Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nelson is having a very nice dream. He isn't quite sure what it is or what's happening. But Ruth is there. And Katie. And they're happy. His girls are happy and smiling in his arms and his whole being feels light and warm. Everything is perfect. Nelson knows he's dreaming but he doesn't want to wake up. Reality isn't too far off from this perfect dream, but it isn't quite the same. Not yet. He wants to stay in the dream just a little longer.
There's a tapping on his arm. His mind leaves the dream gently, thankfully. And before opening his eyes, he recognizes the smell and the feel of his surroundings and he knows where he is. He's lying on his stomach in Ruth's bed. His arms are folded under the pillow beneath his head. There's a cool chill on his back from where the bedsheets have fallen down by his waist.
More tapping. He grumbles and turns his head toward the taps, wondering what the hell Ruth's doing tapping him without saying anything. She's not one to keep her mouth shut.
But then his eyes blink open and he's met by a face that is decidedly not Ruth's. Because turns out Ruth is lying on his other side, still dead asleep.
"Hallo, Daddy."
Nelson feels his heart stop and his stomach drop. But he tries to keep calm. "Hallo, love. What are you doing in here? Did you have a bad dream?" he asks softly. His voice is gravelly from sleep, but he tries to keep quiet to not wake Ruth before he figures out a way to explain.
Katie shakes her head. "It's morning, and I wanted to have pancakes. Daddy, why are you here?" she asks curiously.
He counts himself lucky that she's not asked him why he's not wearing any clothes. He can feel the blanket covering his bum at least. "Katie," he ventures, quietly pleading that this might work, "could you go feed Flint, do you think? It would help Mummy a lot if you could."
Thankfully, she nodded. "One cup, right?"
Nelson has no bloody clue how much food the cat gets but a bit too much or too little for one meal won't hurt him. Hopefully. So he lies, "Yes, that's right. Be careful and take your time and then come back up here when you're done, alright?"
Kate nods again and goes out the bedroom door. As soon as she's gone, Nelson tears out of bed.
As he's pulling on his trunks and looking for his shirt, he snaps, "Ruth, wake up."
His sharp tone alerts her immediately. She sits up, looking around wildly. "What's wrong?" she asks, pulling the sheet up over her bare chest.
"Put some clothes on. Katie'll be back in a minute."
"What!?" she shrieks.
"We overslept. She came in and started tapping my arm and wanted pancakes. I sent her down to feed the cat. One cup of food, whatever that means. She asked me why I'm here, and we've got to tell her something."
"What did you say when she asked?" Ruth asks in return, searching the floor for her bra and knickers.
"I told her to feed the cat!"
Ruth put on her top and made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "Nelson, what the hell are we going to do?" she asks in a panic once her head pops through the hole in the shirt.
The anxiety is rolling off her in palpable waves, so Nelson realizes he's got to be the calm one for now. This is what they do, the two of them. One of them gets upset and the other is calm. Sometimes it's Nelson getting angry over a difficult case or stupid circumstance and Ruth settling him down and pointing him right. And sometimes it's Ruth worrying about a million things and Nelson help reassure and soothe her. The latter situation is upon them now.
Nelson pulls on his own shirt and crosses around to her side of the bed. Ruth looks like she's about to cry.
"Come here, love," he murmurs gently. He pulls her into his arms, holding her tight. He can feel her relax infinitesimally. "It's going to be alright. She was going to find out sometime. And it's better now than a week ago."
"Why?" she asks, looking up at him.
He kisses her softly. "Because last night I told you I love you and you told me you love me, too, and we can tell Katie and I think that's a good thing."
Ruth has to admit he has a point. "I do love you," she says. It's nice to say out loud, finally, after so long not being able to.
Nelson smiles at her almost as widely as he did last night. His whole face lights up, overjoyed by the fact that she loved him. "I love you," he replies.
"Mummy, can we have pancakes now?"
She and Nelson pull apart suddenly when they hear Kate's voice. Ruth steels herself for what's about to come. All she can do is remind herself that it's going to be alright. Nelson loves her. Nelson still wants her, somehow. She'd panicked and done the worst possible thing in bed with him, and he'd not left her. And now he's here with her, ready to tell their daughter. She can do this. They can do this. "Come here, Kate," Ruth beckons. She pulls the sheets up on the bed and holds her arms out to her daughter.
As they've done a million times before, Kate crawls over the bed to where her mother is waiting and they snuggle up together. "I want pancakes," Kate demands again.
"We will in a little while," Ruth appeases. She's not entirely sure she's got any pancake mix in, but hopefully she can figure something out later. "We want to talk to you for a minute first."
"But Dad said we could have pancakes after I fed Flint and I did!" she whines.
Ruth looks over to Nelson who is standing by the bed looking quite awkward. She tilts her head to indicate that he should join them. "Kate, did you wonder why Dad was in my bed?" she asks.
"Yeah, but Dad didn't say because sometimes grownups don't answer questions when they don't want to," Kate replies wisely.
Both Nelson and Ruth have a little laugh at that. But Ruth knows she's the one who has to answer this question. "Well, we'll answer your questions now. As best we can. And as for that first one, Dad is in my bed because sometimes he comes over to spend the evening with us and after you go to sleep, he stays over in here with me."
Kate frowns and turns to Nelson, who is lying on the other side of her with his head propped up on his elbow. "Why?" she asks him simply.
"Sometimes grownups like to spend the night together. And I love your mum, and I love when I get to spend the night with her," Nelson tells her.
Ruth feels herself blush horribly.
"Are you going to stay here all the time now?" Kate asks him.
But Ruth answers this one for him. "Dad's got his own house still. He can't be staying here all the time. Besides, Dad doesn't like the saltmarsh." It is a bit of a sore spot with her still, but she doesn't want Kate to get the impression that Nelson is going to move in or, even worse, for Nelson to feel pressured to do so. He hates the cottage and the saltmarsh, and Ruth knows it. And Ruth's stubborn insistence on remaining there will be a topic for another time.
Kate, thankfully, takes that at face value, and Nelson doesn't argue. Kate turns back to her mother and asks, "Are you going to get married now?"
Ruth chokes on her own spit at that question, so Nelson answers on her behalf. "We haven't talked about that. And even though Auntie Michelle left, she and I are still married until the courts say we're not. And that'll be at least a month or so. Too soon to talk about anyone getting married," he explains. "But not being married doesn't change the fact that Mum and I love each other and we love you most of all. And I hope it's okay that I come and stay over sometimes so I can see you both."
"What about Laura and Rebecca?" Kate asks with concern. "Are they going to stay here, too?"
"No, Rebecca goes to school and Laura has her job, so they live on their own. They had to go back to their homes yesterday. But hopefully they can come visit us all again soon."
Kate smiles at that. "I like my sisters, Dad."
Nelson leans in to kiss her little face. "I'm so glad, Katie. And they like you, too. I want all my girls to be safe and happy. That's all that matters."
He looks up and catches Ruth's eye. And she knows that he includes her in that statement. His girls. Laura and Rebecca and Kate and Ruth. And strangely, Ruth finds herself pleased to be included in the list.
"Kate," Ruth says, calling her daughter's attention back to her. "How about we go have breakfast now?"
"Pancakes!?" Kate asks excitedly.
Ruth laughs, "If we've got what we need, yes, we can have pancakes. And I know Dad has to go to work, but I bet he'd like to learn how to flip them like we like, what do you think?"
"Yeah, Dad, let's flip pancakes!" Kate squeals, tackling her father onto his back.
Nelson laughs and holds her in his arms. He sits up and lifts her in the air. "Off we go, time for pancakes!" he announces.
Ruth follows them both down the stairs, feeling very happy indeed. For the time being, at least, everything seems to be working out quite well.
