Hiding

Written by JaJaLoo


Plot: Nicholas and Jackson fake their deaths and go into hiding due to an insurance scam, leading Patrick to go to war with GEICO.


If funds were a problem at 2004 Wentz Avenue before, it was bad now.

Patrick awoke one morning to see the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and...he was not in a good mood.

That's because he got kicked out of the hockey arena.

Again.

He broke the glass to the penalty box, and embarrassed Nemo to death.

He stomped downstairs to see the guys eating bowls of cereal.

"Well, look who's up." Nemo said. "Have a good night last night?"

Patrick glared at him and poured a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"Why are you guys having cereal?" he asked.

"It's Nicholas' turn to cook this week." Berry said. "He's late, so we decided to just have some cereal this morning."

Will took another crunch of his cereal, and then noticed something amiss.

"Guys? When did we get two extra gravestones?" he asked.

Everyone dropped their spoons and ran outside.


"No..." Nemo said.

The gravestones belonged to Nicholas and Jackson.

"What happened? What did I miss?" Patrick asked.

"Look, there's an envelope here. It might have some information." Wildcat pointed out.

Will walked over, and picked up the envelope, opening it.

To all the users at the Calvin and Hobbes Fanon Wiki, due to circumstances beyond our control, we have run out into the woods. Do not come looking for us. If you are reading this, we are probably dead by now. Signed, Nicholas M. and Jackson K.

Will dropped the letter.

"They are dead." he said.

"OK, I'm confused." Berry chimed in. "What do they mean by circumstances beyond our control?"

Nemo stared at Patrick, who shrunk.

"I think I know the issue." Nemo said.

Suddenly, all eyes were on Patrick.

He gave them all an uneasy look.

"I might have smashed the penalty box at the arena and gotten kicked out again..." Patrick said.

Everyone groaned.

"Great! Now we're bankrupt again!" Wildcat shouted.

"Wait, wait!" Will said. "Didn't Nicholas fill out an insurance form a while ago?"

Everyone ran inside.

But pan over to a bush.

Inside was Nicholas and Jackson.

"They bought it." Nicholas said.

"I told you. They're super gullible." Jackson said.

They ran out of the bush and into the street, where they were able to catch a departing bus.

"Where should we go?" Nicholas asked.

"I rented a trailer park in Arizona." Jackson replied.

"Why Arizona?"

"Raising Arizona is a good film, that's why."

Nicholas' eyes widened.


"A scam?" Nemo asked, as he read the form.

"Jesus, Patrick..." Berry groaned.

"What? Me? What did I do?" Patrick asked.

"Well, according to you, you broke the penalty box glass." Wildcat said. "With all your antics, I'm surprised you're not on the arena's hit list.

That got a paper airplane flown into Wildcat's head.

"So, let's recap here." Will said. "Nicholas and Jackson died due to getting scammed by GEICO?"

"Three deaths already. That has to be a new wiki record." Nemo said.

"You know, I say we go to GEICO and give them a piece of our mind! They killed Nicholas!" Patrick yelled.

"And Jackson." Berry corrected.

"You sometimes forget Jackson moved in." Nemo said.

"Whatever. Will, draw up some battle plans."


Meanwhile, Nicholas and Jackson had arrived at the trailer park.

"Alright, hopefully, after a week, we can arrive home and not have the house be burned down." Nicholas said.

"I mean, do you trust Patrick without us?" Jackson asked.

"Not really, no."

The two walked into their rented trailer.

"Nice place." Jackson said. "I call the couch."

"Why?"

"We are not sleeping together. Remember the road trip? You kept touching my..."

"OK, OK!" Nicholas shouted. "Don't bring that up again."

"So, what do you want for dinner? I can go get some Arby's." Jackson asked.

"Arby's is gross. I'd prefer a burger."

"Well, there's an In-N-Out Burger in Arizona. I'll just have to find it."


The next day, the local GEICO office was pretty hard at work.

The phones were ringing, and there was customers complaining about their insurance.

But it was about to get crazy.

Nemo, Will, Patrick, Berry, and Wildcat entered the office.

Patrick cracked his knuckles.

"LISTEN UP, GEICO NERDS!" he yelled into a megaphone.

Everyone looked at him.

"YOU ARE THE REASON FOR THE DEATHS OF OUR FRIENDS!"

The workers looked around.

"NOW YOU SHALL PAY!"

Patrick grabbed a nearby chair and threw it across the room.

The users followed.

By the end of the day, they had turned the office upside down.

Every single computer was smashed, monitors too, desks were flipped over, files were all over the place, and several workers were either unconscious or really hurt.

"That's what you get." Patrick said, as he left the office.

The users followed him out.


Meanwhile, Jackson had arrived at the trailer, carrying some bags with burgers.

"Hey, I got you a cheeseburger, some fries, and a chocolate shake." he said.

He saw Nicholas' eyes glued to the TV.

"What happened?"

"A GEICO office back home got destroyed."

"So? They scammed us." Jackson said.

"No, look at the footage." Nicholas pointed out.

It showed the users wrecking the office, and Will finding the camera and punching it.

"That's Will." Jackson said.

"No duh." Nicholas replied.

"I knew they bought it."

"Should we go back?" Nicholas asked.

Jackson thought of that.

"Nah. Give them another three days, see what they did, and then we go back."


Three days went by.

Patrick had led attacks on GEICO, even trying to get Nemo to build him a bomb to nuke the GEICO headquarters.

Naturally, he refused.

Meanwhile, Nicholas and Jackson had stayed locked up in their trailer, watching TV and eating takeout food.

It went well, until Jackson decided to prank call the house.

He recorded a message on a tape recorder, and played in reverse.

Back at the house, Patrick was on the other line.

"GUYS! I have a message from GEICO!" he yelled.

Everyone ran in.

"What did it say?" Wildcat asked.

"Well, it was in reverse, but it did say Anozira Ni Evila Era Noskcaj Dna Salohcin."

Berry stepped forward. He was pretty good at reciting backwards language.

"I have reason to believe that that message said Nicholas and Jackson are alive in Arizona." he said, proudly.

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"I knew it!" Nemo said. "Everyone! In the truck!"


Meanwhile, Nicholas was cornering Jackson.

"Great, you gave us their information. Now we have to escape!" Nicholas said.

"Not to worry." Jackson said. "I came prepared."

Jackson ran outside and grabbed an old Toyota Camry he had been fixing.

"When did you make that?" Nicholas asked.

"Since we arrived. Saw it in a junkyard. My grandfather taught me well." Jackson said. "Get in."

And they sped off.


Meanwhile, Nemo's truck drove all the way to Arizona.

"I don't see them." Wildcat said.

"Well, we haven't searched the entire state, Wildcat." Berry said.

Suddenly, the Toyota pulled up at the road perpendicular to them.

Nicholas noticed.

"Oh, no. It's Nemo's truck. STEP ON IT!" he yelled.

Jackson floored it, and the Camry sped away.

"I think that's them!" Nemo said.

Nemo's truck followed the car.

The car chase went on for hours, until it came to a bridge.

Nemo got the bright idea to ram the Camry off the bridge.

Which he did, and it sent both cars flying into a ditch.

Nemo's truck landed safely on the ground.

The Camry, however, did suffer a lot of damage, and it rolled around.

And after it came to a full stop, it exploded.

"Oh. My. God." Will said.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Patrick shouted.

"LOOK!" Wildcat shouted.

Two figures were climbing out of the wreckage.

It was Nicholas and Jackson, and they were still alive.

"YOU'RE ALIVE!" Nemo shouted.

Oddly, Nicholas and Jackson were not in fear.

They were laughing.

"What?" Patrick asked. "What's so funny?"

"APRIL FOOL'S!" Nicholas and Jackson said together.

The users all looked at them, and then started shouting at them.

"THIS WAS A PRANK?!" Nemo shouted.

"You've outpranked me!" Will shouted. "THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN!"

"SO WE TRASHED THE GEICO OFFICE FOR NOTHING?" Patrick yelled.

"WE'RE FACING A MAJOR LAWSUIT NOW!" Berry screamed.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Wildcat added, angrily.

Nicholas and Jackson looked at each other and smirked.

And all was well with the wiki again.


CAST

NMMacc18 - Nicholas

JaJaLoo - Jackson

NLG343 - Nemo

ElectricSupernova - Will

Pjdem06 - Patrick

StrayberryFilling - Berry

NotWildcat - Wildcat


Next episode: Hi, We're the KidzBop Kids! - Will and Nemo buy tickets for a KidzBop concert as a dare. They instantly regret it.