Isabella
"I'm gonna miss this." Rose said. We sat on the rock, staring out into the thick wilderness. It had only been two weeks and already Alice and Rose were leaving. Alice was leaving tomorrow for Italy and Rose had some friends in Georgia she was going to see. We decided that the three of us should do one last girls trip. Alice suggested going to the Fashion Museum in Seattle but neither Rose or I wanted to drive four hours.
We eventually decided on a hike at Olympia National Park. It wasn't mine or Alice's first choice but Rosalie could be very persuasive when she wanted to. I don't like hiking. In fact I hate hiking. But Rose loves it and I love Rose. I had just needed a little liquid energy to help me through the day because soon they would be abandoning me and I couldn't trust myself not to cry.
"When do you think you guys will be back?" I ask. Everyone was leaving and I literally had no other friends. I mean, I had the bookstore but those people weren't really my friends. They were more like acquaintances.
"September." Alice says. "For the wedding."
I scowl and throw a pebble as hard as I can into the rushing river in front of us. I was sick of hearing about this wedding. It was sickening how much love was in the air. Rose and Emmett. Jasper and Alice. My dad and Sue. It's like god decided to make me the most miserable person on earth!
"Don't be so down." laughed Rose. "You think you'll hate it but it'll be the most beautiful day. It's impossible not to love a wedding-"
"But I hate love! It's pointless and stupid and you shouldn't need a man to be happy! We are strong independent woman, don't you agree?!" I dramatically exclaimed. I push myself to my feet, slightly wobbling but catching my balance. I snicker and ask, "Do you know what kind of women pine after men?"
They've been shocked into silence. Alice shakes her head.
"Whores!" a growls rumbles from my chest. "Fucking whores with peasized brains that think they need a man to complete their lives. I refuse to be a whore!" My voice echos for miles and miles. On an impulse, I jump down from the rock and race towards the river.
"Bella, stop! What the hell are you talking about?" Rose yells as she chases after me. I stop at the edge of the river, watching the water rush by in utter fascination. She puts her hand on my shoulder and yanks me back from the river. I stumble and fall on my butt, pulling her down with me. She grunts when we hit the ground. Alice is standing in front of us with a slight frown on her face.
"Why are you so sad, Ali?" I pout. I'm overcome with this urge to just hug her and keeping hugging her. Maybe my hugs will make her stay. The idea goes through my mind. I try to get up but Rose holds me down.
"She's drunk." Alice takes a closer look at me. I hear Rosalie mutter something under her breathe but can't quite make out what was said.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" I look all around but at her. Alice crouches down in front of us and calls out my name several times. Eventually, I turn my attention to her. She asks how many drinks I had.
"Only three." my voice is certain. I only had about three drinks… and then a couple more. If you haven't noticed, I'm not good with dealing with stress. I don't normally drink, in fact I hate drinking but today I needed one.
"Bella-"
"I still love Edward. I hate him but if he came back and wanted to be together again then I would go back to him. I'm not going to lie, I hate him so much. But I would still go back to him-"
"Bella, please-"
"I'd move to Alaska with him-"
"Can you shut your mouth for one second!" Alice freaked. She finally broke. I knew that it would happen one of these days. A person can't be this cheery all of the time.
"Where'd you get the alcohol?" she asks.
"Where do you think?"
I don't think that I would call myself super drunk. Maybe like medium to smallish drunk. I wanted to finish the hike but Rose and Alice weren't any fun. They brought me back to the car where I fell asleep for the remainder of the ride. When I woke, two hours later, my head was on Alice's lap and Rose and Emmett were arguing in the driveway.
We're home.
"You're leaving." my voice is full of disappointment. I look up at Alice with unshed tears. She nods her head. She didn't approve of my drunkness. Neither did Rose. Emmett's face is beat red as her voice gets louder and louder. I hear my name a couple of times.
"You don't have to be sad about it." Alice sighed. She stared at me like how you'd stare at a little kid- in sympathy. "There will be plenty of opportunities for us to see each other again! Plus you have my number so you can text and call me whenever you want!"
"Not the same." I mumbled.
Alice didn't respond. She knew too it was not the same.
"I ruined the hike." I say, feeling kinda guilty. Today was supposed to be a fun day and I ruined it.
"You don't ruin it, Bella. We hiked a good hour." she tries to console me before I start crying. Her voice sounded like bells. It made me feel a little better.
ooOoo
August
Edward
You know how you know that you've screwed up? It's when everything around you makes absolutely no sense and you've become a day drinker. It's been eight fucking months and Bella was on my mind 24/7 and nothing I did could make her go away. I tried to forget about her, I truly did but her smile and laugh and the way she bit her lip drove me crazy. It was impossible to forget about Isabella fucking Swan. I'd run back to her if I could. I'd pick her up by her waist and spin her around and around like we were the only two people left on earth. I would love her with everything I had because she was worth it. There wasn't any other girl like her.
I was already on my fifth glass of Vodka and it was only ten o' clock in the morning. The bartender probably thought that I was just another lowlife bum. After coming to this pub for the third time in a row, he had my order down. We never said anything to each other. I showed him my fake ID and he poured the alcohol.
"I need another." I pushed my glass towards him and leaned back in the chair.
"I can't do that." he takes the glass from me.
"But-!"
"Dude, you've had too much to drink. I don't want you getting hurt."
I want to curse this idiot out. I want to make him give me that fucking drink or else I'll punch his teeth out. I want to forget everything. I want to forget about her.
"I'll get you some water." he said. The guy's name tag said Garrett. He was skinny. tall and had shaggy brown hair. He didn't look like he should be a bartender. He looked more like he should be one of those skater dudes. He slides a glass of water in front of me and I take a reluctant sip. Water wasn't going to help me forget about her. Nothing was going to make me forget.
"What brings you to Alaska?" he leaned against the counter, watching me as I drank the ice cold fucking water.
"I needed to get away." I shrugged. There wasn't much else to it.
"Who broke your heart?" he asked as if I wasn't the first person to stumble in here. Her name falls off my lips so perfectly and soft, my heart hurts even more. I want to cry. I want to scream.
"I left her." I cried. "I left her and I want her back now. I'm such a fucking a dick. What the hell was I thinking!" I run my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my racing heart. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to be happy together! We were in love! I still am in love! What the hell was I thinking!
"Do you know what I suggest?" the man said. "Sober up and give her a call. If she cares about you as much as you seem to care about her then she'll pick up."
"I- I don't know if I can do that. If she doesn't pick up then I don't know what I'll do. I don't think she wants anything to do with me." my voice is rough and broken. Bella wasn't stupid. She had a mind of her own and would give me hell.
"Tell me about her."
"She's beautiful and awkward and funny and stubborn as hell. She's very opinionated,"I laugh, "she always says what's on her mind. That's what I like most about her. She's not afraid to show how she feels. There's-there's also thing where she bites her lip. It's the goddamn most sexiest thing. She doesn't need to dress up or wear a lot of makeup to look perfect. She already is."
It's quiet for a moment. He stares at me with a look of contemplation on his face. Did I say too much? Maybe that was a bit much.
"What the fuck are you waiting for?" he whispers. "If I were you then I'd be on the first plane back home this instant! If you wanna win her back, tell her exactly what you told me. Tell her that and even more. She needs to feel your love and regret. She needs to know how much you care!"
Maybe- maybe he was right. I made a fucking mistake. But I could still fix it, right? I needed to try. I would do anything for her. I would die for her.
ooOoo
I stepped off the plane with just my backpack, phone, and wallet. I release a breathe that I didn't know I was holding. I told myself that I wasn't coming back. I promised myself that I would never see her again. But here I was breaking all of the rules. I'd get on my knees and beg her to take me back if I could. There's nothing I wouldn't do.
I hailed a cab back and quickly got in. The driver didn't say a word when I gave him the address, seeming to notice that I was in a hurry. My leg wouldn't stop jittering it felt as if I was about to puke. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We arrived within forty minutes and I handed him a one hundred dollar bill. "Keep the change." is all I said and jumped out of the car.
He drove away and all I could do was stand there outside my house. Nerves took over my body at seeing my parents again. If it wasn't for Alice, they all would have thought that I was dead. I feel awful, don't get me wrong. Maybe now I can make it up to them. I can make it up to everyone.
"Edward!" My mom gasps as she opens the door. She stares at me as if she's seen a ghost. I stand in the driveway, frozen in place. She's crying.
Your mother is crying! Do something!
"Mo-mom…" my voice cracks and I force myself to go to her. My legs are numb as I climb the stairs and suddenly I'm in her arms. She's hugging me and I'm crying. Tears leak from my eyes and I collapse in her arms.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I cry into her shoulder. "Mom, I love you. I love you so much, please forgive me." She pulls back and cups my face in her hands, wiping away the tears. I never cried. Why the fuck was I crying?
"Come inside." is all she says. "You look exhausted."
I walk inside overwhelmed with all of this guilt. I missed Easter and Valentines day and my dad's birthday and the barbecue… the fucking barbecue! I sit at the kitchen table and my mom gets me a bowl of pasta and salad. She says nothing as she sits down across from me- just stares. She stares at me as if we haven't seen each other in years.
"Where have you been?"
I don't respond. I had no good answer. I fucked up and we both knew it.
"Edward, answer me this moment!" she raised her voice. I flinch away and stare at her wide eyed. She was angry- hell- she was furious. I had never seen this angry in all of my life. My mom didn't get angry. Yes, she was disappointed and hurt but never angry.
"I needed time. I broke up with Bella, and I thought that I was doing the right thing at the time, but I think I screwed up. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I need her." I couldn't bare to look at mom and see the obvious pain on her face. She was hurt and it was all my fault. Everything was my fault.
"You're right." she said. "You hurt her. Do you know how long I had to hold her in my arms while she cried? You're leaving destroyed her entire life. She was bullied mercilessly at school and it was so bad that she had to drop out. I'm homeschooling her now-"
"I didn't know-"
"Of course you didn't know! You never bothered once, to pick up your damn phone and check in with your family!" her face turned a bright red. "What the hell did you say to that girl to make her break?"
"You don't want to know." I gulp. I push away the plate of food, suddenly not very hungry. If I had known then I would've come back right away. I would've protected her. I would've saved her from everyone.
"I need to see Bella." I pleaded with my mom. "Please, tell me where she is. I want to make things right."
"She's not here, Edward." she sighs. "She, Charlie, Emmett, and Sue left yesterday for Boston. They'll be back in four days."
"Are you kidding me?" I scoff. Are you actually fucking kidding me?! I want to scream. I came back and she's not even here. This was all for nothing.
"I know that you love her but you made a stupid and reckless decision. I'm not letting you see her until your head is screwed on right. I'm not going to let you hurt that poor girl anymore-"
"But mom…!" I groan.
"I'm serious, Edward! You haven't been here the past eight months. You don't know what it's been like!"
ooOoo
Isabella
One month ago:
Emmett and Rose carried me all the way inside the house. I wanted to sleep but they told me not to. My stomach kind of hurt and I wanted the pain to go away. The pain would go away if I took a nap, but Emmett said that I could get even more hurt if I closed my eyes, and I didn't want that.
I touch my wet cheeks and cry harder. I ruined the hike. Alice told me that I didn't but I don't believe her. I ruined everything. That's probably why Emmett and Rose were arguing in the other room. I kept hearing my name but it wasn't in the nice voice Rosalie always used with me. She was angry… or she was stressed… or something in between the two. They both come back in the room and Rose kisses me on the cheek like Esme does when I'm sad. I didn't want her to leave… but she did and I was angry.
"Bella, don't get up!" Emmett tried to keep me down as I stumbled to get to my feet. Everyone did this to me- they tried to keep me down. I didn't want to stay down, I wanted to stand up!
"D-d-don't touch me!" I cried as I tried to push him away and go towards the door, she had just walked through.
"Isabella!" he growled. With a yank on my arm, I fell back on top of him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around my waist and the fight left my body. I couldn't help but weep and Emmett's attempt to calm me down did not do much.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "What happened?"
"Yo-you're leaving!" I finally gave in. I think he stopped breathing because he went awfully still and quiet. "I don't want you to leave! What am I going to do without you?"
"You're going to be ok…" he said after a few seconds. "I want to stay with you Bells, I really do. Is that what you want me to do- stay?"
"Yes- wait- no- wait, I don't know." I say all in one breathe. "I want you to be the best football player and be famous and rich and have a great life. But I want you to stay with me. I want you to stay forever… will you do that?"
"You're drunk Bella." he said. "We'll take later when you've sobered up."
"I wanna talk now." I whined. "I'mnotdrunk!"
"Of course you're not." he said. "We're just going to stay on the couch for a little while and relax. I think that's what we both need at the moment."
ooOoo
Boston, present day
I think I've learned to accept this- accept us being apart. I threw up several times and cried myself to sleep. Emmett didn't leave my side once, he never went away. Dad found out and I was grounded for a week but I didn't care. Emmett, once again offered to stay home another year but I adamantly denied. One year turned into two and two years turned into three and then pretty soon you're stuck in this town with no way out. I wasn't going to let that happen to Emmett. He didn't deserve it. I was unbelievably sad and haven't stopped crying but I think I'm going to be ok. He promised to call everyday and we'll facetime and text and maybe we'll come to Boston for April break next year. That sounded fun, I'm not gonna lie.
"I love you, sis." he whispered into my ear. I was wrapped in his large beefy arms and felt completely content. This wasn't a forever goodbye. It was just temporary. We would see each other again and it'll be like he never left. I'm gonna try to be good this year not only for myself but for my brother. Emmett deserves a little but of effort on my part. Otherwise the past year would have been for nothing.
"I'll see you in Sep-tember." I croaked. I rubbed my eyes, trying- and failing- at getting rid of my red and puffIness. I was a fucking wreck. "Dad is, umm, dad is waiting in the hall. I think we should go."
Emmett nods his head, dejected, but lets me go none the less. His room was bare and empty and his roommate hadn't shown up yet. Feeling tears well up in my eyes, I walk out the door before he can see me cry again. I walk past my dad and down the hall, wanting to get to the furthest place possible. You're ok, Bella. Everything is going to be ok. I repeat into my head over and over again. The more times I say it then I'll start to believe it.
Charlie found me five minutes later standing by the front door of the residence hall. I had stopped crying, thank god, but the overwhelming sadness remained. He didn't say anything about it. Charlie put his arm over my shoulders and I held onto him as we walked out the door. "Are you ready to go home, baby?" he asked. I nodded my head up and down. We had been here for four days and it felt like a lifetime. Sue was still at the hotel making sure everything was all set for the flight home. I think that was just an excuse to give us space. She didn't want to intrude.
"Let's go home." he whispered.
I clutched my stomach as we walked through the crowd of people in Faneuil Hall. Boston was a vibrant young city full of different people and different cultures. Everything was loud and big and chaotic. Emmett would fit in just fine. He had the ability to adapt to any situation no matter how big or how small. He would make friends in no time.
I would be fine. I would survive this because it's not like he was dead. He was just further away then I would have liked. Everything is going to be alright. It has to be.
ooOoo
Author's Note:
Hey y'all! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, your support means so much to me! I'm trying to make the chapters shorter and you may have noticed that I put in a little pov of Edward! Somebody had asked for that and I thought that it would be fun to do a little change!
I don't want to spoil the ending of this story but it is supposed to be a HEA! However I'm not doing it in the way you would think. There are a lot of problems between Edward and Bella that need to be solved before they can be in any type of serious relationship.
Also, some of you may be wondering why I chose Boston of all places? I am from Massachusetts and I had to have some representation! That should be it for all and I hope you have a good week! Stay safe! I should update sometime around next week!
