A/N: Hey readers! If any of you have a minute to spare, please go to my profile and take a poll at the top of it. Thank you :)


His heart collapsed. It fell and just shattered. He stopped breathing. There was physical pain within him without a cause. He could feel vomit fly up to his throat. The way Two-Bit's words lingered through his ears and to his brain made his entire body shut down.

Your pills!

"Oh my God, Two-Bit!" Steve threw his hands on top of his head, "I have to go now!" There was no stopping to think or come up with other possible explanations. Steve just had to go and he took off for the exit. Two-Bit put things together for Steve, and he felt completely stupid for it.

"I'm coming with you!" Two-Bit began running behind Steve. He couldn't let Steve go by himself. If he drove, he'd for sure get pulled over from speeding or reckless driving. As reasonable as it'd be, the police wouldn't give Steve much sympathy. As they approached the car, Two-Bit grabbed Steve. "Let...me drive," Two-Bit said out of breath.

"Two-Bit, there's no time..."

"Steve, you are not in good shape to drive! You'll crash! Just give them to me!" Two-Bit demanded.

Steve knew he didn't have time to argue, even if it was over his driving skills. He shoved the keys at Two-Bit and got in the passenger seat. Two-Bit started up the car with shaky hands and got out of the parking lot.

"How Two-Bit?" Steve said in a panicky voice, "How did I not catch what he was saying! I'm so fucking stupid!" Steve slammed his fist against the dashboard. He was enraged with himself. If he could, he would beat the shit out of himself. He let his guard down to be vulnerable, and something horrible could be happening because of it.

"You were shocked by something terrible that just happened. You weren't thinking straight."

"That's the problem! I should have been thinking. I should have been paying attention. I shouldn't have let what happened get to me," Steve gripped his hair and pulled.

"You've have to be heartless to not react to what just happened, Steve. You were crying with me, and crying with Darry. It was expected of you to get effected by this just as much as everyone else," Two-Bit explained, "I know you like to put on this idea that you're made of stone, but you're not!"

Steve felt the tears rush down as he began to panic, "It's been a couple hours though. He could have already done something. He's already done it. Oh my God Two-Bit, he's already done it! Darry will never forgive me! I'll never forgive myself!"

"You don't know that!" Two-Bit barked, "Now stop, damnit! Keep yourself together!"

Steve leaned forward and cried into his hands, "I can't believe I let this happen." Steve felt completely helpless. The vulnerability that he was feeling was too much. He was out of control of what they could be walking into, but he should have been in control the entire time. All he had promised Soda was that be would be there for him. He was going to keep Soda going and be the strength he needed. Steve felt that he had broken that promise. Just a couple hours ago, Soda was lower than rock bottom and didn't want to go on with his life without his little brother, and Steve hadn't given him the strength and courage he needed to keep going. Steve opened the opportunity door to give up, and Soda walked right through it. Everything Steve had done for Soda throughout all of this was about to go to waste. Steve began crying hard, on the verge of hyperventilating, when he realized he failed Soda. Steve had to admit he had failed his best friend.


Before Two-Bit could get the car in park, Steve threw the passenger door open, hurried up the porch, and ran inside the Curtis house. Two-Bit could have ran over Steve's foot trying to park, and Steve wouldn't have cared. "Soda!" Steve called out as the door swung open. No one was in the living room, but he did spot Soda's shoes on the couch. "Fuck!" He ran upstairs skipping steps. The first door was Soda and Pony's room. He looked inside, but saw no one. His heart began pounding. Across the hall was Soda's old room. No one. He felt beads of sweat starting to form.

Looking down the hall at the rest of the doors, Steve saw the bathroom door was closed. He slammed his fist against the door, "Soda!" No answer. "Damnit, Soda! Open the door!" He tried jiggling the handle, but it was locked. "Soda! Please, if you're in there," Steve tried yelling, but the tears were forcing him to choke out his words, "J-Just open the door." There was still silence.

Adrenaline kicked in as Steve backed up against the wall. He got his foot ready, and kicked at the door.

"Steve?" Two-Bit called from downstairs, "What are you doing?"

Taking a breath and realigning himself, Steve lifted his foot and took another kick. The door slightly budged open. Steve used all his force to push against the door, feeling it fall forward as it broke open. Steve looked in and saw Soda sitting on the side of the bathtub. He was holding Steve's pill bottle and had one hand on the cap. "I can't get this stupid bottle open!" Soda cried. Steve launched forward. He put one arm around Soda and grabbed the bottle with the other hand. "No, Steve! No!" Soda yelled. Steve wouldn't budge. He already messed up, and nothing was going to make him let go of the bottle. He fought until Soda's grip finally gave in and let go. The cap broke off and the pills flew everywhere. There was silence for a second, the only sound being the clinging of the pills onto the floor.

"Why!" Soda cried at Steve, "Why would you do that to me?" Steve pulled Soda against him, and held on tight. He knew Soda was screaming, but he wasn't hearing anything he was saying. All he was focused on was the grace of some force that had miraculously been on his side.

Two-Bit was at the doorway by then and watched the two greasers slowly fall to the floor, Steve refusing to let go even as Soda tried fighting him off. Looking up towards the ceiling, Two-Bit whispered, "God, please. Please."

Steve and Soda just stayed on the floor and cried together. Two-Bit stayed at the doorway just waiting. He refused to look at the pills on the bathroom floor, the ones that could have caused more damage if they were another minute late.


Steve sat on the bed, watching his best friend sleep. It took a long time to get out of the bathroom, and then some more time to get Soda to relax in bed. He didn't say anything as he lay in bed. Only soft cries and whispered apologies escaped his trembling lips. At one point, Steve almost believed Soda wasn't sure where he was or what had just happened. Steve couldn't believe what almost happened either. It wasn't until he watched Soda's still, sleeping body that the deep realization hit him. He could have lost Soda. Darry could have lost Soda. For good. Steve knew Soda hadn't been thinking straight, and he may not be for a while.

Getting up, Steve walked out of the room with his head hung low. He quietly closed the door, and leaned his head against it. This entire time, all he had done was make promises to Soda. He failed him.

Steve quietly patted the door a couple of times and turned to walk to the bathroom. Looking at the door, Steve knew it wasn't going to shut correctly, but the hingest were still attached at least. Two-Bit was on the floor trying to gather the pills.

Sighing, Steve swung his hand up, "What are you doing man?"

"Just cleaning," Two-Bit said putting a couple of pills in the bottle.

Steve looked at the remaining pills on the floor and shook his head, "Just toss them."

"Steve, I can't just do that."

"I should have never let Soda take them in the first place," Steve covered his mouth, feeling sick, "I should have never told him about them or about my problem. It almost..."

"Just go downstairs Steve, I'll take care of this, alright?"

Steve turned away, and walked down the hall. He was thankful Two-Bit was picking up the pills, because Steve knew he wouldn't be able to do that right now. He wouldn't have minded if Two-Bit did throw them away though, because he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to look at them again.


After Two-Bit had cleaned up, he headed out to find Dally and Johnny. They weren't sure if the news had gotten around yet, but they were hoping Dally and Johnny would hear it from them first. Steve couldn't talk to anyone else at the moment. He was done with the day.

When Two-Bit returned to the Curtis house, he had Johnny with him. "Hey," Steve greeted as he started organizing the living room, "Where's Dally?"

Two-Bit had his arm around Johnny as he responded, "He told me to just bring Johnny here and he was going to go out. So, I guess it's us here tonight." Steve looked up and down at Johnny. He could barely look at his face. There didn't seem to be any evidence of tears, but it looked like his world had been destroyed. His face said he wasn't believing anything he was told, that it was just a cruel joke. Johnny simply walked through the living room and headed for the back door.

"Did you call Darry?" Two-Bit asked as Johnny stepped outside.

"Yeah," Steve nodded.

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"Of course not," Steve shook his head.

Two-Bit sighed, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Two-Bit, I'm not about to tell Darry what his little brother tried to do after his other little brother is already..." Steve stopped and continued cleaning around the living room.

"Alright, I can dig it for now," Two-Bit ran a hand down his hair and neck, "So what are we going to do about this?"

Steve shrugged, "Just keep an eye on him."

"You don't want to take him to a doctor or something?"

"I don't know yet. I'm not sure if he'll actually try it again. He may wake up and be a little calmer. Besides, if I put him in the hospital, Darry will obviously find out."

"Steve."

Steve looked up, "What?"

"This is serious. This can't be something you handle yourself."

"I'm not saying that."

"Like hell you aren't," Two-Bit snapped, "I'm not going to let this one slide as something you'll take care of. No one else worry about it."

"Can we please just get through today first?" Steve asked with an irritating tone, "Can we please just get 1 day into Ponyboy being gone? Can we please just get some grieving time in before we jump into something else? Can I please stop getting asked how I'm going to help Soda through yet another obstacle we didn't ask for, damnit!" Steve threw the dishes he was holding, letting them slam onto the ground, some chipping and some breaking, "I do not have an answer to everything."

Steve fell back into the armchair and let his head fall into his hands. It had only been six hours or so since this all began. But it was feeling like days, weeks, or even months. Steve felt like he couldn't catch up with it all. He looked at the dishes on the floor, the little bits of glass that flew to the rug, and the mess of food that had gone from the plates to the floor. Steve didn't cry though. He stared at everything in anger, but tears streamed down his face. His lips didn't even quiver. The tears just went down his face without any sort of crying.

Two-Bit walked over and put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry Steve. I didn't mean to get on your case."

Steve shook his head, "Why couldn't he have just come home?"

Two-Bit bit his lip as his vision became blurry from tears, "I-I don't know man."

"Why can't he be here right now? Why can't he be right on the couch saying 'Why did you throw those dishes on the floor?' or 'Why do you have to be so mad all the time?'" Steve wiped his eyes, "Why can't he be here asking me a thousand questions about something and getting on my nerves?"

Two-Bit couldn't help, but chuckle, "You really going to miss all of that, huh?"

"I'll take it everyday for the rest of my life over what I'm feeling right now."

Two-Bit pulled Steve into a hug.