I'm sorry this took so long. You'd think being quarantined would give me an excuse to write more, but it merely took my want to be creative. But I'm back now, and I hope you enjoy :)
xxx
The funeral was over. The two sisters were now silently sitting next to each other at their mother's house. Very few words had been exchanged between them since Alex's apology at said funeral. Alex bit her lip and bowed her head. She knew she had hurt Kara the only way she could on this planet: with words. But did she mean what she said? The truth is, most of it was really how she felt. She felt neglected by her father, and that Kara had gotten away with more than she should've. The golden girl, that's what Alex had called her. Alex glanced over at her sister. Those words described her perfectly.
"Alex." Kara had finally broken the silence. "I'm sorry."
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who was a total jerk..."
Kara shook her head. "No, Al, you were just letting out your frustrations and I can't blame you for that. ... You weren't wrong about the things you said."
Alex opened her mouth to argue but quickly shut it again. That was what got them in this mess to begin with.
Kara hesitated, then placed her hand on Alex's shoulder. "But you should know that I never meant to hurt you or damage the relationship between you and your dad. I... didn't ask for this... You know back then I didn't even want to be here..."
Alex swallowed hard. "And now?"
Kara put her head on Alex's shoulder and sighed. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."
Alex closed her eyes and leaned against Kara's head. "I don't want you to."
Kara took Alex's hand and kissed the back of it. "I'll always be right here."
'I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this,' was the only thing repeated in Alex's mind. She had the tendency to beat herself up for longer than was necessary. She needed the negative thoughts to go away, but it was like her father's death was the equivalent of Kara's red kryptonite; it made every bad thought come to the surface. And some of it was still in her system. "I didn't want a sister..."
"I didn't either..." Kara closed her eyes and drew closer. "But I feel differently now, and I hope you do too..."
Alex kissed the top of Kara's head. "Of course I do..."
Kara breathed out, then stood up and offered her sister her hand. "Come on."
Alex took it and was pulled to her feet. "Where are we going?"
Kar smiled a little. "To our old room. Maybe a little nostalgia can help us out."
Alex raised an eyebrow but allowed Kara to pull her up to what used to be their room. She looked at the two separate twin beds and went through the years in her of their time spent in there, the good and the bad. There was a lot of bad, especially in the beginning. And the first time she thought her dad had died...
Kara looked over at her sister and saw that unmistakable look in her eyes. Something inside of her was breaking, and she needed to get control over it before she snapped again. "Alex. Don't."
"I thought he was dead two times before it was real. Kara, this isn't fair for me to go through this so many times."
"For you to go through this? Alex, you're the one not being fair. You're not the only one affected, and you need to get that into that thick skull of yours." Alex looked at her for a few seconds, but it felt longer than that. Kara gulped but still held her ground. Alex wasn't going to get away with the things she says when she's angry anymore. "Yeah, I said it, you heard me right."
Alex's jaw clenched as she ground her teeth. It took a few more seconds before it loosened and she broke eye contact. "You're right... I'm sorry. This has all gone too far..." Them, without a verbal or physical cue, the two sisters went and sat on their respective beds. Alex brought her knees up to her chin and buried her face into them. "I shouldn't miss him..."
Kara mirrored her position but had her head turned to look at her. "Why do you think that?"
"Because... Because he didn't love me as much as I loved him... I wasn't enough..."
"I'm sorry..." Kara bit her lip as an attempt to hold back tears, but it didn't work. "I-I didn't mean for it to be that way, Alex, I-I was adjusting to life here and I just... I'm so sorry..."
Alex had had enough of their separation. "Please come here," Alex whispered, reaching out for her. "I think we both need a hug."
Kara wasted no time as she climbed onto Alex's small twin bed and hugged her sister tightly.
Alex nuzzled her nose into Kara's neck and released a shaky breath. "I need you to know that I love you. So much..."
Kara ran her fingers through Alex's hair and kissed her head. "I love you too. Always." That sat like that for a while, silent, except for their breathing and occasional sniffle, until they grew tired and adjusted so that they were lying down facing each other. Kara brushed a tear off of Alex's cheek and smiled a little. "We're gonna be okay, Al."
Alex captured her hand and held it there. "Yeah?"
Kara nodded before she touched their foreheads together. "Yeah."
Alex stared up at her for a moment, then finally smiled. "Have I told you I loved you?"
"Many times, yes," Kara teased, kissing her forehead affectionately. "Alex, you have the right to feel the way that you do. I'm not mad at you for the things you said. Just... Try not to hate him, even if it's for my sake. He was your father, and he loved you, I know he did."
Alex tucked her head under Kara's chin and sighed. "I'm trying... I don't want to hate him..."
feeling Alex's arms stretch around her waist made Kara do the same thing. "Just try, that's all I ask." No response followed. "Alex?" A snore. Kara giggled and hugged her a little tighter. "Goodnight, Alex."
xxx
Eliza had no idea where Alex and Kara went. Perhaps she was a little nervous that they had gotten into a fight again. While searching for them she found the door to their old room slightly open. Eliza raised an eyebrow before she pushed the door open and was greeted with heartwarming sight. The two sisters were curled up against each other, Kara holding the back of Alex's head protectively. It seemed there had been a make up. Eliza smiled. She knew they couldn't stay separated for long.
