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Draconic Fortune

Chapter 19

Enjoy your Stay


It was all so clear now. All her life, Noelle did her best to be what others wanted her to be. A good, well-educated girl with self-restraint. All her life, she skittishly stepped through the world terrified of moving in any direction too fast or too far. She could feel how blind she used to be now.

It took a gaze into the devil's mirror for her to take a step back and examine her situation with a clear mind. Why would what anyone else thought or wanted matter. What mattered was that she got what she felt like having. And that was Susie.

With a mind cleared from all doubts, she had much less trouble pulling through in the dark world. They soon joined together with Kris and with Noelle's newfound confidence, they made it through the rest of the journey home easily.

And settled back in the light world, with no similar misadventures in sight, she approached Susie and asked her out. Now that Noelle was no longer scared, the dragon's recurring drawn-out silence came across to her as more socially awkward than menacing. She wasn't sure whether Susie was fully aware of what Noelle was proposing when she asked her to go to the movies together. She was likely luring Susie into something she didn't bargain for.

But Noelle didn't care. She couldn't fathom her luck. The moment that conversation was done, everything around her seemed more pleasant than otherwise. Quirks and repeated conversations in class felt less tedious, the sun seemed to shine brighter when she walked outside.

Her worries that Susie would forget or otherwise ghost her proved unfounded. They had a wonderful evening and while nothing more happened that evening, she could feel the sparks between them. And it didn't stop there either. They began going out regularly, and before Noelle knew, Susie too wanted to be more than just friends. Everything was exactly as she wanted it.

Noelle's life wasn't perfect. At least it didn't stay perfect for long. For reasons unrelated to Susie, that Noelle avoided thinking about too much, she was soon left without a place to sleep.

She would have defaulted to asking Kris and Toriel to move in with them, but for some reason, ever since she and Susie got together, all that newfound sociability Kris showed in the dark world was gone. In fact, he reclused even further and wound up avoiding talking to anyone. He continued his hobby, but somehow, over time, all Noelle saw was a figure keeping to itself in the corners and shadows of whichever place he resided in.

So asking to live in one room with him was out of the question. Besides, it would have gotten in the way of Noelle and Susie's relationship. They tried both staying at Susie's place, but her life wasn't perfect either.

After a heated exchange with her mother over money and living costs, the entire apartment was covered in dragonfire and spending their lives in its charred ruins was no longer an option either. They were lucky that the impact fell back on Susie's mother and not her. So they just did what they should have done from the get-go. They signed on to collect welfare and were given a tiny apartment in the brick towers north of the school.

They spent more and more of their time in their forever-empty love nest, and less and less outside. Noelle left all her previous hobbies and interests behind. No more games, no more cards, no more books, no more fantasy lore or foreign folklore. There was only her and Susie now. Nothing mattered. They had each other, that was all that mattered. Noelle finally had a strong arm to hang onto, that wouldn't just get sick and pass away.

As the weeks and months passed, the contentment showed in several ways. There was no reason to stay in shape. She had Susie now and Susie wouldn't judge her for gaining weight as long as she didn't judge Susie for it. They were both isolated from anyone that cared about work or grades, so her grades slumped down to Susie's and Kris' level and eventually below that.

But even early on in their relationship, it was clear that Susie was more aware of how Kris was shutting off than Noelle was. Oftentimes at school, when they passed by whichever nook or cranny he had secluded himself in, Susie stopped and looked his way. The first few times, it was just a glance. A moment's hesitation. Seeing him made Susie think about something. Each time, the mere thought of Susie having thoughts she didn't share with Noelle made Noelle nervous.

Nervous enough for Noelle to reflexively grab Susie by the elbow and pull her away from Kris and whatever she was thinking. But little by little, those momentary glances became longing, melancholic stares and the further that progressed, the less willing Susie was to let Noelle just drag her around like that. What made it feel insulting to Noelle, was that whenever asked what those moments were about, Susie would just dismiss it and pretend they didn't happen.

But the worst part about it, was the timing. Those stares, those wordless encounters between Kris and Susie - the way they were more and more drawn-out coincided with how the novelty of Noelle's and Susie's relationship wore off. What she thought was the magic of young love, waned as quickly as it had first appeared.

Almost immediately after they became fully intimate with each other for the first time, that passion wore off really fast. Less time was spent in each other's arms, more time was spent laying about in their apartment, still isolated from the outside world outside school hours, but now isolated from each other as well.

Noelle hoped that with the years this would change. It didn't. Throughout the rest of school it didn't and afterwards, this crushing sensation didn't get better. Neither Noelle nor Susie bothered with college. They had the checks they needed, they had each other Noelle didn't keep any of her old hobbies and interests other than 'having' Susie anyway. Noelle's big hope was that with Kris and Berdly off to university, this feeling Susie obviously had would go away.

Not only did it not go away, Noelle felt it, too. It felt as if something was missing in their lives. Something very, very important, something they didn't want to lose out on. They wanted to feel loved, but somehow, they didn't.

But they had to, right? They had each other after all. Who needed Kris or Berdly, right? The more this feeling crept up on Noelle, the more she tried to distract herself the only way she knew how. By trying harder and harder to reignite her and Susie's relationship.

Even going as far as accosting her for looking at some guy through the window and forcing Susie to pick their physical intimacy back up. She usually did it just by pressuring her into it, but eventually, she resorted to forcing herself onto her physically, as far as it was possible for a meek deer with a strong girl like that. In those instances she relied more on Susie's unwillingness to injure her than on her own strength.

Looking back, she was in a bit of a rush to get overly physical for their age from the get-go. Driven by an uneasy anxiety that Noelle preferred not to spend too much time thinking about. Which was why it took her a long time to get through to realizing that all of it wasn't nearly as great and fulfilling as she had promised herself it would be. Back when all this started.

Back when she and Kris traveled through the dark world. Whenever a more subtle gesture didn't give her the happiness she expected, she hoped overcompensating would do the trick. That was the thought she always had, she just avoided verbalizing it for years.

Maybe she should have sooner.

Kris going to university wasn't permanent. During select times including the holidays, he came home. On one of those snowed in winter days on the path to Christmas, Noelle and Susie stumbled upon him. Noelle was dragging Susie by the wrist to the bus stop. He and Asriel shared a car, but apparently, Asriel needed it for something else.

Counter to her expectation, once, in over half a year, they got to see Kris. And Noelle didn't feel like talking to him at all. She did at first, but seeing Susie's more eager reaction dispelled any familial nostalgia in an instant.

The stubborn dragon was as disinterested in Christmas and gift-giving as she was with everything. "Hey!" But when they came by the area in front of the bench Kris sat on, it was Susie that pulled towards him. Not strongly enough to break free from Noelle's grip, but enough to move to him regardless.

Kris was startled when he looked up to find his old high school friend approach him. "...hey."

Several seconds passed, with Susie and Kris just staring at each other and Noelle staying in place. Awkward seconds. Susie was clearly thinking about what to say and whether to say anything. "S - So...you were in college, right?" He nodded. "So how's college. Is it - is it nice?"

Kris lowered his head again. "It's okay...I guess."

At this point, Noelle stepped in and wrapped her arm around Susie's upper arm to leverage enough force to pull her a step or two away from Kris again. Bringing their slow conversation to a halt. She didn't say a word to him herself. Susie and Kris so much as talking to each other made her very, very uncomfortable. Too uncomfortable to say something at this point.

When the bus did arrive, Kris went to the very back. And once inside, nothing Noelle did could force Susie to sit anywhere other than right next to him.

But it seemed any worries on her part were unfounded. The entire first half of their trip to the city was completely quiet. Only when the green grass ceased and the concrete to all sides began, did Kris pick up where they left off. "So...what were you two doing while I was in college."

Noelle already reached around Susie's neck in preparation to pull her into a hug and answer with emphasis on how busy and content they definitely were, but Susie seemed to anticipate it and spoke up loudly enough to shut her up. "Nothing. I mean, nothing really, just sorta...hanging around."

"Really?"

"Yeah?"

They spent more time watching the streets pass by. "I mean...if you aren't doing anything...I'm still here for a few days. We could do something. What about the movies? We could go to the movies."

Even if she didn't say anything, Noelle could see in her eyes the desire to agree to hang out. She didn't like the thought of Susie hanging out with Kris and her no-where around to keep an eye on Susie. What he might do. So for showing interest even if with her face only, Noelle shot her a scolding glare.

Usually, this would have been enough to deter her from showing interest in interacting with any guys in their surroundings. This time, it wasn't. "Sure. Why not? What kind of movie were you thinking?"

What kind of movie it was or what theatre they were going to, didn't matter. Susie had agreed to it, and even though Noelle never outright said that this was grounds for another fight at home, that inevitable fight happened that evening. "So what if me and Kris are watching a movie?" When it happened, Susie sat back in her corner, almost itching to claw at Noelle.

"You don't know what he's going to do if you two are alone!"

"We'll be in a room full of people, give it a rest! Besides, what do you think he's gonna do?"

"You know..." She grabbed Susie by the arm with as much force as she had in her hands. "You have to make it clear to him that you're into girls only! You understand?"

Susie lowered her head to stare at Noelle from the top her eyes. "Really now? Kris? We talking about the same Kris? I don't remember him as the flirty, oncoming type."

"He's a guy! They all only want one thing! Please, don't go. Just ghost him! He'll understand."

"If I want to go to the movies, I'll go to the movies!" Her outburst ended their back and forth. They spent the rest of the day as they did all the previous ones. Quietly, not doing anything and waiting for the day to go by. But the next morning was already the day Susie had agreed to go to the movies with Kris, so Noelle got up, went over to the couch and laid down next to her. She held Susie's arm and mumbled. "Please don't go." She spent the entire morning and noon like this. Holding onto Susie. Continuously asking her not to go.

Even when the time came when she had to go to meet up, Noelle clung to her, trying to hold her in place when she was about to go. "Don't go..." At some point, Susie tried to pull away to head for the door, and Noelle strengthened her efforts in keeping her in place. "Please...I don't know what I'd do to myself if you go."

When Susie was half out the door, she finally stopped and let Noelle drag her back inside. She just sat on the couch with her. Refusing to look at her. And stayed like this. She ghosted Kris. They didn't even call him to call it off.

Kris took the hint, and didn't bother the two of them any more. He went back to university without having spent time together with Susie, nor Noelle.

From there on in, Susie zoned out more often, spent more time staring out the window. Zoning out, spending a lot of time thinking about something that wasn't Noelle. When they came back from grocery shopping, she insisted that they take a detour to Mrs. Dreemurr's to ask how Kris has been. Or if he was there. But at some point even she didn't have a lot to answer here. Kris called home less and less often.

After a few more months, only one month into the summer semester, things changed. Police from other districts got more presence, all to contact the Dreemurrs, and word of the reason spread like wildfire. Asriel came home at once as he found out.

Kris had jumped off the roof of a ten-story building. There wasn't even grounds to take him to the hospital. The half of his body that was still recognizable was unrecoverable, whether by magic, or by medicine.

His suicide note read nothing but "I'm so sorry Mom, I'm so sorry Dad, I'm so sorry Asriel. I know you all only did your best to make a life possible. But I just don't feel like there's anything for it. There's no reason. Nothing to live for. When I was at home, for a brief moment, I felt like there was. But I don't..."

Those last two sentences were scrawled out. His handwriting towards it was getting worse and worse anyway. When next Susie sat at the window to stare outside, she didn't. She pulled her legs back and hid her face behind them. And trembled every step of the way. "Susie? Susie what's wrong?" She knew this was about Kris, but she didn't expect this to affect Susie like this. "What's..."

"He's not coming back. He's not coming back." Susie stayed the way she was, curled together, and began to sob. "That's just it. No second chance." More than any laughter they had had in their time together, the crying was contagious. Before Noelle knew what was happening, she and Susie sat on the couch, holding onto each other, crying over Kris' loss for hours.

Susie tolerated Noelle's closeness, but they didn't bond over it. She blamed Noelle for it and she could feel it. As the days passed from here on in, occasionally, Susie would head for the door. Whenever she did, Noelle was quick to follow and insist that she came along wherever the otherwise quiet dragon went.

That was, until one night, when Susie thought she was sleeping, Noelle caught her trying to sneak out through the door. The doe was shocked, sprang up and rushed to grab hold of her again. "Where are you going?"

"Uh...outside?"

"I - I'll come along."

Now, with a much more cold expression, Susie fixated Noelle's eyes and then shook her head. "No. No you're not."

"Wait - wait! Don't go..." Bad wording. Those two words alone struck a chord and had Susie snarl at her. "Please...don't leave. Don't leave me alone! Being left alone would be crushing!"

"Same difference. Now let go."

Noelle was clinging to Susie's arm, even all the way to the stairs. Still trying to drag Susie back into the apartment. Susie just froze, and with a calm tone, asked her: "Let go."

"No..."

Then the turned around at Noelle and roared with enough force that Noelle felt it. "LET GO!" She didn't answer, but she didn't let go either. "If you don't let go, I'm going to burn you 'till you do." She wasn't. Not if anything of their love was left. Susie waited for almost half a minute. Half a minute was the time Noelle had to let go of her. And when it passed, finally, Susie pulled herself free with enough strength to get it done. "I said let go!"

She tried to go downstairs, but Noelle immediately reached for her arm again. With an unprecedented force, she was pushed away by the shoulder, and Susie faced back up at her, opened her mouth, and unleashed a torrent of fire to engulf Noelle's face. Now Susie was the one that reached up to hold Noelle in place and keep covering the screaming deer in fire. She didn't know how long this torture lasted, but the fire felt like it lasted for an eternity.

When she was let go, and stumbled her way back into the apartment in desperate search for the sink, the entire building was already on fire. The firemen were able to put out the fires and take Noelle to a hospital. She survived. And the officials arranged for her to get a new apartment in a different building.

But her and Susie's abrupt breakup left her scarred forever. The entire right side of Noelle's face was disfigured both beyond recognition as well as recovery. She was to spend the rest of her life with half her face burnt off.

And there was no going back from that. Within weeks from this incident, she got news of Susie's death as well. Her clothes were found empty, in an empty one-room apartment. Laid on a pile of dust beneath a noose. She hung herself.

With even less of a reason to go outside, Noelle reclined more at home. Leaving only to fetch groceries and the like. At times she didn't even take out the trash, and instead, trash just piled up in her apartment as it gradually became the home of a hoarder. To distract herself, she eventually bought a cat. Then a second one. Then a third one. And even that didn't stop the breakdowns. More and more frequently, she just had 'episodes' where she would panic, feel despair for reasons she didn't understand and found herself unable to get out of bed or move from where she currently was.

She eventually sought out a psychiatrist to figure out what was wrong with her. But even his sessions didn't improve her condition. She woke up again to the wheezing sounds of fighting cats, unable to figure out why her depression wouldn't go away. She looked in the mirror at the half of her face she still had. She was in her late fourties at this point. The blue colour was already fading from her fur and turning into more of a slight grey.

It was one of those days again. The day she would start off by visiting her shrink right after breakfast. The psychiatrist's office was in a comfy office building. The part that was hard to get used to, was that all his secretaries were nudists. As was he. Doctor Donatien Alphonse, a black Boss Monster, sat down on his sofa with a notepad and a pen in his hands.

Listening to Noelle ramble on about what was going through her mind recently. Her depression had gotten worse as time went on. Which was why she now visited Doctor Alphonse several times a week. And she didn't skip sessions either. Mostly because his therapy sessions were the closest thing to social interaction she had in her life.

It was a session like any other. The only difference to anything before, lay in what happened on her way back. On a far-off street, on her way home, she spotted a monster staring at her. It was too far away for her to make out its appearance, but merely looking at them unsettled her. When a few hours later, she went out for groceries, that was when she saw it again. And this time, it was close enough for her to make out what it looked like.

Most of it looked like Susie - same jacket - same magenta scale tone - same face - same hair - except it was taller, more broadly built. 'Her' neck was broken, so her unnaturally long and drawn out head hung off her shoulders, limply dangling about with every step. But this thing couldn't be Susie, Susie was dead. And yet here it was, walking about. Mumbling something to itself. Staring at Noelle with the one eye that was in an angle to do so.

And it wasn't just made up of Susie. The half of Kris' corpse that was still recognizable after he crashed onto the pavement, was merged onto Susie's left side. And 'he' was moving as well. Reaching up to try to wind his arm around Susie, only for it to slip off as 'she' stumbled Noelle's way. As soon as Noelle was fully aware of what she was seeing, she rushed home and convinced herself that it was just some kind of daydream. Or a day-nightmare.

She hoped as much. After all, she didn't see it after she went home. On the next day, she decided to take a stroll and sit down on a bench in a nearby park. Watch the children play in the distance and their mothers keep an eye on them. Except something in her field of view was out of place. When she started paying attention to it, she realized it was that thing again.

This large Susie-Kris amalgamate was shuffling right her way. She froze. She didn't move one inch. And it kept coming closer. Closer and closer. She didn't get up until it was a mere four feet away from her.

At this point, she could hear what they were saying, too. The things Susie's limp head was mumbling were an endless repetition of "Let go, let go. If you don't let go, I'm going to burn you 'till you do! I said let go! Let go! Let go..."

Kris was just repeatedly trying to usher Susie's name, and failing to do so half-way through every time.

"Su - Susie?" She tried talking to it, but doing so did nothing to make it break from continuously approaching Noelle and mumbling those same sentences over and over. 'Kris' paid little attention to her, and like 'Susie's mumbling, his attempts at hugging Susie were in an endless loop.

The creature was very slow, so she could keep away easily, but what she realized soon, was that she was the only one paying attention to it. Everyone around here was going about their everyday lives. Passerbys on the walkways kept walking, the mothers of hometown kept watching their children play, no-one seemed to pay it any mind.

When the thing followed her onto the walkway, it almost bumped into a lizard, and the lizard didn't so much as twitch as it stumbled right in front of him. "What - get out of the way!"

She tried to warn him. At first, he appeared confused on whether she was talking to him. Then he stopped and turned her way. "I'm sorry, what?"

She had to walk circles around him to avoid the 'thing' catching up with her. "I - uh - don't you see..." It took her a moment to fully process that he either didn't see this thing, or he was otherwise unaware of it.

Between herself and the thing, she seemed to be the only one capable of drawing anyone's attention. Putting her panic on display didn't do anything about the monster. Finally fully aware of the situation, she ran. Straight past the street without looking both ways and off behind the apartment complexes. Into the alleyways. The amalgamate slowly followed her.

Noelle got past the street, but the monster was in no way fast enough to get out of the way of a green car that came right away. It crashed into the monster. The monster was unscathed, but the driver was injured and unconscious. The crash finally got the people around her into a stir, with some confused onlookers calling for an ambulance.

They weren't aware of that thing, but it was real. And it was coming for Noelle. She ran off into the alleyways to try to shake it off. With little orientation on which way led where. When she hit a dead end, she finally stopped to catch her breath.

A mistake as she would realize with creeping dread. Somehow, in spite of being so slow previously, it caught up and was coming her way. With no way for her to escape. There were no fences to climb or the like. Only walls way too tall to reach up. "Su - Susie, please! I'm sorry about what happened, I didn't..." It was no use. It was about as responsive to her as all those people were to it.

All she could do was cower in a corner behind a dumpster. Which didn't stop it from following her there. "No...please! I'm sorry! Susie, stop!" Unnaturally big dragon claws grabbed Noelle by the collar and lifted her up. The dangling head on Susie's half raised itself and opened its mouth. "No! No! Please stop, I beg you!" She struggled and screamed because now she knew what was coming.

It was even more terrifying to see it raise Susie's head than seeing it hang down the way it did before. But now it moved up to face her. All the panic, all the fear, all the pain, she felt everything she went through back when its 'Susie' half covered her in fire and burned her face off all over again. Not to mention when it actually did happen again: The pain, the feeling of suffocation and the paralyzing fear, she was trapped in that moment again. Another eternity of pain and suffering.

But this time, it ended abruptly, with a surge through all her body. Her eyes shot open and she sat up in one move. She was hyperventilating, but at least she could breathe. It took her a moment to snap out of her stupor and realize that she was back in her one-room apartment. In her bed. With her pajama on. She reached up to her face. The right side was still burnt off. The left side felt fine. And upon getting up and looking into the mirror right next to her bed, it looked fine, too.

Was it all a dream? That was relieving. A look at her phone cast a cold shower down her spine. The date on her phone said it was the next day. Either she overslept for an entire day without noticing, or it really happened...and somehow she wound up back in her bed the next morning like nothing happened.

She hoped it was the former. But upon leaving the building she knew one thing. If that previous day was a 'dream', then she was still dreaming. Because the moment she went out the door, the monster was right there, across the street. Staring at her and not long later, coming for her. She wasn't even sure how she knew it was staring at her when it did. Its limp dragon head was just dangling around. But she could feel it every time.

She had to hurry to the doctor's office. She must have misjudged everything. She must have imagined the accident it caused. It had to be in her head. It had to. She had to be quick. And sure enough, as long as she didn't stop, the thing didn't catch up with her. She called Doctor Alphonse.

She was lucky, he was free at the moment and up for a spontaneous extra session between regular sessions. The secretaries at the counter were surprised to see her today. The doctor didn't seem surprised at all. "You sounded so worked up on the phone." The grinning goat sat down on his recliner with his legs spread. "What has you in such a rush all of a sudden."

Describing what she saw, heard and felt in the last two days was a long, drawn out process that involved constantly fighting with her stutters and her shaking voice and required her therapist to draw out all the details with more and more direct questions. When it was finally over, he leaned forward with his head rested on his palm.

"Well well, to summarize, you now believe you're being chased around by some kind of amalgamate made up of Kris and Susie. What would we even call it? Suris? No..that doesn't sound right. Wait, I got it: Krusie. You're being haunted by Krusie."

"What does it- I mean how do I make it stop?"

"Well for that, we need to fully understand where its roots lie. Since what you described sounds more like dead bodies than actual living people, I'd wager you blame yourself for Kris' and Susie's deaths - and rightfully so. Yes, you are fully to blame for their deaths. The way you treated Kris and got in-between them, even for simple, platonic friendships, there may have been other things, but that was definitely something crucial to pushing him over the edge. Not to mention Susie."

He put on his glasses. "Let's face it. If Kris had seen a reason to live, he'd have a perfectly fine life right now. But Susie, the moment you saw any shot at some make-be- at a relationship with her, you stripped her of any future she had without you. In the end, the despair of realizing what you had wrought on her prospects, was too much for her to bear. If she had had a single person in her life other than you - even if only as a friend."

He didn't need glasses and they were only for effect, so he now leaned forwards, took them off and pointed at her with them. "She may still walk among us as a normal monster, rather than a disfigured figment of your imagination. You drove her to suicide. Both of them." He snickered in-between his analysis so much, he had to drop back against the lean of his chair.

But after that, his voice became more calm and he sat up, staring Noelle in the eyes as soon as he opened his. "Their deaths were unnecessary and avoidable. And the only thing that caused them, was you." The tone in his voice turned so somber towards the end, Noelle almost felt the darkness in his words creep along the walls.

"This is not helping!"

Calling him out didn't remove that wide smile from his face. "Au contraire, not-so-young lady. Sugarcoating it would run the risk of enabling your self-harm. You can't work through an issue if you're in denial of it. Step one is always to acknowledge that there is a problem, what that problem is, and where your role in it lies."

He took another look at his notepad. "In your case we're lucky, it is obvious enough what your role in all of it was. If this issue has progressed so far that you hallucinate when you're awake, then it has to be tackled. I've laid out the matter to you. If you remain in denial now, then it will only get worse. This monster, this 'Krusie' won't stop haunting you until you make your peace with the fact that you are the one and only cause. You orchestrated every bit of what it stands for. Susie's death, your general situation, maybe even Kris' death."

"General situation? What's that supposed to mean?"

He sighed and checked his watch. "I mean I could go into that, but I have a skittish ophid that I need to tend to before he drifts away. We'll continue this tomorrow morning." He got up and offered her a handshake like he always did at the end of their regular therapy sessions. When she hesitated, he grabbed her hand to shake it with a strong grip. A clear signal that their spontaneous session was over and that he wasn't going to budge.

She was hesitant to leave the office. It felt a little like a sanctuary into which Krusie wouldn't tread even when it was after her. She wasn't even sure what that excuse he made meant. What was an Ophid? She used to read a lot about all kinds of things when she was younger. It felt faintly as though it was supposed to ring a bell, and if she was still in her teens, she would have known immediately what a big word like that meant.

But she wasn't a teenager any more. She hadn't been on her hooves like she used to be for decades now. And now, the very moment those automated doors outside slid open, her heart sank. Right on the other side of a busy street downtown, there it was again. Staring at her. Raising its Susie-head and baring its teeth at her.

Scars littered 'her' face. With unnatural, erratic motions in both her and Kris' arms, it began making its way over the road. This time, it maneuvered its way between the cars that stood waiting for a green light.

She had to go. Away. She wasn't sure where, but she had to go. Even when it was out of sight, she wasn't sure where she could go. She had to spend her time somehow. Somewhere away from here. Or from wherever it was. It was in her head, she just had to distract herself. But she didn't even know how to do that.

What was she going to do? Go to some restaurant? Treat herself to a good meal to try and forget about the monster? What would it look like to the other guests, an aging woman eating expensively all by herself? Same with going to the movies, or classic theatre. A disfigured woman like her, going to some local artiste theatre all by herself. Especially with what kinds of plays those had running, everyone would assume she was some kind of pervert.

For several hours, she just took public transport, heading aimlessly from one part of the nearby city to the next. She had nothing to do, nowhere to go, no-one to turn to. Towards the evening, her mind wandered back to the people she and Susie still knew even when they isolated themselves - okay, who was she kidding? - after she isolated herself and Susie from the rest of the world.

What was Berdly up to now? Surely someone like him wouldn't have anything going on in his life. A quick look into some online phone books gave her his address. After all this time, surely he'd appreciate a visit. Even if it was unannounced.

It led to a single family house. She expected an apartment building like the one she lived in. Did he still live with his parents? It was a different house, so if so, they moved. She snuck closer to catch a look inside. A bird monster with red feathers stood in the kitchen and was cleaning a few plates.

She wore a homely dress and had a smile so calm and content, Noelle could feel that in decades of looking at Susie's face and her own image in the mirror, she hadn't once seen one like it. Who was this? Berdly's sister was blue. Besides, she looked more Noelle's age than Pluma's.

The house had two garages. One was open and completely empty. The automated door on the other began to open as a car pulled up. Seeing who drove it surprised her enough to send her jaw to the ground. It was Berdly. The very same one. She would recognize his face anywhere, even through how he changed. His feathers had lost some of their colour and he had gained some weight. But that was definitely him. Pulling into the garage with an expensive looking car and with his business jacket still on.

When she began to grasp the implications, the pace of her breathing sped up. With one hand on the windowsill, she peeked inside and watched him hang up his jacket. He walked up to the woman who turned to him with that smile still on. When Noelle saw him brush his beak along the side of hers and her reciprocating the gesture, her face scrounged up.

She felt as if a cold claw gripped at her heart and squished at it, digging the sharp inner ends into it. Her lips trembled. She almost felt like she had shed tears from how dry her face was under her eyes, except that there weren't any tears when she tried brushing them away.

While the only people in Noelle's life took their own and with them, hers, Berdly must have met some girl at university and after it. Now it dawned on her that the two teenagers sitting on the couch playing a game on some console were his and that red bird woman's children.

It wasn't fair. It drove her crazy and she wasn't even sure why. She was already contemplating destroying something here just to do something about how angry and confused she felt, when a lot of that aimless anger was put a stop to by the sight of an amalgamated corpse standing only a few metres from where she stood.

The 'Kris' half of the monster wasn't trying to hug Susie as much as reach for Noelle. Paying little mind to 'Kris', the 'Susie' half knelt down to reach for the bottom of the garage door. The automated door tried to hold itself shut, but the monster's dragon arm ripped it open with little issue.

It reached onto the back of the car and scratched it with its claws. 'Susie's head hung down like a dead animal head up until then, but now it pulled itself back up and swung itself about, drawing a loose serpentine motion into the air with its long, broken neck and resumed repeating Susie's last words to Noelle. "Let go! If you don't let go..."

She ran. She ran and ran and ran. Police stations, bus stops, she skipped every place she could have stopped at until she was further into the city again, where she could get into a crowded train straight back to an area closer to hometown. And yet when Noelle was changing from a local train to a bus, peeking over the crowd, the monster stood there. Watching her. Biding its time.

There only was one place to go: Home.

She didn't stop running until she was inside the building. And even then, she hurried upstairs, unlocked and opened the front door of her apartment and slammed it shut behind her. She neglected to feed the cats and they had now made a mess. But she had little attention to pay to that. She focused on taking a shower and going to bed. Maybe going back to sleep would make all this horrible stuff go away. She would go to sleep and the next morning it would all be better.