Lucifer knocked on his father's office door. After thinking it over for over a week, he decided that he would see Chloe again. He didn't want to, but he knew he would not be able to move on until he did. He needed to hear the truth from her.
"Come in."
Lucifer walked inside and closed the door. He found his father seated behind his desk.
"Hello, son. Is everything alright?" God asked. He was slightly concerned because Lucifer didn't usually seek him out. Things were a little better between them, but they were far from healed. Lucifer still didn't want much to do with him. If he was here, there was a reason.
"I want to see her," Lucifer said, knowing his father would figure out who he was talking about.
God sighed. He knew it was coming. His son wasn't going to be able to go forever without seeing Chloe Decker at least one more time. As much as God hoped it wouldn't happen, he knew better. "Come sit for a minute."
"If you're going to say no, just say it," Lucifer snapped. Honestly, a part of him hoped his father did say no because he really didn't want to do this. He needed to, but he didn't want to. The other part of him was beyond irritated because his father told him he would be allowed to see the detective when he was ready.
"I'm not going to say no, Lucifer. I told you I would let you see her. I won't go back on my word. I would just like to talk with you for a few moments. Please, son," God said.
Lucifer walked over and sat down.
"I just want to be sure you're ready for this. This isn't going to be easy for you," God warned. His son had loved this woman and she'd utterly betrayed him. Seeing her was going to be extremely painful for him. He needed to realize that.
"Yes, I know that, Dad. I have to do it," he said.
God nodded. "Very well. You will need to call for me when you're done. There are no doors where she is and you won't be able to fly out.
"Fine," Lucifer said.
"One more thing. I want to make sure all blame stays where it belongs. I know what Chloe Decker meant to you. I don't want you to allow that to make you feel guilty. You are the victim. Please remember that," God said. He didn't think Decker would purposely manipulate him, but knowing his son, he would look for some reason that this was his doing.
Lucifer scowled. It was ironic that he'd say that now. His father had no trouble in the past with him being held accountable for what others had done.
"I know. I know I failed in the past in this regard. I'm sorry. I've done my utmost to ensure you are no longer blamed for the faults of others. If you ever return to Earth, you will find that most humans no longer view you the way they did. My goal now is to ensure you don't view yourself that way," God said.
Lucifer was very surprised to hear his father's words, that he'd changed the way humans viewed him. He never thought that would happen. In fact, he spent much of the past believing his father was responsible for the way humans saw him.
"Just please remember what I've said, son. Are you ready?" God asked.
Lucifer took a deep breath and stood up before nodded. He wasn't sure he was ready, but he was certain it wasn't going to get any better.
God waved his hand and his son disappeared.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
The next thing Lucifer knew, he was standing in an unfamiliar room. It wasn't what he expected. He figured he'd find Chloe in some sort of cell, but she wasn't. It looked like a traditional living room.
It didn't take long for Lucifer to locate the detective. He found her seated on the couch. She looked no different than she had the last time he saw her. It wasn't surprising. Souls looked how they wanted after they passed, even in Hell. In Hell, they looked how they did during their worst deeds.
It didn't take Chloe long to see Lucifer. When she did, she was shocked, though happy. She never thought she'd see him again. God had told her he didn't think Lucifer would likely even come back, but he was. "She immediately began to go to him. "Lucifer."
Lucifer took a few steps back as she approached him. She would not touch him. He could barely stand being in the room with her. He would not allow her to touch him.
Chloe stopped and looked down. She should've realized he wouldn't want her to touch him. If he was there with her, it was almost certain he knew what she did. Of course, he wouldn't let her too close. "I'm sorry. I should've known better. How long have you been back?
"You mean as I am now? Four months," Lucifer stated passively.
"And how long were you gone?" Chloe asked. She knew it was a while, but time stopped meaning much after she died. She wasn't sure how long it had been.
"A Century. I was in the form of a nine-year-old for almost a century," he said.
"It must have been difficult to come back from that. I can't imagine what you must have…"
"I didn't come here for small talk!" Lucifer snapped.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to know how it was for you," Chloe said.
Lucifer ignored her comment. "I came here because I need you to say what you did. See, I don't remember it. I can recall everything in the last century, except how I got the way I was. I don't even remember you showing up at my penthouse. And as it turns out, I can't truly accept what you did until you say it!"
Chloe nodded. "Do you wanna sit down."
"No, I do not. I want you to answer me," Lucifer said shortly.
Chloe took a deep breath. She didn't want to do this. Right now, Lucifer was angry. When she was done, there was a good chance he would hate her. She didn't want to see that, but this was what she got for what she did. Lucifer deserved the truth. He clearly couldn't move on without it. "I did it Lucifer. I betrayed you. I conspired to send you back to Hell."
Lucifer thought the pain he felt before was terrible. It had hurt so badly when he realized what Chloe had done, but hearing her actually say that she had hurt so much worse. Nothing had ever hurt so bad. He was able to keep some pain at bay before because he held a small amount of hope that it might not have happened. Now he couldn't.
Chloe could see his pain, and it made her guilt so much worse. She wanted to take his pain away, but she couldn't. In fact, she was going to make it worse. He needed to know everything. "I met Father William Kinley in Rome. He convinced me that you belonged back in Hell. He had me put a sedative in your wine. Then he performed an exorcism. It didn't work. It caused you pain, but it couldn't banish you. At some point during all of this, you must have realized what I'd done. You couldn't deal with it, so you turned yourself into a child. That was your father's belief anyway."
"Why?" Lucifer asked, desperation and pain laced in his voice.
"Because I was afraid. I'm sorry," Chloe cried.
Lucifer felt different emotions. Obviously it hurt him to hear that she feared him, just as he worried she would, but he was also angry. He was angry with her for saying she was afraid of him. "You were afraid. Well, do me a favor, Detective. Pinpoint for me the exact time that I made you fear me. Tell me what it is that I did to you that made you so afraid that you tried to send me to Hell!"
"It's not that simple. It wasn't then anyway. "I…I'd heard all the stories and I'd seen your face. I didn't want to believe that was who you were, but Father Kinley was very persuasive. He had evidence…"
"I don't care! He was just another bloody priest who thought he knew all because he'd read the bible! You knew me! You worked with me for years! We were friends. No, we were more! You told me I wasn't the Devil in your eyes!" Lucifer yelled.
"I didn't know…"
"But I knew better," Lucifer interrupted. "I was sure you'd see my face and be terrified. I was sure you'd try to get as far away from me as you could. But you didn't. You came back. You told me you accepted me. You lied to me!"
Chloe heard the absolute fury in his last sentence. Lucifer hated liars. There wasn't much worse in his eyes. She really should've known better when Kinley accused Lucifer of being the greatest liar. Lucifer didn't lie. She knew that, but she let Kinley convince her otherwise. "Yes."
"I…I loved you! You knew that. That's why you pretended to be interested in being with me! You say you were afraid of me, but you knew I was in love with you! How could you possibly think I'd hurt you?" Lucifer asked.
"I don't know what I knew, Lucifer. I knew you wanted me to think you were interested in me, but I didn't know if it was real or…"
"I don't lie!" Lucifer bellowed.
"I was concerned and scared. I'm sorry," Chloe said.
Lucifer laughed bitterly. "Yes, of course you are. You failed. You were confronted with little Samael, the boy who had not yet become the Devil. Then you had my father who promised his wrath. Yes, you were sorry then."
Chloe cringed. God had accused her of the same thing, and the sad fact was she couldn't say they were wrong. In fact, after spending a very long time thinking about it, she came to the conclusion that they were right. If Lucifer had been sent to Hell, there would've been residual guilt, but she would've convinced herself that she'd been right. "Yes."
Lucifer stared at her in devastation for several moments. "You never knew me at all, did you? Once you realized I was telling the truth about who I was, it was like I became someone else entirely. I wish I had never laid eyes on you!"
Chloe flinched. She couldn't help it. Those words hurt so badly. They were worse than the punishment God had inflicted on her, and even the guilt she felt. Lucifer's words cut so badly.
"You hurt me more than anyone ever has. I didn't hurt this badly when I was cast into Hell! I trusted you completely!"
"I'm sorry. At least this has given you your family back though. They're there for you now, right?" Chloe asked.
Lucifer looked at her as though she'd said the stupidest thing in the world. "You think you can make what you did a good thing?! You think saying something like that will make it right, maybe ease your guilt?!"
"No, that's not what I meant. I just meant that while you lost a lot, you got something back," Chloe said.
"Father, I'm done," Lucifer said as he looked up at the ceiling. He could not listen to another word. He'd done what he came to do. He didn't want to be in the same room with Chloe for another second.
"No, Lucifer, don't…"
Lucifer didn't hear anything else. The next thing he knew, he was in his father's quarters. The man was standing in front of him.
"Are you alright, son?" God asked.
"I'm leaving," Lucifer said. He didn't want to break down in front of his father. He wanted to get to the safety of his own rooms before he lost it.
God, however, had other plans. As his son went to pass him, he took him firmly by the arms. "Whoa. Not yet, son. You should not be alone right now."
"Let go!" Lucifer yelled as he tried and failed to push his father away.
"Lucifer, stop fighting me. I'm not letting you leave right now," God said firmly. He respected his son's free will, but right now, Lucifer was too upset to be left alone.
Lucifer continued to struggle, but it got him nowhere. Soon, he began to lose control of his emotions. "I didn't do anything to her! I didn't deserve it!"
God nodded. "That's right, son."
"It was her fault! She betrayed me! She lied to me! It's her fault! And it's your fault!"
"Yes," God agreed.
"It's your fault. I didn't deserve it!" Lucifer yelled and cried at the same time.
God knew his son didn't just mean what Chloe Decker did to him. "No, you didn't."
Lucifer started crying hard at that point and threw himself into his father's arms. "I didn't deserve it, Dad."
God ran a hand through his son's hair as he held him. "I know, child. I am so sorry. It's going to be alright."
