Author's Note: in the aftermath of "Deadlock" (and "Investigations")


Chakotay sat in his quarters with his medicine bundle spread out before him. He clutched the smooth stone in his hands and closed his eyes to the material world.

"A-koo-chee-moya. Far from the places of my ancestors, I seek the wisdom of my spirit guide. I wish to speak with the one called Wolf."

When he opened his eyes again, he found himself kneeling in the grass by the side of a crystal-clear lake. Autumn leaves swirled around him and the scent of pollen rose up from the daisies surrounding him. He had been to this place many times before, in childhood. It was his favourite place to relax and reflect, away from the rest of the world. He breathed in the clean air and released the tension from his shoulders.

"What troubles you?" a soft voice asked over his shoulder.

"I don't know how to forgive my friend for betraying my trust," he replied. "She went completely behind my back and cooked up a hairbrained scheme that involved me but she didn't bother to tell me about it until it was too late. I thought we had an understanding."

"Perhaps you did not understand the nature of the understanding."

"What do you mean?"

"You are very trusting, Chakotay." The silver wolf laid down beside him with its head in his lap, its big brown eyes looking up at him. "How can you be sure you can trust this one?"

"I just know I can," he said. "I trust her with my life, and I thought she trusted me." He absently began scratching behind one of the wolf's ears.

"True trust is not about having no secrets," the wolf murmured, leaning into the scratches. "True trust means knowing that even when they are keeping something from you, they are not doing so with the intention of harming you. If she has apologized for hurting you, she is not your enemy.

"The road you walk has many twists and turns ahead. You would do well to know who are your enemies and who are your allies. And once you find someone you can trust, hold on to her through everything." The wolf beside him began to fade out of existence, but its words still echoed. "You will never completely know the person behind her many masks, but if you trust her, then you do not need know completely."


"Ensign, would you hand me a hyperspanner?" Janeway held out a hand and felt the cold metal instrument slide onto her fingers.

"Captain, can we talk?"

She dropped the spanner and swore as she zapped her finger on a power socket trying to catch it. "Sure, Commander."

Chakotay knelt down beside her and the open power conduit. The ensign who had been assisting her with repairs was nowhere in sight.

"I just want to apologize for being distant lately," he said. "I felt rather… betrayed when you didn't trust me about that stunt Paris pulled to find the traitor."

"I told you, I wanted to trust you. Tuvok was the one who was adamantly against it."

"And you went along with it anyway." Chakotay sighed. "Look, I don't want to reopen old wounds. I want to try and move past it. Get back to the way things were."

"I'd like that," Kathryn nodded. "Maybe dinner tonight in my quarters? It'll have to be ration packs till we get the replicators back online, but I've got some real whiskey stashed away to wash it down with."

"I'll be there."

Kathryn held out a hand and he took it, smiling. "Friends?" she asked.

"Friends."

Over an hour later, Janeway finally tore herself away from the repair efforts, grabbed some ration packs, and returned to her quarters. They were a mess, but still habitable. She kicked some fallen debris out of the way to get to the cabinet containing the case of her favourite whiskey.

When Chakotay entered a few minutes later, he found the captain stretched out on the couch, her jacket, turtleneck, and boots scattered on the floor, and a glass of whiskey in her hand. "Bad day?" he asked.

"Could have been worse," she replied. She gestured with her free hand to the bottle and empty glass on the coffee table beside her. "Help yourself."

Chakotay poured himself a glass and took the seat opposite the sofa. "How are you doing?"

"Me? I'm fine."

"Try again."

Kathryn glared at him over the rim of her glass. "Okay, I'm a little unsettled."

"About that other Voyager?"

"They could so easily have been us, Chakotay," she said, sitting upright. "But instead it was them who all died, and who knows how many got brutalized by the Vidiians. I can't stop thinking about them. I was steeling myself to destroy our ship, but then it was them who…" She trailed off and sighed.

"Fate works in mysterious ways," Chakotay remarked.

"Gods rest their souls." Kathryn threw back the rest of her whiskey and reached for the bottle. "So how's your day been? Better than mine, I hope?"

"I talked with my spirit guide earlier."

"Oh?"

"They helped me realize that, despite everything, I still trust you. And I want you to know that. But in the future I would appreciate being brought in on whatever schemes you and Tuvok cook up."

"I Promise."

"Good."

"And… I'm sorry about that. I should have brought you in on it from the start. I didn't think about how much it would jeopardize our friendship."

"You're already forgiven."

"Thank you."

"There's one more thing I've been meaning to tell you," Chakotay said. "Voyager has a ghost."

Kathryn sat up a little straighter. "A ghost, huh?"

"Some sort of guardian spirit who has decided to watch over the crew."

"And how do you know this?"

"I, uh… I met them when I was having an out-of-body experience."

"Do you… have those experiences often?" Kathryn tilted her head.

"No. But aren't you worried? I mean, who is this spirit? Why has it taken such an interest in Voyager's crew? What are its intentions? How can we know it's benevolent?"

"I think," Kathryn swirled the whiskey in her glass thoughtfully, "if its intentions were bad we would be seeing evidence of that. But if it hasn't even shown itself to the rest of us at all, let alone shown itself to be bad, maybe… we should give it the benefit of the doubt."

"That's very generous of you," Chakotay said.

Kathryn shrugged. "I'm in a generous mood. Now, more whiskey?"

"Gods, yes."