probably belonged to Erwin. Another deep, gravelly rumble that sounded in high spirits … must be him.
"It's too soon," I replied, glumly.

"It'll always be too soon. Make sure you see him – you both need the right closure."
"More of your theories of relationships?" I attempted a laugh, but it stuck in my throat when I heard a new voice over the phone, a female one.
"-Levi, I've got to work!-," it said.

"-We need to talk, stay still. Hey, brat!-," The girl laughed.

"Petra, can you still hear me?" Hanji interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry, what did you say?"
"-Lena! Come here-,"

"Sorry, you're breaking up. My signal isn't great." I stammered, hanging up with burning fingers. A sob escaped my lips.

I took the photo frames in my hands, squeezing so tightly that my muscles ached, then smashed them onto the floor. My palm stung. As I pulled it away from the shattered glass on the floor, there were shards embedded in my hand. I sobbed again.

"Time to go." Leaving the mess on the floor, I grasped the suitcase with my good hand and fled the apartment, slamming the door shut one final time.

LENA –

"LENA?!" A woman howled at me from the other side of the bar. God help me, another crazy drunk lady. "Your name is Lena?!" She bellowed again. Both hands slammed onto the bar and her nose was an inch from mine.

"Uh, yes?" I hazarded a smile – always best to be friendly with the drunks, get on their good side. The woman's eyes glinted brightly and immediately, she bounded away leaving me to sigh quietly in relief. I decided to think nothing of the encounter and keep working, but the scream of a name in the direction the crazy lady had just left made me jump.

"LEVI!"

I span quickly to search for the woman, only managing to see her reddish-brown hair bobbing through the crowd. The pint in my hand began to brim. I tossed it across to the customer and punched the price into the card machine, still trying to watch the space where I was certain I'd heard Levi's name called. Nothing happened for several minutes so I kept serving, keeping an eye out for a short, angry man giving me daggers from across the bar. I'd just popped ice into a glass of coke when a dark presence appeared.

"Yo," it said.

"Fuck!" I cried out, scrambling to catch the glass before it smashed. "Levi! You're like something from a horror movie!"

"You work here, then?"
"S-sometimes, what the hell are you doing here?"
"Public house, clue is in the name."
"Look, I've got to work," another customer caught my eye, looking mildly irritated. "Sorry, have you been served?"
"Come over to the snooker table in five minutes." Levi tapped one long finger on the bar for attention, instantly regretting it and looking at his now sticky finger in disgust. I could smell alcohol on his breath. He didn't look too drunk. That being said, he'd never been easy to read.

"Levi, I'm working!"

"Five minutes!" He repeated, already walking away. I cursed him, juggling three empty pint glasses in my hands.

Unsurprisingly, right on time I excused myself with my boss for a five-minute break and he obliged. Weaving through the crowd and trying not to grab too much attention (any female wandering through a pub in a bartender's apron was immediately prey), it didn't take long to spot Levi's group. They stood out like nuns in an airport. The crazy drunk lady, apparently Levi's friend from the way she managed to speak erratically in his face without getting a slap, tapped his shoulder and laughed. He more or less maintained his stoic expression, yet even I could spot a hint of a smile crease his eyes. On his other side, a bulky, tall model-of-a-man perched on a stool, one hand around a drink, the other cupping his face. His eyes were watching me, coolly. Suddenly, I was nervous. This felt like meeting the parents, especially since I wasn't sure Levi had any. Just as I considered disappearing back behind the bar (to hell with Levi's wrath), said demon clocked me. He spotted my reluctance and raised one dainty hand. He beckoned me like I was a naughty child.

"Ooh!" The female cried, excitedly. She was immediately stalking towards me. I flinched away as she reached out, but it didn't stop her grasping my arm tightly and hauling me over. "Introduce us, Levi!"

"She can introduce herself," he shrugged, taking possession of me from Hanji and pulling me to his side.

"I'm Hanji Zoe!" She extended a hand with enthusiasm. I took it, despite how awkward it felt.
"Lena Hertz," I replied. "Nice to meet you."
"This is Erwin Smith," Levi gestured over his shoulder to his other friend, the one who still regarded me with unwavering eyes.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Hertz." I flushed. These were an incredibly weird set of people. I had long wondered the type of folk Levi made friends with. After meeting them, I still didn't have an answer. Crazy people?

"You didn't say you worked here."

"I work too many places to bore you with."

"You're still at the café, right?" My eyes dropped to the floor, thinking of Mrs Amistad who had still not recovered. "Is that cunt still in charge?"

"Don't be so crass, Levi," Erwin chided him, only a second before I was about to. Levi gave him a look, one eyebrow raised. Erwin ignored him. "You appear to work hard."

"Well, I'm saving up for things …" I replied. Levi looked curious.

"Like what?"

"Eventually, I want to do a degree."

"Can't you get a loan?"

"I'm not sure I'd be able to at the minute. It's not a money concern, more … time."

"No wonder," Levi snorted. "You work too much. Why can't you get a full-time job? You'd earn more and it would be better hours."

"I have to be flexible for my mum. She works shifts, and I need to be around for Ema when she can't."

"How old is your sister?"

"Eleven."

"Surely she's getting old enough that she can be in the house on her own. Doesn't she have friends she can go to school with?" My mouth slammed shut. His gaze didn't faulter, pushing me for a response.

"I can't-," I began.

"Lena, you've got to live your life, too." My eyes fell to the ground again; I had no response to that. I'd spent my whole life so far orientating it around my mum and my sister, trying my best to keep our family afloat. I'd never been allowed to pursue my own happiness. And all this time, my dad and brother had been doing what they wanted. They'd left us behind. The business they had made money, and yet they'd pour all of the earnings back into the business instead of alleviating some of the strains we had back home. Any money I made was soon lost on food shops or repairing something at home. I couldn't ask mum to pay me back, it didn't feel right when she was struggling so much. None of it was fair. None of it.

"I can't." I repeated, meeting his eyes with my own, knowing my expression was probably pathetic. I'd put all these thoughts aside after meeting Levi. Afterall, he was inch by inch, lifting the strain on my shoulders. Every second with him pushed further aside my stress. I'd started to forget my own wishes – I didn't need to go to university anymore. I could deal with life as it is.

"You're one to lecture about career choices," Hanji interrupted, nudging him. He pushed her back with a scowl.

"Go back to your experiments."

"Didn't you always want to join the army? And instead, look where you are." She shrugged. I blinked. For some reason, the image of Levi in the military clicked and I wondered why I'd never thought of it before. He suited it perfectly.

"Let's not discuss work," Erwin said. He tapped his empty pint glass. "Anyone?"

"Do bears shit in the woods?" Levi handed him his empty glass and then rummaged in his pocket for something. "Take my card, it's my round." His friend nodded and pocketed the card. That was some level of trust right there! Perhaps I could do that with Guthrie, but Kurt would run my card into single digits and Ava would probably lose it somewhere.

"Lena, what kind of films do you like?" Hanji took my hands in hers and shook them. This woman was intense. Levi's arm, which had been hanging on the chair behind me, wound around my waist to keep me anchored.
"I guess … anything. I like a bit of everything."
"Superhero films?"

"Some of them. Maybe, Iron Man"

"Old Westerns?"
"Magnificent Seven is good."
"Anime?"

"Oh God no."

"Romance?"
"Yeah, maybe."

"Fifty Shades of Grey?" She snickered.

"Oi!" I blushed. "You think my standards of art are so low?"

"Stop interrogating her, Hanji." Levi chided, his fingers squeezing my hip.

"I'm trying to find out what she likes, for your sake."

"For my sake?"

"Lena, when was the last time he asked you to the cinema?"
"Uh," I didn't even need to think about it, "Never."
"Never?! Levi, step up your game." He just snorted. "What do you do for dates then?"
"We …" I looked at him. He had a mischievous expression playing on his face. "Stay home." I finished. Hanji tutted, loudly.
"You youngsters with all your energy. It'll burn out, you know! Then all you'll have left are your shared hobbies."

"Of which we don't have."

"You like being teased and I like teasing you," Levi said and even though I knew he was saying it to torment me, I still fell straight into his trap. I began to splutter some sort of response when Erwin returned – rapid service. Must have been those good looks. Erin, behind the bar, was a sucker for customers like him. Hanji looked up from her phone to take one of the glasses from him. Levi leaned forward to take the other, still gripping my hip. When Erwin mentioned something to Hanji and they began discussing at a level I couldn't quite hear, I snagged the opportunity to get back at Levi.

I leaned down to his ear, looking to the rest of the world like I was whispering something to him, then blew softly. He visibly shuddered. "Just who teases who, exactly?" I said delicately, revelling in how his eyes melted and sparked with interest.

"I got to make a quick call," Hanji said, checking her phone. "I'll be back!" She bounced a couple of paces away and tapped away at her mobile.

Erwin returned to our small circle. I tried to ignore slightly tipsy Levi boring a hole into the side of my face with his eyes. It didn't seem to go unnoticed by the ever-eagle-eyed Erwin, who tilted his head with a suppressed grin. "Levi, shall we head for the darts?"
"Not yet," Levi blinked back into the room. "In a while."
"My break will end soon," I commented. A snort of disapproval sounded from beside me.

"When do you finish?"
"About 1am."

"I'll wait for you."

"Don't bother, I'm heading back to mum's tonight."

"What for?"

"I'm taking Ema to the library tomorrow."

"I'll drop you off."

"I can walk." I couldn't hold back the roll of my eyes.

"What time are you going?"

"What's it to you?" Immediately after the words left my mouth, he gave me a scowl that would frighten the Devil. There was also a hint of childishness circling his eyes. Drunk Levi was pretty fun to play with.

"I've really got to go now," I laughed. "My boss won't be happy." He was a little bit intoxicated and though he usually hid it quite well, he was getting openly clingy and jeez – that sulk! He didn't release his grip from me, even when I tried to prize away his fingers.

"Levi!" I batted his hands away. "I've got to work!"

"We need to talk, stay still." I twisted sharply, managing to slip away. "Hey, brat!" He grabbed for me again and I stuck out my tongue. His response was to sulk even harder, looking like a child denied of his ice-cream. "Lena, come here."

"I'm leaving." I said, firmly, turning to nod at Erwin and smile at Hanji, who was still on the phone. She glanced up, her brow quite tense, managing a small wave back and then going back to the phone call. It didn't look like a fun phone call. "Good to meet you." I said to Erwin, picking up their empty glasses and making my way back to the bar.

"Hey, I'll wait for you!" Levi called. I looked over my shoulder and flashed a bright smile.

"Don't!"