Steven was running as fast as his short legs could carry him. The sand slowed him down, hot on his sandal-less feet, and he had to push himself even harder to gain enough ground from the monster chasing him. She was getting close, he could hear her footsteps on the sand even faster than his and gaining fast. He had to go faster, to escape the grasping hands, but when he leaned forward to try and escape the touch, he fell. Sand went into his mouth, under his tongue and down his throat and choking the breath out of him. He eyes stung from the same fate, and he could barely see his purple and white double when he turned around and held his arms up in defense.

"NO!"

Amethyst laughed and reached down to tag Steven, and Steven almost gave himself up. But then came his savior, and he was pulled to the safety atop the cliff.

"No man left behind!" Spinel cheered.

"YEAH!" Steven whooped, "Take that, Amethyst!"

Spinel turned her back to Steven and her hands started to move comically fast, the sounds of rubber coming from nowhere as she worked her magic. Steven tried to sneak a peek at her work, but before he could, Spinel spun back around holding a pink balloon-sword. She kneeled before Steven and held out the sword to him.

"Blessed be, brave soldier! Save us from the invasion of the Touch-and-Grabby Body snatchers!"

Steven grabbed the sword and held it to the skies. "Never again shall a body be touched and grabbed away by the evil fiend! A shall slay this mighty monster and save all of Beach City!"

"Delmarva thanks you for your brave and honorable service, most noble Steven!"

Steven brandished the sword, and pointed it down at Amethyst. "Prepare to be slain, body snatcher!"

Amethyst, as identical to Steven as his own reflection, held out her arms. "Come at me dude."

"I will!" Steven jumped off the cliff. He let himself fall for a distance, feeling the wind blow all around him, messing his hair and stinging his gem, before he willed himself to fall slower, kicking out his legs until he felt them touch the sand and was immediately able to jump back away from Amethyst's touch.

"Back, monster!"

"Stop."

Steven stopped and looked at Pearl. She was on the porch with her arms crossed, staring down at them.

"Your form is all wrong!" She tip-toed down the steps and to Steven's side, snatching the balloon sword from him and falling naturally into a fight position, "You're going to get yourself killed."

She struck a few blows at the Steven-shaped Amethyst.

"Pearl." Steven whined, "I was just playing."

"That's no excuse for bad formation! If you have time to play, you have time to practice. Now observe." Pearl jabbed at Amethyst's gemstone. "If you're attacking a gem straight on, don't go for their gemstones. Most times that will end with your failure. Instead..." Pearl readjusted her sword so it poked Amethyst's stomach. "Search for more open area to damage. For example, if I was trying to defeat Amethyst, her stomach would be a good bet. But if I were trying to beat you..."

Pearl was in front of Steven in a flash, and the balloon was against his chest.

"I would go for your much more open and exposed chest."

"Well what if I was attacking you?"

"Then either works; chest or stomach. If you are unable to get to either, the neck and back would be your next best bets."

"Stomach, chest, neck, and back."

"That's right, Steven. No matter how big the gem is, they'll still poof with enough damage."

"Pearl!" Spinel stepped down off the cliff, stretching one leg all the way down before pulling the rest of her along, "You ruined our game!"

"No, I am simply improving it with proper stance and battle techniques."

"It's a game, Pearl, not battle practice!"

"Well, what if you were to be attacked by a monster, and Garnet and I weren't here?"

"I'll pound it with my mallet! And Amethyst has her whip."

"But what if it attacked Steven?"

"He could bubble himself!"

"And trap himself!" Pearl pointed out, "Without any means of escape!"

"You think he'd be able to defend himself with a rubber balloon sword?" Spinel sounded bored with the whole situation.

"Well, no. But once we find him a proper weapon, he will be able to!"

"So let's train him when he has a proper weapon!" Spinel said, "Honestly, Pearl, what's gotten into you?"

"Oh, she's just grouchy cause I got her good this morning!" Amethyst threw back her head in a laugh.

"What do you mean?" Steven asked her.

Pearl put her hand on her hip. "Amethyst here thought it would just be so funny to drop a gallon of paint on my head this morning."

Steven and Spinel both snickered.

"I had to spend hours washing it out!"

"Oh, Pearl." Steven tried to stifle his laughter, "That's so sad."

"That's nothing!" Amethyst exclaimed, "I have much more in store for you."

"Ugh! Are we really doing this again?"

"Pearl, humans have one day a year dedicated to pranking, and I'm going to take advantage of it!"

"Of all the childish nonsense." Pearl gave the balloon roughly over to Steven and started to walk away.

Spinel saw her opening, reached into her gem, and motioned for Amethyst and Steven to shush. From the heart she pulled a snowball, and then shouted.

"Hey Pearl! You forgot this!"

Pearl turned around and the snowball hit her right on the gem.

"Ugh!" Pearl wiped the icy water from her gemstone, "Why would you do that!"

"Haha!" Spinel pointed, "Sucker!"

Pearl stomped her feet. "I'm telling Garnet!"

With that, she stomped away up the stairs and slammed the door behind her. With Pearl out of the way, everyone retook their positions to continue their game.


Spinel was in the kitchen making dinner, the games of that day still dancing around her mind as she hummed and sliced the carrots for her stew. At first, the humming was just that; wordless and simple. Then lyrics started to filter into her head to match the tune and she couldn't help but sing them aloud.

"Go down to the ocean. The Crystal Tide is rising. The water's gotten higher as the shore washes out." She closed her eyes to feel the song and it's meaning wash through her, a familiar sting rising in her gemstone. "Keep your eyes wide open even when the sun is blazing. The moons controls the tides it can cause you to drown..."

Spinel stopped singing. She cut the carrot once more, blinking slowly and glancing over her shoulder at the one-gem audience that had gathered.

"If this is about this morning, no I will not apologize. Play dumb games, win dumb prized. Or, in this case, interrupt games and you're gonna get hit in the head with a snowball."

Pearl's initial reaction was to huff, but she held the annoyance silently inside her. "It's not about that! Well, not completely."

Spinel scrapped the rest of the vegetables into the bubbling pot and started to wash her hands. "Then what do you want?"

"I want to prank Amethyst."

Spinel stopped her scrubbing. The cold water washed over her hands, pooling at the bottom of the sink as it washed away the rest of the bubbles and slowly drained. "You want to prank Amethyst?" Spinel repeated. Slowly, she turned around.

"Well, yes! It's about time Amethyst got a taste of her own medicine!" Pearl reasoned, wringing her hands "And maybe teach her that I do not appreciate being the center of her little pranks."

"So... why tell me?" Spinel asked, "How do you know I'm not just gonna run off and tell her?"

"Because I know you! You love a good prank just as much as Amethyst! With your experience and my knowledge, we should be able to pull off a decent prank easy!"

Spinel gave a half-laugh and turned her back to the Crystal Gem. "Pass."

"What?!" Pearl was genuinely shocked, "But... but I asked so nicely! You have to help me!"

"The only thing I have to do right now is get dinner done for Steven."

"But I wouldn't know where to start by myself! I'm not a prankster!"

"Wow." Spinel whistled, "That uh, that honestly sounds like a you problem. And would you look at it? I'm not you."

"Please, Spinel!" Pearl grabbed Spinel by the shoulder, and Spinel was quick to turn around, "I don't ask for much! Just this quick, little favor to get back at Amethyst! Please!"

Pearl was practically on her knees begging. Spinel felt the smallest twinge of sympathy and a rush of embarrassment at the pearl bowed before her.

"Okay, okay, just get off the floor!"

Pearl stood up. "You'll help me then?" Her eyes lit up like fireworks.

"Yeah." Spinel put the cutting knife in the sink. "Let's get to work."


The van was almost perfect. Flawlessly repaired from whatever pieces they could get from the wreckage, and all the rest so generously 'found' by Garnet. Greg's motions were extra carful when it came to washing his newly-repaired baby. Steven, while he had initially offered to help with the cleaning, was now running for his life from the cold sprouts of water that Amethyst shot at him through the hose, laughing as she terrorized the young boy into laughing too.

"Remind me to thank Pearl for fixing her up." Greg called, "She's never been this perfect!"

Steven ran past again, soaked down to the skin with the freezing water. The unrelenting Amethyst wasn't far behind.

"Come here human boy! Feel the wrath of my waterfall!"

"No! Amethyst, stop!" Steven laughed the words out, and continued to run around the darkened pavement.

"Hey Stew-ball!" Greg called, "Mind running over by the van for a second?"

Greg had the sense to step out of the line of fire as Steven turned to run by the van and Amethyst continued her assault, just barely missing Steven and spraying down the van instead.

"Thanks, Stu!" Greg called after him, and then started to rub down the spots he had missed, "She's gonna be clean in no time! Guess there uh... no reason to keep staying with you, huh?"

The sudden sadness radiating from his father made Steen stop in his tracks, ignoring the imminent soaking he would get, and did get. Amethyst howled her laughter as she water struck Steven's back, and as she walked closer to Steven, the water's pressure increased.

"You can still come visit!" Steven said; Amethyst, bored with Steven's lack of running, started to spray the water into the air so it would shower down on them like rain.

Greg smiled and looked back at him. "All the extra terrestrial in the universe couldn't keep me away, Steven."

"Dude." Amethyst said, "I'm right here."

"But you're not a threat!" Steven objected, "You're Amethyst!"

"And you're not technically extra terrestrial either, right?" Greg asked, "I mean, you were made on earth."

"Yeah." Amethyst dropped the hose and started to wiggle her fingers in a playful-threatening manner, "By our evil alien overlords!"

Everyone laughed at that, including Amethyst.

"Yeah, but you're not evil Amethyst." Steven took Amethyst by her hands and smiled up at her, "You're my family."

For a moment, a warmth radiated from the purple gem. Her eyes went wide, her smile disappeared, and she returned the gentle stare that Steven had given her. Then she blinked, and the warmth was gone and her smile was back. She scoffed and gave Steven a gentle shove that sent him stumbling back a few steps.

"Don't be sappy, dude!"

"I can't help it!" Steven laughed, "I just care too much!"

"Would any of you lovelies like a cold beverage?"

Everyone turned to Pearl. Her eyes were closed and there was a wide smile on her face as she offered a plate of three glasses of lemonade. Steven went to grab one almost immediately, but Pearl was quick to pull the glasses out of his reach.

"Aw! Pearl!"

"This is one is yours, Steven." Pearl picked one of the glasses and gave it to Steven.

"But I wanted that one!" Steven pointed to another glass, the one that had caught his eye in the first place.

"Well you get this one." Pearl walked to Greg and gave him a glass. "This one's yours, Greg."

"Hey, thanks!" Greg looked down at the cup before he took a drink.

Steven saw what his dad did and he did the same, finding nothing, and so he took a sip of the sweet juice. Amethyst didn't wait for Pearl to offer, and simply jumped up to take the remaining glass, chugging it all in one swing while Pearl watched with a strange grin on her face. Half way through her impatient swallowing, Amethyst's expression changed. Her eyelids drooped in a bored fashion, her smile was gone again, and she had the look of someone who had just lost their will to live. Not a quitter, she swallowed the rest of the mouthful and smacked her lips together, looking down at the empty glass with that same look on her face.

"What's wrong, Amethyst?" Steven asked.

"Mine tastes good." Greg added, taking another drink to prove it.

Amethyst hiccuped, and a bubble came out of her mouth. "Huh. Soap." She licked her lips, and then bit into the cup, chewing up the shattered glass and swallowing it before doing the same with what remained. She burped. "Thanks Pearl!"

Pearl's mouth dropped. Amethyst patted her on the back and then tucked into a dash, speeding away before another word could be said. Pearl turned to face the other's gems path of escape, still gawking.

"What in the universe!"

"Uh, hello." Greg raised a finger, "I can assure you Amethyst has never been in me."

Pearl flashed a dangerous look at him.

"Was..." The words felt strange on Steven's tongue when they were adressed to Pearl, "Was that a prank?"

"It was meant to be!" Pearl cried out.

Greg snickered, and Pearl stared at him like a cat stared at a mouse.

"And just what is so funny?!" She demanded.

Greg gave a few more snickers before saying. "Not very affective."

Then Steven and Greg both were laughing, while color rushed into Pearl's face.

"Well it was good for a first try wasn't it?" Pearl asked.

"You don't try and prank a master on the first try!" Greg said, "You start off small and work your way up!"

"Well how was I supposed to know that?"

"I dunno, common sense?"

Pearl scoffed. "Well, I followed Spinel's plan perfectly. I don't understand how it could have gone wrong!"

"Sorry Pearl." Steven said, "But it looks like you're the one who got pranked."


Pearl found Spinel by the river, crouched down by the bank. At her approach, a tiny salamander skittered back into the water and dashed away. Spinel looked at Pearl and grinned.

"Pearl! How'd the prank go?"

"Awful!" Pearl wailed, throwing her hands up in the air, "She didn't even flinch!"

"Hmm." Spinel brought her hand to her mouth. "Strange. She hate's lemon soap."

"I should have known this would never work!" Pearl huffed and crossed her arms, "What was I thinking, trying to prank Amethyst ofr all people!"

"Relax, Pearl!" Spinel put her hand on Pearl's shoulder, "Not every prank's gonna be a winner. We can just try again."

"But she's going to be expecting it now! It's no use!"

"Where there's a will, there's a way! A good pranks a good prank, especially if it's random. You need to just keep trying on a non-scheduled schedule. Not anything that could hurt her, but something to make her question her very existence."

"Like what?"

"Well, last year Amethyst pranked Vidalia by slowly replacing her family portraits with pictures of frogs."

Pearl sniggered.

"Of course, Vidalia eventually found out, but the prank went on for a few weeks. And the year before that she put hundreds of random stuffed animals all over my room! I'm still finding some to this day! Now that's a good prank."

"So you're saying I should buy a few hundred stuffed animals?"

"No! I'm saying be random! Plan to not have a plan!"

"What? That doesn't make any sense!"

"Exactly!" Spinel booped Pearl on the nose. "Random!"


"Yo who the fuck left a hundred ass wipes in my room?"

Spinel nearly choked on her hot chocolate. "What?" Spinel looked to Pearl, "Why?"

"Because it's random!" Pearl declared, doing a little dance, "And it makes her react like that! Oh, also, I'm going to need that toilet back as well. It's for Steven."

"You've got enough butt wipes in that gem of yours to fill the Grand Canyon that is your ass crack!" Amethyst spat back, "You got all the crack, no ass!"

Spinel tried to stop her laughter but it didn't work and she didn't care.

"How did you even get in my room?!"

Pearl looked at Garnet, and then everyone was looking at Garnet. The gem was sat back against a counter, her arms crossed and her visors reflecting the scene. "I like chaos."

Pearl grinned and leaned down to Amethyst's height. "I was granted a temporary pass into your room?"

"What?! No fair! Garnet!" Amethyst turned to Garnet and stuck out her arms.

Garnet simply stared.

"Ugh! Forget it!" For an instant, Amethyst's hair spiked up, but then it laid flat again, "Just stay out of my room!"

Amethyst ran back to the temple door, slamming it shut behind her as she disappeared into her slightly-less-of-a-mess room. Pearl turned to Spinel, a smile on her face and warm emotions brewing in her gemstone.

"Oh that was so exciting! I can't wait to do another one!"

"I dunno Pearl." Spinel seemed much more hesitant, much more sympathetic. "She seemed pretty upset."

"Well now she knows how I feel when she pranks me!"

"I guess." Spinel frowned, "How much did you spend on that toilet paper anyway?"

"Too much." Pearl admitted.

"Man, Greg's gonna hate you."

"And it will have been worth it to see the expression on Amethyst's face! Now what's next?!"

"That's up to you I guess."

"You're... not going to help me?" Pearl felt a strange sadness and she didn't know why.

"I figured you'd just stop after one good one, but whatevs. Just stay out of her room, okay? You know how she gets when people mess with her stuff." Spinel patted Pearl on the back and departed for her room.


Amethyst, Spinel, and Steven were all glad to return home after an afternoon of fun at Funland; there had been a vendor there and Steven, after a few minutes of begging, had gotten a rainbow snow cone and he was enjoying every second of it. His tongue was colored red, and his mouth was cold, but he refused to stop every time he tasted the sweet syrup. He held Spinel's hand for no true reason other than the fact that he could and she was right there.

At the same time they opened the front door, the door to the temple opened. Amethyst's door. The small group stopped at the doorway.

Pearl came out of the room, dressed in a hazmat suit (she looked hilarious wearing something other than her normal clothes) and holding a pile of assorted junk far away from her body.

"HEY!"

Steven flinched at the violence in the purple gem's voice.

"That's my junk!"

Amethyst ran forward, trying to pull the pile out of Pearl's arms. The force of both gems pulling in opposite directions sent the pile flying upward, and bits and pieces of it landed all around the room.

"Ugh! Amethyst!" Pearl scolded, pulling off the helmet of her suit so she could be heard "Now I have to disinfect everything!"

Pearl's words meant nothing. Amethyst was scrambling around the room, dashing to the first scrap she saw and beaming it into her gem before she dashed off to the next, and the next, and the next. Steven tried to run over to help, but Spinel stuck out her arm to keep him in place.

Pearl leaned down to pick up an old, stained shirt, but Amethyst was faster. She slammed into Pearl, hard enough for her to have to stumble a few feet back to regain her balance as Amethyst saved the old shirt in her gem. Then she was up on her feet and walking fast toward Pearl. Her teeth grew sharp and pointed like an animal's, and her eyes and aura flashed with violence.

"What were you doing in my room, Pearl?!"

"Cleaning!" Pearl said promptly, "Or at least, trying to. Hardly made a dent in that mess of yours..."

Violence turned to a numbing fear. "You cleared out more?!"

Before Pearl could answer, Amethyst was gone.

"Why would you do that Pearl?" Steven asked the pale gem.

"Because it was filthy in there!" Pearl argued.

"IT'S NOT YOUR ROOM!" Steven looked at Spinel and Spinel looked at Steven as their words matched perfectly.

Pearl gasped, and stuck up her nose. "Well I'm sorry if I have some standards for upkeep in my temple."

"Not your temple, either." Spinel muttered.

Amethyst came back out of the temple, not running, not yelling, but practically dissipating with evil intent. "Where it is?"

"Where is what?" Pearl asked innocently.

"My stuff, Pearl!" Amethyst took another, heavy step closer.

"I disposed of all that waste." Pearl dismissed.

"Where?"

Steven felt a sudden rush of fear all his own seeing Amethyst's nails turn almost into claws.

"I'm not telling you."

Amethyst was practically upon Pearl now, and she stuck a clawed finger against Pearl's chest. "My stuff wasn't yours to trash!"

"That garbage needed to go! And now you have much more space for better things!"

"It wasn't just trash! It was memories!" Amethyst blinked, and tears began to fall, "What made you think that was okay?!"

"Oh, get over yourself!" Pearl spoke in a condescending tone, dismissing all of Amethyst's words, "You can just get more."

"But that was my garbage!" Amethyst smacked her chest, "In my room! What if I went into your room and left garbage everywhere, huh?"

The tears were falling faster than ever, staining her face and staining the floor where they fell. The tear trails were a dark indigo, almost black against Amethyst's skin, but when Steven tried to run to comfort her, Spinel didn't let him. She held his hand in a vice like grip, her eyes glossed and staring at something that wasn't truly there.

"Amy..." She whispered softly.

Amethyst screwed her eyes shut, wiped them dry, but didn't open them again. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Amethyst ran on all fours, out of the house and, once she ignited her true speed, out of sight.