June 27, 1998
148 West 133rd St
Harlem, New York City
4:28 AM
Heru
{What are you doing?}
'We're going to go play Mario Kart, duh, this fucking guy'
It's going to be great!
{Until it's not! Helloooo? Can we get a little back up here, Big D?}
[Stupid, fucking, morons.]
{Someone gets it}
"Shut up", Heru whispered as he slid the key in his apartment door and turned the wrong way but still tried to walk forward. Blushing furiously, he turned it the proper way and stumbled inside, stepping aside to let the giant mercenary in. He was only five foot seven himself but next to Deadpool he looked and felt frighteningly small since he was also on the smaller end of the athletic side of things. He knew Wade Wilson was tall and the graphic novels always made it clear that he was ripped but he had expected him to be built more like Andrew in reality, aka Ares 'this is a reference to the author's original novel, Merely Mortal, check it out on ', and more athletic and less… bull in a china shop.
"Welcome to my layer of evil," he greeted, his monotone voice forgetting to change tones as he smiled and gestured at the nearly empty bachelor apartment. There was a couch in the middle of the room with a coffee table that was buried under a number of bongs, newspapers, ashtrays, and papers, an overflowing laundry hamper a few feet away. A large fifty inch flatscreen TV was across from the couch a few feet back, on the floor. In front of it was a dozen different gaming consoles. Wade whistled appreciatively at the TV and collection and looked around, noting the absence of a bed. The only other piece of furniture was the table in the tiny kitchenette that had an impressive looking desktop, keyboard, mouse and headset.
"Bit of a gamer geek?" Wade said, it was more of a statement than a question and flopped down on the couch, his legs dangling over the armrest. Heru was temporarily frozen in place, Past screaming so blindingly loud that it took him a moment to actually hear the question, "what are all these systems?" Heru glanced over to see Wade stretching across the floor to examine the various systems that hadn't come out yet.
"Yea, I am," he closed the door and tossed his keys on the counter and went to the fridge, hoping there was beer.
'I'm pretty sure we don't keep beer around'
We never liked it, it was always Andrew's drink
{Probably have rum though}
There was a bottle of Kraken in the freezer, the label iced over.
"It passes the time, and uh, those are game systems that will come out in the next twenty years," Is that right? Twenty years? He paused as he stared at the freezer, trying to remember exactly what years the systems came out.
'It's 1998,' Present helpfully provided.
"Will come out?" Wade looked at him with one white lens squinting, in suspicion or curiosity, he wasn't sure which.
"Spoilers," Heru said, hastening over when he noticed Deadpool had lost interest in the electronics and was eyeing some of the papers on the coffee table. He had left out his papers on Bradley. He quickly snatched them up, making a spot to set the bottle down and muttering apologies for the mess.
"Don't sweat it brown eyes," he twisted round so he was sitting upright and grabbed the bottle, "If ya like pina coladas!" Wade burst into song, "and gettin' caught in the rain!" Heru grinned and rolled his eyes, going back to the kitchen to deposit the papers and look for cups and now mixers because he was craving a pina colada.
'Is… is this… what is this?'
[Ew, it's a feeling]
{It feels weird}
We used to feel this all the time
Heru pretended like he could ignore the voices and sang along with Wade, surprising the merc who continued to sing as Heru managed to make them a blender full of pina coladas. He brought it over and stuck two McDonald's straws in it. When he spotted Wade looking at him with a weird expression he grinned,
"It's not a milkshake but I think it works?" he said teasingly and was rewarded by that comic magic and knew Wade was blushing, a stupid grin plastered to his face.
"You're just so thoughtful muffin," he quipped back, accepting the N64 controller. Heru figured going with a system that Wade had played was only fair.
"I've held the Mario Kart championships for the past six hundred years, mind you, I've only had the computer to play against so it's totally possible I don't actually deserve it anymore," he said in one long rush of a sentence, breathing in as he sucked down a stomach full of pina colada. Wade laughed and leaned over, holding his mask up just enough that he could get the straw in his mouth.
'Don't stand so close to me!' Present burst out into song the moment Wade had moved in.
{We are so not supposed to be doing this}
The rules were made to be broken! We've never paid attention to them.
[Except in this case, you really should. You know you're going to regret this.]
{Supposed to let go of our human life, remember?}
"Be prepared to get your ass owned," Wade purred as they selected their characters and Heru choked on the icy drink. He put the blender down on the table and scooched into the opposite corner of the couch from Wade, stretching his legs out on the space between them.
"Oh, you have no idea what you're getting into 'Pool," Heru pured right back.
June 27, 1998
148 West 133rd St
Harlem, New York City
4:36 AM
Wade
{Did he just say they'd come out in the next twenty years?}
[Is he from the future?]
"Will come out?" Wade let the boxes discuss the possibilities of time travel, something else had caught his attention. He quickly glanced back at Heru who was staring into the freezer, [he's doing that frozen thing again], and leaned forward, pretending to look at the large white box with an X on it but actually he was attempting to read the sticky note stuck to a picture. 'A.B. '86, sold 150, made a billion $' was scrawled across the neon green paper in chicken scratch that gave Wade's own scrawl a run for his money.
"Spoilers," Heru said, stepping between Wade and the coffee table, one hand deftly gathering all the papers before Wade could see anything else. He repeatedly apologized for the mess which compared with his own place, this was a palace… if not a little empty.
{Busted}
I'll try to sneak a peek later, his gaze followed Heru, I'm not distracted by his ass, nope, not at all. His eyes followed him as he went back to the kitchen, setting the disheveled stack of papers on the table.
"Don't sweat it brown eyes," he sat up and grabbed the bottle of alcohol, "If you like pina coladas!" he sang, (completely unaware that it was out loud). He didn't recognize the label (and Wade knew his alcohol) and looked at the bottled date, 03/19/2018 before Heru stole the bottle back, the noise of the blender nearly drowned out his singing. He just sang louder.
[So, time traveller confirmed]
{I have so many follow up questions}
He was about to point out the date when Heru's startling soft but delightful voice joined him in the chorus [When did we start singing that out loud?] and dropped two McDonalds straws into the blender, clearly not bothering with the necessities of separate glasses and smirked slyly.
"It's not a milkshake, but it works," he said with a smile that played across half his mouth {was that a date reference?} and Wade momentarily forgot what he had wanted to say, his attention entirely on the way Heru's mouth moved. Realizing he was staring, he grinned and leaned back so that Heru could get between him and the table without touching him.
[Don't think we haven't noticed]
"Aw, you're so thoughtful muffin," he cooed, accepting the controller he was handed.
{This is better than a gun}
[Blasphemy!]
"...I don't actually deserve it anymore," Heru finished his long winded sentence before sucking up a surprisingly large amount of drink. Wade watched him, glad his mask could hide whatever expression was on his face that was somewhere between inappropriately and very obviously checking him out and curious. He grinned and leaned in, lifted his mask at the corner so he could grab the straw with his lips,
"Be prepared to get your ass owned," he purred before taking a sip. He was used to people flinching when he got close so he didn't noticeably react when Heru froze the moment Wade had gotten within his personal space.
[I thought we were flirting?]
{All talk, no touching!}
Germaphobe? He thought hopefully. Heru sat down in the opposite corner, his slender legs stretched out in front of him but he was so short that they were still a good thirty centimeters away from touching him on the large couch.
[Unlikely]
"So, time traveller?" Wade asked, slurping down more of the delicious pina colada.
{This tastes like he's been a bartender}
[If he's as old as he says, he's probs done most things]
"Sort of, I guess from your point of view, that's what it would look like," he replied thoughtfully, his head tilting as he listened to something, "I know guys, it's hard to explain to a linear person, I forget what it's like," he glanced at Wade nervously, "we exist outside of time and space."
"We?" He threw a red shell, grinning mischievously as it hit Herus' character.
"Reapers," he answered, he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, the black gem catching on his bottom teeth.
{Damn, that's adorable}
"So you can travel in time?"
[That's fucking cool]
{Wonder if he could undo this fugly mug}
I don't think that's how time travel works.
"Not really travel, I exist in every point of time and space and just choose when to focus my consciousness into this form, like now" he attempted to explain, his eyes locked on the screen as he overtook Wade's kart, a distant expression creasing the corners of his mouth into a frown. They were quiet for a few moments, both concentrating on the colorful pixels in front of them.
"You're gonna pay for that bub!" He threw a green shell, it missed and rebounded and hit himself, "fuck." Heru grinned.
"Too slow old man!" Heru whooped as he crossed the finish line and jumped to his feet. Wade's mouth fell open as he started a victory dance that had Yellow sputtering and White asking if that was seriously a skull and crossbones belly button ring?
Don't forget those hips.
He looked up to see Heru smiling that same floppy grin, his golden eyes glinting suggestively, and very much aware that he had been staring.
"Sit that tight ass back down, I demand a rematch!" He shouted, aiming a kick at said tight ass, slightly disappointed when he moved before his foot made contact.
[I bet it's super perky]
"Alright, alright, cool your jets," he laughed and grabbed the blender and took another giant drink.
"You should slow down, that little frame of yours doesn't look like it can hold much alcohol," and judging by the taste of it, you poured half the bottle into it.
"Can't get drunk silly," he said, a slightly frosty edge to his voice.
[Damn, can't get drunk or high?]
{Also can't unalive himself?}
The reaper gig doesn't sound like fun.
"Not even a buzz?" He whistled and took the blender from him, sucking back several shots, making a face when the brain freeze kicked in.
"Not even a tingle," he sighed and tossed the controller beside him and grabbed one of the bongs on the table. Wade wrinkled his nose at the thing, {looks like it's growing its own ecosystem} shudder. He flicked it and Wade's eyebrows would have disappeared in his hair line… if he had eyebrows… or hair.
"Are you magic?" he whispered with pretend awe, it wasn't like he hadn't seen magic before, but it was always pretty cool.
"No," he laughed, "just… pulled it back from before it was used, like the bullets. Only way that any of my shit still exists, all this stuff would have fallen apart ages ago, they don't make shit like they used," he said with a shrug and took a hit from the bong before passing it to Wade, "you can't get drunk or high right? The whole heal factor, yea?"
"I can get drunk, it just takes a shit load of booze," he replied and took a rip off the mermaid shaped bong, the mouthpiece sticking out of her flaming red hair. Weed never gave him much of a buzz but sometimes, if it was really strong shit, it helped with the chronic pain from the cancer.
"Well, in that case, more?" Heru asked as Deadpool slurped down the last of the pina colada. The sun was beginning to rise and the light was dancing off the surrounding glass and through the tattered curtains of the dingy apartment.
"Mmm," he handed the blender back, not feeling the alcohol but enjoying the view as Heru slipped between him and the table, his dark hair falling in his eyes as he winked down at Wade before disappearing behind the couch.
{Jeebus}
[Mmm my dick feels all tingly]
That's our phone vibrating in our pocket. Wade dug into the way too tight pocket and pulled out the buzzing phone. It was a text from Weasel. He had called him earlier, telling him he had finished up with the client but wanted to look into him now, something was off about the guy. If Heru wouldn't tell him what this guy had done that was so horrible Death itself had to send in a torturer, he was going to find out himself. So had done something productive for once and had set the Weasel on him. He would get him some kind of information, even if it was just a single word, he'd help him get started.
From Weas:
Call me ASAP
{Must be serious}
"Hey sweet ass," Wade said, getting to his feet and glancing over to see Heru whispering to himself and couldn't help but smile, [he's cute when he does that, did anyone else notice that?], "I gotta make a quick call, I'm just going to step outside," he walked over to the window and pried it open.
"Alright," Heru called over his shoulder before starting the blender.
{I'm honestly surprised he has a blender}
"Weasel," Wade said as he picked up, he closed the window with enough room for his fingers and stood out on the fire escape.
"Wade, I'm going to kill you for getting me involved in this!" Weasel's outraged voice nearly broke his ear drum.
[Wuh oh]
"Involved in what?" he balked in confusion, what the hell was so bad that was freaking out Weasel? He looked through the window, watching as Heru danced and laughed, still talking to himself as he continued mixing the pina coladas.
"Shit Wade, this is some serious mother fucking shit," he growled, making Wade's heart start to race with increasing anxiety.
"Calm down Weas, talk to me, what did you find out?" he coaxed, trying to get the bartender to talk, "what are we talking about? Drugs? Weapons?"
"Fuck, it's everything Wade but mostly," he paused and Wade could just picture him nervously looking over his shoulder before saying in a low voice, "human trafficking but Wade, if what I'm hearing has any grains of truth, this goes up to the top."
"The top? Like top mob bosses or tippity top like the government?" he asked, eyes narrowing.
"Tippity top," he whispered and Wade let out a sharp sigh.
"Fuck," that wasn't good. Wade gripped the back of his mask, pulling at it nervously as he paced the tiny fire escape. Ok, it was more like he walked in a two step circle until he started to get dizzy.
"I did find something solid though," Weasel said and interrupted his panic, "possibly a witness, Abeg-"
"Shut the fuck up Weas!" Wade hissed, grabbing the back of his head again and groaning, "Christ Weas if that's a possible witness don't you dare say the name over the phone. If this is as serious as you're saying it is, they probably know someone's been sniffing around and we might end up tipping them off to them!"
"Shit, you're right," he mumbled, "come by tonight, I'll fill you in on everything."
"Yea, sounds good," he ended the call, tucking the little Nokia back in his pocket before climbing back in through the window.
"Everything ok?" Heru asked from his seat on the couch, his legs were on the coffee table, the blender of pina colada beside his ankles.
"Yea, just some work stuff," he waved off.
{We should go find out what Weasel knows now.}
[I have a bad feeling about this]
Wade eyed the papers on the table before sitting back down on the couch and putting his feet up next to Heru's, "alright, I'm definitely going to kick your ass this round," he jeered, drinking enough of the sugary coconut flavored alcohol he seriously questioned if it was possible for brain freeze to unalive him.
{That's a new one, we should try that guys}
"Pfft," Heru scoffed, "you wish you could do something to my ass and it isn't kicking it," he purred in such a cruel tease and Wade gaped at him.
[Filthy flirt]
{He looks like the bird who swallowed the canary}
"I have a feeling you're going to be bad for my health," Wade speculated, winking at Heru before trying to focus on the game but all he could think about was Abegail, if that was her name. He thought it was, that's what it had sounded like before he'd cut Weasel off. What if they had noticed someone asking around? If it really went all the way up the government, then that would mean it was likely there were spies everywhere and Wade had a feeling it was even worse than Weasel thought. He looked over at the Reaper next to him, his disheveled black hair stuck out in every direction, the three inch mohawk clearly hadn't been styled any time recently but he seemed to have a habit of running his hands through it and pulling it to the right slightly, making it stick up. He could see where he had most recently gripped it, right in the front, a few strands falling across his forehead.
[Who knew Death was such a disaster?]
June 27, 1998
148 West 133rd St
Harlem, New York City
6:26 AM
Heru
Something's up with him Past pointed out and Heru stole a side glance at the merc stretched out on the other side of the couch. Since returning from his phone call, he had been quieter than what Heru thought was usual. Most noticeable was the tension that he had noticed slowly easing since their chimichangas had started to come back and his knee anxiously bounced up and down.
{He's worrying about something}
'It's six thirty in the morning'
"So?" Heru whispered as he managed to out maneuver Wade's kart and get past him. It had been awhile since he'd played the N64 and apparently Wade was a secret Mario Kart god.
It is so nice to play against another person!
'So Wade is human, he needs to sleep moron'
Oh yea
{I think he's tired}
Heru glanced over at him again to see him attempting to stifle a yawn.
"Shit," he paused the game, "I hadn't realized it was so late," he explained when Deadpool looked over at him, he could see a small smile, shifting the mask slightly, "you're probably exhausted."
"Gettin' there sweetums," he yawned again and stretched, his arms reaching high above his head as his legs nearly took out the table, "I ain't as young as I look."
{He's probably also in quite a bit of pain}
"I'm so sorry," he scrambled up and turned the system off.
"Hey!" Wade complained, sitting up and frowning at him, "we were right in the middle of a round and I was winning," he pouted and Heru grinned over his shoulder, wrapping up the controllers.
"Sorry, but there was no way you were going to win that round, I did you a favor," he told him, resisting the urge to pat his head as he grabbed the empty blender off the table. He nearly tripped over one of Wade's legs and there was a moment of utter panic as he stumbled away.
"I suppose I should get going," Wade yawned and got to his feet, scratching at his stomach and walking over to the kitchen table. Heru put the blender in the sink and turned to see Wade trying to sneak a peek at the papers again.
Little shit
'Tsk, tsk!'
{Reaper eyes only!}
Heru cleared his throat and leaned against the counter with one hip, he smiled when Wade looked up, smiling innocently.
"Yea, it's probably time to go," Heru agreed, loathing the way his stomach was falling, falling.
'Hello Darkness, my old friend'
Into the abyss we go!
"Yea," Deadpool moved forward and hesitated for a moment beside him, glancing at him for a moment before muttering under his breath and nodded, "right ok, I'm off."
"Hey, we're good right?," Heru reached out, not grabbing him but letting his hand fall before it could make contact, "you're not going to keep trying to hook me up with Bea and Arthur?" he asked quickly, wanting to make sure that they had actually come to the agreement that Wade was going to let Heru do what he needed to do regarding Bradley. At the same time though, he couldn't help the stab of disappointment. There wouldn't be any other reason for Wade to hang around anymore.
Wade chuckled, "yea, we're good sugar, I'll leave you to your man," he said with a wink.
"Thanks," he said lamely, chewing on his lip ring.
You should ask for his number
{Don't be stupid, why would he give us his number?}
[There is literally no reason why he would want to spend more time with us, he's probably so relieved he gets to finally leave]
'I mean, I don't think he would have come over if he didn't want to'
{That doesn't mean he doesn't have ulterior motives}
"Thanks for killing the boredom with me," Wade mumbled but his mask remained expressionless for once.
"Any time," he replied honestly, meaning it more than Wade could imagine. There was a flash of yellow and Heru turned away, determined to ignore the boxes.
"Will you leave it?" Wade was hissing, every other word too quiet for Heru to hear until he groaned loudly and turned back to face him, "so Yellow isn't going to shut the fuck up," he growled and glared at the yellow box just to the left, Heru smiled, "unless I um, give you this," he said and walked the few steps from the front door back to the kitchen table. He pulled out a red crayon from a pouch and grabbed a piece of paper from the stack, writing on the back.
'Is… is that his phone number?'
Holy shit, Drea!
"Uh," Heru's mouth opened but only a strangled sound escaped. Wade looked up quickly, pausing in writing the digits down.
"I mean, you can toss it or whatever, just would prefer it if you waited until we left before you did…." he stammered awkwardly, finishing writing it down and sliding the paper across to him. Heru picked it up, his fingers grazing the waxed letters before making up his mind.
{What do you think you're doing?}
"Can I see your phone?" he asked, holding out his hand and biting his lip so aggressively he broke the skin as he tried to silence the raging voices. Wade shrugged and pulled out his phone and handed it to him, Heru carefully took the little black flip phone.
"In case you want me to kick your ass again," he explained, smiling slyly at Wade as he saved his contact info and handed it back to him.
"Alright," he tucked it away and stood there for a moment before nodding at one of the boxes and turning away, "until next time brown eyes!" he called over his shoulder and left, the door clicking loudly in the silence as it was pulled shut.
{Back to work we go, hi ho, hi ho}
"Mm," he hummed before turning and stepping into Bradley's bedroom. He had a busy day ahead of him.
