Chapter 25
Kindness of Strangers
Arthur took Gwen out on a picnic the week after she had returned from the Cauldron of Arianrhod. He hadn't been able to find time in their schedules before then, and they desperately needed some time together after the ordeal with Morgana's enchantment. They weren't alone, of course. Merlin followed them with all of the supplies needed. He set up their picnic and then wandered away from them, close enough should Arthur call for him, but far enough away to give them privacy.
While he was looking around, Merlin found a tree that had damaged bark. At first, it looked like where a deer had scraped its antlers, it was rutting season after all. But upon a second look, Merlin noticed burn marks amongst the scratches. Only one thing could have caused that. Magic.
At the base of the tree was a bronze medallion. Merlin didn't recognize the symbols carved on it, so he put it in his pocket to take it to Gaius later that day.
As soon as he got back, Merlin went to the physician's chambers to seek out Gaius's expertise.
"The workmanship is undeniable," Gaius said as he studied the medallion. "See how the pattern repeats itself? It's from Helva."
"Anything else? A name? A date?" Merlin asked, crouching down next to the physician.
Marian came up behind him and tried to look at the medallion over his shoulder. Merlin moved over, blocking her view. Whether or not it was on purpose, Marian didn't know. She huffed and walked around to Gaius's other side to see it.
"Not that I can see. It's a fine piece," Gaius said, turning it over in his hands. "No one would part with it willingly."
Merlin looked doubtful. The medallion looked as if it had been placed there on purpose. He stood and walked up to his room, grabbing his leather satchel and packing a few of his more magical belongings.
"Merlin, what are you up to?" Gaius asked suspiciously.
"I'm going back to where I found it," Merlin said.
"I doubt the owner will still be there," Gaius reasoned.
"Something terrible happened there, Gaius. Something only the strongest magic could do. I could feel it," Merlin said ominously, walking back down the stairs from his room.
"You're not suggesting that Morgana's within the Camelot's borders?"
"Who else could it be?"
"Don't go, Merlin," the physician tried to dissuade him from going. It was too dangerous if Morgana was involved.
"I'll be fine."
"Take someone with you, at least. If it is Morgana—"
"Then it won't make any difference who I take, will it?" Merlin interrupted as he turned to leave.
"I'll go with you," Marian offered. She hadn't seen much of Merlin lately anyway, so it would be good to catch up. Besides, she felt stir crazy and needed to get out of the citadel.
"No, I'll be quicker alone," Merlin said dismissively before walking out of the door.
Marian huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Merlin had never left her behind before. Usually, he was eager to take her on his adventures, no matter how small.
000
Merlin returned a few short hours later. He had gone back to the area where he had found the medallion and saw a broken carriage abandoned nearby. When he went over to investigate, he found papers ripped and scattered on the ground around the carriage. He brought the papers back to Camelot and to Gaius.
"You shouldn't have gone. It might have been a trap," Gaius said, piecing the papers together.
"Can you decipher it?" Merlin asked, ignoring his concern. He was sitting at one of the tables across the room, reading a book. Marian came over and sat across from him.
"It's in Catha, that's for sure," Gaius said as he pulled his glass over to read the fine print.
"What does it say?" Merlin asked as Marian leaned over to see what book he was reading. He snapped the book shut and placed it on the far side of the table. She glared at him. It was unlike Merlin to be so rude.
"It's been so long since I heard the language, never mind read it," Gaius replied, squinting. "There's part of a signature here." He looked up at Merlin and Marian, his mouth agape.
"What is it?" Merlin asked the physician as he stood and walked over to him, ignoring the hurt look on Marian's face.
"Alator," Gaius said in shock. It had been many years since they had heard from the Catha man. He had been hired years ago by Morgana to kidnap Gaius and torture him until the physician revealed who Emrys was. Upon learning everything he needed, Alator switched his allegiance to Merlin, refusing to give Morgana the information she sought. "That's why Morgana attacked Helva. Alator was the prize she was after," Gaius guessed.
"Why risk so much for one man?"
"There can only be one reason. To have him reveal who Emrys is."
Merlin shook his head. "Alator would never betray me."
"Not willingly, but Morgana will use every power she has to break him, and even Cathas cannot resist forever," Gaius said gravely.
000
The next morning, Merlin had been sent out to collect flowers for the queen. Arthur wanted to surprise her with breakfast in bed, so he had risen early and requested that Merlin go pick fresh wildflowers at the edge of the forest and then bring a tray of breakfast back up for Gwen.
While he was in the forest, Merlin ran into an older woman with a strange tattoo on her arm. She gave Merlin a warning and told him to meet her at the Old Temple of Erui that night and to come alone.
After he had brought a tray of breakfast to Gwen, Merlin went back to the physician's chambers to tell Gaius about the woman in the forest. He took pencil to paper and drew what he remembered of her tattoo. Handing the paper to Gaius, he chewed nervously on the end of the pencil.
"If it is what I think it is," Gaius said. "This is the mark of the Bendrui."
"Bendrui?" Marian asked from the worktable behind them. She had decided to fold newly acquired bandages and tidy the place up a bit.
"Before the time of the Great Purge, girls would be chosen at birth for the priesthood. They would be taken away from their families and brought up as initiates in the Old Religion," Gaius explained.
"I thought Morgana was the only High Priestess left," Merlin said, confused.
"Many tried, few succeeded. For ordinary gifts were not enough. Only those possessed with exceptional magical power could ever hope to be one of the Nine. But do not underestimate this woman's abilities. All Bendrui are practiced in potent magic."
"She said Arthur's enemies were closer than I thought. Now, who else could she mean but Mordred?" Merlin asked.
Marian's breath caught in her throat, and her heart dropped to her stomach. She knew that Mordred, newly knighted in Camelot, was a threat to Arthur just from her study of the legends, but she had hoped beyond hope that the legends were wrong. If Merlin was being warned of Mordred already, then it seemed that the end was getting closer than she had previously thought.
"If she meant Mordred, why not say so?" Gaius asked.
"We were interrupted."
"She's drawing you in, Merlin," Gaius warned the young warlock. "It's a trap. She knew your real name. There's only one explanation for that. Alator told Morgana who you really are, and she has sent this woman to lure you to her."
Merlin shook his head. "But I looked into her eyes. She meant no harm."
"You think a sorceress of her power couldn't feign any look she wished?" Gaius asked.
"I was there, Gaius. You were not," Merlin said, standing. He knew he was right.
"You mustn't go to her, Merlin," Gaius pleaded.
"She can help me protect Arthur. Do I have a choice?" he asked.
"Don't you understand? If something happened to you, we would all be lost."
"Gaius is right, Merlin. We can't be sure that Morgana didn't get what she wanted from Alator. Who knows who this Bendrui woman is," Marian put in, walking over to him.
"If she can truly help me protect Arthur from Mordred," he started, looking between the two of them, "and I refuse to go, would all not be lost then too?"
"Merlin… It was I who told Alator of your true identity," Gaius reminded him.
"You had no choice."
"But I cannot let that destroy you. If ever you held me in any regard, please, do not do this," Gaius pleaded once again.
"You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Gaius," Merlin said, seeming to have backed down.
Gaius took Merlin's hand in his own. "Thank you."
Merlin smiled at him and, ignoring Marian, left the room.
Gaius stood. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," he said to her.
Marian huffed as she sat heavily on the stool beside her. She didn't understand what was happening, but she was tired of being ignored. Ever since they had returned from the Dark Tower, all of the men in her life had either been ignoring or smothering her.
000
Late that night, Merlin snuck out of the castle and went to meet the Bendrui woman at the Old Temple of Erui. Little did he know, after he had spoken to Gaius about her, the physician went to warn the king that there was a sorceress within Camelot's borders, and Arthur sent Mordred to lead a patrol to capture her.
While Merlin was speaking with the Bendrui woman, Finna, she was called, they heard footsteps in the distance. Mordred and the patrol had found them. Merlin and Finna barely escaped the knights, their identities still unknown. Furious, Merlin returned to Camelot, determined to try again the next day.
He was repacking his satchel when he told Gaius what had happened. He hadn't been sure, but he had suspected that it was either Gaius or Marian who had warned Arthur.
"I told Arthur because I was worried about you, Merlin," Gaius said guiltily.
"She was working for Alator, not Morgana," Merlin bit out as he walked around the chambers, collecting supplies he might need. Marian handed him a small stack of bandages and a couple of tinctures. Merlin took them without saying a word and stuffed them in his satchel.
"How was I to know that?" Gaius asked him.
"Because I told you," he said shortly, heading to the door.
"I'm sorry, Merlin I thought it was for the best," Gaius tried to explain.
Agitated, Merlin turned to him. "Now, because of me, her life is in danger."
"No, not you, me. I acted like a foolish old man."
Merlin softened and faced Gaius. "No, never that," he said softly. "I have to go now. I must find out why she risked her life for me."
"Take care, Merlin," Gaius said, resigned, and watched as Merlin left the chambers. Marian ran past him, touching his shoulder as she passed him and followed Merlin out to the corridor.
"Merlin!" she called after him.
Merlin didn't stop but instead sped up slightly. Marian ran faster and finally catching up to him, grabbed his arm.
"Merlin!" she said, turning him around.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Oh, so now you're not ignoring me," she said shortly.
"Marian, I have to go. Her life is in danger."
"I know," she told him. "I'm volunteering to go with you. To help you."
"I don't need any help," he said, starting to turn back around and leave.
"Merlin!" she yelled. Softer, she continued, "I can help you. Let me. Please."
He shook his head. "No, you should stay in the citadel. It's too dangerous."
He wasn't about to let her put her life in danger again. Merlin wasn't going to be responsible for her death ever again. Before she could protest, he turned and quickly headed to the stables, never seeing Marian following closely behind him.
000
Merlin stopped at the Old Temple of Erui and dismounted. He searched for any sign of Finna but found none. He walked away from his horse to look around the area for clues. As he was looking at a strange burn mark on one of the surrounding trees, the hair on the back of his neck stood. It felt like he was being watched.
Merlin shook his head and instead concentrated on the mark. It had to be a sign from Finna. His eyes glowed, and he saw in his mind's eye the direction the Bendrui woman had gone. Merlin followed the vision until he happened upon another tree with a similar mark. Once again, his eyes glowed, and he was shown the way.
As he neared the next marker, he heard a small snap of a twig. Merlin slowly reached for his sword and turned quickly, only to be face-to-face with Marian.
"I told you to stay in Camelot!" he yelled.
"I thought you could use the help," Marian said, not backing down.
"This isn't a game, Marian," Merlin gritted between clenched teeth.
"I know that! I—"
She didn't get to finish. Merlin heard the sound of hoofbeats and pulled her over behind a large fallen tree. They stayed quiet until after they heard the horses pass. It was one of the patrols from Camelot.
Merlin stood and glared at Marian. "You need to go back to Camelot!" he hissed at her.
He walked forward, intending to send her on her way when he felt a sword at his shoulder. Merlin turned slowly, ready to face their captors, and saw that it was Percival.
The large knight looked at them both expectantly, eyebrows raised. When they said nothing, he nodded his head behind him, urging them to follow him.
When they caught up to the other knights, Merlin lied and said that they had been looking for herbs.
"Herbs?" Leon asked in disbelief. "You were looking for herbs?"
"Gaius is very particular," Merlin shrugged. "They have to be fresh, or their powers diminish."
"It's not the time or place to be gathering herbs," Percival said, passing them.
"You were grateful enough for them when Gaius cured your palsy," Merlin sassed.
Percival turned red. "It wasn't palsy," he said quietly.
"I was being polite," Merlin laughed, causing the others to chuckle at Percival's expense.
"There's a dangerous sorceress at large, Merlin, plus a bunch of Saxons. This is not the place to be alone," Leon admonished.
"He wasn't alone," Marian said confidently.
She looked between the knights. They all looked disappointed, except for Gwaine. When she met his eyes, his look of disappointment turned to fury. She was taken aback at the fierceness of his anger towards her.
"I'll be fine," Merlin said. He needed to find a way to leave Marian with the knights and continue on his own. "I'll just pack the rest of my herbs and be on my way."
Marian looked at him sharply. She wasn't about to be left out here on her own with the knights. She intended to help Merlin find the Bendrui woman.
"No," Leon shook his head.
"I'll head back," Merlin conceded, though he had no intention of going back to Camelot.
"We can't allow that either," Mordred said, stepping up to him. He felt responsible for the sorceress still being at large. He wasn't going to let his friends walk into danger.
"You're both staying with us until the sorceress is apprehended," Gwaine finally spoke up.
"For your own protection," Elyan added.
Marian opened her mouth to protest, but Merlin spoke first.
"Well, thank you," he said sarcastically. If any of the knights noticed his tone, they didn't show it.
"Now that that's settled, we need to keep going," Leon ordered.
Percival, being the superior tracker, led the knights through the forest. Several times Marian had tripped over a branch or gotten her dress caught on brambles. She hadn't had time to change into something more appropriate before following Merlin, so she was more clumsy than usual.
"We've lost her," Percival said hours later. He had bent down to examine the ground, finding no more tracks.
"Do we split up?" Gwaine asked. "Some of us track back?"
"It's nearly dark," Leon replied. "We'll be sitting targets for the Saxons. We'll start again at first light."
As they made camp for the night, Merlin volunteered to fix their supper, trying to get on the knights' good side. He planned to make his escape that night after everyone else was asleep. He felt guilty for leaving Marian behind, but he was terrified Morgana would find her. He knew she'd be safest in the company of the knights.
The knights, still miffed at the healers, sat around the fire, eating their supper. Mordred, being the youngest and less experienced of them, was also less angry than the others. He knew Marian, and especially Merlin could take care of themselves. If anything, he believed that it was the knights who were safer with Merlin around. Having been raised as a druid, only he, and he suspected Marian, knew of Merlin's magic.
Mordred stood and took a bowl of Merlin's stew over to Marian. She was propped up against a tree far from the others. She couldn't take the furious looks Gwaine was sending her way, so she had isolated herself from the rest.
"I thought you might be hungry," Mordred said with a small smile.
Marian looked up at him and smiled softly, taking the bowl. "Thanks."
He crouched down next to her and spoke so that no one else could hear. "I won't pretend to know what has happened between you and Gwaine, but I do know that he's only worried about your safety," he told her.
"I know," Marian said, looking down at her bowl. "Thank you, Mordred. You've been very kind."
He nodded to her and then stood to go back to his seat by the fire. Marian watched him go thoughtfully. Perhaps everything she knew was wrong. Or maybe she was meant to change it. All she knew was that the Mordred she knew was sweet and kind. She couldn't begin to guess at what happened to him to turn him against the king.
000
Marian awoke with a start. She had been dreaming of the faceless men again. She wasn't sure what the dreams meant, but they were enough to leave her tired and on edge. She sat up and realized that she was the last to wake. Having eaten, the knights were gathering their things and preparing to head out.
"Why didn't anyone wake me?" she asked.
They all looked at one another uncomfortably. Searching for the sorceress was difficult enough, but doing so while trying to keep the healer from danger was proving too much. She was clumsy and, at times, too loud. None of them wanted her to be there; instead, they all thought she would have been safer back in Camelot.
When she didn't receive an answer, Marian looked around for Merlin. "Where's Merlin?" she asked when she didn't see him.
"He left," Mordred told her. "I… escorted him back to the bridge earlier."
Marian huffed in dismay. Why hadn't Merlin taken her with him? The knights may believe that Merlin was going back to Camelot, but Marian knew better. He was going to find the Bendrui woman.
"You should have taken Marian with you, Mordred," Gwaine admonished. "She shouldn't be out here."
"Why is everyone trying to be rid of me? Haven't I proven myself time and time again?" she asked them as she stood. She could no longer take the heartbreak. Merlin and the knights were angry with her, and she had been left behind.
"Perhaps, Marian, you should stay where you belong, in the citadel. You're no good out here, and we don't need you tagging along," Gwaine fumed.
He was angry at her for putting herself in danger. And for what? Looking for herbs? It was nothing that couldn't wait. They had argued so many times about her recklessness over the last few weeks. He couldn't take much more. Gwaine turned from her and started toward his horse.
Marian didn't know why she did it. Perhaps the lack of sleep was finally taking its toll. Or maybe it was because the words and actions of her friends hurt more than she cared to admit. But at Gwaine's callous words, she took her boot from the ground in front of her and threw it at the back of his head, hitting her mark. Gwaine stopped in his tracks and turned slowly, seething at the healer.
He marched toward her, bending down to retrieve the offending boot. He was livid. When he reached her, he towered over her, anger etched on his face. He roughly shoved the boot into her hands, pushing her back.
"Woman…" he growled.
Marian defiantly rose up to her full height and stared the knight down. "What's the matter, Gwaine? Can't handle a woman standing up for herself?"
Gwaine seethed as he stared back, his chest heaving. It was taking a great effort to control his temper. Why couldn't she see that she was being reckless and putting them all in danger?
"Enough!" Leon yelled at them. "We must continue our search. Elyan, you take Marian."
Gwaine pushed past her and went to retrieve his horse. Marian sat on the ground and put her boots on, glad that she wouldn't have to endure Gwaine's company while they rode.
000
They had stopped to water the horses. Marian slid down from Elyan's horse easily enough but tripped on her skirt as she went toward the stream.
"Careful," Percival said as he caught her by her arm.
"Thanks, Percival," she said to the large man. "And thank you for actually talking to me."
Marian looked around at the other knights sadly. None of them, not even Elyan while she was riding behind him, would so much as speak to her. It was as Gwaine had said, she wasn't needed. They didn't need her, nor did they want her. Her heart stung at that realization.
Percival leaned down close to her ear and spoke softly. "You should not be here, Marian. It's dangerous."
She looked up at him, confusion on her face. "I've accompanied you on dangerous missions before. Why is this any different?"
"You were nearly killed the last time," Gwaine spoke up as he approached from her other side.
Though his words were soft, his face was not. He wouldn't even look at her. It seemed that the quiet ride had done nothing to temper his anger.
"So, you all have decided that I'm too fragile to be useful? Is that it?" she asked.
Marian fixed Elyan with a stern stare. Only he knew the truth about the Dark Tower. Only he knew that Marian's injuries hadn't been from fighting, but from saving his life with magic.
"You're not useless. But you are safer in the citadel. These are dark times," Elyan put in.
"I'm not some weak damsel!" she countered.
She glared at Gwaine. She was sure that he was the one who was overprotective of her. It had to be Gwaine that convinced the others that she couldn't be counted on. "I'm not a maiden in a tower that needs to be saved, you know!"
"You're a distraction!" Gwaine yelled as he turned to her. "When I should be looking for this sorceress, I'm only watching out for you, worried about you, trying to keep you out of trouble! I can't concentrate when you're near me, Marian! What if something happened to you? What if you were hurt or worse? I can't watch you die again!"
There it was. The truth. Marian backed away slowly. She had never seen Gwaine this angry or this passionate before. Though he had made his disdain for her obvious, he still acted like he cared for her safety. Earlier that week, he had said that they weren't friends anymore, so it was obvious to her that his concern was only out of duty, not affection.
"We can't protect you and do our duties," Leon told her, trying to diffuse the situation. "It would have been better had you never come."
Elyan stepped up beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You should stick to being a healer, Marian. You aren't a knight or a fighter. You should have gone back with Merlin."
"I see," she said dejectedly. "I guess it would've been better if I'd never come to Camelot? Or even existed? I should go back to where I came from, no matter how far away and unreachable it is? Is that what you all want? For me to go away?"
Gwaine gave her a sharp look when she said it. She had once said she was afraid to go back home, and now she was asking if he wanted her to go back.
"No one is saying that, Marian. We're just concerned for you," Percival told her softly.
She didn't know what she would do once they returned to Camelot. What Elyan and the rest didn't know was that Merlin had made it all too clear that he felt the same way they did. It seemed that not only were Merlin and Gaius better off without her, but the knights were as well. Marian clenched her jaw to stave off her tears. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
She turned back to Gwaine. "Tell me, Gwaine, would you still feel this way, would you still want me to disappear if you didn't hate me so much?" she asked, her voice breaking.
Gwaine looked at her in shock. He hadn't realized that she thought he hated her. Nothing could be further from the truth. "Marian, I don't—"
The sound of dogs barking in the distance interrupted him. Percival grabbed Marian before Gwaine even had the chance to finish and pulled her to safety. He thought it best to remove her from any danger himself, rather than letting Gwaine get worked up again. He pushed her back against a tree, hiding her.
"Stay here," he ordered her. She nodded in return.
Marian listened as the knights fought, hearing the now-familiar clink of sword hitting sword. The battle seemed to be drawing nearer to her hiding spot and realizing that she was vulnerable and weaponless, Marian quickly darted forward in search of cover that wasn't so close to danger. Each time she thought she had found a new hiding place, she heard dogs and footsteps approach.
Suddenly a hand wrapped around her waist, and another covered her mouth. Marian bit down hard on the fingers until she was released. She heard a muffled cry of pain as she tried to escape. The hands grabbed her harder, covering her mouth to muffle her scream, and pulled her against a hard body.
"Dammit, woman, it's me!" a harsh voice hissed in her ear.
Marian turned her head slightly, and her eyes widened as she saw that it was Gwaine that held her.
He let go of her and gestured toward a fallen tree. She nodded as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the other side, hiding. They waited as the footfalls passed by. He stretched up to look over the log when suddenly two large Saxon men appeared in front of them.
Gwaine laughed bitterly. "That's just cheating."
Marian tried to get up, but he pushed her back down as he drew his sword and stood to fight the men off.
He quickly killed one of the Saxons, dropping him to the ground with little effort. The other man, however, was nearly three times his size. Gwaine fought him as best he could, moving the battle further away from the log and from Marian.
She rushed over to the dead Saxon and picked up his sword. Having been adamant in her beliefs on violence, she had never killed anyone in her life; instead, she'd rather injure her foe. Aim to maim she had called it. The others had thought her curious but just chalked it up to one of her many quirks. Marian knew that her heart couldn't handle taking another's life. But now it seemed she wouldn't have the luxury of that innocence, it was either kill the Saxon or watch Gwaine die.
The large Saxon knocked Gwaine to the ground, his sword flying out of his hand. As the man towered over him, Gwaine prepared himself for the blow that he was sure was coming. The Saxon raised his sword over his head, ready to stab down into Gwaine's chest when a blade cut through the man's torso from behind. As it disappeared back through him, the Saxon's eyes widened in realization. He dropped his sword and fell to his knees. Gwaine swiftly rolled to the side as the large man fell forward to the ground, dead.
Gwaine looked up in shock and saw Marian standing there, bloody sword in hand. Her eyes were as big as saucers, and blood was splattered across her face and chest, spotting the top of her dress. Her chest heaved as she tried to draw breath. The rest of the Saxons were quickly vanquished, and Gwaine stood, slowly approaching the catatonic woman.
She dropped her sword and stared at the dead man at her feet.
"I…," she started. "I killed—" she couldn't finish what she was saying as bile rapidly rose up her throat.
Marian clamped her mouth shut and ran off to a tree a few paces away, where she emptied the contents of her stomach. When she finished retching, Gwaine pulled her away from the body and back upstream to the horses.
He reached into his saddlebag and produced a clean cloth and his water bladder. He tried handing her the water to drink, but she just stood there, staring at nothing. He dabbed the cloth with water and began cleaning her face and neck. Gwaine's heart broke for her as he wiped the Saxon's blood from her skin. Killing for the first time was never easy, and he knew the toll it would take on her innocent heart.
When he had finished, Gwaine held her face in his hands, trying to get her to speak, move, do anything other than stare. He noticed how cold her skin was as she began to shiver, her teeth clattering loudly.
"She's going into shock," he said as he jumped into action.
Gwaine pulled his cloak from his horse and wrapped it around her, rubbing her arms with his hands, attempting to warm her skin.
"Come on, sweetheart, say something," he implored softly.
"Gwaine, she needs to go back," Elyan said as he came up beside them. "She needs to see Gaius."
"Right," Leon said as he and Percival walked back to their horses. "We must continue our search. Mordred, you're to escort Marian back to Camelot. Gwaine, you're with Percival. Elyan, you're with me."
Mordred watched Marian cautiously as Gwaine led her over to him. He knew how she and Gwaine felt about one another; it was pretty apparent to any who were around them. But for the past several weeks, they had been at each other's throats. Marian had never really warmed up to the young druid, and he definitely didn't want to risk her ire by getting in the middle of their fight.
He climbed into his saddle and helped Gwaine lift Marian up in front of him. She sat wrapped in Gwaine's cloak, staring ahead at nothing, while Mordred reached around her and grabbed the reins.
"Tell Gaius what happened, will you? I don't think she's going to snap out of it any time soon," Gwaine said to him. He gave Marian one last forlorn look. "Take care of her, Mordred. Please."
"I will see that's she's safe, Gwaine. I promise," Mordred gave the older knight a small smile.
Gwaine nodded once at Mordred and slapped the horse on the rear to send it off.
000
When they reached the citadel, Mordred helped Marian from the horse. She hadn't said a word the whole way back, worrying him. He handed his horse off to the nearest stable lad and led Marian up the palace steps and to the physician's chamber.
Gaius rushed over to them when they came in the door. Marian was pale and wrapped in a knight's cloak. He felt her brow; her skin was cold and clammy.
"What happened?" Gaius asked them.
When Marian didn't answer, Mordred spoke up. "We were attacked by Saxons. I'm not sure exactly, but I believe she killed one of the men."
"Oh, dear," Gaius lamented. "Thank you, Mordred. I will look after her."
Mordred nodded and turned to leave. "Oh," he said, remembering about the cloak. "That's Gwaine's cloak…"
"I'll make sure he gets it back," Gaius assured him.
The physician led Marian over to a bench and coaxed her to sit down. He fetched a cup of water and, after adding a tincture, handed it to her.
"Drink up, this will help," he said to her.
000
That afternoon, Merlin returned from meeting with Finna, the Bendrui woman. Marian walked into the physician's chamber, having changed from her soiled dress, and sat silently as Merlin told Gaius what had happened.
They sat across the table from each other, a small ornate box between them. Finna had given it to him before sacrificing her life so that he could escape. Gaius opened the box to reveal a small sealed letter, breaking the wax seal, he opened the parchment. Marian listened as they spoke.
"What does it say?" Merlin asked impatiently.
"Just a moment," Gaius whispered as he was reading. The writing was Catha and had to be translated.
"Let loose the hounds of war," Gaius began, reading from the parchment. "Let the dread fire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies. For brother will slaughter brother, for friend will murder friend, as the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann."
Marian held her breath as she listened, her entire body covered in goosebumps. Camlann is where the legends said Mordred killed Arthur.
Gaius continued, "The prophets do not lie. There Arthur will meet his end, upon that mighty plain where the Wanderer will walk and heal the slain."
Gaius's eyebrows rose as he glanced over at Marian. It seemed that her part in all of this had been foretold long ago. She was meant to be there. Gaius guessed that they needed to let fate take its course.
Merlin sighed and closed his eyes. It was too much. Arthur would meet his end soon, and Merlin had the chance to stop it. And the part about the wanderer obviously meant Marian. It was Merlin's destiny to protect Arthur, so how did she fit in all of it? Would he need to protect her as well? Hadn't he already been doing that?
"So many have suffered so that I may hear this," Merlin bemoaned. Death had followed him his whole life, leading to this moment.
"Yes," Gaius agreed. "I think I know what's going through your mind, Merlin. That your destiny is too much for one man to bear."
Merlin smiled bitterly. "Yes," he agreed. "You always did know me best, Gaius."
Marian bristled at that. It seemed to her that Merlin had already forgotten about her. She had thought they were kindred, but she guessed she'd been wrong. She sniffed quietly, wondering what she had done to make everyone hate her.
"Be assured of one thing. There was never anyone more capable than you, Merlin. You will not fail," Gaius assured the young warlock.
Suddenly, the alarm bells rang out. Merlin jumped up to look out of the window to see what had happened. He ran out of the chamber when he saw the patrol of knights return with a body.
He came back quickly. "It's Sir Caradoc. He was found dead," Merlin told Gaius as he rushed back out with the stretcher.
000
The knights carried Sir Caradoc up to the physician's chambers, his body and face covered by a blanket. Gaius bade them to set the stretcher on the table. The hair on the back of Marian's neck stood, a forewarning of evil, she was sure.
"We got here as fast as we could," Gwaine informed the physician.
"You did well," Gaius replied. "Where did this happen?" he asked as he removed the blanket from the dead man's face.
"We found him just inside the border," Percival answered.
Marian tried to get close enough to look, but Gwaine and Leon stood to where she couldn't see the body, unknowingly pushing her back. It appeared that even in her own workspace, she wasn't wanted.
Gaius turned to Merlin. "Fetch me my glass, please."
Merlin pushed past Marian, ignoring her annoyed looks. His face was grave. She stood on her tiptoes and looked at the dead man over Gwaine's shoulder. Nothing could prepare her for what she saw. The knight's face was completely covered in skin. In fact, it looked like he had no face at all. Faceless. Marian's breath caught in her throat, and her heart pounded heavily. She paled as the blood drained from her face.
"Do you know what it is?" Percival asked.
Gaius looked around the room. His eyes met Merlin's, and they shared a frightened look.
"I fear so," he answered. "The skin has grown across his face until he suffocated."
Arthur entered the chambers as Gaius explained the curse that had inflicted Sir Caradoc. It was the ragaid, a warning from the High Priestess to her enemies, a warning to Camelot that Morgana had declared war.
Marian began to back away from the body. No one took notice of her as she stumbled. It was just as the dreams that haunted her had predicted. The end was coming. The war had begun. Those she loved would surely die. She didn't hear anything else spoken through the rush of blood pounding in her ears. She was shaking like a delicate leaf as she continued to slowly back away from the body.
When she reached her hand out to the side to steady herself, she knocked several glass jars to the floor. The men in the room all turned, looking at her as if they'd just noticed that she was there.
"Marian?" Gaius asked, concerned as he took in her appearance.
The gray color of her face made the dark circles under her eyes more noticeable. The physician thought that she had a ghostly look about her. Marian didn't hear Gaius, nor did she stop. She backed all the way into the fireplace, her skirts catching fire.
"Marian!" Gaius yelled as the bottom of her dress was engulfed in flames.
Alarmed, Gwaine moved quickly to her and pulled her away from the fire. He bent over and snuffed out the flames on her skirts. Enough of the material had burned away to reveal her calf, but her skin was only red with minor burns.
"What were you thinking?" Gwaine yelled at her as he stood and held her at arm's length.
It wasn't anger that had colored his voice, but concern… and fear. He stooped down slightly to try to catch her eye. Instead, Marian looked right through him, toward the body of Sir Caradoc. She had seen death and magic before, so he didn't understand what had alarmed her.
"Sweetheart?" he asked gently, brushing the hair from her face. When she didn't answer, he tried again. "Marian, love, what's frightened you?"
Marian reached up and grabbed his hands. Holding onto him tightly, she looked at him with wide eyes. She was more terrified than he had ever seen.
"I… I can't breathe. Gwaine, I can't breathe!" she managed to yell in a panic before her eyes rolled back, and she lost consciousness.
The knight caught her before she fell back into the fire.
000
Gwaine had stayed behind when the others left to prepare Sir Caradoc's body for burial. He watched the blonde healer as she lay sleeping on Gaius's cot. Her leg hadn't been badly burned, but Gaius was cautious. The physician had retrieved her jar of king's wart from her chamber and applied it liberally to the red skin of her leg. Gwaine felt a pang in his heart as he recognized the jar he had given Marian so many years ago.
He couldn't do this anymore. Being near Marian was difficult as he couldn't help but be drawn to her, like a moth to a flame. His love for her threatened to burn him to his core. Every second he pined for her felt as if he were dying. He needed to get away, then perhaps his broken heart would mend. Gwaine decided to go see Arthur later and request that he be put on garrison duty in the outlying lands of Camelot.
"Why would Marian have been so careless, Gaius? That's not like her," Merlin's question broke the silence.
"She's been having nightmares again. Marian has not been the same since her return from the Dark Tower," Gaius answered. "I'm surprised at you both. As the people closest to her, I would've thought you'd have noticed," he said to them.
Merlin looked at Gwaine and Gaius guiltily. "Well, I… haven't exactly been… there," he said lamely.
The young warlock didn't know how to explain it. He had tried to push Marian away to protect her, but it had somehow backfired. It seemed that she was in worse shape now than ever.
"Neither have I," Gwaine admitted. "I've stayed away."
"I see," Gaius said as he looked at them sternly. He had suspected as much, but he was disappointed that neither man had been there for their friend when she needed them most. He sighed and continued. "She's been dreaming of faceless men. I don't know why or what her dreams mean, but seeing Sir Caradoc with the same affliction must have seemed as if her nightmares were coming true."
"Morgana," Gwaine said abruptly. When Gaius and Merlin looked at him curiously, he continued. "It's the only thing that makes sense. She gave Leon and Percival that dream back at the Dark Tower. She must have enchanted Marian as well."
Merlin and Gaius shared a concerned look, both knowing that Marian often had prophetic dreams. They knew Morgana had sent a warning when she murdered Sir Caradoc, but they would have to wait until Marian awoke to understand how that warning would play out.
Unable to bear it any longer, Gwaine turned to leave. "I must see the king. When she wakes, tell her I wish to speak with her," Gwaine said somberly. Without waiting for an answer, he left.
000
Marian awoke slowly. She groaned as she opened her eyes. Only when Gaius's kind face swam into her view, did she finally speak. Her eyes widened in fright.
"Oh God, he's going to kill Arthur!" she cried out.
"Calm yourself, child. It was merely a dream. You are safe. Arthur is safe," Gaius spoke softly as he sat in a chair next to the cot.
Marian grabbed the physician's sleeve. "No, Gaius, Arthur will be mortally wounded at Camlann. This is it, the beginning of the end! And Arthur won't be the only one, I fear. Gwaine is… his life…" she choked on her next words. "Gwaine's going to die, and there's nothing I can do to stop it!" There had been so much death and suffering in her nightmare.
Gaius looked at the frightened woman with pity. Though he feared she was right, he tried to calm her. "Marian, your dreams are not always true, remember? It is possible that these are just your fears and that none of this will come to pass," he said.
"No, Gaius, it was a warning! I have to stop it from happening!" she cried out, sitting up.
"You're just tired from your ordeal," he said. He reached over and handed her a small vial. "Drink this, it will help you calm."
Marian tipped the vial to her mouth and drank its contents, feeling calmer almost immediately.
"Gwaine explained what happened earlier with the Saxon. It was courageous of you to save his life, you know," Gaius continued, attempting to get her mind off of her nightmares.
"Maybe," she started. "But to them, and to Merlin, I'm just some weak female who'd be better off staying at home."
"Now, that's not true," Gaius admonished.
"Then why are they pushing me away? There was a time where I could be with them, side-by-side. Like an equal," Marian said bitterly.
"I think you nearly dying scared them, especially Gwaine and Merlin. Marian, you do not realize the impact that your death would have on any of us. We all care for you, dear girl," Gaius said affectionately.
"It's the beginning of the end, Gaius," she said, her voice quiet and somber. "None of us can afford such consideration. I can't be sheltered from the evils of the world. I'm here to help Camelot and Merlin."
000
Later that evening, Marian left the castle for some fresh air. She had felt suffocated by its stone walls. Desperate for quiet, she found herself in the grassy courtyard above the castle entrance. She leaned across the battlements and watched the people in the city below.
She felt Gwaine approach her and lean against the stone next to her. The two watched the city below in silence. He tried to gather his thoughts and his courage to talk to her. What he had to say wouldn't be easy… for either of them.
"How's your leg?" Gwaine asked, interrupting her solace.
"Better, thank you," she answered. "What do you want, Gwaine?" she asked bluntly.
Best to get it over with, he thought. "I'm leaving in a few days. I'm going to join the garrison up north at Fort Stowell," he answered honestly.
A fleeting look of despair crossed Marian's face but was quickly replaced with indifference.
"How long?"
"I don't know. A while, I suppose," he said, still watching the city.
"Is this because of me?" she asked, finally turning to look at him.
He turned toward her and studied her face. What effort she was putting in looking unbothered by his news was a waste. Gwaine could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her. He almost always could. She was heartbroken and scared. Unable to bear it, he looked away from her, unwilling to answer.
His silence told her everything, though. Gwaine was leaving the safety of Camelot to get away from her. The guilt in her heart was overwhelming. Tears fell in a woeful dirge, quietly mourning the loss of everything she had loved… the loss of his affection. "Gwaine, please don't go," she implored.
He reached for her but pulled his hand back. He must do this, he must keep his resolve. He turned back to watch the city below.
"I'll go," she said finally. Gwaine looked at her in shock. "I'll go far away from here if you just please stay, Gwaine. Please."
"Why?" he asked. He didn't understand why it was so important that he stay in the city.
"I… I fear for your life. In Camelot, you're safe. Out there, Saxons or Morgana or…" she sniffed, unable to finish.
Her dreams of late had been so confusing. So much death and destruction. She knew Arthur was in danger from the legends she had studied, but her dreams showed her that Gwaine was in danger as well. She didn't know how much of it was true and how much was just her mind trying to deal with the devastation of losing his friendship and his love, but she couldn't risk his life. Selfish caution made her beg him to stay. "I know you hate me now, but please, you must stay in Camelot, Gwaine! I can't lose you!" she begged.
But she already had. His mind was made up.
He closed his eyes, the pain of it all getting to him. "I don't hate you, Marian. I never have. But I cannot stay, and you cannot go, love. That's just the way it has to be."
"I wish…" she sobbed. "I wish things had never changed between us. I miss you, Gwaine."
Opening his eyes to look at her, he moved in close to her and cupped her cheek. "I miss you as well, beautiful. But I can't stay here, pining for you. It hurts too much," he told her as he wiped away her tears.
"I'm so sorry… for everything. You deserve—" she sniffed and looked down at her feet. She couldn't bear for him to see her anguish. "You deserve to be happy, Gwaine. You're a good man."
He pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted her head to look at him. Gwaine smiled softly as he leaned in and brushed his lips lightly against hers. He took her face in both of his hands and kissed her thoroughly, his lips moving over hers slowly. Marian reached up and placed her hands on his chest, holding onto his tunic. Gwaine deepened their kiss as she returned his affection. Her heart was near bursting with love while his was breaking in two.
Gwaine slowly broke the kiss and backed away slightly. Marian's eyes remained closed. She feared that if she opened them, she would see his resolve to leave. He pulled her hands from his chest and brought her palms to his mouth, kissing each lightly. When he dropped her hands, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her brow.
"I love you, beautiful. Take care of yourself," he whispered.
When Marian finally dared to open her eyes, he was gone. I love you.
000
Merlin had looked for Marian everywhere. He needed to make amends for the way he had been ignoring her. He had searched in the gardens and all around the castle. When Gwaine stopped by to tell him that he was leaving, Merlin had asked if he had seen Marian anywhere. Gwaine told him that the last time he had seen her, she was in the grassy courtyard, but that had been hours ago. Merlin thanked the knight and headed out to the courtyard.
When he stepped into the crisp evening air, the first thing he saw was Marian sitting on the ground. She was in the corner of the wall and the battlements, sitting with her knees up under her chin. She looked so small and broken. Merlin sighed in regret as he walked toward her. She didn't look up as he sat down beside her.
"I almost couldn't find you," he said conversationally.
"Mmph," Marian grunted. She didn't feel like talking, especially to the warlock.
"Gwaine said you were up here earlier," he tried again.
Marian's brow knitted for a fraction of a second.
"Mmph," she grunted again.
Merlin looked up to the sky. He was getting nowhere. "Marian—" he started.
"Why are you pushing me away, Merlin?" she asked suddenly.
"I'm sorry," he said to her. "I shouldn't have."
"No, you shouldn't have," she agreed.
"I guess I thought I was protecting you. It was stupid of me," he explained.
"Yes, it was," she said. She had no problem being blunt with him.
"Can you forgive me?" he asked. When she looked up at him, he smiled brightly.
Marian never could resist those dimples. "Of course, you cabbage-head," she laughed. "Just don't ever do that again."
Merlin looked at her and smiled. "I promise to never protect you again," he said. He laughed with her and playfully shoved her shoulder. "Come here," he said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her.
"I guess we both have pretty big destinies, huh?" she said to him, laying her head on his shoulder.
"We do," he agreed.
"I think it would be better for us both if we helped each other shoulder the burden. Don't you?" she asked, lifting her head to look up at him.
Merlin smiled. "I'd like that," he said as she laid her head back on his shoulder. "Now," he began, "are you going to tell me what happened with Gwaine?"
