Chapter 26

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Darcy stared down at Elizabeth's hand clutching his, all his carefully planned apologizes and speeches scattering before the realization that she was holding his hand and asking his forgiveness.

He heard her first few sentences and then was too stunned to hear more. She was apologizing? To him? But he had treated her unfairly, lost his temper and then ran away like a foolish child!

"And you were correct that I should not have trusted-"

Elizabeth's words were suddenly broken off when Darcy turned his hand in hers, caught her wrist and pulled her close. He held her tightly and whispered, "Before you say another word- please tell me that you forgive me."

Elizabeth pulled away and stumbled back a step. "You- then you forgive me? I hadn't-"

"I was an absolute idiot. And as for your behavior, your trust was ill-founded and formed on mistaken premises but you were right that the cause of your continued misunderstanding was my own behavior and my prideful belief that you should trust me without basis."

"Is this truly what you think? But you left- you left and I thought that- that you would not return."

"I was angry and my pride was wounded. At first, I just wanted some distance to think and calm down. Then I was embarrassed. I had thought I had made such strides in defeating my abominable pride. But I had only fixed my manners not my arrogance. And then I worried… I was trying my best to woo you and instead I only made mistakes, over and over again. How could you ever learn to love me?"

"I do love you! You should not speak so! Come, we ought not quarrel for the greater share of blame. The conduct of neither of us if strictly examined, would be irreproachable!"

Darcy looked around quickly. There was no one on the road but it was too open. There was a little path nearby that led into the woods and without a second thought he pulled her into the grove of trees. As soon as they were sheltered Darcy could not help pulling her close again and kissing her. The moment their lips touched, he was lost. He had missed her so much and her lips were so soft.

He held her and kissed her, relearning the taste of her lips and the feeling of holding her slight body in his arms. After a long moment, he rested his forehead against hers. "Does this mean you will marry me?"

Elizabeth stiffened in his arms, but before he could worry, she whispered, "Truly? You still wish to marry?"

"Please, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth, be my wife."

Her lips answered without words when she kissed him. Darcy returned the kiss without restraint. He deepened Elizabeth's innocent kiss and stepped even closer to her. Another step and he could feel her entire body pressed against his. He took a shuddering breath and licked the seam of her lips. Then he created a trail of kisses along her jaw towards her ear.

"Elizabeth, let's not wait long to be married."

She shook her head, her expression a little dazed as he was sure his own was. She put her arms around his neck and he could feel her fingers stroking into his hair. The feeling was more erotic then he could have imagined and lost himself in kissing her.

Several minutes later Darcy realized that his hands were much lower on her back then they ought to be, especially considering they were barely hidden off a public road. Regretfully, he pulled back a little. "Your parents will worry..."

Elizabeth did not answer, staring up at him blankly.

"I should take you home," Darcy forced himself to say, barely able to tear his eyes from her kiss-swollen lips.

Elizabeth looked around and suddenly blushed bright pink. "Oh, yes. Yes, indeed, I must get home. There is much to be done before Jane's wedding."

Somewhat sheepishly, Darcy picked up her bonnet, which had somehow ended up on the forest floor, and settled it carefully back on her head. Then he had to smile, for there was a twig sticking straight out of it. He removed it and kissed the tip of her nose. "Come, I will walk you home and greet your family."

Elizabeth nodded, still looking embarrassed, but took his arm and walked close to him as they left the forest. Thankfully there still wasn't anyone on the road and after looking around they shared a sheepish smile.

Darcy took her hand from his arm and intertwined his fingers with hers. They walked for a few minutes in silence with Darcy too overwhelmed to speak easily.

He had come back to Meryton for the wedding and to do what he should have long ago about Wickham but with no firm idea of what to do about his courtship with Elizabeth. That he still loved her had never been in question, but while he had come to understand his portion of guilt in the argument he had been conflicted over how to resolve it.

He had been so angry with her. He felt that he had truly tried his best and changed so much for her, and she couldn't trust him even a little bit. It had taken several long nights of drinking, pacing and thinking to come to the realization that it had been his pride and personal history with Wickham that made him feel that way. And perhaps simply that Elizabeth always caused such strong reactions within him. That he loved her so much made any small hurt feel overwhelming. But the fact remained that he had spent the last month making himself vulnerable and openingly loving her with little reciprocation and, despite still loving her, he had balked at coming back and throwing himself at her feet to apologize for his behavior. He had known he should and also that it was his pride stopping him but could not overcome the feeling. It wasn't entirely pride either, for after wrestling with himself for hours, he had realized that it was simply that he was frustrated being the only one of them invested in their relationship.

So when she had looked for him first, apologized and so earnestly told him that she loved him, that she had kissed him back with such abandon, had healed all his hurt in an instant. He had succeeded, she loved him back and had agreed to marry him!

He walked on, too caught up in his thoughts and her presence beside him to pay attention to which direction. But he eventually did realize that Elizabeth had turned them off the road they had been on, which would have taken them into Meryton, and were instead now skirting the village. It was a less direct way to Longbourn but also less public and he certainly did not mind taking the longer route.

Still, as they neared the town there were a few people on the road and Elizabeth slipped her hand from his and demurely put it on his elbow. He looked down on her and smiled but saw that her expression was dimmed by some concern.

"What concerns you, dearest?"

"I- I am so happy to be here, walking with you, engaged to you. I… Nevermind, I would not blemish this time with you in any way."

"Nothing can, Elizabeth. Do not hesitate and tell me what concerns you. I would rather resolve any lingering anxieties than bury them. I believe that is one of the reasons that we misunderstood each other in the past. Let us move forward by sharing our concerns with each other."

Elizabeth nodded but the worried crease between her brows remained. "I would not take a single word from my apology; truly I was very vain and treated you terribly. I am not intending to make excuses for my behavior but… but because I have agreed to marry you, I hope that in the future, you will share your information with me. I do trust you, and will certainly do my best to be a respectful wife but I have my own mind and will sometimes make the wrong decisions or have incorrect beliefs if they are made without all the information available to me."

"I will not always be able to tell you everything, but I hope that you can trust that I would always make the best decision I could for your sake and for Pemberly."

"I do trust that, and I also understand that time and other constraints could limit your ability to confide in me. But the same could be said about my decisions and I hope that you can see that you would not want me to keep information relevant to you from you."

Darcy had not considered that. He rarely depended on Georgiana or any other woman in his life to make decisions that would affect him. But as the mistress of Pemberley, every decision she made would affect him.

He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. "That is a very reasonable request, and when it is possible I will be sure that you are not without the necessary information you need to make your decisions. When I cannot, I hope that I can ask you to trust me and you will do so, that you will allow me to tell you when it is a better time and not work against me without an understanding of why I have made the decision I have."

"I can. However, I hope that you understand that such a tactic as asking me to trust you on blind devotion cannot be a long term or often used one."

"No, indeed. You have a keen mind that I have long admired and I would not ask you to stop using it just because you married me. In fact, I am quite depending on it, as the mistress of Pemberley is a weighty responsibility."

"I am sure it is. In truth I find the concept of my being its mistress an intimidating idea. Can you tell me more of Pemberley so I know what I have so impulsively agreed to?" she said in a somewhat teasing tone.

Darcy never minded speaking of his home for he loved it deeply. For the next half hour they meandered down the road as he told her about Pemberley, its lands and the surrounding towns.

Soon they were nearing the Loungbourn drive and Darcy was telling her about the last harvest season. Then Elizabeth slowed and said, "Pray, do not take this as disinterest but I would stop you before we reach my home so that we clarify something while still in relative privacy."

"Certainly. We can even 'take in the view' from the south field if you wish."

Elizabeth laughed to remember her mother's obvious ploy. "I do not think that will be necessary. I only wished to know what your intention is in buying up Lt. Wickham's debts. What I mean is, while I am very grateful for your assistance for our town, I hope that you doing so will not enable Lt. Wickham to continue his misdeeds elsewhere."

Darcy felt some of his euphoric mood slipping away. "No, indeed. I have learned my lesson there. I will not let these debts die with me; I intended to sell them to a creditor, now that he has fled. I wish more than anything to remain with you and marry you quickly but I believe I ought to help the efforts to find him. I know better than perhaps anyone his habits and behavior. I also know of a lot of his contacts and believe that I have a good chance of finding him."

"Then you will leave again?"

"I fear I must. But I assure you, I will be as quick as I possibly can be and will return the very minute after I drag the scoundrel to the magistrate."

"When will you leave?"

"I will stay for the wedding. I cannot break my promise to Bingley, but I will probably leave the day after."

"I understand, and even admire your choice. But I will miss you," Elizabeth said, her voice filled with sincerity.

She really was too charming. Darcy could not help smiling down into her sad eyes and then quickly bending down to give her a light kiss.

"Mr. Darcy!" she protested, looking around quickly to make sure no one had seen.

"There is no inappropriateness. We are engaged, remember?"

"You have not received my father's blessing yet nor has it been announced."

"Actually," Darcy said and felt a little smug. "I do have your father's blessing. I obtained it when I requested to court you. He mocked me and said that you would never agree but if you did so would he."

Elizabeth's mouth parted with surprise and he stole another quick kiss.

"Mr. Darcy! Really, I must protest!" said a giggling Elizabeth.

Darcy started walking again but did not feel the least bit penitent.

"Speaking of announcing it…" Elizabeth said, looking embarrassed.

"Our engagement?"

"Yes. I cannot wait to announce it publicly but perhaps we ought to wait until after the wedding? I would not like to take any focus away from Jane and Charles."

"Ah, I see. You are embarrassed of me and wish to delay the announcement as long as you can," Darcy said, pleased with the opportunity to tease her.

"No, indeed! Don't tease me. I am serious."

"Well, despite your cruel treatment-"

"Mr. Darcy!" Elizabeth laughed.

"About that 'Mr. Darcy.' How much longer do you intend to be so formal with me, your fiancé?"

Elizabeth blushed and looked down. "I am being respectful. Even my mother calls my father by his surname."

"Well, at least when we are alone I hope you can be less formal."

"I will try," Elizabeth agreed.

Not a truly satisfying response, but good enough for now, Darcy thought since they were nearing Longbourn. He allowed her to turn the conversation to the wedding and listened happily to anything she wished to tell him until they entered the Bennet home.

Mrs. Bennet was thrilled that he had come to visit but scolded Elizabeth for taking so long to bring him in as there 'was so much to be done.' The rest of the afternoon was spent busily in wedding preparations.