Kathryn lay on her side, eyes closed, as Chakotay's fingers traced gently over her features. Her body still hummed with her waning orgasm as his pointer finger traced over the arch of her eyebrow, down the bridge of her nose, across her delicate cupid's bow. She hummed lightly as the back of his knuckles grazed across her cheekbone, finally opening her eyes to look at him. He looked just as content as she felt.
After they had exchanged gifts earlier that day, Chakotay had made them breakfast. While he cooked, Kathryn worked on a baby sweater, moving it onto the new needles Chakotay had made for her. She marveled again at the feel of the wooden needles sliding effortlessly against one another. He was a true craftsman, but she wasn't surprised.
After breakfast, they spent a bit of time admiring their gifts again. Chakotay did a bit of rudimentary whittling with his new knife, and Kathryn spent more time knitting, but often caught herself pausing to gaze at the ring that Chakotay had made for her.
She couldn't believe that, in their own primitive way here on New Earth, they were now married. Their union was so lacking in pomp and circumstance, but so perfect in its simplicity that Kathryn felt her heart catch each time she thought about it.
She was Chakotay's wife. Chakotay was her husband, now and forever.
And yet somehow, those terms seemed to cheapen their bond somehow. But thinking of it as anything other than wonderful left a sour taste in her mouth, so she focused on the fact that, though it was just two of them...for now, from here on out, they would face the here on out together...always.
They'd spent the afternoon outside with the Phreezah, discussing Christmas and other human holidays and traditions. Several of their neighbors 'listened' to Kathryn and Chakotay's thoughts on the holidays, and Oona even had presents for them. Kathryn had been gifted a large swatch of fabric that Oona had made during the Phreezah's time spent below ground. She had tried to explain the process, but there were no English words that the universal translator could pick up to make Kathryn understand it. From what she could tell, there was a type of spider-like creature that lived below ground that produced the silks, but that was all that Kathryn understood of the process.
The fabric was beautiful; a silky, creamy white that kept Kathryn warm when she was outside, though it was very thin, even when layered. The Phreezah's clothing was made from it, and it held the same regenerative properties as the snow. Kathryn had thought to scan it with the tricorder, but decided against it; she was coming to learn that the mystery of things sometimes made them even more special.
Oona had also given Chakotay a large bundle full of a type of mushrooms that grow in the caves in which the Phreezah dwell. Though the Phreezah did not eat them, or have any use for them, they grew in abundance and were more of a nuisance than anything. The Phreezah harvest them all during the warm weather and clear them out of the caves when they come out for the winter. Oona had seen in Chakotay's thoughts his love of mushroom soup and hoped that these would be safe and edible for him. A quick scan with the tricorder told him they were, and he was thrilled at the prospect of making soup with them.
Kathryn had shown Oona her ring from Chakotay and explained what a wedding was. The young Phreezah was enthralled at the idea of two people belonging to one another, but could see the bond between Kathryn and Chakotay, both in their thoughts and in person as well. She congratulated them on this momentous event in their lives before they finally returned home for the day.
And now Kathryn lay in the blissful comfort of afterglow as Chakotay continued his ministrations, running the tips of his fingers over the flesh of her cheek and down to her neck.
"Kathryn, what's going on in that mind of yours? I keep seeing flashes of sadness in your eyes." He kissed the tip of her nose, "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"
Kathryn sighed out a soft chuckle; of course he would have noticed her downturn of emotions now and throughout the day.
She leaned forward, pressing a sincere kiss to his lips, her silent way of letting him know that she was okay. His hand slid around her to pull closer, pouring his own emotion into the kiss. He didn't take this as her answer, however, and pulled away after several seconds. She smiled at him.
"There's nothing wrong, I promise, it's just...when I think of us as husband and wife...it sounds so lovely, but so lacking somehow." She wasn't sure how much of this he would want to hear but decided that full disclosure was her only option. Chakotay silently agreed, his eyes telling her he was ready to listen. "When I think of a husband and wife, I think of Mark." She cringed at how came out, "I just...I did care for him greatly. I still do. But I've had plenty of time to think about it since we ended up in the Delta quadrant and even more time since we ended up here.
"I agreed to marry him because it felt safe and right. He was a good match for me; smart, eloquent, and completely supportive of my career in Starfleet." She could tell that Chakotay had no idea where this was going, but was blessedly silent, allowing her to get her thoughts out.
"But he never challenged me, never really questioned me or let me know when he disagreed with me. He was one hundred percent supportive...always."
"But that's not what you always wanted." Chakotay offered. Kathryn nodded.
"It would have been the perfect marriage on paper, and I was lucky to have him in my life when I did...but thinking of him as my husband, versus what you and I have. It doesn't compare." She furrowed her brow, "I don't mean to speak ill of Mark. I cared for him dearly, and I know he'll make someone very happy someday. But when I think of you as my husband...the sentiment just seems so inadequate to describe what we have together."
Chakotay was silent for a moment, letting her thoughts settle in his mind, also giving her a few moments in case she wanted to say more. She remained quiet, however, her eyes expectant. He let his fingers play over her shoulder, his touch trailing over her collarbone and up her neck until his fingers slid into her hair, his thumb brushing across her cheek. "My people have some ideas about marriage and weddings that you might like. Do you want to hear them?"
Her lips curled up, "Is this another one of your 'ancient legends'?" Chakotay chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.
"Not exactly. Though I think you appreciated the last legend very much. This is more an idea of marriage; a bond forged between two people." Kathryn nodded for him to continue.
"My people believe that when love is experienced between two people, it is like the flame of a candle. When two people share that love, the light is increased; two candles burning where before there was only one. Only the flame of one candle can light the other; it cannot burn on its own." He continued to let his fingers whisper over her skin as he spoke, watching as the tension left her face.
"There is a blessing spoken at many Indian weddings. 'Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time does pass, remember: Like a star should your love be constant. Like a stone should your love be firm. Be close, yet not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with each other; for storms will come, but they will go quickly. Be free in giving of affection and warmth. Make love often, and be sensuous to one another. Have no fear, and let not the ways of words of the unenlightened give you unease. For the Great Spirit is with you, now and always." Her mouth dropped open as he spoke the words; she felt all of them deeply.
"Kathryn, I've heard that spoken dozens of times, but never truly believed the sentiment until I met you." He pressed another kiss to her forehead, "You complete me in a way that I never knew was possible. When I told you months ago that I find my peace in you, that was the truth. But it's more true today than ever before. Every day, that peace grows stronger, and I hope it grows stronger in you as well." He let his eyes play over her face for a moment, "Kathryn, my love for you goes beyond anything I can elaborate with words." He smiled, "I have no past loves to compare it to like you do, but I know that my soul has found its other half in you."
"And my soul has found its other half in you, Chakotay." His smile pulled his dimples into his cheeks as he chuckled out a sigh.
"Wife, soulmate, lover, mother of my children, my other half, my love, my life. They all mean the same thing. I love you, for this life and all the lives our spirits have left to live."
She smiled, "I like the sound of that." She let her thumb brush over his tattoo. "You do bring me peace, in ways that I never even knew I needed." Her brow still furrowed, "I don't mean to speak ill of Mark, but I could never feel for him what I feel for you. I couldn't with anyone else. Even if we were on Voyager or back on Earth, I know that I could never love another as I love you."
"Good, though you don't have many options anymore." She swatted him gently on the arm, "But I know how you feel because I feel the same way." He pressed one last kiss to her lips before pulling the covers more snugly around them, "Thank you for sharing that with me."
"Thank you for listening." She pressed herself against him under the covers, sighing as his warmth enveloped her. "Thank you for a wonderful Christmas."
"Our first of many, and our last as a family of two." Kathryn smiled at the thought of their next Christmas; celebrating with their son and daughter.
What a future it would be…
