The next morning arrived. A day of confusion, anger, anguish, and pain had passed. Steve had gone to sleep with those feelings, dreading what was to come on the other side of the sun. He had no idea what was about to come for him. He had to try and process everything yesterday, and had to prepare to move on from it. That's all he could wish for at this point is to simply move on without feeling. There wasn't even a hint of fear that this was a trick of his father's. Steve knew. He knew that his father was gone. When Steve opened his eyes and saw the sun peeking in through the blinds, he was surprised to actually feel rested. There was a feeling of being replenished, but also too tired to repeat those feelings from the day before. His mind and body couldn't take that, but he also felt as if some weight was naturally lifting off without him having to try. He just felt done with everything. He didn't want to let his father win by sulking into those feelings. His father didn't care if he was being affected anyway. He was done with Steve, and Steve had to be done with him. It was a new day. It was the beginning of a new life that was going to start whether he was ready or not.


"What's the plan today?" Darry asked. Soda looked over at Steve from across the kitchen table as they ate some breakfast. He wasn't sure what to say to Steve yet. He didn't want to hear Steve say he was still upset over his father. If he heard those words, Soda knew he may react with anger. He didn't want Steve to get that vibe though. It would just make it a longer process for Steve to get through it all. Soda didn't want it to be obvious the way he was feeling. Unfortunately they were best friends, so it'd be near impossible to hide it. Soda wanted him to be over it now, but he knew he'd have to have patience, and give Steve some time. Even if he didn't like it, or completely understand it, he'd have to give Steve his time to figure it out.

"I'm not sure," Steve replied.

"Do you want to go anywhere?" Darry asked.

"Not really," Steve said taking a bite of the eggs on his plate.

Darry set the two pills next to Steve, "How is everything feeling?"

Steve looked down at the pills, knowing he was going to be on them for some time. He'd have to go back to the doctor eventually to check his infection was passing okay. He wasn't even sure the last time he had looked at his back. "Decent. Walking is feeling okay."

"Well the more you do it the better it will get," Darry sat down with his own plate of breakfast, "If you want to take a slow day that's fine. Just let us know if there's anything you want to do."

"Thanks," Steve said. He looked over at Soda, who was just looking down at his food.


"Want a cigarette?" Two-Bit asked as he extended his hand with the pack in it.

Dally accepted the offer, "Yeah."

"Steve?"

Steve held his hand up and shook his head, "No. Cigarettes make me feel kind of sick right now."

Two-Bit and Dally lit up. They stood in the driveway while Steve sat on the bottom porch step.

"How was it? Going home, and seeing that?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve looked down, "It was hard. I didn't really understand it. Hell, I don't know if I still understand it."

"We weren't even sure what we were seeing," Two-Bit shook his head, "We kept going back and forth on what it could all mean, but...only one thing made the most sense."

"Has he ever done this before?" Dally asked.

Steve shook his head, "He's left at times, but he's never taken his clothes. He's never taken everything. He's just done his storming out and coming back."

"I know it's a shock and everything's different now," Two-Bit said taking a long drag, "But you will get through this."

"He's not going to hurt you anymore," Dally said, "You'll be okay kid."

Steve looked up at his friends. The sincerity in their eyes told him it really would be okay. They truly believed, they truly knew Steve was going to be just fine. They knew Steve could continue life and would survive it strong-willed. Out of all people, if Two-Bit and Dally knew all of that would be true, how could Steve not have hope too? "Yeah. I will."

Nothing else was said. The two greasers let Steve think about what they had to say. Dally and Two-Bit finished their cigarettes and walked inside the house. Steve stayed outside. He let his mind run, as the words his two friends had said repeated over and over. As he kept hearing their words, he could feel himself believing them more and more. His father never cared, and Steve's life would move forward just fine.

After some time in thought, Johnny arrived at the Curtis house, making his way up the driveway.

"Hey Johnny," Steve greeted.

"Hey Steve. What are you doing out here alone?"

"Just thinking, I guess," Steve shrugged.

"I'm sure you have a lot of that to do," Johnny sat down next to Steve.

"Hmm, yeah," Steve tapped his foot, "Johnny, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Does it really not bother you the way your parents are? That you aren't wanted by them?"

Johnny shrugged, "Maybe at a time it did, but not really anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because that's been my whole life," Johnny said, "I was never wanted at home."

"Oh," Steve looked down.

"I know why you're asking that, but what you're going through ain't like my home man," Johnny said, "I've always lived this life. I get hit around a bit and ignored, but they don't care enough to control me or nearly kill me. Your dad wanted to control you and wouldn't flinch at the idea to eventually kill you."

Steve looked up at Johnny, surprised at the observation, "I guess you're right."

Johnny got up and turned to go up the rest of the porch, "I know you've compared us since this all started for you, but yours really is different. I'm not wanted at home, but I'm in the least bit safe. You weren't safe."

Steve bit his lip and cringed at that word. Safe. That word never crossed his mind when he thought of Johnny's home life. He never questioned if Johnny was actually safe. Everyone just knew he'd have good days at home and bad days at home. No one ever rushed over, because they were worried he could be dead. Johnny knew the days to leave his house and keep his distance, and even then it wasn't because his safety was in jeopardy. It was simply because he wasn't going to deal with the abuse. Steve's house wasn't safe. His father wasn't a safe person to be around. That's why Soda and Darry took their opportunities to go over to the Randle house and intervene. They had the idea in the back of their minds that Steve could be killed. They all knew the painful truth of that when Steve doubted it could ever get to that point.

Steve turned and looked up at the young greaser, who was still there waiting. "Thanks Johnny."


He just stared at his reflection. The bathroom door was closed, trying to instill some privacy. His eyes wandered around his face. It still had some discoloration, there was a popped blood vessel in one eye that would take some time to heal up. His face looked like it was starting to come back down to it's regular shape, not as swelled up or seriously bruised. It wouldn't be too long before he could recognize the man in the mirror again.

That gave him some hope that maybe the rest wasn't as bad. Coming face to face with the parts he hadn't seen, the beatings he hadn't come forward to, was what he needed to push forward. He took the confidence he was feeling and grabbed the arm sleeve of his shirt. He tucked his arm in and repeated on the other side. Lifting his shirt, he brought it over his head, exposing his chest and stomach. He quickly tossed the clothing aside.

Looking to the floor, he slowly turned around and faced the wall.


"Hey Steve."

Steve looked up from sitting on Soda's bed and saw Ponyboy at the doorway. "Hey kid."

Pony looked down towards the floor, "It still shakes me up sometimes."

"Huh?"

"When I walked in here and found you on the floor. A nightmare has never made me do that. I just...I had no idea it had gotten so bad," Pony explained, "I was scared for you. I had never seen you like that before."

"Yeah well I haven't been put through all of this before."

"I always see you as such a tough greaser, in a lot of ways. I would have thought nothing could ever break you down. I saw you on the floor like that and it wasn't just physical pain. I could see it in your eyes that there was so much more," Pony leaned against the doorway, "If Steve Randle was broken down, then what?"

Steve looked up at Ponyboy, "Didn't know you thought so highly of me."

Pony grinned, "I guess I thought it was impossible for you to ever be hurting."

"Yeah, makes two of us."

"So, now you're going to live with us, huh?"

Steve sighed, "Got nowhere else to go."

"Yeah," Pony looked down, "Soda told me your dad just ditched out."

"Yep, he did," Steve nodded, "I wasn't worth anything to him anymore."

"I mean, were you ever?"

Steve looked up, "What?"

"I mean, I know he never hurt you like this before. But he still never cared about you. He didn't give a damn about you, he kicked you out all the time. If you left way before he became this crazy, he wouldn't have cared where you ended up anyway," Pony explained, "So, were you ever worth anything to him?"

Steve was quiet. He had to give Pony and Johnny some more credit. They were observant, and they were smart. Apparently smarter than he was, as they knew the truth of Steve's home life and his father better than he did. Or had he just always refused to see it himself?

"I'm sorry," Pony said as he watched Steve's facial expressions change.

"No, no," Steve said, "You're right. I didn't want to see it that way, but you are right."

"I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you more upset."

"Surprisingly, what you said is probably what's going to help me get through this," Steve nodded.

"Okay," Pony turned to leave, "I hope you're doing okay."

Steve slowly stood up from the bed, his back barely hurting, as the emotional baggage he had been carrying was starting to rise. "I am."


He looked down at the floor. There lay his shirt. His back was exposed. It was facing the mirror. He had to mentally prepare himself to turn his face and look, really look. 'It couldn't be worse,' Steve thought to himself, 'It can only be healing.' Steve wasn't sure if the back could get uglier as it healed up though. It was a sensitive part of the body, considering how much damage it had done to him.

Lifting his head, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. His lips closed as he held it. He kept it in and kept it in as long as he could bear. As his chest began to burn, he opened his eyes and slowly let the air escape. "Now or never," he whispered to himself.

Slowly looking to the left, Steve glanced into the mirror to get a good angle. He looked towards the bottom of the mirror. There were the purple stains across his lower back. There were the scratches. There were scabs. There were deeper wounds closing up and healing. Steve just stared.


The two best friends hadn't spoken yet that day. Soda was taking his space until he knew he could confront Steve with the best intentions in mind. He knew he had to get himself on good terms with what was happening, and understand where Steve was coming from with however he may be feeling. It was the late afternoon when Soda finally felt confident enough to talk with Steve. He found Steve sitting in the backyard. The rest of the gang was in the living room, waiting to do whatever Steve needed. Soda was grateful for the friends they had, but he knew Steve needed his words more than anything.

Taking a deep breath, Soda opened the door and went to join his best friend, prepared to hear anything he may not want to.

"How are you feeling today?" Soda asked as they sat on the back porch.

"I'm feeling okay," Steve answered. He was happy to see Soda next to him, actually talking to him. Neither one of them said anything to continue on the conversation though. Soda's mind went back and forth on different directions to take it. He could make small talk or get to the point. He could keep Steve steady or trigger an emotional roller coaster.

"I'm sorry I seemed mad yesterday. I just...I was feeling happy to think...to think he was gone and out of our lives. You weren't happy, you seemed so sad and so beaten, and I just didn't understand why," Soda said.

"It's not like I don't see the good in it, Soda. I won't get hurt anymore, I know that. I just felt hurt yesterday that he could just do that to me. That's all."

"Do you still feel hurt by it?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah. I might for awhile, but...I'm not begging for him to come back." He looked over at Soda and saw him looking out into the backyard. He didn't want Soda to think he was wanting his father to come back. That wasn't the meaning behind his feelings. "Soda, I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Would you say...I was never worth anything to my dad? Before all of this shit went down, was I ever worth anything? Ever?"

Soda shrugged, "I don't know. Why are you thinking about that?"

"I was talking to Pony, and he had said how you told him about my dad leaving. I said I wasn't worth anything to him anymore, and the kid had asked if I ever was? I wasn't sure how to answer, but when Pony explained himself, it all made sense. My dad kicked me out a lot, and he didn't care where I went or if anything happened to me. He never cared."

"Pony is pretty smart," Soda smiled.

"I guess before this all happened, I just didn't think of me being worth anything to him. It was how our home life had been for a long time. It was my normal. All he wanted out of me was to behave and not piss him off, and our home was fine," Steve explained, "But then it turned into that not being good enough for him. I had to become a punching bag to be worth anything to him. That just hurt so much more than me just being a kid who was around sometimes. I just didn't really care or feel bad for myself with the normal."

Soda nodded, "Pony's right though. Even with that normal, you weren't worth anything to him."

"Yeah."

Soda looked at his best friend as he became quiet, "I know you were having a hard time yesterday accepting all of this, but I want you to know you're going to be okay. The gang is here. Darry is here. I'm here. We ain't going anywhere. Your life is going to move on just fine."

Steve slowly nodded, "I know buddy. I actually am starting to see that everyone is right, that I'll be okay."


Darry walked into the kitchen that night and stopped. He saw Steve at the sink, washing dishes from dinner. That was a sight to see. Someone from the gang actually cleaning from a mess they had made. It made Darry chuckle to himself, even though he knew there was a deeper meaning behind it.

"I'll dry," Darry said grabbing a towel. Steve didn't respond as Darry took a wet plate. "Why are you doing the dishes?"

Steve shrugged, "Just relaxing right now."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm actually doing better than what I thought I'd be waking up to."

"Having a lot of feelings though?" Darry asked as he piled dry plates.

Steve nodded, "Yeah."

"Want to talk about them?"

"I just...I know it's all good he's gone. And I was starting to think to myself that I will be just fine, that there's no reason to be sad over him. But then there are still moments I feel sad again. I start thinking about walking through my house and realizing he was gone, and I question it again, if I'll be okay. Why can't I just be happy about it? I know everyone else is thrilled. Why am I the only one sad about it?"

"Because you've gone through a lot. A lot is about to change for you. I think you're hoping for some sort of closure, but...I'm sorry to say you aren't going to get it. At least not to the extent you want."

"Yeah."

"It's okay to feel the way you are Steve. Take it day by day. It will get easier."

Steve continued to run soap on the dishes and rinse them under the faucet. Darry was right. That is all he could do. He'd have to let tomorrow happen, let it pass, and then take on the next day. He'd have his good days and his bad days. He'd have his moments where no one would even think he was ever sad, and then he'd have his moments where no one would even think he was moving on. The gang would be there for him on either type of day, every step of the way. Especially the Curtis brothers. They were ready to have Steve live with them, without a second though. Even if his father hadn't left, they weren't going to give Steve a chance to argue. He was going to live with them and start a new life no matter if his father was around or not.

Darry said that Steve was hoping for closure, but he wouldn't get exactly the closure he was needing. His closure was to ask his father questions and get straight answers. Even if he could ask his father questions, there was no way he'd get the answers he hoped for. His father didn't care, that's why he did what he did. There was no deep meaning to it, even if Steve hoped for one.

Looking up at Darry, Steve asked, "Can you drive me somewhere?"


He couldn't take his eyes off his back. "You did this to me," Steve quietly said to himself, "But I can't let it hold me back. I have to move on." Steve felt the tears well up in his eyes. He let them fall, unable to turn away from the reflection. This was a big step, a huge step for him. He was able to stare at the injury and just take it in. There was a little fear, and a little anger filling him. But there was also a power of strength. It was a presentation of all he had gone through, in such a short amount of time, and he survived it. And the day his back looked normal again, he was only going to strive in his new life.

He turned completely around and looked at his reflection in the mirror again. He wiped his eyes. "I am okay."


They pulled up to a house. As soon as Steve saw the driveway still empty, that's all it was to him. Not his house, just a house. This was the last time he would be here. The plan was to never return. He couldn't look back at it if he wanted to walk forward. He stepped out of the truck and stood at the end of the driveway. He just looked up at it. Darry stayed in the truck, and just waited for any sign Steve needed him. There was no motivation for Steve to walk up. He had no desire to go walk around the house to see if his father had returned at all. He didn't want to search for any hope. He had already taken that one step of moving on, and he was feeling good about it.

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the object he had brought with. Looking down, it was the picture of his mom. She appeared happier in the photo. Like she was showing Steve how happy she was for him right now. Looking up towards the sky, Steve said to himself, "Thanks for not leaving my side. I love you."

He took one last look at the house, and turned back.

"Are you ready?" Darry asked as Steve closed the passenger door.

Steve looked at Darry and smiled, "Let's go home."


THE END

A/N: Thank you sooooo much everyone! Your endless support is what made this story what it is! I'm happy with it and am looking into if the story is suppose to continue on after this :) I hope you all enjoyed this! Thank you again!