29. The end of the pain
Carlos' P.O.V.
When I hit the floor, I immediately noticed that someone was laying me on something soft. I blinked several times and my vision became a little clearer. The face of a crying Evie appeared over me and my head was in her lap as she stroked my hair trembling. Jay and Mal knelt beside me and were clearly fighting with tears. They shouldn't cry. Not because of me.
"Please don't cry," I whispered, and that was so incredibly difficult for me alone. Mal looked up, her eyes glittering sadly.
"How then, Carlos? You will leave us forever now." When she said that, everything contracted in me. Forever. No. I would not.
"No, Mal. I won't leave you forever. I know we'll see each other again. And I told you I'll always be with you." But I knew that it would now be time to say goodbye. And that almost broke my heart, but I took a deep breath and turned to Mal. "Mal, I can't say enough thank you for everything. For always being there for me and supporting me. For your help, brought us to turn to the good. That you were always with me. Thank you." Mal swallowed and took my hand in hers. She stroked her thumb gently and a tear ran down her cheek. I actually managed to get a little smile and smile at her reassuringly. Mal smiled back.
"You're incredibly strong, Carlos. And I'm really proud of you for what you've done." A warmth spread through my heart. I was so incredibly grateful that someone was proud of me. But it was so much more. I couldn't say how grateful I was that they were all my friends. There were simply no words for that. Finally, I turned to Jay.
"Jay, you know that I never had a big brother and then I met you. Thank you for always protecting me, even if I sometimes didn't notice. You were always there for me and you are closed to become my big brother. Thank you for doing everything to protect me." Jay looked at me with incredible sadness and anger.
"But I couldn't protect you from your illness! I should have done more! I should have-" I interrupted him immediately. I knew he blamed himself that I dying from the disease, but he couldn't have done anything about it. And I knew that he was to blame for the fact that I had fought, although he couldn't have prevented it.
"Stop it, Jay. You did what you could. There's nothing to blame yourself for." Jay nodded and suddenly hugged me. I returned the hug in surprise.
"I'm so sorry about how I treated you before, little brother." Little brother. A big smile stole on my face and I felt that I was getting weaker and weaker.
"It's all right, Jay." With these words, he broke away from me and also gave me a small smile. I took a deep breath before I got to the part that would hurt me the most.
"Evie, you were the first person to show me anything other than hate. From the beginning, you were incredibly important to me. And as time and experiences have grown, it has grown more and more. I am so thankful to you that you showed me what love is and that I was allowed to experience it with you. Evie, I love you and I will always do it." Slowly it was hard for me to suppress the tears. Evie leaned down and kissed me directly on the mouth. I smiled slightly and enjoyed the wonderful feeling in my stomach for the last time. I knew it was over. I felt tears on my cheek, but I didn't know if they were mine or Evie. She gently pulled away from me and stroked my cheek, weeping.
"I love you too, Carlos." I gently took her hand and looked at the others again. They cried too. I already missed her so incredibly. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open, but I still wanted to see them all until it was completely over. I was so incredibly happy that through these three special people I had learned what love and friendship meant. I breathed in again and realized that it was over now.
"Tell Dude that I love him. I love you and will always be with you." With these words, I closed my eyes and everything went black.
