Continuing self-insert into Winter 2019's most polarizing anime.

Waiting for Season 2...

Finger Count: 5/10

Eye Count: 2/2

Sanity Meter: 35%

Death Counter: 1

Let's try not to die.


Epic 23: The Rampage Part Finale


Switching POV: Naofumi

Okay, so far, today and the past several days for Naofumi and his party were just flat-out weird.

First, Nan comes out from nowhere to bail him out of being assaulted by the [Royal Guards], all the while, taking Melty with him as "hostage".

Then after that, despite Nan openly declaring his intentions towards the King through the [Projection Orb], the damned trash had the gall to increase his bounty as opposed to Nan, meaning that the King himself has it out for him personally, filial relations being damned. As a result, he and this party had to travel around while wearing cloaks over their heads to avoid suspicion.

After that, he then hears rumors of a random nobleman's castle being burnt to the ground, which again, was most likely Nan, but still, the public says [Shield Hero], even if he didn't do jack shit.

So either the King himself was just mental, or Nan was actively sabotaging him for reasons unknown, either possibility seemed likely, although Naofumi himself was sort of biased against the King for having it out on him.

Well, not like any of that matters now, since now of all times, when the three jagoffs, the whore princess and her armed entourage of armed groupies showing up to go after them, Nan shows up out of nowhere, smoking a cigarette, and his gait being reminiscent of a yakuza.

"To what occasion am I rudely interrupting?" Nan spoke out while blowing out a plume of smoke.

Naofumi readies his shield, as Raphtalia readies to draw her blade with Filo looking ready to pounce at a moment's notice.

If there's one thing that Naofumi and his party learned from Nan, that whenever he's involved, it usually means that things are about to escalate beyond anyone's control.

Actually, scratch that.

Even the three dumbasses are looking hesitant to even make a move against Nan, despite him being completely outnumbered.

"Huh, glad they actually have a functioning brain underneath..." Naofumi thought as he rolled his eyes. "... Although the same cannot be said for the bitch in front."

Naofumi's raw hatred towards Malty was slowly starting to turn into pity.

"... At least she'll die braver than the most?" Naofumi thought. "... On second thought, I don't Nan has plans to give her the mercy of a quick death."

Yep. Pity.

Pity the dumb bitch who's soon to be mauled to death by Nan's [Undeads].

"... No one, really?" Nan spoke out. "Not although you're looking fine as usual, princess. Tell me, how's the well-done treatment treating ya?"

"Hmph!" Malty scoffed. "So says the one surrounded by Melromarc's best! The Shield Devil and his party comes quietly, or in chains!"

"... Oh you dumb, dumb, dumb broad." Nan shook his head in disapproval. "After all the time waiting and preparing for us to run into each other once more? Honestly, choco-malt..."

Naofumi then sees Nan lighting another cigarette.

He then sees him blowing out a plume of tobacco-flavored smoke from his mouth before his dull-looking eyes glare at Malty.

"... That really hurt."

Yep.

May the dumb broad of a princess that forsook him and his party to utter damnation die slowly and horrifically. For that is honestly the most humane way that Nan will do with her once he gets his hand around her neck.

"But enough of that." Nan stated. "Before we inevitably try to kill each other and me setting this whole mountain range on fire in the process, let's talk, like civilized people."

"Tch. You honestly have the gall to call yourself civilized!?" Malty barked out. "You, a filthy bandit that goes out of his way to defend the accursed Shield Devil that tried to kidnap the Crown Princess, and the one who defiled me the process!?"

While Naofumi would point out the whore's lies (again), Nan was blowing out another plume of smoke, indicating that he was going to talk again.

"... Three things that you got wrong, sweetie." Nan stated while pointing out three fingers. "Firstly, who want to even stick their cock in you? You, an overused barn sow who fucked more men then I could count, accusing a total virgin like Fumi-chan over there, of rape? Please, I dunno what turns you on more, the horse cocks that you've been fucking since right after your first period? Honestly, you being a tall, busty redhead may sound appealing, but newsflash, been there, done that, and only the most desperate of males would consider banging with a pre-slaughter bovine pussy of yours, you overrated hack of a woman. I'd fuck your mum if I could, but apparently, her fucking a old goat that you call daddy was bit of a dealbreaker."

... Suddenly, the winds stirring in the mountains just a tad colder.

"Master?" Raphtalia spoke out. "... What is this... disgusting, yet horrifying emotion that I'm feeling in my chest right now?"

"... No clue." Naofumi answered hesitantly.

And of course, Motoyasu snaps out of his funk upon hearing Nan openly insult Malty in the most elaborate way possible.

"DON'T YOU DARE-"

"Shaddup, peanut gallery!"

Suddenly, Nan pulls out a gun. He then shoots a magical projectile from the barrel, encasing Motoyasu's whole body from the nose down in a clump of compacted earth.

"Okay, Nan now has a magic gun as a sidearm while we were gone." Naofumi commented. "I'm honestly now bit terrified."

"Now where was I..." Nan mused as he tapped the side of the barrel on his head. "Oh right, second thing you got wrong, compared to not only you, but also the rest of this shithole civilization built upon this fucking rock? I'm comparatively way more civilized then you sorry lot. Sure, I killed people, but I had the decency to make it quick, and I'm not so deluded to think that I'm still some sort of 'hero of the world' even after with all of the blood stained on my hands. Oh no, I chose this on purpose, because I utterly refuse to buy into your crap that the [Waves] are the threat to this world. Oh no no no no no. It's more likely you bastards are more likely to destroy this world before the [Waves] could, which, while I might applaud you for that Übermensch approach, you still intend to play the victims of this little shitshow that you got me into. So instead of being the [Hero] that you all want, I chose to become the villain that you need, because I'm not going to spoil you rotten shitheads at all. Understood?"

"So that it." Naofumi heard Itsuki speak.

"... You know what, I already had my fill with Moto-chan previously, so you know what?" Nan spoke out. "The gaslight's all yours, Tsuki-chan."

The [Bow Hero] then steps up towards the front, confronting Nan.

"So you just admitted that you're evil." Itsuki acknowledged. "Tell me, just how do you think you're going to get away with this? After all the blood you've drowned in? After all the innocents that you've killed? AFTER BEING SUMMONED TO THIS WORLD THAT NEEDS TO BE SAVED FROM CERTAIN DOOM!? JUST HOW IRRESPONSIBLE ARE YOU!?"

Nan simply glares back at the [Bow Hero], before letting out a deep sigh.

"Oh you poor, naive, simpleton." Nan droned out. "Tell me, just why do you think this utter trash heap of a world is worth saving?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Itsuki retorted. "Saving innocent lives is what we [Heroes] do!"

"So says the so-called [Hero] that condemned countless innocents to tyranny and starvation after ousting the only semblance of order left up North." Nan pointed out. "Oh, and P.S., I'm not letting you live down that one. That's gonna stick like tapeworm, buddy."

"What do you mean?" Itsuki growled back.

"That I'm afraid, is spoilers." Nan teased. "You wanna know? Head back up North and see it for yourself, because I'd tell ya buddy, it's a riot."

"Like I said, WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?" Itsuki roared out as he drew his bowsting back. "ANSWER, OR YOU'LL FACE MY WRATH!"

Naofumi then sees Nan arch his back all the way back, laughing his ass off, his laughter howling throughout the moonlit skies above.

"Oh Tsuki-chan, naivety incarnate..." Nan giggled out. "... Never change, for your role as my puppet is well-suited for someone inexperienced as you. But don't take it the wrong way, instead, consider that little humble pie... work experience."

"DIE!"

Itsuki then lets loose a volley of wind arrows towards Nan.

"[Wind Eater]."

The [Forbidden Tome] then lashes out from Nan's wrist, eating every single wind projectile fired towards him.

"And finally! The third thing you got wrong." Nan continued as he nonchalantly dodged Itsuki's barrage uninterrupted. "Okay, suppose if Naofumi is responsible for all the oh-so heinous crimes charged onto him, disregarding the fact that I'm the one causing way more damage to you fucks. You call Naofumi over there a Devil? Bitch please! The poor bastard can't even hurt a [Jackalope] without his sword-aide, in which case you two, please fuck already, Raphtalia's physically past her teens, I think one baby won't kill her, probably."

"EAT A DICK, NAN!" Raphtalia flipped Nan off.

Naofumi was just confused.

"The point being-"

"[EAGLE SHOT]!"

Itsuki fires a massive arrow of wind resembling an eagle towards Nan, only for Grimm to devour it instantly.

"Ok, that's it, young man."

Nan then points his gun towards Itsuki's direction.

"You need a time-out."

The gun then fires Itsuki's previous skill, [Eagle Shot], which then sends the [Bow Hero] flying off of his feet, colliding against Motoyasu's earthbound prison.

"There we go, now I shall continue on." Nan stated. "So what if Naofumi allegedly raped Malty? No one likes her, so no one give a shit. So what if he owns a slave or two? Hey, not my problem, especially if this kingdom ain't doing anything but lip service to ban slavery, not stop it, so until the institution is wiped clean of hypocrites, no one gonna give a shit. So what if Naofumi has the ability to potentially brainwash people? How about instead of this farce of a witch trial, why don't I, the real villain of this show, give you sods a demo?"

Naofumi then see's Nan's right eye begin to glow red.

"RAPHTALIA! FILO! DON'T LOOK-"

"[Geas: Puppeteer]."

A flash of red light emits out of Nan's right eye, engulfing the whole surrounding area in an unholy light.

The light fades, and nothing changed-"

"Now if I remember how this went back in Episode 1..." Nan mumbled to himself right before he clears his throat and begins to do... something.

"Mimimimimimimimimimiiiiii..." Nan sang out right before he spat out a loogie. "Perfect."

Malty meanwhile, Naofumi noticed her trying to save face afterwards, right before she returns to her haughty self.

"HA! IT SEEMS THAT YOU'VE FAILED!" Malty boasted out triumphantly. "KNIGHTS OF MELROMARC! KILL THE FILTHY BANDIT THEN THE SHIELD HERO!"

... It was oddly quiet, for usually, when Naofumi sees Malty belly out orders, it was usually followed up by the sounds of their clanking boots then their weapons being drawn.

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME!?" Malty barked out. "I SAID, KILL HIM!"

Naofumi then notices something was off about the knights. Their already-dead and soulless eyes were even more dead and soulless.

Naofumi then looks at Raphtalia and Filo.

Both of their eyes have gone pure-white blank after the blast of light.

"Sorry princess."

Naofumi looks back at Nan, now his gait being less thuggish swagger and more... princely suaveness, overly dramatic pose with his right hand over her red right eye notwithstanding.

"What did you do to them!?" Ren asked Nan.

Nan then strikes a different pose, revealing a left arm under his tattered cloak.

"Since when did he get another arm!?" Naofumi wandered while looking at the chain-wrapped arm with paper around the forearm section.

"You know, discount-Kirito-kun, I would tell, but like I said, I think a proper demonstration is more warranted." Nan stated in a more smooth voice compared to his usual semi-deadpan tone.

His right eye begins to glow red once more, as if Nan has become an amalgamation of every single chunnibyou's off-the-wall fantasies come to life, in the worst way imaginable.

"I, Nan-Hon Jah, the [Tome Fallen] command all you... die."

Naofumi then hears giggling.

... Coming from Raphtalia.

Then Filo.

Then he even then hears the knights giggling.

"Wh-WHAT SO FUNNY!?" Malty barked out in desperation. "MY ORDERS WERE CLEAR! KILL HIM-"

"Orders?" The knight in the front spoke out in a deranged tone. "From you?"

The knight bursts out into insane laughter, right before the rest of the knights and even Raphtalia and Filo all burst out laughing, devolving into a cacophony of maddened fits of laughter that threw all semblance of sanity straight out of the window."

"WE DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU, PRINCESS!"

All of the knights and Raphtalia draw their blades in unison, with Filo putting on her [Dwarven Gloves].

"Glad the message got through." Nan stated in a smug tone. "Now what were all your orders? Oh right, kill yourselves with your own weapons."

"HAPPILY, YOUR HIGHNESS!" All of them shouted out in unison.

The knights pierce their throats with their own blades, spraying out blood like a sanguine geysers all over Malty and the rest of the [Three Heroes], painting their faces in deep red.

Naofumi then turns his head Raphtalia about to do the same.

"NO!"

He tackles her down, knocking her sword off her grip, and pinning her down.

"RAPHTALIA! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Naofumi begged right before he heard gagging sound.

... Coming from Filo, who was now choking herself with her gloves granting increased strength.

"FILO! NO!" Naofumi roared out.

He then had no choice.

He had to invoke the [Slave Crest].

"FILO! RAPHTALIA! BY MY ORDERS, CALM DOWN!"

... The [Slave Crest] weren't reacting at all.

"Huh, so my [Geas] overwrites [Slave Crest]'s authority." Nan commented as he watched the struggle. "Good to know... Good to know..."

"JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Naofumi yelled at Nan.

"Experimenting." Nan dispassionately replied as he took notes in his tome's pages. "Just wanted to know what kind of shit my new eye can do, so might as well try it out at the opportunity given. Although, I didn't know that my [Geas] was this potent... Let's try something else."

Nan then opens the pages of his sentient [Forbidden Tome].

"Bud, Lou, Harley."

At the snap of his finger, a massive three-headed dog was [Summoned], letting out a resounding howl to the moon.

Raphtalia's thrashing then slowly begins to cease, then turns into hysterical screaming upon seeing the [Cerberus].

"RAPHTALIA!" Naofumi asked. "IT'S OKAY! I'M HERE! I'M HERE!"

"... Master Naofumi-OH MY GOD, FILO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

... Thought he'd forgot something.

"OH CRAP!"

The two then try to restrain Filo from strangling herself from her own enhanced grip.

"COME ON, FILO! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"FILO! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"NEVER! I MUST END MY LIFE FOR MASTER NAN WILLS IT!"

Switching POV: Nan

"Huh, so resurfacing past trauma is enough to break through a [Geas]..." I noted. "Granted, not a very healthy option, but beggars can't be choosers-"

"NAAAAAN!"

Grimm intercepts the cheap shot from Motoyasu, now freed from his [Sand Coffin].

"YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR! MAKING MY LITTLE ANGEL KILL HERSELF!" Motoyasu roared out in fury. "IN THE NAME OF ALL THE FEMALES IN THE WORLD, I'LL PUNISH YOU-"

"Sorry, more of a Symphogear fan." I replied. "So get that Sailor Moon bullcrap out of my face, ya wanker."

With my left arm, I deliver an electrically-charged punch to his metal codpiece.

Fun fact, metal conducts electricity.

Because boo yah, I just topped circumcision. Eat a buffet of dicks, Mr. Over-Compensation.

The main entree is his Swedish Meatballs from IKEA.

But enough of the entree, time for the main course.

Mainly, Malty.

"Bud, Lou, Harley, sic em."

The [Cerberus] then attacks the other two [Heroes], clearing the way for me and Malty to just talk.

"St-STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Malty screeched out as she pulled out her own shiv/[Silver Rapier].

"A knife fight?" I grinned as I approached her. "Count me in!"

I draw out by [Sacrificial Dagger] and dashed towards her ass.

Her thin blade is thrusted towards me, but said blade was dumb enough to get caught between my [Silver Wolf's Maw].

With her sword stuck, I shank the bitch under her rib.

... No response.

As expected.

But first, I snap her blade with my metal jaw, pull my dagger out, and shift away from her quickly as possible.

"... Hmph, thought so." I commented as I sheathed my dagger.

I think I see Malty trying to talk, but apparently, she's too much of a wuss to bite through a single stab wound.

"... You okay, honey?" I asked.

I was then replied with a bloody spit to the face as she cauterizes her stab wound with her [Fire] magic.

"Okay, good, now finally we can talk-"

A [Fireball] flies past my face.

"Oi come on-"

Another passes by, cutting me off.

"Now is really not the time-"

She then comes at me screaming with her broken blade.

"Okay, that's it."

I stomp-kick her face back into the dirt, for even my patience has their limits.

"... Look Malty." I stated while crouching down to her bloodied and bruised face. "The truth is Malty, I kinda find you rather... fascinating as a human being. In fact, you're the almost-perfect human being that I've ever laid my eyes on. If it weren't for your short-sightedness that you got from your old man and your vindictive streak from your mother's side, I would've asked you out, no questions, and previous insults aside, I really do want to know you who you really are. So answer me this; just what is your end goal? All this suffering? All these acts of sheer cruelty. All of these acts of reckless abandon, thinking that the whole world revolves around you when you even haven't gotten started on earning it. To what end, what are you trying to accomplish?"

"... A bandit... like you... should be honored... to even lick... my boots..."

"Aw. That hurt."

I lift her up from her neck with my left hand.

"I mean, allow me to go out on a limb and resort to crapshooting your motive. May I?" I asked as nicely as I could, for my civility was starting to become a little strained around her.

Silver lining, I might've set a record for the kind of person who can deal with Malty the longest.

"... I'll take your silence as a 'yes', then." I stated. "For starters, your younger sister is looked upon more favorably than you, but surely, considering the age gap between you two, it couldn't just be from the fact that you weren't born evil. Now, while I would like to state the fact that you've might've been born evil or you're just another product of your environment, need I remind you that I'm a man of logic and reason, so I'd like to investigate properly so that I may reach a concise conclusion. So allow me to present my findings from what information that I've gathered."

I clear my throat before speaking.

"Firstly, it seems that while your mother is a decent enough politician to prevent a flat-out world war between all of the major powers on this continent, it seems that judging from how you've adjusted, your mum seemed to be emotionally negligent at best, causing you to develop a sociopathic mindset as a coping measure to distract yourself from the lack of attention from your adolescence, with the only thing providing you solace was the whole [Four Cardinal Heroes] Church, but even then, you saw an opportunity amidst the brink, didn't you? Combined with the fact that Melromarc is a Matriarchy, and the fact that your daddy dearest was too predisposed from him unable to bang his older sister before the demi-humans could resulted in you growing up rotten without anyone there to teach you how the world really works. Honestly, you make the spoiled brats from Dr. Phil look docile in comparison, for at least they didn't get past second base whereas you made Gilles de Rais look like a total virgin in comparison, which by the way, may I point out that the sick fuck raped children to death, and yet you somehow came out worse, which I don't know if I should be impressed or disturbed. Maybe both, considering that people like you are apparently a dime and a dozen around these parts. So moving on from that, I take it that you still had some semblance of humanity left in you, but once Melty squirted out of your momma's vagina, she gave her all the love that you never got, and right there, right there, was the breaking point. You, born in the wrong place at the wrong time, was unable to develop properly as a human being, which honestly, In consider it a shame, that such a waste of potential happened, not only because of your slightly-shitty parents, but also your gut being stuck in the quagmire of this world, but honestly, that's perfectly understandable, not that I blame you, but you know, it really can't be helped."

"So that's it then."

I look ahead, and see Melty standing right in front of me, alone.

"Umm, princess? I think you should be elsewhere." I pointed out. "As you can tell, we're in a middle of-"

A half-mangled corpse of a knight with his own sword ran through his neck plopped right between us.

"... Negotiations." I finished. "The [Three Heroes Church] are after your head, so I suggest that you be elsewhere lest you have your head delivered back to your daddy dearest, or worse, the crazed zealots from the [Three Heroes Church] will do something violent to you."

"About that..." Melty trailed off. "... They're already being dealt with as we speak."

A severed head of a redhead male comes flying out from the thrushes and rolls to my feet.

"... Wow. Who'd thunk?" I commented. "So how about a little heart-to-heart with your sis before you two go back to hating each other?"

"Is this your definition of heroism, Nan?" Melty asked in a deadpan tone.

"LOOK, I'M TRYING, ALRIGHT!?" I protested. "YOU KNOW WHAT!? COME WITH ME!"

I storm off to where [Cerberus] was at, whom the triplets were faring decently well with the [Three Heroes], with Melty by my side.

By faring well, I mean completely curb-stomp the poor bastards.

"Alright, Arkham Triplets, take five, let the others handle the three schmucks." I ordered the [Cerberus] back to my side as I brought out my [Chimera], [Salamander], and [Lich Swordmaster]. "Also for good measure..."

I place my hand on [Lemegeton] and get the following hand.

Two of Spades

Two of Clover

Ten of Diamond

Three of Heart

Two of Diamond

"Good enough." I noted. "[Three of a Kind]."

I unleash [Lizard Daemon], [Armadillo Daemon], and [Bee Daemon] from their TCG prisons.

[Lizard Daemon] was a massive [Lizardman]-like monster with dull-blue-cobalt-colored scales, around its right wrist was a jagged katar-like blade under its shoulder, and its long and thick tail was covered in sharp silver armor platings that made its tail resemble a whip-sword.

[Armadillo Daemon] was a massive, robotic-looking armadillo-like creature, its gunmetal-black-colored shell covering its entire back as it should, and its fingers were literal gun barrels, with several ammo belts feeding through the back of its hands.

And finally, the [Bee Daemon] was a red-eyed, chrome-gold colored insectoid with a massive, jet-black stinger erected from its ballista-like left arm, and floating above the other two's [Daemon]'s heads with its translucent wings, buzzing and hovering like an attack chopper ready to fire.

"Alright boys!" I barked out, rallying the [Chimera], [Salamander], [Lich Swordmaster], [Lizard Daemon], [Armadillo Daemon], and [Bee Daemon]. "Sic em."

The [Three Heroes] are now occupied, and now, time for me to cease fire on my [Geas].

Mana's almost out, and the maintenance cost is a bitch.

"Alright, that's enough." I then snap my fingers.

[Geas: Puppeteer] ceases, and Filo lets go of her own neck, now bruised purple.

"Okay, so who knows CPR-"

I was then greeted with two fists to my face, but thanks to my superior stats, I wasn't knocked off of my feet.

Still hurts though. Can't turn that off, as much as I wanted to.

"... Okay, also deserved that one." I pointed out as I honked out a wad of blood from my nostrils. "And to be fair, I wasn't even aiming for your party."

Again, another punch to the face and a kick to the balls courtesy of dear ol' Raphtalia.

"Just shut up." Naofumi snarled out as he pumped Filo's chest, readying CPR. "Just shut up for one second and give a reason why I should even believe in what you say, especially after what you just did to Raphtalia and Filo."

"Because the alternative is certain death." I pointed out. "Remember, it's not just the king himself that wants your entire party dangling in the gallows, but also the goddamn Church and by extension, the entire kingdom of lemmings that are under control of the aforementioned two powers. I went out of my way to provide you and your motley crew a back-alley passageway out of the shitheel country, so to my credit, it's you that owes me. Hell, I even burnt down an entire manor and the noble family in it to draw heat away from you, but evidently, the king still thinks that you're responsible, but I been hearing rumors that he's quickly losing support from the nobles, so better a slow burn then a quick boom boom."

I then hear Filo gagging and hacking out several coughs upon her waking up.

"Evening, sunshine." I greeted the [Filolial]. "Would like to chat, but I advise you and your party get the hell out while I'm holding the ground."

"And why should we trust you?" Raphtalia asked with a scrutinizing tone. "After what you just pulled?"

"Just trust me." I replied vaguely. "Because honestly, I have no idea what I'm even doing is going to even work, but considering that Filo survived her own strangulation which is strong enough snap a normal person's neck like dry pretzel stick, I think you and your party can tough out what's coming. The only thing I'm totally certain about? Siltvelt will welcome you and your company in open arms. Oh, and the Queen herself is by the borders, so I entrust you with her safety? Because the way things are going for me, I don't think her chances of survival are gonna be favorable with all the firefights I might get into. That, and I kinda promised the Queen that Melty would be back with her, and combined with the fact that I rather not retrace my steps after my little... say fireworks show-"

"... I can't believe I'm listening to an absolute lunatic." Naofumi sighed out. "Look, I'll do it, just what's in it for me?"

I toss him the [Crown of Damnation] towards his [Legendary Shield], transforming it into a red and gold horned, spiked kite-shield with runes that resembled a roaring dragon's visage, with a jet-black gemstone at the center.

"... [Tyrant Dragon Shield]?" Naofumi pointed out at the wicked-looking shield, only for it to transform into a silver and purple kite-shield with a spiked ball and chain attachment around the wristguard. "And a [Damned Prisoner Shield]?"

"I suppose that's enough a substantial service fee?" I asked. "That's what I found in the castle I just raided a few days back, and let me tell ya, I had to earn it."

"I'm honestly surprised that I'm doing this for two shields that only make me look like even more like a thug." Naofumi glowered.

"Oh come on, back at the states, people are into the nitty-gritty anti-heroes. I mean, why else would they even make Batman V.S. Superman a thing?" I pointed out.

"Wait, what?" Naofumi commented.

"Nevermind that." I commented. "Although on a side note, Filo might've suffered minor brain damage from oxygen deprivation, so... yeah. Sorry about that."

"DID I HEAR WHAT!?" I heard Motoyasu scream out from a distance, which said distance was growing more scant with each passing second. "YOU'LL ANSWER FOR ALL THE ANGELS OF THE WORLD IN BLOOD NAN!"

I then toss Melty onto the carriage behind Naofumi.

"RUN LIKE THE FUCKING WIND, NAOFUMI!" I pleaded desperately. "RUN BEFORE PEDOBEAR CATCHES FILO!"

And with that, the [Shield Hero] was gone, and Motoyasu still refuses to stop bolting after the dust cloud left behind.

"Oh no you don't." I spoke out. "BYAKKO!"

"On it." The [Homunculus Hermit] states as he runs out of the foliage.

We both run towards Motoyasu from opposing ends, our arms stretched out and ready to commence another badass move.

"DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE CROSS-BOMBER!"

Upon making contact with both of our arms, Moto-chan was sent flying into the air, spinning like a propeller before landing on his head in a screw-like spiral while falling.

"Oh, poor Motoyasu..." I waxed poetically ala Shakespeare. "He died as he lived; screwing himself over, falling for everything with a pair of holes between its legs."

... Oh bugger off, I can also double-duty Mozart.

"Alright, one down, two to go." I muttered while grinning. "Let's finish em off."

I let out a whistle, signaling Alpha, Beta, and Chi to come out hiding and start unleashing hell alongside with the rest of the [Summoned] pack.

Alpha and Beta commence a coordinated strike with [Scythe] and [Mace] in hand, knocking back the [Sword Hero], giving the [Lich Swordmaster] to deliver the final blow.

I then see the [Sacred Sword] get sent flying off of Ren's hands, leaving him weaponless and ripe for a finisher.

"Byakko, if you will."

He kneels down, cups both of his hands as I ran towards him, right before I jumped onto his hands like a springboard, throwing me up into the air, with Grimm lashing out his chains towards the unarmed [Sword Hero], anchoring me towards him as I threw my head back, and body slam-headbutt the poor bastard's nose into the dirt, taking him out.

"THAT'S TWO!" I roared out triumphantly. "NOW FOR THE BOY SCOUT-WANNABE!"

Itsuki was currently being peppered with bolts and bullets from my other two [Daemons] and Chi, who was currently blasting Itsuki's arrows out of the air, whereas my [Salamander] and [Lizard Daemon] were performing a combo attack, with the [Daemon] scraping its tail blade on the ground as it was spinning, with the [Salamander] readying a [Fireball] attack, unleashing a [Combo Skill: Ignition Slash], a flaming slash projectile that cut down the tree that Itsuki himself was hiding behind, leaving him wide open.

And in the great wisdom of Travis Touchdown, another wrestling move as a finisher.

And this time, I ran though the explosions like Nick Fury (pre-Ultimate Marvel), slide right behind the hapless [Bow Hero], grab him from behind, and remembering the sensation that I felt back at the very first [Dungeon] that me and my party conquered...

"German..."

I lift up the 16-year old [Hero]-wannabe.

"SUPLEX CITY, BITCH!"

I torque my whole body behind myself, driving his head into the ground with all of my might.

... And the best part? I don't have any obligations to pay for their collective brain damages! They wanna sue? Then I'll see em at court-oh wait, there is no court, unless one counts the gallows and numerous execution grounds as such.

God, Melromarc needs to put in better investments...

"And with that, we're done." I stated. "But as our dear princess stated, there seem to even more bad people are on our way to make our lives miserable..."

"Meaning?" Byakko asked.

I simply grin.

"Inform the others the following, find somewhere wet." I stated. "It's gonna get a little warm."

"... Understood."

The faithful butler of mine then heads off into the foliage.

"Alright then." I stated as I stretched out my hands. "Chi, longshot, but can your guns shoot flares?"

"I dunno, can yours?" Chi snapped.

"Alright then, we shoot at three." I stated as I loaded my [Grimoire Heart]. "THREE!"

We both fire our guns into the air, with my bullet shooting a [Meteor Blast], while Chi's shots were white-hot flares.

"WAIT, YOU HAD FLARES THIS WHOLE TIME!?" I asked in Chi in surprise.

"Eh, just wanna mess with ya." Chi replied. "And hey, you got what you wanted, so what's the plan?"

The [Three Heroes Zealots] come swarming towards us.

"IT'S THE [TOME FALLEN]!"

"DEATH THE HERETIC!"

"TO THE ETERNAL FLAMES WITH YOU-"

*BANG*

A [Stone Spike] shot through the maniac's head, killing him dead.

"... Buy them time." I stated as I brought out my [Blade Balloons] and [Ifrit]. "Time to farm, folks."

"THERE'S ONLY ONE OF... one of you?"

Yeah. Bravado tends to fall flat when there's a literal fire demon staring down at your soul.

"D-DON'T FALTER!" The alleged leader cried out. "HE'S NO SHIELD DEVIL! HE'S JUST A FILTHY HERETIC!"

"... Oh right and wrong you are, unenlightened one." I stated smugly. "You're right. I'm not Naofumi. I'm not kind underneath the gruff exterior, I don't give two shits what people think of me, and above all else, I have zero intentions of saving people from the [Waves]. Instead, what do you get when you rip a man away from his treatment, away from his family back home, and marooned into this crazy-ass world where all logic and common sense go to die, only to be replaced by blind faith and paranoia of all things outside of your little hole?"

I was mildly surprised to see them take a step back upon hearing my question, but their expressions of blindness still does not cease.

"Who cares of what you heretics say!?" The leader barked out. "You and your friends are die here anyway!"

"... Two things." I replied while giving the v-sign. "First, why do you expect that I'm going to be one who'll bite the dust? Granted, you could, but last I checked..."

*BANG*

*THUD*

"... I got a pair of functioning hands and the goddamn Second Amendment."

I twirl my gun and hoist it back in. Thank you Stephen King for the Dark Tower.

"And second..." I stated. "You honestly think, and I cannot stress this enough, that a friggin' [Shield]-wielder is more of a threat then me? ... Wow, like, I feel a little insulted. It ain't easy blowing you all up to kingdom come, and frankly, you think Naofumi out of all people can do it? I swear to god, even Goofy can hit harder, and let me tell ya, he can't do shit."

... No one was convinced. Then again, I doubt this place has even heard of Kingdom Hearts, let alone Disney.

"... *Sigh* Okay, new analogy." I stated. "So if Naofumi is the Devil himself, then what am I, exactly? And no, 'filthy bandit' or anything close to that has done to death before, so come up with some new material if you can. If not, then shut yer damn trap."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, YOU FILTHY BANDIT-"

*BANG*

*THUD*

"Ok, what did I just say-AW FUCK IT!"

I snap my fingers, bringing out every single [Summon] I can currently accommodate right now.

Aabidah, Gaelion, Yaelia, Strelitzia, Rubicante, Baraka, Ishmael, and every last one of my family who's been with me since day one joins the others to come out and play.

And yep, the zealots before now are officially fucked.

"If Naofumi's the Devil, then I am the goddamn Demon King." I declared, as my perfectly-crescent smile gleamed before the night sky. "And since there's no point of talking reason with you fucks, then here's a phrase that your feeble mind can somewhat comprehend; KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!"

And so, my own version of the Hundred Demon March from Japanese Mythology begins.

May the mountain remain standing after all this, for I cannot guarantee it's existence, or at least it's standing after my little festival.

May God bless you sick fucks, for I cannot.

So while I casually walk by the scenery of blood, gore, teeth, fang, mind-rape, and screams of pain and suffering, I talk a few potshots to those who were trying to make a run for it.

And here I thought that the [Three Heroes Church] mooks have no sense of self-preservation, but no, I was proven wrong once more.

... Kind of like how Malty tried to stab my leg again, but I kind shot/melted her shiv off of her hands.

I'm kinda getting good at the whole "magical gunslinger' thing.

"But enough of that, sweetcheeks." I told Malty. "Fret not, I shall not leave you to the wolves."

They did say that greatest of despair is birthed from the precipice of hope.

"... Instead, you're coming with me, in chains."

Grimm constricts her whole body, and I lug her behind my back like a backpack.

"... Hmm, I think we can leave the [Three Heroes] be." I stated to myself. "After all, they can't learn if they're dead. But just to be sure that our encounter was meaningful... Rubicante."

The [Ifrit] shows up next to me after it burns another mook to cinders.

"To what do you require of my services?"

"You know when I said 'kill every last one of them'?" I pointed out. "Let's skip to that part."

"Understood."

The flames around the [Ifrit] begin to intensify in heat.

"Alright then..." I stated. "EVERYONE DUCK AND COVER!"

Everyone that wasn't Rubicante (the three dumbasses dragging behind me included; still need them alive for my future plans after all, I'm not a monster) ran towards the nearest foxhole we can find.

"I call upon the primal flames the origin, as source of thy power, I command all of the radiance of creation to burn everything to the ground!"

The night skies suddenly become like day.

"Incinerate, [Accursed Hellfire]!"

... If I had to describe the next minute, is that it was like that nuke scene from COD4.

"... Anyone not us alive?" I asked out in the desolate wasteland.

No one but Malty (tied behind my back) answered.

"Good." I stated as I tried to get out. "Hot hot hot hot!"

The dirt itself was like touching a hot iron stove.

"Well on the plus side, the situation is in our favor for once..." I muttered to myself. "Finally, we can go home uninterrupted-"

... I then feel a tremor.

"... Grimm." I spoke out. "Please don't tell me that woke up something the size of a mountain."

I was really afraid to look behind me, because for once in my life in another world, I've fallen into the same trap as the three dumbasses by my feet.

"Master, we've awoken what it seems to be... a giant tortoise monster with a shell made of [Adamantium], the strongest recorded natural mineral in the world."

"SONOFA-"

[Adamantortise]

Will Rock You (Like a Hurricane).

"... You know what?" I stated. "This is my fault entirely. So as such is being my fault..."

I activate the [Ten Primordial Sins] once again, sacrificing more levels for a temporary power boost.

"... I'll be back in a few minutes. You guys try and catch up on some sleep." I stated as I floated out of the hole. "Oh, and just in case if those three wake up, knock them back out. Gamera over there is mine."

I then fly off, fully knowing that Malty was still tied around my back.

Now one may ask why I brought soon-to-be-dead weight with me to this life-or-death situation?

What better way to establish discipline, then establish the fact that I hold her safety in my hands?

Simply put, she tries to muck me up mid-boss fight, we both turn into tortoise chow.

Worst-case-scenario, I can just hang her over the tortoise's gaping mouth, see if that scares her straight.

... Or "accidentally" drop her and let her get eaten.

Shut up, I need to hear her in pain.

Switching POV: Byakko

"Everyone, rest if able." The head butler ordered.

"You think he'll be alright?" Chi pointed out. "I mean for fuck's sake, that thing is literally a mobile mountain!"

"Worst-case-scenario, there should be spare [Effigies] back at the [Archive]." Beta pointed. "And just in case, I brought one with me-"

The clay doll depicting Nan shatters.

"That... cannot be anything good." Suzaku pointed out. "Is Nan alright!?"

Seiryu then sniffs the air.

"He's alive..." Seiryu spoke out. "Albeit a little burnt, but that's pretty much every Tuesday at this point."

The butler stares at the group with a blank-yet-judgmental expression.

"... Well, Alpha helped me out making these, so we made plenty to go around!" Beta nervously reassured.

"And exactly how many is plenty?" Byakko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"... We forgot." Alpha replied. "But last I checked, we were at 34?"

"Oh bloody hell." Byakko sighed out. "I'll see to the others, and if anyone else would like to step in, then let them, for I shall deal with my master's wrath afterwards."

A stream of violet flames light the night skies.

"... So it breathes fire too." Byakko mumbled. "Well, orders are orders."

He then saw the ponytailed [Spear Hero] trying to wake up, but swift stomp to the back of his head and puts him back to rest.

He then hops into another trench, where they find the rest of the party members, drenched head-to-toe in blood and gore, the ex-nobles included.

"Well it seems you're all faring well." Byakko pointed out. "How are you all doing tonight?"

"Can we go at least a whole day without some maniac trying to kill my whole family just because I married a demi-human!?" Malva whimpered out, her face and dress splattered with fresh blood. "And moreover, where's Melty!?"

"I think that's the least of our worries, Lady Hakuko." Byakko replied bluntly. "As for the Crown Princess, she's in good hands with the [Shield Hero] and his party."

Malva sighs in relief from this partial comfort.

"Well, last I've ever had this much of a workout was back during the war." Khronos sighed out. "My son managed to get in a few more kills then me, but that's what happens when he was trained by the best."

"Oh father, I wasn't that impressive." Fohl replied meekly. "Big bro Garou had the biggest body count out of all of us combined."

"Well, my own big bro taught me how to kill, so there's that." Garou shrugged. "But for a sheltered noble kid, you catch on quick."

"Can you two please stop talking about comparing kill counts?" Atlas begged. "Just hearing it after seeing into every one of those hooded people's thoughts are nauseating enough as it is..."

The blind white tiger-demi-human then vomits.

"... We're doing fine." Fubuki replied. "The others are in the other ditch."

"Noted."

The butler dashes across the wasteland and slides into another foxhole.

"And how do you folk are faring in all this?" Byakko asked the [Heroes] from the alternate universe.

"You know, I'm this close to retracting my previous statement about Nan." Glass glowered. "But an attack from religious zealots that worship those three weaklings that they call [Heroes]? Suddenly, everything that the psychopath said is starting to become a bit more valid."

"And I kinda now understand why the wolf-kid told me to start doubting everything I know." L'Arc pointed out. "As much of a sucker for a punch-out as I am, even I'm not crazy enough to take on that thing, especially solo."

An explosion was heard, along with the slight scent of sulfur.

"... Evidently, that thing's also part-volcano." Theresa pointed out. "If Nan somehow manages to live by the end of this, someone please kill me."

"I would if I had the strength, you bitch..." Wyndia groaned out before passing out.

"Don't worry, she's just tuckered out." Rino sighed out. "I mean, she was the one who killed the first wave of soldiers while Nan was in the manor negotiating."

"Yeah, her penchant for bloodlust is astonishing." Rio stated. "Oh, and my [Chokuto]'s blade is chipped almost halfway in, so... yeah, gonna need a replacement, and fast."

"And for the rest of the infantry?" Byakko asked.

"Only nine of us out of all of us." A blue-haired girl spoke out while wrapping her bleeding arm with a spare tourniquet. "Bastards are getting more vicious by the day..."

"Kinda sucks when we can't catch up..." A girl with the shoulder-length chestnut hair sighed out. "I mean, sure, we're glad to help and all, but we're starting to get way over our heads..."

Another flash of violet light shines in the night sky.

Byakko sighs out as he takes out his [Cleric's Cane].

"Show me all of your injuries. Can't heal them when I can't see em."

Switching POV: Melty

Okay, for Melty, the whole day was just weird.

But if there's any consolation, was that Naofumi was significantly more well-adjusted compared to her previous host.

Not only that, Nan has also forgotten to fill her in on the details about the kids he rescued, so it's a good time to ask.

"So why is Nan entrusting us with the Crown Princess's life after what he just did to us?" Raphtalia asked. "I mean, I still can't get a clear read on the friggin' lunatic!"

"Forget it, it's not worth mulling over." Naofumi pointed out. "Doing so is just stressful enough as is."

"Filo's just glad that *cough* that Melty's here!" Filo's damaged voice coughed out.

"Filo, for your sake, just don't strain your voice, okay?" Naofumi requested.

Filo nods in acknowledgement.

"... By the way, how long is it until we get to this so called 'checkpoint'?" Naofumi asked Melty.

"By our current pace and road, I'd say until next afternoon." She answered.

"Dammit, and not a moment of rest..." Naofumi grumbled out as he tightened the grip on the reins. "Can things get even worse-"

*BOOM*

Behind the carriage that Filo was pulling, a fiery mushroom cloud erupted into the night sky.

"... Forget what I said." Naofumi sighed out in resignation. "Melty, just get some sleep if you can."

"What if there's anyone tailing us?" Melty asked. "I mean surely, not all of them were killed from that explosion alone-

*RUMBLE*

The tremors quake the earth beneath them, and amidst the tremors, Melty swore she just saw a mountain move.

"... Me and my big mouth."

She then curls herself into a ball as she tries to get some sleep.

... If she can that is, from the sounds of more explosions and eruptions akin to an active volcano.

Switching POV: Rio

"... Am I the only one who thinks that this whole shit is just getting weirder by the minute?" Rio spoke out.

"We just fought a bipedal dragon a few days back right after we raided some asshole noble's mansion." Rino spoke out. "As far as I'm concerned, I don't give a fuck."

"Eh, I kinda like it this way." Wyndia shrugged as she cleaned out her [Bulletstorm] double-barrel shotgun. "It's sort of fun killing people that deserve it, and it's also a good time to bond with my mom and dad."

"Yeah... I don't think that's a healthy way to do it." Rio pointed out.

"Now that you mention it..." Theresa spoke out. "Rio, I've heard rumors that the [Sword Hero] was your lover. Is that true?"

"... Yeah." Rio replied solemnly. "At least, I think we still are..."

"If he is, you really need to find someone else." Glass pointed out. "From my first impressions, he fails to impress in all aspects."

"Oh come on, he's not that bad!" Rio protested.

"Enough of that." L'Arc cut in. "Hey, so how did you two meet?"

Upon hearing that question, Rio froze.

"Hey, earth to Rio, you hear us?"

She couldn't hear anything at all.

Her mind begins to flash images of another fantasy-like RPG world.

The [Kobold King, Illfang].

The [Taurus Triplets, Nato, Baran, and Asterios].

The [Corrupted Treant, Nerius].

The [Infernal Vanguard, Gleam Eyes].

The [Skull Reaper, Hyakkushi (Hundred Deaths)].

Besides her was a black-haired youth who's admired a certain player of the game that they were trapped in.

From the first floor to their last, he'd tried to emulate him, from his clothing to his fighting style.

All the while, Rio just went along, for in their prison of certain death, hope was what he needed.

And in hindsight, she once tried to emulate a certain female player in the game as well, once opting out her exceeding-rare [Muramasa+] from a secret boss that she had to slay alone in [Floor 47] for a cheaply-bought [Platinum Rapier].

... She went back to her [Muramasa+] after the rapier broke, and that she once tried to apply for the [Knights of Blood Oath], only to get rejected by her idol, of all people.

So while she herself was slightly disillusioned by her so-called hero after seeing her true nature, the youth still admired his hero, even after his true face was revealed during the livestream by the [Aincrad Liberation Front], thinking that it was "cool".

... In hindsight, she really should tried to get him out of his hero-worship, but by the time she considered it, they were at the opposite sides of [Floor 75], with their spines and nerves held hostage.

After she and the youth got booted out of the game and went back to their homes, she threw out every single "Back to the Future" Blu-Ray she had.

It was only around several months later that she would meet the youth in person, being picked on by some pricks in the hall.

Before they can isolate him, Rio jump-kicked one of them down before taking the boy towards elsewhere.

"... Excuse me. Just who are you?"

"Wait, after that life and death situation a few months back, you've already forgotten about me?"

"... Wait a minute, you're Murasame!?"

"Name's Rio! Rio Murasame! So what's yours?"

"... I'm Ren. Ren Amaki."

"So where you've been all this time? I've been looking for you for the past several months!"

"... At home, still playing with my old NerveGear. Just got into Brave Star Online: Beta Testing. I know, it's kinda creepy, ever since I just got out of SAO..."

"... *sigh* To each their own, I guess. Not for one second, and suddenly, you're already doing something else on your own, just like back at SAO."

"I dunno, I just don't want others to get hurt because of me."

"... Tell you what. I become your friend, so that you don't get hurt because of me. But in return, you got to promise me that you stop blaming yourself for everything, got it?"

She then remembers the punch that she threw against the punk that tried to blindside Ren on the rooftop.

"... Let her go, you two." Rio heard Theresa sighing out. "It's clearly personal, seeing that he's on their side, by the looks of things."

"... Just why?" Rio asked. "Why Ren?"

Her eyes begins to tear up.

The last time she saw Ren was when he stood between her and one of the holders of the [Death Gun] moniker.

... Her chest begins to throb in pain in remembering how she ended up in this crazy world.

"You idiot..." Rio whimpered out. "... You big, colossal, idiot."

Suddenly, the ground quakes once again, followed up by a low droning cry.

"Hey look!" The white-haired infantry cried out as she looked out into the burning wastes. "I think bossman did it!"

Rio, along with everyone else, climbs out of their foxholes to see Nan emerge victorious.

... Minus one leg, with his hostage acting as his crutch.

"Sup my niggas." Nan spoke out. "Guess who joined our family?"

... The insane motherfucker actually did it.

He actually soloed a monster size of a mountain.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet... KAIDO!"

The [Adamantortoise] roars out in response.

"Holy shitsnacks..." Rio gasped out. "What the hell happened to you!?"

Nan simply smiles.

"I've been crushed, impaled, burnt to death, suffocated, crushed, emasculated, got my leg chewed off, crushed, and got repeatedly killed off several times, during the same hour." Nan summarized his collective injuries from the fight with the [Admantortoise] while pressing her gun behind the redhead's head. "On the plus side, I'm not the only one who's changed drastically; check this out."

Behind Nan, several unfamiliar figures emerged from the smoke.

The first was a creature similar to an [Ifrit], but it was more slender, covered in more demonic-looking black armor with blood-red runes, and its orangish-red flames were now a malevolent blue.

The next was a literal five-headed dragon-like creature, each head having a pair of goat-like horns on top of their serpentine visage, and filled around their collective necks were rows of dark-brown pufts of leomane fur.

Another looked like an upgraded version of Nan's more prevalent enforcers, Ishmael, still keeping the whole geometric design of white and gold, but now its wings were wider and there were three pairs of them behind its back, its white chassis was trimmed with more gold, its entire head now replaced with a torch burning an eternal blue flame, it's now bearing four sets of arms, each carrying a golden broadsword with lines of sky-blue energy by both of its edges, a golden tome with sky-blue hardlight pages, a golden Desert Eagle-like pistol with angelic wings carved into its sides, and a golden staff that resembled a Khakkhara, but its rings were adorned with small church bells.

The next was the recent three-headed hound monster, but now bigger, its fur was now black with lines of burning red running across it, its collective three heads were now literal dog-skulls set on fire, and its tail was now a cobra.

And finally, imposed behind a full moon was clearly Gaelion, but now its reptilian features were now mostly replaced with whale-like attributes, its chin was now bearing a magnificent, snow-white beard that glimmered against the moonlight, it now has an additional set of dragon-like wings, its pair of horns were now replaced by a narwhal-like monohorn, giving it a celestial, and almost... sacred presence, as if she wants to bow before its majesty.

"Say hello to Rubicante, from [Ifrit] to an [Iblis]! Next is Iliad, from [Chimera] to a [Hydra]! Then Ishmael, from [Dominion] to [Seraphim]! Our new rising star, the Arkham Triplets, from a [Cerberus] to [Cerberus Hades]! And finally, our most-hyped [Evolution] ever since its introduction, GAELION! FROM A MERE [DRAGON EMPEROR], TO THE EVER BADASS [BAHAMUT EMPEROR]!"

Nan then fires a shot from his magic gun, shooting literal fireworks, with roars of Nan's [Evolved] [Summons] let out their victorious roars.

"... Think you might have a problem." Rio pointed out.

"Yeah Rio, it's called being in the Danger Zone-"

*THUD*

All of them look down at Nan, his cheek laid against the waste, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head, but his [Summons] still active outside.

"Is he all right?" L'Arc asked. "Kid took a hell of a beating... I'm actually impressed."

"Well, on the plus side, we have a [Bahamut Emperor], a [Cerberus Hades], a [Hydra], an [Iblis], a [Pazuzu], a [Seraphim] and an [Adamantortoise] on our side, so I don't think anyone's going to cross us for a good while." Chi pointed out. "By the way, who are we missing?"

... Now that he mentioned it, Nan's shoulder was more bare then usual-

All of them hear the sound of screaming coming from above as it got closer to them.

*THUD*

"... Found him." Rio pointed towards the half-buried [Gremlin], right before plucking it out of the earth. "Come on, let's all go home."

"Wait!" Garou spoke out. "What do we do about those three dumbasses?"

The [Three Heroes], including Ren, were still in the foxhole that Nan threw them into.

Rio looks at the [Sword Hero], trying to find any semblance of the old Ren she once knew.

... Ren died on that day. Before her was just another puppet named the [Sword Hero].

"Ditch em." Rio stated. "We don't need them, but Nan would keep them alive for his own ends."

"I got a better idea."

Everyone looks at Genbu, still piss-drunk, and still dangling from Rio's grip.

"Anyone know how to dig?"

Switching POV: Malty

Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold.

Hot...

*SPLASH*

"... COLD!"

The eldest princess finds herself walking up tied to a tree, and completely drenched in ice-cold water.

"Morning, princess."

Malty looks up, and finds a grinning wolf demi-human standing right in front of her, with bucket in hand.

"Sleep well?" The wolf-boy jeered out at her. "If not, I can knock you out right here and pretend nothing happened."

"UNTIE ME, YOU FLEABAG!" She screeched out.

"The latter?" The wolf-boy stated with a sincere-looking smile. "Comin' right up!"

"Wait-"

*THWACK*

She felt a heavy blow strike across her jawline, with few of her molars ripped out of her gums during the impact, right before her consciousness faded away.

"... Why is this happening to me..."

And just for extra humiliation, she glimpsed at her fading vision to see that the fleabag put the bucket that he sprayed water with over her head.

Switching POV: Ren

"... So new kid, how are you holding up after [Floor 1]?"

"... I've could've gone without getting myself nearly killed."

"Yep, I knew buying the NerveGear on launch was a bad idea. Of well, at least I'll have plenty of time to regret it when I get back out."

"... You know that we have 99 Floors left, right?"

"Hey, better than 100. Come on, the exit's that way."

The light then burns into his eyes as he and the mysterious stranger entered [Floor 2].

... Ren opens his upon the sunlight glaring at his eyes, waking him up only find-

"Argh... my everything hurts..."

... A completely desolated wasteland, every single living thing burnt to pitch-black cinders.

"I'm in Hell, am I?" Ren spoke to himself.

He then looks around, only to find Motoyasu and Itsuki buried all the way up to their necks.

He then looks down, only to find out that he himself was also buried up to neck.

"... Yep, I'm officially in Hell." Ren sighed out. "Does Hell have any booze-"

His head bumps into something, revealing it to be the flat of his sword.

"... Well, at least I can get back-wait a minute."

Something was hanging from the handle of his blade.

Ren made out a wooden board hanging by rope.

"Oh God, what does it say!?"

But unknown to him, he wasn't the only one who's received this kind of treatment, much to their eventual horror.

["I'm an edgy little cock-bitch that tried to be cool and all I got was this stupid sign." - Ren]

["I think I'm hot shit, but I'm actually a literal piece of shit." - Itsuki]

["I'm better off not wearing any pants." - Motoyasu]


To Be Continued...


Author's Notes: And with that, the Rampage Arc as come to an end.

A lot of deaths, a lot blood was spilled, and above all else, a lot of catharsis was released in this arc.

What can I say, it was a blast.

Now for a few things IRL:

One, I'm now attending my second semester, and things are treating me well so far.

Two, my health is relatively back to normal, and I can now eat normal food, with the hard exception of raw protein, but I can manage.

And three, I said it once, and I'll say it again; FUCK 2020.

Funimation blacklisted Interspecies Reviewers, Trump got off scot-free during his impeachment trial, the Democrats are not doing so hot (Trump gets four more years, my whole family gets deported back to South Korea), and as far as I'm concerned, I can't even vote to make a difference, due to my whole family being stuck in this whole pre-green card Limbo.

I swear to god, I feel like I'm wading through an entire sea of shit, but maybe that's why I write in the first place.

That, and John Oliver Season 7 and Archer Season 11 cannot come out soon enough.

Also, note, next chapter is going to be a character sheet-intermission.

When it's gonna come out, let me get to my other fics first and I'll deal with it when the time comes.

Also, new [Affixes]:

[Accursed]: Attacks now have 50% chance to drain 10% of target's Mana per hit.

Also, bonus points to whoever can catch all of the references I made to the show, Archer.


Stat Updates (Current Party):


Name: [Rising Conqueror] [Nan Hon-Jah]

Class: [Tome Fallen]

Level: 70

Affinities: [Ten Primordial Sins]

Alignment: Chaotic Mad/Good

Equipment: [Forbidden Tome, Grimm the Heretic], [Grimoire Heart], [Lemegeton], [Sibylline], [Necromancer's Robes]. [Mire Boots], [Wight's Rune of Spite], [Silver Wolf's Maw], [Bandit's Silver Thumb], [Visage of Madness], [Mystic Geas: Puppeteer], [Portable Dragon's Hourglass], [Patron Goddess of Cutting Edge Bitches: Malty (Hostage)]

Battalion: [Scribes/Librarians]

Attack: 84 (+195)

Defense: 80 (+10)

Agility: 78 (+5)

Luck: 71 (+85)

HP: 610 (+95)

MP: 700 (+305)


Name: [Genbu]

Class: ?

Level: ?

Affinites: None

Alignment: ?

Equipment: [Wayward Nomad's Garbs], [Silver Pocket Watch & Chain], [Silver Shortsword], [Silver Buckler], [Fafnir's Flametongue]

Attack: ?

Defense: ?

Agility: ?

Luck: 9,999

HP: ?

MP: ?


Name: [Byakko]

Class: [Hermit]

Level: 58

Affinites: [Fire], [Lightning], [Light]

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Equipment: [Medic's Scalpels], [Cleric's Cane], [Faithful Suit], [Blessed Silver Bracer Platings], [Field Medic's Utility Belt]

Attack: 57 (+20)

Defense: 55 (+100)

Agility: 64 (+30)

Luck: 52 (+50)

HP: 520 (+120)

MP: 520 (+120)


Name: [Alpha]

Class: [Perfected Homunculus Reaver]

Level: 54

Affinities: [Dark]

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Death Scythe]

Attack: 62 (+100)

Defense: 47 (+20)

Agility: 59 (+20)

Luck: 43 (+10)

HP: 360 (+100)

MP: 120 (+100)


Name: [Beta]

Class: [Perfected Homunculus War Mage]

Level: 54

Affinities: [Fire], [Ice], [Lightning]

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Thunder Coil Mace]

Attack: 54 (+80)

Defense: 50 (+10)

Agility: 57 (+20)

Luck: 49 (+20)

HP: 280 (+100)

MP: 550 (+150)


Name: [Chi]

Class: [Perfected Homunculus Brigadier]

Level: 56

Affinities: [Light] & [Dark]

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Equipment: [Faithful Suit], [Weißer-Ritter 9mm Custom], [Schwarz-Drache 9mm Custom]

Attack: 54 (+120)

Defense: 51 (+10)

Agility: 63 (+50)

Luck: 49 (+100)

HP: 270 (+30)

MP: 240 (+50)


So what do you guys think of this Epic?

Will the [Shield Hero] and company make it to Van Reinchott's safe zone?

Will the [Three Heroes] be able to make heads or tails of what just happened?

Will Malty be able to escape the Hell she found herself in?

And where will our Wayward Hero and his party strike next?

Find out in our next (actual) Epic!

Also, please leave a comment or a review, for I'd like to know what my audience are thinking!